Check out PART 2: MORE U.S. SOCAL NORMS TO AVOID IN FRANCE: ukposts.info/have/v-deo/kZxqmXylkGNorqc.html

When I first visited France I went into many shops/stores and DID NOT say bonjour to the clerk or salespeople. I remember people seeming rather rude to me. Several years later after reading up on French culture I learned the importance of this social interaction and on my next trip I went out of my way to say bonjour to people in these situations and it made A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE. I felt welcomed and people smiled and were helpful. Such an important tip and so very different from how we interact with frontline workers in the USA.

In France, there is a simple rule I think : Be friendly only with your friends, and polite with others. Being friendly with a stranger is often felt like something rude (it can be ok for people in their 20s or younger)

as a french, i'm completely shocked that it's not common everywhere to say Hello when entering a shop !! Really proves your point that it's deeply cultural cause I can't imagine people not doing that and not be considered assholes lol

So true! Exemple : if you skip the 'bonjour' in a french shop and ask directly the vendor (even politely) for information about a product, most probably, she/he'd just answer 'Bonjour!' in a slightly irritated tone then pause and wait; so you know you need to repeat your question starting with 'bonjour' 😅

The "uh-hum" thing for "you're welcome" actually shocked me when I first encountered it. It felt like the person was saying "that's right, you can thank me"😂

Even though I live in the US, I've adopted the French habit of always saying hello when I encounter anyone, and it has actually made a positive difference in how I am treated. Maybe we Americans need to adopt more French social norms.

Bonjour! Great explanation, only you've skipped one of the most important, in my opinion: in France (not only, also in Spain, Italy, Greece, etc), time for meals is sacred, meant not just for nourishment but also as a break, a moment for good conversation, a relaxing time. Eating at work in your own desk so that you can keep working along or having your lunch in 10-15 minutes or while walking or standing is considered absolutely uncivilized. Having a meeting with a workmate or subordinate while having your lunch without interrupting it and with your mouth full of food is seen directly rude. In general, not giving meals their own time and space, not having respect for meal time, is considered, I absolutely agree, uncivilized.

Très bonne analyse de certaines habitudes françaises. C’est toujours impressionnant de voir quand un étranger a atteint un tel niveau de compréhension de la culture française !

Our U.S. born and raised friend who had been married to a Parisian man, and had lived there for years, told my spouse and I to always say bonjour when entering a business in Paris. We practiced saying bonjour for weeks after that. We followed her advice and said bonjour every time we entered a business. Sometimes they would immediately engage with us by speaking French but, most of the time, they spoke English and were very polite and professional. Best advice we received about visiting Paris.

What you said about activities after dinner is actually really important. From what I've seen Americans and also a lot of people in the UK or the Netherlands eat early but then keep being active. Like eat dinner and then go to a sports class from 8. For most french (but also Italian, Spanish...) people, dinner is THE END OF THE ACTIVE DAY. Any activities you have (sport, piano lessons, homework or whatever) is done between 6 and 8 and then you eat and after that you just chill watch a film, read, play video games...

In Italy “buongiorno” is a little bit less important than in France, but “grazie” is always and absolutely requested.

As a French I confirm everything you said. Bravo for this accurate explanation of the French informal social codes. Because it also helps to understand what is the norm in the US too. 😅

Bringing your own birthday cake ensures that no one's birthday is missed/overlooked, & saves those who don't wish to celebrate from being sort of obliged to, it's a great way of doing it.

Before I went on my first visit to France I read up on social norms. I went out of my way to make sure I smiled, made eye contact, greeted people with, "Bonjour." before I politely asked if they spoke English. Lol I found everyone to be very friendly and kind with me wherever I went which made my trip even more memorable. 💋 Loved France ❤🗼🇫🇷

The baby shower thing is also true for gender reveal. You'll most likely never see that in France. For the birthday at work, i'd say people don't expect you to bring anything, it's completely fine if you don't want to celebrate, but yeah definitely don't expect your coworkers to bring you cake unless you're friends.

That's a truly helpful video. As a French, I can vouch for the "bonjour" part. We're all told to say "bonjour" since we're old enough to talk, so yes, it's mandatory. I once forgot to say "bonjour" in Paris subway to a railroad employee, before asking him a direction. The train was about to leave, I was obviously in a hurry, but he refused to answer my question and just told me "BONJOUR" in a very cold way, as a manner to remind me "why the hell aren't you saying it, you jerk?" And while this was Paris, full of tourist and in a hurry, litterally a minute before that train leave, politeness DO still applies. By french standards: that railroad employee wasn't rude to me, and I was rude to him by not saying "bonjour", none of the special circomstances were an acceptable excuse. By the way: it's not widely known, but in France the only people who never say "bonjour" during work hours are funeral house employees. Because "bonjour" litterally means "good day", and it's not a good day. So they're trained not to say "bonjour" and "au revoir" (which means "I'll see you again") to people they visit for work, and it's a hard habit to break. Just so you know, if you have to visit a funeral house in France, if you start by "bonjour", the clerk will not say it back, and simply answer by "monsieur" or "madame". It's not rudeness, it's a kindness: this clerk is fighing the "bonjour" habit to avoid wishing you a "good day" while you're mourning.

Hi ! Frenchie here 👋 saying "mmh mmh" exists in French but it means "yes", "I agree", or it's a sign to show that you're following the conversation when listening to someone speaking. I'd definitely be confused if someone said mmh mmh if I hold a door

Regarding "Bonjour": Here is an example of how i was raised in France, as a french. This will help you understand. When i was a kid, every morning, when i went downstairs for breakfast and entered the kitchen... If my father was already there, i had to say "bonjour" first thing. He would never let me sit or say anything else unless i complied. This applied not only at breakfast, but the first time we met every day. He would say... "Bonjour?" "Bonjour?" "Get outside, do it again". It was an absolute. As a matter of fact, now, if you come to me and don't say "Bonjour", this sounds as if you were talking to me as if i were your dog. That won't fly. Different french people have had different experiences, but overall, this is how it is.

the bonjour part was very accurate! As a french person I definitely feel like saying hello is a way to acknowledge someone's presence and that they are worthy of some attention. If you skip that part it feels either like you're considering people as inferior, not worth the time or seem to not like them somehow. I'd say it is even more important than saying "please" when ordering something as long as you say thanks when you get what you want.

"Bonjour!" - In much of England, saying "hello" to a stranger at a bus stop (in fact, most public places) is far too intense, and will likely freak them out. It denies them the opportunity to politely ignore you if they don't fancy chatting. Instead, you should mutter something under your breath as an invitation to converse, without creating an obligation. For instance: (muttered quietly) "When is that bloody bus getting here!" If the other person wants to join in, they can. If not, you both treat it as though you were just thinking aloud and no response was required. No awkwardness; life goes on. EDIT: Tip: The person who chooses to join in should also proceed tentatively, so that the intensity and likely duration of the ensuing conversation can be established gently. That person should not launch into an incessant rant about the unreliability of public transport, how their terrible boss will reprimand them again for being late, the state of society, the corruption in the government, or the impending "end of the world as we know it". Or whatever. An invitation to chat is not an offer to provide endless free counselling. 😉

Great video! I hugged a clerk at the Hermes store because I was so happy to find a scarf I had been searching for. She looked at me for a second like I was crazy! Then she said "It's ok, I was born in America so I know you are happy huggers!" Ooops!

As an older British person, I would say that almost all of this also applies in Britain. British people never say ‘you’re welcome’ and despite my having a brother in America, I had no idea about uh mmm, I would probably have thought it rude. British people would make a response appropriate to the situation. Also in the countryside where I live it is normal to say ‘Good morning’ or ‘hello’ etc to everyone and would certainly be expected in small shops. When I worked, the convention was that you brought a cake in on your birthday. Also baby showers were unknown in the uk until recently and are considered an American import if they do happen. I was brought up to consider it rude to talk about money. Also my generation who grew up during and after the war when food was rationed would consider it rude to leave uneaten food on your plate but this probably no longer applies to the younger generation. It is well known that the British do not normally strike up conversations with strangers. Despite speaking a similar language, Americans should not consider the British are the same as them. However younger people may be more influenced by American culture.

Very good points! Actually, as a French, it makes me reflect on my own culture and behavior. A couple of remarks linked to the video: - Bonjour : agree, it is an absolute prerequisite in France. Actually, it is so much imbedded in the French culture that for me, having been living in Asia for two decades, I still cannot stand anyone who does not say me "bonjour" (in any language) before interacting with me. This leaves me frustrated. To other people whom I systematically greet, I probably sound over-polite, maybe even suspicious. In France, if you go to the bakery and you do not say "bonjour" to the lady before you order, she surely won't be agreeable to you. Conversely, it is often not necessary to go too far in politeness, especially with people you do not know. In USA, when I thank someone after asking a casual question in a store, for example, the systematic "you are VERY welcome" sounds really over the top to me, forced and almost ironic (even if it isn't!). - Money : it's a no-no topic of conversation in France. Historically, France was very catholic and it was a virtue to be poor (or at least to pretend to be). For some reason, this has permeated into out culture and today money is still taboo. If you mention how much you bought something, even casually, the French will immediately think you are trying to brag. Instead, you can say "it was a little expensive but worth it" (you will spark their curiosity and they may ask you the price if they feel comfortable with it). - Casualness : I really like how Americans are usually cool and easy to start a conversation with strangers. It often makes my day. In France, people are more private and would tend to not talk spontaneously to people they do not know (except for "bonjour", "s'il vous plait, "merci" that are considered the bare minimum). However, past the first surprise, they will generally really appreciate this spontaneity and be happy to talk. But it is not advised to go too far though. For example, after a nice chitchat with a French, only suggest to have a coffee together on the next day if you really mean it. Not just to be polite and then ghost the person. - Criticizing : the French love to debate about ideas. They like to bring out contradictory points, sometimes on purpose and even if it is not really their personal opinion,. Just for the sake of enjoying a good conversation with different points of view. Don't get offended. Most of the time, it is not intended to make you angry, just get your opinion and debate. However, the French have very little awareness that this can be considered as rude in many other cultures.

As a french guy i'm genuinely surprised about how accurate all you said was. Nice job ^^

I used to work for a company with a manufacturing plant in Fegersheim. When colleagues from the site visited our plant in the US, they were baffled with the lack of a Bonjour equivalent. They asked me why people were so rude to me. Yes, in those words! They were offended for ME, they couldn’t believe co-workers were so unkind to me! I had to explain that it wasn’t a cultural norm for that part of the US. They were sad for me. When I visited Fegersheim, it felt delightful to hear that lilting “Bonjour” at the beginning of each conversation. One other thing they did that I really liked is that at the end of the workday, they made a point of going to each co-worker’s workstation to say “Bonsoir”. Again, delightful to be recognized.

As a French guy I’m really impressed by your understanding of our culture and how well you’re able to explain it. Great !

As a Danish truckdriver I learned that arriving at a French firm, the first thing I had to do would be circling the employees shaking everyones hands and saying bonjour. If I would do the same arriving at a Danish company, they would think I was very weird.

About the last one : I remember hesitating asking a woman standing before me on a line what the name of her perfume was (The scene is in Paris). I thought it might be a little intrusive, but on the other hand I was totally delighted by the fragrance. So I decided to go ahead. Well, she was very pleased with my question. With a large smile, she told me "It's Poison, by Dior" and added the following, which still makes me laugh because of long years of freudian reads : "My daughter offered it to me" !

I think that you could expand a bit on the lack of "baby shower" in France. We culturally don't have them (although as you've mentioned some people do them), but we have the "Liste de naissance" (the birth list). It's a list of specific gifts the parents share with their families, friends and colleagues. It's always prepared a couple of months before the birth, and now with internet you can have the exact reference and link towards an e-shop. It allows parents to put on it things they 100% need, or just they think would be cute for the baby. It allows people to send the gift before the birth or when the baby is born. It's very frequent that when a baby is born, people will ask if they can have access to the list, just to know if they can grab an item. But it's never an obligation to buy something for the baby, whereas I feel like coming to a baby shower empty handed would be a terrible faux-pas. Also, it might be a personal feeling, but the problem I have with baby showers is that they happen before the birth. The baby isn't there, and there is so many things that can go wrong during birth that I find it weird to give the gifts before the baby is born. It makes more sense to me to give the gifts when we are sure the baby is here. But I have no clue if this is the reason we don't do these showers in France.

As a Québécois visiting France many years ago, it took me a fraction of a second to figure it out. Bonjour is the key to social interactions in France. At every visit to the United States, I am blown away by the rudeness of some social interactions, especially in stores. That being said, I have heard of Americans visiting Quebec with disappointment over their social interactions. Using just a few French words, shows respect and opens hearts wherever you are :)

Nailed it. I am French but spent 22 years of my life in Sarasota FL. The hugging at first was uncomfortable for me, but you get used to it quickly. Now back in France (I should have never left) I do speak freely about money, but nobody responds in kind with their own figures. One negative aspect of the French mentality is delation... Many people will turn you in for doing something wrong. The "mind your own business" mentality unfortunately is not often present here. Also right after coming back I was shocked by the coldness, even apparent hostility of shop attendants or waiters/waitresses, which after a few year being back is again normal to me. Don't take it personally. That said those interactions in the U.S. are very obviously superficial, and that is shocking to a French person. So while in France, do not force yourself to be friendly if you don't feel it, because people can tell the difference. People do not treat strangers like their best friends here. Trust and respect is earned in France. Although it might seem cold and a long process, a friendship gained will generally be a lifelong one.. One last advice, if you do not want to look like an American, avoid sneakers and ball caps, and do not talk loudly in public.

So true. As a french I went to work in a french cafe back in LA, and the absence of saying bonjour before ordering would tense me everytime. The "hm hm" in french situations would translate in a sort of a "passive agressive sound". You might hear it when ppl have an argument thus it is very weird too

Thank you for this interesting video. As a French person (I’m from Paris), the number 8 surprises me. The experience you had at the gym doesn’t seem to be the usual attitude. I sometimes ask people in the street, métro, etc where someone bought what they’re wearing and they are systematically nice and flattered.

In cities in South of France I've noticed customers also greet and say goodbye to bus drivers while getting off. So polite !!

I come from Algeria and money is a very taboo subject here as well. We've probably inherited that from France. The reason for that being is that we just don't wanna see pity nor envy in other people's eyes. We just want to be treated as normal human beings not rich or poor human beings and that's just not possible if money comes into play.

I am French and 56 often engage in conversation, compliment people or ask them where they bought something while queueing..It depends on where you live and how sociable you are. There are some exceptions Still your work is interesting and precious.

I was waiting in a very long line at the Marseille trainstation a few years ago to buy a ticket. An employee came in to start a shift in one of the booths but before actually getting to work he went to all employees one after one to kiss and chat. So frustrating as I was worried about missing my train😂

The birthday cake could be true in all European countries - let me know if that's correct. I live in Poland and honestly, the only people who don't get to buy their own birthday cakes are children. When you're an adult and want people to celebrate with you, you get the cake yourself to be able to treat them when they come with wishes and presents.

I'm in Nice at the moment. One thing I noticed here is how, mostly in the morning, everyone is dead quiet! Even when speaking to one another or on a phone call while on tram or tram stop, they are whispering. Even as I entered the gym. People are so aware and respectful not to be a nuisance to others, it's incredible. In Spain for example, it's the complete opposite!

Bon Jour! Thanks so much for your complete attention to detail in these matters❤

I can’t stand hearing people say “give me…” or “I need…” when ordering! It is one of my pet peeves for sure.

Thanks for translating the American "Mhmm." Actually, I think it's rude/inappropriate everywhere outside the USA (& likely in the States as well.). I remember feeling disappointed & offended the first time I heard it. It made me feel like the person I was politely thanking couldn't bother to use words in response, & wasn't taught to say "you're welcome." I felt like they were dismissing my gratitude & I regretted thanking them for holding the door. I left the interaction with a bad impression of "mhmm" mumbler & the distinct feeling that they were rude DESPITE holding open a door for a stranger. Cultural expectations are powerful!

Thank you. I enjoyed your video. I have absolutely no chance of ever going to France but I still found it interesting simply because I enjoy the differences between cultures and was interested to hear about those in France. I think videos like this provide a great service for those who can travel. I mean, no one WANTS to be a jerk while traveling.

In Canada if you tell someone you like their shirt, that person will say thank you I only paid $19 for it. LOL 😂

I love learning about these cultural differences. As an American I really appreciate these tips. Thank you for sharing your experiences!

Hello there! This was an interesting video to watch from the other side. I'm French and I just thought I'd add what came to my mind, in case it's helpful/interesting :) They're just my opinion, obviously. - money talk: I think you nailed it with "if it's a complaint, it's ok". In that sense, students will often share the location and cost of their flat, because they're so expensive in student towns. I also think young people are more open about it... Maybe because so many of us are struggling lol - birthday cake: I guess it depends on the place you work at, but you probably don't need to feel like you HAVE to bring your own cake. I think that in a lot of places it's the norm to just... not bring anything! And if you do, it's bonus for everyone. Also, idk if it's an international thing or not, but a lot of people seem to dislike celebrating their birthday at work/school past childhood. - bonjour: spot on. Never miss it. Say it loud enough (saying that one for me...), and say it even if you can't see a vendor when entering! They might be hidden from view and will appreciate it. You can and should say bonjour to cleaning staff as well. You can get away with not saying it to security, unless they're checking something like your invite, ID, bag... I think there's just the general sense that social hierarchy doesn't excuse disrespect in France. Like, you can't just be rude to waiters/waitresses, or vendors, or anyone--you're expected to treat them kindly. I'm not saying that it's better or worse than American customs (although I do prefer our kinda polite customers to the American horror retail stories I hear lol), or that there's no elitism and general buffoonery here (GOD there is), but that it's the vibe ^^ Very polite customers might stack plates and/or glasses. I often do it (like a lot of people who've worked in customer service), but it does raise eyebrows depending on who I'm with. I wouldn't do it in a high-end restaurant, though, because I'd assume that the staff takes pride in providing a luxury, work-less experience for customers/that I'd mess it up. Oh, and say au revoir when leaving a store. - la bise: aaah, yeah... I don't like it either, lol. In casual friend/work gathering, you can definitely get away with a general hello (especially in a large group. we're all too lazy for endless rounds of bises!!), especially now that covid's got to us hahahaha! In family gatherings, though, I wouldn't ever skip it. - baby showers: definitely becoming a trend for some young couples lol, as well as gender reveal parties! It's still rare. - complimenting strangers/asking "where did you get it?": it's definitely not common, and in my opinion comes off as you being easy-going and chatty. It's not a bad thing at all, but might catch people off-guard indeed! If you want to ask someone where they got something, you still can (I've had other French people ask about my clothes a few times!), just preface it/make it more polite in a way, like "Can I ask where you got it?" or "I'm sorry, can I ask..?" "My daughter would love this, can I ask...?" Damn, I ended up writing a lot. It makes me feel weird... I never think about it that hard! I don't know if it helps, but I hope it does!

always nice to hear foreigner's input on our own culture, you guys are so accurate and see things that are invisible to us, great video

All great points and I have experienced several of them. I think the Bonjour point was very apparent almost everywhere I went in France. Better prepared now for next time I visit if this Covid stuff ever ends. Thanks, Diane and Happy New Year!

I loved this. It explains some of the reactions my friend and I got when visiting France 10 years ago.

SUCH good advice and SO well explained and put in context...

The birthday custom in France sounds much more practical. I’ve worked in places where it seemed like it was somebody’s birthday at least twice a week, and we pitched in for lunch as well as a cake. It became very expensive! Once a year would be a relief.

From UK / Ireland and lived in both places. The majority of the things you mentioned it's the French way 😁 except... In parts of Ireland / Northern England you can get away with just beginning a conversation, randomly, to a total stranger at a bus stop without a hello - more rural. Other parts of the UK, particularly but not always towns and cities, people would rather die than acknowledge the presence/humanity of a stranger. Edit: never lived in Scotland or Wales but I got the feeling it was generally way more open to the casual striking up of conversation too

Bonjour! Just a heads up that this is my last video of 2021, bringing the count to 71 total videos and shorts this year. WOW! I'll be taking a break in January to regroup and recharge and plan on taking a more relaxed pace in 2022, so if it's quiet around here, it's because I'm on vacay. Just didn't want anyone to worry. ;-) I appreciate your support so much and will see you soon!

Excellent ! Vous avez très bien analysé comment se passent les choses en France ! Nous apprécions toujours les gens qui font des efforts pour comprendre comment fonctionnent les choses ici. Merci et bienvenue !!

thank you for the video, glad to see our habits from an other perpective. about the "hello" if a boss don't say it to someone in particular at work, he can be sued!! that's how important it is.

I live in France. One thing I would like to say is - but I'm sure it would be the same elsewhere - there's an enormous difference between living in a small village and in a large town or city. For example, in the village where we go on holiday in the South of France you must say hello to your neighbours when you meet them for the first time that you see them during the day, especially if they are friends. If they are people you don't know so well, the greeting would be limited to a brief bonjour and a nod of the head. If they are people you don't get on with, you ignore them. If you see your friends later on in the day you lift a forefinger to show that you've seen them. Saying simply 'Salut' can be OK between friends that you know very well and are of the same age as you, but it could be resented by others. In the supermarket when you have finshed putting your purchases in your bags and you have paid and you found that the shop assistant is 'sympa', you would say 'Merci beaucoup, bonne continuation or bon courage.'

Maybe I was french in a past life because I never talk about money and always get uncomfortable when people discuss their earnings and spendings with me.

A social media video about cultural differences? Refreshing and original!

That soo funny you mention number eight, I live in France now and a some who worked at the supermarket approached me and asked where I bought my shoes and it really freaked me out, I didn’t realized I had absorbed this social norms so much till it happened.

Loved your video. I'd like to share a story related to one of your items here. Years ago, I was part of an American bicycle tour of Provence, 25 of us. Our first stop was Arles, and we all left for dinner at about 7:30, went to a small restaurant, and asked for a table for 25. Ha! They rearranged all of the tables on the second floor, and seated us. Wonderful! Later, we pedaled into St Remy, and assembled for dinner at about 6 PM. They were very nice, and said we could sit and have drinks, but that dinner wouldn't start until 7:30. So, we had delicious cocktails for quite a while. Wonderful! Then, we were in Fountaine de Vauclause, and went to a beautiful restaurant, and our waiter was the 11 year old son of the owner. Charming!

I recall being told not to say “bon jour” or “salut” multiple times a day to the same person, the way I would say “hey” or “hi” or “hello” to an American each of the fourteen times I saw them during the course of a day. The message was: you greeted me once today, ça suffit.

I've been living in France for 8 years and I must tell you I think your video is excellent! Well done!

This video was randomly recommended to me, and I enjoyed watching it ! After like 15 years browsing "international" internet content, I never got why there's not a single "hi" or "hello" starting a new forum thread. You made me realize today it's just that us french are overly polite as a social norm. Like I legitimately feel bad and ashamed not writing that damn "hi" ! Very interesting how different countries differ that much from one another

Loved this. Wishing you an early Happy Birthday. You have been such a delight over the last 1.5 years and sincerely wish you all the best in 2022. Again, this is a BRILLIANT video.

Another trait that I think doesn’t fly well in France (or for that matter in Quebec where I am originally from) is for someone who holds a doctor title to flaunt It (as on the phone “this is Dr. So and so”) or to correct the person who calls them “sir” or “madam” (“that’s doctor”).

As a French person myself, working daily with Northern Americans among which many Americans, your video is super useful. I't so thankful for the reverse lesson it's teaching me: now, I understand why I feel such a cultural shock with several of my coworkers. Great video! I would invite my fellow compatriots to watch it too!!

#8 follows #1 under the category of not showing or flaunting your money. Ok. I'm definitely totally subscribed now. You helped me understand why I am the way I am so I'm not going to change it for anything now or ever. Merci beaucoup again.

I like it how you take a neutral observing position. I am from Europe but live in Asia. It's important for your own happiness when living in another country not to judge on cultural differences, but just observe them.

I lived in France for 6 years, you have to do the Bonjour routine, I found it lovely and we actually got into conversations from time to time with people. However I will say in the part of France that I lived in was very rural and dinner at the local relais was from 7-8pm you didn't show up any later. Also getting your head around lunch serving times - that took some getting used to.

About the last part, pretty true but as long as you have a smile along with a bonjour, conversation might just stop or not! It's really up to you and the person your facing, about the context and reading the one your engaging a conversation with. And I believe it to be about people them self, their current mood, and not just only about being French in general. But I guess you are crystal clear about it. I don't know about USA, UK to only name a few, but in my experience there is also a difference between a French from city and countryside, "with pros and cons"... Anyway thanks for your sharing and content, un français qui passe par là.

Thank you so much for this video.

The custom of bringing your own cake to work on your birthday makes sense to me. It reminds me of the custom in many rural and small town black churches of making a donation - as large as you can afford - to your church's general fund as a birthday offering. It signifies your gratitude to god for having lived another year.

I’ve been making a point of saying hello when I walk into a store here in the US because of your suggestion. Americans are funny, some look bewildered if you say hello before ordering something. But I’m keeping up with the habit so I will be ready for France!

Bravo, everything you say is so true. I went to a host family in the US 15 years ago, and I still remember vividly they didn't say hello or goodbye or thank you to the cashier at the supermarket, I was so shocked! It might has well have been a robot. Zero interaction.

Speaking when entering a store or restaurant is also considered polite in Mexico and will go a long way in how well you are treated. It's a sign of respect and courtesy. Mexico takes it a bit further with people saying "Buenos dias/tardes" if you make eye contact in passing on the streets. I love travel and I find all these differences and similarities very interesting.

Loved the video! When my mom was visiting, she loved going to the hypermarché and would always chat up the people in line , starting with a complement about shoes, dress, bag. Only once did she get a glare. One lady even responded in English to her before I could explain in French what she was saying. Did not know about the birthday cake or lack of baby showers. The woman across the street from us was very pregnant when we moved in. After she came home with a new baby, I noticed gifts on her doorstep. Now Covid had just started, so I wasn’t sure if this was the norm. I baked her some small yogurt cakes and she brought me a sweet note of thanks and flowers from her garden.

Concerning the first point about money, when you live in Paris, it's pretty common for French people to ask how much rent you pay. I agree that it's usually taboo to ask about salaries and how much you paid for this or that, but Paris rents seem to be the exception.

BONJOUR À VOUS! Très intéressantes observations culturelles. Au Québec aussi toutes interactions commencent par un bonjour. de Montréal

thanks for the tips

You need to do the “Bonjour” thing in phone conversations too.

Regarding the hugging: this is actually a quite recent social phenomenon even in the U.S. Even as recently as the 1990s I don't recall this happening much, and certainly not in my childhood in the 1960s and 70s (except by hippies!). It's fairly common now even to see young men greet each other with hugs, whereas formerly this type of physical closeness between men would have been considered . . . suspicious. You only see it among people who know each other, not really with casual acquaintances, and certainly not upon meeting. I rather like the hug-greeting, as long as it's brief. But my mother was a big hugger, so that's probably why.

We also often say "avec plaisir" to say you're welcome. It's means "with pleasure".

I think I agree with everything except maybe the last one about casual conversation. It depends of people really. It's not something we do z lot but it still happens randomly!

The birthday boy/girl buys the cake in UK too. A few years ago I worked for a while in a DoDS American High School in UK. The faculty were scandalised when I turned up with cake on my birthday. 'No, no, no,' they chorused, we do the treating, and all day long I was amazed to have the loveliest of sweet treats placed on my desk. When you think about it, this is the better way. Surely the birthday boy/girl should be treated and not vice versa! 😊. Anyhow Diane many thanks for your really informative and fun videos throughout 2021 which I know wasn't always the best year for you in some respects. So here's hoping that 2022 will be much kinder, and looking forward to all your videos in the new year!

I have the feeling that it’s Continental European social norms you’re describing 🙂. All the points you mentioned are also valid here in Switzerland (French & German) and probably many other countries.

I am French and I confirm all what you explained on this video. Very cool to hear someone who really understand really well our culture and with no mistakes !

C'est une bonne traduction. On peut toujours chipoter pour des détails mais l'essentiel est là. 👍

Really cool video ! I'm from Geneva, in the french speaking part of Switzerland. We have almost the same culture as french do, at some exceptions. But for sure, openly speaking about your earnings (and especially bonuses) unless asked to, is often perceived as bragging. About greetings, it's a must do. Always try to speak the locals language, at least a few words. "bonjour" "merci" "aurevoir" is a minimum. You'll be integrated waaaay quicker. And if you are here only for holidays, ask "Parlez-vous anglais ?" (do you speak english) before asking for direction or anything else; some people tend to consider persons directly speaking their mother tongue without asking if the other one understands it, as acting a bit like conquerors. If you shake hand, do it firmly : having the feeling to squeeze a dead fish is worse than not shaking hand at all (for me and most of my friends at least). If you want to engage in small talk with a stranger, try to start with something like "Excusez-moi de vous déranger"(excuse me for bothering you), it'll be perceived as less awkward. And one thing, dear americans. On the public transports, in shops, cafés or in the streets, DON'T SPEAK THAT LOUD ! That's REALLY perceived as rude. EDIT : and about the baby shower... there's not enough facepalm GIFs on the Internet to express what most of the Europeans think about it 😅

I would struggle sooo much with the casual socialization aspect. I'm extremely extroverted; I'm just really fascinated by and enjoy people. For the French, I would be like the proverbial bull in a fine china shop. Thanks for the insights Diane 🙏🏻

Faire la bise thanks for reminding me of this en Francais. Merci beaucoup.

Diane! My birthday is New Years Day! How funny! But yes, I always supplied my own cake as I got older in general anyway xD

When I visited the US, I found the consistent "You're welcome" in response to thank-yous quite jarring. It came across like they were making a lot bigger deal of it than the situation deserved. In Australia, if it is something minor, like holding a door open, there would usually be no response the "Thanks" you are likely to get. If it is something more significant, if, say, you went a fair bit out of your way to assist someone else, then "No worries", in a dismissive tone, is the most likely response.

The overall level of social politeness gets me whenever I visit my grandparents in the Czech Republic. It's totally the same way here. Doesn't matter if you're walking into a store, buying a train ticket, or getting into said train and sitting down next to other people. Each of those interactions - even if it's no more than sharing public a space with another person - begins with a greeting and concludes with a goodbye. What's also worth noting is, it's strictly a formal "hello/goodbye". Using "how are you/how's it going/etc" as a simple greeting without soliciting a genuine personal answer and dialogue from the other party would be *very* awkward. Is that the same way in France?

I'm French and well your point of vue is really clever. Your are very experienced well done !

Bonjour, I enjoyed this video and think that I need to be more mindful the next time I travel to France.

I live in New York City and my sense is that, while holding doors for people is the usual thing, we don't really expect recognition for it; maybe just a small smile or nod. We encounter hundreds of people a day, after all. I myself dislike routine pleasantries. But that's me. Introvert in a city of 8 million.

Hey ! I'm French and wanted to say how great I think this video is, I learned more about the American culture while realizing things that I do unconsciously do as a French person, and I thought it was really interesting. I would like to clarify a point however about the bise : younger generations (up to around 25 years old) do not use the bise as much as other generations and tend to either do an elbow bump (a habit that has its origins in covid) or grab one hand and approach as if to mimic a one-sided bise, but without the actual bise. Close friends can also give a hug, or just casually say hello or hi without any particular gesture :)

Really interesting video!

Hi! thanks for your video! I am french but I am allays curious about culture differences. I was inspired to complete your 8th advice. I think it would be much less weird in France to start conversation with a stranger by complaining about something. I can sound weird but actually I think it is because it is well seen to listen to people problems so it is socially accepted to start a conversation on that base. In fact, this is particularly true when the problem is not the fault of the person complaining, a random event like rain, cancelled train, and that it is shared among people talking. I remember that sometimes I liked when such "bad but not too much" event occurred because then I get to chat with people we usually don't. That maybe explain why we love to complain so much :)