Trump Jury Selection Woes | Presidential Hot Dog Eating Contest | Drunk Vultures Rescued

  Переглядів 2,112,890

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

15 днів тому

The judge in Trump’s hush money trial is finding it hard to keep personal information about jurors from leaking out, a new poll shows President Biden trailing his rival by double digits in a hot dog eating contest, and workers at a Connecticut bird sanctuary rescued two vultures who got intoxicated after dumpster diving.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertUKposts
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on X: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

КОМЕНТАРІ: 2 700
@tdsoldier3198
@tdsoldier3198 13 днів тому
Being a juror in this case would be cool but it would also be pretty scary too. I hope all the jurors are kept safe and protected and I hope anyone who tries to intimidate them is arrested.
@RevLeigh55
@RevLeigh55 13 днів тому
I would not be intimidated by trump if I were on the jury. However, I would never be chosen, because I could not be impartial.
@Pixie449
@Pixie449 13 днів тому
I wouldn’t be afraid of Trump but some of his supporters are not all mentally stable.
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 13 днів тому
I'm still worried about the fact that this is a Jury trial. What do you think the chances are that he has already paid-off and threatened the jury members. What are the chances that not even one of these jurors is fox "news" fan.
@8arrows
@8arrows 13 днів тому
I wouldn’t want to sit on the jury. As a Pawnee. I don’t trust any politician. We have 532 worth of historical proof. I know a lot of natives that have no idea who Trummkopf is. Because they’re not on the grid. There are also homesteaders, “mountain men”. Hermits, etc. Who have no idea what the media said about Trummkopf. Untainted juror prospects.
@ag4allgood
@ag4allgood 13 днів тому
@@Pixie449 What do you mean ONLY some ? Mentally unstable is a cult qualification !
@garygoodrich7495
@garygoodrich7495 13 днів тому
These jurors' identities need to be protected at all costs. Even letting out descriptions of their interests and looks should not be allowed.
@MrGeldhart
@MrGeldhart 12 днів тому
Juror #1 -> A person Juror #2 -> A person Thats all the public needs to know
@Drew63
@Drew63 12 днів тому
Yeah these people are helping Trump big time honestly
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 12 днів тому
I expected that type of behavior from NY Post, or Fox News. But NYT is choosing profit over the safety of those jurors.
@leifharmsen
@leifharmsen 12 днів тому
Shame on the NYT for reporting ANYTHING about the jurours in this case!
@kingayy9267
@kingayy9267 12 днів тому
Agreed. Why must we know anything about them? They didn't volunteer to have their lives/identities exposed in any way by performing their civic duty.
@AC3handle
@AC3handle 12 днів тому
There were a BUNCH of media outlets who let details out.
@igorschmidlapp6987
@igorschmidlapp6987 10 днів тому
@@AC3handle That's because it's "media" now, not responsible journalism...
@mehere8038
@mehere8038 10 днів тому
I agree! Interests like that should absolutely be off limits! Now those are reported, people in those circles will have it on their mind & if movements of someone in one of their clubs changes, the more extreme are likely to think they're on the jury & follow them on a weekday morning to confirm it! Actually very easy for someone who knows them to some extent to identify from that info! & the hobbies listed are ones mostly done by right leaning people. Really, really dumb info to release!
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 9 днів тому
100% It was very sleazy. I doubt they'll stop. They love making money too much.
@bcb7443
@bcb7443 12 днів тому
Protect the jurors and witnesses!!
@jkap34
@jkap34 13 днів тому
I always enjoy that he puts his imaginary props away. Leaves less for the crew to clean up.
@ramonaholmes617
@ramonaholmes617 13 днів тому
Yes, a thoughtful and funny boss
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
They once did a little web short on where the imaginary props are stored backstage. Would love to see it again.
@alexpadi6464
@alexpadi6464 12 днів тому
I miss Jon Baptiste's little piano accentuations when Stephen puts away the imaginary props
@electricsheep1277
@electricsheep1277 11 днів тому
We all know where they go, but the biggest question is: Where do they come from?
@trinidadinternational
@trinidadinternational 10 днів тому
It's subtle and hilarious
@toddmoll4801
@toddmoll4801 13 днів тому
You, Mr. Colbert, are a much needed breath of truth. Thank you for your continuing service.
@tpad6
@tpad6 13 днів тому
He's been doing great this year!
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 13 днів тому
I'm still worried about the fact that this is a Jury trial. What do you think the chances are that he has already paid-off and threatened the jury members. What are the chances that not even one of these jurors is fox "news" fan.
@notthisbutthat
@notthisbutthat 13 днів тому
He lied though it was not a vulture driving, it is a turkey!!!
@namastezen3300
@namastezen3300 13 днів тому
Stephen is great (but don't leave out the writers; they are great)
@marcokoonings2179
@marcokoonings2179 13 днів тому
He always was also at Epstein’s island
@MatthewPettyST1300
@MatthewPettyST1300 12 днів тому
That Lindsey Graham burn was one of the best I've heard about him. I liked the fact his name came at the end so it caught me off guard !
@natsune09
@natsune09 12 днів тому
It would be really funny if Stephen Colbert was summoned for jury duty for the Trump trial. Talk about Awwwwwkward moment in the court when Colbert walks in. Or the funniness of the judge asking him if he can be impartial. "No I can't your honor. But this would give me years worth of material for my show. For the sake of the laughs, let me sit as a juror!"
@cat-.-
@cat-.- 11 днів тому
He would be immediately impeached by the defense lawyers.
@susanbengston3208
@susanbengston3208 10 днів тому
@@cat-.-😂
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 9 днів тому
I think he could stay impartial. Ironically, enough.
@jmac5937
@jmac5937 6 днів тому
Yeah, nobody cares about this trial but far left wingers...and the deep state that's terrified of Trump's second term.
@docjoe86
@docjoe86 13 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="573">9:33</a> That’s not a vulture driving, that’s definitely a turkey.
@SweetTreat-wl2yl
@SweetTreat-wl2yl 13 днів тому
Yep, that's Tom.
@azeziktomi7119
@azeziktomi7119 13 днів тому
I haven't seen an insult so unfairly directed at birds in a long time. That is a TURKEY sir!
@karenneill9109
@karenneill9109 13 днів тому
I mean, UBird has a reputation to uphold! They wouldn’t let their drivers be vultures!!
@blackbeerd
@blackbeerd 13 днів тому
would be hilarious if they release a correction on this
@francescaa8331
@francescaa8331 13 днів тому
Definitely Tom, yes.
@aggressiveattitudeera887
@aggressiveattitudeera887 13 днів тому
That Lindsey Graham joke was savage!
@israelcm7246
@israelcm7246 13 днів тому
Savage, yes, but Lindsey had it coming.
@teamvlcn6820
@teamvlcn6820 13 днів тому
And accurate.
@janicebunch7599
@janicebunch7599 13 днів тому
Ms Lindsey would sit ,stay, and shake on that one!
@user-yy4jo9pk2b
@user-yy4jo9pk2b 13 днів тому
So is Lindsay Graham ( MAGA savage ).😝
@bunyipdragon9499
@bunyipdragon9499 13 днів тому
Lynsey will definitely roll over 😂
@sparkythancztwise
@sparkythancztwise 11 днів тому
Correction Stephen: <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="567">9:27</a> - <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="576">9:36</a> The driver is a turkey. I'm no ornithologist, but I'm not a bird-brain either. It's pretty obvious. Take a gander again. And I'm not suggesting you steal geese.
@cindersuzie
@cindersuzie 12 днів тому
If you want to see giant pumpkins being rowed, just come to Oregon in October. We have had the West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta here for more than 20 years.
@AnthonyOMulligan-yv9cg
@AnthonyOMulligan-yv9cg 11 днів тому
That sounds far too exciting for me
@emilyviehland3544
@emilyviehland3544 11 днів тому
Oregon isn't in my plans for this year, but maybe some other time! How hard is it to become a participant? When Pittsburgh had these races, there was a lottery to get in.
@camelshit446
@camelshit446 13 днів тому
This feels like the first, *_real_* step toward holding defendant trump accountable. And may *_real_* accountability finally happen. In the not too distant future, please.
@ff-cq5hh
@ff-cq5hh 13 днів тому
Based on nothing
@BuildinWings
@BuildinWings 13 днів тому
Next Sunday, AD?
@PoopSocksShitShow
@PoopSocksShitShow 13 днів тому
@@ff-cq5hh Unlike the "nothing" based on your feelings of the stolen election or the "nothing" to impeach Biden. Lie more, Its all you got.
@TheUluxian
@TheUluxian 13 днів тому
@@ff-cq5hh You kiss your mother with those morals?
@cheeririnaldo435
@cheeririnaldo435 13 днів тому
I'll believe it when I see it.
@wisconsinfarmer4742
@wisconsinfarmer4742 13 днів тому
Jury needs protection as in any crime family prosecution.
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 12 днів тому
please write "mob" when you mean it!
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 9 днів тому
Yes
@kingace6186
@kingace6186 9 днів тому
@@chenzen1578 ?
@wisconsinfarmer4742
@wisconsinfarmer4742 9 днів тому
@@kingace6186 chenzen is right. He is always right. He hires the best people.
@jacenty1339
@jacenty1339 12 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="196">3:16</a> This is comedic gold, thank you, Stephen. Greetings from Poland 🇵🇱
@United-News
@United-News 11 днів тому
🤣
@samuela-aegisdottir
@samuela-aegisdottir 11 днів тому
I am so relieved that Poland has a better government now, but it seems very difficult for the Tusk's government to fix the democratic backsliding that the previous PiS government commited. And not only because Duda, the current president, is from PiS. Some changes are very difficult to reverse. One more reason to hope that Trump will loose the election, because the damage PiS made, it made only to Poland (and to a lesser extend to EU). Whereas the damage Trump made and can made in the future is damage not only to US, but to the entire world. And not everything is posible to reverse, for example the cancelation of the Iran deal is disasterous to this day.
@id10t98
@id10t98 12 днів тому
I had a plum tree that squirrels would get drunk eating every late fall season. Great shows watching them.
@SpencerWilliamsIV
@SpencerWilliamsIV 13 днів тому
Birds getting drunk on fermented berries happens more often than you’d think
@8arrows
@8arrows 13 днів тому
So do most mammals
@francescaa8331
@francescaa8331 13 днів тому
Yes. It's pretty common.
@ramonaholmes617
@ramonaholmes617 13 днів тому
Yeah, me too.😅😅😂😂
@cheeseschrist2303
@cheeseschrist2303 13 днів тому
How would you know what I think?
@gerryboudreaultboudreault2608
@gerryboudreaultboudreault2608 13 днів тому
Also, Horses get drunk on ripe apples
@martusialuba
@martusialuba 13 днів тому
Colbert, we have to rely on you to give us the truth about this disaster. Thank you!!!! You’re doing a service to this country like no other!!!
@TheUberjammer
@TheUberjammer 13 днів тому
Aw, come on - I'm sure the man made it out of his pumpkin and back to shore eventually.
@roni6215
@roni6215 12 днів тому
And if maga takes over the presidency , I'm afraid he will fall off a tall building.
@leviashanken2506
@leviashanken2506 12 днів тому
Lol! ​@@TheUberjammer
@oldones59
@oldones59 9 днів тому
Stormy Daniel's is a tough, well-spoken lady. She's going to make Trump's lawyers look like fools, even though she's a witness.
@marmac7619
@marmac7619 12 днів тому
How would my sanity ever survive all this in-sanity, sans Stephen Colbert?!!?
@jmac5937
@jmac5937 6 днів тому
You don't realize that it's Colbert and his ilk making you crazy in the first place. Nobody cares about this trial but far left wing extremists and the deep state.
@RevCeleste
@RevCeleste 13 днів тому
They're absolutely needs to be a gag order on releasing any info about any of the jurors. And Jesse Watters needs to be charged with jury tampering
@maplebones
@maplebones 12 днів тому
He only reported publicly available information. Your beef is with the court which released the information.
@itspersonal3351
@itspersonal3351 12 днів тому
Trump added onto that watters “quote” That wasn’t a verbatim statement. Watters should definitely be charged with jury tampering and intimidation. Trump violated the gag order. AGAIN. In my view, it seems Watters was attempting to send a message to Maga, to lie to get on the jury? The DA is the party in the case who removed a juror after discovering he had been arrested in the 90s for tearing up a political poster.
@itspersonal3351
@itspersonal3351 12 днів тому
I agree. Watters attempted to intimidate jurors and it worked. 🤬 Dump actually added onto Watters statement. It wasn’t a exact quote so dump violated the gag order AGAIN. His attorney lied to the judge claiming it was a repost. It wasn’t verbatim even though he put it in quotes.
@TheGeosto
@TheGeosto 12 днів тому
@@cufflink9558 He is that self- satisfied smirking Fox News jackass. He used to work for Bill O’Reilly before Bill O’Reilly was let go for the sex stuff.
@catmomjewett
@catmomjewett 12 днів тому
Jury tampering, being an a33hole and pretending to have a mother. 🤯
@bhambhole
@bhambhole 13 днів тому
The writing in this episode was different than normal and i really enjoyed it. The humor was more witty and obscure. Shout out to the team who created this monologue. Stay weird! ❤
@kikivolauvent1
@kikivolauvent1 12 днів тому
…. And stay wired too 😉
@emilyviehland3544
@emilyviehland3544 12 днів тому
I have raced in a giant pumpkin before! It's AWESOME!!! Alas, the annual Pittsburgh Giant Pumpkin Festival no longer includes a "boating" event. But it was EPIC during the few years that they included it.
@robertcowan7610
@robertcowan7610 12 днів тому
FYI: @cindersuzie says "Come to Oregon in October where they have the West Coast Giant Pumpkin Regatta every year tor the last 20 years"! It's in the comment section after your own comment. Thought you might like to know!
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567
@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 12 днів тому
Finding your fun where we can indeed, thanks Stephen 💜💕💜💕
@Opus313
@Opus313 13 днів тому
It's somewhat reassuring that Donnie isn't getting much of a crowd outside the court... that would bode well for the future...
@camelshit446
@camelshit446 13 днів тому
It is, isn't it 🤞
@thelonesomefisherman7425
@thelonesomefisherman7425 13 днів тому
I was thinking the same thing. Glad I'm not the only one.
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 13 днів тому
Let's hope it isn't deliberate to lull us into a false sense of security...
@carlynfry
@carlynfry 13 днів тому
it is in Manhattan… not many Trumpers there….
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 13 днів тому
I'm still worried about the fact that this is a Jury trial. What do you think the chances are that he has already paid-off and threatened the jury members. What are the chances that not even one of these jurors is a fox "news" fan.
@sshaw4429
@sshaw4429 13 днів тому
Former President Act………WHY WHY is he allowed to meet with leaders of other countries?
@tootz1950
@tootz1950 13 днів тому
Democracy. Freedom. You know, those things Republicans hate and we're trying to save. At least some of us, I hope to hell that in November more want Democracy.
@davewitter6565
@davewitter6565 13 днів тому
Violation of the Logan Act.
@EinsteinsHair
@EinsteinsHair 13 днів тому
I vaguely recall ... (looks it up). The Logan Act criminalizes unauthorized citizens negotiating with foreign countries that are having a dispute with the U.S. I guess we are not having a dispute with any of them. I remember this law because it came up when Jesse Jackson was running for president in 1984. Syria had shot down and captured an American pilot. It may have been technically illegal for him to negotiate the man's release, and other foreign visits, but he was successful, and no action was taken against him.
@alexeyman7301
@alexeyman7301 13 днів тому
I mean, anyone is allowed to meet with anyone else - you could meet with them too of you could convince them to show up
@kathleenaustin327
@kathleenaustin327 13 днів тому
Leaders can meet with whoever they want! Poland should be ashamed for meeting with Trump!!! Maybe he wants funding for Ukraine! Getting him to talk to his cult!
@jamesfloyd6075
@jamesfloyd6075 11 днів тому
I think Colbert broke the record for most traditional folk songs sung in an opening monologue
@KnockOut242
@KnockOut242 12 днів тому
Never fight uphill, me boys 😂😂😂
@TheStormyDebris
@TheStormyDebris 13 днів тому
Hat's off to the comedy writers.....this was stellar peak perfection!!!! Loved every minute of this....🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@brandonwomack7379
@brandonwomack7379 12 днів тому
I feel the opposite. The writers are trash. I watch this show daily and Kimmel as well. Kimmel has the better writers by far.
@phylis3917
@phylis3917 12 днів тому
👍🏿
@fuchurZero
@fuchurZero 12 днів тому
​@@brandonwomack7379I cant stand any other late night show host. Stephen Colberts writer were on fire - I laughed out loud
@brandonwomack7379
@brandonwomack7379 12 днів тому
@fuchurZero OK that's fine. 1 thing I know colbert doesn't have is real in time feuds. Mike Lindell and Donald vs Kimmel is the best TV of my lifetime.
@anwatts1
@anwatts1 13 днів тому
One of the missions my Grandfather had with the Australian army in New Guinea during WWII was to make friendly contact with the head hunting cannibal tribes and, believe it or not, convince them that Japanese soldiers tasted better than the Americans and Australians. Yes, he was actually successful at this, so hearing that old Joe's uncle was turned into a tasty local dish isn't far fetched at all.
@samuela-aegisdottir
@samuela-aegisdottir 11 днів тому
My great-uncle emigrated from Czechoslovakia to Australia in 1948 and served some time as a doctor at Papua New Guinea. There were definitelly cannibals back then. He wasn't eaten, but some native people wanted him to marry one very young teenage girl of theirs. He did not want to marry a child, but he had to decline the offer very carefully not to make them offended. It was a very delicate situation, because the locals considered them being engaged due to some gestures he accidentally had made while in a car with that child.
@paulwarner2432
@paulwarner2432 9 днів тому
Yeah it felt like an executive producer stepped in to be like, we gotta throw a Biden joke in there to appear even-keel, but Biden's explanation seemed perfectly reasonable about what could have happened.
@namcat53
@namcat53 12 днів тому
The jurors' personal information must be kept secret and the defendant must be jailed for every contempt charge like any citizen.
@ajsanime
@ajsanime 12 днів тому
LMBO! "There's a vulture driving it too" with a pic of what is clearly a turkey! Come on, gotta call him out on that one.
@Tadicuslegion78
@Tadicuslegion78 13 днів тому
Place your bets, how toxic is this trial gonna get before it’s over
@wheressteve
@wheressteve 13 днів тому
All of the available toxic ?
@SonicSlicer
@SonicSlicer 13 днів тому
Chernobyl has entered the chat.
@ArnoutCW
@ArnoutCW 13 днів тому
Do we quantify that in the number of death threats?
@exomancer3632
@exomancer3632 13 днів тому
Probably around Ricin level, maybe Anthrax.
@librarianseth5572
@librarianseth5572 13 днів тому
We'll need new words for it
@carolwarren2020
@carolwarren2020 13 днів тому
He should be on trial for treason!!!! The whole country is in jeopardy because of him! So freaking sick of him receiving special treatment
@silentmajority8365
@silentmajority8365 13 днів тому
Read the definition of treason DUH
@Kevmaster2000
@Kevmaster2000 13 днів тому
@@silentmajority8365”The crime of betraying one’s country, especially by attempting to kill the sovereign or overthrow the government.”
@nagranoth_
@nagranoth_ 13 днів тому
this is just one of many trials...
@JC-tp5lz
@JC-tp5lz 12 днів тому
​@@silentmajority8365 Read the definitions of "critical thinking and deductive reasoning". 🤨
@annnee6818
@annnee6818 12 днів тому
​@@silentmajority8365 looks like YOU need to read it
@presbyterosBassI
@presbyterosBassI 11 днів тому
The coolest "person" in Australia, is Bandit, Bluey's dad.
@robertawalsh2995
@robertawalsh2995 12 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="572">9:32</a> Vultures can't drive. That's a turkey driving the UBIRD.
@davidcoombes-pearce4533
@davidcoombes-pearce4533 13 днів тому
As an Australian. Please, NY judicial system save the world from Trump. This man is so stupid and so so so dangerous. See, I can repeat a word 3 time's too.
@krysmorrison3896
@krysmorrison3896 13 днів тому
As a fellow Australian, I’m horrified America is imploding
@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398
@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398 13 днів тому
Aussie here, i am terrified as well.
@MrMisuma
@MrMisuma 13 днів тому
Dane here. And I share your view.
@silentmajority8365
@silentmajority8365 13 днів тому
@@krysmorrison3896 Worry about your tiny drunken population
@silentmajority8365
@silentmajority8365 13 днів тому
@@wholefoodplantbasedmama5398 Terrified of what? What did he do in his former term that made you cry? None of the current wars were going on during Trump
@BooksForever
@BooksForever 13 днів тому
How is Trump not running afoul of the Logan Act when he meets with these various foreign leaders?
@WyvernYT
@WyvernYT 12 днів тому
If their governments are not considered "hostile" to the United States, no. After that, there's endless room for quibbling about whether whatever they said constituted negotiation.
@dafttool
@dafttool 12 днів тому
I agree. Trump is acting as a shadow president, telling the House exactly what actions he wants them to do, from impeaching the present president under trumped up charges/insinuations, to not voting on border security for his campaign, or for foreign aid to Ukraine, to aid his master Putin.
@cdngrrleh
@cdngrrleh 12 днів тому
I do not like Trump, but Obama meets with other world leaders on the regular.
@cmdraftbrn
@cmdraftbrn 12 днів тому
what you think congress is suddenly get its head out of its ass and hold dur fuhrer accountable?
@jdushoff
@jdushoff 10 днів тому
He's probably not, but it also doesn't matter. He's either getting elected, or going down. A few more crimes here or there doesn't even matter.
@blueseruser
@blueseruser 12 днів тому
Stephen is a treat, every night, and delivers a dose of humor to the news we all really need, in these troubled political times…!
@peterfedun-sk3jt
@peterfedun-sk3jt 12 днів тому
You and your writers are having a heyday with this election & trial! Good on ya!!!
@CaptainCologne
@CaptainCologne 13 днів тому
Trump’s response to the sleeping allegations: “Fake Snooze!”
@tootz1950
@tootz1950 13 днів тому
That was Jimmy Kimmel last night. You're so good maybe you should write comedy for him.
@ag4allgood
@ag4allgood 13 днів тому
@@tootz1950 Trump is DOZO ! Orange face & white hands !
@CaptainCologne
@CaptainCologne 13 днів тому
@@tootz1950 Are you sure that was on Kimmel last night? I watched it and didn’t hear that.
@janicebunch7599
@janicebunch7599 13 днів тому
@@CaptainCologne Ebenezer Snooze
@verityundefinedhunt8085
@verityundefinedhunt8085 13 днів тому
😂🤣
@joyousdog1
@joyousdog1 13 днів тому
I think this monologue was custom-written for pun-loving music teachers with every old ditty ever written rattling around in their heads. I am one of those teachers. Duda indeed. 😁
@clickrick
@clickrick 12 днів тому
Absolutely. All the Duda day!
@maargenbx1454
@maargenbx1454 12 днів тому
Wow - Stephen’s monologue was a musical tonight! Started off with ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game” then “99 Bottles of Beer”. When he got to “Camptown Ladies” he had 8 minutes left, so I was chanting “one more, one more!” My partner just laughed at me, but we high fived when Stephen threw in “Drunken Sailor” for the finish. That was fun! 😂
@kngus
@kngus 12 днів тому
SUCH GOOD JOKES today
@44yvo
@44yvo 13 днів тому
"Unlimited strikes against jurors" would mean that Trump could postpone the trial forever ...🙄
@user-ej9ng2hx6u
@user-ej9ng2hx6u 13 днів тому
But he'd have to sit there in perpetuity. Which would be almost as good as prison.
@mickie5282
@mickie5282 13 днів тому
Yeah, like everything else, he didn't really think that idea through.
@schmonzo42
@schmonzo42 13 днів тому
He actually can kick unlimited jurors. He just needs proof that they shouldn’t be on the jury. He can only dismiss 10 jurors just because of his gut feeling.
@kickazz999
@kickazz999 13 днів тому
Siberian gulag Gutmo Wardens apartment
@nagranoth_
@nagranoth_ 13 днів тому
which is exactly his goal: postpone until it's only people who will support him.
@pampayne4482
@pampayne4482 13 днів тому
"All the doo daa day?" How did he keep a straight face? 🤣🤣🤣
@ericsingloud
@ericsingloud 11 днів тому
I loved all the singing in this monologue! AWESOME!
@lenordbrazil9580
@lenordbrazil9580 12 днів тому
Thank you jurrors for your service
@jimmyguitar2933
@jimmyguitar2933 13 днів тому
That poll makes me mad & sad. When did this become such an unserious country?
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
I don't have any evidence for this, but my gut says these things are concocted specifically to support trump.
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 12 днів тому
thanks for that thought. This election does not only determine who's gonna be the next POTUS, but also if he is going to support Ukraine, Israel, Women's (reproductive) rights, controlled immigration, fighting climate change instead of ignoring it, separation of church and state and above all DEMOCRACY. And they made a poll about hot dogs and diapers. Sadly, no laws against idiocy.
@firstlast-tp7zo
@firstlast-tp7zo 12 днів тому
Since Republicans. Every lunatic is embraced by them for their votes. They can’t win with their policies.
@user-my7uf2gi2y
@user-my7uf2gi2y 11 днів тому
It became unserious: 2020 pandemic and the country never fully recovered from #45
@1020LAStep
@1020LAStep 12 днів тому
Since Trump is a New Yorker I am glad you guys are the first ones kicking his butt.
@JHNoble
@JHNoble 12 днів тому
even back in 2016, Trump lost NY, NJ & New England by a landslide, because they already knew him. 😎
@lisagulick4144
@lisagulick4144 12 днів тому
Well, T****'s got a pretty big butt - it's going to take all 9 million New Yorkers to kick it properly. Hey, would somebody please give an extra kick on my behalf?
@maargenbx1454
@maargenbx1454 11 днів тому
I’m embarrassed, actually. If we hadn’t let him get away with so much crap for decades we would have saved the country a lot of grief. I guess we didn’t take him seriously here for so long that it never occurred to us the rest of the country didn’t know him like we did. We’re so sorry 😞
@JHNoble
@JHNoble 11 днів тому
@@maargenbx1454 I think "we" tried, but who listens to the northeast, really? 🤔 Trump, like all good conmen, was new, shiny and showy.
@lisagulick4144
@lisagulick4144 10 днів тому
@@maargenbx1454 I'm from the Midwest. I knew he was a walking sphincter when the Ivana divorce hit the national press. In fact, when he announced he was running, that was my first thought: If he would shaft his own wife, he would shaft the country. Those who cannot be trusted in small things have no business with a big thing like the Presidency!
@jopowers5006
@jopowers5006 12 днів тому
Louis Cato! What a doll. I love his laugh.
@terryturner2818
@terryturner2818 12 днів тому
Just so you know…Re: headhunters/cannibals in New Guinea. My dad, my uncle Joe, and my uncle Benny were all stationed in the South Pacific during World War II and all were pilots. Uncle Benny told us about flying missions around New Guinea. There were Japanese soldiers in one section, another part was controlled by Americans, BUT! There was another part that was uncleared Jungle where headhuntertribes lived. Pilots needed to stay out of that area- or you might become dinner.
@litterbox2010
@litterbox2010 13 днів тому
It's so funny how he's actually so dumb that he thinks he can insist the JUDGE recuse himself because the JUDGE is too close to the case hes JUDGING. lmaoooo. He's like, 5. Mentally.
@israelcm7246
@israelcm7246 13 днів тому
His too stupidly, stupid.
@wellendowedplatypus9024
@wellendowedplatypus9024 12 днів тому
"I attacked and threatened his daughter and encourage my followers to do the same, so he is no longer impartial" - like how does that work as a defense??
@frozenrose84
@frozenrose84 12 днів тому
yes. Trump is really stupid, immature and uneducated... but so many people seem to be even worse -.- sometimes it's quite hard to bear...
@Logan_Baron
@Logan_Baron 12 днів тому
I've seen sovereign citizens try a similar tactic. "I filed a suit against you (the judge) for a claim that you don't have jurisdiction to try me. Since I filed that case, it would be a conflict of interest for you, so you have to recuse yourself".
@lisagulick4144
@lisagulick4144 12 днів тому
He's never made it out of the Terrible Twos!
@JCTiggs1
@JCTiggs1 13 днів тому
"Just like bankruptcies I should have unlimited strikes!" - Trump
@emrecck
@emrecck 12 днів тому
😂
@janetw.5706
@janetw.5706 12 днів тому
Stephen, you are hilarious, as always. I laugh aloud during your monologue all the time and we all need humor nowadays, don’t we? Your writers are great and your delivery is sublime. Your show is always a highlight of the day. Keep up the wonderful work…
@xy6845
@xy6845 12 днів тому
Thanks Stephen & LSSC for always being here for us.
@alexvaraderey
@alexvaraderey 13 днів тому
A friend of mine used to be a teacher in Papua New Guinea & said that you wouldn't want to be walking outside of the town during the evening and that the natives were only one generation away from headhunting & eating people. He was there 30 years ago, so Biden's story from WW2 is certainly possible.
@susanpelletier921
@susanpelletier921 13 днів тому
I read a book about the cannibals in papau new guinea during WW2. At least one plane was forced to land there. I can't remember the name of the book.
@LazyIRanch
@LazyIRanch 13 днів тому
It's very possible. Michael Rockefeller (son of Nelson) was in New Guinea as an anthropologist and he disappeared in 1961, presumed drowned. No remains were ever found but some who know the Asmat people who live there confirmed they were cannibals and headhunters. Biden's story isn't ridiculous, it could have happened and that's what he said. He didn't say it DID happen, just that it was a possibility since he was never found.
@kevinriddell2105
@kevinriddell2105 13 днів тому
I lived in PNG in 1976-1977. Cannibalism was only practised by a certain tribe in the highlands back then. Can't remember the name of the tribe. Started with a K. Apparently there is still cannibalism happening there. But on a small scale compared to WW2 times
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
Yes, but it is a bit unseemly to tell that story, imo. Otoh, since the populace seems to enjoy the unseemly so much, it may be a genius move.
@twonumber22
@twonumber22 12 днів тому
Definitely possible. There were reports of American GI's doing the same when they were starving.
@alex-top
@alex-top 13 днів тому
As a Pole I really appreciate the Duda joke 😂 we have a website in Poland that counts down for him to finally retire 🎉
@lynn9822
@lynn9822 12 днів тому
Waiting for him to retire, doo-dah, doo-dah
@kn9ioutom
@kn9ioutom 10 днів тому
From Hush Money TO INSURRECTION !
@billeem5151
@billeem5151 12 днів тому
THE JURY SHOULD GET BODY GUARDS! 😑
@weronikatarczaowicz9414
@weronikatarczaowicz9414 13 днів тому
I feel so bad and so embarassed that the president of my country kissed a ring in a Trump tower saying Poles love Trump. 🙈 This is total BS. We do not. As we don't love or respect Duda, too.
@intelligencia-co2fu
@intelligencia-co2fu 12 днів тому
NOBODY in Europe loves Trump. And Kaczynski's puppet _biro_ Duda's a&& will hopefully be kicked out next year. Greetings from 🇳🇱
@DouglasRichardson-er4ky
@DouglasRichardson-er4ky 12 днів тому
Don't worry we still love Poland 🇵🇱 best wishes from Democrats here in the USA but specifically here in BLUE 💙 ARIZONA 🌵!!! 🤠🫵🏼🌵🐎🇺🇸💙🇵🇱
@wyskass861
@wyskass861 12 днів тому
Well, MAGA and PiS are equivalent fascist parties for morons, so it makes sense.
@camelshit446
@camelshit446 13 днів тому
I think that most of my fellow onlookers from abroad will agree that the goings-on in USA as of these last several years, has been not merely like a sick reality show, but more like a downright surreality show. A very exhausting one at that. Please, just put that trump away already. We know it won't be completely over when (no "if" allowed here!) that happens. But with the main-culprit and his co-conspirators & enablers securely locked away (and SHUT up!), your country will at least have a much needed chance to heal some. And it WILL be an enormous relief for us all. I just want to point out, that of course I know that most of my fellow World citizens inside of USA's borders, feel similarly about these bizarre & surreal goings-on, with the added stress, naturally, of living there. And I think many of you have been surprised by how... I'm gonna stick with the word 'personal' (for a variety of reasons, one being that trump essentially is an existential threat), so many of us outside of your borders are taking it.
@ebethlouise2201
@ebethlouise2201 13 днів тому
We feel you
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
Thank you!
@thegunslinger1363
@thegunslinger1363 12 днів тому
Likewise from Ireland 🇮🇪.
@agiraffe3673
@agiraffe3673 12 днів тому
If you think it’s exhausting for you guys, think about how exhausting it is for us here living through it 😣
@auntbeth6794
@auntbeth6794 12 днів тому
Not at all surprised. Just horribly and sickeningly mortified by him and his followers. Apologies to all.
@TOPA808
@TOPA808 12 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="573">9:33</a> THAT is a turkey driving my friend! And they are known to be VERY capable drivers!
@Kim-ng7sl
@Kim-ng7sl 12 днів тому
Right on Colber! Live you❤🎉!
@ronnyshama
@ronnyshama 13 днів тому
The doo-da jokes were absolutely hilarious! Thank you sir for the good laugh
@jtysar
@jtysar 12 днів тому
Duda went to the States with bipartisan support in Poland to lobby for Ukraine aid and to maintain good relations with a person who will potentially soon hold our country's fate in his hands in the face of war. Thanks for reducing it to absurdity and being condescending and irreverent about it, as Americans always were towards Poland. Some allies you are.
@grizzlynad
@grizzlynad 13 днів тому
From someone else’s post, “it’s up to you New York, New York” 🤪 but seriously, WTF, newspapers, etc, should be writing 0 about jurors 🙄😤🤬
@rachelbonnar
@rachelbonnar 12 днів тому
That was a Tom turkey driving the UBird. You can see the tail feathers splayed out, and he has that red thing that hangs over his beak.
@dorrolorro
@dorrolorro 12 днів тому
Wasn't the Ubird driven by a turkey? The vulture's gonna eat it up!
@Spinnykarks-yz5iw
@Spinnykarks-yz5iw 12 днів тому
Turkey Vulture
@danielx1224
@danielx1224 13 днів тому
I did not see the "all the doo da day" coming, and laughed way too hard.
@jimwilliams3816
@jimwilliams3816 12 днів тому
I saw the potential as soon as he pronounced the guy’s name, but wasn’t sure they would dare to go there. My question: is Yankee Doodle still widely known among younger generations, or was this a joke for those of us of A Certain Age?
@marcwright8395
@marcwright8395 13 днів тому
Here in Nova Scotia Canada, we have a giant pumpkin contest every fall, and part of that festival is a pumpkin boat race
@rex-racer
@rex-racer 13 днів тому
We have a similar one in Maine too!
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
Never heard of it, but such a fabulous idea! I was struck by the clarity of the water in that clip. Beautiful!
@jackleduc3233
@jackleduc3233 12 днів тому
I am surprised that my pillow guy didn't make a fancy pillow for trump so he could be cozy.
@Thomas-gz4ky
@Thomas-gz4ky 12 днів тому
Speaking of hot dog eating contest. Mike Johnson was the latest Republican to visit Trump in Florida.
@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj
@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj 13 днів тому
An unrestricted free press is necessary to a free society. That said, the press needs to learn the boundary between what is news and what irresponsible endangerment.
@itsROMPERS...
@itsROMPERS... 13 днів тому
They know and they're going for endangerment.
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
Fox has been on the side of endangerment since inception.
@BillClarke-cn5lf
@BillClarke-cn5lf 12 днів тому
There used to be serious professional standards in journalism. This was before morons and crockpots tuned into podcasts which only tell them what they want to hear in order to get money and ratings.
@MrHaighahatta
@MrHaighahatta 12 днів тому
@@itsROMPERS... If a juror or their family member ends up harmed as a result, their response will be "c'est la guerre," thoughts and prayers, and what can we broadcast and exploit about the alternate juror?
@itsROMPERS...
@itsROMPERS... 12 днів тому
@@MrHaighahatta it's truly frightening. They didn't care who they sacrifice in their no holds barred campaign to install a fascist dictator of America.
@marisabenson1222
@marisabenson1222 13 днів тому
Support democracies support Ukraine
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 12 днів тому
You mean: "Democracies support Ukraine" as statement? Because it shows where Reputincans stand!
@frozenrose84
@frozenrose84 12 днів тому
down with Putin, Trump, MBS, Xi... too many to list.. -.-
@Playwright62
@Playwright62 12 днів тому
🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 Slava Ukrainii
@judithmura495
@judithmura495 11 днів тому
@@frozenrose84 yes! Down with poootin, tRumpo mosscow marj GanGreene, And all Fascist Leaders!
@anthonynattoo1935
@anthonynattoo1935 12 днів тому
Juriors should Sue Fox News (FIX News) for outing them.
@robinfletcher6718
@robinfletcher6718 9 днів тому
you are brilliant and humane. so rare. thank you !
@NewMessage
@NewMessage 13 днів тому
I remember way back when the idea of Donnie in a criminal courtroom was a desperate, but waning hope.... It's been a good week.
@bobf5360
@bobf5360 13 днів тому
we're all doomed, because he will just fundraise off his felonies.
@marianne1156
@marianne1156 13 днів тому
We're getting closer to " it's good to be alive " days again. Make America Good Again
@wonderrob3225
@wonderrob3225 13 днів тому
It reminds of what Gandalf says "there never was much of a hope , only a fools hope..
13 днів тому
That is the reason I don't want him jailed. If the judge were to *Lock Him Up* he would fundraise millions more. He knows that and has told his CULT that he is going to prison for them & they are stupid enough to believe him.
@kingjamos2422
@kingjamos2422 13 днів тому
@@marianne1156 When were those? I only remember the "Well... I'm not dead..." days.
@polyglot12
@polyglot12 13 днів тому
"The city that never sleeps, unless you're Donald Trump in a courtroom!"😂
@jannetteberends8730
@jannetteberends8730 13 днів тому
The city that makes your dreams come true
@jessehudgins6066
@jessehudgins6066 13 днів тому
I literally just hear that part! Crazy Coincidence!!!
@kingjamos2422
@kingjamos2422 13 днів тому
@@jannetteberends8730 Oh, dear god... I usually have nightmares!
@sodrav
@sodrav 12 днів тому
BEST comment 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
@randyasuarez
@randyasuarez 12 днів тому
This actually implied that Donald Trump sleeps. Joke didn't land but he tried.
@martinapassanante12
@martinapassanante12 12 днів тому
One of the best monologues ever!!
@mamawray
@mamawray 10 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="576">9:36</a> Tsk tsk! That's not a vulture driving that car! Never thought Stephen woul fail to identify Wild Turkey.
@landismcgauhey7217
@landismcgauhey7217 13 днів тому
Private citizens-- of whom the former President now is-- cannot so much as seem to conduct foreign policy. So, I say, there is due cause to suspect the former President of violating this rule, in light of the former President meeting with a sitting president of another country.
@mammawlee
@mammawlee 12 днів тому
He should have been in prison many years ago.
@jasonjimerson7046
@jasonjimerson7046 13 днів тому
The Drunken Vulture... I think I found the name to the inn in my new D&D campaign.
@ashwinvenkat950
@ashwinvenkat950 10 днів тому
That Lindsay Graham joke was so brilliant (and accurate). 😂😂
@Meridian83West
@Meridian83West 11 днів тому
The bit about the vultures reminded me of a story I read years ago about 911 operators in a city in West Virginia taking calls from people being attacked by racoons and the people were worried they might be rabid. After some investigation by animal control and the local police it was found that the racoons in question weren't rabid but had been eating fermented fruit from a nearby crabapple tree. Turns out racoons are mean drunks!
@jjwubs1638
@jjwubs1638 13 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="564">9:24</a> Mr Colbert, that is not a vulture behind the wheel, that's a turkey. They are commonly known to be excellent chauffeurs, so no reason to panic.
@Kirstinevad
@Kirstinevad 12 днів тому
This gave me a good laugh. 👍
@orghanikproductions9293
@orghanikproductions9293 13 днів тому
@ <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="565">9:25</a> - THAT'S A TURKEY DRIVING, NOT A VULTRE. C'MON MY GUY!
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 12 днів тому
yeah, a turkey driving an uber, makes sense
@garymacy1723
@garymacy1723 12 днів тому
oh it goes deeper than that, the wing the vulture is using to hail the turkey-operated taxi cab is indeed a turkey wing rather than a vulture wing haha
@cmorris9494
@cmorris9494 12 днів тому
Corrections is a seth meyer(s) thing.
@orghanikproductions9293
@orghanikproductions9293 12 днів тому
@@garymacy1723 😂😆🤣
@medcoxo
@medcoxo 8 днів тому
I am impressed about him knowing 'Squirtle'!!
@thomaszitting2672
@thomaszitting2672 12 днів тому
Thanks for the 😂 makes this whole mess we find ourselves in manageable
@MagusFyre
@MagusFyre 13 днів тому
For a guy that gets away with everything and is seemingly immune to going to jail, of course he would think there are unlimited strikes.
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 12 днів тому
"When your rich and famous, they let you do it" - Giant Pumpkin.
@jiblitin1520
@jiblitin1520 12 днів тому
That's so dumb. If you have unlimited strikes that means you could just say you are using 1 million strikes and the case would be over.
@DouglasRichardson-er4ky
@DouglasRichardson-er4ky 12 днів тому
... his silver 🥄 can't be seen anymore it is fully rammed up Cheetolini's 🍑 🤷🏻‍♂️💙🇺🇸💙🇺🇸💙🇺🇸
@iamboborilee
@iamboborilee 12 днів тому
@@chenzen1578 that's exactly what it is
@michaelgreenwood3413
@michaelgreenwood3413 12 днів тому
Because he's an idiot?
@pamforti7919
@pamforti7919 13 днів тому
Maybe Trump got his famous quote from the Irish juror " don't fight up hill me boys"
@tonimartin8371
@tonimartin8371 12 днів тому
His picture book is so precious 💞
@GaryALucas
@GaryALucas 9 днів тому
Threatening officials, lawyers and jurors in a criminal trial makes them accomplices if the suspect is guilty. If the suspect is innocent they have nothing to worry about. strange
@DanBuell
@DanBuell 13 днів тому
Kudos to whomever wrote the monologue tonight. My box score has you fairly behind a couple of the others of late but tonight, Mr. Colbert, you were the winner! Congratulations and more importantly, thank you.
@mickk7489
@mickk7489 13 днів тому
New Guinea story would be true - my uncle was up in the highlands in 1946 clearing airfields and he told me about the tribes. They didn't do it for food - it was about totally vanquishing their enemies.
@Blackmark52
@Blackmark52 12 днів тому
"my uncle was up in the highlands in 1946" Ask him if he saw it himself. No, but he knows someone who did right? I think investigations into claims like this turn out to be stories about cannibals from their enemies rather than truthful accounts of the people.
@mickk7489
@mickk7489 12 днів тому
@@Blackmark52 Were you there too? Do a bit of checking - it was documented as occurring up till the 1960s and done for many reasons including not wanting deceased loved ones to be eaten by worms.
@Blackmark52
@Blackmark52 12 днів тому
@@mickk7489 "it was documented" Where? Bigfoot has been documented. I could point you to all sorts of documentaries that I don't believe. I remain skeptical until I see the credentials of those making the claims.
@bast713
@bast713 12 днів тому
The cannibalistic tribe in New Guinea is documented to eat the remains of their loved ones as a way to keep them with them. So yes, they are people, but I don't think it was really outsiders.
@Blackmark52
@Blackmark52 12 днів тому
@@bast713 "as a way to keep them with them" Hasn't that been debunked?
@nannettehuffman8397
@nannettehuffman8397 12 днів тому
SC - you are the BEST. Give ur crew a raise.
@debbymost8548
@debbymost8548 4 дні тому
Saw a previous video of Trump dancing on stage, fists and buttocks clenched, now knowing of his uncontrollable incontentence, his dance moves make perfect sense!!
@kevin07817
@kevin07817 13 днів тому
Fun fact: Guinea pigs are named for a region in the Andes; not Papua New Guinea, or any other country with Guinea in its name
@docjoe86
@docjoe86 13 днів тому
Guinea pigs are from South America, but there is no region called Guinea in South America. They were called Guinea pigs to make them sound exotic.
@mr.joshua6818
@mr.joshua6818 13 днів тому
Okay, now I'm confused again. WHERE do I go to get some guinea pig?​@@docjoe86
@chenzen1578
@chenzen1578 12 днів тому
They are called pigs for the squieking sounds they made, but they are rodent's. Maybe yno one cares, but now you know.
@victoriabaker4400
@victoriabaker4400 12 днів тому
Knowing that guinea pigs are from South America is why that joke was funny, for me. It was a complete non sequitur.
@DrownedInExile
@DrownedInExile 13 днів тому
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="556">9:16</a> "Ubird" Ow my sides. I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything! LMAO!!!
@r.d.whitaker5787
@r.d.whitaker5787 12 днів тому
He didn't say his uncle got devoured by cannibals. Only that there were cannibals living there.
@MsEagle20
@MsEagle20 11 днів тому
This was a good set. Go Stephen!
Trump Judge: Jail May Be Necessary | Students Should Be Allowed To Protest | Blankenship For Senate
11:03
Kristi Noem, Puppy Killer | Did Trump Fart In Court? | Why Pecker Wouldn’t Pay Stormy Daniels
10:49
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Переглядів 1,7 млн
Первая поломка Scirocco! Балацко попал на мотор.
1:13:12
BRAWLER MUTATIONS WILL BREAK THE GAME! - Brawl Talk
09:34
Brawl Stars
Переглядів 25 млн
UFOs: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
26:18
LastWeekTonight
Переглядів 3,9 млн
Meanwhile… Amazon Cat Returned | Gull Screeching Champion | Vegan Blue Cheese Beats Dairy
6:55
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Переглядів 395 тис.
Sound Of Science: California Fish Orgy | How Fruit Flies Walk | STI Detection App
6:04
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Переглядів 366 тис.
Trump SINKS his campaign with disastrous confession
12:59
Brian Tyler Cohen
Переглядів 331 тис.
Спасательный трап за 30.000$! 😱
0:23
Взрывная История
Переглядів 8 млн
Няня спасла жизнь ребенку  😢😭 #сериал #топ
0:48
Топ по Ивановым
Переглядів 9 млн
ВИРУСНЫЕ ВИДЕО / кот - коробка 😂
0:33
Светлый Voiceover
Переглядів 2,3 млн