How SOCIETY & CULTURE Leads Us Down A Path Of TRAUMA & ADDICTION

How SOCIETY & CULTURE Leads Us Down A Path Of TRAUMA & ADDICTION | Dr. Gabor Maté

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Today I’m excited to welcome Dr Gabor Maté back to the podcast for a third time. Gabor is a fellow physician, author, speaker and friend who brings warmth and wisdom to every conversation we have. He’s a renowned expert on addiction, trauma, stress and childhood development - and someone with a unique understanding of how our spiritual, emotional and physical lives are connected.
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КОМЕНТАРІ: 1 100

@yukio_saito Рік тому

59:02 "Trauma is not what happened to you. Trauma is what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you."

@Padraigp Рік тому

And sometimes thats not all bad. My cat just got killed. She was the best creature that brought so much joy. She was too cute soft and amaxing in so many ways and now she is a little furry thing in a box. No longer full of life. Just gone. Now a little skeleton with some meat and a fur coat. And the last thing i said is put the cat out she keeps jumping on everything. We were trying to do my sons college portfolio and she kept eanting to play. And i think eating. Were we i cant remmeber. Last thing i said was actually " gently" worried a little that my son might do it rudely. I have rescued three dogs and four cats ... the last one karu was a tiny ball of fluff crying in the night. She was so small. Shes still small. Too small for the car which lilely killed her and too small for the big male tom who was attacking her still warm body when i found her. She was just a cat. Many more. But only one. And everyone is thus. Only one. Many of us and each completely a diamond that is so rare it has no twin. Everything we do ends only one way. I know nothing. Except that i loved my cat and will always love her and always appreicate finding her and always know it was me who put her outside to her doom. I am smoking a ciggarette. I wish the dogs could talk to me. All i can do is love the dogs even more. I already fed the cat who atatcked her and danother tom who came by. Possibly her father. What more can i do. I cant keep everyone inside and away from harm i cant stop war. I cant fix anything. All i can do is love the shards.

@danielmurray9820 11 місяців тому

And excellent point to highlight 👌

@starseeds8121 10 місяців тому

Yes

@berekexer8158 7 місяців тому

How is this insightful? If you believe in determinism, that's a no brainer. The whole basis of education system no?

@jennielai2459 10 місяців тому

It’s a lonely road to choose authentic. You need to be ready to lose everyone you love. I have never regret my choice because those I lost I realized that they never loved me as I am. It’s a shame to be forced to live in lies.

@sharynmain2432 7 місяців тому

Yes… be prepared when you wish to treat yourself better and then expect others to follow suit… you will without doubt loose loved ones , friends and acquaintances. It is the sad nature of the beast.

@Luella-zg1og 6 місяців тому

Totally agree. I've lost so many people now I've set boundaries, got sober and just not tolerating people who only want YOU to listen to them yet THEY don't listen to anything that's going on in your life.

@elizabethk3238 5 місяців тому

You're so right. Have to stay away from people who do not make you feel good about yourself. This includes siblings, or even parents or in extreme cases a child.

@queenjahneen100 5 місяців тому

Wow. Sometimes I feel like the only one. Everyone disappeared when I chose to be authentic. I didn’t see that coming. However, I wouldn’t change it although you’re right, it has been a lonely road.

@MilagrosGreen-jf9fs 4 місяці тому

I’m trying to do exactly what you did!

@BecomeConsciousNow Рік тому

I love how honest and compassionate Gabor is. You can learn from honest people because there's no agenda, just honest, truthful, helpful advice.

@saramae194 Рік тому

So accurate. There is a tenderness yet physiological evidence of what he believes.

@dhgfffhcdujhv5643 11 місяців тому

Have you seen his sons work ?

@ritevibe 11 місяців тому

@@dhgfffhcdujhv5643 no - what do they do?

@dhgfffhcdujhv5643 11 місяців тому

@@ritevibe you can simply look up Aron Mate ...

@andreilucian10 9 місяців тому

So natural..

@loridouglas5576 Рік тому

What a lovely world it will be when all the doctors bring this perspective to health care 🙏🏻

@johnbagewll2321 Рік тому

It’s a God send that these platforms exist. You won’t find this realism from the therapist you pay.

@MsJessyJess 10 місяців тому

Medical mafia is only interested in money

@MegaDiva1999 9 місяців тому

if only. If only they were reflective, selfaware, humble and knew that they are NOT God and not above mistakes, perceptions, wrongdoing and the obligation to learn and to listen

@violet807 8 місяців тому

Black women get sick because most of them are obese, with diabetes and sickle cell anemia.

@scarletohara6743 8 місяців тому

I'm not waiting for the doctors. I'll be dead by the time they catch up with what's possible. So I do all I can. That is not to say that I haven't spent ample time in therapists offices of all ilks. They often harm as much as they help which is to say they do help sometimes and you can't be naive about that.

@michikohiggins8011 Рік тому

I had struggled with this mental dilemma for the past 54 years without really knowing the answer as to how to fix until tonight. Thank you, Dr. Mate. I'm from Vancouver also and have heard your name everywhere. I shed tears tonight and felt I finally found the answer to my questions I carried so many years. Now I'm on my way to repair and heal. I am 78 going on 79 next month. Thank you. You re indeed god-sent. Michiko Higgins

@trinitytwo14992 Рік тому

Congratulations! YOU CAN DO IT

@kesiafix6131 Рік тому

Inspiring, thank you for sharing!

@symcardnel1741 Рік тому

I picked up at 15 years of age and felt free and confident for the first 15 years of using (only when drunk, high, etc). 30 years later and I still try to pick up to kill the constant pain (fear, dis-ease... that turned to shame, guilt and many disasters over time). It's bizarre... for the past few years I get buzzed on 2 beers and drunk on 4.I physically can no longer tolerate even the 2 yet I still reach for it after going 3 to 7 days w/o. Ahhhhh... I was going to ask you... how many 'wala' moments have you had in your life? Like the one you say here... I've had at least 100 and maybe 1000... after reading or hearing 'something'.

@nicodemus2848 Рік тому

Just go for it... And through it Michiko. Wish you peace, Nico

@FiberFairy22 Рік тому

❤❤❤

@ClickUp Рік тому

I am a recovering gambler, alcoholic, diagnosed with BPD. In a lot of pain. I like Gabors approach. Makes me feel human.

@tejaswinizumbre Рік тому

Good luck and best wishes to you.. Don't give up.. Never give up and keep trying.. Your pain will subside.. Time is also a great healer.. Having faith helps a lot too.. My ex BF has BPD.. He came out of addiction after years of trying.. Finally, he could make it .. He is sober for over a year now and he is doing well.. Keeo up your good work and efforts. you will too free yourself from the debilitating pains... Try to disidentify from your pains.. Read the book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.. that talks about being in the present.. it will certainly help more.. . God bless.. 🙏🌺🌸🌺🌸👍👍⚘

@majorerr0r840 Рік тому

Ive always felt the same. Like I was a different race. Always feel alone, even if there is people around me that cares. C-PTSD+ I feel you mate..

@leannefaulkner-charve6910 Рік тому

And you are human! You’re lovely and you know it🤗💪

@angelinapearson5560 Рік тому

You DESERVE to feel Human, Worthy, Loveable 🙏🏼 🌟

@aallerton Рік тому

You ARE human. I don't know if you are a man or a woman, young or old, don't know anything about you besides that same pain that I still struggle with as a recovering alcoholic and addict. I believe myself to be human, so you must be too. Wish you all the best. It does get better.

@melaniesollows1449 Рік тому

I’m a heroin addict, and have bin sober on and off for a long time. But Gabor always speaks to me. ❤️

@thehylers1021 Рік тому

You are not a heroin addict. You are a thoughtful, caring person who has used heroin in the past to make yourself feel better. God bless you!

@ktbaby5237 Рік тому

@@thehylers1021 WoW that's the way to put it! Big thanks for this!...

@LoveLove-no7zz Рік тому

I care for you !!!! I was not raised by my parents and neither was my sister my sister was molested by my cousin who was raised by my sickly grandmother she also raised me so my cousin and I more like brother and sister turns out he molested my sister when she was 4 years old So now I don't know how to treat my brother/cousin I do love him just as much as I love my sister but I'm not able to show it and I don't know why Unfortunately he is addicted to heroin now and I pray he can overcome his troubles I don't want to overdose or something I care for you !!!!!!!!!!! And I don't know you Take care of yourself I love you !!!

@nmorto2013 Рік тому

Congrats on your recovery

@yomommasfavoritesugarbaby8290 Рік тому

NA is the only way

@lettyyeow9389 4 місяці тому

I need to listen to dr Mate at least once a day it helps me to understand myself after80+years of trauma and manic bipolar depression I have decided to live the best I can with God’sgrace and mercy.

@wanelisaxaba6172 Місяць тому

@lettyyeow9389 I am proud of you and with you the very best in your healing journey

@elizabethwilliams6651 3 місяці тому

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 3 місяці тому

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

@Jennifer-bw7ku 3 місяці тому

Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

@AnjeloValeriano 3 місяці тому

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

@APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 3 місяці тому

Is he on instagram?

@Jennifer-bw7ku 3 місяці тому

Yes he is. dr.sporesss

@alexandrainnes6142 11 місяців тому

I've watched many interviews of Gabor Mate. I've never seen him enjoy and resonate so much with his interviewer. Rangan Chatterjee and he are on the same heart-level. It's really lovely.

@harrietjohnson1930 9 місяців тому

I so agree. They’re on one accord for truth and well being.

@CeceKruchkoSmith Рік тому

Thank you Doctors. You both have truly earned the title. I'm healing even while 15 years homeless. And all for free. And I'm down to only 1 destructive addiction. Only 1 from 3 😁: People pleaser Alcohol Nicotine Replacement non destructive addictions: Education Love of life 🧡

@almamikaliukas547 Рік тому

Go girl!!!

@erinreily5920 Рік тому

You are amazing!!💝

@mollycote1021 Рік тому

Excellent!🎉❤

@crazyladytracy Рік тому

❤ love to you, you've done so well. ❤

@SuperLammens Рік тому

wonderfull, drop the guilt or shame if you have any about yr homelessness. This industrial work centered model is destroying people's safety and and emotional needs for unconditional love. You and all humans are worthy of love and physical and emotional safety, but the system based on fear is causing damage to our self worth when we don't achieve their goals of obediance, learning, ... Human needs are the last thing the political elites care about. from a young age we are bullied in leaving our truth and essential needs. They have control through media, money and wor.

@OptimusRon23 Рік тому

I just wish that every doctor was as good as Rangan and Gabor. Medicine has failed the country and these guys need so much more credit! Thank you Dr Rangan and Dr Gabor!

@SavannahVu1985 5 місяців тому

I totally agree 100%! If only doctors took the same approach as these who men instead of shoving endless amounts of extreme drugs down their throats.

@campbecd 3 місяці тому

Medicine is not the reason we only have 15 minutes per patient over a long day of many appointments, it's capitalism. Capitalism is also the reason the average patient is less educated than is possible, which also leads to more health concerns aka yet more appointments/patients in the already overburdened system. Those in the medical field that don't work for an insurance company are trying to help, they're doing the best our terrible system that prioritizes profit over health from birth to death allows them to do. If you want a better healthcare system, start educating your populace so they can see the stupidity of our system vs making it seems like doctor's have failed.

@16Elless Рік тому

What a raw & honest conversation from both sides. I resonated with a lot of it. I’m 60+ & my mom was 35 when I was born & she came from the era of “children should be seen & not heard”. I see now that even as a small child I adapted my behaviour to fit that. I’ve never thought of my childhood as particularly bad, but I certainly didn’t get the love & understanding that I think children need, which I saw many friends getting. I believe my mom saw it as discipline. If I spoke out of turn there were consequences, which I learned quite early on. Obviously the way she brought me up reflected how she was brought up & looking back I know she never got any support from her parents when I was little and I suspect she didn’t get much when my brother was born 8 years before me. I chose not to have children myself & I believe my upbringing had a lot to do with that decision. My mom was strict & often impatient with me & I’ve always felt I didn’t have the necessary qualities needed to be a good parent because I’m quite a lot like her in many ways. Thanks for such a thought provoking conversation. A real “must listen”.

@tejaswinizumbre Рік тому

Thanks for sharing.. my story is very similar to yours.. A very strict & impatient mother and a childhood without love, understanding and emotional support.. i needed to work a lot on myself. I am ok and doing well... Wishing you the very best.. God bless.. 🌸🌺🌸🌸🌺

@joylamb8164 Рік тому

Thank you SO much for expressing yourself!! Really relate...especially the "not worthy" feelings to have the qualities necessary to love and raise a child with that heart, full.

@MsBettyRubble Рік тому

Sadly, that Era of "children should be seen and not heard" is generations old. Chances are, your great grandparents lived under the same tyranny. Let's hope Gabor Maté's philosophy replaces Dr. Spock very soon. Thanks for sharing your story. It's so important for us to realize how much trauma we have in common.

@nevadatan7323 Рік тому

I repeatedly heard the "children soon be seen and not heard" line from my parents, and that was in the 80s/90s. I grew up in a somewhat physically comfortable home, so I never realised that actually I had been emotionally abused and neglected until very recently. I'm struggling with a lot of mental disorders and addictions and am just learning how cptsd impacts life development. I'm incredibly angry because I believe my mother's temperament, her manner towards me, her unpredictability, rages... it all came from a place of narcissism. I wasn't beaten, I was actively ignored and made to feel worthless and now completely believe it on a fundamental level. Its very upsetting.

@gk-mt3vy Рік тому

Maybe you find some further assistance in this video - came out today ukposts.info/have/v-deo/naSeqJmmpn6KwJs.html

@almamikaliukas547 Рік тому

I work with children with disabilities. What they both teach is vital information. It should be TAUGHT in middle schools and high-schools, to help people grow up with a chance of awareness and agency.

@suzanneemerson9787 Рік тому

Alma, when you say it should be taught in middle schools and high schools, you are presuming that those teachers are mentally healthy and whole people. I am here to tell you they are not. Some can’t make it in the adult world, so they seek a position where they have authority and power over kids. Many of them believe in strict discipline, judgement, and severe punishment. I know. I quit because of the attitudes of my fellow faculty members towards children. I couldn’t believe the destructive things they were saying to and about kids. They were treating children cruelly in pursuit of their own power. Ridicule was rampant. I’m not saying that’s every reacher, but far too many. Don’t assume.

@karendalsadik7119 Рік тому

@@suzanneemerson9787 wow, thank you for sharing that. It’s validating of my childhood public school experience. However, in order to teach this those teachers would have to learn the info. Don’t you think it could elevate teachers willing to learn and the ones who objected would hit the road?

@visionvixxen 3 місяці тому

🙏🙏🙏 yes yes yes. I’m 50 years old and lost. My brain is tired of searching for and unraveling what and how To change so I won’t say more

@visionvixxen 3 місяці тому

@@suzanneemerson9787right… you speak clear trut

@declanconlon4216 Рік тому

Brilliant session as usual. Gabor Mate is an amazing person - so honest and enlightening. What energy and intellectual capacity at age 78! 🙏🏻

@rachelcaldwell330 Рік тому

Yes yes yes Namaste Derian C 🙏 Thank you for your post it resonates with me as I totally agree with the amazing beautiful intelligent man. He has helped me get through my A-class very huge destructive addiction leading me to realize i had/have many more all boiling down to a lifetime of eating disorders which lead me to my younger years the sexual abuse i wasn't allowed to express my feelings so pushed them down causing health problems and I continued to push them down after many more abusive horrific traumas and 3months before getting my counselling degree i was diagnosed with MS 2013 n I am grateful as I am physically all good unless I allow the MS to be in control. But Thank you Matè as i am now studying to be a therapist- clinician for people with eating disorders. I am blessed to have found you Matè Gabor aa you have played a huge role in my healing journey. If i could hug you i would ask you if I could and give you a HUGE HUG 🙏

@mtm00 Рік тому

I agree! (Although you could have stopped at "What energy and intellectual capacity.") (What are you suggesting by mentioning his age?)

@declanconlon4216 Рік тому

@@mtm00 It was not an ageist comment - I just mentioned age because he is a very good example of working and thinking at what he loves - I'm 67 and I have retired from my job 3 years ago - but I now Life Coach and teach Mindfulness and love learning, reading, studying, working out etc. I mentioned it to encourage other people to keep themselves mentally, intellectually, spiritually and physically active and live life to the full. Evidence is that many people don't. 🙏🙂

@mtm00 Рік тому

@@declanconlon4216 Thanks for your response. I wish you the whole health and longevity you encourage.

@carolynw45 Рік тому

@@mtm00 Yes I agree, what is this thing about 'age'?

@floraashley8848 Рік тому

This is one of the best exchanges between 2 people that I've ever heard. Both being truly authentic.

@ajohnson6904 8 місяців тому

THIS IS A CONVERSATION THAT SHOULD BE MANDATORY FOR EVERY HIGH SCHOOLER to listen to and absorb.

@marianabolivar4740 Рік тому

I love the vulnerability of both Dr Mate and Rangan. So sincere and speaking from the heart.

@michaelknapp8961 Рік тому

When I was a kid in 1970’s I had a pretty severe learning disability (ADHD). Well, the one major thing that I remember about myself back then was how stressed out I was!! With stress and worrying and self doubt pounding through my young mind every single day, no wonder I did poorly in school. If I knew how to calm down and felt understood and loved myself more I would have had a lot more success back then. My family was stressed so I became stressed.

@visionvixxen 3 місяці тому

Yes. You’re the first here talking about neurodivergence and how IT itself can be a source of stress. This stress can happen when your family isn’t and you are- misunderstanding, moral judgement, etc. It can happen even more if they are the same and no one understands themselves or knows anythjng. It’s survival /fear mode and literally real not just because of feelings because with executive function deficits and collective trauma from this, life IS objectively and procedurally very very challenged. So it’s not just the emotions . They are very very very important but oftrntimes with us, only the emotions are treated and other stuff/ not so much Or were “helped” through a general neurotypical model- which doesn’t translate. Anyway, I’m dealing with untangling generation, cultural, probable depression, maybe schizotypal, definitely add and asd tendencies in a family where no one from that culture looked at any of this. I’m the family patient, 50 now and still not financially or emotionally independent. I’m starting to feel a lot older and worn down and worry about how to live with or without my vyvanse. Basically I’m holding lord because after much work, my brain soul and body are just very very tired Like a person preserved while frozen can’t help it But simultaneously get very bored and tired of being confused and not living- and also others seeing me this way- and I start worrying and listening to this stuff Really want to be reset and saved

@stagecoachhighgate7646 Рік тому

I'm only discovering how childhood trauma has been affecting my life and watching this session will help me to take more agency over it. As a result I trained to become a Mindfulness Coach so I could help myself, my children and others. Yes. our nervous system needs Compassionate Inquiry so we can become kinder to ourselves and thus kinder to others - HUMANKIND relies on us all.

@sharynmain2432 7 місяців тому

Yes the nervous system that has to support a human body in todays world is overloaded. Too many people tightly packed together living, pitted against each other to not just succeed but tick over without being a burden. I have been saying this for the last 10+ years, the pendulum has gone too far the other way, common sense and civility is losing the prevalence in our society. I have invested a lot of time in keeping on my side of the street doing my best to add to society but it is very hard when so many feel entitled , intrusive and feel they can intrude on others without being welcomed first. Personal space and feeling safe wherever we are is essential to our nervous system and regulating our emotions so we can all prosper to help ourselves along with others.

@dizzle0_0 5 місяців тому

I've struggled with addiction all my life. I love you all and please know your not alone.

@HeartFeltGesture Рік тому

We've sacrificed our authenticity as children in order to survive and get love crumbs from our shitty parents, and now we don't know who we are because we suppressed that authenticity.

@HeartFeltGesture 6 місяців тому

@@iainwhite5475 All sarcasm aside, of course its intergenerational trauma. But if you dont understand a thing about narcissistic parental abuse, I advise you to jog on.

@iainwhite5475 6 місяців тому

Hi Acidbay aka Heartfelt. Please don't read me wrong, I'm not making fun of you, me, your parents or mine. I happen to have been a carer of a loved one for several decades who is as narcissistic as hell. Maybe I am too, even if I don't think so; though I can after many years see how being an over-indulgent parent (me) can be a bad thing too. Why might I be over-indulgent, well, living in wealthier times than my pre-war parents, the pressures on them were different to the pressures and expectations on me which are different to the pressures on my adult child. My parents were about survival. My generation, a mix of indulgence and a greater expansion of consciousness outide our village, town, city, country, continent ... and a desire for our kids not to be slaves to our egos but friends. Compassion is needed to those who have harmed us, intentionally or not. (And to those who haven't). If we don't have it to give even our "shitty parents", then we probably won't have much for others, or even ourselves. Please listen to Dr. Maté around 1:04:30 ... he addresses the difference between parental blame and society as a whole. Later in the talk Dr. Chatterjee adds "blame and guilt doesn't help anyone". Compassion, compassion, compassion. I will delete my original message HeartFelt AcidBoy and this reply if it is causing you grief. There is no monopoly on suffering. Let me know. Be well.

@amberinthemist7912 2 місяці тому

@iainwhite5475 not everyone wants to roll over for their narc parents. You sacrifice your life to care for someone who wouldn't care for you. People who care more for themselves and wouldn't sacrifice their life that way aren't lacking in compassion we just have more for ourselves than our narc parents.

@HeartFeltGesture 2 місяці тому

@@amberinthemist7912 You suggest I wanted to roll over? Scapegoated since year zero. It wasnt a choice. I eventually gained my own power despite being brainwashed from the beginning, now that is what I call strength and power!

@SweetUniverse Рік тому

I'll never forget how I felt when I finished my first 100K word novel, even though it was crap. I had been writing for myself - to see if I could do it, and I did. I had no additional conditions on myself like selling my novel.

@mywaybyshynggys 10 місяців тому

I can’t wrap my head around the fact that he’s 79! He’s a legend alive.

@eSKAone- 9 місяців тому

Don't get pressured. Everyone will waste their live. Just have fun with it, and try to be kind 💟

@richstwart2079 11 місяців тому

Doctors who push drugs and don't truly listen to patients are like an assembly line of patients is dictated by the health insurance Industry. Don't look for compassion from them. They should heed this content from these 2 compassionate doctors and learn. This video is gold.

@gazels11 Рік тому

When Gabor Maté speaks, people listen. I love his brain. Love his insights. Thanks Dr. Chattergee! I love your channel!

@llkoolbean4935 Рік тому

We are lucky to have this man and his message. Bless Dr. Maté 🙏♥️

@emmadilemma3602 Рік тому

Wow, I started off nodding at things discussed and ended up crying at hearing things actually being said that resonate so much. Thank you.

@LAKSHMIANGELES Рік тому

YOU 2 DRS SHOULD B TEACHING AT MEDICAL SCHOOLS. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK💖 🌺✌🏾💚🌺

@Saoirse-xt7mi 11 місяців тому

Agreed! Recently I came across the information explaining why medical schools produce "pill pushers", not physicians dedicated to finding out WHY a person is sick, and prescribing lifestyle changes and less toxic, limited medication protocols that would facilitate real healing. Apparently, not only was John D. Rockefeller an oil barron, but much too influential in how our physicians were trained in medical school. He thought prescription meds should be used rather than any holistic treatments, regardless of their effectiveness. Of course, the medications he thought should be used were made from petroleaum products!!!! His influenece even carried over into creation of 2 prominent medical association still in effect today. Once I read this information, I no longer wonder why the U.S. medical system operates the way it does. It seems more than our government needs a complete overhaul!

@Myheartofthematter 9 місяців тому

I'm in the UK, and this culture scares the shit out of me. For decades I was misled to believe this a fault of mine, and the only times I felt at ease with myself and continue to feel this ease primarily when away from other people and surrounded by unadulterated nature was a fantasy land of my own making. I got so lost following society's rules and now in my 60th year I've returned back to myself only this time knowing it's no fantasy, this society is that and although I know I needed to take that journey to realise which way is up, I feel really sad that for so long of not trusting myself, so much stress that my body is wrecked. I'm grieving and angry about what this culture does to life as I look around and see everyone struggling with it, mostly those who pretend they are full of life, their eyes tell another story as their behaviour demonstrates, such behaviour that I once believed I was envois of, it turned out it was the attention they received that I was missing. I don't want that kind of attention anymore, I just want and need to be loved as I am authentically. I don't have money, I don't have a paid job, I don't have property, I don't have health, I had it all taken. I was isolated when I wasn't authentic and isolated because I don't hide who I am by pretending to be something I'm not and I say no to the pressures others place on me to conform. The simplest need to be loved yet the hardest to find in such an oppressive society!

@ruthcov 5 місяців тому

I love you.❤

@AnnaBarbara-cb2rv 4 місяці тому

🙏💜☮️⭐️

@solarhydrowind 4 місяці тому

♀️⚖️🦒🦋

@visionvixxen 3 місяці тому

Wow. This is me to a T and I’m just being supported by my parents. At 50. I don’t know how to fully do what you’re doing because I need to survive… and having several issues need some help and degree of physical and mental comfort. I wish this could all be solved with prayer because it’s just too much

@lenogillis797 Рік тому

In a world seemingly focussed on superficial BS, THIS channel gives me something I find worth listening to. Thank you.

@cutzymccall7675 Рік тому

As a writer this helped me. Fundamentally, I feel very peaceful and happy inside of myself. If the book I’m writing fails to sell, it won’t change my inner happiness. I have my issues, but daily meditation and learning from great people like these have helped me accept everything that happens to me with grace and gratitude. In fact, that is my daily prayer. The gratitude is for lessons learned, i.e., wisdom.

@davidkong3369 Рік тому

Jhhhhhhgkhhhhhghjhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhjhjhggphhhhhhhhhhgjhhhhhhpghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjvhhhchjjjgoovhjhhhhhjoohhhhhhjvhhhjhhghghhvogojvghpcjhhjjhghhhhghjvhhjjhhojhhhhhhhhhhchcoghchcioccchttt55755555555555555555

@davidkong3369 Рік тому

5555555555555555555

@davidkong3369 Рік тому

5555555555555555555555

@davidkong3369 Рік тому

555565

@davidkong3369 Рік тому

I have attached 5 for your reference and 66k to the email and the 5 75 I have

@wendyneilson8422 11 місяців тому

There are no words to describe how insightful this conversation is, if only people had the patience to really listen.

@beverlycocks8765 2 місяці тому

Being satisfied , giving and loving ❤

@Loveandlight821 Рік тому

These 2 men having this conversation. Sharing. THIS is when I love the internet. They nail the particular pressure from immigrant parents. My parents came from poverty, communism, family violence, addiction and the trauma of WW2. I’m 60yo shortly but feel 40yo. I’m finally questioning everything I was raised with, believe etc as I see I have put the same pressure on my daughter as I had and she is suffering. The last 5-10years I have focussed to be more me and let her be the same. It’s difficult. Society, family etc don’t encourage it. This video makes it more urgent to let go of everything that isn’t me and love my daughter unconditionally.

@Teresinhadaniel Рік тому

So gratefull for your comment. I did the same with my adult son, for almost three decades and I regret it. I'm fighting everyday not to blame myself, because what I did was always based on what I knew best. My son and I have the most wonderful relationship. But yet, I'm trying to clean all the mess left behind. Once more, thank you so much for what you said, it helped me a lot!

@visionvixxen 3 місяці тому

Same here. So hard. I’m currently just laying low because I need a break and too tired of figuring this out.

@karih9592 Рік тому

I was constantly asking if this is really the life I was meant to live. It felt so empty. I felt so alienated. So, I avoided these feelings by trying to live the "normal life". Then one day my normal life literally crashed into a wall. That produced an anxiety I had never felt before. The first time in my life I felt uncertain, uncertain about myself, uncertain about my purpose. Now I know that it was a blessing. Now I know the meaning of my life.

@paulbaurichter7228 Рік тому

I myself had what I call a "Hell week" a year ago. It started me on a new path. Gabor Mate has validated my experience and my life has slowly been changing. Your not alone Kari.

@margaretbishop7001 Рік тому

You’re not alone 😊 🙏 I wish you well.

@richardscathouse Рік тому

🥱🥱🥱 IME life is what you get while making other plans. Nothing has suited me yet. On the good side I'm almost done 60yrs old. And have learned some valuable lessons. Like "Don't Go into the Light!" that's the recycle port. I've had my fill, thanks 😊

@natet5959 7 місяців тому

I haven't succeeded yet, so I haven't experienced the empty, sinking feeling. I guess I'm grateful for that, but it's still frustrating. I've been a musician all of my life and I've realized recently that I'm not going to be rich and famous, but I still enjoy doing it. At this point, I just want validation and appreciation.

@traceyduty6440 7 місяців тому

The complete and wholeness and happiness i.m 53 and am just now feeling this

@lime2448 Рік тому

I could listen to Gabor for days man his wisdom is truly fascinating

@nutopiansg7613 9 місяців тому

"A WISE MAN LEARNS FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS"

@noellecuisine8912 Рік тому

Thank you for this beautiful conversation❤! I’m 53 years old and have been working at healing my traumas, my childhood traumas since around my 20s, and although I have come a long way, I can still resonate and cry, When hearing the story of Gabor with his child and his own traumas when he was a young father. Our father was also wounded, and stayed in denial almost till his death , He denied even what he did to us as he was beating us when we were kids and he did more especially with our brother….I know he was hurt and damaged by what happened probably in his youth, and the wounding goes on and on, as I also lost my nerves when I was a young mother, passing on what I so wanted to not pass on….. we live in a world where we all need healing, where we all need so much love and space to do the work, where we need so much unconditional love, for this will transform our world, this will heal what promotes pain, domination, abuse, use, through this awareness may we become, The simple wonderful human beings and healing forces that we so need for selves and for the well-being of all❤

@lisatroni677 7 місяців тому

Me too……and I judge myself for not getting well earlier

@HM-mw7cg Рік тому

The convo from 40mins onwards really speaks to why I'm so weary of the likes of Ali Abdaal and the productivity/health gurus like him all over social media atm. Every now and then you catch a post that exposes just how little life and emotional experience they have

@therealatine Рік тому

Gabor, you are a hero of our time. May the world pay attention and heal

@rinkinkel 10 місяців тому

I wouldn't say my chronic disease was the best thing that ever happened to me, in fact it was among the worst, but it has taught me that I must allow myself to be happy at least some of the time and look at how I truly feel in the morning. I was amazed the first time I allowed a positive feeling to enter my thoughts. That made a new pathway in my brain, that I can now walk more often.

@moosh35 11 місяців тому

I'm learning so much here. I didn't realize how much growing up in a home with a parent who had trouble with alcohol and another parent who didn't communicate at all was so detrimental to how I grew up. My belief was that my feelings were not valid or important because the attention was on the alcoholic and it's triggered me as an adult in situations. Suppressing my feelings has caused me health problems in many ways including R.A, Dysphonia and depression. I'm searching for help to be healthy internally and these videos are really helping me to understand myself.

@WM37980 11 місяців тому

I have recently learnt that ‘an alcoholic parent holds the strings to every single thing that happens in the house’. They take away all your power, and its very hard to start to get it back!

@rosacoelhozcll 10 місяців тому

I have attempted to meditate many times in my life and prior to this CD the only success I've experienced is with live guided meditation. ukposts.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq This is the first CD I've used that cuts through my unmedicated ADHD and enables me to truly relax and experience a quiet and energizing interval. The instructors voice is very soothing and pleasant to listen to. I am easily able to sit successfully through the entire CD, and for quite some time after. I cannot adequately express how tremendously helpful this CD has been on my spiritual journey!! Two thumbs up and 10 stars!

@upendasana7857 Рік тому

I love Dr Chatterjee.I'll never forget the first time seeing him on BBC tv and bei g so amazed to see this doctor who had a different approach to most doctors and saw the whole person rather than just peoples illnesses. I have totally seen him change in the years he has done these podcasts and find his openness and readinesd to share his own personal process very endearing. I just wish I had a GP I could go to like him and can only hope more doctors take on his approach. Also I have to say about meeting a clinical psychologist is in my experience many of them had it done much self work unless it has changed in recent years but the people I knew who trained in clinical psychology it was still pretty much academic and not much self awareness.

@tzmythos Рік тому

What a wonderful person Dr Maté is, so genuine, modest and deeply compassionate. And I have now learned enough about who you are, Dr Chatterjee, to know that you are the real thing. Excellent discussion. Thank you for this video, and all the others that I will listen to over time.

@rhondagrant9388 Рік тому

Compassion is really gone in the medical field. Chronic pain for 20plus years yet only given pills. Prednisone shots quick fix. Honestly it’s got me totally dumbfounded. This video hit hard. Thank you.

@MrBexx1 Рік тому

Have you ever tried to change your diet? 1 month only green smoothies and a little sport. Most people want the quick fix because of comfort.

@mandyhill3378 Місяць тому

Thank you for explaining the reason why I am an addict,Dr.Gabor is a Master.😊

@sheiladuke3289 Місяць тому

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@nathananderson8720 4 місяці тому

This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my UKposts channel 9 months ago about self development. Now I have 1,520 subs and > 1,000 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.

@nicolejna Рік тому

Rangan thank you from the bott of my heart for this wonderfull Episode....I actually cryed weile listening. I am a mama of 2 dealing with my own childhood Trauma, parenting guilt and what society thinks i should Deal with my kids...I am doing so much Hard work on myself and this Episode bringst me soooo mich Joy. Thank you for makeing me feel normal. Your work and yout Podcast is just so special.

@grassyfields2293 Рік тому

Congratulations to you for addressing your issues at this point in your life! I was in the same position 36 years ago, but I’ve only started addressing my own issues at 71.5. I have so much guilt and regret for all the mistakes I made with my 2 children. And they go round and round in their lives, suffering with the same issues. A sad generational legacy. Prayers for you as you move forward and face these things now. Much love to you! You’re a wonderful mother to recognize what you have and what you think you should do! I admire you so very much! ❤

@suwansatahoo8085 Рік тому

@@grassyfields2293 You’re bold and wise for not using your age and the fact that your kids are grown to prevent you from working on yourself…. Love and light to you, you are inspiration

@grassyfields2293 Рік тому

@@suwansatahoo8085 thank you. That means a lot to me and gives me continued encouragement.

@aug.jam.1 Рік тому

Hands down one of the best UKposts interviews with Dr.Maté. Actually someone who is in sync, I have unfortunately seen many where they don't actually even listen what was said. Not their fault, they might still be not getting it, which I hope they do someday. That's why I felt this video was even more eye opening. Dr. Maté's books are actually really good and helped me more than those dozens of visits to my doctor, not saying you should buy the books and not go to the doctor, not at all, I'm sure Dr.Maté would agree, especially if you can't afford it either choice, but at least watch and finish this and various other videos, it is so eye opening. Thank you Dr. Chatterjee for this, much love from Mexico

@cutzymccall7675 Рік тому

This is why 12 step groups work for so many: it’s a “tribe” for disparate people getting together for their common good -actually creating their own tribe, a very creative process. You can come and go freely, too. Though of course we are always “judging” others, the basic tenet of recovery support groups is that we don’t judge, nor do we “recruit” or compete. I do see how we are all addicted to something and many of those addictions are overlooked. I’m addicted to online streaming films and dramatic series. I’ve wasted hours of my life just sitting there watching my screen. Talk about delusional and yes harmful to my body. i live alone so I’m sure this provides me with a feeling of belonging and of course pleasure I’m not getting being with other people since my husband died, friends left my city for jobs and family obligations and the pandemic further isolated me from normal social interactions.

@wilmalv Рік тому

I am addicted, at times, to Telegram Chat groups that came about because of the Pandemic. Lots of connection there and I have made friends from around the world:)

@amandalynngibson8332 Рік тому

Loved your comment! I also live alone, in a quiet rural place. I moved here, only an hour away from my prior home-base of 32 years, just 4 years ago. I had loved & grown up in 12 step recovery for 35 years, but it has devolved into very sick, toxic & polluted tribe in this area. Plenty of folks collecting medallions for years of "sobriety". Cuz "not drinking" =sobriety. Hardly. I hope & pray to be able to relocate nearer a healthy tribe. A brain injury in 2019 compounds my challenges. I love this new life of solitude. But I am self soothing in addictive behaviors to cover the loneliness. I am not perfect. Yet I am worthy of love & compassion. That is my #1 job; take care of me.🙏

@houndmother740 Рік тому

agree completely. I live by myself too and I know what you mean. and I'm in 12 step.

@tejaswinizumbre Рік тому

Thanks for sharing... 🙏🌸🌺🌸

@tejaswinizumbre Рік тому

@@amandalynngibson8332 Thanks for sharing... Your situation is totally understandable.. I m not someone suffering from addictive behavior but my BF did.. he is sober for over a year now.. he is in 12 step and he says the same thing to me as you in this message.. It was as good as him talking...EXACTLY the same words..!! .. like how toxic the people in his circle have become and how sickening it is and he had even stopped going to the meetings whereas I kept telling him to ignore them and not to take their individual attitudes too seriously and focus on his healing only even as he mingles with them.. And now he's back attending the meetings and this time with a new approach.. he is enjoying it now, not that the people there have changed but he deals with them differently - (or rather indifferently!) - and it's helping him.... I know it's easier said than done but not being irritated, triggered is a difficult skill to achieve but not impossible... .. We are from Mumbai, India... Looks like people everywhere are same; they can be superficial, annoying, arrogant, disrespectful and usually trigger your deep-rooted pains.. Where are we going to run away if people are going to be the same more or less or we are going to be the same more or less?? Happy to know you found solace in a new quiet place... Not criticizing.. you probably did the right thing.. Good luck to you in all your endeavors... You are totally worthy of love, respect and compassion.. you are a beautiful soul.. God bless... Love from India... 😊🌸🌺🌸🌺⚘⚘⚘

@PouthSaw Рік тому

Authenticity has always been one of my most important core values. It's so refreshing hearing two "successful" people speak with such depth and honesty. I'll be purchasing each of these guys' books.

@emmamorrison8518 Рік тому

I wish all doctors were trained to be like this. We would be a much healthier world if they were.

@Guddilove801 8 місяців тому

Gabor Mate is a legend and a global lesder in this kind of work. Noone comes close enough to talk on trauma like he does.

@mayasmith9650 6 місяців тому

I was so relieved to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease because I no longer had to worry about pleasing people or letting them down.

@jadewindom68 4 години тому

😂 THIS isn't funny 😂 but I totally get it, I got a rare one the doctors can't figure out......no more people pleasing for US 💞

@universalkidsfurniture 4 дні тому

Dr. Gabor Mate is simply brilliant. A tremendous blessing to humanity.

@basavla1811 8 місяців тому

Nuclear families are a problem. If you lived in extended family system,then parents can get help with looking after children,instead of getting stressed and bringing up children badly

@Plubb1984 11 місяців тому

I am actively seeking full recovery. Blessings and thank you!

@lindybright1938 3 дні тому

Dr. Gabor Mate truly speaks to my soul. I find it so easy to understand what he's saying and he doesn't confuse me. He inspires me to be introspective. Truly a great interview!

@Loonatic816 4 місяці тому

Finally a worthy interviewer of this great mind.

@antrewt Рік тому

Honestly, us Westerners have no idea how deeply entrenched our addictions are. Most people in the UK are addicted to innumerable comforts and regular distractions, and we can over-ride the addiction periodically for this or that reason, so long as there is a reason. Try living without your cups of tea, TV and internet for a couple of weeks and you will see how dry you feel. Try going without your central heating or your hot bath. What we don't realize is that these comforts, as well as our hopes, desires, ambitions (all mind-stuff, all unreal, all non-actual) is what keeps us persisting in intrinsically meaningless lives that have destroyed the Earth and all our children's futures.

@nicolesavioz6601 Рік тому

What a wonderful contribution to human development. Thank you so much.

@bensnyder6097 6 днів тому

“ i’ve always been very competitive, and I’m wildly successful, like well beyond what anybody would ever imagine, I have many best sellers, but you know, I found that that does not improve self-worth, which is really very high”

@patskinner2706 7 місяців тому

I found this two days ago. I wish I would have found it years ago. Finally someone who makes sense, sharing honestly with compassion

@zenoofcaledonia2439 9 місяців тому

I think it is a unique aspect of the human experience to feel existential angst. And with greater ease of survival in developed countries people have much more time to contemplate this. Just being content and at peace with being is one of the hardest things to cultivate.

@johnstrader324 Рік тому

When there are holes in our soul it is a opportunity for more light in to heal and make us whole …

@JohnnyLoDown Рік тому

Sounds like you got the lyrics for song or start of a poem right there! 🙂

@nmorto2013 Рік тому

The fact he acknowledged the plight of oppression being a catalyst for sickness. Thank u. That validation made me cry.

@debrascianna3433 11 місяців тому

My change is here I am in the midst of crying for two weeks. Understanding this is the process

@trinitytwo14992 Рік тому

A truly compassionate man. I wish he had been my Doctor.

@lectionesantiquae3090 11 місяців тому

17:09 Most people would suppose that the contrary would happen, that he would be happy and have the feeling of fulfillment. This story is an amazing illustration of what was being said.

@elizabethk3238 5 місяців тому

I'm a 76 year-old retired MSW who worked as a mental health counsellor at a major univetsity. I have learnt so much from the both of you. Thank you!

@urbanyoga1 5 місяців тому

Being "authentic" can make me feel good or sometimes extremly lonely.

@marylouleeman Рік тому

We need a tribe, a sense of belonging. So plain. Thank you. Simply knowing this resolves a lot for me right now!

@ioanaionescu1867 9 місяців тому

As a recovering addict i can say he understans perfectly addiction so spot on ❤❤❤❤❤

@beefmaster7 9 місяців тому

22:30 I relate this "When they're being authentic is when they feel really good about themselves"

@TropicalGardeningCyprus 7 місяців тому

The story with the winning goal, reminded me of me, and a couple of mates... as passionate fishermen, we obviously had our goals, our ''trophy goals''. When you actually manage that trophy-size bass or leerfish or taimen or what ever fish you were dreaming of... it's show-off time for a few days to feed the ego, and then, depression followed with the realization that it was just another f-ing fish. Last time it happened to me, I travelled half across the planet to catch my ''trophy'', and the depression hit me straight after I laid hands on it, ffs, it didn't even let me release it before it hit me and I had 2 more weeks of fishing left.....

@jcm5171 Рік тому

So obvious to me, always has been. How wonderful it is to hear this conversation, Dr Chatterjee. I have never met anyone who wasn't addicted to something, if only a way of thinking...! Gabor Maté is so great.

@claudenicholson3894 Рік тому

My two favorite Doctors together!!!

@tonybits369 Місяць тому

Luv How Gabor states facts while also it passes down expierences that Rangan will use in his future practices as a dr....STay blessed both of you awesome doctors that the world needs more of.... Kaisen & kudos to both & all Doctors in this and out of this world...Thank you Both...❤🖖🙏🤍🤍🤍

@sheiladuke3289 Місяць тому

❤❤❤❤❤

@loremipsum54321 11 місяців тому

Kind of paradoxical that the way he puts it, gives me a feeling of temporary relief. Noticed how I find pleasure in listening to experts/teachers talk about mental health issues. Sometimes I just watch gabor mate speak on a youtube clip, just to feel whole.

@Sand24 Рік тому

Why the pain? Is the million dollar question.

@groovethangralph Рік тому

Thank you both for being on the planet!!!!! What a brilliant and engaging conversation!! Can’t wait to read The Myth of Normal!

@AmyNick-cs7gz 3 місяці тому

Absolutely unusual conversation between two medicos but very insightful and can resonate well with what they feel as compassionate doctors.. they are truly gems among doctors...no doctor talks more than ten minutes even if we try to ask them things they snap and ask r u the dr or me if only we have atleast one dr lik these ppl in a city so many can actually live well...God bless you both❤

@percubit10 8 місяців тому

Being true ti ourselves is the hardest thing to do. The instill guilt and shame. I loved who I was and now I am an empty shell.

@corrinnemurray1852 10 місяців тому

Funny thing, that exactly what they are saying about my stress making me feel ill, has been totally what I have believed and this all makes so much sense to me❤❤❤

@Golgibaby Рік тому

Thank you for the candor, vulnerability, openness, and sensitivity to the vital paradigm shift in the profession to facilitate healing or at least not further worsen harm. Thank you both for your work and content!

@Becca6296 Рік тому

💯

@Teresinhadaniel Рік тому

👏👏👏🙌

@staceylebron944 2 місяці тому

Brilliant, wish I heard this 25 years ago. Breaks my heart.

@sheiladuke3289 Місяць тому

❤❤❤❤❤

@heatherwatts8791 8 місяців тому

Omg I had the best time growing up because I was allowed to be myself. I was unaware of materialism I just didn’t care at all.

@xikano8573 Рік тому

I'm just here, sipping on my yerba mate listening to Dr Gabor Mate. Brilliant, brilliant man - thank you Rangan for having him come by for a little chat with you... 🙏🏽

@TSLondon Рік тому

Rangan, this one made me cry a couple of times. Really difficult to hear (re doing "controlled crying" with our babies) and my thanks to you and to Gabor for encouraging us to not be guilty about listening to experts rather than to our own feelings and intuition. I'm so glad it's all repairable as Gabor said. I was studying full-time and working one day a week in a corporate, doing most of the baby stuff myself, it was an incredibly tough time. So glad that young parents now have beautiful wisdom like this to follow instead.

@Mumsoncountrylife 5 місяців тому

My two best doctors giving an excellent and compassionate perspective

@lauracde4414 6 місяців тому

I don’t think anyone knows if they are truly free from chasing success and wanting appreciation until they have repeatedly failed to achieve their goals despite pouring out consistently the very best of themselves. If they can continue to do so indefinitely, knowing there will be no rewards ever, then they know they have achieved what you are describing. I’m blessed to know some family caregivers who meet this criteria and they are such holy people.

@NydiaLC Рік тому

If you have a chronic condition as a child, you learn to accept a painful therapy from doctors, you are tought to allow them to do things to cure you that you don't want, and there goes healthy anger. So if you get the chance, please discuss boundaries on these issues and how to recover from ptsd that actually comes from ''doctor's orders''

@deirdreoleary3806 10 місяців тому

I have been having a health issue recently so I looked up “‘issue’ and emotions” and the first article I clicked on authentically related to my search made my jaw drop open! It’s almost as if I had gone to see a fortune teller and I was amazed at how accurate they were! I’ve long agreed that body and mind are intrinsically connected, but it’s almost downright spooky how closely related my health issue is with my current emotional state and struggle.

@reeves326 3 місяці тому

Dr Mate is such an incredibly wise, deep and compassionate person. I could listen to him forever. He's an inspiration!

@sheiladuke3289 Місяць тому

❤ Me Too 😇 ❤

@LoveTruth44 8 місяців тому

I think we'd all be quite surprised to know just how MUCH spirituality has to do with illness and disease. We ARE spirits, after all, here having a human experience on this earth.