If He ONLY Wants Sex, He Will DO THIS.. | Stephan Speaks

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Lisa Bilyeu

Lisa Bilyeu

День тому

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On Today's Episode:
There are dozens of reasons why dating nowadays is so hard for men and women. While lack of communication seems to be a significant factor, being able to read the people you date is also part of the equation.
Is he asking you out just because he’s interested in sex?
He booked reservations at a high-end restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to, does this mean he’s serious about you?
You’re having a great time together, what will he think if you decide to sleep with him on the first date?
Being able to spot red flags is great, but it helps very little without you being brave enough to address it, ask questions and assess his behavior also.
Stephan Speaks, one of UKposts’s favorite relationship experts has a straightforward approach and way of helping women (and men) understand and see the challenges everyone is facing. Dating is complicated and there’s a lot of unhelpful advice being shared with both sexes.
This episode is going to help you spot the red flags if he’s only in it for the sex, learn how to better interpret his actions, determine if he’s toxic or just not the guy for you, and figure out how to solve the dating problems keeping you single.
QUOTES:
“The guy that just wants to have sex is trying to get the most for the least effort.”
“I believe that real love, real connection happens extremely fast if not instant.”
“Him chasing you is not always the greatest indicator that he’s serious about you, or that he has genuine interests.”
“It can’t not be true love on my end but true love on your end, it doesn’t work that way, [...] true love requires a flow back and forth.”
“Every woman who dates from now on should give that man permission to be blatantly, brutally honest because it will save her the headache of confusion and his fear of how she’ll receive it.”
“It’s not about what the person does, it's about how they handle your feelings about it.”
“A lot of situations are just symptoms that they’re with the wrong person.”
“Red flags are not see it, run. Red flags are see it, address it, and if it’s not corrected walk away.”
“You either want to be heard or you want to be received.”
“When there is connection, there will be chemistry.”
Follow Stephan Speaks:
Website: www.stephanspeaks.com/
UKposts: / @meetstephanspeaks
Twitter: / stephanspeaks
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Facebook: / stephanspeaksrelations...

КОМЕНТАРІ: 2 300
@LisaBilyeu
@LisaBilyeu Рік тому
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
@redleeks6253
@redleeks6253 11 місяців тому
Bring Kev Hick to your show. He's also a relationship coach but actually married and with kids. Has a lot of valuable insight
@cathyjennings5580
@cathyjennings5580 11 місяців тому
Dates change expectations. Just communicate, talk, discuss life, values, manners, . Be honest. Be real.. Respect first. Stop the ideas of getting instant gratification, flings, affairs, etc.. Make enough TIME to get to know that NEW PERSON. FIRST. ASK QUESTIONS. BE REAL. IS IT POSSIBLE??
@cathyjennings5580
@cathyjennings5580 11 місяців тому
Men must ask her if it is possible. Ask her. He must Ask her if she is attracted to him.
@cathyjennings5580
@cathyjennings5580 11 місяців тому
Career style. What are your dreams to how & where She wants to live. ???
@cathyjennings5580
@cathyjennings5580 11 місяців тому
Stop being desperate in dating..
@MonicaGunderson
@MonicaGunderson 6 місяців тому
When my husband and I were dating, the first time I had my period, and didn't feel like going out, he went by the store, and got me chocolate and provisions, asked if I feel up to hanging out and watching movies. We are still married. 23 years happily married (with work). 💓💓
@andreaIMC
@andreaIMC 5 місяців тому
@annaisis7510
@annaisis7510 5 місяців тому
That's something good to start with
@joanofarcxxi
@joanofarcxxi 5 місяців тому
Things have changed a lot in 23 years. Thanks to Internet and porn. Now, men believe that they have many other easy options so they don't bother committing. I wish you continued happiness and love ❤️❤️
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
@@joanofarcxxi yes chef ñot fkeaßh man teçhkgy ribot teçhgy implates called nurliñk like bibke but tyoe 5 ouree gid rebke fool oeiff
@8806Erika
@8806Erika 5 місяців тому
​@@joanofarcxxinot when its the right man and he really wants you. The man that really wants you will show you 1000 percent
@GrannyLovesSquares
@GrannyLovesSquares 11 місяців тому
I simply say: I don't fornicate. I'm not casual, a friend with benefits, a booty call. Not fornicating sends them running but fast! Some say they are cool with it because it comes off as a challenge for their ego. I will be without a man for the rest of my life if I have to be. I will NEVER compromise my standards again for anyone.
@zerotoanime3953
@zerotoanime3953 11 місяців тому
I am a man and never had premartial sex and dont plan to and I start my relationships with that being said in the first convo. This i massively respect cause I find alot of women are also not comfortable with not having sex until marriage.
@parishers6351
@parishers6351 11 місяців тому
Agreed.
@NopeNotToday26
@NopeNotToday26 11 місяців тому
⁠@@zerotoanime3953 I’m glad and relieved you said this. I’m a virgin, and I ain’t compromising for no one. I will stay by myself if I have to..and have been all my life. It don’t make no difference to me at the moment.
@karmahleone1196
@karmahleone1196 11 місяців тому
Sameeeeeee I can go manless for life a man is honestly a headache
@sinceresong9907
@sinceresong9907 11 місяців тому
This!!! The peace and self respect is priceless!!
@Lin6055m
@Lin6055m 11 місяців тому
My husband just wanted a fling and I wasn’t really interested in a relationship either. After about 4 weeks we both fell in love with each other. After 10 years of dating, we were married for 35 years. He passed away last year. I miss him terribly
@mmommo-hx4dx
@mmommo-hx4dx 11 місяців тому
wow
@shannonbeeman8722
@shannonbeeman8722 9 місяців тому
My deepest condolences.
@cheryljohnson380
@cheryljohnson380 9 місяців тому
I'm so sorry for your loss.😢
@meli7315
@meli7315 9 місяців тому
Sending you blessings 🤍🕯️
@K-ONE16
@K-ONE16 8 місяців тому
My condolences 🙏 This shows that relationships have no laws. Allow God direct you
@spiritualvibrations2825
@spiritualvibrations2825 10 місяців тому
All of these traps and illusions you have to avoid just to have a man around is exhausting. Make peace with being single until you meet a decent man that doesn't play mindgames, games of manipulation.
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
wroñg illusions are mag9cal creaters
@Cerez78
@Cerez78 5 місяців тому
Peace being single 💯🔥
@AngelEyes-xm7el
@AngelEyes-xm7el 7 днів тому
Been waiting 24 years post divorce
@viktoriyaminasova6144
@viktoriyaminasova6144 Рік тому
Im so done with dating. Its a mad world out there. Im going to heal and let faith to guide me.
@SkyePhoenix
@SkyePhoenix 11 місяців тому
Same
@catherinegorter8211
@catherinegorter8211 11 місяців тому
Me too...
@deenabpeacelovebryant9122
@deenabpeacelovebryant9122 11 місяців тому
Hey my love what's wrong with dating
@catherinegorter8211
@catherinegorter8211 11 місяців тому
@@deenabpeacelovebryant9122 Trust issues now. Healing time and trusting that it'll happen when the time is right. Healing and loving ourselves has a lot to do with who we attract to us.
@deenabpeacelovebryant9122
@deenabpeacelovebryant9122 11 місяців тому
@@catherinegorter8211 I so agree have you ever read this book called trust. It's a great read
@ADebsLife
@ADebsLife 11 місяців тому
Men who are so uncomfortable with women's periods should be avoided in any case.
@scarletsletter4466
@scarletsletter4466 9 місяців тому
It’s funny that you say this bc I once dated a guy who’d faint at the sight of blood, even when he got tests at drs. It’s a real medical problem but yeah, it was too much for me to deal with 25% of my life 😂
@cynthiasandoval1101
@cynthiasandoval1101 7 місяців тому
I never met a man that was uncomfortable with periods
@lyvsix
@lyvsix 7 місяців тому
It's laaighable. That is a kid. Men dont give a fuck aboit periods.
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274
@rasheemthebestfirstone3274 6 місяців тому
As in what
@aditiprakashgaikwad8268
@aditiprakashgaikwad8268 6 місяців тому
@@scarletsletter4466 a
@sheliaestes7478
@sheliaestes7478 8 місяців тому
I'm a widow now, and have been since 2015 and I don't date because men these days would rather go after women that will have sex with them right off the bat, they don't want to get to know you and it's not just the younger ones the older are worse.
@Ace7of7Cups
@Ace7of7Cups 8 місяців тому
of course the older are worse. They are usually already stubborn and stuck in their ways
@LuvKitKatt
@LuvKitKatt 6 місяців тому
@@Ace7of7CupsYESSSSSSS
@carolyndaniels386
@carolyndaniels386 6 місяців тому
Wise woman.
@coraldownie3899
@coraldownie3899 3 місяці тому
So true
@funnygirlever
@funnygirlever 3 місяці тому
Yup the older ones. They won't change and be fixed. End it and eventually all females will get tired of them and they won't have anyone put up and accept it. They will be lonely and deserve to be alone forever. Maybe they had their prime when they got any females with sweet talks but we females are so much smarter now and know exactly what we want. Females don't put up with bs anymore. We females have so much more power than we know it. We just need to know how and learn to act on it and stand on it. Be firm and willing to walk away and never look back.
@JenniferRogers-lk9vg
@JenniferRogers-lk9vg 8 місяців тому
If a man truly respects you, wants to get to know you because he wants to have something more than just a sexual relationship, he’ll wait. Communication & getting to know someone deeply can be very intimate. You are worth it!
@lebomorake-dj9ro
@lebomorake-dj9ro 3 місяці тому
This days this guy's use money to use woman...
@lorinking972
@lorinking972 Місяць тому
7:36
@Richiko06
@Richiko06 5 днів тому
That’s why I’m engaged to my man ❤
@haileynichelle8343
@haileynichelle8343 11 місяців тому
Guys trying to have sex with me in exchange for the price of dinner is the exact reason why I don't date. Don't treat me like a cheap whore, or more accurately, a dog who will roll over and let you pet them in exchange for food. I find it SO OFFENSIVE, INSULTING, and SCARY that a man would think I would be willing to give a husband level privilege to a man I've just barely met.
@TheBLESS-edOne.
@TheBLESS-edOne. 10 місяців тому
Don't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch. All due... You sound incredibly damaged to say that you don't date [hard stop], simply because of a few bad experiences. Perhaps, though, that is an indication that you're just not prepared to do so, yet. Wishing you healing, fortitude, a strong voice & personal empowerment, Hailey. 🙏🏽
@cleliamattana6582
@cleliamattana6582 10 місяців тому
I met this guy at the airport and since he had the same layover as mine (I had a room with 2 beds, he had to sleep on the floor) I told him he could use the spare bed. Long story short. He bought me a Mc Donalds, and we had sex, I had to go back to Mexico where I was living at the time and he had to go back to Europe. Two years later he asked me to marry him. Moral of the story: live freely, have fun, and spontaneous things are the best, not a coincidence that all the guys I slept with "too soon" for many lady's standards, begged me to see each other again. Do you want to be taken seriously? It doesn't matter if you sleep with the guy for 1 hour or 1 month. Be a woman who has other interests in life, real ones, sparkles in your eyes when talking about them, the things that make you a COMPLETE person whether you have a man on your side or not. Men, the good ones, know this, they can smell you do not need them at all and there u go. I never had a one-night stand as they always wanted to see me and ended up in long-term relationships where they were the most attached. Did I meet guys who only wanted sex? sure! But the thing with these guys is not even the red flags, I immediately can't feel any connection. That's my only red flag. Even after 1 hour of talking it becomes very obvious.
@kdphotos4691
@kdphotos4691 10 місяців тому
@@cleliamattana6582 - How did you actually date the man who asked you to marry him after two years? Did you move to Europe or did he move to Mexico?
@cleliamattana6582
@cleliamattana6582 10 місяців тому
@@kdphotos4691 I had to go to Europe in Berlin for a conference and we met and it all started. Was crazy and he asked me to give us a try. And I moved back to Europe (I'm from Italy) so a couple of hours away, and it did work as we moved in together pretty quickly and the rest is history. PS, I did NOT give up my life and my dreams for him. I moved a lot and could work from anywhere in the world and he's also working on being able to work remotely as this is also his dream, in the meantime, Covid aside we took adventurous trips and I also traveled solo, so all good, we trust each other :)
@nadiaoak5123
@nadiaoak5123 9 місяців тому
Or you just ask men out yourself & then they’re not buying you. You don’t have to not date in order to not be used. Just don’t let ppl control you.
@LaPinturaBella
@LaPinturaBella Рік тому
My all-time favorite first date was inexpensive, relaxed, and incredibly creative. We took his mototrcycle all around LA with a bagful of quarters going to every fountain we could find and then making a wish. It was fun, it was imaginative and unique as hell and it gave us time to talk without the pressure of sitting in a restaurant looking for things to talk about. We were on a mutual adventure.
@racheltania2464
@racheltania2464 Рік тому
Aww, that does sound really sweet and fun.
@megriley9841
@megriley9841 Рік тому
So fun! 🤩
@redleeks6253
@redleeks6253 Рік тому
And that never turned into a relationship or it was a short term fling. Because inexpensive motorcycle dates scream playboy
@mjohnson8206
@mjohnson8206 Рік тому
@@redleeks6253 right
@ladyofthecentury
@ladyofthecentury Рік тому
What a non date. You drove around and tossed quarters in a fountain and he got you to rub up against him. Very unsafe. Nope
@melbaT2770
@melbaT2770 9 місяців тому
I think dating takes too much energy nowadays because social media and pornography skews ppl’s perceptions of others. Also, many have low EQ’s and can not handle honesty, IMO. It is a different world.
@Trisof88
@Trisof88 9 місяців тому
A world of hell. A loveless world is hell
@heide-raquelfuss5580
@heide-raquelfuss5580 8 місяців тому
Low EQ's, low IQ's too and low EVERYTHING.
@patriciahamilton6470
@patriciahamilton6470 7 місяців тому
​@@Trisof88agree
@krissy.x
@krissy.x Місяць тому
It’s Babylon. That ancient pagan kingdom that just refuses to stay in the pit. This final beast will devour the entire earth and crush it as Daniel said. Then Jesus will finally return when satan proves he can’t make a utopia (return to the garden of eden) without God for the billionth time, and humanity will have a hard lesson to learn when we experience the horrors of tyranny for the trillionth time
@kwetsephetla3597
@kwetsephetla3597 9 місяців тому
I was recently speaking to a guy who was pressuring me about being in a relationship. As soon as I mentioned that I want to wait before we get intimate, he started communicating less. I ignored him, deleted his numbers and moved on with my life.
@hyusuf4280
@hyusuf4280 9 місяців тому
Good for you. You know your worth. Wish I knew mine before I got intimate w guys and wasted my time with ones who were in it for the sex more than care for me, and weren't worth.
@kwetsephetla3597
@kwetsephetla3597 9 місяців тому
@@hyusuf4280 I didn’t always start off this way. Took years to work on it and to realise that I was compromising myself because I was desperately seeking love. Be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself and try again. Eventually setting boundaries and sticking to them will be easier ❤️
@heide-raquelfuss5580
@heide-raquelfuss5580 8 місяців тому
You did the right thing. You kept your dignity, head up high and valued yourself. No man is worth your body, soul, health to be destroyed. In Irak the family kills the girls when she had sex without a real marriage first. There are males who want just sex and fool her into TEMPIRARY MARRIAGES' where the girls fall into the trap, believing the marriage was a real marriage for life. The males make them believe they love her and want marriage. The paper is worthless and then he leaves her. If the family knows about this and she is not a virgin anymore and no man wants her because she is not virgin and allready USED by a man sexually, they kill her to preserve their honor. A girl there is also to old at 18 years old. No man wants an 18 year old for marriage. They want as young as 9, 19, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 ( 16 is allready tricky ). This used girls have no option than to flee and become often indeed prostitutes. Men after man using her with tempirary marruages of 1 day, 1 month. She gets pregnant, she is more ruinef. Life is very hard and girls give their body, virginity, soul away and pay ALLWAYS A PRIZE and are ruined. USA and in some countries in Europe are giving bad examples on how to behave and conduct themselves. I see all dressed like easy prostitute- like fashion dolls. Behaving to loose. Its not the fault of women, but the economic life we have to make women objects.
@amazingjane2703
@amazingjane2703 6 місяців тому
​@@heide-raquelfuss5580so, men could set a woman up to have her killed. So disgusting that men want to have sex with children
@joannap.3473
@joannap.3473 6 місяців тому
That’s awesome! He wasn’t worth your time.
@missede96
@missede96 11 місяців тому
Men are such players it’s crazy what lengths they’ll go to sleep with you just to end up alone the next day, repeating the same cycle. Yet we wonder why there are so many broken women who don’t want children. God have mercy on us.
@HolyRollerTV
@HolyRollerTV Місяць тому
nah..its just that women do not present themselves as wife material...women rule the dating market and go through men like its nothing...these podcasts only keep women delusional
@zeldam00n
@zeldam00n Рік тому
Everytime i watch these episodes i am terrified of dating
@joydorsy3341
@joydorsy3341 11 місяців тому
Me too
@traceybiles2061
@traceybiles2061 11 місяців тому
I'm done ..fine being alone
@haileynichelle8343
@haileynichelle8343 11 місяців тому
Same, terrified. Infuriated too. Solitude is amazing. No games, manipulation, entitlement, or abuse.
@vickigonya9432
@vickigonya9432 2 місяці тому
Lol yeah, these days I'm not getting in a car and going anywhere with a guy I don't know. I could end up dead. 😮 I'm happy single ☺️ ❤
@HolyRollerTV
@HolyRollerTV Місяць тому
nope you are terrified of dating dudes who are just average working lcass...high quality dudes are not going for the game women try to run on them
@candyxox
@candyxox 10 місяців тому
I'm over dating and I'm over men. Too much work that I'm tired of doing and getting no results or bad results. I'd rather be alone. I'm happier that way.
@yb6139
@yb6139 9 місяців тому
Me too...
@ms.exclusive4076
@ms.exclusive4076 9 місяців тому
Totally agree ! TOTALLY😮😊
@nyshaiamcmillan-thompson8960
@nyshaiamcmillan-thompson8960 8 місяців тому
Yea me to I hate men . But that finest mean I’m a lesbian. I hate it all . Relationships are out the window to much drama .
@LN-pm5yl
@LN-pm5yl 8 місяців тому
Ive been single for 6 years and though I get lonely at times, this has been the most personal growth I’ve ever experienced.
@sweetlikeme
@sweetlikeme 8 місяців тому
I know that's right
@nana73carol46
@nana73carol46 6 місяців тому
I knew on the first date that I wanted to marry my future husband. I was 15, and he was 17. We married at 18 and 20. We were happily married for 51 years and 4 days. We dated 3 years off and on, on mostly. I believe that you can know without a doubt when your right person shows up in your life. I have been a widow for 7 years. I have dated only a few men a few times with no connection. I met a man 4 months ago and we hit it off with that same intensity as with my sweetheart in my youth. We talk about everything. Right now I pray we are still wanting to be together next year and still growing the relationship.
@user-lg1ye7xo2m
@user-lg1ye7xo2m 6 місяців тому
That's old school unfortunately men do not do that anymore
@alwaysright5901
@alwaysright5901 6 місяців тому
Amazing! Pray to our Lord Jesus that if he is for you to bring him closer to you and if he's not for you to push him away from you. God only knows what's best and He's never wrong.
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
thats 1970 t8me liñg goid overs
@Ruth-vy1qj
@Ruth-vy1qj Рік тому
Signs he wants you for sex: 1. You see each other on his terms. 2. He only calls you in the evenings, late, or when it is dark. 3. You never hang out in the daytime he tries to avoid anything that could feel like a date. 4. You never met any of his family or friends. 5. His compliments are based on your appearance. 6. It always gets sexual in every conversation. 7. He never replies to you via text or ignores your calls until he wants something from you. 8. You never go on dates. 9. You feel lonely as soon it is over once the physical intimacy is over. 10. There is no foreplay or it's all about him. 11. He always leaves straight after or starts making excuses to exit. 12. He never asks you about yourself. 13. He is not committed to you. 14. He chats with other women. 15. He checks out other women(look at their body even in front of you) 16. You never have serious conversations. 17. He annoyed if you don't have sex. 18. He told you he doesn't want anything serious. 19. He tells you a lot of people ignore that or don't want to believe that. 20. He expects something in return for taking you out.
@dingling2645
@dingling2645 Рік тому
Woah, what a summary!
@jujukashasende4637
@jujukashasende4637 Рік тому
Spot on 🔥👍🏾
@merladyneptune3908
@merladyneptune3908 Рік тому
Ditto 🔥🔥🔥
@ConArtista
@ConArtista Рік тому
Get him in bed, get him just ready. Then jump up and say..." I got to go. I'm meeting my mum for coffee. Bye. Don't call again."
@stacyjaye6350
@stacyjaye6350 Рік тому
​@@ConArtista that sounds incredibly dangerous and cruel.
@tracyjae209
@tracyjae209 11 місяців тому
I feel so different about sex. I just CANT do that with someone I’m not in a committed, long term, we’re getting married/ married type relationship. It is so personal and can potentially affect my health if I’m not 1000% sure we are on the same page and want the same things. Now that I’m really thinking about it, I can’t even kiss someone if I don’t feel I’m heading in that direction 🤔 I feel like something is wrong with me, because I look at the germs, who they are, who else has he been kissing let alone the other-ahhhhh! The whole thing just freaks me out!
@haileynichelle8343
@haileynichelle8343 11 місяців тому
ME TOO! I feel the exact same way. I think there are a lot of people who are concerned about germs and STDs, but healthy relationships where you can ask questions like that aren't sensational enough or exciting enough to be part of modern media.
@Jaxmusicgal23
@Jaxmusicgal23 11 місяців тому
Same!!!
@badger1586
@badger1586 11 місяців тому
You guys are not alone. I feel the same way.
@parishers6351
@parishers6351 11 місяців тому
Same here.
@Butterflieslove2
@Butterflieslove2 11 місяців тому
Hahaha I get you girl 😅😅
@musingwanderer2765
@musingwanderer2765 9 місяців тому
What u are saying is 100% correct. There was a guy who chased me for a year despite me telling him im wasn’t interested. When I had a low moment in my life, he was there and I was touched and fell for him. Immediately when he got me , he used and dumped me. And cheated on me. I didn’t really understand why since he chased me for a year: then I also come to a realisation I was a checklist he has to achieve and he’s prob taking revenge too. So ladies.. pls open ur eyes and be cautious if a guy chase u for long. It’s not great love or what
@Karsyn_Marie
@Karsyn_Marie 8 місяців тому
Been through this it’s horrible
@ruffandrelax290
@ruffandrelax290 8 місяців тому
Yup cause a real man will respect that a woman just don’t want him If he not taking hints Your his agenda
@breonnaalexander4300
@breonnaalexander4300 8 місяців тому
I think I’m going through this now 😢
@musingwanderer2765
@musingwanderer2765 8 місяців тому
@@breonnaalexander4300 sorry to hear that. You can break away and heal ❤️
@missmcphee8859
@missmcphee8859 8 місяців тому
I'm so so sorry, what a bastard, don't worry he'll get what's coming to him. Scum like that always pay in the end
@maryhernandez5090
@maryhernandez5090 7 місяців тому
I slept with my husband on the first date while he was going thru a divorce and neither of us were looking for a commitment. But we had so much fun with each other and he took me to dinner or a show on every date and always brought me flowers and little gifts on every date, plus called me every night, we fell into love very quickly! So he moved in with me rather quickly and we got married about 5 years later! We were together for over 30 years until he died in 2021. You just can't say that sex on the first date or having a fling will not ever lead to a serious longtime relationship!
@MT-hk9cp
@MT-hk9cp 7 місяців тому
There are always exceptions, but in the majority of cases, it doesn't lead to marriage
@lala5061
@lala5061 6 місяців тому
​@@MT-hk9cpfacts it don't
@heyyashleyyy2669
@heyyashleyyy2669 6 місяців тому
Obviously your case is called the exception to the rule. Don’t you know that?
@nailpolish1493
@nailpolish1493 6 місяців тому
It’s not typical nine times out of ten it doesn’t lead to marriage.
@MT-hk9cp
@MT-hk9cp 6 місяців тому
@lala5061 Well, there are always exceptions, and I know two married couples who did sleep together within the first week. And I also know couples where it was months before they had sex, sex after marriage, etc, and there was infidelity, heartache, trials, etc,and one is divorced and the other still married. Let's keep it 💯 most men have the maturity of a 3 year old and a high level of hypocrisy when it comes to a woman having sex quickly with them. You have to move accordingly and do whats right for you! In the words of Samantha Jones from the old "Sex and the City" series. " Reality check. A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."
@gc2137
@gc2137 Рік тому
Honest communication between both parties is so vitally important.
@yolandagrabowski6043
@yolandagrabowski6043 9 місяців тому
Like Grettle. Put a stick out first to test it.
@lo8496
@lo8496 7 місяців тому
When there’s nO communication it’s useless💁🏻‍♀️
@n0426
@n0426 6 місяців тому
If he has bad intentions from the start the honesty is very questionable.
@HolyRollerTV
@HolyRollerTV Місяць тому
women dont want honesty...
@lisadeav73
@lisadeav73 11 місяців тому
Watch out for them saying they just want to go with the flow.That's another huge red flag
@priscilagoncalves5341
@priscilagoncalves5341 10 місяців тому
Why it took me so long to learn this?
@dr.jenniferma3914
@dr.jenniferma3914 9 місяців тому
That's them saying they already know they won't be falling in love with you.
@LuvKitKatt
@LuvKitKatt 6 місяців тому
@@dr.jenniferma3914factual
@HolyRollerTV
@HolyRollerTV Місяць тому
@@dr.jenniferma3914 dudes are not so called 'falling in love' there are zero benefits to be had from the modern woman
@MsOrganicBlack
@MsOrganicBlack 6 днів тому
​@@HolyRollerTV The modern male created the modern woman. You only have yourselves to blame.
@buffchickadee
@buffchickadee 9 місяців тому
A cheap date can really take off the pressure and help focus on getting to know someone. Went on a coffee date guy made it clear he just wanted sex . It felt so comfortable to walk away and saying good luck with things. No one wasted resources.
@gailainsley6939
@gailainsley6939 8 місяців тому
Girl please. Whilst you are worried about wasting his resources he had no issue with wasting your time. You might as well have had coffee at home and FaceTimed him. The bar is in he|| sheesh 😅😴
@buffchickadee
@buffchickadee 8 місяців тому
@@gailainsley6939 well you have to put time into anything you want. every relationship has a beginning you won't know until you put yourself out there to find the right person. trust me it was a very brief coffee date it didn't take long to realize we weren't a good fit. I would rather be told the truth of his intentions instead of a lie. yes he could have just messaged me with out a coffee date and that would have been great.
@LilithTheAquarian369
@LilithTheAquarian369 8 місяців тому
@@gailainsley6939please preach 💜👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@sandycheeks1580
@sandycheeks1580 6 місяців тому
😒We already know what’s up with coffee ☕️ & park dates. Thanks 🙏🏾 to the internet every woman can learn how selfish & manipulative these men are.
@viviansan6842
@viviansan6842 7 місяців тому
I'm Not Compromising, I'm Not Lowering My Standards To Be In A Relationship.... 💯🎯
@zaragray6199
@zaragray6199 6 місяців тому
Same here...never everrrrrrr
@queenc8280
@queenc8280 5 місяців тому
don't
@jackierumph2779
@jackierumph2779 Рік тому
The truth of the matter is women and men love differently. For, most women she has to feel something for him. In order to sleep with him. Unlike the male. He does NOT have to feel anything for her before he sleeps with her. His emotions are not tied to his body!
@projectacuhope
@projectacuhope 10 місяців тому
This is true. For most women, there must be a heart connection to activate things "down there". There used to be a thing called romance. I'm old enough to remember it... meaning, seeing it in old movies and such.
@Ace7of7Cups
@Ace7of7Cups 8 місяців тому
women, females has have to learn at young age to protect themselves from males that only want to use them for sex. Males rare have had this experience or have to learn this lesson when they are growing up that is why this difference exists among other social constructs that female have to contend with that males will never have to. Dont think these ideas are automatic
@projectacuhope
@projectacuhope 8 місяців тому
@@Ace7of7Cups I suggest that all girls have locks on their bedroom door and sleep in a locked bedroom from their early teens to the time they leave the parental home, and then wherever they go such as college, have locks on their bedroom door. It will help them avoid a lot of potential trauma.
@julesa1754
@julesa1754 Місяць тому
The absolute fuck?🤦🏽‍♀️ Atp just delete men if they're so dangerous sheesh
@LonjeMarie7
@LonjeMarie7 Рік тому
MANY MEN of character have told me when they REALLY VALUE and like a woman they will WAIT. They see her as a keeper NOT a ‘throwback ‘
@heide-raquelfuss5580
@heide-raquelfuss5580 Рік тому
Me too! A man told me one day he was madly truly in love. He did not make any moves to even touch her, pushing her, making sexual remarks, not this and not that, because he said...if i do something innapropiate, stupid i could push her away and lose her! Other women i did not really liked and where he had no feelings for, he would touch them in a few minutes or hours, quickly, being arrogant, cocky, verbally obscene, pushy, easy offended when rejected. But his real love for that girl made him very cautiuos, so she would not get stressed, scared, uncomfortable, rejecting him. Go figure. We women accept so much stress and being tyranized. We should be the ones who push back men very hard at each attempt to run us over and abusing us or disrespecting us. Better, after the first bad sign, run and never engage with that man. Normally your gut tells you...
@n0426
@n0426 11 місяців тому
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 hell yes they know to do better when they want better. And you definitely deserve better.
@susankarambelas2430
@susankarambelas2430 11 місяців тому
I hope that is my s. other's reason..
@TheBLESS-edOne.
@TheBLESS-edOne. 10 місяців тому
Of course, they will wait; the alternative is loss...or _rape._ They will also gladly and eagerly engage, if she is willing. That said, never _assume_ that a _patient_ man is inherently a _good_ man. Wellness & Love to you all.🤍
@n0426
@n0426 10 місяців тому
@@TheBLESS-edOne. once they know they have you in their hands. They can easily be as disrespectful as a rap*st. And i see no difference between a “husband” and a “rapist” If they both act impulsively and disrespectfully. It matters how fast you get rid of them. Actually. It’s your time that is being wasted not theirs.
@marshapicardo363
@marshapicardo363 10 місяців тому
Truth. I CANNOT be involved with more than 1 guy. I've TRIED getting involved with 2 simultaneously... It's so NOT IN ME. It was TORTURE for me mentally & emotionally. 😒
@NatzTalk
@NatzTalk Місяць тому
Same
@leanettebailey6785
@leanettebailey6785 Місяць тому
Me too
@angelageathers9754
@angelageathers9754 Місяць тому
Same here! How can I genuinely get to know someone if I’m juggling more than one person. Seems exhausting.
@doloresbrown9661
@doloresbrown9661 7 днів тому
Me too
@winning3329
@winning3329 8 місяців тому
I just want to warn ladies about what has happened to me. I had a couple of men who pretended to be inlove with me and tell me that they wanted a relationship with me and they would fake a whole relationship with me and when they felt things were getting serious like i would ask them that i wanted them to meet my family members then the men would disappear and cut all contract with me. Im warning women to never sleep with a man and make him wait until he marries you. These men can wait until you let them have your body. If i ever meet another man in the future s3x will be off the table. Im not giving wife benefits for a man to turn around and marry another woman.
@kristinej.4182
@kristinej.4182 Рік тому
I have to disagree that opposites attract. I really think compatibility and shared values are crucial for a relationship to work long term. I used to be with someone who was the opposite from me and it was such a struggle to get along. He didn’t understand my wants and needs and I couldn’t understand his without making a sacrifice each time we went and did anything together. Now I’m in a relationship with a man who has similar interests, goals and values and that actually ignites our chemistry each day and strengthens our connection. It’s working out beautifully.
@parishers6351
@parishers6351 11 місяців тому
Right. If you are a clean freak and married to Mac nasty it’s an issue
@traceylennon1204
@traceylennon1204 11 місяців тому
Kristine J thank you!!
@mccainproservices
@mccainproservices 11 місяців тому
💯
@karenmazzola8758
@karenmazzola8758 11 місяців тому
@willa1699
@willa1699 11 місяців тому
@feather99999999
@feather99999999 11 місяців тому
Men should not date if they are not financially prepared. This means his priorities are not straight and he should just focus working or other financial building paths. A meal is not equivalent to sex. It’s totally degenerate.
@joydorsy3341
@joydorsy3341 11 місяців тому
No way A meal will NEVER B EQUAL TO SEX R U KIDDING ME 2023
@maricelperena1644
@maricelperena1644 7 місяців тому
Very well said.❤
@NatzTalk
@NatzTalk Місяць тому
Thank you💛😍
@HolyRollerTV
@HolyRollerTV Місяць тому
women are out here in these streets...going out doing drugs drinking, selling sex on only fans, sleeping with multiple men, friendzoning men who are FINACIALLY PREPARED then come to these comment section pretending to be virtuous..men have finally woken up to the BS of the modern woman
@EllieM_Travels
@EllieM_Travels 7 місяців тому
This is great! My man respected that I wouldn’t jump into bed with him. We had that connection the moment we met and I felt so at ease with him, it was like I had known him forever. He kept asking me out and he’d say, “Hug? Hugs are nice, we should hug.” It was so sweet and really gave us time to get to know each other. Eight years and going strong.
@lmlacuff1
@lmlacuff1 7 місяців тому
Who is the girl? Is she the hostess? Because this is definitely not an interview or a conversation because he's talking the whole time so I'm curious.
@sexylexie
@sexylexie 6 місяців тому
@IDT- I’m sorry but I’m an older woman, 8 years is far too long to date the same man without a commitment. Young women please stop wasting all your youth 9n a man that can’t commit you you. Why buy the cow when he’s getting the milk for free. I truly hope you get what your looking for because you didn’t state you’re engaged..Access your relationship please and see who’s getting the short end of the stick.
@sexyminababy
@sexyminababy 6 місяців тому
​@@sexylexieright 😂 like that literally made no Sense to me. That's way too long I'm sorry
@artisticagi
@artisticagi 9 місяців тому
5:20 No interest if on the period 7:24 Vague intentions 13:00 true love is instant 16:30 differentiation between instant true love and just chemistry or infatuation- they don’t dive deeper. They don’t know that person more. 19:00 the misinterpretation of a man chasing you When you’re really interested you chase as a woman. So you try ink it’s the same when it’s a man chasing May not mean he is actually serious about you 20:25 he chases and now he’s like it’s my turn he chases and the effort stops because he got what he wanted
@SRHisntSilent
@SRHisntSilent 8 місяців тому
THANK YOUUU
@agnesn3209
@agnesn3209 7 місяців тому
Well done. Thanks
@dennissmith7214
@dennissmith7214 7 місяців тому
True love is instant😳😂😂🤦🏽‍♂️, now that’s funny!
@reneewatson582
@reneewatson582 6 місяців тому
Sometimes a person you have known for years changes in a bad way. It is very alarming and you wonder why has this happened? I have seen this in a few close friends even my husband, so I know this is very true. We have to sometimes Run or keep getting hurt. Just look out for yourself. I hope this helps. God bless us, He always helps us get over it.
@ajr7940
@ajr7940 6 місяців тому
True love is never instant. Throw that one out it's A LIE
@haileynichelle8343
@haileynichelle8343 11 місяців тому
Guys, if you do choose to 'make a sexual move' on a date, please please PLEASE make sure you do it in a time and place where the woman has a safe exit. Make her feel comfortable in saying no if she isn't ready. Example: making a move in a car in an isolated place that is far from her home screams 'he's going to kill me and dump my body in a ditch if I say no'. She will never want to see you ever again. Oppositely, asking in a car when you are about to drop her off at her destination feels much safer (to me) because if she is uncomfortable, she can leave without being stranded in an unknown place. Personally, I think it's disrespectful to ask about sex in the early stages of dating in the first place, but that's me and my high standards.
@kittyb9453
@kittyb9453 11 місяців тому
Needs more likes❤
@sophies_poppin
@sophies_poppin 11 місяців тому
Facts💙
@AngM-lu7cb
@AngM-lu7cb 10 місяців тому
Or they can ask before making a move. That way both people are openly communicating and he's making sure he has her consent. I think men who ask for consent before making a move, even if it's just for a kiss, are gentlemen. I think the same goes for women; better to ask him for his consent too.
@kdphotos4691
@kdphotos4691 10 місяців тому
It isn't high standards at all. It is normal standards. Men have had centuries to gaslight women into believing their purpose is to be prostituted or used as broodmares. It isn't normal to talk about sex to people you don't know. What is normal is to ask questions about another's life and their hopes and dreams, to find a common ground. Personally, I find it annoying that men can't relax and enjoy themselves without obsessing about sex all the time. It's as if being an adult, you aren't allowed to have fun anymore. You're only allowed to engage in activities that have to do with f*cking. It's exhausting and dull. Where are the men who like to have fun? The ones who like to laugh and enjoy life? The ones who treat women as sisters first?
@AngM-lu7cb
@AngM-lu7cb 10 місяців тому
@@kdphotos4691 You're right, it's just decent human behaviour to not talk about sex with complete strangers. I'm always immediately turned off by guys who get too sexual in their mannerisms or talk when interacting with me. Like, dude, I don't even know you lol.
@Yahookudi
@Yahookudi Рік тому
Honestly, a guy who tries to initiate sex too early is a turn off for most serious women. There are way too many men who are looking for a quick lay and will lie and manipualte as if they are serious to get there. As a man, you don't want to be in the same bucket and viewed as possibly one of those guys so taking time to build attraction, trust and then trying to ahve sex is the right way to go. You can go in for a kiss or if she is DEFINITELY showing signs then yes but sex sex is more.
@heide-raquelfuss5580
@heide-raquelfuss5580 Рік тому
In nature sex is making babies. Nowadays, people seem to forget that little 'twist'. Men think sex is for fun, a pass time thing, a thing you just do, a reason to get you laid with lies, manipulation, wrong intentions and so on. After paying you an icecream it seems that making babies is justified and if they do not 'get it' after 1 or 5 dates, or minutes, hours, weeks this men flip into nasty little assh@les. If nature intended NOT TO MAKE BABIES THIS WAY, well...then semen would not be produced every time in that regard. That way sex could potentially mean, it is just for 'some fun' purpose. But men seem to FORGET why sex exist in the first place. Or...they do not care. Which is also a big issue in this society, where babies need to be raised in very complex ways and survival. I think, most men do not want to raise all this babies they are producing while basically having sex with a woman. Women mostly they do not want even to marry... Women who basically are condamned to do it all alone by themselves if we all are honest. The nerves men have to go after sex is just mindblowing! They do nasty if they do not get it and nasty if they get it. Horrible. I know there are some men who are not jerks, but oooh boy...they are in the minority. Sorry if this post is to rough and verbal. Kind regards. It is crazy if you think about it really.
@sophies_poppin
@sophies_poppin 11 місяців тому
Facts
@obosuck
@obosuck 10 місяців тому
Every guy should look up the 12 stages of physical intimacy if he wants to lead properly. Saying "if she is DEFINITELY showing signs" isn't as helpful as "if she wasn't receptive to you putting your arm around her you definitely shouldn't go for a kiss." The only situation where I think serious seekers look like hookup seekers is probably dating apps (and virgins), since texting is such a time wasting activity they often try to get in person quickly which looks like disinterest in conversation. Like I think the real advice is "be respectful of boundaries," men should be escalating toward sex even as serious relationship seekers. Most high quality serious seeking men I know aren't getting passed over due to "appearing like hookup seekers" but because they aren't "chasing" and they also get stuck focusing effort toward situationships/friendzones because they aren't forcing the issue with escalation. Doing match+1 on the physical intimacy scale seems to me to be a no lose strategy: - If the escalation stops at a particular level for more than 1 date she isn't interested and you should discuss it or move on - If you mutually like each other the two of you connect physically faster, she feels chased and desired you get your sexual needs met, win-win - A man with access to sex is not going to jump into relationships solely for intimacy and is actually going to evaluate the relationship - The pace will be what she is comfortable with since you are waiting for her to match before going to the next stage - Respecting boundaries when you hit them has literally never backfired on me, I am still friends with some even if we stopped at 11/12 My hot take is that if you want to avoid hookups dating intentionally by pro-actively asking about their values and relationship goals before they can mirror yours, seeing how they react to boundaries, looking for mismatching words/actions, identifying love-bombing, not interested in dates just wants to go to his/your place, etc. is the best strategy. I am graysexual so sexual compatibility is important to me and I am quite upfront about that which is quite different from a bunch of vague sentiments that someone who is lying about being a LTR seeker gives. The majority of men I know who are focused on meaningless hookups have unresolved mental issues and low emotional intelligence so asking them how they feel in the moment or mentally checking what level of vulnerability they are showing might be an effective strategy.
@winning3329
@winning3329 10 місяців тому
I had guys fake whole relationships with me. I had a narcissist ex boyfriend who faked a 2 year relationship with me and he went as far as introduce me to his family and friends and even let me live in his house, he played the part very well and faked love. After 2 years he discarded me like I never ment anything to him and with no shame he paraded the woman he was cheating on me with. This man never loved me, he never fell in love with me and he did the same to the other woman. I've seen men married for years who ghost their wives. When are men going to stop this? These men are traumatizing women and building a generation of mistrust and pain.
@madelinebigio7565
@madelinebigio7565 9 місяців тому
@@winning3329ohh Yessss they have those but now I can spot him immediately
@urbanchynadoll
@urbanchynadoll 9 місяців тому
When he said, "Don't internalize actions." That's hard not to do when communication is not involved. People need to speak up and communicate.
@LuvKitKatt
@LuvKitKatt 6 місяців тому
EXACTLY
@andriavinithalobo5813
@andriavinithalobo5813 6 місяців тому
Point
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 2 місяці тому
THIS!!!!
@thenutrientwhisperer3700
@thenutrientwhisperer3700 10 місяців тому
I once had a man say to me, “I really like the pace of this.” Things were moving slowly. That was code, for let’s keep it casual as it turns out.
@sylverngroden8078
@sylverngroden8078 Рік тому
A man and a woman will do everything right or wrong and still be or not be for you....only God alone knows men n women real intentions ❤
@patriciasafricanhairbraidi376
@patriciasafricanhairbraidi376 Рік тому
I absolutely agree 💯 real talk wisdom from heaven 💯
@Kimberly-up1cb
@Kimberly-up1cb Рік тому
Prove it.
@joydorsy3341
@joydorsy3341 11 місяців тому
Only God knows EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS CHILDREN .....GOOD OR BAD 2023
@krisd6811
@krisd6811 11 місяців тому
Ladies be careful. Men like this don't care and will keep on until you stop it. And if you like him its heartbreaking
@user-xr2lr9wj5s
@user-xr2lr9wj5s 3 місяці тому
Yes.trying to get passed this situation right now Younger man ot hurts worse than I've ever bee. Hurt. Illnever start seeing anyone again. I should have known better. He sorta made it clear at first je didn't want a relationship but then got to close
@mister-zen8491
@mister-zen8491 3 місяці тому
"Creeps" won't respect boundaries.
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 2 місяці тому
True 🤧🤧
@lala5061
@lala5061 Місяць тому
​@user-xr2lr9wj5s I understand 🤗 just remember to listen to what the man is saying and believe it when he says he's not looking for a relationship, u just gotta believe that...u keep the ssme energy he has nothing more...
@HolyRollerTV
@HolyRollerTV Місяць тому
but why you like a dude that doesnt want you, thats not his problem
@vitaminhead1465
@vitaminhead1465 7 місяців тому
If you are dating online, you are playing a dangerous game.
@Randaronii
@Randaronii 23 дні тому
💯 I always find the men on apps being recycled because they don’t want to change and won’t fix toxic traits of their personality
@ecclesiastesThreeVerseSeven
@ecclesiastesThreeVerseSeven 3 місяці тому
Im just going to stay home
@thesassyartiststudio3439
@thesassyartiststudio3439 23 дні тому
😂😂😂🎉😢
@anotherwarren7994
@anotherwarren7994 11 місяців тому
Huh? Infatuation is instant. Love is what remains beyond infatuation.
@minalpuntambekar1239
@minalpuntambekar1239 3 місяці тому
Exactly
@elusivebeauty711
@elusivebeauty711 Рік тому
The 1st hour of conversation saddens me and confirms what I’ve seen just in the last 1 1/2 years of being in the dating world post divorce. It’s also the reason I stopped dating casually. The whole premise that dating is to find a person to sleep with is just disrespectful to real commitment. I’m convinced there needs to be a “casual hookup” pool and a “serious commitment” pool. The first encounter with someone should not be transactional to the point of us sniffing each other out for intercourse. It should be for genuine getting to know them and gauging compatibility or connection. There should not be expectations to get sex just because a guy pays for dinner or any other activity. Every time Stephan referenced “letting a guy know you’re on your period” statements I cringed. Nobody needs to know your biological functions unless you have made it clear mutually that that is what the encounter could lead to. All of these unspoken expectations lead to people feeling used or taken advantage of on both sides. This narrative has to change somewhere.
@Corrans
@Corrans Рік тому
I agree....its NOT his business whether you're on your period or not. I also cringed.
@AndiAlexander1
@AndiAlexander1 Рік тому
I wondered why there was no mention of a man who is serious about a relationship being fine with period sex. Stephan has clearly never been married. Mature, married men aren’t squeamish about blood, and will ask their partner if they’d rather snuggle on the couch watching a movie, or have sex, and be fine with whichever makes her feel best.
@janereinhardt4715
@janereinhardt4715 Рік тому
​@@AndiAlexander1 Stephan has been married once, a long time ago. I remember him mentioning it in one of his videos. I have only watched a handful of them.
@AndiAlexander1
@AndiAlexander1 Рік тому
@@janereinhardt4715 maybe being squeamish about woman things hastened the end of it?
@janereinhardt4715
@janereinhardt4715 Рік тому
@@AndiAlexander1 Maybe- who knows.
@smith899
@smith899 7 місяців тому
20:40 TRUE! All of this is true! I was young and naive while in college. I was dating a guy with whom I worked during the summer in another state. He put the full court press on me, and after a few months, I agreed to get engaged…at which point he stopped. He said something akin to, he caught me, he doesn’t need to do any more work…there was no need to shower me with his attention. (I am NOT talking money! He had none! I was the one who had money to spend. I am talking rubbing my back, holding my hand while watching a movie at home curled up on the couch, taking walks in a park and stopping to watch the t-ball game…) I stayed until the beginning of the next summer, when I fortunately woke up and broke off the engagement. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he wasn’t for me!!! I met my husband 34 years ago, married 32, and he STILL showers me with his love, as I do him.
@vanessaacosta17
@vanessaacosta17 7 місяців тому
GOD knows how grateful I am to have come across this video!!! God bless everyone tuning in! @Lisa and Stephen are amazing for this !!
@pimpisal8290
@pimpisal8290 Рік тому
Some folks might not agree and want to encourage me to keep looking for the one, but I've quit trying(and dating). Don't get me wrong, I don't think all men are jerks. But I'm just fed up with weeding out jerks, being manipulated, and getting dissapointed. There're things in life we're not good at no matter how hard we try, and I guess for me it's relationship. But it's ok though. I can still find happiness and pleasure in other aspects of life. Sex toys are diversified too.
@geraldasinois4204
@geraldasinois4204 Рік тому
I'm with you on that because the guy i am dealing with right now is only here for the sex
@crazycatlady312
@crazycatlady312 Рік тому
Date women 🩷
@blicket
@blicket Рік тому
Ha! You think that makes a difference.
@pimpisal8290
@pimpisal8290 Рік тому
@@blicket Yeah, because atleast I don't have to deal with jerks anymore.
@Houseitch
@Houseitch Рік тому
Love yourself first!
@married2purpose
@married2purpose Рік тому
2:04:00 is triggering. Basically men will know from the beginning they do not want a future with a woman (well before intimacy) and still stay with her to reap the benefits of being with her. How cowardly. I can never get on board with a man choosing conveniently to disclose that a woman is not the one once he has extracted as much as possible. I see why more women are murdering their romantic partners these days. It's unfortunate. Lack of transparency, discipline and accountability of men is harmful to women.
@SkyePhoenix
@SkyePhoenix 11 місяців тому
Agreed. Well said.
@sharon901
@sharon901 11 місяців тому
It happened to me… when he couldn’t get more out of me then he bounced. Malignant narcissist
@redleeks6253
@redleeks6253 11 місяців тому
@@sharon901 That's not what a malignant narcisist is. Thats just a man and the one talking on the show is one himself.
@sharon901
@sharon901 11 місяців тому
Oh thanks for clarifying what I went through….as if you had any idea.
@camellia8625
@camellia8625 11 місяців тому
It is despicable behaviour
@lorettadavis2195
@lorettadavis2195 10 місяців тому
Dating is not used for sex it's to get to know someone you interested in and if it doesn't work out move on but if the both of you are compatible it's best to marry.
@kindlevarela8120
@kindlevarela8120 10 місяців тому
imagine telling the guy ur dating ur on ur period hoping they get you chocolate and they tell u not to come over instead
@Ace7of7Cups
@Ace7of7Cups 8 місяців тому
or a man not understanding how uncomfortable having a period can be. He gets upset because you feel icky so you are not feeling up for physical intimacy. Or he can't cant even understand how painful it is.
@NatzTalk
@NatzTalk Місяць тому
Tbh I never expect men to do this but do expect them to not be squeamish about my period.
@Corrans
@Corrans Рік тому
Subtle distinction about the chasing. When a man is serious about you, he will pursue you. Simple as that. If he's too hurt from previous relationships, then he needs therapy for that and you can't fix that and shouldn't try. In my humble experience, if a man likes a woman, no matter what, he will call, ask her out, etc. BUT there is a distinction between chasing her relentlessly and proper, respectful pursuit.
@CynthiaSchoenbauer
@CynthiaSchoenbauer Рік тому
Yes, but sometimes they are reeling from the chance of a new opportunity and have to get their conviction completely in order. They have to actually make high-level decisions about life and what they want and consider her and what would be only fair to ask from her.
@SoloCityTravels
@SoloCityTravels 10 місяців тому
YES! Thank you for saying that! I understand some people may be hurt from their past, but the result of talking to someone hurt from the past and someone who is a player is the same. You feel alone, ignored, and there is no relationship. They need healing
@IVvOOvVI
@IVvOOvVI 10 місяців тому
True, I agree, but some men nowadays just will not ask a woman for their phone number because they would rather that she call the number on his business card.
@TheBLESS-edOne.
@TheBLESS-edOne. 10 місяців тому
@@IVvOOvVI Yes, *_far too many_** feminine, beta, and/or non-initiating males exist today.* *Personally, I could never bother with those types; but, to each- her own.*
@TheBLESS-edOne.
@TheBLESS-edOne. 10 місяців тому
TBF- it's not always pain/hurt, not always that deep. Many times, it is simple *_insecurity._* Sometimes, that is because he knows that she is too far out of his league.
@shaydeArtell
@shaydeArtell 11 місяців тому
So much of this was maddening. Guys need to END relationships themselves instead of putting it on the women to break up, no excuses guys. This is just extremely immature and it is MANIPULATIVE. Grow up and stop making excuses for them it’s disgusting
@nadiaoak5123
@nadiaoak5123 9 місяців тому
Agreed.
@Loverofartsandmusic
@Loverofartsandmusic 9 місяців тому
This conversation gave me a different perspective. People are complicated, holding back something good because of fear. As for me, expressing my honesty is what I'm comfortable with and it's up to the person if he will reciprocate and I'm fine otherwise. Hope we find what we're looking for.
@leighatkins22
@leighatkins22 7 місяців тому
Hahaha love your username...
@Name-sb1fr
@Name-sb1fr 7 місяців тому
Sounds like you'll be waiting a long time.
@joanofarcxxi
@joanofarcxxi 8 місяців тому
I wish men were blatantly and brutally honest. I give plenty of permission and ask vehemently for it, but they lie anyway. From begining to end it only games and lies. My boundaries are strong and my standards are high, so I stay single. Dating now is like the freakin twilight zone. Nothing is real, and I mean nothing.
@sanjuchaudhary9359
@sanjuchaudhary9359 6 місяців тому
So true I don't understand why they have to lie when we women are happy to accept the truth
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
date a gid
@carolejackson8357
@carolejackson8357 8 місяців тому
I've met plenty of people who jumps into relationships based on infactution aka "love" at first sight. Regardless of how the relationship turns out, they took a high risk. There is no way to really know a person without spending time in many situations.
@percha099
@percha099 Рік тому
A wealthy woman would never waste their time only for a ´´free meal´´ .I´m super hegemonic and wealthy, of course, I wouldn´t accept a meal from a guy that does not like me, because that would be eating in front an ugly man, responding to answers, investing in dress, make-up, hair, for one meal? No thank you... I rather go alone to eat like Meelena from Mortal Kombat, with any man watching with lust at me while I eat my pizza. If a man can´t afford a meal, well... he is not even ready to date, or starting a family...sorry .. but´s a big red flag
@redleeks6253
@redleeks6253 Рік тому
This Lisa keep bringing 'male dating coaches' to a podcast called 'women of impact'. They have no credentials. Why doesn't she bring female dating coaches who know the game? Just because women listen better if its a man telling them?
@honeydove_4844
@honeydove_4844 Рік тому
Same here..I dodge alot of dates if i"m not really interested. I dont waste my time, not even for a free meal.
@tonyale7204
@tonyale7204 7 місяців тому
It's so hard to find serious people these days and learning how to date again after you decided to be on tour own for a while is even more frustrating 😢
@Savedbygrace_awareofthenarc
@Savedbygrace_awareofthenarc 7 місяців тому
It's all about communication. All this trying to figure this and that out is just too complicated. No one is a mind reader. Honest communication is the key.
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
mond readibg dev8ces ex8st lie deteorrz ec8st
@catamish9338
@catamish9338 11 місяців тому
Trust your gut. If you think something is off, slow the relationship down or end it. I had a date and never felt his name was right when I said it. I soon found out he was a classA player/narc. Dumped.
@cisgietm8998
@cisgietm8998 Рік тому
What is missing in the first 30 min is the importance of open transparant respectful communication. Men and woman are no mind readers and we schould not spent our precious life energy on guessing what the other person is meaning to say.
@Joy-mm3cz
@Joy-mm3cz 7 місяців тому
Great reminders. My ideal first date: A Sunday afternoon, walking in a park or bike path. Then a snack or ice cream. This way, there is NO expectation of Dinner & sex, or me going back to your place. I let it be known PRIOR to seeing each other in person that I DONT kiss on the first date. Took pressure off & we can just focus on getting to know each other. I knew if they didn’t try to kiss me until date 3 or 4 that they really LIKED me for me and we could actually build a good foundation that’s required.
@arwenperea
@arwenperea 8 місяців тому
He lost me multiple times with the double standards, but listening to this while sleeping helped me absorb the reality that engaging in relationships is a giant waste of energy.
@catcat9582
@catcat9582 6 місяців тому
Literally same... also falling asleep and it all just feels moot. I can't handle all of this.
@LuvKitKatt
@LuvKitKatt 6 місяців тому
What double standards..?
@zeldam00n
@zeldam00n Рік тому
I think youre talking about attraction, not love. Love is actions that are consistent over time
@LuvKitKatt
@LuvKitKatt 6 місяців тому
Word
@dr.jenniferma3914
@dr.jenniferma3914 9 місяців тому
His most astute point was the reference to connection going "BOTH WAYS" and that if you think you're into someone but they aren't into you there is no connection. You are in lust. You are being hopeful, wishful, living in fantasy. You don't have a genuine connection with the person. So if he ghosts you, disappears after sex, talks about not wanting something serious etc, just take this as the knowledge that you were wrong about your own feelings. You mislabeled something lustful as genuine connection. This will help you move along faster. I've had what I thought were connections with men who ended up being totally full of it. They would demonstrate the truth of it and once I see it I kindly move on. Don't think about him. Don't wonder. Don't worry. Just let whatever image of him you have in your mind go and realized that he discovered the truth before you.
@hyusuf4280
@hyusuf4280 9 місяців тому
Well said. Wish I knew all this 20 years ago.
@TiaraonCamera
@TiaraonCamera 7 місяців тому
Damn that was kinda tough to swallow but thanks
@mishaanton5436
@mishaanton5436 7 місяців тому
At 67 out of dating pool. But this man has understanding of men & women down and what works as well as I've ever heard or read.
@florencia2771
@florencia2771 10 місяців тому
I went on a date with a guy, and he said is going with the flow. Well, I'm letting FLOW freely 😂😂😂😂
@naturelover1284
@naturelover1284 Рік тому
they talk about marriage right away and you just met...they make sexual innuendos constantly, don't giggle it reinforces the disrespect
@n0426
@n0426 11 місяців тому
Narcissistic bast*rds.
@xoTeaBellox
@xoTeaBellox 11 місяців тому
Some will say they want something serious to get you trapped so they can abuse you.
@CoCo-eu1hg
@CoCo-eu1hg 6 місяців тому
I got love bombed first time ever. I had just got out of a 16 year relationship and wanted to take things slow. He was calling, texting me, i was too, i will take accountability. Right after we alept together he compltely changed, said lets take things slow now. Found out he was back on the dating website within hours. My friend told me, I was so upset, called him out on it. He blamed me and said the last date was so weird and it was because he told me on Valentines Day he still had feelings for his ex which btw I had asked him on 4 different dates are you looking for something serious and do you still have feelings for someone? He said once we slept together the closer we got the more I reminded him of her. I was so mad at myself, for believing that bullshit. If men could juat be honest and say 'hey, I am just looking to have sex'. It would be so much easier but no, they have to lie constantly. I am.done dating.
@Elsie144k
@Elsie144k 9 місяців тому
I can understand women being drawn to this man and thinking they have a connection with him. It’s because he is so authentic that you feel you know him and can trust him. When a man has true genuine integrity, authenticity, and respect within himself, it allows women that sense of safety and security that is so lacking from many relationships today.
@babou5694
@babou5694 11 місяців тому
Main reason why I don’t date and stay single.
@hyusuf4280
@hyusuf4280 9 місяців тому
Same here. 😆
@dominiquemathews8617
@dominiquemathews8617 Рік тому
This is good information. Honesty is necessary. Brutal honesty is something different and can be disrespectful or abusive. Brutal honesty is not needed.
@carolclarke1122
@carolclarke1122 Рік тому
Exactly. You can be perfectly honest, but no need to be brutal about it.
@AngM-lu7cb
@AngM-lu7cb 10 місяців тому
This! I absolutely hate when brutally honest people are like "But I'm just being real and honest." No, they're being an ass by not considering the other person's feelings. There is a way to be both kind and honest.
@Tropicana323
@Tropicana323 7 місяців тому
Omg I’m in the process of leaving my narcissistic husband and it sounds scary out there ! But if I’m being honest , I’ll take my chances 🗣️OUTSIDE ! 🤣 sounds safer then the current situation.
@Maria-mq8pe
@Maria-mq8pe 11 місяців тому
I do not have sex just for having sex ~ when he dumped me I finally woke up it deeply hurt but it was a lesson learned ~ I have not been interested in relationship and I don't need the B S ~ Thank you Jesus
@sweetpea3599
@sweetpea3599 11 місяців тому
That’s so great you mentioned you fall in love right away instead of love happening over time. That’s what happened with my bf and I . We met . Felt an instant connection . We both felt like we always known each other forever but obviously we just met. We for about 8 hours straight the first day. Then everyday after ever since. But we both knew right away. We knew within the first few days in the first week. I tired to talk myself out of what I felt for him and he thought he was just as crazy for feeling in love too. We are way past our high school days . Both have kids that are in their 20’s so we thought this is just crazy . The connection was so strong between us immediately . It was actually really sweet , cute and funny that we both thought we must be crazy for both of us knowing this is the one right away . I thought ok I’m in love but this is just way too soon . He told me he loved me within the first 2 weeks. He said he just knew right away after we met . The funny part is I never told him that I knew right way too and tried to talk myself out of it thinking this is just crazy . He never told me he was thinking the same thing about himself. We both had that conversation a about knowing right away few months later . It’s been two years now that we’ve been together . We both want to spend our lives with each other. We had conversations about the fact we never thought something like this would ever happen like it did. Where you meet , have an intense deep connection and fall in love that quick . But it did. Stephen ,You are 100 percent correct about how real love works . It is right away .
@susankarambelas2430
@susankarambelas2430 11 місяців тому
Sounds like me and someone I met...
@passionflower522
@passionflower522 10 місяців тому
If it was so intense, why haven't you married? It's been 2 yrs. After 2 weeks he told you he loved you, and you commented like you've won the lottery.....and your not children....so why aren't you married?
@soiledskin
@soiledskin 10 місяців тому
💯 Absolutely, such a wonderful feeling! Hoping that you both have an amazing future together.✨️
@IVvOOvVI
@IVvOOvVI 10 місяців тому
@@passionflower522 she probably is rejoicing over his potential and not the true him. She is still in her feelings are not in her right mind.only time will tell if marriage is in the cards.
@TheBLESS-edOne.
@TheBLESS-edOne. 10 місяців тому
@@passionflower522 *Valid points; good question.*
@hopi9761
@hopi9761 8 місяців тому
I really appreciate this presenter. So genuine. His face is so sincere. Very grounded. Thank you 🙏
@susanlindsay7970
@susanlindsay7970 5 місяців тому
I had the same thing happen as Lisa and her husband. They came in with a fling but my relationship came in with just a conversation with neither of us looking or wanting a relationship. The connection was clear during the 3rd conversation and we both felt it. OMG We were very serious in 30 days. So fast. That was 90 days ago. Oh, by the way we are 80 yrs old.
@JustMe-ki3ce
@JustMe-ki3ce 5 місяців тому
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
hooy beep shiit ood livee bes8des 1980
@marlimar337
@marlimar337 10 місяців тому
Bro. When he said that compatibility had to do with social constructs, I was floored! I am in total agreement. It was such a great conversation. I'm glad I watched. Thank you for the content.
@QueenBee-fg1iz
@QueenBee-fg1iz Рік тому
Thanks to you and your channel I can no longer be f***ed with. He’s never going to get help, so I’m gone for good. He can play his games with her, his children, and their moms. 💪🏻
@carolejackson8357
@carolejackson8357 8 місяців тому
It's easier to feel like you have not been played if you didn't give your all. Sex is for marriage. It is made to be a bonding act.
@sharonbraselton4302
@sharonbraselton4302 5 місяців тому
nit 1980 toó 2009
@shesonfire_
@shesonfire_ 9 місяців тому
Loved this. As far as the fifty fifty thing. If we talk over the phone before the date you can simply ask the other person if they are traditional or modern. We can have those conversations before we go out to avoid confusion etc.
@lauracuell1526
@lauracuell1526 28 днів тому
The part about women's intuition is so validating. I've followed my intuition many times and second guessed myself, or been questioned by others and told I was making a mistake. But I knew.
@dkhowimalivev3633
@dkhowimalivev3633 Рік тому
This is why I stay single
@sharinaross1865
@sharinaross1865 Рік тому
You might be the wisest person that made a difference.
@SkyePhoenix
@SkyePhoenix 11 місяців тому
Yep!
@carolejackson8357
@carolejackson8357 8 місяців тому
My "nice guy" fiance slipped me a marijuana laced brownie two weeks before our wedding. No he doesn't tell the story that way; I overheard him twisting the story on the phone. Totally against my personal values. Deal breaker. We were never able to recover from that. Once he was no longer trying to impress me, he became his true self. People who knew us discerned something was hidden. But they never saw anything concrete. They prayed for the hidden to be revealed. Bam. I was fully in love w him. I said let's wait ... He said, "It now or never." Revealing. I chose never. That was 1983. I have had a wonderfully adventurous life. Best choice made.
@shybunnie2259
@shybunnie2259 9 місяців тому
I have learned so many lessons watching this. Just saw a post where a man asked a woman out for ice cream & she turned him down. I say that was a gentleman gesture. She thought he was being cheap.
@katieraehiphiphooray
@katieraehiphiphooray 2 місяці тому
Lots of men will say they are looking for serious or marriage to get you to move faster. It happens more and more now.
@prettybabessss
@prettybabessss 11 місяців тому
its rare that a youtube show can keep me engaged the entire 3 hours but this just flew by!! absolutely amazing people both of yall!
@haileynichelle8343
@haileynichelle8343 11 місяців тому
I hate him each time he says, "What women don't understand is..." You know what some men don't understand? THAT YOU MUST ASK FOR CONSENT BEFORE MAKING A MOVE. There needs to be a clear, continuous, and vocal "YES" from the woman. STOP ASSUMING THAT XYZ FACTORS (LIKE KISSING LATE AT NIGHT) IS AUTOMATIC CONFIRMATION OF HER CONSENT. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
@mister-zen8491
@mister-zen8491 3 місяці тому
Newsflash: jerks don't respect boundaries or consent. You get what you often choose.
@mayasheartdesiire
@mayasheartdesiire 2 місяці тому
THIS! Bc sexual coercion is a crime
@cathyjennings5580
@cathyjennings5580 11 місяців тому
Communication is 🔑 key. Examine that male . Is he marriage materials, skilled, mild tempered, gentle behaviors, etc.
@fredhartman1325
@fredhartman1325 8 місяців тому
Who wants dating advice from these two?
@laurendilaurentis6467
@laurendilaurentis6467 11 місяців тому
2:03:55 Umm what? If a man stops putting effort into a relationship with a woman because he's no longer intereste BUT continues to be intimate with her, IS USING. His excuse for men being "scared to hurt a woman's feelings" is a cop out and so stupid. A man doesn’t want to her a girls feelings by being honest but will continuously disrespect her? Like 💀
@nadiaoak5123
@nadiaoak5123 9 місяців тому
Yup it’s ridiculous & I can’t believe he is wiling to say that with a straight face publicly. Can’t take him seriously talking that way.
@Ace7of7Cups
@Ace7of7Cups 8 місяців тому
One of the worst cop-outs is them requesting is a "Break" and many of them get attached to a fantasy idea of you. Then when they learn more about you, they aren"t mature enough to handle grey areas or imperfections. Being in a relationship requires more active participation than the friendships which some of them have not learned either.
@Kurt5Dobson
@Kurt5Dobson 11 місяців тому
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
@DarylSimpson58
@DarylSimpson58 11 місяців тому
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@Kurt5Dobson
@Kurt5Dobson 11 місяців тому
@@DarylSimpson58 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@DarylSimpson58
@DarylSimpson58 11 місяців тому
@@Kurt5Dobson this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
@tishaadams2366
@tishaadams2366 11 місяців тому
This is so true. I like what he said about real love don't take a long time. To be honest the spiritual connection is confirmation that person is the one. Great video 💯
@KathrynCummings1
@KathrynCummings1 4 місяці тому
Yes!
@caroljenny7701
@caroljenny7701 2 місяці тому
The problem is that he won't just state that he's in it for sex. That's what is disingenuous about it. And lying by omission is still lying. It's still INTENTIONAL misleading someone to get what you want at their detriment.
@thanksmuch8547
@thanksmuch8547 11 місяців тому
When you say no sex before marriage, it weeds out all the unfaithful men & women. When you date a man he is one way. When you move in with that same man he changes & becomes different. When you marry that same man he is different again. If you base your marriage on sex & then one of you gets sick, or has an accident or becomes crippled, or she later has baby after baby, the sex changes or is not there for 2 years! He leaves because he's not use to that.
@n0426
@n0426 11 місяців тому
He played the long game just to get what he wants. Marriage doesn’t mean love it means he can get what he wants without feeling shamed in his community. That’s why they never care about the pregnancy period or raising the child.
@mikemaryniuk571
@mikemaryniuk571 2 місяці тому
You made a lot of assumptions here. Please don't put ALL men in the same box please.
@taniasterling2002
@taniasterling2002 8 місяців тому
Wish I knew this in my younger years...but hey better late than never...I found out all of this in my mid 40s...it is so true that men are NOT complicated...they either like you and wanna be with you or they just trying to get some booty....it's just that simple....I learned to wait at least 90 days before having sex....and during that 90 day period pay attention to how often they call you, wanna be with you etc...but dont give it up before 90 days, that's a quick way to weed out those SOBs.
@SpringHWhipple
@SpringHWhipple 7 місяців тому
I appreciate this so much. I'm dating a guy who I know we're both scared of getting hurt. He pulls away and that spirals my insecurities because of my 26 year marriage to a true narcissist. But yes, there are serial daters. I knew someone who used to do breakfast lunch and dinner dates with all different men. That free meal is a real thing out there. I was completely unaware until I would date someone after they'd been hit.
@the.ambernicole
@the.ambernicole Рік тому
Stephan would be an incredible therapist. Great content, always!
@TheBLESS-edOne.
@TheBLESS-edOne. 10 місяців тому
_Of-sort._ Truthfully, though, he chose the right field and role/position. He's not totally objective, and gets quite personal; he responds from experience-based wisdom, not [scholastic] educated analysis. His approach is _great_ as a coach _(but not_ meant for _psychology)._ It helps him to garner/gain more trust from those who want to feel understood through relatability. Of course he can go to school for formal training and a degree in psychology, to expand his practice, if he so wishes/d. I'd deem him a good candidate!
@azucarmorena5000
@azucarmorena5000 Рік тому
I’m only an 1 1/2 in. How is this 3 hours? He’s not giving real scenarios. I’m sure he means well but he goes too far to make men sound like these innocent, confused, shy victims.
@elusivebeauty711
@elusivebeauty711 Рік тому
2hrs in and it’s a lot circular discussion and mansplaining around why men don’t want to put real effort into courting/dating you properly. (I.e., not having the money to date multiple people, not feeling like the woman wants them sexually immediately, scared of being used/hurt, etc.)
@Adhara740
@Adhara740 Рік тому
He is giving good insight what are you talking about. Open your ears.
@Camillyahreal
@Camillyahreal Рік тому
The comment I was looking for he’s not being realistic he’s playing it safe
@Camillyahreal
@Camillyahreal Рік тому
@@Adhara740 it’s regurgitated in for three hours. That’s what he did.
@mindyann8903
@mindyann8903 Рік тому
Just watch Tony Gaskins sis - this dude isn’t it. Within the First 10 minutes of him talking about “you should tell a guy your on your period and ask if that’s ok “ lost me. 🚮
@cathynykolaishyn8926
@cathynykolaishyn8926 8 місяців тому
I’m so happy I heard this today. I’m divorced and saw the red flags but thought things would change. My heart was screaming no, but I had no one to talk with. I thought about his feelings not mine.
@FearfullyandWonderfullyMade.
@FearfullyandWonderfullyMade. 7 місяців тому
I pray over my life. Thank you Lord for covering and protecting me from the unattainable standards of dating in this society.
If He's Not Serious, STOP CHASING & Do This Instead... | RC Blakes
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одни дома // EVA mash @TweetvilleCartoon
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