I hope people don't judge single people above a certain age as "spoiled goods". There are many reasons why someone is single. Maybe they are just an introvert and do not have many chances to meet new people. Maybe they are new in town and it is hard to meet quality people as adults. Maybe they have high standards and would rather wait & be single rather than settle. Maybe they are just more focused on achieving their goals because they want to fulfill their lifelong dreams and provide for their family. So please don't judge a person on the face value/stereotype and get to know the person for him/herself.

I just entered my 30s today and am "evergreen" - as someone who's spent all their life single, I think the threshold for a partner becomes higher simply because I'm so used to singlehood. Perhaps this means that I'm doomed to remain single, because there are so many things I want in a partner and like John said - you give up that 80% in search of 20% only to realise you're 33 and everyone else is taken. The difference is that I think I will be okay with being alone, simply because I've kind of envisioned that as my end goal in life. When I think about being 60, I'm not sure I see a partner in my life. Sure, if the person brings me so much joy, adds value and complements my existing lifestyle, I'd be happy to have them walk alongside me. However, I'll also have to be real and say that I don't know how much sacrifice I'm willing to make in order to make a relationship work. Just offering a perspective to you guys on this. Anyway, please expand on this topic if possible! Would love to hear you guys talk about non-conventional relationships in Singapore, and even perhaps about how attachment styles affects your outlook on relationships etc. thanks for this great episode, was a rly nice birthday surprise to see this video on my page today HAHA

As a working adult, I feel there is nothing wrong with being single, I have my hobbies and so many stuff I do alone to keep me good, plus my friends etc. At the same time, I admit that I would totally enjoy having a partner and a relationship. In other words imma let life take me to where I belong because it still seems ok rn

If you are used to being single, you can find happiness in other areas like hobbies etc. People who are attached will never be able to comprehend how singles can be happy. Let me give an example. I'm an 80's kid and I live through the period where we don't have Hps and we were happy. Ask kids nowadays if they could be happy without their phone, they will not be able to phantom that thought because they are used to having it. If you are used to being alone, you will not feel sad being alone. Family is a source of happiness, but there are also many other sources available.

I'm a 43 year old gay man and have been single for many years. I'm totally fine with doing things on my own such as going to movies, museums, shopping and even (gasp) dining alone at nice cafes but I do feel loneliness creeping in now and then. So yes, it is possible to be alone AND lonely at times. It does not specifically have to be one or the other as life is not entirely black and white. But being a gay man in the 40s does have its own limitations (community vs society) and that's a story for another day. A piece of advice is not to go into a relationship hoping to feel complete. You complete you.

No 1 secret to happiness is, contentment in whatever you have at the moment, whether you're single or attached.

You know, I met my wife when I was 22. We have been together for 13 years. Things can seem to be perfect when you were in bf/gf relationship. But the dynamic changes with different phases- marriage then have children. Every personality trait is a double edged sword. What could be the person's strength can be a person's weakness in different phase of life. But we cannot forget that the person is still the same person. He/ she has not changed at all. . One thing I always remind myself is that my wife is always 95/100 marks and I will not risk giving her up just to find someone who can replace her flaws. My thought after such a long relationship is that I shouldn't expect my wife to change. I can only change myself or adapt myself to the circumstances. It is my personal growth as a person, a man, a husband and a dad. So long as the relationship is not toxic or abusive, there's no reason for me to leave the relationship. You always have to keep a lookout for that joy in a relationship.

I used to be single my whole life until recently where I got into a relationships with someone at the start of this year. We are both in our mid 20s and its our first relationship. Before this, I was completely fine and very happy being single, albeit a part of me craving for what having a companion would be like. Sadly, we broke up recently. Seeing how majority of this cast has always had fulfilling relationships in the past and present, it is sad on how they see single women in 30s as 'spoilt goods' or like there's something wrong with them. I always wished we had more representation in the media on happy singles who are content with their life. Not every Christmas movie needs to be about love, and I dislike how much 'couples' are being portrayed as a marketing tactic, its like super in your face. Not gonna lie but this break up is hard on me and I have to learn how to be alone again. I was totally fine being alone previously but after having a companion for this whole year, it does feel like a part of me is missing and I am struggling to overcome this. Not to mention seeing your friends being in stable relationships and talking about engagement rings etc. I am happy for them but really I feel guilty that I am jealous and also sad at the same time for myself. I chanced upon this channel a month back and you guys have kept me company in my lonely times and made me laugh when I thought I couldn't do so anymore. Thank you and don't stop making these great conversions! :)

I think the definition of bestfriend is someone who instantly gets what you’re saying & feels for you almost instantly. They don’t have to know every detail, but they should prolly have similar defences &/a sort of awareness for your growth & your boundaries.

Dan was sooo authentic during this ep! He carried this conversation imo. Appreciate the transparency in your thoughts & experiences Dan! It brings an edge and heartwarming sentiment to this video’s topic.

Let's try this!!! Age: 26 3 things that I like: 1- trying different crafty stuff 2- Animals (pretty basic) 3- Extreme adventure (though it has been awhile since I last did this)

As an aromatic asexual, I'm very happy with being single. I've briefly dated (before I understood myself better) but always struggled with the guilt of resenting the other party for wanting my time and energy. I realised I can never be fair to the other person in terms of emotional investment and decided to chose singlehood ie myself rather than hurt someone else because I can never give them what they want from me. I think at the end of the day, you don't really need to have a partner so long as you have a proper network of friends and family to ground you- and also a reason to live. Which doesn't have to be the cliche family or kids. For me, its to hone my craft and to perfect my ability to draw the stuff that moves me. I realise that this opportunity is only open to me because I'm born in a time and place where I as a woman, get to chose my own life path rather than be forced into an expected format like my grandmother and aunts before me. Half of whom have chosen to divorce, to be able to live their life freely now that their kids have grown up. (and to answer Jon, I've once asked my dad and mom (separately) if they've regretted having me, and their answer was "if I could chose again, I would chose to go to the mountains" LOL so yes, I agree that a LOT of people do regret having kids if only because of the humongous financial and life commitment, they basically had to put 1/2 of their life on hold to raise me and my sibling and only now that I'm in my 30's do they begin to restart where they left off)

I have two Indian friends, both of whom have parents who got together through arranged marriage. Neither of them had the privilege to choose their partners or the luxury of time to see if they were compatible or not but decades later managed to grow into one another and have lovely families. For most people it would seem almost obvious that something born out of nothing would be doomed to fail but years later when I met my friends and had the chance to speak to their parents, they all basically said the same thing: "The person beside you might not be your choice, but loving that person is. Love is a choice and it's a choice you have to make every day. You have to choose to love that person and care for that person and meet that person through their ups and downs." It was definitely a refreshing perspective on love that has stuck with me over the years and really hits home the importance of acting on love and not just relying on feelings to dictate the flow of a relationship.

I am single and I think one of the factors that contributed to it is that I came from a broken family. The reason I know it is that I read a lot of psychological books and came to a realisation to why I am so afraid to enter a relationship. There’s something lacking in me. I always knew that and I didn’t know what. Growing up as a child, I always saw my parents fighting both physically and verbally and the whole neighbourhood could hear them doing that. I was too embarrassed by that and I hated my mom cause she was very verbally abusive. Can you guys talk about how a person coming from a broken family affected him so much both mentally and socially and relationships and staff

24F, I think I'm single because 1. No suitors, so for a more passive personality I do not have easy options. Maybe cos I have a small social circle, maybe cos I started out average-ish then got more attractive later in life, and maybe cos people assume I'm taken so they don't approach me. My mom said we're similar - she was known in her area to be smart & pretty but no one pursued her cos she didn't come across as "attainable". She said I give off the same vibes LOL 2. High standards. I never thought my standards were high until one day I looked around me, girls who I see with high regards... I look at their bf and wonder what she sees in them. Honestly so far only one guy I met was up to my standards, but he already getting BTO when I knew him. It's like the good ones are taken, or I'm just not meeting them nor knowing the best avenue to meet them. 3. Low/inconsistent desire to get out of being single. I had unpleasant experiences in being overly attached at a younger age and I guess I over-corrected it by "being too comfortable with being alone/independent". I end up feeling uncomfortable if I need to be reliant on people, if my mood is always influenced by a S.O. and if I lose control over my emotions. I get occasional swings of "omg I want to date so badly" but its like a short phase (ranging 2 hours to 2 weeks) and I go back to "yeah I think being alone is better" 4. Kind of dense / slow to pick up hints. I've been single for too long, I don't know how to read people's interests in me. If I wonder "is that xxx interested in me" I will dismiss it as overthinking. And I get more blatantly-expressed interests from people I'm 100% not interested in lol. 5. Complex background & torn identity, so its hard for one person to resonate with all parts of me. And I struggle to show all sides of me. 6. Fundamentally, I guess what I look for in a relationship is different from the traditional story of "marriage & reproduction". It's hard to word out exactly, but I know my opinions are less conventional and it's hard to find someone like minded with my small network or via dating apps. And honestly my future plan is without a partner. I'd try to buy private housing like 1-room studio, then apply BTO at the allowed age for singles. I know I will not drop my career for childbearing plans, and I don't see myself with needs of a partner to satisfy any needs I cannot attain on my own.

26yo, Female. As a person who is single and happy, and has never dated before, not due to the lack of chance(being in a relationship feels troublesome), I felt the need to comment here. XD (Ok, this might be too long, sorry in advance 🤣) When I was younger, I always had the thought that I would get married at 23 and have kids, since that's a good time biologically for females, and the social norm. However, as I grew older, I realised that was just an idea constructed due to environment and upbringing. I'm more of a rational person than an emotional person, so as I got to know more about pregnancy and seeing and hearing relationship woes, I can only say that the cons outweigh the pros. I love spending time with my friends and family, but I also love having time alone(I enjoy watching movies and eating with people or alone). The thought of being in a relationship, and having to allocate time for another person when I already find that I don't have enough time for myself, irks me. Not to mention, the drama and possible headache/heartbreak I see and hear from people around me. 😆 No thanks, I don't need that, I like my peaceful life. Also, pregnancy is scary and painful. One may get lasting health issues such as diabetes just from getting pregnant. Not only that, but 1 wrong move n you can screw your kid's life up, I don't really want that responsibility. In addition, there are already so many orphans out there, if I ever want a kid, I will choose to adopt. Also, 1 topic mentioned in the video above about changing for your partner, I personally wouldn't want a partner who wants me to change for him, or wants to change himself for me. I believe if you like a person, you like them for who they are, take the good with the bad. Anyways, I think I'm rambling. 🤣 Basically, I'm letting nature take its course, for now I'm making plans to live my life as a single, and when I'm old, probably move into 1 of those flats where the neighbours are all seniors, and there's like social worker who come to check up on you from time to time in case of anything(like passing away without anyone knowing), but if ever I meet someone who I think I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with, sure, why not. But for now, singlehood is great. 🤭

the point on "uncertainty of regret" hits hard :(

I came from a family and i saw my parents quarrelled and fight frequently and i told myself i didn't want my relationship to be like that. Once I got in a relationship, i showed affections to my partner, reflected on my actions, i mean couples do quarrelled at times, it how one reflect and learnt from it. The hardest part l learnt from being in relationship is being at each others face frequently and still stick together for the long run... I enjoy my me time when in relationship though and i encouraging my partner to find her own me time as well. When i was single, i constantly yearned to get in r/s, it's not like i felt lonely, i just wanted to find that special someone.

So, how many would prefer being single than be in a bad relationship? I totally get what JP mentioned about feeling lonely even when in a relationship and it sucks.

Whew, I didn't connect 11.11 as single day until after this episode haha! I am 35 and have been single throughout; Some people definitely did wonder if there was anything wrong with me as I was never attached before. Pre-30s, I was desperate to get into a relationship, but I have stopped looking since and fully embrace my singlehood (dining, watch movies alone etc, happily chasing my ambitions & dreams!).

This is one of the few channels where the comments section is really respectable and worth reading.

single and truly legit genuinely happy and not intending to get attached lol on the same side as some of the other comments here i.e. comfortable on my own and cant imagine breaking this comfort just for the sake of succumbing to pressures of getting attached

Was wondering when this week’s ep was coming out!! Yay!!

Wooo new episode! I totally agree with Jon! You should spend 80% of your time devoted to your relationship, and still have 20% freedom to follow your dreams and do what you want.

If you’re thick skinned like me, prefer quality over quantity relationships, then without peer pressure and more stubbornness added into the mix, it’s easy to be single. And yes, with over demanding parents and toxic workplaces, there’s more circumstances where you see the ugly sides of human nature. That’s just an opinion, but then it’s a way to stay firm of being single and not to get into the negative cursed loop that others have. 🤐

30M and single. Having had 2 previous relationships in my early to mid twenties, i can honestly say i've never felt lonely while single. As far as i can remember, the loneliest i've ever felt was when my first ex stood me up on a dinner date and i had to dine at a restaurant alone.

When the love has run its course being single is the best solution

I'm one of the single that start to enjoy watching movie alone, dining out alone and travel alone for years, not sure if it is normal but I think I'm so use to it to the point if some girl suddenly join me I will feel uncomfortable and feel out of routine like what you guys mentioned on the last part. :(

I met my partner in Poly, felt that his personality matches mine and then confessed. Because I'm an introvert and back then I already assumed that if I don't find someone in Poly, I will have an extra hard time finding anyone to date when I start working. But luckily he's such a great match, like hitting a jackpot

I am single and happy , I don't feel comfortable in having the responsibilities right now , so I Feel like I can't half ass through relationship. So I decided to stay single. 😅

loving the podcast. The exchanges of thoughts and experiences feels like I am with a group of friends whom I would enjoy hanging with. Commenting for YT algorithm.

Oh my god, didn't think of it this way. I agree that we shouldn't try to change our partners in a relationship but Denise is absolutely right that I am also looking for someone to elevate and rub off positiveness on me. JP said it, change for myself.

Please never stop this show!

The Daily Ketchup is oddly mirroring a public version of a cell group.

I would say that being single is a circumstance, but being alone and lonely is a choice? A single person can enjoy spending time alone, and also with family members and friends. And it's wonderful to be able to plan your time and use it the way you wish, rather than to compromise. But that being said, circumstances happen and preferences change. So I guess the quality of your relationship (or singlehood) depends on your adaptability and ability to let go of dreaming about what ifs and what could have been, and instead truly embracing what you have.

This might be my new favourite episode

Is it weird that although im only 19, i am very sure that i just want to be single for life and live freely?

Regarding 3:10 to 3:13 the 6 weekend course is called Marriage Preparation Course. The content are similar to Engaged Encounters [I had friends who went for both]. Personally, I went for Marriage Preparation Course, eye opening for sure.

great episode and perfect timing

I think Dan is actually an intelligent and good looking guy (of course I cant vouch for his character just based on videos but he does sound very reasonable). I'm glad he found his happiness with someone!

Ive never been in a relationship all my life (im like 28) and keep telling myself that i would one day find someone. but it does make you lonely, and cuz of covid it made it more obvious that im lonely LOL. So im alone quite alot, I do like eating alone and watching movies alone but there are someplaces that its hard to go into alone. so i do get why some ppl say its dangerous to be comfortable with that loneliness. Also there is this shame (to me la at least) in trying out dating apps cuz it makes me seem despo so i convince myself that its ok to be single. Thus my non existent dating life. *Laugh*

Nice video and definitely needs a part 2. And just to share, more men are single these days than women and its becoming a real problem with the prevalence of hypergamy. Singlehood is also becoming a contributing factor to increased suicide in men as well.

thoroughly enjoyed the podcast. heartwarming. authentic. and I don't want to jinx it but as of 23 Nov there are no votes for the dislike button! Great job guys

If happen to meet the right person why not but if not the loneliness that we felt I think it also one of our ability and for us to embrace it.

It wasn't much of a choice but rather for a long time the idea of relationship just didn't cross my mind, AT ALL. I was so happy in my own skin that I was kind of in a slumber until in my thirties when I suddenly "woke" up and try to see if I can do something. After several encounters, I think it is probably better to stay single than try to change yourself for others, such as neglecting own friends and family. If you change yourself for other people's standards you set yourself up for disappointment....that's what I feel la. Jon Paul, don't worry, if you feel stressed, look up to role models who are still single. It helps a lot.

wow this is really a quality podcast. i can relate to everything they talked about. sure singelhood has its perks. but the loneliness feeling really sucks!

i love my comfort zone & my right hand

The previlege of being an entrepreneur is that when going to work, you're building your dreams. - Johnathan Chua Word. Awesome work guys! Keep up the good job!

Loving that Howard Stark ref out of nowhere!

My answer to the question, absolutely

I am single male at 50. I live with myself. There is nothing wrong with me. Can't say I am happy all the time, but I am not unhappy. There are many things to keep me occupied.

Nah Denise is too jokes this episode🤣🤣 whaaaaaat?! happiness is not the goal?! 🤣 the way she said that had me and John deaddd

*_sigh_* i wish the vids are like 10 hrs long so i can listen while i do my assignments

I got this from many elderlies I talked to, and I agree with them as well. I think happiness is never the result of a single event, person or item, that's just euphoria or excitement over something/someone new. If u constantly seek that euphoria or excitement thinking that is happiness, then u r chasing a shadow and that's why u think happiness always eludes u. It is unrealistic to expect a girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse or ur kid to be your source of happiness. Neither will the euphoria from ur new Prada bag, nor ur Ferrari last. That baseline mood where u r not in depression (or anxiety, or *insert mental disorder*) , most of u and ur family's fundamental needs r met, u r not living from paycheck to paycheck and worrying about finances, I think that's happiness already.

sorry, will reference another local channel for this. i quite relate to tsl's/zula's video with one of their artistes/crew member (?) Mandon inside, covering the topic of why he's still single. i think the main reason centered around not being satisfied with yourself. and i mean yeah, i myself can't even stand myself when i get exceptionally mad at other ppl. and when i'm in a really good mood, sis got too many things to do to devote more time to another human. of course, there are people i like(d) and if they come around and confess, i wouldn't mind giving a shot OR if i really like them i may do the same back to them. but otherwise, i'm not actively looking for a relationship

We're actually biologically wired to have multiple partners. Not single. Not monogamous. Marriage and monogamy is just a human construct- a social contract that people feel obliged to conform to, but are not required to. I love the deep discussions you guys have and I'd be delighted if I can join in!

not sure what is the true or main reason , but the only thing i can figure out is i might have a mindset of escapism. . let me explain , i imagine and quite determined that i wouldn't want to have a money problem with my significant other , so my aim is to be filthy rich then only find my other half and i will just pamper my other half (thats just proof i have a one sided relationship mindset ). . Or i might just dont believe theres a girl out there who would be willing to be on my side to grind and struggle till i make it . Or i might be an extremists in the sense that i dont agree with the 80/20 rule , i want 100% or 0%

Could the team cover if taking breaks in relationships work?

i think i am single because of the competition out there ! Other reasons , it could be that i am too unique to find common grounds / chemistry with someone hmmm

To me, being single is a great place to self-explore, self-heal and attain a unique kind of peace in life. I always remind myself that it's better to be happy alone than tortured together. But the only thing I hate about being single is the singlism, made even worse by a country that has policies that prioritise marriage and kids

Single because I broke up around march and I still cant fully get over it.. it sucks but i dont really know how to deal and get over wif it

Let’s try this! Age: 22 Male 4 things about me or things I like 1. Rom com Chinese dramas ❤️ 2. Thoughtful conversations 3. Shy at first really sarcastic and really appreciate people who understands my sarcasm 4. Mahjong 🥳

Hi, I am recently find this chennel you guys really creating good content. And ya I am also still single don't... Love from India❤

at 33 i have been Single all my life and i never ever have any relationship. i have been rejected for 1,074 time i really want to get married and have my own family..

I think everyone have their own phases in life that they have to go through. What's important is to be comfortable with oneself, regardless of status. The only issue I am unable to come to terms is having children. My parents are adamant that one should have kids by the age of 35. It's that future regret John was saying. Like what if..

Finally an upload

I think I’m single because I’ve always been single and the thought of entering a relationship scares me because I’ve never been in one before

I'm a 30 year old male and single. I am probably gonna sound like a loser and get laughed at but I have been friendzoned 3 times from for likely being too nice after confessing that I like them. It happened once during secondary school and twice in polytechnic. I didn't have good looks nor a good body, I was pretty fat pre-NS hence being nice to people is all I know to do. Fast forward to today, I am much healthier, less fat than before but still fat, however I can't push myself to go dating because I'm just afraid of being rejected now. Some of my friends would introduce me to their female friends, in which I took a long time to consider and eventually rejected. The idea of being attached while losing the comfort of being single and being able to play computer games, doing shit at my own pace just feels absolutely bizarre. Right now, I find comfort in playing video games during my free time and can't imagine losing that unless my partner shares the same interests as I do.

why are cuss words censored now? :(

Actually there's no sekret in being happy being Single; Joey McIntyre - Stay the same, the main essence is in the lyrics, "when you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far" and I guess I just ended up being so in love with myself, my own space, my own time ~ i frag when i want to, eat whatever the F i want and it is really really addictive. But i do agree though, life isn't complete if one do not go through marriage and parenthood - personal opinion la ~

I feel like the way they describe their relationship and partner sounded like their partner could be anyone and you just have to settle and get used to the person.

If u r good looking n people know u r single it's a merit. If u r ugly n u r single people will judge u. Harsh truth

44:02 that's an excuse not to keep yourself company ;)

24:31 wow

Jonathan needs a lot of self-love.

I am single because I am who I am

"Romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the 19th century. Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm and it served society quite well" - Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory S1: E8

Walau......you guys talking about singles in their 30s. What about people like me who are already in our 40s and either divorced or still single? If things are bad for those in their 30s, then we all 40s die liao lor.....lol.

can u guys do a topic like is it wrong to go for looks?

the configuration yall sitting also 11.11

Haha! Illusion! I had kids n I’m still lonely now in my old age. Kids are leading their own lives.

If you ask traditional people they will answer the reason why we need to hv partner and married its because we need to hv kid so tht our kid can take care of us when we are old however in this day and age do you think our kid want to take care of us when we are old just be single better la if feel lonely just take care dog or cat case close

Undateble

This is doing numberssss!!!!! Y'all keep up the good fkin work omg. Loves that there's somewhat religious views too

There is no ‘ideal’ person. A person who is filial to his/her parents & respectful to others is a virtue to look at

John your hair damn nice

I feel like the men in this episode are super insecure and really need therapy. It feels like the only reason they want a relationship is because of peer pressure or they're scared of being lonely. It's so sad think that guys settle into relationships because they're scared of being lonely. I really hope my future boyfriend doesn't settle for me.

v wholesome video

32:46 not really "peer pressure", more like "biological instinct".

As a person being single from the day I was born until now which is like what 28 years? I never had a chance to get into relationship. If you want me to put it into nicer terms, I just wanna focus on my dreams and my studies as a artist and improve on my craft but if you want me to put in bad terms, I am just simply unwanted because nobody wants to get into a relationship with me, probably due to not winning the genetic lottery or just not pleasing to the eye to my female peers, like even throughout my tertiary in ite and poly, I never really had a chance to get into relationship. Plus I came from a single family where my mum passed away when I was young so I didn't really had that emotional support nor guidance on relationship. I Oso didn't really thought of why I would need a relationship too. So I just went through my whole phase from teenage to adult now at 28 just like that without being in a single relationship at all. I used to crave for companionship and love when I was young but now I just simply so used to being single that I no longer craved for that anymore. I'm alr comfortable with living by my own currently.

Yes you can be single and happy, but you need to have good income. Its not about materialistic, but you need those dollars to entertain yourself. Doing that for 3 years of single life. 2 years no money and 1 years have good income. Its like heaven and hell LOL

Thought provoking. Sinceree. Funnny.

Guess that’s the real reason of 11/11. 11 years old discovery

Jon Paul is seeing someone? 🥲

watching this again. I realized i'm a Dan lmao. I can't approach a women or have a good convo with them.

most people don't want to be alone. if not human will be long extinct.

When the topic comes to (male) masturbation, Jonathan dismissed what Denise said. It definitely gives a very unfriendly aura and somehow reminds me of why we need political correctness to have female leader in the room, otherwise your rights of many things will be just ignored or dismissed LOL

Can y’all upload more financial content it’s quite fun ♥️

Fun fact Singaporean couples like to do weird stuff

But now it's no nut november, so yeah, dragging up painful stuff for singles watching this video.