I remember my first time taking drugs. I was 6 years old. Had a real nasty cough that I just couldn't shake. So I hit the cough syrup in hopes that I'd find relief at the bottom of the bottle.

That opening where the speaker stands up in the front row, so accurate.

dude how can the guy in the hoodie be 30? he's literally

There is a fourth one, its just the teachers playing a video of one presenting at another school.

"I found that out... the hard way"

One time this woman came to our school to teach sex ed and some kid in the audience asked if you could get stds from an animal and she told him to ask his dad

"That's very rude. I've rehearsed this."

If anyone ever says they're "just like you", they're probably the furthest away from you as possible

"yeah, I just said the ass word in the audiTORIUM. LETS GO" hahaha so good

My school had a speaker who broke over 100 bones in a motorcycle accident. I learned that day to never again race motorcycles on the street or in the house.

Now all that's missing is some roided pep talker who rips a phone book in half.

I fucking lost it when he said his 12 year old nephew is depressed LMAO

You forgot about the guy who actually knows how to motivate students, but gets rushed off stage by the staff because he’s too real.

"What do YOU know about being a little kid?"

Definitely had all of these speakers throughout school. Also had a weird yoyo madness one that was secretly like a christian group and they were telling us not to do peer pressure and drugs in elementary school??

the desperation to seem relatable. the half-hearted attempts to connect back to the topic. stunning

I remember in middle school, the speaker said "ass" then paused for the cheering and laughter, while doing the hand gesture that signals to lower the volume.

We once had someone end their talk by telling us we should sign a contract as soon as we were 17 that meant we’d be legally obliged to do at least one tour of duty in the military as soon as we finished university, but they’d pay for university fees.

we had a kid in high school that wasnt wearing a seatbelt, lost control while speeding and ended up paralyzed from the waist down, the school pushed him into being a 'full time' motivational speaker and at every event would have him on stage talking about overcoming adversity and being brave until one kid yelled at the end of the year 'shoulda worn a seatbelt' and kinda discredited him from then on

"They will find you, and each song is $80000 fine"