What You Try to Control, Controls You | The Paradox of Control

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Einzelgänger

Einzelgänger

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The ‘paradox of control’ attempts to show that the more we try to control external circumstances, the less in control we are as we try to control something we cannot. And so, as a consequence of our attempts to impose control over a situation, it may eventually turn out for the worse. This video essay explores the paradox of control.
Video: What You Try to Control, Controls You | The Paradox of Control
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#paradoxofcontrol #taoism #alanwatts
00:00 - Intro
02:30 - The limits of control
06:08 - The futility of trying to control
09:13 - What you try to control, controls you
11:38 - Finding security in the uncontrollable

КОМЕНТАРІ: 1 500
Рік тому
Rectification: the story of King Canute (as told in this video) seems to be based on a common misinterpretation. My apologies for not researching and checking it properly, as I assumed this was the correct version. King Canute did not command the waves to stop out of arrogance and delusion, but to prove to people that the powers of kings are limited and trivial - pretty wise and profound. Thanks to the people who pointed out this mistake. I hope this clears up my error. E.
@amulyamalhi
@amulyamalhi Рік тому
Thanks for the rectification EZ. We appreciate your promptness to set things right :)
@Trogdor0547
@Trogdor0547 Рік тому
As a child in the UK, I was taught that Cnut (who was actually a Dane) tried to prove the divine nature of kingship by turning the tide. That was being taught nearly 50 years ago, mind you! Maybe history has moved on and reinterpreted that 'fact' but I remember it being taught that way. Thank you for all the great content you create - I'm a big fan.
@user-vq7nm9hr5o
@user-vq7nm9hr5o Рік тому
Thanks for showing how to take feedback and correct it on UKposts...whereas people are messing with lives of others and not accepting and correcting it. Having said that, this video of your leave lots of questions 1. Why do people like to control others 2. Why they never Check alternative options..power, greed and fear are still big drivers ??? 3. How can communication and discussion are not options for these controlling types to proving something wrong or right... Instead they believe in fake stories, fear and greed tractics ???
@marcusyap5880
@marcusyap5880 Рік тому
"How do we know what's good and what's bad?" - Farmer in the video
@mrcjc9298
@mrcjc9298 Рік тому
Canute was the king of England, Denmark and Norway. He was demonstrating to his people that even he was not all powerful.
@burtscho
@burtscho Рік тому
"I am not what has happened to me, I am what I choose to become". That is powerful
@Novastar.SaberCombat
@Novastar.SaberCombat Рік тому
"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
@yuliamoroz4667
@yuliamoroz4667 Рік тому
@rubyjet9513
@rubyjet9513 Рік тому
by C.G. Jung
@devarmont87
@devarmont87 Рік тому
I'd say more accurately that it's "I am not what has happened to me, nor what I do in relation to the situation, For I am truly how I feel in the moment, and my only choice is how I choose to feel always" You are not the body, nor the mind, you are the ever present witness of them. The silent seer beyond.
@gsgaming6976
@gsgaming6976 Рік тому
Both and? Yes and no. Unask the question, look for a larger context.
@Forbidden.wisdom.
@Forbidden.wisdom. Рік тому
*”Do not fear having no friends. Fear having bad friends”* ~My life taught lesson
@ziprowoxer3607
@ziprowoxer3607 Рік тому
THANK U SOOOOOOOO MUCH !!! I was just thinking to leave my all BAD friends and i suddenly saw this comment. i love this lesson and now i'm leaving my all bad friends forever!!!
@Kenny-tl7ir
@Kenny-tl7ir Рік тому
Depends on what path you want to lead in life. In the end, we all make friends in order to increase our status within the socio-economic hierarchy. The path you choose will have a heavy impact on how far you go.
@sueb6662
@sueb6662 Рік тому
OMG SO TRUE wisdom right there..... I love this parable by trying to control the less in control we are .... the paradox of control . King Kannut my friend control is an illusion we don't control people our bodies we can influence but not control we don't have ultimate control.
@MrGearoid65
@MrGearoid65 Рік тому
Absolutely brilliant. I am learning this at the moment. I have found out that I have been accepting friendship from bad people as being better than having no friends. Bad mistake. 🙏
@mshannahloganshow
@mshannahloganshow Рік тому
Timely... having released or discovered truth re so-called friends recently, I was in quite a bit of self-pity as someone who used to "have so many friends" and now has very, very few... and none locally. But what you say is SO. VERY. TRUE. Because the requirement of continuing a relationship with an UNTRUE friend is being untrue WITH ONE'S SELF. A worse kind of loneliness.
@RealWisdomofficial
@RealWisdomofficial Рік тому
“In life, we never lose friends, we only learn who the true ones are.”
@virginiemasai9024
@virginiemasai9024 Рік тому
If there is 1 real! Not my case..at least i have Allah💖🤲
@12BY6
@12BY6 Рік тому
Amen
@TackleOneOne
@TackleOneOne Рік тому
That one surely is death.
@jaydeisvibin2842
@jaydeisvibin2842 11 місяців тому
Unless theyre killed in a car crasg
@turtleanton6539
@turtleanton6539 6 місяців тому
For sure😊😊😊
@paulayers1111
@paulayers1111 Рік тому
This resonates with me. Especially how it shows exactly why WORRYING NEVER HELPS ANYTHING. If anything, it makes it worse.
@kadalo4544
@kadalo4544 Рік тому
this.
@legitplayin6977
@legitplayin6977 Рік тому
It’s not like you can control it though
@pyroxxx
@pyroxxx Рік тому
@@legitplayin6977 Always strive for control while keeping in mind and accepting you can't control everything.
@legitplayin6977
@legitplayin6977 Рік тому
@@pyroxxx Still can’t control things like anxiety attacks or depression
@SectorOne350
@SectorOne350 Рік тому
@@legitplayin6977 i think you can learn to control them
@lking421
@lking421 4 місяці тому
" My heart is calm because I know that what I miss will never be my destiny and what is destined for me will never miss me " Umar Ibn El-Khatab
@shizznp7411
@shizznp7411 Місяць тому
Who wrote that
@hannaela3306
@hannaela3306 Місяць тому
Imam Ashhafi,'i's quote​@@shizznp7411
@Saadcars167
@Saadcars167 28 днів тому
@@shizznp7411Umar ibn Al Khattab
@muhamedsameh3079
@muhamedsameh3079 17 днів тому
الفاروق. عمر بن الخطاب
@okeanosokeanos2716
@okeanosokeanos2716 13 днів тому
That is terrifying if you really think about it. It means we dont have free will. That no matter what we choose, a super being is guiding our every step to a fixed point in our lives. Fuck that brother.
@yohaizilber
@yohaizilber Рік тому
By accepting that we cannot control everything and learning to let go, we can find greater peace, joy, and freedom in our lives. It's a call that encourages us to focus on what we can control, such as our thoughts, emotions, and reactions, and to trust that everything else will fall into place as it should.
@anonymous-jp7bo
@anonymous-jp7bo Рік тому
yes i absolutely agree with you
@nowornever07
@nowornever07 Рік тому
👍🙏
@FullCircleTravis
@FullCircleTravis Рік тому
The control paradox applies to thoughts and emotions as well. The issue isn't control itself, it's the desire for control. Desire comes from the ego, and it comes from the belief that your reality should be different than it is.
@jackchamberlin1573
@jackchamberlin1573 Рік тому
Amor Fati
@Beederda
@Beederda Рік тому
A black man in a jail cell in a movie once said “the universe tends to unfold as it should” and its stuck with me ever since and when i gave up wanting to control that what was not in my control I started to notice this unfolding happening and conquered my driver’s license with surprising ease. negative self talk was within my control apparently 🤷‍♂️
@mattc5937
@mattc5937 Рік тому
You can't control others' ACTIONS, only your own REACTION.
@carinatysklindstrom3832
@carinatysklindstrom3832 Рік тому
So short and so very helpful words Easy to remember 🙏
@redsprite81
@redsprite81 Рік тому
... and then look at the billions of people who were manipulated to put themselves in line for a dubious mRNA experiment... Or look what happens now globally under the disguise of "climate change" ... of there's anything that can be controlled on that planet, than it's the people.
@whitezkullgamer1018
@whitezkullgamer1018 Рік тому
Your out of lines! **BUT YOUR RIGHT!!!**
@1llm1nd
@1llm1nd Рік тому
Currently going through a rough time. Been separated from my wife 2 months now and it’s been the hardest time of my life. I realize my pain comes from my desire to control the outcome and no matter how much I worry or think of solutions it will matter very little. I have to just let go and what will be will be. Thanks for this video. It came at a perfect time.
@HH-vw6nk
@HH-vw6nk Рік тому
Same. Wife left last Month. So hard. So many dreams now gone
@MarkNOTW
@MarkNOTW Рік тому
Having been through 2 divorces, I can tell you if you want things to work out with her, your best chance is by letting go and resist the urge to negotiate/plead/control her. Its very hard to do.
@spikyblackblur
@spikyblackblur Рік тому
You've got this. You'll get through it. Goodluck king. ❤️
@life_of_riley88
@life_of_riley88 Рік тому
Hang in there. I've been there, it can get dark, but just try to imagine that it's okay to be alone. Things happen beyond our control in life, and if that person isn't going to be next to you forever, that's okay, because at some point it's GOTTA be okay. Make it okay now. You'll get through it.
@fathuman
@fathuman Рік тому
@@life_of_riley88 Exactly. We as humans often view solitude as a disease that must be eradicated at all costs, but we all need to make friends with solitude because life happens. People leave, people cheat, people die. Life needs to make sense with or without people, or else you are not free.
@chriswilliams8159
@chriswilliams8159 Рік тому
Having an absolute control over one's actions and reactions to external circumstances is perhaps the greatest feat of courage and strength. Letting things unfold on their own accord is the true way of the universe.
@Trogdor0547
@Trogdor0547 Рік тому
Well said!
@caseyjenyou2arethegreatest135
@caseyjenyou2arethegreatest135 Рік тому
Lord Grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
@CrisTina-vm1td
@CrisTina-vm1td Рік тому
A.A.
@jaquezprostil2115
@jaquezprostil2115 Рік тому
Just for today
@ashikdennis9202
@ashikdennis9202 Рік тому
I am so anxiety ridden.. I need to pray.
@stevo999
@stevo999 Рік тому
My favortie prayer
@mitchsmith3296
@mitchsmith3296 Рік тому
One day at a time
@toddspangler6669
@toddspangler6669 Рік тому
The part about the woman stressing over her job is very relatable. I plan to switch from a stressful software engineering job to becoming a handyman. I'll make way less money, but I enjoy meeting new people (in person) and I love seeing different places and houses. Last 3 years, I feel like I've been trapped in my house and forced myself to stare at a computer screen for too many years of my life.
@johnhamilton9284
@johnhamilton9284 Рік тому
Good for you following your instincts. One afternoon 14 years ago I walked through my corporate department where many people depended on me for direction and I was very well-paid, and I remember the exact suit I was wearing when the words appeared in my mind as though they were written in fire suspended in front of me: "There is nothing here for me." Within a month the company offered a corporate-wide buyout offer which I took 15 years before normal retirement. I left a high-profile cushy position with lots of pro-sports and other silly public points to it including many insufferable egos, and had just written the annual report, so everybody assumed I knew something secret and that's why I was jumping. If I hadn't made that leap from plush strangling security across the abyss of the next 15 dead corporate years, I would never have had almost a decade free to travel, spend time with aged parents, discover the life-changing practices of Buddhism, meditation, and Stoicism, and later become a ranger/wildland firefighter where I make a fraction of my former corporate financial package but have an absolute blast. We have one life: we must follow our instincts and our nature or we will feel enslaved.
@toddspangler6669
@toddspangler6669 Рік тому
@@johnhamilton9284 That's Awesome!!! It is hard to go from "Make more money" to an "Enjoy life" mentality sometimes. I had my wife quit to become a travel agent and I've never seen her so excited about her job before. For me, working with my hands to help someone get something fixed, allows me to do fun things like drilling, cutting wood, screwing stuff...it's kinda cool. Plus, unlike my Software Engineer job, I can knock out something in the same day instead of weeks or months or years and never have to be in boring meetings. Enjoy your life, thanks for your post. It's exciting hearing about others doing what they love rather than being stuck in the Rat 🐀 race!
@julietphillips1991
@julietphillips1991 Рік тому
It is always a good thing to be reminded of our lack of control as we often struggle daily to maintain inner peace.
@Novastar.SaberCombat
@Novastar.SaberCombat Рік тому
"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
@theAussie01
@theAussie01 11 місяців тому
💯🙏
@freetibet1000
@freetibet1000 10 місяців тому
Julietphillips, This is profound! We often imagine that peace of mind comes when we have full control, right? But in reality the only true peace is found when we have given up our neurotic urge for control. Peace arise when we have accepted that the next moment is a complete unknown to us no matter how clever we try to be. Then peace of mind can become a constant way of being, in any circumstances. We have no expectations about what the next moment will bring, and we are completely open to what ever comes our way.
@ProductCreationFormula
@ProductCreationFormula Рік тому
As a person who constantly looks back at the past and wishes I could go back and change it, I now realise after watching a couple of your videos that this is foolish and a waste of time. I know it will take work, because I have a lifetime of bad habits to break, but I think it will be worth it. Thanks for an awesome video 📹
@recyclerking1
@recyclerking1 Рік тому
right here right now and thats all we have and thats it I dont care about the past.
@chriscrook7865
@chriscrook7865 10 місяців тому
All you have is the present moment. The past doesn't exist outside of thought, nor does tomorrow.
@BillyCrystal-hc5jp
@BillyCrystal-hc5jp 9 місяців тому
@@recyclerking1you may be done with the past but the past isn’t done with you
@bacchigaloupe1
@bacchigaloupe1 Рік тому
I was about to have a nervous breakdown and then this video showed up in my feed. THANK YOU! What a huge help this channel is!
@CL-qm7it
@CL-qm7it Рік тому
Im thinking aboot you.
@KellyRenee206
@KellyRenee206 Рік тому
I hope you are doing better now ❤
@digidrum2003
@digidrum2003 Рік тому
I am with you....I feel the same some days....and believe it or not sometimes a smile breaks through for me.
@bet-a-betta6468
@bet-a-betta6468 Рік тому
Imagine. Hah get better stop being so WEAK
@anacatarinam4167
@anacatarinam4167 9 місяців тому
I hope you’re ok
@zen7938
@zen7938 Рік тому
When you letting go, the whole world flows in you.
@johnguzowski8634
@johnguzowski8634 Рік тому
Wu Wei
@jenniferwildflower4249
@jenniferwildflower4249 Місяць тому
Beautifully true.
@MellowChaos
@MellowChaos Рік тому
When I was about 13 my whole house flooded (water heater burst in the attic while out of town - don't ask me whose bright idea that was). The flood began from directly above my bedroom on the top floor and destroyed the whole house over the span of a week while we were on a cruise. When I went inside for the first time upon returning, I stood outside the door to my decimated room watching as water and insulation continued to pour onto my bed and belongings. Unlike my parents, I wasn't devastated or upset, even. I think that was the moment I learned nothing is permanent. I learned a lot from sleeping in a hotel for months and having to buy all new clothes and basic necessities. It could have been worse...I could have been asleep under the water heater when the ceiling collapsed, my parents could have forgotten to pay their insurance bill and we could have been homeless(well- homeless-er) Point is, you can lose EVERYTHING (or everyone - different story) in an instant, and that's that. But it doesn't have to break you. You cant undo what has been done, so you either learn to let go or you become consumed by the grief of losing something that was never meant to last forever anyways. The last lesson I learned, appreciate what you have WHILE you have it, not after its already gone. AND DON'T PUT YOUR WATER HEATER IN THE ATTIC.
@technetiumsoul
@technetiumsoul Рік тому
I hope your family's claims adjuster was great!
@gasmith7486
@gasmith7486 4 місяці тому
This video is not about floods or water.
@MellowChaos
@MellowChaos 3 місяці тому
@@gasmith7486 ok, and?
@lionheart-182
@lionheart-182 3 місяці тому
​@@gasmith7486 you Just remainded me that we cannot control other People stupidity either 😂
@LearnEnglish-he5rd
@LearnEnglish-he5rd 2 місяці тому
​@lionheart-182 😂😂😂
@MaryDunford
@MaryDunford Рік тому
It surprises me how few people understand why manipulation, or coercion, has the opposite effect (eventually) of the hoped-for outcome. Even the most moral, or altruistic, intentions become warped when delivered by force or deception. It never ends well.
@user-uy7ez1uo7y
@user-uy7ez1uo7y 3 місяці тому
I've been recently thinking about the exact thing you just wrote!
@MrKentakie
@MrKentakie Рік тому
There once was a factory owner who's factory burned down. Instead of breaking down by the sight of his factory burning he called all his workers and said "You'll never see a fire this majestic again". Change the things you can change and accept the things you cannot - thus you can change your reaction to negatie events. In the end, seek opportunity with risks you've a solution for as the worst case never comes to fruition.
@DominiqueFrancon
@DominiqueFrancon Рік тому
That was Thomas Edison. True story.
@groglorb8980
@groglorb8980 Рік тому
See, when I did that my boss was furious! Some people just have no sense of gratitude.
@mthokozisiblessingkhulu4950
@mthokozisiblessingkhulu4950 Рік тому
Thomas Edison was that factory owner, powerful take on life
@legitplayin6977
@legitplayin6977 Рік тому
Yeah, because he still had shit ton of money to rely on. His workers just lost their job on which they depended on. It’s easy not caring when you’re rich
@JG-kv4oi
@JG-kv4oi Рік тому
​@@legitplayin6977 Those evil rich people eh. Who worked hard and saved to build a business that hired lazy people like you who are jealous of the person who through his sacrifices succeeds. You are in control of your life, go and try, try again until successful
@ProtagonistVon
@ProtagonistVon Рік тому
I learned this as a young child, I called it the pool noodle problem. I wanted to use the pool noodle, but there was never that many, however when I had it I was then unhappy because I “had” to guard and keep others from it and couldn’t just swim. I learned that I was happier without the fun sounding toys for the most part, or at least the thought I should use them, because I was literally held back. This has carried over to many things in my life, having both hands full but still trying to maintain a normal pace doesn’t work, just letting go leads to a better life.
@Twisted4k
@Twisted4k 7 місяців тому
"Our lack of confidence is not the result of difficulty; the difficulty comes from our lack of confidence."
@manimations7007
@manimations7007 Рік тому
“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”-Bruce Lee
@sirjoe84
@sirjoe84 Рік тому
Uncontrollable forces of human nature at that. Discovered my wife cheated twice. Acted like nothing happened. I got cancer and was kicked out of the house, it took me too long to recover from her infidelity. Hahaha. So, while homeless, tumor in my body, and jobless. I was then served with divorce papers! At 38 I’m back with my folks and licking my wounds. The key is to remember to stay calm even when you’ve only got one nostril above water.
@stickamateur
@stickamateur Рік тому
Jesus... stay strong brother! ❤
@alisalurje6939
@alisalurje6939 Рік тому
Much Love and strength to you, my brother ❤
@marvinlang3777
@marvinlang3777 Рік тому
Wow what a story. Ur mind must be one strong motherfucker now. Good for you
@jdloer
@jdloer Рік тому
Bro! it takes courage to share this so openly. Respect! and GodSpeed!
@User-nu3gq
@User-nu3gq Рік тому
Keep going you’re time will come
@TheDwightMamba
@TheDwightMamba Рік тому
My grandfather died in a sailboat accident just one year before I was born, but left me this gem... "Always camp a few feet above the high water mark."
@mikiasg8453
@mikiasg8453 Рік тому
The Art of Doing Nothing is bliss
@carolallison9685
@carolallison9685 Рік тому
My husband recently learned this in a very literal way at work. He got a new job over the summer, making more money and working from home. He was very happy with this, then got caught up in the rat race idea of constant growth and just more and more and more. He became unhappy with the situation he was just happy with a few months ago because he wanted more. So he started doing more and more that was outside of his job in order to move up. This is a form of controlling other people in my mind. We were already doing well financially and didn't want for anything, plus we could spend way more time together. I told him he can't control his status at work, and his company will pay what they want to pay and will hire who they want for management positions. Well, his hard work didn't stop the company from hiring someone else at a higher rate who works far less. Now my husband is going into the office all the time, 120 mile round trip btw, while the other guy never comes in, and still makes way more in the same job title. He was hired on as a remote worker, but his need to show he's worth more, only showed he doesn't mind the drive or hours put in. Did i mention my husband is on 24 hours for 4 days straight when he's on shift, while the other guy is off nights, yet still doesn't have to come in? This is why the position was work from home to begin with. He didn't get a promotion he was going for because the company likes him doing his job since he has turned the department around. If they promoted him to another department, his current one would fall. His new company is now controlling every aspect of his life because in his attempts to move up, he really just showed them he's a doormat who will work harder for less pay. It's getting to the point now that he's thinking about quitting the job he used to love.
@Campfire30
@Campfire30 Рік тому
Maybe deep down he just wanted to get out of the house. Sometimes our subconscious knows what we really want.
@ellenc2527
@ellenc2527 Рік тому
Thank you so much for this video, and all the others. I struggle with low self esteem and it has hurt so many people, mostly myself. Learning to not see myself as a victim who needs to gain power in order to survive is one of the most difficult things for me to wrap my head around. Thank you, thank you for all you do
@himbaerno1
@himbaerno1 Рік тому
Really thankful for this video and many others before. It's just what i needed today. I will let these words sink in now and remember again and again that this might be my lesson to learn, letting go and control what i can. I quote my friend, he said lately: this difficulty that i have with (insert topic) might come back in my life, as many times as are needed to understand the lesson. So here I am once again....but its getting better everyday. 🙏
@johnroman4608
@johnroman4608 Рік тому
Life happens .. !! Drink coffee ☕️ go fishing 🎣 have wine 🥂 ... accept u cannot control everything. Don’t control people - Do not be controlled either. Live Free !!
@zsauffi
@zsauffi Рік тому
Controversial. Where's the fineline between no-control and not letting to be controlled? Thats also a control when you *dont* let others control you. Haha
@ladysteel6019
@ladysteel6019 Рік тому
@@zsauffi Trust your instincts.
@anacatarinam4167
@anacatarinam4167 9 місяців тому
@@zsauffino one said you can’t control yourself, even the video said you can control your actions
@BlueProgamer212
@BlueProgamer212 3 місяці тому
Now you're technically controlling us to not control others. (also just realized this was 9 months ago.. bruh)
@anaperilla29
@anaperilla29 Рік тому
I am so glad that this channel exists !!! This video made me realised that what society preaches isn't always what we need for our lives to find peace. They tell us to have EVERYTHING under control, buy in most cases that is an impossible task to accomplish. Thanks a lot👏👏👏
@trustmedood780
@trustmedood780 Рік тому
This is one of the few channels that have stood the test of time IMO. I get “in” to different stuff all the time but this dood’s videos are always so interesting AND helpful! I totally save screen shots and screen recordings all the time. This guy is awesome!
@amulyamalhi
@amulyamalhi Рік тому
Everyone needs to remember that only our thoughts, words and actions are in our control. External things like climate, economy or other people's behavior are beyond our control and thus one should not be bothered by them!
@TheMathias95
@TheMathias95 Рік тому
If we were in control of our thoughts, anxiety wouldn't be a thing, neither would depression. I also suspect we cannot control words or actions completely. What we can control is observing and learning.
@RSBloc
@RSBloc Рік тому
@@TheMathias95 when you don’t know your will power over your thoughts you will never be able to control them till you know who you are.Anxiety depression can be controlled 💯,there’s just a formula on how to do it and you need to be taught
@TheMathias95
@TheMathias95 Рік тому
@@RSBloc You can learn how to handle anxiety and depression, but you very much so cannot control the thoughts provoking them. They can arrive whether one wants them to or not. Awareness of this can help you to cope. I'm assuming this is what you also meant, but when using the word "control" implies to me that you can ensure never to feel neither anxiety nor depression, which is a claim about a future you cannot predict.
@RSBloc
@RSBloc Рік тому
@@TheMathias95 no,thoughts never arrive without being asked for,the moment you entertain a thought you don’t like you asking for it.your mind is the only thing you can really control in life lol only if you understood that
@RSBloc
@RSBloc Рік тому
@@TheMathias95 anxiety doesn’t exist so I never feel it,coz I don’t feel things that don’t exist
@ArisEmriis
@ArisEmriis Рік тому
I found your channel right about the time I went into recovery and began my healing journey in my new life. These videos have been such a wonderful added support for me. The teaching of the stoics ties right in to the way of the program I'm in. I have 11 months sobriety and these videos are like a mental vitamin supplement for me as I continue to heal and transform body, mind and spirit. Thank you for the gift you bring to me, and to the world.❤❤❤
@khaoulakachouane9447
@khaoulakachouane9447 Рік тому
God bless this channel. You are always sent to us in the most difficut times of our life. Whenever I had trouble, a break up, sickness or any form of distress this channel has been an immense help and a source of strength. I am a teacher and I share this with my students. I believe this knowledge is necessary for the young generation as it will save them from unnecessary sufferings and cultivate their potential. Thank you so much. P.s: your way of tackling concepts is mindblowing. I really love how you deconstruct common sense and construct wisdom with your essay structure! *kudos for all the team*
@H1kari_1
@H1kari_1 Рік тому
This video helped me so much! I am pulling the weight of three coworkers currently while managing far too many projects. I tried to control the outcome to the detail and put a lot of pressure on myself for no reason - because rarely anything ever went like I wanted since I was just not in control of supply chains, coworkers, client's moods ... After watching this video it felt like this weight has been removed from me, I am able to let things happen naturally and only focus on the things I actually have control over. Thank you so much!💙
@XFry333X
@XFry333X Рік тому
I've been struggling with this recently. This is a perfectly timed video. Thank you.
@Novastar.SaberCombat
@Novastar.SaberCombat Рік тому
"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
@johnnyearp52
@johnnyearp52 Рік тому
It is probably not the best idea to control your emotions. Rather control your actions in response to them.
@ashish_sunny
@ashish_sunny Рік тому
Thank you. I needed this today. To all of ya out there who are struggling, you will be alright. You will come out stronger, better.
@shivjoy
@shivjoy Рік тому
the ability to view ourselves.... our actions, emotions as a third person is very powerful and life-changing
@joannaedwards6325
@joannaedwards6325 Рік тому
Yup. And often finding humorous our bad choices and mistaken behaviors is helpful. I see it. I laugh at it. Then I do better and move on.
@shivjoy
@shivjoy Рік тому
@@joannaedwards6325 you are empowered in a special way. That you are able to move on shows you are detached to situations and consequences.
@joannaedwards6325
@joannaedwards6325 Рік тому
@@shivjoy ✌
@Telltalesign
@Telltalesign Рік тому
I genuinely need this message today. I just had a panic attack a moment ago due to severe anxiety. Somehow the knowledge that often everything is out of our control other than our own actions or response to certain situations helps me focus on the present, and not fear the outcome of tomorrow if will be on my favour or not. Sending hugs. 💞💞
@TheSuperNinjaEX
@TheSuperNinjaEX Рік тому
Same, I never have watched these videos but this is the first one that showed up on my feed and addressed the same problem that's effecting my anxiety.
@leonfric
@leonfric Рік тому
Hi. I hope you start to feel better. For help with panic attacks, I'd like to recommend the book Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast. It works well for me. There's also a phone app, apparently, but I've not used it.
@Telltalesign
@Telltalesign Рік тому
@@leonfric ill check it, thanks. 🫶
@idrinkcoffeeandknowthings
@idrinkcoffeeandknowthings Рік тому
​@leonfric and may i suggest dr clare weekes book even modern physcology refers back to her
@idrinkcoffeeandknowthings
@idrinkcoffeeandknowthings Рік тому
​@@Telltalesignalso dont fear panic attacks i know easier said than done its all just a bodily physical symptoms flight or fight your body is fooled thinking you are in actual danger but actually you are not its just a false alarm
@timtoearth
@timtoearth 10 місяців тому
Thank you so much. I hope you never stop doing what you’re doing. You have helped me throughout difficult times from age 17 till now, 20. I appreciate you.
@zackblessing1017
@zackblessing1017 9 місяців тому
Please never stop these, they help me in so many ways, thank you!
@MrBurns1976
@MrBurns1976 Рік тому
Thank you so much for all you do. These videos are part of my daily spiritual and mental upkeep. You are so appreciated.
@liafuentes326
@liafuentes326 Рік тому
Amazing video! We need to focus only on the things we can control. Life is a learning process and it is easier with these beautiful reminders! Thank you!
@violetsinspring5863
@violetsinspring5863 Рік тому
This one hit home for me! I’m going to listen to it daily for a while! It’s a keeper. Thank you for the great content 💕
@CamoGuy76239
@CamoGuy76239 Рік тому
Thank you. I needed this. It's funny; I often find myself coming undone, losing control of my patience; but then you upload a video, and everytime I'm am reminded of the stoic way of thinking; I find calm, pick myself up, and carry on.
@tonycarboni2002
@tonycarboni2002 Місяць тому
This whole thing was totally amazing and hopefully life-changing. I'm going to go get a notebook and a pen and watch it again and take notes this time. Thanks so much.
@SearchOfSelf
@SearchOfSelf Рік тому
I've learned the hard way that the more I try to control a situation, the less I am in control of it. It's a bitter lesson and one that I have to keep learning 😥
@archravenineteenseventeen
@archravenineteenseventeen Рік тому
Sometimes, you let things happen
@SearchOfSelf
@SearchOfSelf Рік тому
@@archravenineteenseventeen True - sometimes, you just have to accept what life throws at you and make the best of it.
@Trogdor0547
@Trogdor0547 Рік тому
Another great vdeo, thank you. It often happens that the topic you choose is exactly the one I need to hear at that time and so it is with this video. While watching, this thought came to me - I want to be like the captain of a ship on the sea. The captain knows that neither he nor the ship can control the chaotic waves but he also knows that, with his skillful guidance, the ship can safely ride the waves until the sea calms. Seeking the skill to guide our own ship and the wisdom to accept the waves as they are is, perhaps, one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life.
@giancarlorivera8113
@giancarlorivera8113 Рік тому
Thank you so much for another wonderful video. I see things more clearly and is not affected by external factors anymore, I always say (in my mind) what Epictitus said. "you suffer more in imagination, than in reality" and now I also have the courage to undergo any process required, for example: applying for a document in our municipality which is time consuming and a hassle going back and forth, but with your wise words, I overcome all that and got what I needed. to make it short, we all should take our time and give it a shot, no matter what we are trying to do or needed to do, instead of worrying in advanced which will just make us suffer. This channel unlocked my capabilities.
@surfside75
@surfside75 Рік тому
This is my favorite self improvement channel on UKposts. Thank you very much. I'm forever in debt to you♡
@Zectrofr
@Zectrofr Рік тому
Every video on this channel is so deep , knowledgeable and pleasant to watch. We gain wisdom in an entertaining way.
@jdloer
@jdloer Рік тому
I have come to understand that life was a way to teach us more harshly what we are not willing to learn in an easier way. I guess it depends on what type of Trauma each of us have. What I can say to anyone out there who was a Perfectionist complex, due to whatever childhood pressure you must have lived through is this: Give it up, You are Perfect already even if you make lots of mistakes and have failed. If you are looking for external approval, stop and give that approval to your self. Remind yourself or Re learn to do the best you can in whatever circumstance and then let go, the outcome will be the outcome. it took me 45 years to learn that, and I am living in a more balanced way now, and learning to let go of control and just focusing on doing the best I can, and learn to trust life knows much better than I do, and that life was indeed the bigger picture. Blessings to All.
@MrHeleenify
@MrHeleenify Рік тому
I think one point that I felt was not that explicit in this video, but that fits the topic well, is that whatever you choose to control, will consume your mind, and thereby also control you. It is not just about whether the thing you want to control is not behaving according to how you want it to (or maybe it does, who knows) and thereby giving you uncertainty and stress, but also that if you choose to not control the thing, your mind if freed to focus on other things, perhaps something that you can control.
@Keenplaya
@Keenplaya Рік тому
Damn, this channel and these videos are incredibly powerful and amazing. The stress and anxiety comes to complete ease when I watch one of these videos. Thank you for this channel and these videos.
@nicholasvermeulen779
@nicholasvermeulen779 3 місяці тому
Holding your breath means also losing your breath. Bro that is deep. I’ve grown tired of quotes over time but that one hit different 🙏🏻
@bemindfulmuslimah
@bemindfulmuslimah Рік тому
"Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know." (Al Baqarah 216)
@alearner9213
@alearner9213 9 місяців тому
One of the best channels I have come across...❤ Thank you for spreading the wisdom...
@MyLolle
@MyLolle Місяць тому
i just want to say: einzelgänger! you ARE something else...🙌 this is the best educational video i've seen in a while. every second of this video was educational. and this is really hard to achieve. wow. you fed my soul. ❤
@SirinaX
@SirinaX 11 місяців тому
I can't explain how much i needed it at this time. UKposts recommended this to me yesterday but couldn't watch it as i was busy but a feeling came to me that i must watch it so i searched for it again. I'm having a difficult time rn and this video is an eye opener for me. Thank you so much
@joannaedwards6325
@joannaedwards6325 9 місяців тому
Serendipity is so cool. 👌
@ravirajan8740
@ravirajan8740 2 місяці тому
Same happened to me bro
@mariehaverty8209
@mariehaverty8209 9 місяців тому
I dont read papers listen to the news, this is the only way I find peace. I just leave every day to God, everything is always outside my control. Why would I think otherwise? The only thing I know is how I feel in this moment just as it is. ❤
@Sisiphus776
@Sisiphus776 Рік тому
E, you have become like an old wise friend, always there in the background to give well founded advice if needed😊 Your gift to us all will continue to make this world a better place, with your great videos we can understand the reasons behind suffering & orientate ourselves towards a better place. With much appreciation 😊
@tree-stuffer
@tree-stuffer 7 місяців тому
Thank you for sharing stoic philosophy with us. It is a beneficial improvement to my life and I hope this effect is echoed in the lives of countless others.
@endlessentity9931
@endlessentity9931 Рік тому
Going through a really bad (and sinking) friendship right now. Thank you for the wonderful content as always!
@Novastar.SaberCombat
@Novastar.SaberCombat Рік тому
"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)
@shasmi93
@shasmi93 20 днів тому
As a 31 year old man who hasn’t had a single friend in 15 years…. You will be ok. In fact learning to love yourself and be your best friend in the end is fantastic.
@IAm-3_6_9
@IAm-3_6_9 11 місяців тому
Life is a good teacher, as long as you’re a good student
@baileymoran8585
@baileymoran8585 8 місяців тому
I naturally align with most principles of stoicism but I really struggle with fearing things beyond my control. Like, I’ve never been afraid when I’m in control and can’t imagine being afraid of things that are in your hands. Mostly, my fear is with other people who may control my fate, or that of someone close to me. We cannot trust most people we meet. It’s like the trust fall exercise I had to do in middle school. The kid dropped me on purpose. His reprehend was ‘ok, haha, come on now. Take it seriously you guys. If you two act up again you’ll be in trouble,’ lumping me into it. I already knew enough to try and get out of this exercise and yet I could not argue my way out of it, but it was that day that 11 year old me finally said out loud that I didn’t trust others. I’ve been through many natural disasters. Some affected me more than others. I trust I can survive and as bad as it may be, I can figure out how to clean up the aftermath in time. But with other people, you never know when they will hurt you in a way that impacts you forever, just because they felt like ruining your life. People like this are not as rare as sheltered people think. I’ve met several. Humans can be worse than any storm. None have successfully killed me, but some have left my body and health permanently damaged. Unfortunately we have to trust people anytime we go to a doctor, or live with a roommate, or interact with co-workers and employers, and find a long term partner. It’s terrifying because not only are some out to hurt you, but the handful of good people out there make mistakes. They may not want to hurt you but they can, and often do, because they just made a mistake. Those mistakes can hurt you even more than anything else.
@naimasophie
@naimasophie 2 дні тому
That's EXACTLY why I keep trying to control. I even read books on manipulation. Cause my biggest fear is people. People can hurt you so much. And like you said, good or bad people, they will all hurt you intentionally or not so there is no escape and this is terrifying. The more hurt I get, the more isolated I become. I can't myself let go. Cause letting go would mean accepting I'll get hurt again over and over
@brandy3573
@brandy3573 Рік тому
Thank you for posting this video. All the material you release are good reminders for sure
@supremereader7614
@supremereader7614 Рік тому
You just make such amazing videos. Thank you so much. So many love and acknowledge your work.
Рік тому
Thanks again for your generosity. Nice to hear that you (still) appreciate the videos!
@chineseboxer108
@chineseboxer108 Рік тому
"When you do anything to the extreme, you end up doing the opposite of what you originally intended."
@prema_ranga
@prema_ranga 9 місяців тому
The paradox of control is such a profound concept. It's so true that the more we try to control things, especially those beyond our reach, the more they end up controlling us. The story of the man trying to control the floodwaters with a dam was a perfect illustration of this. It's a reminder that we need to let go and accept that we can't control everything. This doesn't mean we should stop trying to improve our circumstances, but we should be mindful of our limitations and the potential consequences of our actions.
@motivationsamuraiofficial
@motivationsamuraiofficial Рік тому
Wow, I can't believe how informative and well-researched this video is. Thank you for sharing!
@spacecowboy3914
@spacecowboy3914 Рік тому
This one is a home run! Great job man
@MasonicAudiobookLibrary
@MasonicAudiobookLibrary Рік тому
Whoever you are who can't sleep tonight, is tired or sad, believe that there will be tomorrow that will light up your beautiful days. You just need to endure a little more, a little more, and a little more ... Thank you for being patient, thank you for being able to survive. And as you read this, promise yourself that you will be able to get through your toughest days in the future. Promise to keep smiling, no matter how you are ... You deserve to be happy :)
@nishant0406
@nishant0406 Рік тому
Thank you for this beautiful message❤ You are a beautiful soul 😍
@Mushrooms0nTrees
@Mushrooms0nTrees Рік тому
Wow, that was so kind of you! Thank you so much!
@shiwalishakya6508
@shiwalishakya6508 Рік тому
Thank you for this really inspiring video. The wisdom you have given us will inevitably help us people a lot in our pursuit of living our life in a more.fulfilled way.
@puffels
@puffels Рік тому
Thankyou for sharing this message, ur timing is perfect. U got a new sub. Keep spreading wisdom & light.❤️
@DrAidan
@DrAidan Рік тому
Really loved the animation in this video. Great moral from the story as well.
@aymenmed2529
@aymenmed2529 Рік тому
8:41 in Quran (But you may hate a thing although it is good for you, and may love a thing although it is evil for you. Allah knows, and you do not know) Sura 2: AL-BAQARA ❤
@darrellborland119
@darrellborland119 9 місяців тому
Your videos are a real help to countless people. We ultimately are responsible for our own happiness and achievements, and consequences of misdeeds. Blaming our travails on outside forces, such as what race we are born as, social status achieved, whatever issues we cling to, boils down to our own responsibility. Another excellent source to break through inner stoppages, are Jordan Peterson's lectures, and his response to the pernicious influence.of evil social forces...a master of inner change. Thanks.😇
@Soldier9478
@Soldier9478 Рік тому
Really good essay, I could see how it's affected many of my own past disasters
@Bodyknowledge77
@Bodyknowledge77 Рік тому
Fighting for control will put you in a hole that will be difficult or impossible to climb out of. Hold on loosely but don't let go. If you cling too tightly, you're going to lose control. Those words previously typed are lyrics from a .38 Special song called 'Hold On Loosely". They fit well with this. Thanks for the thought nutrition and reading this.
@kat9587
@kat9587 11 місяців тому
“I’m not what happened to me; I’m what I choose to become” ❤
@cesarioserrato5306
@cesarioserrato5306 Рік тому
The desire to control everything isn't just out of insecurity but also immaturity
@lemostjoyousrenegade
@lemostjoyousrenegade Рік тому
I agree.
@TheMadisonHang
@TheMadisonHang Рік тому
thank you for delivering philosophy content on youtube it makes it so accessible for a working class gentlemen like me! i don't have time to read and sit down and its just accessible and the breadth of your content, its very useful and convinent ty
@jayantyadav3274
@jayantyadav3274 Рік тому
Thanks for your hard work on this. Your channel have gave m a whole new and peaceful perspective to life. Thank you so much for your help.
@betterchapter
@betterchapter Рік тому
Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat
@StLou-bx4wl
@StLou-bx4wl Рік тому
One step at a time. One day at a time. Only thing different from a bad or good day is what you do about it. Stay strong minded and keep focusing on what matters most. Life is too short to worry about the things you can’t control. Enjoy the journey there’s no destination :)
@garyfrancis6193
@garyfrancis6193 11 місяців тому
True. I often thought depression resulted when bad things happen to you over which you have no control. Here it says the way out of that is to have confidence that you can handle any situation even if it simply means to run away. You can’t control a tornado so get out of its path. But more than that the Chinese farmer is correct. What is good? What is bad? It’s like being angry at circumstances or yourself for being late and missing getting on the Titanic. What looks like bad luck could be the luckiest day of your life. Michael Jackson missed an appointment at the World Trade Centre in New York on Sept 11, 2001 because the night before he had stayed up to 3 AM talking to his mother on the phone. “Damn. Missed my appointment at the WTC this morning because I slept in late. It was important. Maybe tomorrow.”
@techgyanprapti
@techgyanprapti Рік тому
Inspiring!!! I had the fate whenever i tried to control the things around me it controlled me. I couldn’t come out of situation not going in my favour as I lost acceptance and humbleness in the process. It took me time to understand let the life takes in its direction and you just flow with it👍
@markisaki979
@markisaki979 Рік тому
What a coincidence that this video appeared in my feed. During an intense, serious discussion, because I was so increasingly desperate to get my point of view across to a few family members, I didn't realise that I was raising my voice and trying to talk over everyone else. It caused my elder brother, who I had not quarreled with in over a dozen years, to furiously lash out at me. It shocked me so suddenly and badly that I ended up apologising to him immediately afterwards. We made up, but I still feel terrible for provoking him. I wish that this video came to me sooner, but I guess it's a lesson learned nonetheless.
@remitemmos9165
@remitemmos9165 Рік тому
accept what you can’t change, have the courage to change what you can, and more importantly the wisdom to know the difference between the two! same here, no paradox of control, make a choice on what you think you can control. try and fail sometimes, succeed othertimes :)
@newt2120
@newt2120 Рік тому
i have neither 😂
@remitemmos9165
@remitemmos9165 Рік тому
@@newt2120 acceptance it is then :D
@newt2120
@newt2120 Рік тому
@@remitemmos9165 i won't lol. thats my best quality. im always changing, and extremely adaptable to any situations. and failure bas never stopped me. most of my life is described by failure
@gratefulinlove
@gratefulinlove Рік тому
So so beautiful!! Such profound wisdom. Thank you!! ❤️
@sandynoby
@sandynoby 11 місяців тому
I admit that this is the most sensible video I have seen in last few years .... everything said in this vdo is too true ... practical.. especially Farmer tale ..how do we know what's good or what's bad 🙄....deep ...I can say I have faced these situations and good one turned bad and bad one turned good ... 🙏🏼🙏🏼
@Skoopyghost
@Skoopyghost Рік тому
If I try to control my addiction issues. My addiction controls me. If I'm mindful, and I place my addiction into a higher which can be anything. I stay sober.
@craigmerkey8518
@craigmerkey8518 Рік тому
Thank you, very well done! Most "successful" control is created with in a structure and rarely accomplished in isolation!
@puravida5683
@puravida5683 11 місяців тому
Several years ago, I was laid off from a law firm, along with several others. I was devastated. Six months later, I was hired by The Department of Justice. With a higher salary, pension, great benefits, promotions and annual COLAs. I came to realize, the previous layoff was a blessing in disguise!
@ghostface4424
@ghostface4424 10 місяців тому
As long as I can remember,I have been suffering from constant anxiety and derealization/depersonalization..Literally every time I try to think myself out of it and try to control it,the symptoms seem to worsen and the situation becomes almost unbearable..Your videos give me some form of peace and acceptance,thank you.
@Bhappi137
@Bhappi137 10 місяців тому
I have the same symptoms, it’s very difficult to deal with day in day out , night after night , I wish you peace 🙏🏻
@ghostface4424
@ghostface4424 10 місяців тому
@@Bhappi137 Peace to you too brother.
@joannaedwards6325
@joannaedwards6325 9 місяців тому
Please seek professional counseling. A caring psychologist or psychiatrist can really help and there are good meds that can alleviate the troublesome symptoms.❤
@ambervanderhooft
@ambervanderhooft Рік тому
Sometimes it's just hard to find that fine line of where your control stops and the uncontrollable starts. It is not a bad idea to prepare yourself before walking into a mine field, but you can't prepare for absolutely everything.
@twicon87
@twicon87 Рік тому
Thanks for your valuable videos. Being humble is the best strategy. I was stuck in a job I hated and finally left it, the what I thought as "love of my life" left me. The only way to cope is to study and become better. I don't think I would have applied for the university at 36 if I still was in that relationship. Who knows what's good and bad, indeed
@cristinawilliams7870
@cristinawilliams7870 11 місяців тому
We just need to accept what life is. Its very courageous to live like that.nothing ever last forever. Live to the fullest. Don't be afraid have faith.. Stop overthinking nobody will escape death. Be kind always. Thank you for sharing this❤❤❤
@mcintma2
@mcintma2 Рік тому
This reminds me of Sauron, who poured much of his spirit into crafting the One Ring to control the wills of others, and master Middle Earth itself - but ultimately he just ended up making himself critically vulnerable
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