You don't choose to be gay, you randomly watch NatM as a kid because your parents think it'd be a fun idea to get you into history, and you get a little too invested in a relationship between a roman and a cowboy.

POV you're a middle aged man working as a newbie guard and your work includes being a marriage counsellor to 2 (two) tiny miniatures.

I would like to thank the Night at the Museum franchise for inventing gay people

Friendly reminder that there are *TWICE* as many Jedtavius fics on AO3 as there are fics for all of James Cameron's Avatar.

Jedediah: I..have feelings for you Octavius: I…having feelings for you, my liege The writers for the movie: the feeling was friendship

When Jed says "I ain't quittin' you!" it's almost a direct Brokeback Mountain quote. Jack says "I wish I knew how to quit you"

Jed slowly fell in love while Octavius tripped and fell face first into it

the fact that Owen Wilson has played two different characters who’ve taken their husbands on a date to Pompeii is brilliant

Romans and Cowboys both historically gay. This ship is just accurate.

So the people in the Pompeii exhibit have to relive running for their lives from lava over and over again each night.

Fun fact: the third movie had Octavius being so fruity, people accused the movie of “pushing an agenda”.

I appreciate how they made Octavius more "open" with expressing his admiration for men. It's more historically accurate. There were lots of gay cowboys, but from what I understand, it was very hush hush out on the trails kinda stuff. No one's gonna look sideways at a good red blooded Roman citizen admirin' the male form.

Did I really spend 38 minutes looking at 2 tiny men falling slowly in love ? Yes

The funny thing is Romans had no problem with being gay, bisexuality was the norm. American settlers, however, were very Christian. So I'm going to imagine the Roman soldiers taking bets on how long until the get together, and having to explain to the railroad people that sexual tension between two men was a thing, and all the railroad workers going "ooooh"

34:43 Theres no straight explanation for saying “We’re just as god made us” as Dancing Queen plays in the background.

No one can convince me Jedediah wasn't Owen Wilson's favourite character to play ever. This man goes so hard throughout the whole role

Remember when Owen Wilson (Jedediah) said in an interview that Jedediah and Octavius's relationship was "almost like a love story" only to be interrupted by the director who was quick to clarify "a BROTHERLY love," and Wilson just nodded hesitantly? Good times.

24:53 Octavius gave Jed HIS sword instead of just getting someone else to give a sword, that’s love besties

I can’t describe how much I love the scenes where they zoom in and out to show Jed’s and Oct’s perspective and what any normal human would see lmao

24:53 is an underrated moment for me, octavius could've ordered the soldier offscreen to toss the sword to jed, but he gave HIS own sword to jed before getting the other one for himself

As a child I asked my uncle “Are the little men like you and Jimmy?” he was so confused because he had no clue what I meant. A year later I asked again while watching the movie and he said “Maybe”

I knew Oct was fruity when he denied that he wanted to hold Jed's hand and Jed's like "Mhmm" With a smug face. That was a LiTtLe Bit fRuItY

i know this is a jedtavius comp but the moment robin williams rode up on the horse as teddy roosevelt was so bittersweet it hurt my heart... what an icon

"Pure of heart... Dumb of ass" definitely the best description for these two adorable idiots. Plus Jedediah is truly a man ahead of his time (literally), not many guys willing to talk about their feelings like that in front of people.

If I had a nickle for everytime Owen Wilson witnessed Pompeii and just barely escaped with his boyfriend who he originally hated I would have two nickles which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

Man, I just realized they actually represented the Chinese immigrants working on the railroad in the first scene. That pretty much never happens in any kind of western

Jed saying “let’s ride” is the most boyfriend thing he could have said to his passenger princess gf Octavius 12:58

Also I'd like to point out one of my favorite moments, when Octavius give Jed his sword ( 24:52 ) instead of just giving an extra. The fact that he gave him his personal weapon then got a different one is super cute to me. Sorry if that didn't make sense (　-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷄◞ω◟-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷅ )

After hearing that some people didn't know Owen Wilson before Loki, I have lost my faith in humanity.

Is no one gonna acknowledge Octavius’ UKposts name “Octodaddy”

I almost forgot what a potentially healthy relationship these two have

13:34 Jed: You weren't here, gigantor, that's how it happened! Ain't no mystery! Octavius: *being a supportive boyfriend/husband

Fun fact, after Octavius breaks the glass of the hourglass, the shattered hole seems to be in a heart-like shape

To be fair, the zoom outs where you can't hear them is funny.

The fact that Jed could just keep climbing to the top of the sand instead of just sitting in the middle to be consumed, like dude

“You can’t do this. I’m a Roman general. I have rights.” WAS THE BEST LINE EVER

Historians (for the first time): _"And they were really gay friends."_ Edit: I would also like to point out that Octavius' nickname is **breathe in** _OCTODADDY_

So the tablet can make the Pompeii diorama generate real lava but can't make Jed's guns work?

And Steve (Octavius' actor) said he was being *subtle* with the gae, like boy we lysm but you ain't slick. 😂😂😂

I'd like to thank the NatM trilogy for making me thirst for Rami, become overly interested in Napoleon, and become a full on Jedtavius shipper Also for having such wack ass comedy that my brain still laughs at it every time I rewatch the series

Fun fact, in Roman times, yellow was considered THE most effeminate color, and men who were gay were referred to as having "yellow morals". The fact that part of Octavius's outfit is yellow means he's gay AF, historically speaking (or the costume designer never learned about color history)

"Let us go son" *suddenly remembers this was Robin William's last movie* Well I definitely didn't expect to be in tears over a fucking Jedtavius compilation

I think it says a lot that the SECOND they stopped fighting for good in the first film, they became inseparable. They went RIGHT from always fighting to never leaving each others' side for more than a few seconds if they could help it and remained joined at the hip for the rest of the three movies and that less good animated movie too

24:42 at first i also thought "what the heck it literally got thrown all the way through the room and the helmet broke it?" But now i get it. It's the power of love

25:57 "this ol' cowboy just got to second base" bruh

Jedediah putting Octavius in that pillory/stockade is kinda kinky ngl

“you can’t catch the light, it’s as elusive as human happiness” who hurt jed

17:12 in the Italian dub he says "you know there's 2 words come to mind when I hear you talk, hysterical and hysterical. And if I had to say a third hysterical yeah hysterical"

I always loved that Jed insisted on sitting directly under the falling sand in the hourglass

"never thought I'd ever fight alongside a Legionary" "How about alongside a Friend" "Yeehaw I could do that"

I liked how they turned something that honestly could’ve been a good horror into probably one of the most memorable, fun childhood movies little me ever watched!

I love how the Larry acts like their dad. "I might if you promise to behave" is a perfect example of that lmao.

Was not expecting one of my comfort movie series to come back into my life out of the blue but I’m not complaining

I'm sorry, I know the pan out joke they do every movie where it shows how small they are isn't funny, but everytime it happens it cracks my shit up. I can't help it, I love physical comedy.

I can't believe I never thought about this but why do we never question the fact that Jed can drive

34:53 I’ve never realized that Octavius actually called him handsome 😂

8:42 me, gazing longingly into Ahkmenrah's eyes: man... Rami sure did look pretty there...

“What’s a flapjack?” “It’s like a biscuit or a scone.” The fact that he answered him directly instead of brushing off that question.👌🏻

Did y'all miss him saying "C'mon Ocky!" at 10:35?? The nickname stage lmao

[33:41] notice how Octavius just stood there quietly, assuming he’s stunned seeing Lancelot the first time? Literally the scene afterward he says “You’ll rue the day you mocked us with your huge sword and hypnotic blue eyes! ….His eyes are very blue.” It’s the epiphany of “oh no he’s hot…”

Octavius is so obviously simping for Jedediah-and I saw that little smirk after the vent hand-holding question. You’re fooling no one, Jed 😏

The way I see it, each movie represents a phase of their relationship. In the first movie, they are enemies for the most part of it but become friends near the end. That friendship continues and transitions into the second movie, where it grows stronger and ~maybe~ starts to become something else, at least for Octavius. And then we have the third movie, where they have a established and strong relationship as friends now but things are a bit "fuzzy" because of Octavius' feelings for Jed and Jed being completely oblivious of Oct's feelings (and maybe his own feelings) until he finally has to confront them (when Oct asks him to hold his hand for the first time). So, throughout the movie, Octavius tries to "make moves" on Jed, showing Jed (in a subtle but not so subtle way) that he has a crush on him, which Jed slowly acknowledges and processes by himself until near the end of the movie, where he finally takes Octavius' hand as a symbol of him accepting and reciprocating his romantic feelings. So, to simplify: First movie - enemies to -> Second movie - friends to -> Third movie - lovers. Did I just spent approximately 30 minutes analysing the homoromantic subtext in a children's franchise? Yes, I did. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

Incredible how a comic movie had actually better historical equipment than historical documentaries Those damn leather loricas hunt me in my dreams

0:50 unrelated but I just now noticed that the western diorama also included Chinese railroad workers as well as cowboys, which as a Chinese American I think was very poggers of them

The most underrated part of these movies is when Octavius literally tries to get President Obama to rescue his boyfriend. It makes me go 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 every time

My personal head-canon is that they were exes and that’s why they hated each other. It seemed too personal for it just to be “we fight because we’re on different sides.” Neither of them seemed to dislike the other side it was more like they just butted heads with each other and there people followed them. Also saying kids are too young to understand that people can be gay is so dumb. I remember when I was a kid I was thinking oh yeah they’re gonna kiss and then when they didn’t I was so confused. 11:26 Of course they’re gay. They don’t know how to drive!

As a kid I hyperfixated on this trilogy, watched all three every day for 6 years. I came back to the fandom two years later, after Loki, and seeing that there's more than 30 people in the fandom makes me SO FRICKIN HAPPY!!! Thanks everyone in the small fandom, for just existing, you make me unbelievably happy ♡

“Oooooh Pompeii” is of the funniest scenes in cinema history

I haven't watched this movie since I was a kid, I just realized they had Asian actors/people tying him down because they were the railroad workers. You can even hear them singing a work song in chinese as they're hammering in the nails. Wow that's such a cool detail.

"an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, mutual pining 100k slowburn" my favourite fanfic!

25:44 GUYS GUYS THE HOURGLASS THE HOLE IN THE GLASS IS A HEART LOVE WINS

“It’s as elusive as human happiness!” Why am I just now catching that line? That’s probably the most relatable line I’ve ever heard.

I think it's really funny how Octavius didn't know what a flap jack, alluding they contain only the knowledge of their specific period, and yet Jedediah clearly knows about Gigantor despite the anime only coming out in the 1960s. now the only question is how this man even found out about anime

So lemme get this straight. Loki wasn't the first time Owen Wilson went to Pompeii. Got it.

I love how Octavius is thirsting over Lancelot at every chance he gets 😄

More people should acknowledge the "Yeehaw! Come on Ocky" and then the genuine "Yeehaw! Woo!" In return, its golden

36:18 The fact that this was Robin Williams' last movie before he went ruins me

Wether it’s romantic or completely platonic, the chest bump bit is adorable

how the fuck do the homophobes here lack the basic common sense to realize that "quite homophobic if you ask me" is a fucking joke dldsksk

34:33 me and the girlies on our way to the convention via public transport

26:28 "You can't catch it the light! It's as elusive as human happiness!" Jed, are you okay-

I love how Larry is basically the dad and Roosevelt is the grandpa

Jedidah "I dont like to be manhandled!" Octavius "that's not what you said last night......."

"Why does this sound like a custody battle" Had me ROLLING 🤣🤣

As someone who's stepped on an earring more times I can count, if those swords can damage the shoes that bad they would fucking hurt

“We’re just as god made us” interesting piece of dialogue…

I just love how everyone shipped them before knowing what shipping even is

did no one else notice that the second car that they got after the yellow one exploded is blue and red, wich are basically Jedediah and Octavius color schemes? My headcanon is they chose the car together so it had their colors.

octavius could literally have gotten someone else to give their sword to jed and kept his own but he didn’t 👀 coincidence?

In the others trilogy you can see other roman soldiers and cowboys talking to each other or are standing next to each other. So these two have a powerful influence on their team.

*walks up to a couple* So which of you is the cowboy and which is the Roman general?

That moment where you wrote "pure of heart... dumb of ass..." lives in my head rent free tbh

Meet Lawrence Daley: Night guard, adventurer, and couples counselor.

You are the backbone of this fandom

I love Owen Wilson, he always has this sense of charisma in his delivery.

They really loved the "intense action followed by pan-out" joke

Octavius' helmet is not coming off cause I think there are straps going under his chin wich hold the helmet completely still on his head :) dunno if it's accurate but at least it makes sense for that one scene lmao EDIT : OR maybe cause they're plastic figurines and the helmet is litteraly glued on

"It feels good, doesn't it, Jedediah?" "Boy, you said it!" That sounds so different out of context

Octavius & Jedediah: Not cooperating 6:11 - So, you have chosen couples counseling

I love how the Jedediah and Octavius scenes take up like 40 minutes of the movie.