Yup🤢 he is great...

I agree. I wish I was in the same country as him to be able to have him dx and treat me and also for him to explain this dx to me family and friends.

vegasmatt129. Expressing your things doesn't mean he understands them. And Drs should be hanged for (over) (or even medicating you at all), I am so sorry about that. Although sometimes I wonder whether my variant is much better: I got shut out from medical treatment and care, deceived, neglected, robbed, mobbed, trafficked, made homeless for not being calm , normal and compliant with unnecessary drugs that harm me, but alternative, stress sleepless ,independent and traumatized. I'd advise you to get on your knees every day, starting maybe when you feel the worst, and pray your Creator for the help you need..Practise belief.I am standing alone in impossible situtauíon and state too, and shall make another effort at getting myself up from the pitch. I pray for you. .MAybe you're OK already..., 1 year after posting?

I was so happy to hear him as well

Yup !! I agree, completely !!!!

Yes. I've tried counseling a few times in my life, but only managed to attend one or two times consecutively. It just feels like I am making things up about someone else but it doesn't actually resonate with me internally. 💙

I totally get you! You don‘t have to blame yourself for intellectualizing though. (I know it‘s hard not to because we‘re taught otherwise). From personal experience I know that I was able to tackle my selective mutism although by analysing and rationalizing without being aware of my emotions in those situations.

Yes! I am seeing someone who does EMDR and I am never able to tell her “how I feel” when she asks me. It’s been very difficult to work my way through traumatic events when I can’t even say what I am feeling.

Wait.. we’re supposed to always define how we feel? I just analyze my self most of the time and then wait for the therapist to ask me how I feel. Been in therapy for years. I’d recommend it!

@ruza kinsman I was like that until l hit total crisis. I knew l needed therapy if l was to go in with life.

Me too.

@@babythestars123 you just be yourself. I hope you can get the answers you need. I know for me, it explained a lot, but also people did not support me at all with it because I look normal etc so they say and many of my family do not believe the diagnosis. You have to seek support on your own unless you can get it at home. It is a learning process about yourself. I highly recommend watching some of the Aspie videos by actual Aspies, it helps me feel understood. Yo Samdy Sam and Aspergers From The Inside. Both are Aspies themselves and have very helpful information.

THIS!

His New Life Me three.

This is another factor the intensities of emotions that got me misdiagnosed with bi-polar and referred to as fast cycling. This is such a good understanding of what happens emotionally and what happens with the empath. When my ex boss suggested to me in the street that I was autistic I felt I was being accused of being emotionless and why I initially rejected it (we also had a misunderstanding and she asked "are you threatening to assault me?" after I said I didn't understand why people thought they could just say whatever they wanted to too me thinking I'd never retaliate (I do try to let things go) . I have a friend who is an empath also and if she is crying I only have to look at her and mine are filling in response.. I have even have to hug her and I don't typically do the personal space infiltrating and "don't touch me" is commen amongst my offspring . Tony's understanding of aspergers in girls is huge. My video that represented visually my sadness and trying to fight it all ( I'm happy now) is Scissor sisters " Mary." All my daughters are in the arts. I did art therapy in the psychiatric unit and it was our highlight. You would think when your that depressed it wouldn't but it did help us and then there were the issues all down on paper. I do however find it difficult to write because I feel laid bare when it's all written down in front of me because it's like the truth is now out there. I have written thing drunk and then destroyed them in the morning because I do suffer huge guilt and sometimes guilt for enjoying myself I can go on a night out do nothing wrong and feel guilty for having let myself go when everyone else is all "yeah, you were so funny, It was a good night".... Also when it comes to personal space you've never seen such a good example as my accountant sister and her counsellor friend driving together in the car talking to each other facing the opposite direction the one driving with their head facing out of the side window and the passenger with her head towards the other window saying "what did you say Luv, I can't hear you" this is not just personal space but them paranoidly trying to avoid breathing on each other incase they have bad breath , something they giggling at themselves already admitted to each other. I travelling in the back think they look nuts and wish my sister would stop talking so the driver can look straight ahead. Back to the depression of it I'm mostly an up person so I do like being me I don't tend to get upset anymore unless there is something worth getting upset about but I am not under the type of pressure atm that is a work environment I don't like. Secondary school was a nightmare for me and I suffered excessive sweating I did however suffer from huge social anxiety in secondary school though everyone assumed I loved myself I had excessive seating because my nerves were trashed . I'm pretty good at reading people but from a young age I didn't trust my grown ups. Which is kind of how I saw my parents the two people in charge of me who were in charge on account that they were the grown ups. I always had warnings about what was coming up in school in primary, particularly if there was to be a test or a maths topic I didn't already understand but this was in the days if you didn't understand having had things explained twice you were accused of not listening especially if they knew you to be clever in other areas or "a bright girl" as they'd term it. You totally do need to explain things to aspergers girls when it comes to predators because when you are looking for a female personal that is liked to be like I chose.... Gypsy from the musical yes I was five when I told my grandmother I was going to be a stripper because men seemed to be really nice to them, I couldn't tell a good "whey hey" from a bad one, a bit like Marilyn when she stood under flood lights on the grill and later a huge argument ensued after her other half asked her not to do it . They were also the bubbly Cheryl Baker from Bucks Fizz , Bonnie Langford, Scarlet from gone with the wind and worse of all I thought at one point the done thing was to act like Madonna and be purposefully shocking. As a child I had the very wrong sort of adult males showing interest in me when I was singing and dancing. I'd replicate these big female popstars and videos and it make preditors think this overtly sexual type exhibition was part of my genuine nature. I just wanted to be popular and have the majority of people be nice to me and it seemed to totally work for popstars who also seemed to do what they liked all day. I do totally love singing and it's fantastic and music therapy is amazing but these girls do need to know how they are being read by others. I even hitched my skirt up and held my thumb out to traffic once because I'd seen it in a film. When i first saw recording deck I was in love though it amuses people since I'm an aspie that when I was stood in the college studio with my headphones on recording and the rest of the band staring at me through the sound proof windows that I " felt like I was on the starship enterprise and why was I on the bridge by myself with everyone else at the controls ". I am now sometimes described as the most aspergers/autistic girl someone has ever met - and very pleased to be her. I understand me, if others don't.

I tend to go for my classic: a shrug and I say 'normal'.

I love the Nonviolent Communication lists: one for Feelings, one for Needs. I print them out and if I can't name what I'm feeling, I look down the list and the feeling(s) jump out. Has been very satisfying for me.

In the beginning I didn't get what therapists wanted from me when they asked me that. I'd connect this with my physical well-being. So I'd say good, when I was healthy, and bad, when I was ill or sick or in pain.

I am the same... I used to Google 'how do you know what emotions you feeling?“

I don't even like the question how are you or how do you feel, I don't want to think about it and I know people don't want to hear if you don't say I'm fine

Midnight Cat The funny thing is that neurotypicals mistake empathy for sympathy. Sympathy is being able to relate to those feelings, empathy is FEELING their emotions then and there

yes, they experience way too much empathy, but strugle to express it in words and behaviour. It is like a Cassandra syndrom.

Too much empathy? When an aspie has a meltdown they are not victimizing you; they deal with a LOT OF STRESS, and they have just snapped. It's kind of like having a nervous breakdown. I'm an aspie, and have done both.

Yes!!!!

That's why I quit going. Luckily, for me, I'm OK with going to a "quiet" walgreens near my home, sometimes, amazon decided to deliver food & my mom has been bringing me food every 2-4 weeks, for the last few months. Otherwise, I would have starved to death 7-8 years ago. BTW my mom is a "ginger", tho she hates that term, & 1 of her favorite movies is the red shoes. I dreamt she died last night, while I was in an insane asylum (also, part of the dream), so, hello!

Omg! I love this haha

@adrianna very wise and kind words, I used to blame my mum for not understanding that i have some condition, but now i really believe she done everything she could at that time, did her best and she is a hero

Before you decided to diagnose them with autism, have you ruled out that maybe your son is alcoholic and your daughter is having an eating disorder? It seems that nowadays it is trendy to be on the autism spectrum.

@@cikuuzis 1 out of 54 people have it by modern day statistics This isn't it being trendy And it's largely under diagnosed at that and there are people suffering today, especially women who lack the resources or knowledge

I feel the same, at 57. Sometimes I feel I failed my daughter by not knowing she was on the spectrum. Then again, her teachers, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors failed miserably as well. I thank God I found Tony Atwood on UKposts. Now I understand what is going on with her. Even better, she understands herself.

@@cikuuzis The writer did not say she diagnosed her children. It is likely a professional did. Such accusations are thoughtless and unkind.

I agree

I found I needed DBT

Hated CBT, I agree DBT is better.

Finally! I’ve just been through a round of CBT after a second bout of anorexia (I’m autistic too) and I am worse after it ! I felt like screaming in the sessions

They did that with me as well (10 years ago) and after a few sessions she quit that and told me that a lack of rationalizing wasn't the problem. I still think that's kinda funny xD

I haven't had the discussion with medical providers but I've tried it on my own and it didn't work at all. Now I know why. I've recently discovered DBT and it might help me. I'm actually hopeful again, unlike when CBT is the only option

THIS. Even though I can somehow explain my feelings by saying “i’m unhappy” or whatever I just know that I can’t say that because it’s UNACCEPTABLE.

❤❤

@Victoria S Thank you for this.

me as well

@Dimple Seaweed at an older age with all that experience and these memories of past life-situations, one can make a very accurate self-diagnosis.. the difference with an external diagnosis -for me at least - is a matter of power. An external Diagnosis could be a blow. A shock Done by my self as i was finally ready to see and accept it is: empowering! and there is far less fear. but a lot of sadness, because of all the intense emotional pain i remembered.

@Dimple Seaweed SO agreed!!!!! Thank you for saying that!

yes

Ginger Redshoes so true! it's like why am i explaining myself to you when i'm having a crisis😭

- I need to lie down asap, i feel terrible - why? Tell me why before you can lie down - AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Especially because it's so much harder to talk. I'm like "even if I manage to think of what to say I can't get my vocal cords to work"

Exactly! I tend to bottle things up really well until I'm in a safe space to cry, hyper-ventilate, etc. but when someone noticed I'm not myself and asks me what's wrong? Crap. Trying to get the words out is difficult and I start crying due to the combination of the frustration and all the other stuff swirling around in my head. Which leads to feeling embarrassed about having shown that side of myself to a person that I haven't determined if they are safe.

U guys r sooo frickin relatable!!!!

I'm so sorry you had to experience the sexual abuse. And I'm glad of what you described as as a tsunami of self love and compassion. I've felt it too, when beeing granted the medical procedure to get the formal diagnosis. The disdain I had for myself is gone. It's like beeing able to breathe for the first time. So wonderful. Whishing you all the best!

I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you’ve come through the other side.

yes I was so thankful that was addressed, I was victimized by predators since early childhood to adulthood as well

Me too. Many sexual experiences that were unwanted and I just didn't know what was happening.

🎉😂🎉🎉😂🎉😂🎉🎉😂🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂🎉🎉🎉😂🎉🎉😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉 10:32

Ugh yes My coaches in softball used to get angry at me for not trying. And I’d cry at home, because I had no idea how nobody knew how hard I was trying.

I was told I was clinging to my mental illness because I couldn’t change and fit into their mold I spent years in a mental hospital growing up

To me this is a parent issue. I may be far from perfect, but I use my intuition with my kids. My 13 yo has aspergers. Undiagnosed, but this isn't rocket science to figure out. Its unmistakable. She's such a happy child because we didn't fight things or force things on her. We avoid "experts", including public school, and she's thriving. She struggles socially at times but it's not traumatizing.

@@RunninUpThatHillhthank you. She is blessed.

....I'd let him hold my hand for a minute

I could have listened longer myself

I Question Existence: A little aside to you and others: He is not explaining our experiences, but naming and putting words to them.I agree he does that well and entertaining.

His dad and son have autism and it benefits us so much

@@Medietos Yes that's true sorry

I agree

shethewriter id recommend writing a list or something of things to say to take to any appointment you go to: trust me you'll need it. If it's possible it might also be worthwhile sending some of these lectures to people or just bring them up to them,, or maybe make a list of the points made in the video and be like "this is me!! I do this!!"

You might find the r/aspergers group on Reddit to be a helpful support community. And taking the Autism Quotient questionnaire may give you some validation and insights as you start towards getting a diagnosis. It can be a good starting point for any discussion you're going to have about receiving a diagnosis. Also, many practitioners (at least here in the US) will be dismissive of an adult seeking a diagnosis. If you encounter that, just move on. They don't get it, and they aren't worth your time on. Don't let their dismissal invalidate your reality.

I feel the same. I have had suspicions that i might be autistic for a few moths. After watching 2 vids of this guy now i am sure i am autistic. I made my husband watch them too coz he has verbalized many of my quirks related to autisms that i myself was unaware of before he told me. This guy explained all of them perfectly.

I know that feeling so well. Unfortunatly, many people that are not in that position just can't understand the importance of figuring that out. But you'll be alright, just take your time and listen to yourself. I can recommend looking into autism yt channels like the aspie world or agony autie. At least for me it's calming to listen to people whose experiences I might be able to relate to and who sometimes can verbalise things better than I could. Also, the first one has a discord server where you can talk with other neurodivergent people.

Have a look at the autism TEDx Talks, they helped me too 😊 Aspi Greatings from Germany 🙏🏼

I agree, I want to send this to people I know also because it explains so much I could not explain myself

makes sense! autism hits both ends of the extreme with affection, really wanting it sometimes and really not wanting it others.

I want and need lots of affection from my boyfriend, but i don't want it from other people :)

I get it. I've never really needed physicals contact, but I've always felt the need for more positive words. This is especially true when it comes to my parents. When I was a little kid I would sometimes remove myself from a situation and then get even more upset when I realized that none of my family members followed me or were looking for me. I rarely remove myself from situations anymore, but when I do I don't dare hope for any attention.

I like physical affection too. I'm more of a fan of deep pressure than light fluttery touch.

Same here, it depends a bit on the situation. A panic attack/metdown spirals into complete extremum if I'm left alone, it's dangerous. But I think we all share the inability to talk in such moments and that someone asking us to explain is like nails on chalkboard, and preferably minimal speaking from them, just simple things like "I love you", "It will be okay", "I'm here" from time to time until things go back to normal and communication is possible. And I realllllyyyy love hugs!!! I hate being touched randomly but when it's not by surprise and someone I trust, hugs are welcome, the really strong, wrapping-you-whole ones, they bring such sense of comfort and safety (I guess that's also why weighted blankets are popular lol). Yes, sometimes, in milder states, isolation is preferred, if it's simply because of feeling a bit overwhelmed by the situation and seeking a quiet space. But when it gets out of control, I think being left alone can often be dangerous, it's good to at least check on that person.

that made me bust of in laughter as well, I know the feeling

My family is an Autistic family too.

Same. I’m studying psychology and found out I might be autistic (strong indication). May I ask if y’all get your diagnosis?

I've been wondering who in my family also deal with it

@@daisyfruity3040 If you want a professional diagnosis, I'd suggest going directly to an autism specialist. As far as GP's, psychiatrists, psychologists...Most of them will misdiagnose you, because they know little or nothing about autism.

I have two sisters and we all figured it out separately. Everything clicked.

yes yes

I also laughed when you mentioned affection. My best friend of 10 years fussed at me constantly. She wants to chat and talk and ask things and say things and offer solutions when I'm upset and I just want to scream at her to shut up and go away. I know that is completely unfair and she means well but it drives me batty. How do I explain to someone who loves me that what will help me the most is for them to go away and ignore me? I tried once and she took it so personally and was so hurt that it nearly ended the friendship

@@bronwynreijnders7205 I'm here because I suspect I'm high functioning autistic female. I did this very thing to a family member. She wanted me to butt out and I thought I was helping. I wish people would explain to me what I'm doing in the moment so I can regulate myself.

yes

yes he gets us

I wish I did that before my first bf! I had never heard of a covert narcissist before him and he traumatized me literally giving me PTSD.

We almost have to, or if we're lucky, we have a good friend who can spot them for us who helps us learn to recognize that personality or behavior.

The accuracy! Yeah, I think this should be learned in schools, being good and understanding does not come naturally for all

Sant Ajaib Singh said," Keep a far distance from those who are tangled up like a ball of wool, or you will become that way".

Beware of people with bad boundaries...

Me too !!

Me too!!

me 3!!!

This is going to bother me forever. WHAT IS THE PAINTING. D:< DON'T LEAVE US HANGING.

so did I

I agree! I had to scroll down so it was off the top of the screen it was annoying me so much.

Yeah thats weird

the timer was horrible, I had to just listen

Amazing!

That is such a cool idea - and, inspiring - thank you ☺

I find friends exhausting

I don’t necessarily forget about them, I just find they’re hard to keep up on and if I reach out I’ll be obligated to see someone in person

yes I relate to that as well

My sons dad said that about me after he basically destroyed me in front of his friends...because he was torturing me...

I can't handle negativity either

me too

My mom says this too and I don't like it.

That's funny

my dad always says “but if you did know what would you say”

I felt this.

Is he an NT though?

I don’t think he’s NT

@@ThePathOfLeastResistanc I think he doesn't know he's autistic lol

yes you'd think he was one of us

@@ThePathOfLeastResistanc he hasn’t explicitly said he’s not NT so you should respect that as I assume like the rest of us, you don’t have the qualifications to diagnose. I’m sure if he was diagnosed as autistic, he would have said so by now.

You are an empath.

I'm sending this to my friends and family

Same :(

I wish my roommate would watch this so he would understand the hell I'm going through this year due to him having a manic episode that has lasted over a year now...

I appreciate hugs but they do create anxiety for me

I used to feel that way as well, and then I realized it was a control issue. I couldn't control how much love energy I was receiving and felt over-stimulated. That's why stuffed animals are good for me. I can feel love energy without it being overwhelmingly mixed with a parent's sympathy and grief and pain. A teddy bear can't cry in its heart for you as intensely as a human can, because it has no soul.

I like hugs from my boyfriend. I don't think all people with Autism hate hugs.

I totally agree with your comment I long to be hugged and I’m 70 and still waiting.

yes

Yes, I used to call it "psyching" out the person or teacher in order to ace a class for school

I found myself saying yes as well

I hope you have someone you can talk to, especially when you feel at your worst.

have you been tested for copper toxicity? Pyrolle Disorder?

@@purkatopics2877 what is that???

I can truly relate. Thank you for being open.

But I liked surprise tests and substitute teachers. I despised the monotony of school. But I resonate with so many of the symptoms. I want to get professional diagnosis somehow but I’m scared to even make that phone call and idk what to say!!! I feel like an idiot. “Hey my life is fine, but I just want to know” I feel like I’m a waste of time and money, and taking space from other people who actually need therapy. And I told my Mom and she really got angry with me for saying it. Also I’ve always wanted to be a psychologist or Counselor. I study the heck out of everyone. My mom tells me it’s a fault, I need to stop overanalyzing people. Like I’m doing it on purpose, like I could make it stop or like I should want to bc she tells me it’s weird and I shouldn’t be doing it.

I had to not watch and just listen

yes

OMGOSH 😳 you have just helped me understand more about my 17 year old daughter 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Thank you❤

Omg I know!! I am shocked at how understood I feel… I don’t care about affection but “tolerate” it for my husband. If someone wants to show me love then do something practical for me like the dishes or take out the garbage, don’t hug me hahaha.

Lilia Vayuna Yes! Ironic to me they would put it on a video about autism. Clearly whoever did that is not autistic, as they would know better.

Yes! Completely agree. I had to put my thumb over it

the clock was bothering me, too fast moving, I had to just listen

I agree

Libby Barton i’m right there with you, i’ve jokingly mentioned it as a possibility but i’ve really been diving into research lately and 👀👀👀👀👀👀

Same I'm just afraid of the time and cost. I've heard it can take years on a waiting list and thousands of dollars.

Hi all who are thinking of seeking a diagnosis. Totally worth it. Depending on where you live. I found a place that only took 4 months to get one. Expensive yeah but I feel a sense of relief and I don't question myself anymore. Good luck with your journey! I'm a women diagnosised with ASD at 29

@@kit10 why would time make you afraid. Cost yes. But the time will pass anyway. Aren't you more afraid of living forever undiagnosed

yes I agree, I'm sharing this

​@@SmokyMountainBlessedqq

Thank you for sharing. I have a similar experience to you. Now, it makes sense. Some of us die and never get to know why they were the way they were and life was so hard.😢

I was amazed that he gets it like he's one of us