Putin's Draft Is Going As Badly As His War | NASA Knows How To Celebrate!

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

День тому

Russians are fleeing the country in huge numbers after Vladimir Putin announced he would send fighting-age men to the front lines in Ukraine. Here at The Late Show, Stephen found out that the happy nerds at NASA celebrate a win in much the same way that our writers celebrate a successful joke. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

КОМЕНТАРІ: 3 300
@patrickmalone4443
@patrickmalone4443 Рік тому
Former army combat medic here.. ALL our aid bags were packed w tampons for the EXACT SAME reason
@darrengeorge8990
@darrengeorge8990 Рік тому
I'm pretty sure that's what they ere originally invented for.
@marshallptrs
@marshallptrs Рік тому
Navy Corpsman co-signs this comment.
@baume184
@baume184 Рік тому
Creative problem solving 👍
@crovax1375
@crovax1375 Рік тому
I think that the point is that the Russian soldiers are being told to bring their own for field dressing
@richard1472
@richard1472 Рік тому
And don't forget the super glue.
@layhdejjj9707
@layhdejjj9707 Рік тому
Russian draftees: I don't need ammunition, I need a ride
@8arrows
@8arrows Рік тому
Good one
@cindypomerleau950
@cindypomerleau950 Рік тому
Great one !!!
@batalorian7997
@batalorian7997 Рік тому
I think they need tampons
@groove-heroine
@groove-heroine Рік тому
Full circle.
@johnsmithe4656
@johnsmithe4656 Рік тому
@@batalorian7997 Imagine how upset all the women will be when they realize there aren't any more tampons in the whole country.
@TechReviewbyIrdi
@TechReviewbyIrdi Рік тому
I live by where Fetterman and Braddock. He was a pillar in the community. Still resonates everywhere. He is a no nonsense guy that just wants better. He also worked really hard in the community. I would rather have someone that has been around the block, fixed the block, and made that block better than a hack Dr. that's not grounded by reality. How the hell can Dr. Oz even help Pa. if he never did anything here?
@patrickirishcharm6354
@patrickirishcharm6354 Рік тому
Fetterman ✔️
@zachnasr9911
@zachnasr9911 Рік тому
Dr. Oz also lives in New Jersey! He's just coasting on his sparse fame and Trump's coattails. His whole campaign is a joke with no punchline 😆
@ChristophBrinkmann
@ChristophBrinkmann Рік тому
But but but but but Oz is Christian Republican!!! That's important, somehow! And you know why? REASONS!!!!!
@naturaliscontentus5914
@naturaliscontentus5914 Рік тому
@@zachnasr9911 Sorry, if you actually listen to Dr. OZ he makes a lot more sense and seems a lot less corrupt. Do your research. Fetterman is going to get trounced in debate. "Dr. Oz: Fetterman is dodging debates to hide his radical record"
@Dontleavemedimi
@Dontleavemedimi Рік тому
Betterment for president
@kwharrison6668
@kwharrison6668 Рік тому
My mom’s a RN and First Aid instructor. The person who certified her as an instructor was a former medic for the Canadian Army who is now a hunter. He told her he puts a box of tampons in his hunting first aid kit, because while odd, they’d be very effective (as a makeshift tool) for bullet wounds. They’re easy to use and expand as they absorb blood, closing the hole and slowing/stopping immediate blood loss.
@juliaburns303
@juliaburns303 Рік тому
The product that became the tampons was first made for bleeding wounded soldiers during wartime. Someone came up with the idea that it would work for women during their periods.
@kellharris2491
@kellharris2491 Рік тому
Which is ironic considering how many men get squeamish buying tampons and pads. I mean they are just basically cloth and adhesive.
@missunderstanding357
@missunderstanding357 Рік тому
I would just recommend the unscented ones. The perfume could cause infection.
@bigbcor
@bigbcor Рік тому
Why would you post such disproven and mythical advice on here? Oh wait its UKposts…you do realize that tampons have been proven time and time again to not be a good go to for GSW due to cavitation by bullets. When we were deployed we were strictly forbidden to even consider using such a dumb idea. ESP since quick clot has been around for decades now. The newer version of quick clot doesn’t even require much surgery to remove it when the person reaches the OR. At the end of the day though applied pressure wins out over almost all other options…
@johnmunro4952
@johnmunro4952 Рік тому
I think super glue was developed during Vietnam for sealing wounds.
@elphieofkiamoko
@elphieofkiamoko Рік тому
I know someone who fled Russia to Georgia in February, when the invasion began. It was an act of protest against the war starting, but now I feel like he dodged a bullet.....literally.
@firequeen2194
@firequeen2194 Рік тому
Best wishes to your friend
@MyroslavaRm
@MyroslavaRm Рік тому
guess what, an act of protest against the war is...protest. not leaving the country and ignoring what's happening
@libbyworkman3459
@libbyworkman3459 Рік тому
@@MyroslavaRm Vladimir Putin is a dictator with Secret Service agents killing dissenters against his regime. To protest publicly is to put a target on your back in a country like that.
@TentinQuarantino_
@TentinQuarantino_ Рік тому
@@MyroslavaRm does it make you feel like a big man to troll everyone in the UKposts comments section?
@kuronekochan3
@kuronekochan3 Рік тому
@@TentinQuarantino_ I'm from Georgia and nobody wants russians coming here. They had 20+ years to do something about putin, as he devastated Chechnya, Ukraine and Georgia in wars, but they lived comfortably under his rule, until sanctions hit. They're not refugees, they just want to live a comfy life, while the guy they voted in kills innocent people.
@MonkeyJedi99
@MonkeyJedi99 Рік тому
During this hurricane, please shelter somewhere safe. Barring that, PLEASE, PLEASE shelter at Mar-a-Lago. I hear they have an omelet bar near the top-secret document storage desk.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 Рік тому
OH YES! I didn't even think of that!
@kiriakiria9685
@kiriakiria9685 Рік тому
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
@itsalgud1459
@itsalgud1459 Рік тому
Stephen really nailed it tonight. He got everybody dead on and it was hilarious doing it. My hat is off to him.
@2332Stephen
@2332Stephen Рік тому
For roughly 10 minutes every day this guy takes away my anxiety and depression
@norwaydude4798
@norwaydude4798 Рік тому
You need serious help then
@2332Stephen
@2332Stephen Рік тому
@@norwaydude4798 yeah probably, not alone
@leoniemoats7467
@leoniemoats7467 Рік тому
Same. Its the only way to stay informed without going absolutely crazy
@Tyanus2
@Tyanus2 Рік тому
@@leoniemoats7467 You get info from comedians who use cheap lines for laughs 😃
@wmduav
@wmduav Рік тому
@@leoniemoats7467 he isn’t informing you on shit, he’s told what to say. We are so gullible. Study the history behind this conflicts
@evillyn7895
@evillyn7895 Рік тому
" Put your hand on Potato " I had to pause the video and LMAO.
@threetreasures7698
@threetreasures7698 Рік тому
Me too! 😂
@Beginstheman
@Beginstheman Рік тому
Of course! It's because whatever they swear on in Russia... is 🥔.😂😂
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 Рік тому
I knew tbers was a potato joke in there somewhere. Thanks for writing about it.
@peterg5383
@peterg5383 Рік тому
because russia/potato jokes are super original and hilarious. what next - maybe a joke about irish being drunks, or old people being confused by technology? pathetic.
@zesty9815
@zesty9815 Рік тому
5:16 _"Put right hand on potato and repeat after me..."_ OK, or left hand.
@kathleenvaughan3709
@kathleenvaughan3709 Рік тому
I cannot imagine the horror those Ukrainian people are going through.
@Kal-EL_Volta
@Kal-EL_Volta Рік тому
Not as bad as the russian people.
@cindypomerleau950
@cindypomerleau950 Рік тому
Slava Ukraine 🇺🇦💙💛💜
@Shervin86
@Shervin86 Рік тому
Nor the Iranian people which seems to get minimal coverage if any... #Mahsaamini
@peachesandpoets
@peachesandpoets Рік тому
@@Kal-EL_Volta um probably more? The Ukrainians are victims...
@chriscruse8131
@chriscruse8131 Рік тому
Who cares when we have places like Flint, Mi that's been needing water a lot longer than Ukraine has been at war. Russia could blow Ukraine off the map for all I care.
@felinecontrolled
@felinecontrolled Рік тому
Love how Oz was booed more than the guy threaten nuclear war.
@bzat2024
@bzat2024 Рік тому
Colbert’s writers and his delivery impeccable ….as usual…😂😂 any time i’m feeling down I just watch this show …❤never fails to make me laugh
@timothy4557
@timothy4557 Рік тому
Did they find Jackie ?
@lilwil-ns3uo
@lilwil-ns3uo Рік тому
I love how Federman ALWAYS has an excellent comeback to BURN 🔥 Oz. Brilliant. Be safe in Florida everyone.
@danmcgriff1421
@danmcgriff1421 Рік тому
Tell me something Nancy if you were a republican would you vote for fetterman and his policies
@alexd9550
@alexd9550 Рік тому
@@danmcgriff1421 Tell me something Dan, if you weren't conservative, would you support the current dumpster fire that is the current GOP?
@ginmar8134
@ginmar8134 Рік тому
@@danmcgriff1421 Suuuuure, Trumpie.
@nehukybis
@nehukybis Рік тому
I used to be an EMT in the US. We totally carried tampons. They're like the duct tape of emergency medicine. (Also, duct tape).
@cindypomerleau950
@cindypomerleau950 Рік тому
Lol. Great analogy.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 Рік тому
Or potato.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
@@shirleyrombough8173 🤣 Maybe Tide Pods are plentiful from all their washing machine thefts - they could stuff their GSWs with those.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are a not sound interventions for GSWs: ukposts.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@sydnidowney3598
@sydnidowney3598 Рік тому
IT WAS WONDERFUL SEEING ALL THE WOMEN WORKING AT NASA.....YOU GO LADIES!
@AkumakoCross
@AkumakoCross Рік тому
In regards to the tampons for bullet wounds, that’s actually what they were originally for. They started being used as sanitary products when the war nurses in WWI or II (I forget which) had to deal with their periods with limited resources, and they went “hey, you know what’s kinda similar in shape to a bullet wound?” and that’s roughly how tampons became the bane of men.
@mariag.8242
@mariag.8242 Рік тому
Not so much shape as staunching a lot of blood.
@masterroshen841
@masterroshen841 Рік тому
True about the tampons and as an infantry vet I can tell you that our medic did keep some on hand for if we got shot.
@eriksigalraven8340
@eriksigalraven8340 10 місяців тому
How about using convicted pedophiles and cannibals as draftees? And giving them amnesty? Thats what russian government does - thats what westerners not mention
@toadjiang7626
@toadjiang7626 Рік тому
"War is rich old men trying to get richer by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die."
@neonfroot
@neonfroot Рік тому
That's why I have no respect for older men whom are upper class, married, conservative and religious. They're the biggest hedonists, fucking and patronizing young people and ethnic minorities.
@atlasfeynman1039
@atlasfeynman1039 Рік тому
Actually, commie, the saying is: "War is old men talking and young men dying."
@neonfroot
@neonfroot Рік тому
@@atlasfeynman1039 Gist is more or less that same. Also, criticism of upper class is also a liberal thing. And I mean liberal as in the default classical definition of the word, not the Cold War propaganda meaning.
@demoskunk
@demoskunk Рік тому
And the president who didn't start any new wars, but started withdrawing our troops from other countries was? Gasp....Trump!
@neonfroot
@neonfroot Рік тому
@@demoskunk Trump didn't withdraw troops. Biden withdrew troops. Granted Trump didn't start new wars, but he did bomb Syria.
@Tonyhouse1168
@Tonyhouse1168 Рік тому
Hunkering down on a little island in Florida now. Gonna be an interesting few days. But hey, if things go terribly wrong, maybe that last *president* aka Chester Cheater, will come throw some paper towels at us
@maiben210
@maiben210 Рік тому
wishing you and yours saftey light and love💛
@sshaw4429
@sshaw4429 Рік тому
Chester cheater…..lolololo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@geekdivaherself
@geekdivaherself Рік тому
I wish you and yours well!
@connorgunning6228
@connorgunning6228 Рік тому
I audibly snorted air out of my nose laughing at that.. im so sorry and I will be thinking about everyone down there to be ok and come out of it safely.
@anthonytrevino3191
@anthonytrevino3191 Рік тому
Cheeseburger paradise
@nodegreen7012
@nodegreen7012 Рік тому
Stephen you are killing me i'm 87 year old every time you let me lol so hard God be with and bless you always
@JM-pq1rs
@JM-pq1rs Рік тому
The walking encyclopedia for Lord of the Rings said "look at those happy nerds" hahahaha love it
@Raixor
@Raixor Рік тому
*The NASA guys shoulda all sang "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!", together.*
@666t
@666t Рік тому
Flash Ah Ah saviour of the Universe
@JachAnen
@JachAnen Рік тому
Or Space Jam
@Raixor
@Raixor Рік тому
@@JachAnen *The Space Jam Theme Song by Quad City DJ's? Nah, that's nowhere near as recognizable as "We Will Rock You" by Queen. Or as chant-able. haha*
@citypavement
@citypavement Рік тому
@@Raixor You can just say the Space Jam theme song. No one is impressed.
@GreenWitch420
@GreenWitch420 Рік тому
Stomp stomp clap!
@seraphonica
@seraphonica Рік тому
So... an election between a local guy who wears hoodies, and an out of towner guy who bitches about the prices of crudite? Hmm... I wonder who's going to get the Flyers fans' votes?
@lisalima7430
@lisalima7430 Рік тому
Busted out laughing at "Put rite hand on potatoe & repeat after me" thank you Stephen!
@ProctorsGamble
@ProctorsGamble Рік тому
😮 You made a Dan Quayle potato mistake!
@catladycabaret
@catladycabaret Рік тому
GO FETTERMAN! I remember when he was doing boots-on-the-ground work in the Pgh suburbs. It is so awesome to see him pursue higher offices in the same spirit.
@susiesweet8003
@susiesweet8003 Рік тому
I grew up in a mill town next to Fetterman's home mill town. He's a great guy & will see recreational cannabis legalized in PA. 🥰 He'll be taking ratpubliklan Toomy's seat. 🥳 Oz doesn't stand a chance. 😂
@lordcaptain73
@lordcaptain73 Рік тому
The fact that we got live (minus time delays for signal distance) shots of the impact impressed the heck out of me.
@Shuizid
@Shuizid Рік тому
I mean, the camery couldn't exactly send the film later ^^°
@baebealien
@baebealien Рік тому
I always wonder how they film things... kinda sus🤨
@sailinbob11
@sailinbob11 Рік тому
I'm watching this on my sailboat in Tampa Bay day after the storm. I'm happy I'll be around to see the hearings. Capt.Bob, SV ( Sailing Vessel) 27th Chance, Tampa Fl, USA 🇺🇸
@michelemaliano7860
@michelemaliano7860 Рік тому
Am I the only waiting Jon’s piano tinkle when Stephen hands the imaginary object to someone off camera?
@oleggold
@oleggold Рік тому
I was born in Ukraine. Part Ukrainian part Russian. Thanks Stephen for talking about this. At least something can sound funny about this situation. Luckily I don't live there for 30 years already, but still feel the pain of the Ukrainians and feel some weird sort of responsibility for the actions of the Russians.
@nurlindafsihotang49
@nurlindafsihotang49 Рік тому
Well, you got 2 best gene of 1000 years of sacrifice in you. I believe ukraine will won and russian are not one to bullied by a grup of beligerent old men. I hope russian make example out of putin, tsar family style. Only Russian could take down a russian.
@samuela-aegisdottir
@samuela-aegisdottir Рік тому
Peace for Ukraine, Freedom for Russia.
@cyberneticbutterfly8506
@cyberneticbutterfly8506 Рік тому
I feel the same weird sense of responsibility and I'm not even Russian. I guess it's due to the fact that I sort of know I could have been politically active (and uncorrupt) and involved the last 20 years but didn't bother to so I feel like I have a small little part in the world being the way it is today.
@oleggold
@oleggold Рік тому
@@cyberneticbutterfly8506 You took it even further haha. I am very active politically I think, but there's nothing anyone could have actually done to stop this, except the people Russia.
@elizabethm888
@elizabethm888 Рік тому
Just so you know my kids and I pray Ukraine every night, ( Now we also pray that as many Russians who do not want to take part in the war can get out with their families safely.
@olorin4317
@olorin4317 Рік тому
First time humanity attempted to move another celestial body. Those nerds just ushered in a new age for our species. Thank you nerds.
@joshrabatin
@joshrabatin Рік тому
Difficult to even joke and or laugh at this point...THANK GOD FOR COLBERT!!! WOOOOO!!!!......WOOOOOO!!!!!
@tomnalley3644
@tomnalley3644 Рік тому
Colbert is a Hollywood commiefornia commiecrat.
@SerenityPeaceTree
@SerenityPeaceTree Рік тому
Fantastic! Go Fetterman! Thank you for your service for PA so far
@xeruexe1624
@xeruexe1624 Рік тому
Is that why Marjorie Taylor Greene complains about tampons in the men's bathroom? Did she actually see it the russki malls?
@meatwax
@meatwax Рік тому
Seriously, the bullseye of that asteroid is incredible. Most people are impressed with golf or basketball or archery. Anyone impressed with accuracy, thats untouchable God tier accuracy, and precision
@oomiosi
@oomiosi Рік тому
360 no scope, over the horizon, hair on a pimple shot.
@malteschaper3782
@malteschaper3782 Рік тому
...and other than those trick-shot videos it couldn't take a quadrillion tries to get it.
@AsFewFalseThingsAsPossible
@AsFewFalseThingsAsPossible Рік тому
Physics and Maths, and human ingenuity, what a fantastic achievement.
@robertcampomizzi7988
@robertcampomizzi7988 Рік тому
Love the comparison! My dad was an engineer and he said if people had any idea what their job was they'd be paid like sports figures.(or at least more than they are currently paid)
@justincremeans2244
@justincremeans2244 Рік тому
I am a relatively skilled archer and trying to describe to my fiancée with the comparison of being off by a fraction of an inch just wasn't good enough. I had to say that it would be like a shot from here to some distant moon of Venus where I had to take into account the spinning of earth, gravity of other planets, speed of a moving target and plan my shot accordingly and I'm sure there was more to it I don't understand.
@mustardistasty
@mustardistasty Рік тому
For some reason those clips of NASA engineers cheering when something lands always make me cry…
@LichenAndMoss
@LichenAndMoss Рік тому
Haven’t watched Colbert in a while - he’s killin it.
@angc214
@angc214 Рік тому
Maybe sacrificing a Florida governor to the hurricane gods will appease them and calm the storm. I'm an agnostic but it's worth a shot.
@steveaustin2686
@steveaustin2686 Рік тому
LOL
@kiriakiria9685
@kiriakiria9685 Рік тому
🧐🤔👏🏾👏🏽👏😂
@WaywardVet
@WaywardVet Рік тому
Yeah, that tampon hack... That's a real thing. They didn't mention the important part. Get to a surgeon fast. It slows the bleeding but it's a time bomb for septis, so you traded hemhorragic shock for septic shock. You bought time, that's all. But the clock is ticking.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@WaywardVet
@WaywardVet Рік тому
@@ElCapAddict It is dumb. Like I said, it's a hack that buys time. We're talking last resort.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
@@WaywardVet Sorry, not specifically directed at you then. I’ve been spamming my response to every half-wit post thinking this is legitimate, current, or even best medical practice (in the field or not).
@NuiYabuko
@NuiYabuko Рік тому
@@ElCapAddict Spamming is the right word here.
@colleenclement474
@colleenclement474 Рік тому
Throw some lemon juice on it so it doesn't go brown. 😋
@wassupkop
@wassupkop Рік тому
The “sharpened tampon” got me 😂
@mtnlady4762
@mtnlady4762 Рік тому
Super excited for the NASA nerds! My ex father in law was a NASA nerd, and designed a part for one of the Apollo missions.
@DragonFae16
@DragonFae16 Рік тому
Seeing the NASA folks celebrate, I was like 'Yay! We hit a thing with another thing!'
@Ginric99
@Ginric99 Рік тому
Shouldn’t that have been a space force job :)
@caru3257
@caru3257 Рік тому
@@Ginric99 you are funny.
@Ginric99
@Ginric99 Рік тому
@@caru3257 well what else is it set up for if not to protect the world from Meteorites :)
@masternoob9673
@masternoob9673 Рік тому
“And won’t know if we actually did something until we look outside one morning and see a mushroom cloud on the horizon.”
@craigmacdougal9111
@craigmacdougal9111 Рік тому
If a 10 year old kid smashes something into another thing to see what happens... it's a kid being a kid. If the same 10 year old kid WRITES DOWN what happened.. It's SCIENCE.
@0HARE
@0HARE Рік тому
Comedy creativity and social commentary at it’s finest! Stephen, you rock!
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 Рік тому
he does rock. it's comedy at its finest.
@jamiecanney6973
@jamiecanney6973 Рік тому
loved em on the Colbert report on the daily show he was brill
@weirdthingstoeat7198
@weirdthingstoeat7198 Рік тому
The TAMPON joke got me in Stitches!!!! LOL!!!
@rosesmith6925
@rosesmith6925 Рік тому
Dang, as a Floridian I was planning on watching the 1/6 committee's show to get my mind off the storm 🍷🍻 After 50 years of learning how and what to do during these things a little entertainment would have been nice. Currently into a Stephen King book 1,078 pgs. Last storm I read IT. The door stoppers (literally 😂) always help!
@wiggywig1105
@wiggywig1105 Рік тому
Army vet here, the tampon bit is something we teach US soldiers too. All our medics carried them, and we were encouraged to have some on hand as a "self rescue" measure. I know it sounds funny, but it's not. It can stop you or your Battle Buddy from bleeding out. I kinda hope you'll retract this bit. Otherwise, love the show Steven!
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@wiggywig1105
@wiggywig1105 Рік тому
@@ElCapAddict pretty obvious you've never been on a battle field. Thanks for the "educated" advice. If I get shot with an EMT handy and they use a tampon, I'll be pissed I guess.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
@@wiggywig1105 Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: ukposts.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@michaelgreenwood3413
@michaelgreenwood3413 Рік тому
@@wiggywig1105 think that other guy doesn't realize that when you're on a battlefield, you make do with what you have. sure, there's BETTER stuff, but it's usually harder to come by. And it'll work until you can get your ass medevaced to a proper infirmary or checked out by a Medic.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
@@michaelgreenwood3413 Rolled gauze, useful for GSWs and many other injuries as well or a t-shirt, would be harder to come by than tampons? Tampons, which are being brought for a single purpose - a purpose that they’re so minimally effective for at treating high velocity GSWs it would be laughable if it were not so serious...
@DustyJones1997BGCL
@DustyJones1997BGCL Рік тому
To honestly think that once Florida gets pounded by this hurricane Biden is still going to be willing to help Florida because he cares about America but Deathsantis will try to make it seem like it's a bad thing I hope he loses in November vote for Charlie Crist.
@stanbyme7874
@stanbyme7874 Рік тому
For the PEOPLE, by the PEOPLE (said no MAGAhat)
@ritacuartas6695
@ritacuartas6695 Рік тому
That is not true! DeathSantis would not make it seem as if it's a bad thing! He would just take credit for it himself!
@cindypomerleau950
@cindypomerleau950 Рік тому
DeSatan is even more deranged and cruel than TFG. Come on Florida. Vote blue, not Q.
@TheDarkness1
@TheDarkness1 Рік тому
He'll rename it hurricane Ron and proclaim it's bringing water to thirsty Floridans. Hot wind DeSantis strikes again.
@alansheiman4818
@alansheiman4818 Рік тому
@@ritacuartas6695 I thought his name was DeSatin.
@wrmlm37
@wrmlm37 Рік тому
"IS POTATO", is my new fave expression at home. Husband hates Stephen so he has no idea what I am talking about! I find it hysterical:))))
@masav7287
@masav7287 Рік тому
No need to fly anybody anywhere. Just call in number 45 and give him a sharpie, 😄
@SuperlativeCG
@SuperlativeCG Рік тому
The asteroid that ended the dinosaurs was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone on Earth's history.
@henrygvidonas9573
@henrygvidonas9573 Рік тому
Birds didn't exist back then, they developed later. So no, it wasn't... (Sorry!)
@mudmug1
@mudmug1 Рік тому
Nice. Very nice
@purplefood1
@purplefood1 Рік тому
Technically it led to them existing we don't know if they would have evolved otherwise. It's the only stone that's ever created birds
@racookster
@racookster Рік тому
@@henrygvidonas9573- Modern birds originated about 100 million years ago. The asteroid struck about 65 million years ago. So, birds did exist and I'm sure the asteroid killed quite a few... along with a lot of everything else. I'm sure the OP was alluding to the fact that birds ARE theropod dinosaurs, though.
@annalieff-saxby568
@annalieff-saxby568 Рік тому
@@racookster I thought that was the point of the joke?
@junheceta268
@junheceta268 Рік тому
My cousin lives in Florida, so I wish her and all Floridians stay safe and well. Meanwhile, are you sure DeSantis is still there? Maybe he flew to Martha's Vineyard already.
@alex35agm
@alex35agm Рік тому
He's possibly in Mexico drinking with Ted Cruz.
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 Рік тому
Unlike Zelenski who said he needed ammunition, not transportation.
@binah7744
@binah7744 Рік тому
The tampon thing has been known wisdom for a while. Both when I was an army medic and a civilian EMT, we always had tampons on hand for that.
@geistnation5913
@geistnation5913 Рік тому
I love Nasa and their excitement!!
@alaskangirl4502
@alaskangirl4502 Рік тому
I live in Alaska but I just donated to Fetterman’s campaign ✊🏽😂
@HMFan2010
@HMFan2010 Рік тому
Fetterman reminds me of Zelenskyy who shows up to important political meetings in a t-shirt and jeans. It doesn't matter how you're dressed if you get the job done.
@demoskunk
@demoskunk Рік тому
It doesn't matter how you Tweet, if you get the job done.
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 Рік тому
It doesn't matter if you run on an anti-corruption platform, as long as you buy up enough real estate abroad (and keep those off shore coffers full)
@HMFan2010
@HMFan2010 Рік тому
@@demoskunk Well, 45 can't Tweet anymore; his “Truths” are lies; and he didn't get much done other than completely jack up the nation, ruin our global reputation (though we’ve been doing that for years), and lining his own pockets with the cash of the blindly and ignorantly loyal.
@Swan-rb4yg
@Swan-rb4yg Рік тому
Well, but Zelensky wears normal shirts and jeans. Fetterman must search long and hard to find clothes as ugly, hideously ugly as he wears.
@demoskunk
@demoskunk Рік тому
@@Swan-rb4yg Yes, that would expend a lot of energy, lol. Einstein wore the same suit everyday because he didn't want to waste brain-power thinking about what to wear.
@ruirodtube
@ruirodtube Рік тому
6:34 the future of elections in Florida 😅
@kuromikendall
@kuromikendall Рік тому
The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love your decisions. ♡
@mostrecenthero
@mostrecenthero Рік тому
I ❤️ and will always ❤️ these monologues. In 2 months, I hope things change for the better for 🌎 and for now I hope everyone in Florida is able to stay as safe as possible.
@caradianne
@caradianne Рік тому
Thank you for being here for all these years!
@leyrua
@leyrua Рік тому
He's one of the few people that have made all of the bad news bearable.
@TobiasMeinecke
@TobiasMeinecke Рік тому
I really took to his show during the lockdowns.
@Sundayjean
@Sundayjean Рік тому
😂😂 ❤ the Venezuelan joke! I’m in FL., it’s kind of hard to get out of its path unless you fly far north and west.
@BigMoney23223
@BigMoney23223 Рік тому
I love how he still hands his imaginary props off camera to his assistant
@TobiasMeinecke
@TobiasMeinecke Рік тому
Except Jon Batiste always had a little music cue, a pling etc with it. I miss these from the new Bandleader.
@saturnv2419
@saturnv2419 Рік тому
Russia might be the first country ever to have people flee because their country invaded other, not because others invade theirs.
@cindypomerleau950
@cindypomerleau950 Рік тому
Exactly what I was thinking. Vietnam didn't even create this amount of departures. A lot of Jehovah witnesses, I guess.
@TheDarkness1
@TheDarkness1 Рік тому
Is mass potato exodus.
@doughannan6935
@doughannan6935 Рік тому
Umm, Americans who fled to Canada during the Vietnam war?
@teresastillabower8361
@teresastillabower8361 Рік тому
@@doughannan6935 no were near the same thing.
@alfredkaufmann8865
@alfredkaufmann8865 Рік тому
Not the first. The U.S. invaded Vietnam and of lots of American draft dodgers fled to Canada.
@ninnusridhar
@ninnusridhar Рік тому
With all the terrible things going on in this world, the various wars, natural disasters, destruction of democracies, the dont worry darling press tour, and the big mac Watching genuine joy from a truly impressive human achivement is just refreshing
@RaeCarson
@RaeCarson Рік тому
Especially when said human achievement ultimately benefits the entirety of planet Earth, not merely humans. Massive meotoric impact is no joke.....look at the dinosaurs.
@eriksigalraven8340
@eriksigalraven8340 10 місяців тому
Dont you know russian government drafting convicted rapists and maniacs?
@singerrb4984
@singerrb4984 Рік тому
"Why can't we all get along?" statement from criminal but so true. Give peace a chance!
@DNTCreativeMedia
@DNTCreativeMedia Рік тому
"Ivan In The Skysky." Brilliant!
@joaobraganca8509
@joaobraganca8509 Рік тому
OMG, that sarcastic joke about asking DeSantis for a plane ride is hilarious.
@lh3540
@lh3540 Рік тому
I'm going to start quoting, "God, I've been shot!" everytime I get a tampon out now, thanks. 😂
@a.kenneth3521
@a.kenneth3521 Рік тому
My first LOL of the day. Thank you!
@shirleyrombough8173
@shirleyrombough8173 Рік тому
Funny!
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 Рік тому
Never forget They found a letter from Prince Charles to Camilla (while they were both married to other people) where he said he wanted to be her tampon. Classy people, those Brits..
@KaraZiasapiens
@KaraZiasapiens Рік тому
🤣🤣🤣
@citypavement
@citypavement Рік тому
That's going to get old real fast.
@Bzuhl
@Bzuhl Рік тому
The conspiracy theories based those footages are going to be legendary
@joshuadallas3135
@joshuadallas3135 Рік тому
That poor man in the writer's room bit had his hand up for a high-five and was left hanging. That is a unique pain and deserves a moment of silence.
@qisWatChiNgU
@qisWatChiNgU Рік тому
So why do we need space force? Go NASA! 👍
@steveaustin2686
@steveaustin2686 Рік тому
The US Space Force (USSF) has assets in Earth orbit, looking inward, for early warning of attacks here on Earth and for gathering intelligence. NASA does the deep space stuff. The US Air Force (USAF) used to do the stuff the USSF does, but Trump wanted to go down in the history books. It makes for more admin costs now, but if space access keeps, it would make sense for a separate USSF in the future. They won't focus outward until people out there on a semi-permanent basis.
@joshuaewing159
@joshuaewing159 Рік тому
So grateful to have made it this early to the monologue that makes the world go round. The proceedings can wait because the real hurricane comes for them after Wednesday
@shahnulislam9897
@shahnulislam9897 Рік тому
Lucky for you i saved it on youtube
@jturtle5318
@jturtle5318 Рік тому
The name tampon comes from the French tamponade, which is applying pressure. It's taught in first aid training, and ambulances carry a type of tampon for use in bullet wounds or large stab wounds. You don't want the scented kind.
@skoshman1
@skoshman1 Рік тому
Fun fact about pads and tampons at war: They are dead serious and these should be in any serious first aid kit. Also, was a common part of a person first kit of American soliders during the Vietnam War. Wasn't suppied by the military - was supplied by writing home.
@edabean007
@edabean007 Рік тому
Why don't they just change the wind direction and make the storm go away.? I hear it can be done with just a sharpie™ and a map.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 Рік тому
or just by pretending
@kkrolf2782
@kkrolf2782 Рік тому
Or … just THINKING it. You know, you can do that kind of thing when you’re president.
@GusCraft460
@GusCraft460 Рік тому
Tampons to plug gunshot wounds is actually their original intended purpose. WWI nurses stared using them in the more popular modern fashion and that’s basically the whole story. So yeah, you can thank WWI for tampons.
@rainbowprism6242
@rainbowprism6242 Рік тому
Was not WWI was when they used boiling tar to stop bleeding?
@GusCraft460
@GusCraft460 Рік тому
@@rainbowprism6242 I’ve never heard of that. There were also different methods used by different countries in the war.
@stoodmuffinpersonal3144
@stoodmuffinpersonal3144 Рік тому
Oh shit, no way?
@rainbowprism6242
@rainbowprism6242 Рік тому
@@GusCraft460 I seem to remember that before certain warfare there was some medical myth that applying boiling tar before bandages would stop bleeding better. It was disproved by a medic who ran out of tar and had field confirmation that not applying scalding toxic mass would let wounds heal better. Not sure during which war it was happening.
@fionaanderson5796
@fionaanderson5796 Рік тому
It's still taught as first aid for certain injuries in bush survival and camping. Likewise sanitary pads for larger wounds.
@dayhefner
@dayhefner Рік тому
“Look at those happy nerds!” 😂💛
@queenmouille
@queenmouille Рік тому
Reporting from the future exactly two months from now: the joke was a success! 🤣
@r.a.cabrales1677
@r.a.cabrales1677 Рік тому
5:18 "Is Potato" 😆 never gets old
@citypavement
@citypavement Рік тому
I disagree.
@r.a.cabrales1677
@r.a.cabrales1677 Рік тому
@@citypavement is potato
@haruruben
@haruruben Рік тому
4:31 is this real?!!!! Ok, it’s bad enough using tampons but then Putin won’t even buy the tampons for you
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 Рік тому
the us military does this. see above. it's also literally how tampons were invented, only in reverse. blood absorption material from medical kits became tampons.
@haruruben
@haruruben Рік тому
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 the US military provided first aid supplies to its soldiers
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: ukposts.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@Lisared023
@Lisared023 Рік тому
Priceless: tell DeSantis you're Venezuelan. Maybe he'll give you a free plane ride to Martha's Vineyard. 😂😂😂😂
@DoctorJellybeanG
@DoctorJellybeanG Рік тому
Here is weapon….IS POTATO!!! It was right there!!! 😂😂😂
@sashimiroll5055
@sashimiroll5055 Рік тому
“Look at those happy nerds” Coming from the man who ranted about LOTR on his last monologue, idk if Stephen can judge lol.
@diggysoze2897
@diggysoze2897 Рік тому
Real recognize real
@jpenneymrcoin6851
@jpenneymrcoin6851 Рік тому
it kinda bugs me that he's on the anti-intellectual bandwagon, if only the very edge of it. i kind of wish he'd celebrate nerdity a little more.
@angelad3170
@angelad3170 Рік тому
@@jpenneymrcoin6851 Clearly you've never seen him playing D&D with Matt Mercer =D
@denisesf5
@denisesf5 Рік тому
Stephen never disappoints! Wonderful comedian and human being ❤!
@jacobmeis1249
@jacobmeis1249 Рік тому
he is a freemasonic tool that hates women
@Serena.Hope.Eternal
@Serena.Hope.Eternal Рік тому
Hey Stephen, did your budget conk out at the couch level? Put some inspiring color on them walls and curtains dude! 🥰 😎 🎭 🧸🪅
@markkasprzyk3287
@markkasprzyk3287 Рік тому
Colbert comments were disgusting. Seriously? Ukraine people lost everything. Families lost everything. Children killed. and Colbert makes some stupid ass joke about Putin and his war not being productive? Seriously?
@orchoose
@orchoose Рік тому
Stupid normie audience doesnt know whan to clap. What a f clown Stephan became.
@Surge1077
@Surge1077 Рік тому
The Paramount Plus plug KILLED ME! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@karendorsey4780
@karendorsey4780 Рік тому
Stephen’s monologues are the best! Intelligent, funny! Prayers for Florida! Their Governor pulled political stunt regarding immigration. Now he needs the government to help his state! Karma!
@chrisloughnane4592
@chrisloughnane4592 Рік тому
"Put right hand on potato...." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@vilstef6988
@vilstef6988 Рік тому
Without even trying, Fetterman is cooler than Dr Oz.
@demoskunk
@demoskunk Рік тому
You mean Fetterwoman. How do you feel about the "working class candidate" living at home off his parent's money until he was 49?
@couragekarnga8735
@couragekarnga8735 Рік тому
All he has to do is not have the friggin last name Oz!
@peterg5383
@peterg5383 Рік тому
that's a *very* low bar. i mean, trilobytes are cooler than oz.
@morebirdsandroses
@morebirdsandroses Рік тому
I call him Dr Ooze 😝
@lenawagenfuehr53
@lenawagenfuehr53 Рік тому
@@couragekarnga8735 he doesn't. English doesn't respect other languages enough and leaves out the Umlaut
@lynetteray2146
@lynetteray2146 Рік тому
I escaped to Houston from Cape Coral on Sunday. RSW was packed and every single plane was 100% full! I really believe the vast majority of the population in Florida have done the right thing. Fingers crossed! Lynette
@s.anthonyulibarri2488
@s.anthonyulibarri2488 Рік тому
Told my friend she should evacuate. They decided to hunker down.
@markwilliams2620
@markwilliams2620 Рік тому
Nobody escapes from Cape Coma.
@Serena.Hope.Eternal
@Serena.Hope.Eternal Рік тому
When I lived in Florida and a hurricane was coming I was terrified. I didn't have finances or any way to get to safety. Truly gut wrenching feeling to know there's no one there for you, nowhere to go and no way to get there. My thoughts and prayers are with the people facing the storm and those whom have already dealt with Hurricane Ian, the Puerto Ricans and other Islanders. 🧸🥺 💙 💛
@tthappyrock368
@tthappyrock368 Рік тому
Good that you left when you did. I've been watching the projected storm surge levels--unless the trajectory changes significantly, a lot of people aren't going to have much to return to. My heart goes out to everyone affected!
@suezbell1
@suezbell1 Рік тому
"I'm bleeding; I need a tampon!"
@mr.dragoncrypto4138
@mr.dragoncrypto4138 Рік тому
DART is such an amazing accomplishment 👏 🙌. Should get a Guinness World record for longest shot projectile.
@O.G.MISFIT
@O.G.MISFIT Рік тому
#KickPutinintheBALLS
@bladerunner7146
@bladerunner7146 Рік тому
I found that last skit about the comedy writer's countdown incredibly creative. Let's check in two months whether it was also funny. 😆
@mirrorman95
@mirrorman95 Рік тому
0:58 Best part
@BILL_BO_jangles
@BILL_BO_jangles Рік тому
"Look at those happy nerds" lmao.
@shermanculbertson6244
@shermanculbertson6244 Рік тому
Stephen’s monologues are always funny and entertaining, no exceptions.
@jjthek
@jjthek Рік тому
It is. I enjoy his show a lot.
@Sandi-ke9mi
@Sandi-ke9mi Рік тому
@@jjthek Ditto. 🙌🏻💙
@hankakah4180
@hankakah4180 Рік тому
Jimmy Fallon and James Corden pales in comparison. I remember when I came on to this channel, there was 3.7 million subscribers, now up to 8.97 million and I can admit a lot of it was because Trump got into office. Always have fun when Stephen made fun of the Orangeman for the past 5 years.
@strikerbowls791
@strikerbowls791 Рік тому
Meh
@generalnawaki
@generalnawaki Рік тому
I prefer to Jay leno's old monologues.
@marshallfaulk6144
@marshallfaulk6144 Рік тому
One of the funniest men on tv
@Author_Alyssa_Taylor
@Author_Alyssa_Taylor Рік тому
Marshall Faulk -- "one of"??! I protest, sir! 😉
@andrewbeasley6003
@andrewbeasley6003 Рік тому
It's even funnier, when your opponent gives you the best slogan for you don't even have to think about one
@The_Infamous_Boogyman
@The_Infamous_Boogyman Рік тому
Tampons have been used in the battlefield for quite some time, actually a really good idea
@johnsonhunglo1993
@johnsonhunglo1993 Рік тому
Isn't a 'tampon' just a re-purposed battlefield dressing?
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Please do not treat GSWs with tampons, this is an antiquated and rather ineffective medical intervention. Instead, visualize the wound by removing the blood (preferably not disrupting any clots in the process), locate the source of bleeding and apply a bound/folded piece of gauze (preferably rolled so you can pack the wound with the tail end) directly to the source of bleeding with substantial pressure and do not release, regardless of how uncomfortable it might be to stop the bleeding. You cannot apply sufficient force to stop any serious venous or arterial bleeding with a tampon. You might have some luck with epistaxis and tampons, but this is bad advice and patients will die treating a GSW this way. A tampon is designed to absorb blood, maybe an ounce of blood at most... Training plus tourniquets, rolled gauze, chest seals, pressure, and rapid transport to definitive care are what you need - not effing tampons. Rolled gauze is likely the single most versatile and effective kit for this and other injuries one could carry, and one can quickly fashion a tourniquet with a windlass stick. Tourniquets are ineffective without a windlass - you will not generate sufficient force without a windlass to effectively occlude or slow arterial blood flow. Or use a t-shirt in a pinch. Source EMT-Paramedic school.
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
Navy Corpsman are already explaining why tampons are not a sound intervention for GSWs: ukposts.infoCdGNIup0xEQ?feature=share
@johnsonhunglo1993
@johnsonhunglo1993 Рік тому
@@ElCapAddict: School-based information seems best!!
@ElCapAddict
@ElCapAddict Рік тому
@@johnsonhunglo1993 Well, I’ve treated high-velocity rifle injuries - and tampons would be a laughable idea if it were not so serious. This is not the turn of the 20th century or WW1 medicine.
@alansmitheejr.
@alansmitheejr. Рік тому
Russians are already giving the cold shoulder to Putin's draft.
@MrPhotodoc
@MrPhotodoc Рік тому
Putin's referendum is exactly what *rump wants for the midterms here. The timing is perfect for him. And potato.
@0blueskycomplex
@0blueskycomplex Рік тому
Just wanna drop a comment to gas up Louis. Gotta be somethin' else pressure wise to follow up a human like Jon. Love Louis 🖤
@Cuidichmi
@Cuidichmi Рік тому
‘King of England’…. yep it’s heading that way, sure….😂 😂
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