I'm now 87 years old. My wife passed several years ago and my children and grandchildren are all grown up, very busy and getting on with life. I'm still fairly mobile and have a circle of old guys as friends. We do community projects by building things like outdoor benches for the local park, wheelchair ramps, bird houses, vegetable garden boxes, fix kids bikes, serve lunch at the local public school, etc. It feels great to give back to the community and regain a sense of worth. I really enjoy the camaraderie with my friends. The Dalai Lama was once asked if he feared death. "No, he replied, I don't fear death, I'm afraid of dying!" And I have to agree with him. One of my friends died in his sleep a few months age. The response from the fellows? "Lucky bastard!" A slow lingering death has to be at the top of the worst things list. I enjoyed Herbert's sudden observation of trees, the wind and birds, etc. This is happening to me as I slowly turn inwards and begin to pay attention to small happenings around me. I'm like a 5 year old, laying on my back in the grass and watching clouds go by, finding faces in the white fluffy stuff; hearing and watching birds and small animals scurrying through the underbrush. And of course the guilt and remorse of suddenly realizing that what I'm doing now, what I'm paying attention to now, is something I should have been doing all my life. I don't know if I'm afraid of death or not. I've thought about it lately and don't have an answer. I really don't want to pass on because I love and enjoy my children and grandchildren so very much. I have regrets about what could have been and realize I won't be around when all the new science and discoveries become a reality. But then I realize what the Buddhists say about ego. Dropping the ego and staying in the moment is the secret of life. Do no harm to ALL living creatures and be kind to others. As you can see, the video of Herbert Fingarette has had an impact on me, so had to put my feelings in print. May all of you stay safe and may all of you have happiness.

It’s impossible to explain to young people how it feels to wake up and realize: I’m 97 years old. But my mind is still 45.

For people wondering, he died November 2, 2018, at the age of 97, in Berkeley, California.

Seeing an older person cry is the one thing that breaks me man :(

"I wish I had argued more online" said nobody ever on his deathbed.

“In my arrogance, I thought that I could conquer death with logic. But now I know that I only used logic to suppress my fear of death.”

MY MOM IS 90 SHE IS SLOWING DOWN AND I KNOW THE END IS NEAR SHE IS THE BEST MOM A SON COULD EVER HAVE

My great grandma is 97 years old. I had lunch with her today. She still makes food, drives her car to my mom's place, we have long conversations about life together. She is very aware of everything happening in the world. She attributes both her physical and psychological strength to the people around her. She sees my mom every day, there is at least one of my 2 sisters, one of my 2 cousins or me, who are all in our 15 to 25 coming by to eat with her in the week. She lost all her friends, all the family that she grew up with, but she is so grateful to be with us, she loves us all and is a kind person to everybody, this is what preserved her.. that, and a glass of white wine every day as she says. She was born in 1926, just like monroe, and got her first tv to watch the crowning of queen Elisabeth II in 1952.

"Do not be afraid of getting older for it is a privilege denied to many"

Thanks to the caregiver here, and to all caregivers, for doing this necessary and decent and underpaid work. You make all the difference.

I’m 32, saved this video years ago and it popped back up on my feed. Watch it again. This time I immediately went out and bought his two books. I’m honored to house them on my bookshelf. I’ll read them over and over for years to come. Rest in peace sir, and thanks for the knowledge.

The grandson did a good job making this documentary. Knowing his grandfather is an accomplished philosopher and author, it is meaningful to record his final days. Touching and a sad sense of peace. True love❤ he missed his life-long companion. “We worked together. Traveled together.” A dignified gentleman and scholar🎉

I think his mental acuity at his age is the most impressive thing

I was taking care of an old lady, who always forgets that her husband died and starts crying whenever she realizes. I never know what to say but cry with her.

"Half of me is gone”. Those words hit close to home. I lost my identical twin brother unexpectedly three years ago at 51 yeas old, almost half the age of this lonely man. To say we were close doesn't even remotely tell the story, there are no words to describe us. My heart hurts, from losing my twin brother and for this man..

Herbert Fingarette - Born: 20 January 1921, Brooklyn, New York; Died: 2 November 2018 (age 97 years), Berkeley, California. RIP.

Being a 17 year old kid seeing this makes me think I've got time, but just like this older man, he too believed he once had time to figure it all out. And yet with 97 years old he didn't even figure himself out.

I just love that this video is made by his grandson..

In other words…..it doesn’t matter how old you are you never understand death. Always remember that you aren’t the first to die and you’ll be just fine. Remember you are not special, maybe no more special than a leaf that dies. You will be alive again and you may never actually die. I believe we all will be just fine. God put bad people on this earth to give us something to complain about, to fear, to make us stronger and to give us something to do. You didn’t ask for this life, you just came into it. No guilt necessary just do as much as you can today and when you wake up tomorrow repeat! I love you all.

As someone who just turned 21, I don't think I ever thought about death or even considered it as a possibility. It never even crossed my mind that I could die or even get old. I mean, I knew that it would happen but it all seemed so far away. Something like this gives you a new perspective on life.

After coming to terms with cancer and the fact that I'm leaving soon , I've never been so content because there's nothing left to fear !

My father told me just before he passed”Don’t worry about dying.Dying is easy,Living is hard.I find comfort in that because my father would not lie to me.He said that for a reason.

‘I still want to hang around’ what a lovely soul

I believe it is important to be "death ready". House that is cleaned of clutter, main floor bedroom and handicap access bath, paper work/trust/will/"play book" completed, living within a short distance to healthcare, and a plan B if you are struck with some horrible illness. Don't leave or be a burden on your kids/family.

"Her absence has been to me, for a number of years now... has been a presence." Only a philosopher could figure out how to express that so accurately in words.

After 97 years, he is still trying to figure his life out. That says alot.

This intimate video drew me in like a magnet. My mom passed away recently at 92 and I was wanting to see if I could glimpse some of her last thoughts and feelings. It did but then it also opened up in my 73 year old person fears of future loneliness, incapacity and vulnerability. This then made me think that it is time for me to give service to others who are in need while I still can. For sure this will raise the quality of my life now, something I will be able to contemplate with pride and pleasure when I am 92. Thank you for this touching, human video.

Humans are the only creatures on earth that are aware of our mortality. It is a difficult thing to live with because we all strive for meaning in life. I am 79 years old, and I still struggle with these questions and fears that have been with me since I was young.

My wife's grandad was 96. In one of his talks with me he said he loved life, but all his friends were gone. He had family who loved him but no one he could cuss around or share a bawdy joke. He burried all 6 of his sons and two of 6 daughters. Fought in the south pacific during WW2. Grew tomatoes and chillies. Loved baseball and shaved himself every day, including the day he died. Ate lunch, was watching a baseball game on TV and at 4:30 PM when his daughter went to give him a cup of coffee, he was gone. Between when she asked him if he wanted one and preparing it, he left. I always believe he was one of the rare one who died with a satisfied mind.

The ability to think is both a curse and a blessing at the same time.

I’m 18 and I’m still very young, all though I feel old sometimes. I do, though I do unstand that this feeling isn’t the same as being 70 years old. The feeling that I’m trying to express is the change from being very young to young. For the first 16 years of my life, everything was fun and easy. My parents fed me, dressed me, brought me everywhere I needed or wanted to go, I did not have to think about anything in life. Slowly, while in high school I started te learn how to do all those things by myself. Meeting new people, sharing new experiences and developing passion for certain things you enjoy doing. My parents give me the best I could wish for, I’m grateful for them. I was truly happy and have never been hurt. My friends are always there for me, we had fun always and there were never bad times. One day, first thing in the morning at school I heard a good friend of mine died in a accident. Since that moment I know what pain is, I know that it won’t be fun always, I know that the joy and the feeling of “not knowing what pain is so you can’t be afraid of it” exists and could return at any moment. And that feeling, that hurts me. I would love to go back to when I wasn’t aware of any pain. Pain that others have to endure, pain that makes others feel pain or having to endure pain yourself. And now for the first time in my life, I’m starting to love someone other than family. Which is difficult but truly amazing though I’m probably naïve to believe that it will last forever. I do love her though. And she says de loves me. Probably we don’t even know what it means, but I still feel like saying it to her. You can regret things of be afraid of what’s coming towards you. But this video made me realize that you should pause sometimes to question yourself if something has to change to make yourself happier. I’d made me realize to look at that tree.

I asked my grandfather if he had any friends? In his old age he was always alone. His answer was "Yes"." I have three friends". The refrigerator, television, and my bed". When he died there were 500 people at his funeral. I miss him so much .

“When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so at the end, your're the one who is smiling and everyone else is crying.”

Just lost my mom to cancer, your grandfathers experience helped me understand there is no understanding sometimes, you just go on with that feeling and questions as you get older. When you lose someone close to you, you naturally what answers, but sometimes there are no answers. Thank you!

It’s great to have old people around, there is a deep meaning in having them around, having opportunity to talk to them and listen their stories and take care of them like we care about children. I think old people and children are the most interesting age groups to talk to. Both groups have wisdom. It’s a blessing to have them.

When I was in my twenties, I used to visit a woman who was 102. She was born in 1889, and her clearest memories were from around 1900-1910. She lived alone in the home she had shared with her husband who died almost 50 years before. Ida Gruel told me many fascinating stories, but I quickly realized that living to be very old was not something to aspire to. She had outlived everyone she ever knew, including radio personalities and other contemporaries. She was a time traveler who, like Mr Fingarette, was just waiting to say goodbye.

My grandmother said: “ every morning I ask the reflection in the mirror, who are you? Yesterday the reflection was a 20 year old woman.....now the reflection is 80 years old, but inside I am still 20 years.”

I think that, regardless of whether you believe you pass on and exist as a soul, or you believe nothing survives after death, or if you have a different belief- regardless, you spent this entire life building this person that you currently are. You had experiences and feelings that cannot ever be replicated in any sense of the word. You cannot become this exact same person with the exact same opinions and experiences no matter how hard you tried. And there is something very beautiful in this. So it's sad that you die, not because death is something to be afraid of, but because you spent your entire existence as this person, only to say goodbye at the end of it all and finish their story. It's the same feeling many people have when they read a good book, nervous that there's only a few chapters left, wondering how it ends and yet not quite ready to read the last line. It's inherently the greed of humans to strive further that also humbles us on our deathbeds. We will always want more, more time, resources, chances.... and that is why we fear death. Not because it's something terrible, but because it's final.

My father died when he was 70. I will always remember him telling me "I look in the mirror and think, 'Who is this old man?' I don't feel old in my head....I still feel the same in my head as I did when I was 20"

Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody thinks they will.

Life is both meaningless and the most meaningful thing at the same time.

there's something both disconcerting and comforting about a 97 year old philosopher with no answer to the question of existence

He has been blessed with intellect, curiosity, industry. I actually read one of his books long ago without knowing anything much about him. A part of him is gone. Profound his reflection on the absence of his wife being a presence. So very hard to live without one's special person, whether parent, child, or life companion.

He died a few months after completing this film. His work was done and he was ready to go.

"I still find that I am, in many ways, a puzzle to myself." That makes me feel a little better about not having all the answers.

I'm 80, and astonished to be 80. I had not planned for this. My energy levels are not what they used to be, but things that I previously thought important were actually inconsequential. People are not judging your failures, because they are worrying about how you are judging their own failures. Beyond that small nugget of wisdom, you are on your own.

I am now 72 and my most cherished memories are of the conversations that I had with my elderly Grandparents, who weren't all that elderly at the time, but had lived lives of quiet desperation themselves. They are my model for how it is done to this day. If there has been dignity in your life, then there is dignity in your death and the circle of life is complete. As we have accepted life, so must we accept our death, as inevitable and largely without consequence - as simply what Is. Then live wisely as an observer of the lives of others. Equanimity - becomes us - life becomes us - death becomes us -struggling against what "Is" does not become us. Drama does not become us. One challenge will overcome us. Acceptance becomes us. And life departs us. And so it goes for all of us. Be at peace with the facts of life itself.

"Find your grandparents or someone of age Pay some respects for the path that they paved To life they were dedicated Now, that should be celebrated" - Joseph, Tyler. "Neon Gravestones"

I’ve just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Oddly, this video makes me feel better.

I remember a few months ago I was 35, now I'm 63. Time pass's faster then I ever imagined.

This is one of the best videos you'll ever see on UKposts.

Watched this a few times over the last few years from the ages of 17-19 as I embark on my journey to be a Philosopher and a young man. Each time is just as touching. Some of these comments bring a tear and smile to my face.

My neighbor across the hallway is 97 years old. his wife passed away several years ago. He often sits in the building breezeway, looking at the street. not until a couple of months ago did I know he is the reason why all the plants on our floor are alive.

Rest in Peace, Herbert Fingarette. I didn't know he had already died two years ago.

All man will experience death, no one knew when it will be and how it will be. And this old gentleman makes me appreciate things because there will be time that you will not be ever see it again, such as simple thing like seeing falling leaves. Though you're not here anymore and you will be not seeing this message, you're a great man Mr. Herbert. Thank you.

As a young philosopher who thinks quite a lot about these bigger questions, this video was enlightning and soooo great! I love to use philosophy to make myself and others remember about the actually important things in life. Makes you appreciate the smaller things ;)

I suggest we all befriend an elderly person and help guide them through their final years...we might learn a thing or two.

My fiance was killed in a car accident that we were both in on the 18th of December. We met when we were both at our lowest in life. We saved each other, and never even fought. It was this surreal dream of reality. We spent every minute together, and shes gone now. I'm picking off the last of my scabs as I write this. Didnt even get a broken bone. Just glass in my hand and cuts on my legs. I've been trying so hard to understand. But theres nothing to understand. I can relate so well to this man in his loss.

I'm 37 years young right now. There's a lot to say, and nothing really to say after having watched this. Right now, I can't stop crying. I don't know that means. I guess I wasn't as ready to deal with this as I thought. I know I'm making it a point to call my people, whoever would be glad to call themselves "my" people...and even a few who wouldn't be so proud. I think I will revisit this video later. Maybe I'll be more ready, then, to share my complicated thoughts and emotions about it. For now, at least, life goes on. I can't thank you enough, Mr. Herbert, for sharing the end of yours with us. RIP

God bless this wonderful man. He missed his dear wife for sure 😢

A philosopher takes 97 years to realise that he knows precisely nothing.

Herbert Fingarette died in 2018. Months after filming this documentary. Rest in peace.

What a beautiful, sad, sweet and well-produced film. Such an obvious labor of love and affection - I was not surprised to see it was filmed by Herbert’s grandson. I was, however, surprised to hear Herbert, a philosopher, believed that when we die there is … nothing. And that even the question of “what is the point of life” is, in itself, pointless. Herbert died shortly after this film was made - I hope he then discovered that there was indeed a life beyond and that his pain, infirmities and sadness were replaced by peace, joy and a reunion with his beloved wife. I wish he could tell us. ❤️

we're very aware that you existed in this world herbert fingarette. i will never forget you.

The way you treat your elders today. Is the way you will be treated when you are amongst the elders. Respect your elders.

One of the worst curses of aging is a mind that is still “young” in a body that is increasingly deteriorating.

This is an amazing movie … thanks for sharing all these memories and ideas from your grandparent who had definitely a very special mind … I will keep his words with me 🙏🏽

A heartwarming and sensitive short film about a remarkable person and the great challenges of life. Thank you and Chapeau!

My grandpa said to me on his death bed: "don't be afraid of dying , be afraid of not living life the best you can. Everyone dies , but not everyone truly lives. " This is all the motivation I've ever needed 🙌

Seeing him cry, especially over his wife of 70 years is just heart smashing.

God bless you Professor! Very sweet and sad video at the same time. Thanks a lot! The video allowed me to remember my father who died at 87 with infinite tenderness and love. Mom died at 79 and the loss of your wife also made me understand the importance of a beloved mother in life. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Thanks for making this video, this video reminded me how precious our life is and how we can appreciate things that we are surrounded of rather than complaining about those things which we don't have.

“Many people have asked what is the meaning of life. That answer is simple. It is whatever happens to prevent one, in any given moment, from killing themselves.” -Albert Camus

Death is a matter of perspective. To a third person, death is the end of one person. To the experiencer, death is the very end of the universe.

he knows it now, I'm happy for him

One of the best video on the internet thank u

I was with my 97 year old father at the time of his death. He was not sad or lonely. Family and friends never left his side. He passed at home as his wish. He life filled with dignity and great acceptance. No meds. He lived the last few months with laughter and never complained of pain or sorrow. His life was magic, filled with generosity, kindness, love of creating a beautiful environment. Love. His memory guides me thru my time.🦋💙❤️🌺

That woman helping him is an HCA (home care aid) let's give a round of appreciation to the HCAs in the world helping our elderly. 👏👏👏

What a beautiful and enriching experience must've been for both Herbert and his grandson to document these profound conversations about life and its unavoidable end. May we the young learn the wisdom of the old.

What a lovely man. He finally has all the answers, reconnected with his loved ones, lost all fear. Better late than never! and remember... the best is yet to come!

His willingness to let us see his infirmity, indignities, and grief somehow made him seem more powerful, dignified, and transcendent. I’m glad he did this and I’m glad I spent the time.

"It will happen to all of us that one day you'll be tapped on the shoulder and told -- not just that the party's over -- but slightly worse: the party's going on, and you have to leave. That's the reflection, I think, that most upsets people about their demise." -- Christopher Hitchens

Bravo for the honesty.

Oh my word, thank you for sharing this with us…. Deeply touching…. I hope there is more, we somehow squander everything… be at peace friend…

I'm not sure if it's worse to see someone who's "gone" mentally or to see someone who's all there and trying to come to terms with dying.

"Her absence has been a presence." So beautifully said.

Profoundly touching and what a beautiful homage to what seems to have been a bright mind and fine human being. Congratulations to the producers of this video.

What a wonderful piece of depth and realness that only one that has gone through such things can even talk about.

I'm not concerned about dying, I'm concerned about not living.

Our elders deserve much attention. Their stories are invaluable.

This is so touching. Thank you for sharing 🎉

An amazing film to reflect on life! Who we have been, what we have done, what we do, what it is about to come, who we will become near the end of our life and so forth. I was just in awe watching this soul-touching film! As a Professor in Environmental Sciences with 36 years of serving I have been asking myself those questions in the film, when to retire, what to do then and so on. This video toched me deeply. Thanks for posting it! My thoughts go to Prof. Herbert Fingarette´s family members. RIP Dr. Fingarette. Thanks to his grandson, Andrew Hasse and all the production behind! Marvelous!

I found "the point of it all", for me. I'm 75 and have been dealing with cancer for the past twenty years, and have taken the time to question "What's the point?" I have observed almost everyone has inherited a few obvious challenges, and some not so obvious , , , weaknesses such as depression, boarder line personality disorder, bipolar, selfishness, diabetes, tendency to be fat, or a thousand other physical or mental ailments. Everyone! So my challenge, my 'reason for being' is to learn to deal with my personal challenges. No one else has my DNA nor my experiences, and we can all say that. Every day I contemplate what I should do to be a better person in spite of the package I carry. Given my condition, what can I do every day, every hour, to be a positive influence on someone else, lighten their burden, make them smile, teach a skill to a grand child, help an injured animal, whatever. That, for me, is the point of it all. I hope that helps you.

"I don't know" and "I'm scared" are never answers to be ashamed of. Thank you Herbert Fingarette for a view into a life well lived.

My elderly upstairs neighbor just passed away. I really enjoyed talking to him and miss him. It makes me sad thinking about how all of his memories and experiences died with him. Existence is subjective; we all get something different out of it.

The point is that you belong with us here in our shared world. Your spirit lifts us all. Thank you for sharing that with us in all the moments you have.

Herbert dies on November 2, 2018. He was such an enduring man. Thanks for putting this on UKposts.

I don't know how to feel about the fact that this man has over 7 decades of life more than me and still grapples with the same issues. I thought I would figure my shit out eventually 💀

He truly had me until the rundown of his life’s works. Wishing him all of the empathy he bestowed upon others.