"I was told they were my enemy" Literally every war ever

The real enemy is EXTREMISM that completely shuts out the other side, regardless of which way you lean.

"Humanizing your enemy leads to your community dehumanizing you" Brilliant!!!

“I wasn’t actually listening” the root of so many of our problems today. Opposing sides don’t hear each other, if they did they may cease to oppose and work together. We’ve all had lessons in humility, thanks for having the courage to share.

When you dehumanize your enemy you feel more justified in attacking them.

“It’s not a contest, but I kept making it into one” Perfectly sums up the issues at hand

I was falsely accused by a woman for turning her down, and this made me cry.

For me, this woman has instantly revived some of the little faith I had in society.

“When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community.”

She gets it, equality should not be about punishing the other side, it should be about lifting each other up.

As a male, falsely accused, I can't thank you enough. Abuse definitely goes both ways. 💯 (Autocorrect changed "falsely" to "fairly", and "abuse" to "about".) 😔

The part about “wrongly accused” so rung a bell for me. Not often, but several times during my career. I saw how men and women claiming domestic violence victimhood were significantly treated differently. I will share the one that sticks in my crawl, the most, even after all these decades. As a Police Officer ( now retired) in a metro of nearly 200K pop at the time, I took & investigated a complaint of Domestic Violence-Related Kidnapping. The complainant gave a verbal and written account of how her ex-husband used the presence of wanting to work some things out, held her hostage and in fear of her life for hours until they happened to stop for a traffic signal near her mom’s house. There she claimed to have jumped out of the car and fled to Mom’s house. She gave vague times and locations (citing mental trauma) but an intimately detailed description of their clothes and car. Because of how our State & local laws & policies were written I was either to locate the subject & interview him (as in -functionally- locate & communicate with him within about half an hour), or put out an Apprehension Request on him (essentially jail him until either I or a Judge spoke to him). Even if I communicated with him, if there was even a reasonable possibility that the complainant was correct, he would still be jailed. I actually found him at home about 10 minutes after I finished speaking with the complainant. He was cooperative and came with me to the department for questioning. His account paralleled that of the complainant with significant differences. He gave very specific location and time information of their whereabouts for the evening and question. He stated that she had wanted to celebrate his birthday by going out that evening. He further said the night ended nicely with her, giving him a kiss goodbye in the car, getting out, and then actually running down the block as he left… To give him one more good night kiss through his driver window. I knew the locations given, and all were known to have excellent video security elements. Within 48 hours, I had obtained five, good quality to excellent quality video accounts of what occurred that evening evening - including (miraculously) an owner voluntarily submitted ring, doorbell, video of the , Chase and second good night kiss. In contacting the complainant back for a secondary interview, she double downed on her account, claiming that he had actually choked her in the car just before she jumped out and escaped. When I completed the investigation, I referred the complainant to the district attorneys office For two counts of filing a false police report, and one count of obstructing an officer (because the video evidence completely exonerated the subject, and completely contradicted the complaints story). The end result was the district attorney declined to press charges. In a quote off the record” conversation some months later, a secretary told me that the talk in the office was that it would not look good at election time to have charged a female, domestic violence complainant such charges. Further, I received a verbal and written “tongue, lashing“ from one of our detective captains regarding my investigation. I was specifically told that, instead of wasting my time, trying to prove the complaints guilt, I should have concentrated my efforts on, proving the subject was guilty. my options going forward were to either drop the batter, or risk being suspended for insubordination (putting both my and my family’s livelihood at risk). Yes - there is a significant discrepancy when it comes to how persons on this topic are treated in the legal and judiciary system: and it is not even handed.

The fact she actually said "i wasnt actually listening to them. I was loooking for flaws" made me respect her. Not only she renewed her world view. But she also became honest of what she felt at that moment and was not ashamed of admitting her mistake.

From a father who escaped an abusive marriage but is still trying to save his son... Thank you!

As a woman I scrolled past this only later to it again. It is a TED Talk so I begrudgingly listened… Glad I did! Kudos to you ma’am

You don't have to blow out someone elses candle to make yours shine brighter... in fact it only makes it darker... this is the point you are making... thank you... my son was the one abused in his marriage and was actually dead before his time because of the woman... she was always given deference... and my son was ignored...

This is peak character development

“We have to stop expecting to be offended” are the wisest words I’ve heard in a long time.

"Empowered Voices: A Journey Through Feminism" Great one. Pageturn Junction where to find. Loved it!!!

"We have to stop expecting to be offended, and we have to start truly, openly, and sincerely listening." This right there, would solve most hate crimes, Racism, sexism, classism, and most issues us as humans have with each other!

Until this point, I wasn't even aware that men's right movements exist.

When someone admits they’re wrong or are able to see the other persons point , they earn my full respect

its been 6 year since the video is posted , still no change is there in society

The last 2 minutes are something truly impressive. Everyone can apply this to their life, EVERY group. This woman is very intelligent.

Some men are good, some women are good. Some men are bad, some women are bad.

“When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community.” What a sadly raw, honest statement.

I recently just got out of a financial struggle that had me homeless for almost 4 months. and I wont ever forget the day I traveled 2 hours by bus to get to the only homeless shelter that sheltered men in the whole city and this lady steped out of the company car and told about 40 men we need to get to stepping cause their are only rooms available for women.and that's the day it realized society does not care at all about a man well being

I almost cried watching this because it hit so close to home. Thank you Cassie for having the courage to stand up for us, not many people do. I'm not a religious person but I see you as a saint. Wishing the best for you, yours and everyone.

"We Have to STOP EXPECTING to be Offended, & WE have to START TRULY, Openly & Sincerely Listening" KILLED IT

"as an interviewer you don't interrupt." there is something you dont see in today's mainstream media.

Feminists seem to like dictionary definitions, so here is one: Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I always hear that women are more empathetic than men, but I'm not so certain with feminists. It took time, but this woman finally found empathy. We need more like her.

Once in a while, the toxic movements that define our public discourse produce a genuine authentic and honest advocate. And such people, when they bring their honesty to the confrontation with the corruption they represent, they discover they can no longer support the movement that once owned their allegiance. Cassie Jaye is one of these. Excellent content.

"When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community " this is so true .

"When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community". So true.

Ugh having been falsely accused of abuse when in fact my ex was the one that was violent, this hit home. It took her own sister testifying against her for me to get custody of my kids. Ridiculous.

That was so outrageously beautifully spoken. I'm appalled that I've not heard about this particular ted talk until now, However, I'm glad it eventually made it's way onto my suggestions.

When 3 of my 4 children were born, the hospital's policies would not allow me to be alone with them, including when my wife was sleeping. We were provably married, my wife even gave consent, but their policies still prohibited me based on the *possibility* that I was an abusive man. As a loving, religious, married and involved husband and father, I don't think I've ever felt as diminished in my life.

12:28 "It turns out I did meet my enemy while filming, it was my ego." That's powerful. Mad respect to this woman for her humbleness.

I love the women who research these gender based topics and come to realise where they stand on these issues. It's heartening to hear a woman vouch for us who may not be able to / not be confident to say it out loud. I hope to see progress in gender equality during my lifetime. ❤

This aged like fine wine

"We have to stop expecting to be offended" - really hit the nail in the head with that line.

This lady is the perfect example of what happens when you actually use your brain

As a man, this woman inspires me to make sure I constantly challenge myself to see things from other people’s perspectives and to challenge my own pre-existing notions. Her story is a journey of empathy.

I was so ready to vilify This woman and scream at my TV. I watched in silence and I wept. Kudos to this courageous humanist.

“We have to stop expecting to be offended” Twitter and TikTok: *that wasn’t very cash money of you*

Once during a college debate I spoke about Men's rights and I was stopped midway and made to apologise for daring to speak for men's issues as if it was somehow anti woman. I was villified and called a misogynist, sexist bigot by the same feminists who claim they care for gender equality. Totally sick mentality.

Thank you for being the only woman in human history to actually stop and LISTEN to what the men have to say. Wonderful.

What an amazing human. She brought up concerns that I, as a grown man with two boys, have been thinking about for years. To be able to see “the other side” is not common for anyone. I’m guilty of failing at it just like everyone else. When my boys are old enough to fully grasp what she’s saying, I will be showing them her speeches and documentaries. What a great lesson for them. This is what a leader looks like. I bet her parents are very proud of her.

Did I just witness logic on the internet? Quick somebody pinch me

This woman is so smart. She realized her bias and her dismissal and fixed it instead of justifying it. Bravo!

Coming to terms with your enemy does not mean submitting to your enemy.

She acknowledged that the only things she learned about the Men’s Rights Movement came from biased viewpoints online. However she was open minded enough to see from the other side’s point of view. Respect x100

"We have to stop expecting to be offended" That right there.

She is a very rare human, the one who can admit they were wrong.

The amount of compassion and empathy she is capable of is emotionally moving.

She can be the saviour of our race! She has sanity! Integrity! She deserves respect of all men! I felt proud of her! Sanity, sense, sensibility and grace! I have never seen someone like her before!

“When you start to humanize the enemy. You become dehumanized by your community” Amazingly put.

As cool as this is, the whole talk boils down to “I decided to actually listen to someone with a different opinion and changed my views based on new information”. It’s sad that this has to be glorified when it should just be the norm.

Wow... just wow. Your talk was nothing short of a genuine honesty and all too rarely seen introspective evolution in real time as seen through and communicated via the eyes of a documentary creator/artist. It was quite a brilliant presentation. I'm grateful to you that you made it. Bravo.

"No one will ever listen to you more than someone who transcribes your words." I fully agree with this statement. When you're transcribing, it's impossible to only hear the things you want to hear, because you have to pay attention to every single word that's being said.

This woman has simply gone to a higher level of understanding, she is far beyond a thought of gender, she is clear about the true sense of equality, she has my deepest respect.

this woman should have been Captain Marvel

Who is here after watching dhruv rathee feminism video 😂😂

Way way way way wayyyyy too many people look at mens rights as just ”anti-feminism” man these replies are getting old

I respect this woman for acknowledging her bias and having the humility to shed it.

Girl you gotta love your man, take him by the hand, make him understand, the world on you depends our life will never end. Gotta love your man.

She ended up becoming a better version of herself by listening to her "enemies".. Beautiful Soul who's emitting sensitivity & compassion! Thank You Cassie Jaye!

If she was met with hostility for saying this, imagine how a man would be treated who says the exact same thing. That's why you're not hearing this much.

Three years of hindsight later, Cassie Jaye paid dearly for her blasphemy against Modern Feminism. She was bullied, threatened and deplatformed by guess who? Hint, it wasn't men.

I had the great good fortune to meet and have a conversation with Cassie Jaye at a screening of the movie and meet and greet here in Calgary. It was hosted by the Men's Educational Support Association(M.E.S.A.) which I was a founding Charter signing member of in the mid 90's. She is a well spoken, articulate young woman who put so much of herself into this project that the inner turmoil she experienced is obvious in the finished product. Would definitely Recommend!

It’s almost been six years since this was released and I feel as if we’re a lot farther from the middle ground of honest and open conversation than we’ve ever been. People are just becoming more and more consumed with their own egos and it’s a truly sad thing to see.

I haven’t seen my two boys in almost 5 years despite having joint legal custody. I’ve spent a half million dollars in court with no success. You see, I’m the dad so I’m the bad guy. Men’s issues are real. So glad this lady had the guts to admit that.

You know our society is rotten when a person talking about equality, is seen as controversial

This program should be shown at every learning institution in the world. Absolutely the most brilliant and perfect synopsis of our age.

I knew about her in 2013 while she was making the film. I expressed the same sentiments to my friends and family and had the same extreme ostracism and dehumanization. I was universally reviled and pushed on and took it because I couldn't stand by and accept this. Now many of them have likely seen this talk. They'll say "oh but you were more 'extreme.'" I was not! Your perception of extreme was marked by your bias, which has changed with socio-political fashion. Will I get a single apology? Not one until the day I die. Do I regret it? Never!

As a man who is still trying to cope with a false accusation thank you

This is healthy, listening to the other side is healthy. Don’t let the elite divide us

Upending your belief system takes both an amazing level of self awareness and an incredible amount of courage. How wonderful could the world be if we all looked at the human condition from this lady’s perspective, or at least, with her intellectual agility.

This video should be mandatory viewing for everyone. We're better and more powerful when we come together than when we're pitted against one another, fighting against the person next to us rather than for positive societal change.

It seems she learned to fight for equality not superiority

"When you start to humanize your enemy, you in turn may be dehumanized by your community" Damn

What's scary about this is how hard it was for her to finally see the truth. Most people are not going to have her fortitude.

It’s refreshing to see people being honest with themselves & thinking things through. I searched, “what is misandry?” And this is the only video that came up that was Not vilifying men. I really appreciate this woman for her honesty. ☮️❤️

I have great respect for that women. It takes a lots of guts to tell a story where you describe yourself as the vilain...

"When you start to humanize your enemy, you, in turn, may be dehumanized by your community."

See and that's the difference between an argument and a debate. An argument is when you don't listen to the other person and you're just waiting for your turn to talk, a debate is when you listen to the other person and come up with an intelligent rebuttal. A lot of people men and women like to argue but most do not like to debate

It frightens me how so many people have forgotten the difference between "equality" and "superiority" coming to this matter, coming from both sides.

Why such a "common sense" speech sounds revolutionary nowadays? We are living strange times where insanity took over.

I feel like the problem here is that everyone keeps calling it “men’s rights” or “women’s rights” when it’s honestly just “human rights” Also this video made me really happy thank you Edit: sweet Jesus I didn’t want to start a controversy I just wanted to post my opinion.

Wonderful when you see someone willing to look inside and change their minds. Very impressive young woman. More of us need to face into the tough learnings. Well done!

This is the FIRST, I hear, true wisdom. I stand with her, though the battle seems lost for ALL these days. Open minds, open hearts, see all of us, as special and flawed. This lady needs to be heard MORE!

Single father here. Closer to my DAUGHTER than she is with her mother. I woke up in the middle of the night during infancy not her. I was cheated on and abandoned then forced to pay child support in a JOINT custody agreement where I have her 50% of the time. I've been put through the ringer and continue to be and nobody cares. Glad to hear this. Men aren't always what society pretends they are. Respect to all the single moms out there no disrespect. Respect to all the good dads too.

Why can’t the definition of a strong woman be more like this...

One of my favorite quote of all time: “When I understand my enemy well enough to defeat him, then in that moment, I also love him.” --- Ender's Game

This is potentially one of the most important videos in our modern world

She has gained my respect. Her well spoken, calm, logical, presentation is a rarity today.

She's the type of strong woman little girls should be looking up to 💚

Amazing. She is a courageous woman. I have so much respect for her. Standing up for what is right in the face of adversity. Well done!

Thank you for this!!! While I’ve not been accused of committing any of the misogynist “crimes” you mentioned, just listening to you express amazement at how many instances of potential male abuse there exist today in our society helped me realize that yes, men truly do deserve at least as much compassion as do women for coping with their own issues! Listening to you brought me the realization that all of the anti-masculinity rhetoric has negatively affected how I relate to women. I almost cried at the realization of the weight of it!

It's a beautiful thing when someone, ANYONE, can stand up and say "I was wrong so now I want to put things right".