Dr Gabor Maté | Don’t Ignore Your Own Needs (Part 3)

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How To Academy Mindset

How To Academy Mindset

День тому

We tend to believe that normality equals health. Yet what is the norm in the Western world? Joining us live on stage in London - in conversation with filmmaker and author David Malone - the renowned physician, addiction expert and author Gabor Maté dissects the underlying causes of this malaise - physical and emotional, and connects the dots between our personal suffering and the pressures of modern-day living.
Illness and trauma are defining how we live. 45% of Europeans suffer high blood pressure, and nearly 70% of Americans take at least one prescription drug.
Over four decades of clinical experience, Dr Gabor Maté has found that the common definition of ‘normal’ is false: virtually all disease is actually a natural reflection of life in an abnormal culture, as we grow further and further apart from our true selves.
Filled with stories of people in the grip of illness or in the triumphant wake of recovery, this life-affirming talk from the beloved physician and author will show how true health is possible - if we are willing to embrace authenticity above social expectations.
Gabor Maté is a retired physician, bestselling author and renowned speaker, highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, stress and childhood development. He has written four bestselling books published in nearly thirty languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. He has been awarded the Order of Canada (his country’s equivalent of the MBE) and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver, for his ground-breaking medical work and writing.
David Malone is a filmmaker and TV presenter whose documentaries include Testing God, Soul Searching (both Channel 4), Dangerous Knowledge and The Secret Life of Waves (both BBC). He is the author of The Debt Generation.

КОМЕНТАРІ: 360
@lillumination5388
@lillumination5388 Рік тому
I got so sucked into the needs of my parents, society pressure to be formatted, then husband, kids, career so-to-speak... that after leaving the abusive spouse, I was so estranged from myself that it took me 2 years to start shopping food for my own needs, for example. For I lost myself in that abyss of being a mother Teresa.
@newflower8974
@newflower8974 Рік тому
🙏🏽
@richardsmith6083
@richardsmith6083 Рік тому
Good to have you back!😊
@jasmineglein3721
@jasmineglein3721 Рік тому
I am not Mother Teresa but I was on my way being ONE
@hortensejones4050
@hortensejones4050 Рік тому
My parents passed away already 20 years ago (I was their caretaker for decades); my husband suddenly died a few years ago . I’m in my 60’s & just beginning to discover what I like-food, colors, styles, activities-I didn’t even know that I didn’t know almost anything about myself! Extremely embarrassed but grateful for the opportunity!
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 Рік тому
I feel dead now. Like a zombie. No life. No family. No friends. No community. Not one thing left .
@Cherabreena
@Cherabreena Рік тому
I find this to be absolutely true. I spent the majority of my life being a people pleaser and my health suffered greatly. It wasn’t until I entered my thirties and finally learned to set boundaries and leave every toxic relation behind, that my health started flourishing. Especially after leaving my last relationship of 4+ years where I’d started suffering from anxiety after being traumatized by the person’s actions. My blood pressure was high despite eating super healthy. Sleep was terrible. Crying at night. My face broke out constantly. Migraines started becoming frequent (never suffered from that before) sudden ear/hearing problems that no doctors could explain. My period went haywire. Lots of physical symptoms. A month after I left and went no contact with this person all of those symptoms disappeared. ALL OF THEM! AFTER 1 MONTH!! That’s when I learned the true meaning of the word ‘toxic’ when it comes to human interactions. Choose your company CAREFULLY!!
@ColargolPL
@ColargolPL 9 місяців тому
Lucky you to have learned it so EARLY on! No irony.
@Cherabreena
@Cherabreena 7 місяців тому
@@ColargolPL Thank you. I wish I had learned earlier, but here we are! Lots of lessons learned, lots of inner work and change of environment.
@MissNamaSlay
@MissNamaSlay Рік тому
Our families sometimes are the cause of most our sufferings and we .. never blame them . We are wiser.. we are more compassionate and we suffer . I’m so grateful for having meditation .. yoga .. the intellect to see exactly what I need to do , for my adult peace . Generation breakers have the toughest times but we can prevail if we change our minds ! It’s never to late to be better , to keep trying and to want more !
@LOVE_N_F
@LOVE_N_F Рік тому
😢😢😢
@MayaLove1976
@MayaLove1976 Рік тому
Yes I’m the generational breaker, healing many generations of martyrdom and being responsible for self not others……
@vanessablanc2074
@vanessablanc2074 Рік тому
I love the term you used, “generation breakers”!
@fredericotacio3473
@fredericotacio3473 6 місяців тому
I'm also a generational breaker, but I wanted a bit of peace.
@emiirozenn
@emiirozenn 6 місяців тому
🙏❤️❤️
@rachelsspaceyogabreathsoun7954
@rachelsspaceyogabreathsoun7954 Рік тому
Gabor is soo on point. My mother has MS and I observed she had no self esteem and put other people needs before herself. I repeated the cycle which was also wrapped in child trauma of needed to tend my parents needs to keep myself safe. My nervous system was soo deregulated I spent years in fight mode then to freeze and collapse. I have many symptoms that align with an auto immune disease. It’s a minute by minute process to put myself and my needs first. I’m reformed people pleaser and in a way the symptoms that I experience are a gift and stop me from doing to much and not living from an authentic place. I have found yoga particularly restorative , meditation, IFS, reiki, sound healing vagus nerve activation, compassion practices, talk therapy, somatic experiencing, building community connection with other women that is heart based. I know it possible to heal and I am soo grateful to Gabor for he’s incredible work.
@RobynBelleHorton
@RobynBelleHorton Рік тому
❤️
@JGalegria
@JGalegria 17 днів тому
Yes IFS! It works!
@chadmichael_
@chadmichael_ Рік тому
My Rheumatoid Arthritis (which I was diagnosed with at 30) was the cure. It was my body metaphorically trying to tell me something. I am 32 and off all medications. I sometimes take a low dose of prednisone every once in awhile but I don’t make a big deal anymore about a minor flare up. I just think, “what stresses did I let into my life without standing up for my own needs” and I move on. I’m getting better at that everyday with practice. My rheumatologist is perplexed and annoyed by me. You’d think he’d be happy for me. Same with my primary care physician.
@clarabelle777
@clarabelle777 Рік тому
Pharma doesn’t make money off fit and healthy people, or people with a mindset like yours 💪
@questioneverything7582
@questioneverything7582 Рік тому
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@cherylbailey4803
@cherylbailey4803 Рік тому
You go Chad! What a great story, thank you for sharing. As we all start following our gut again we will all heal!
@chadmichael_
@chadmichael_ Рік тому
@@questioneverything7582 That was actually very insightful. Thank you for sharing that. Honestly. As far as the fear campaigns being in bad faith or just out of straight up ignorance, we'll never really know but I definitely lean on the side of what my own experiences have shown me with my own health and that is, the body is trying to speak up for you. It's trying to say something. It's trying to keep you alive and if you listen closely, you can learn a lot about what it actually needs and how it can actually stay healthy. For me, it was becoming hyper aware of chronic stress and trauma triggers that make me feel in conflict or in fight or flight. Staying out of the fight or flight or away from anything that triggers it as best I can within the boundaries of my financial limitations has helped me tremendously. Its not always easy to say no to coming into work on a day I didn't want to come in when I am struggling financially but I have definitely gotten better at setting boundaries and making sure I get what I need to do my job without compromise. Things are getting better because of it. Also just becoming aware of where all these traumas and coping styles originated from so that I can get better at going against them when they let in so much stress.
@chadmichael_
@chadmichael_ Рік тому
@@cherylbailey4803 Thank you for your support.
@April-if6xo
@April-if6xo 11 місяців тому
Big Thanks!, Dr. Maté. I am almost 71 years old and recently I realized, without having watched your excellent videos, that I was lacking authenticity. I was doing everything possible and silencing myself to please my sons, big men now. I had to "cut" -"my" attachments - being a single parent since they were 6 & 7. It was not easy, but I am living in tranquility, cleaned all expectations about calls -never arrived-, a moment to see them -for what I was telling mistakenly myself that I was just breathing to have one single minute to see them again. I am free now, and probably, I have freed them as well. I am not a child, I moved to another place, and I have peace-health, hopefully in my body as in my mind. Big Thanks!, again. You are helping me to see that I made the right decision, one of the most important and tough of my life. Love 💓
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537 Рік тому
WORD. I am dealing with hoarding issues. I no longer say, "I have hoarding disorder" because I don't want to give "it" that power over me. I also no longer hate myself for the hoarding issues. They are a coping mechanism that enabled me to survive childhood trauma. And now my Inner Adult is working on helping my Inner Child heal 🙏😌💕✨
@SuperLammens
@SuperLammens Рік тому
I belief you will be successfull
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 Рік тому
May you heal .....fast🌿♥️🌿
@tracasavadogo3992
@tracasavadogo3992 Рік тому
Check out the course for Holistic Life Navigation. It’s been a game changer for me.
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537 Рік тому
@@tracasavadogo3992 Thank you for sharing that... I'll check it out!
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537
@icanletgo-recoveryfromhoar537 Рік тому
@@SuperLammens Thank you so much!
@denise2169
@denise2169 8 місяців тому
For me, I was totally alone as a child, having been bullied at school. As an adult, the only way I found some connection with other people was if I was helping them. Just this week, my face reacted by swelling, becoming red and painful, and I am feeling overwhelmed at not taking care of my own self. I must listen to my feelings and put myself first.
@MayaLove1976
@MayaLove1976 Рік тому
This was so me and I developed severe chronic fatigue and CPTSD because I wasn’t looking at it, my body basically shut down, it’s been a 9 year journey slowly healing the suffering I’ve held for others and slowly trying to believe I deserve to look after myself on all levels. It’s still difficult.
@aleynamutlu4206
@aleynamutlu4206 9 місяців тому
Who taught you to deny your own needs cause those needs made someone uncomfortable ? Your needs are valid too you are a human being. I hope you can get well soon.
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 6 місяців тому
Similar experience for different reasons.
@surpriseguest37
@surpriseguest37 9 місяців тому
I can strongly relate to this, people pleasing destroyed my life
@jas_bataille
@jas_bataille Рік тому
I'm a child cancer survivor, I was 8 years old and the tumour was supposed to take 20 years to grow. I'm also autistic - interestingly enough, autistic people tend not to say that they "have" autism, rather than it's an inextricable part of us! I didn't thought about my other diseases that way before now. I was bullied and micro-managed all my childhood and in early adulthood as well. My parents are the "nice guys" and I come from a family of people exactly like you describes. Despite my mom being into natural remedies and alternative medicine quite heavily, she keeps on radically denying any connection between body and mind and refuses to look into any implication of her actions and that of my dad on me as a child. It's been now many years and I'm tired, I've been living with chronic pain numerous conditions. The last one of them is asthma from unknown causes, I stopped breathing and I would've been dead if I was alone at home like most time. After this much time I feel like I finally have a proper answer. Thank you so much Dr!
@0123hellooooo
@0123hellooooo 10 місяців тому
Hello fellow Aspie! Take care of yourself, you are worth it!
@greenthumb8266
@greenthumb8266 10 місяців тому
♥️
@shenanklinger-fenech8205
@shenanklinger-fenech8205 Рік тому
Thank you Dr. Mate for helping me understand that taking care of my own needs is not just something I ought to try out or some new age trend. It is my biggest duty and highest priority to take care of my own needs in order to stay healthy, well balanced and able to care for others in a better way.
@stephanieluckey7825
@stephanieluckey7825 Рік тому
100%!!! If we don’t care for ourselves our loved ones will end up caring the weight!!! Only when we stand up strong can we be someone’s shoulder to lean on.
@gratefultobehere
@gratefultobehere Рік тому
Needed to hear it’s healthy to have that boundary with anger sometimes. Thank you. Was feeling guilty about exercising a healthy boundary and then it was violated so this message is medication. Healing.
@yvonneshanson1525
@yvonneshanson1525 Рік тому
Set a program where you congratulate yourself for even a small amount of anger and externalization of indignation or discomfort in any given situation, esp in front of others. Imagine yourself as a child that needs this exact reaffirmation.. do it for as long as it takes to heal yourself 🩵😊
@gratefultobehere
@gratefultobehere Рік тому
@@yvonneshanson1525 thank you. Never considered it before - mind opening.
@yvonneshanson1525
@yvonneshanson1525 Рік тому
@Chelsea Peterson happy i coiuld help a fellow survivor 😊! ..our inner child deserves her emotions to be honored to the fullest.. wishing u the best 💚
@lifeslessons9889
@lifeslessons9889 Рік тому
I adhere and gravitate to this genius… he talks such wisdom and logic. I’ve had stress in my adult life from 31- 60 . I’m left with high cholesterol, gum Disease and type two diabetes… I’m actively working on repairing myself with diabetes meds . I’m not surprised of my health issues… as a child I was constantly trying to gain love and respect..as an adult I craved love and took the wrong choices . I was widowed and pregnant at age 35 ..my entire life has been a struggle..independently.
@ekenechristyike5461
@ekenechristyike5461 Рік тому
God will stand by you and send Yelp your way IJN Amen. You are here today after all the stressful journey you've been through, you will come out on top after all said and done. I feel same too. But I try to take a day at a time...not bothering about tomorrow cos it usually stresses me the more. I'm getting better praise God 🙏
@annajones4355
@annajones4355 Рік тому
Perhaps all your health issues are due to high cortisol or cortisol resistance. I've been learning about this recently... From abusive childhood I went from one to another to another abusive relationship not knowing any better. Focusing on being the best wife, mother, daughter, friend, I didn't have a clue what my needs have been. I'm 47 and I'm learning this now. I feel like a kid, but I suppose it's never too late! ;) All my life I felt alone and in highly stressed state. Where it got me now are these two components, to bring back my cortisol to normal level (there are good videos out there on affects of chronic stress and high cortisol linked to soo many health problems) and learning about myself and taking care of my Self the way we were meant to. ❤
@tonistrother8266
@tonistrother8266 9 місяців тому
I have a high regard for Gabor Mate’s teaching. I often wonder whether he has happiness, or contentment, in his life. I wish that it be true.
@henoheno4686
@henoheno4686 Рік тому
Legend Mr mate. This man needs to be heard..
@suzanesugrue1080
@suzanesugrue1080 Рік тому
Yes, yes and yes
@cathihargaden1608
@cathihargaden1608 Рік тому
This guy is great- I’m health professional and been in thousands of homes one day I said there’s a pattern to people with certain conditions and their root was emotional- I also had a child disease I write about it like Gabor but people resist making the connection his truths expressed r wide and far reaching ❤
@gethelp6271
@gethelp6271 Рік тому
Isn't German New Medicine about this sort of concept?
@cathihargaden1608
@cathihargaden1608 Рік тому
@@gethelp6271 I don’t know but myself was a path of self discovery and u have to be prepared to be courageous brave to admit to yourself
@Jo-kh1yo
@Jo-kh1yo Рік тому
Louise Hay talked about this in her book "You can heal your life" there is a section in the book with an alphabetical list of diseases and their metaphysical causes.
@timhardman9386
@timhardman9386 Рік тому
Anger is a boundary defense. YES. It is healthy when acting as a protection system against being invaded. THANKS. What a nice way of putting it. Great. 👍🏻😉🚀
@UXtatic
@UXtatic Рік тому
So glad Maté is getting his truly proper due. Started watching him 4 years ago in the midst of a family member's cancer journey. As an observer, I saw exactly what he was saying.😔😔😔😔
@Lightseeker0009
@Lightseeker0009 15 днів тому
How we collectively needed this man to find the strength and courage to live authentically and then share that wisdom so generously with us. Thank you doctor for leading the way. SO much respect for Dr Gabor Mate- and so much more gratitude.
@saida817
@saida817 Рік тому
It’s so sad the fact that I’ve been like that unconsciously trying to please everybody not to lose connection, go out of my way to take care of others in the expense of my own, o thought that’s the only way I can be loved, after all autoimmune disorders, lots of health problems, loneliness-and friends and family doesn’t need you anymore, they got used to benefit from you and now not only they can’t benefit but also I’m in a state of need, emotional, physical, financial
@chaz7604
@chaz7604 Рік тому
I feel the same way completely ❤
@InterestedCitizen
@InterestedCitizen Рік тому
Dr. Gabor Mate is a real gift❤️
@rochellecaffee1417
@rochellecaffee1417 10 місяців тому
Jesus tells his people, “DO NOT be afraid”, 365 times in the Bible. Fear is the “bottom level” to stress. I love what you are helping people understand. Thank you.❤😊
@helenndow1101
@helenndow1101 Рік тому
I am addicted to Gabor Mate
@zenobipowell1015
@zenobipowell1015 Рік тому
Me toooooo 😍
@suzanesugrue1080
@suzanesugrue1080 Рік тому
Here, Here
@nerudaad
@nerudaad Рік тому
I hope his message is heard by as many as possible
@agalIam
@agalIam Рік тому
dr. mate has the most soothing voice
@bambina3148
@bambina3148 Рік тому
Doesn’t he though. I love to listen to him.
@mohammedf.al-ghamdi2090
@mohammedf.al-ghamdi2090 Рік тому
There is a fine line between needs and desires. Our minds should be able to detect the differences.
@marybrantly581
@marybrantly581 Рік тому
I love Gabor! His work has changed my life. What an awakening! Thank you from my whole heart!
@majagoedegebuur9451
@majagoedegebuur9451 Рік тому
Yes my to,Its wunderful.! Amazing whats happend whit me when Ise this .
@livondiramerian6999
@livondiramerian6999 Рік тому
You can't give what you don't have.
@jandrews6254
@jandrews6254 Рік тому
This realisation came to me after having flown in aircraft umpteen times and hearing the instruction to put on your own O2 mask before helping anyone else, even your child. Of course! If you don’t grab your mask and put it on, instead putting a mask on anyone else, you black out! And your usefulness ends right there. So, care for your own needs so that you be of use to others.
@timoe.7509
@timoe.7509 Рік тому
Holy moly!this must be one of the most insightful talks I've ever watched....oooor the most insightful at all
@ElizofAmerica
@ElizofAmerica Рік тому
When I’m being my authentic self people think I’m angry when I’m not just expressing my needs more
@winendesertrose
@winendesertrose 9 місяців тому
I get angry and act out if my needs are not met. Definitely taking a break from the delusional type people. I've stopped keeping my mouth shut and enabling or just stay away. Lol. Just yesterday I heard one of my clients refer to me as 'nice' yeah I'm nice to a point -just don't use me as a doormat or entertain dullusions ( anymore).
@clarabelle777
@clarabelle777 Рік тому
And this is why I cannot and will not ever accept people being labelled. How about plain old acceptance and compassion for fellow human beings, with no agenda. Bill Hicks said stop putting a price on everything, I say that includes a ‘label’ 🙏❤️
@rachelkingsley668
@rachelkingsley668 Рік тому
The Bible command is to love others as we love ourselves! So we need to love ourselves before we can love other people - that how we know how to be loving.
@sid32ful
@sid32ful 9 місяців тому
This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it ukposts.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.
@greentree730
@greentree730 Рік тому
I had arthritis in both knees, elbows, fingers, and a toe. I knew as the dr was telling me what pills to take and how to keep moving through the pain. That I would Never live with this!!! I fasted and went to a healing room a month later, some strangers prayed for me in Jesus name. I had to forgive someone as well. I walked out 30 minutes later without arthritis and have never had it again. It was a decision I made in faith, I believed in miracles. It wasn't going to be diet thing, it was going to be a completely healed thing.
@alterego7896
@alterego7896 10 місяців тому
I dont even know what I need. I was taught to be selfless. Give give give is all I know.
@62Cristoforo
@62Cristoforo Рік тому
The human species has always baffled me, since I was old enough to perceive people’s thoughts and actions. Here is a man explaining to the world, finally, the mechanism of cancer in the human body, and there’s 22 comments.
@shereenmakhanye9239
@shereenmakhanye9239 Рік тому
The mind grapples with simple information, that’s why the human suffering.
@Tammissa
@Tammissa 9 місяців тому
I was just like that. I’d feel so sorry for other’s problems that I put my own happiness and family second. It was so hard to say no. I’ve learned a lot and can say no much easier now. I learned the hard way.
@iammeallday
@iammeallday 8 місяців тому
I went into a mental health crisis chronic anxiety at the age of 38 constantly taking care of others the stress of it and demand of it was consuming it's still a struggle
@simonwinberg8604
@simonwinberg8604 Рік тому
This is my life If i dont heal myself next year it will be the end of me. Been severly depressed my whole adult life.
@galactictea
@galactictea Рік тому
check marisa peers videos on youtube
@PVVI2015
@PVVI2015 Рік тому
I understand that feeling. About 20 years ago that realization hit me when I was totally exhausted from trying to keep up with what I perceived everyone wanted of me. I wanted to curl up in a corner and just quit. It was a junction and I decided to try to dig my way out. I gradually started doing more positive things and setting some boundaries. It was hard but worth the journey. I have just recently read Dr. Mate’s books and what I have learned has given a deeper meaning to my journey. So, I encourage you not to give up. Baby steps - walks, healthy nutrition, daily steps forward in taking care of yourself make a difference. Please don’t give up. This could be your turning point❤️
@ehh227
@ehh227 Рік тому
Proven: Wim Hof method to help heal depression & anxiety. It’s a deep breathing practice & cold exposure. His wife committed suicide because she had a “mental illness” and he had to care for his kids. He then discovered what is now the WIM HOF method. He holds records for cold exposure & was studied by scientist as to how he was able to be “superhuman”. It has definitely worked for me. Hope this works for you. 🙏🏽
@LadyMarigoldWithers
@LadyMarigoldWithers Рік тому
I hope you find a way out, start small and build. Just listened to Jordan Peterson/John Delony podcast yesterday, it covered lots of different aspects of life, found it really interesting and positive so recommend. Wish you lots of luck and hope in your journey, don’t give up!
@SpecialgiftsLA
@SpecialgiftsLA Рік тому
Simonwinberg, this is a major turning point, at first each step you need to take will seem like a heavy feat..it will take abit of time at first but this is necessary for you to practise kmowing how to lead yourself to new True being of you which is healthy and stable, practise each morning and night talking lovingly and supportively to yourself when you are lying in bed and your body is supported and then have a few supportive phrases you feel help you. This will calm you. Trust the process and repeat a bit daily. Eventually the daily will become 3 times, or every 3hours or hour or every 15 minutes that you will sustain this new 'muscle'. Each small thing you incorporate 'as a habit,' or have different ones so if you don't do one you can pick from other ones, Focus on educating on healthy eating, applying it, walks to move and breathe and process thoughts constructively or just enjoy the feeling of it, sleep and hygien. You will see the changes and it will feel great. Now, only share your new found well being with anyone you can trust. No one else, and keep going. Sending you a hug. LA
@narcisismoabuso69
@narcisismoabuso69 7 місяців тому
Lucky me to have learned it so EARLY! I believe in doing good in life, and getting closer to the spirit world has helped me. I drop anything that is bad. Pretty fast. I get up and go.
@kenzielove99
@kenzielove99 Рік тому
This lecture is blowing my mind
@donnabarnes540
@donnabarnes540 Рік тому
I naturally always put others before myself and I’ve got cancer !!
@mirafilipovic5162
@mirafilipovic5162 Рік тому
My dear colleague, you are a blessing; i have just discovered your videos and love the way you explain things so that even lay people can understand! Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise!
@piperselinger9428
@piperselinger9428 Рік тому
This is all true. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease in my thirties. I am thankful because self care is now my number one priority. Our minds can convince us to keep moving forward in spite of everything but our bodies never lie to us. I grew up in a family dynamic that encouraged me to suppress my feelings and this continued into adulthood. I have no doubt this is the cause of my Hashimoto’s. I have done a lot of inner work and meditate every day. After a demanding career and having a family I can now step into part time work and take time for myself.
@tamelashafer8852
@tamelashafer8852 Рік тому
Exactly!!! Everything is energy…. Everything Thoughts, emotions, actions, sounds,…. Everything… Spell-Ing
@emersonrae905
@emersonrae905 9 місяців тому
we are so lucky to have him
@nikokisting6189
@nikokisting6189 29 днів тому
I got bullied a lot as a teenager and young adult, but I was taught that it was sinful and inappropriate to express anger over the abuse. I've now been struggling with debilitating depression and burn-out for decades. I hate and loath myself: It's as if I've internalised the world's hatred and rejection of myself. What is the way out?
@yourguidetolove7457
@yourguidetolove7457 Рік тому
Wow powerful video!! I’m definitely working on honoring my own needs first.
@richardhall5489
@richardhall5489 Рік тому
The question at the start of this video was "..how does that happen!" With reference to people who are over helpful. I found that psychologist Dr Laurence Heller's NARM model answered this question for me in terms of survival strategies. This is a compassionate way of summarising behaviour patterns that's free from labelling and pathologizing and consequently judgements and stigma. So for example if you were disempowered through trauma as a child then giving your power away to make other people happy is a perfectly legitimate short term survival strategy. It can become a problem as you get older and are unaware that you can behave any differently. My understanding is that Gabor Mate's Compassionate Inquiry approach and NARM are essentially different versions of the same thing.
@questioneverything7582
@questioneverything7582 Рік тому
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation. While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes. Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way. It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
@user-wp7zn8ii5u
@user-wp7zn8ii5u Рік тому
Excellent explanation, thank you.
@karnaud6352
@karnaud6352 Рік тому
​@@questioneverything7582I'm very sympathetic to your point but I think you will find some of the epidemiology of the spanish flu victims more complex than the gloss you have provided, and so people who are critical of your views may unfairly dismiss you generally because of this. As I understand it, the spanish flu affected and killed younger more robust people more quickly and more often than the rest, and it did so because it operated on parts of the body associated with better lung function. Just fyi as I was reading through, I'm happy to be corrected by more knowledgeable people
@Miksariana
@Miksariana Рік тому
Dr Gabor is one of its kind🙌🏻🙌🏻 yet just thinking out loud ..if we have so many cancers (epidemics of it) but environment is toxic ..does one doesn't rule out the other?
@moniqueocean
@moniqueocean Рік тому
In a way our environment is a reflection of our state of minds as humanity.. we now know the whole world is an interconnected ecosystem, this can be observed in biology, physics, chemistry and quantum physics.
@louisa777ace
@louisa777ace Рік тому
I look at it like they use bad coping mechanics to deal with the emotions Deal with the needs be authentic Disease is I'll at ease with things What things I resolved the things I had in my life loved and love me Met my needs all things changed All things change if you look after yourself
@marianasalles242
@marianasalles242 Рік тому
Amazing Dr Gabor💚✨🌎🌈🕊️🌱🙏🏻
@iamnotfabio
@iamnotfabio Рік тому
Gabor is awesome
@sassi7966
@sassi7966 Рік тому
Exactly 💯 My breakdown, chronic fatigue syndrome and mental illnesses were virtually inevitable! I didn't stand a chance from conception! And yes I have now taken responsibility for myself because I finally recognised the problem... But it seems to be too late! I can't correct things anymore! 😭
@rosemaryallen2128
@rosemaryallen2128 Рік тому
It's never too late. A big set of problems takes a big effort and a lot of time to sort out, but the answer is always to take the smallest manageable steps at a time.
@joshuablack8221
@joshuablack8221 Рік тому
Great information! Thank you for this… 🙏🏽
@carolpessin4006
@carolpessin4006 Рік тому
Thank you very much
@Henry-zp4zc
@Henry-zp4zc 9 місяців тому
What a gift ❤
@sarojanidoddapaneni9734
@sarojanidoddapaneni9734 Рік тому
Dr GABER MATE Domination Lack of Respect and Responsibility to the Fellow human being in family members of society and the institutions and honesty not hypocrisy
@robynhope219
@robynhope219 5 місяців тому
Apparently i was a smart kid...was aware of my needs and tried to fill them as best as i could in my killing environment. This made me selfish and self preserved and unable to be a parent.
@gabriellarujsz5741
@gabriellarujsz5741 10 місяців тому
Thank you ❣️ yes, big true 🙏
@jamlaw
@jamlaw Рік тому
This resonates with me. Also the conflicting message of being a saintly, giving person in society and not being selfish is hard for me to balance at times. (Not that I'm single by any means! Just the idea of being a Mother Teresa type, having compassion and love and giving to others ..)
@anniebootboot
@anniebootboot 10 місяців тому
Mind & body are inseparable. Hate to say it, but right after a 25-minute yoga session, my depressive symptoms have alleviated
@anja4740
@anja4740 Рік тому
Thank you!
@cloudsofwonder7004
@cloudsofwonder7004 Рік тому
Learning to say No to my past Sociel and Sociely imposed ways of choosing to be a yes ppl pleasing and all that entails yes the mother roll is a reality that leads our female children and or male s to get stuck in robbing us of our humanity Awarness of ourselves is totally nessasary for our physical emotional mental health 🥁🥁🥁
@saida817
@saida817 Рік тому
I can’t find or go back to my authentic me. I feel lost, uncertain, helpless
@rubytuesday7653
@rubytuesday7653 10 місяців тому
I understand....🥀
@Mandance
@Mandance Рік тому
One point I disagree on, while I do agree trauma is a big component, I think Gabor is missing the mart by not acknowledging how the food supply has heavily been degraded over time and full of chemicals, I don’t think all this chronic disease is only emotional stuff, it’s not like traumas are higher now than in previous times.
@PippiBarbieri
@PippiBarbieri Рік тому
Yea this is called wounded healer - attempting to help others in order to avoid yourself’s basic needs
@maryannestevenson5993
@maryannestevenson5993 Рік тому
Real good sensible truth
@olivermatias2349
@olivermatias2349 Рік тому
Thank you❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏☺️
@hibalimita4034
@hibalimita4034 9 місяців тому
brilliant
@avl6110
@avl6110 Рік тому
Thank you for this insightful and powerful video. Where can I find part 1 and part 2 please? Thank you 🙏
@wulu3519
@wulu3519 Рік тому
Suppressed emotion..
@62Cristoforo
@62Cristoforo Рік тому
.... suppresses the immune system
@mariadimopoulos6663
@mariadimopoulos6663 9 місяців тому
I agree absolutely
@5DNRG
@5DNRG Рік тому
As a Reiki practitioner working with cancer patients, another common trait I notice is a "fixed" personality, inflexible, stubborn and balks at self-change to the point they wont regardless of outcome. Sad to watch knowing they can heal themselves with a (simple) change of mental state as Dr Mate explains here...something many people are unable to.
@evaveegee64
@evaveegee64 10 місяців тому
Wow! You should work in the hospital!! 'Knowing they can heal themselves'?? O.M.G. Tell me where your beautiful, simple planet lies, I'm flying right over! Just wondering what your own healing strategy would be the day you get cancer and being a flexible person doesn't do the trick.
@mysecretlifeofpain
@mysecretlifeofpain Рік тому
Love to see the research though showing selfish people don’t get cancer and chronic pain/illness
@jasmineglein3721
@jasmineglein3721 Рік тому
Haha they do what they want and don't give shit what others think
@emilyb5557
@emilyb5557 Рік тому
Not sure the theory fits the higher autoimmunity rates in western cultures where women are far freer to look after own needs compared to some other regions with more traditional cultures. The Hygiene hypothesis might fit better. But I do believe in some contribution from emotional state/stress in some cases.
@Trekbikes2
@Trekbikes2 Рік тому
Hi I am having trouble hearing this talk as I have a hearing loss. If you leave the captioning function when you record it, I would be able to access it. Can you please consider making sure the caption function is on when making any new UKposts videos thank you.
@susie_q1
@susie_q1 Рік тому
Ought to explain anger vs rage as they are very different.
@TessObenauf
@TessObenauf Рік тому
Dr. Gabor does this in a video with Tim Ferriss titled Dr. Gabor Mate - The Myth of Normal, Metabolizing Anger and Rage
@alicerose9140
@alicerose9140 Рік тому
Only in degree. Rage may be the outcome of trying to suppress anger.
@stevecooper3010
@stevecooper3010 Рік тому
Here's a thought Why do we not perceive the mind and body as one entity?
@A_A_12_
@A_A_12_ Рік тому
Because it is the false dichotomy we have been taught (Culturally etc.)
@noboyavedagarbha5590
@noboyavedagarbha5590 Рік тому
Do you constantly perceive that your lungs breathe air?
@saida817
@saida817 Рік тому
That’s exactly my case
@ColargolPL
@ColargolPL 9 місяців тому
O, ghosh! Dear Academy, must your sound be so soft?? Hard to hear without headphones
@ruthgrace4965
@ruthgrace4965 10 місяців тому
How can you deal when your need is a parent to be nice to you , it seems to the only way is to be nice to them inwardly and ignore your own needs
@knowledgeberakah1728
@knowledgeberakah1728 Рік тому
I had a stroke from that n anger! After having a stroke i cut alot of people my life 2022.
@NFTeve
@NFTeve Рік тому
hello, emotions are essential, but toxins, lifestyle and just the sugar and nonfood foods that we eat, are the other causes. Electronics, disconnection to the magnetic force of the earth with plastic soled shoes. For sure, I got sick from long-term trauma~but then I got well.
@lisav9912
@lisav9912 Рік тому
Please..I blame myself for my 2 yr old daughters alopecia. Out of what I considered necessity moved my 3 children to my home state to keep them from abuse of my ex husband. Now I pray for a way to help her. I've never experienced this as a parent of 14yrs. It's only been a few months but how can I help her immune system stop attacking her hair follicles? Did I do this to her which doesn't even matter? Can I find a cure by simply appreciating her existence? I feel so helpless which also does not matter. This thing.. it's not her fault.
@emilyb5557
@emilyb5557 Рік тому
You didn't do it to her, that's victim blaming yourself, and you have taken her to safety too. Hopefully you can top up your own inner calm & that will have a positive effect on either her immunity or her way of coping x
@lisav9912
@lisav9912 Рік тому
@@emilyb5557 thank you. My Dr thinks it was her getting COVID that triggered her immune system months later. He started her on modére pure hoping for hair growth. Very kind and wise reply. I appreciate it. Afraid it might get worse cuz I'm about to go to battle with him in court. Hoping the judge sees my heart and concern in the situation.
@circleofmoonmusic9743
@circleofmoonmusic9743 Рік тому
So sad that so many people choose to worship Jordy Peterson over this guy.
@deedee9312
@deedee9312 7 місяців тому
It’s so easy to get sucked into your job and become a slave to it Forever ! Let go and take more vacations , visit family , find a hobby, etc ❤
@vasmirza3487
@vasmirza3487 Рік тому
thyroid issues too.
@Jennifer-ls5ke
@Jennifer-ls5ke 10 місяців тому
Does Antone know which of mate’s books the interviewer is referring to?
@concepcionjimenez2631
@concepcionjimenez2631 Рік тому
No entiendo todo .... Podrian traducirlo porfavor !......creo q me pierdo cosas muy valiosas.. Gracias
@maiwandpainda1815
@maiwandpainda1815 Рік тому
I understand what he is saying but what if my authentic self is not grounded, and can’t be calm when I am authentic?
@liesbethverschueren9067
@liesbethverschueren9067 11 місяців тому
But how to explain what causes severe illness in babies or toddlers?
@manaalnagori5017
@manaalnagori5017 4 дні тому
great talk !! but i was just thinking.. if suppression of emotions can lead to auto immune diseases.. shouldnt the rate of such diseases be higher in men since they undergo a lot of stress through out life but they arent exactly great at channelling them out like women are?
@bensuede3862
@bensuede3862 Рік тому
This is the type of stuff that annoys many of us. This isnt new. As a matter of fact its ancient info. It was taught as science. Many of us dont need to hear this. Just need the ones leading by force to step back or leave.
@itagraiser2274
@itagraiser2274 Рік тому
I feel that I need more guide lines .it is all true but what do you do with it
@Plund91
@Plund91 8 місяців тому
I’m sorry to say, but people pleasing behaviour has nothing to do with loving others; it has all to do with yourself, with you being liked for being a ‘good person’. All roads points towards yourself, and even though the act - externally - is pointed towards others, there is no motivation to be authentically nice to others, but only to be acknowledged and appreciated. In other words, the pleasing or act of being ‘nice’ is directly dependant on being rewarded (as you may see when they turn on you for not duplicating their ‘niceness’). This doesn’t mean you should be tough on yourself for being like that - I myself am like that. But it’s important not to cover it up like you are this amazing person who just wants the best for all others.
@stephanieeno8390
@stephanieeno8390 Рік тому
I feel lien that going to happe to me for mothers being negative to me I own my South for getting involved with negativity they were just good sales people
@jasonh.8754
@jasonh.8754 Рік тому
It's a bit late to be talking about this subject, society is doomed to fail because greedy people have exploited those at the bottom far too much, for the last 20 years caring people have been expected to destroy themselves for the benefit of society.
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