The Wooden Sword is one of the worst weapons in Skyrim. It’s not really even a weapon at all, Wooden Swords are toys meant to be given as a gift to adopted children, it's a toothpick on steroids, it’s so worthless that your bare hands do more damage. You’re better off using nothing at all than the Wooden Sword. So… Can You Beat Skyrim With Only A Wooden Sword?
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Can You Beat Skyrim With Only A Wooden Sword? (in text form)
I wasn’t lying in the intro. Unarmed attacks do 4 damage unless you’re a Khajit or Lizard, then they do 10, an iron dagger’s also a 4, but the wooden sword is sitting rock solid at a very impressive 2 damage per swing. Only the Fork is considered more worthless from the standpoint of damage, and monetary value. While the Fork has the advantage of being a fork, the wooden sword’s biggest advantage is being available in abundance. Wooden Swords can be bought from general merchants, found as random loot, and can be witnessed inside the hall for honorable orphans. Alternatively, they can be stolen from a cat’s hidden pocket. There’s a hidden chest tucked away by the Mineshaft in Dawnstar which contains all Ahkari’s wares. To abuse the exploit that resets her inventory, she needs to be in town, but to rob her blind it wouldn’t really make sense for her to know you’re there. Or, to take it a set further, it wouldn’t make sense for you to know where she it. To immediately get an overpowered Wooden Sword, borrow the enchanted weapons and armor, strip them of their most important merits, take one of the soul gems you stole from Akhari, slap it in the Wooden Sword with the enchantment of your choice and like magic you’ve got stick that does ludicrous amounts of damage.
With a most impressive stick, I alerted the Jarl of the dragon in Whiterun, took a peak at what lurks beneath the court wizard, sold him my children’s clothing, and set off for Bleak Falls Barrow on Legendary Difficulty. For those of you who had your legencherries popped by a wooden sword like I did, I’ll explain what Legendary difficulty does because I’d never played with such an OP stick before. Legendary difficulty makes NPCs take 1/4 as much damage as they would on Adept which would’ve been a big enough of a deal for me to play on as it is, and also makes the player take 3 times as much damage. Do the math, Legendary makes Skyrim 12 times harder, negating the positive side effects of imbuing a piece of wood with the soul of a snowman. The Widowed Frostbite Spider killed me half a dozen times despite my best efforts to avoid her. She made peace with the Draugr in her own way and came out the other side of the triple bladed swing trap a stronger spider than before. Only by cracking Skyrim back down to Adept, chugging potions, and saving my level up for a moment of introspection could I survive in any meaningful way against 3 of the most basic, uninspired Draugr this barrow had to offer. The Draugr Overlord, a single target, wasn’t as much of a struggle to kill. As usual, returning the Dragonstone advanced the story enough to kick the cats into gear. They’re at Dawnstar, the real game can begin. Up to this point, everything’s been pretty conventional.