Best comment.

Well no shit, but people still fail to realize this.

This

Cool....I do it to myself instead of others 👌

That's what we tell our kid; but we were raised to stuff our negative emotions until they are unmanageable. IT's been one of the best things to be mindful about. Our kid is known for her very good even temperament for her age. :) She gets mad and we try to remember to let her explore that in the right ways in a safe environment.

I wish a lot more parents understood that kids are people, not property. I hope things get better for you

@@emilieshamy Thank you :)

Exactly same

As the daughter of a narcissist, I feel this so hard.

She very well might be a narcissist or something lol I said the same thing for decades and learned why it never got through to her

YES the men in my family are so emotionally constipated and closed off. I like it when people are open with their expression of love!

@@nithyasreesathyanarayanan5611 same. Our brothers aren’t too bad, unless they’re around our parents. But to their defense, even the girls are like that too. We just don’t show emotion around our parents.

Honestly, from what I've seen, that seems to be a stereotypical portrayal of Scots. They're usually shown as people who don't even try to hide their emotions and aren't afraid to have a gentle side to go with their rough, brawling image. It's why I tend to admire them, actually.

@@Krendall2 we couldn’t agree more. It makes them even more masculine and human to show that they have emotions, but are also tough.

@@Krendall2 I believe that's how they are. Might be a cultural thing

This is a difficult one in my opinion. On the whole I agree that the explanation is basically the acknowledgement of where x or y comes from and that it will be addressed and isn't okay. But it's also not going to change overnight if it's a behavior that has been going on for a while. There is also the layer that some people were so trashed in their past that they can't see it as anything but an excuse and need some serious therapy to start understanding it as an explanation. If I have someone in my life in that position, I can understand that it's not their fault, but I will always take measures when I notice bad behavior to protect myself too. If all they can see is excuse in every direction, I know they aren't ready for change. It's really important for people to understand explanation doesn't mean it's okay, yet also doesn't mean that it needs to change overnight, often because mistakes are more complex then one mess up. That and the human brain can't just change behavior with one instance of it showing to be a problem. A person willing to work with the other understanding it as an explanation also understands that it is likely future mistakes will be made and that it's a learning process. The trick is that it actually improves overtime. Often the next instance isn't as bad as the first and the next after that is less problematic until the problem is actually solved. It's when it's on repeat or gets worse each time that the person with the issues sees it as an excuse. I hope this all made sense lol. I just take issue with people saying explanation means it has to be fixed now, which is often what most people take it as. Excuse and explanation aren't black and white in most cases. Also the transgression in itself can indicate if the explanation matters at all. Some things are just crossed lines.

@Cenestpasmapersonnalité ☝🏽 💯

mm agreed. i believe that, simply put, “ur trauma does not excuse u hurting other ppl” n it’s not only helped me personally when others do hurt me n they try to justify it by using their trauma, but also how i interact w others: is my own trauma affecting my actions w others n hurting them

Yes yes yes yes yes

As someone with toxic parents who both went through hardships, I can agree that their pain and trauma does not justify their actions. I understand that you need help, but I can't give it to you. 😔

Looking back on my childhood, I can say that this right here is a big part of why I’m so close with my parents. It absolutely works like what Jonathan said.

@@mww22410 same here

@@mww22410 ngl my parents were pretty hard on strong, they didn't respect me as a person. but when i got to 17 i acted in such a way that they had no choice to (lots of extra curriculars etc that made me stay in school late to the point that they couldn't keep track of my schedule and had to start trusting me to lead my own life). but im very close to them now at the age of 23 because they went through a divorce and i ended up becoming the adult/therapist for the family.

In my case my parents keep treating me as a child btw i'm 23 but at the same time demands me a lot of responsabilities and actitudes that I never had in all my life because they'll make everything "easy" for me. they overproteccted me and that's it's also so wrong. I never had limits and I can't solve a lot of things for myself because they never teach me how to do it when I was a kid, it's extremely awfull and they don't change. I have a lot of mental issues and i'm in treatment in the present, but keep them in my life is bad because they don't let me progress. I have an older sister and they never was like this with her.

@@telescopia_ I've had a very similar problem too. I never realized it was a problem when I was younger but now that I am an adult I can better see that the overprotective nature and spoiling me/making life easy for me is keeping me from learning a lot of things I need to and should have already learned. I've been expected to inherently know without the experience; to follow the path laid out for me because it's the safest and best for me. I'm trying to make my own choices but it's often met with a lot of strife first. It's terrible when you have to grow a shell to protect yourself from the one/s that spent your whole life protecting you. I'm wishing you the best!

Upvote to infinity so they can see this comment haha

@@Leapingriver did you just say upvote on youtube

@@Leapingriver did you just say upvote on youtube

@@urmum2051 I did not realize that was wrong to say lmao? Guess I've been spending too much time on reddit before watching this vid

@@Leapingriver lol. Don’t worry, I feel you

A similar thing I noticed: in the first tapestry the queen made, with the family, Merida's hair is neatly braided like the queen's own hair, but in the tapestry with Merida and the bear, Merida's hair is loose and full. It's a small thing, but I think it reflects that her image of her daughter has shifted from the idealized version to embrace her as she truly is.

It's more accepted to learn from adults, but sometimes it's a two way street. We can learn a lot from people younger than us as well 🥰🥰

That's not good, she's not supposed to adopt her rebellious daughters excitement and desire freedom, she's supposed to be a prim and proper queen.

TBH almost every woman looks great with her hair down

@@travisboutilier2220character development

Yay!

Her mother also learned what her children saw through her time with Meridia as a bear. She's refusing to eat fish, and Merida is using the same lines she used with the triplets. It's also the only time she has gotten to interact with her daughter. For a long time she had teach Merida to be a queen, and had to interact as queen mentoring a princess. Now she's a mother spending time with her daughter. Funny how she had to turn into an animal for that to happen.

Very succinctly put. The biggest reason I adore Brave is that neither Merida nor her mother are completely in the right or completely in the wrong. They have to compromise and learn to see things from the other’s perspective in order to reach a mutual understanding.

This story isn’t perfect but I love the characters and the message behind it and the love and passion put into it

She can't put off the wedding, she has to get married as soon as possible.

😭 So powerful

I actually never realized she even said that until now wth?!

My mum uses what I call her to gauge my mood. I only call her mummy when I'm broken. It connects something harsh.

That was the moment I started bawling. I want my mummy back too 💔

👎👎👎👎😡

And I'll be borrowing that phrase in case my brother (or anyone actually) spits those exact words

@@Undomaranel yess! That's very much the right way to show that you actually care, listen and want to be there in the difficult times rather than just dismissing the issue which creates even more misunderstandings and distance

@@Undomaranel that's a good response.. If your child doesn't throw a fit and smash things first that'll lead you to throw a fit as well (unless you keep your cool)

I always found this movie underrated! I’m also of Scottish descent so that drew me in too :)

@Karima Cubero it depends. It's the same way how people use "tough love". People often confuse their needs with their wants. Ex. People think they NEED a friend who will back them up no matter what. What they really need is a friend who isn't afraid to tell them that they are wrong.

While Merida who, at this point, knows nothing of her mother other than the veneer she puts on is talking to... a horse. Lol Meridas version of the conversation seems to be far more one sided than the one her MOTHER expects to have.

I'm glad you took something super insightful from that scene, because what I took from that conversation, was that Fergus has the equivalent IQ of a horse.

​@@dreamibluyou killed me 💀💀💀 that was so hilarious

I was also shocked when my parents did

i would have been scared shitless lol

That's why the title is called "Brave" because she was never scared throughout the whole movie.

I would have been scared with every argument lmao

MOOD! If my mom came at me like that, I would FREAK!

I rehear it in a scottish accent in my mind, and it develops a double-meaning.

@@MystfireStudio 🤣

I didn't even hear that last part LOL

I heard it as he was losing them to Merida and I started bawling again

For real though 🥰🐻🧸🧸🧸

Huh, I never thought about that, but yeah, they are, good point.

I mean, isn't that what they've always done?

@@nivyan Yeah, that's the whole point of OP's comment...?

@@JolieGirl2002 Maybe? I was indirectly asking if any of their movies doesn't have this trope. If my assumption is right, then yeah.

Maybe the concept was interesting but the movie was so flawed. Maybe it’s removing Brenda Chapman, maybe her vision already was not anything else than one character dynamic and everything else in the film was poorly thought out. And Merida isn’t very appealing character in any case.

I had this same experience! And if I ever mentioned the letters, she would explode in anger and chide me about not being mature enough to talk to her face and that I deeply hurt her by approaching her that way. Thankfully she's changed completely the past 2 years, but it had taken far, far too many losses to really count as a win. But today, we get to speak. Hopefully you share this experience and can someday reconnect with your mother

People can be stubborn. It's so easy in a relationship where it's super stressed to focus on what you feel. It's so hard to admit when bad things happen it's like "yeah you feel bad so do I and I'm not complaining" but that's not how it works. I wish the world was that simple lol. You cant fix a relationship without admitting theres a problem. Sometimes family's dont have the skillset to understand how to communicate. It takes two to tango. It's hard but I hope I've helped

She sounds just too self-centred to be a parent

I hope you have found therapy for this. This kind of relationship where the parent is always right, gets to say whatever they want to say, and you just have to take it - is damaging and has long term impact. I was ostracized from my family for 2 years because I tried to bring up that things weren't perfect growing up the way they always made things out to be. Literally I tried to tell the truth and I was shunned. I swallowed everything down for the next several years until I finally decided to cut them out of my life completely. That was nearly 2 years ago. It has allowed more and more memories to come to the surface, even after 10 years of my own focused healing. And allowed me to see bigger picture just how miserable my existence was and no, I wasn't making anything up or exaggerating. My parents went through their own kinds of trauma in their childhoods, and I feel compassion for them; as I do my grandparents who went through their trauma and so on. But I don't have to be in their lives, twisting myself into knots so I can be acceptable to them while they continue to go on without examining any of their past behavior. I wish you the same strength. 💗

When people say, "you have no idea what I was going through, I did the best I could," means they know they did crap, and don't want to take responsibility because it embarrasses them and they'd rather just shout it down than stare it in the face. In all honesty I'd stop trying because she's never gonna get it. In her mind whatever shit she was "dealing with"(I knew everything that was happening even though my parents thought I didn't, kids always know) doesn't excuse it and doesn't absolve her of any responsibility. It speaks to how little she respects you that she can't admit she was wrong directly.

Whenever I saw a comb that bragged of being indestructible I would just laugh. My curls have snapped many such braggards.

I think they actually talked about that after the movie was released. They actively had to draw every curl in their 3D programs to correctly animate the way they all moved.

Yeah!

hair problems require modern solutions

And another fun fact: her hair is springs attached to springs (I learnt this from khan academy)

pixar really has great animation work like take a look at soul, wtf they're animation whenever they play instruments looks so amazingly accurate

They did the same with Violets hair

Thank you for saying so. This made my day.

@@Victor_Graves Nevertheless, He's gifted

@@Victor_Graves kool

@@CinemaTherapyShow ❤❤❤

@@Victor_Graves some people are born with talents others don't have, that's a fact of life. That doesn't disqualify that he still had to go to school and learn all he knows now to bolster his his skills and talents to be an even better therapist. It's like how med students usually have no aversion to blood, that's a natural talent some have at just having a strong stomach or being naturally very even keel so they work well in emergencies. It doesn't invalidate that they still worked hard to get where they are, but their talents help make them better at what they do.

my parents are like that too. Im their only daughter and eldest child too. i can go days without speaking to them even tho we live in the same house

It is insane how it reminds me to the "You don’t exist" line from 1984... damn. My father is a horrible narcissist, but at least my mother is great. But it always breaks my heart when I encounter bad parenting that hurts children. :(

@@Szokynyovics breeding should be dependent on emotional maturity tests

I am so sorry. I can't believe she would say that. I really don't understand some people. You are definitely a person. She's wrong.

​@@Szokynyovics Me too, especially when I spot it in public. My heart breaks for those poor children.

That's a great way to improve your communication skills and avoid arguments!! My mom and I actually used the word "peaches" when there was something that I just didn't want to share. Growing up we were always (and still are) so close and told each other everything, so once I started avoiding some questions she started worrying that I had troubles when in reality I just wanted some privacy and she wasn't used to me expressing it that way. So we sat down and agreed that if either of us would ever say peaches, the topic isn't something I CAN'T talk to her about, just something I want to keep to myself. I guesd fruits work great for this 😂😂

I've tried setting up this almost exact system with family, but they just follow me around demanding the answers they want to hear while I say "not now, I need space, it's late etc" until I snap, snd then I'm evil for snapping. I've tried deflecting for over an hour once and they don't give a fuck

But this requires self-awareness and reflection, which not everyone (eg my father...) has. Even if I tried, I could never avoid his tantrums...

I love this idea.

Right! I also wish they included Merida’s speech to the clans with her mom in the back helping her. It was such an important part as Merida admits and sees where she was wrong while also being supported and understood by her mother. A lot of healing happened in that moment.

@@Crystal5672cats The other thing i like about her speech, is rather than insult the chiefs she praises them for their shared history and comradeship so that the feuding chefs were more focussed on being friends then rivals, which killed a lot of the tension for the whole affair.

@Lydia "Oh. I forgot. A princess should not have weapons, in your opinion. [Bear-linor nods, pauses, then glares at Merida]" (12/10/2021)

Yes! That scene and the one where Merida gives a speech with the help of her mom! 👏

What does she think she did all those times she rode away with a bow and arrow? Just sit around all day and _clean_ it?? Lol.

This goes for about 90% of kids, which makes the other 10% exceedingly painful. Because as a fairly well-loved teacher who manages to connect with most students, those other 10% put you in a permanently oscillating state between "how do I get them under control so the others can enjoy school" and "am I being fair enough to them".

@@DrZaius3141 A lot of the time those kids are just acting out because they have it tough and don't know any other way to deal with it..it sucks but you have to do what you have to for the good of the rest of the class.

@DrZaius3141 Most of that 10 percent aren't trainable UNLESS you take em out of a bad environment or put em by force in groups. Depends on how you want to be seen, although if you are a teacher, I hope you'd want your school to not be shut down for the latter like my grade 9 school was.

@@DrZaius3141 those 10% are the kids not getting respect at home. if the parents treat their kid better, they behave better

I don't agree with that, you're kids should listen and obey you no matter how you treat them until they come of age.

This is great. I hope you succeed in your efforts to yell less. Best wishes to you and your family.

"you didn't tell at me today dad" would have me bawling in that moment I heard "you usually do so I'm used to it even tho it hurts, but you haven't yet and this apology is confusing" and that hitting me while explaining the need for apologizing would be overwhelming. You're a great parent and this is a beautiful and triggering comment. Thank you.

@@MyNameBeeKayy that's not what she meant, but I get how that could be upsetting.

@@OlTrev apologies for presuming. Still a great parent tho

LITERALLY SAME holy shit 😭

I'm 26 going 27 and I still have that issue with my parents. Something something overBEARing pun

Just keep in mind one day you might be on the other side of the argument. Empathy is work.

As another almost 27 yr old, you kind of have to help your parents get there too. You have to stay calm and you have to vocalize what's wrong and how it makes you feel. I've spent years working with my parents on explaining why certain things they say to me are hurtful and it's taken time, practice, and patience but we're all getting better. Like they said, most people want to do the right thing and do right by others

I think the big thing with moms is they think we should want what they think we need. If I ever say "no thanks" to a recommendation/suggestion from my mom, she'll find a way to do it for me, even if it's not what I'd prefer.

This was also my favourite takeaway from this episode. I feel like understanding this disconnect could lead to solving or avoiding arguments altogether!

Yes if nothing else was said this entire episode ... this one thing would have made it worthwhile.

🤯🤯🤯🤯

The quote is at 22:24 for reference. I also liked the summary leading up to that sentence, starting at 20:50

powerful.

Jonathan here. Good eye, that totally happened! Popcorn got everywhere, I lost 1/3 of the bag, we had to pause to cleanup.

@@CinemaTherapyShow LOL!

@@CinemaTherapyShow anger and then instant regratz 😂

@@CinemaTherapyShow no couch is safe from your sweet, cheesy rage

and hair ties lol

No amount of leave in conditioner or scrunchies can contain it

I can imagine how bad it could be when you have a bad hair day XD

I’m not Scottish, but Black and Irish, but my wild curly (slightly tighter curls than Merida) hair defies gravity, and things on shelves when let loose.

*every person with a grade 3 or 4 hair type* 🧍🏽‍♀️

For sureeee, my parents expect full respect just because they raised me

and at the same time, the children will learn how to do it too!

But the thing is, parents think and feel that they're superior than their child cause they're the one feeding and sheltering and basically the one who plays god. (mostly in asian countries) Our thoughts are not heard, once we TRY to respond in the softest and least intimidating way possible, parents will be like "so you're talking back now huh? " and then recieve punishment later. Why can't parents just listen? We (the children) hear them, but can't we just explain ourselves?

Can't recall a time when I received such an apology. I was always the one apologizing, even when I wasn't wrong.

Wait they exist?

My dad did this and I learned to do it too because I’d feel really grateful and admire that he did that and I would apologize to him if I ever did something wrong and in general I know pride isn’t more important than doing the right thing and I always try to admit my mistakes and change for the better

aww thats sweet :D

That's a good communication right there. Wish to get a relationship like that

He sounds like a level headed man I respect him

Aye it's nice to hear mention of another "go for a walk" guy

When I get angry I always start crying

Love that!

I had the same thought.

OnG i would've said, "UH WELL IDK, mAaaaaYBe, BeCaUsE I aM??????"

The thing is, Merida doesn't consider herself as a child, she feels mature enough to decide her own destiny, she thinks she's an adult (and at the time she actually was, she's about to get married) so answering that way would have been illogical

@@denissa449 she was 17 ,wasn’t she? If so then she was a child

@@kingofhearts804 Yes, but the concept of "child" and "adult" has changed through the ages. By the standards of the era in which this movie is set, Merida is very much not a child. By our standards-- by modern standards-- of course she is.

I also thought about it when I heard it. He was truely born for this job! 😁

It is. I was like I might have to try that or something similar

That reminded me of how my sisters and I would leave each other notes to apologize whenever we fought. With little baggies of gummy bears or cereal to munch on.

My mom needed a letter like that when I was younger. Sadly, I don't think it'll work now; she's too used to controlling me.

@@hauntedshadowslegacy2826 I guess, you'll never know until you try...

Kind, healthy and happy? Or kind of healthy and happy?

I can relate. When we announce my eldest would be named David Reuben. His father's family said, "Oh, he's going to be a doctor." (Cue eyeroll). When they allowed me in the conversation enough, I would say, "Or whatever he wants to be." I knew most of them were joking but his grandmother was insistent. I said to her several times, "Can't we just let him grow up and decide what he wants before we start making plans for him?" His father said it a lot but always with a laugh. Turns out he is severely autistic. His father came up crying from the basement one day and said he'd been watching Dougie Houser and was crying because he had thought David would be a doctor. I tried to reply compassionate but I was thinking, "Really? You really had that all planned out for him? If he decides he wants that, he will have to work much harder to achieve it than most but I will support him. However, why can't we just let him be a kid and then support him in the things he finds interesting. Why do you feel compelled to choose an occupation for him?"

I applaud you for having this perspective. I had a conversation with my dad a few weeks ago, and I had said something along the lines of “I’m sorry that I’m not great at a lot of things, or never was accomplished as you” and he replied something like “You are independent, you are a good person; what more could a parent want?” And hearing that made me so happy. I’m almost 30 and never finished college, and instead have been working in childcare for nearly a decade. My gramma, my father’s mother, might have reservations about that, but it means so much that my parents don’t.

For some reason my mother wanted either 1) a child exactly like her or 2) a sport star. I am the exact OPPOSITE of her in every way, and my youngest brother was a football star. Guess which child got more encouragement and positive reinforcement...

@@celianunn2070 And how many siblings do you have? Perhaps you're not alone. Did you every talk about your jealousy?

Not long after I turned 21, I told my dad that the worst punishment he used to give my brother and I was to tell us to go to our room and think of "an appropriate punishment". It was agonizing because we knew if we were too lenient he’d be extra hard on us for trying to weasel out of punishment, but we might come up with more harsh or more creative punishments than he would and give him ideas. When I told my dad how we used to agonize over that he looked blank for a sec, then said, “Annie, I only told y’all that because I was so angry that I needed 20 minutes to calm down. I didn’t want to be anything like my dad [he was super abusive], and I was afraid of my temper getting the better of me, so I told y’all that just to get you out of my sight for a bit. Then I could approach things calmly and rationally. I never knew that y’all took me so seriously when I’d say to think of an appropriate punishment." It’s really stuck with me. I have one kid and I’ve never been that mad at him yet, but he’s getting close to being a teenager so I’m sure the day is coming when I’ll be so mad that I’ll have to tell him "we both need to be alone for 20-30 minutes and then revisit this with a clear head."

@@Annie_Annie__ This is a good example of how what a parent says to a child, can stick with that child for far longer than the adult intends.

Ooo I like this

@@kiwin7119 For me it was a formative memory that shaped who I am; for you it was Tuesday

It's actually really smart. I've been trying to practice that more with my family

anyone who says brave is a "chic flick" should not be allowed to watch film. wow. ive never heard of that

My dad had to watch it twice before he said "ooooooh, it's about the girl and her mom" our loud at the end. Guess it's not a real "movie" if it's about women.

My mum always criticises how she looks, and would always do it to me. Ive had to say to my mum (only as I got older, I just got upset when I was a teenager) "You may talk to yourself like that, or think about yourself like that, and I'm sad that you do, but I don't talk to myself like that, I like how I look and I don't like when you say that stuff to me" and I had to get really strong on that, because I was told "you need to not be so sensitive and take criticism" (on my entire body and style )

This is true. But remember that parents have been thru what children haven't. They want their kids to have a better life than what they've had and of course to not make the same mistakes. It is parental love.

@@preciousthing101

It reminded me of my mother😑

Well, look at that. An atla analysis I havent's watched yet. I'm googling it right now xd

it is absolutely tiring putting so much effort for them but just not having the effort returned

Very that

It's just a one-way street with them. For some reason because of my parents, if I notice a relationship is one-sided I walk away, friends, bf, gf, idc I will walk away

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who cried at this, God I wish I could say that to my parents.

@@sourlofi I agree it feels like you're carrying an invisible weight, and it suffocating

I'm guessing she was a fan of Gothrel from tangled

Same here, my mom knew damn well that I was sensitive. I didn't even know that I was sensitive till my dad pointed it out and only he was the one who was willing to respect the boundaries that I made when it came to teasing me. After he was the one who actually showed that he cared. While my mom constantly crosses it just because she could.

Ur mom and mine would be great pals it seems.

Saaaaaaame

My mom and I loved the movie.

And if I’m right, three arrows is a Maid Marian I think

@@penny-peanut Oh my gosh, really? 🤩 Where in the world is that?

@@HeidiAga I… unfortunately can’t remember where I got that information. You ever just remember random things with no context as to where you got them? Yeah, that’s me. Sorry.

In Germany we too call it a Robin Hood. I know an archery shop with build in range, that gives you new arrows if you shoot one on their range and let them keep it as a trophy.

We call it the same in germany. Some archery teams even hang them up.

Ikr ? When I was a teenager I noticed my mother started to stop taking me seriously sometimes and I wished to be a child again. She would just roll her eyes with a condescendant smile. Where I am from we call adolescence the "ingrateful age" or the "dumb age" so that doesn't help :/

Im so sorry the name is even referred to it that way, I get that parents can have it hard not knowing what to do with all the changes and mood swings depending on their teen and it may be harder to connect to them Because it’s easy to feel misunderstood by our parents but adolescence is more than just that, it’s a critical development getting just a bit closer to adulthood day by day, and it takes going through mistakes after mistake after discoveries to start to figure themselves out, again not letting them do whatever they want but also teaching them that the parameters you set are part of them developing self love if the goal is for the parent to just shape the teen however they expect them to it’s not going to work because they will sense the little to no autonomy they have which is a vital human need

Forget what it's like to be a teenager? My parents forgot their whole childhood teenage years and all. Kinda crazy how my parents are first to say "I wAs A kId OnCe ToO sO i KnOw-" but then continues to do the same things their parents did to them to me. (Can't wait till I'm 18)

@@blahface240 I am twenty and I can tell you, unless you found a way to be financially stable (in that case bravo) sadly being 18 is not going to change anything.

@@arona6692 yes I know. But I say that because my parents will see me as an adult once I turn 18 and that's when they finally will stop controlling me, disrespecting me, and saying that they own me just because I'm a child. At least at 18- even though ik I probs won't move out until years (if I'm lucky maybe months 😳) later, they will finally start seeing me as a person with opinions and so on.

+

Yup.

no one' s perfect... but i just wish my dad knew this phrase when we were kids... he was busy with work and living in the same roof but him, along with our mom who's also busy, felt distant to me and my bro... in my 27 yrs on my life, the only advice he gave to us were related to exercise or that we should exercise to avoid stress and how we felt, or related on how he was successful in his course... i know he's a kind person, but not the most empathic father...

The first paragraph of this reminds me SO MUCH of the memory of my former high school friend that I still found so chilling for some reason. He was a narcissist and whenever I try to stand my ground and call him out, he would lash out at me and threatening to "blow things up". That day was in the early stage where I just rejected his confession and he wasn't happy that I said I wasn't responsible for "compensating him for his hurt feelings". I was trying to head home quick and avoided him, but he followed me close enough to say loud enough for me to hear, but not loud enough for others to hear. He said something along the line of "I hope you know you are a horrible person". The way he said it along with how close he was to me- I felt like I was about to get murdered. And that was with a friend I could easily get away from physically. Imagine that with a parent, who you have to live in the same house with. I can't imagine how terrible it was and I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's sad that we weren't taught that walking away is a healthy way to deal with our emotions before we come back to a heated argument. A lot of us were taught that walking away is rude and disrespectful. It's horrible how your mother ignored your need to calm down and followed you just to berate you. It's not okay and, to me, very creepy. I hope you are healing or have healed now. You definitely are a person that deserves to be heard, not interrupted and treated like a child like how your mother did.

@@sakumiraagashi I'm sorry that happened to you too,, having a friend turn for the worst is such a weird, scary and uncomfortable experience. I actually still live with my mother but I attend college so I'm not home half the year We have had a couple of talks and it does seem to be getting slightly better. I know she just gets hurt easily and also doesn't understand what needed space is. My grandparents weren't very nice to her and I know shes trying hard not to be like them so I forgive most of what she does and I know she does try. Hopefully, it will get better with time and effort either way.

@@amberkiely8521 Thanks for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I actually suspect that friend has always been like that, because almost anyone who knows him, even just a bit, either dislikes him or despises him. I knew him way back in middle school and I was pretty naive at the time. To younger me, he was just misunderstood and villainized for no reason, so I befriended him (hence he sad I was a "angel" and "savior". I seem to be the only one who has ever truly accepted him). Fast forward to high school, I finally understand why almost everyone hates him. He completely did a 180 the moment he didn't get what he wanted, and I found out he's been nasty to a lot of people I know in a similar way. I also remembered how he would follow me around between classes in middle school and realized how creepy it was. It was stalking. Even when my former best friend called him out on it, he legit didn't think it was wrong and creepy to do so. Honestly it's a really long story that I can't fit all in here haha. I'm happy to hear you and your mom are doing your best to improve your relationship. I believe time away from each other helps, because you both get to heal in peace and she gets to realize how it was hurting you. And you're very kind to forgive her. I think like the movie, we often misunderstand our parents. Yes, it's not an excuse, but it does help us understand why they act that way, same wth your mom. Generational trauma is real and we often do what our parents did to us without realizing it, so it makes me glad to hear your mom is trying to change that. I really wish you two the best

MOOOOOD!

Well i do not, they should just be telling love stories.

@@travisboutilier2220that’s lame

@@El1society No it isn't, it's beautiful and romantic.

I was 17 and saw it with my dad and I was legit crying and my dad fell asleep 🤣

Same here! Especially as someone who cares more about career than love life. I guess you could say it felt like being less alone :)

ngl I just love Brave because I adore Scottish accents (and also the horse-riding bow-shooting girl power) but the fact that she never gets a love interest is also something I've come to adore as I've gotten older (originally I just didn't care if she had one or not, I was the same age as you I think)

They made a children's book where she does pick one of the boys 😭

@@klcpesan *_THE BLASPHEMY_*

Yeah I think that’s what they meant about “anger makes most people act dumb.” Parents get angry with their kids. But the mom fell to Merida’s level of immaturity, in her anger, rather than defusing or de-escalating the situation. It wasn’t right, and she realized that right away it was the wrong thing to do.

What you said her us 100% true, but I think you misconstrued what they were saying. They never said that was ok, in fact they immediately when into how in anger we often do things we later regret. And while it is true what we should expect kore of adults than children or teenagers, it is also true that we are all fallible human beings. We all make mistakes. And claiming that a parent is never allowed to boil over is utterly ridiculous.

@@sassyviking6003 right. Adults have emotions too, and everyone is going to screw up at times. Expecting them not too or trying to assign who is more right in a situation is pointless. There's not a score board. That doesn't excuse what happens. The tapestry and the bow were just physical representations of how much they were hurting each other. The damage was real. It had laying ramifications. Even once it was repaired it wasn't the same as it originally was. Everyone screws up, it's the adult's job to model how to go about addressing their screw ups in a healthy manner.

I feel like I agree and disagree. Many studies show that wisdom is evenly spread throughout pretty much all ages including teenagers. The problem with many parents is the belief that they think they know more than their child about everything. I get what u mean but I think it’s a little iffy.

Definitely. But if it does happen, parents should have curtesy to apologise. It teaches their kids accountability and then let’s them know their parents care to admit they’re wrong.

I can understand why people like your parents think that way. But here is what I have seen many times in my life so far : People with "stable" jobs throwing all that away and moving to the country side, becoming Farmers, Fishers or just the town's oddball. They all say the same thing. "Yes, I make less money than before, but I feel so much better now." If a Person ever tells you what to do again, show them a documentary about landscape! Each one has at least one interview with a "runaway".

Honestly, the best thing you can do for your kids is to elaborate on why you want x to happen, and as what eventually happened with you, compromise as you work out how to approach the solution. Glad things worked out for you.

See, my parents just encouraged me to seek certification for a dependable better-than-entry-level job, something that I could do while I was in college for the thing I loved OR as a safety net for if my chosen career failed. It isn't nearly as devastating to be told "ok, just spend one summer to earn certification to be a pharmacy technician, that way you have something to support you until you find success, or fall back on if it doesn't work out" than if they had said "no, your chosen career will fail, you need to spend 4+ years to get this degree that you don't want for a career you don't want".

@@spooniesarah Exactly.

I hope they are proved right eventually and you start your art career.

The other significance: Elinor's immediate regret of tossing the bow in the fire, is because that was the bow Fergus gave Merida when she was little. Its been a treasured item and Elinor destroyed that out of a flash of anger.

Oh, to me it just reminded me to when my mother threw my sketch books and pencils away

@@abigailsanchez9673 Ouch, I'm so sorry! As somewhat of an artist myself, this really hit me.

“Mom, I’m so sorry,” my daughter said after Brave ended. “Now I understand.” 😢🥰😭

👍

Same!

That was me with the onward episode. I still havent watched it through because i keep crying.

Awww.

@@tyleralyssa2875 I had to Watch Onward before I watched their vid. Finally watched the film with both my parents.

Every video by cinema therapy makes me cry buckets 😭

Yeah people get real upset if I try to explain I need to calm down or I'll expload. Then they don't let me cool off so I end up exploading

literally my mom after she screams at me expecting me to take it all, i ask for a minute to clear my thoughts but no, i just break down in front of her instead 😬

My Mom literally told me that screaming and cursing is a healthy reaction when you're angry. I literally can't think of a good response if you're being verbally abusive!!!!!!!

My MIL taught all her children to walk away when they’re angry to calm down. Of course there are people that don’t like it when my one of my SILs walks away from them; she almost fell down a flight of stairs when her grandmother grabbed her braid and a woman ripped the sleeve of one of her dresses because they were mad that she was walking away from them.

My ex would get pissed if I even hinted that I needed space to calm down.......it got ugly 😔

you have an amazing mom. cherish her :)

wow good for you, now that's a respectable parent

You really have a good mom then. In my society it's kind of like a stigma to talk about things like this, parents admitting their problems to kids is sort of like a weakness. Here, it makes more sense if the dad or the mom is lashing out at the kids and the kids are just mindless zombies who obey. Of course, Gen Z did break this stereotype, but the adults keep trying to bring it back.

@@steelhert4363 yeah it freaking sucks, it is a stigma around here to, my mum's constantly getting ragged on by schools and other parents but we have a really good relationship where I can just talk to her about anything and she won't get mad. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm boasting or something, I'm just sick of it being such a stigma, it's just really unhealthy and cruel!

@@lollyyolo7587 No, of course it doesn't sound like you're boasting. You're proud of your mom and you have every right to be.

SO FUCKING ACCURATE, communication matters but it means BASICALLY NOTHING if there is no comprehension component. I learned this lesson the hard way in my first and so far only romantic adult relationship, which did NOT last long (which sucked at the time, I wanted to keep trying but the other party was like “this is too much for me”, but honestly huge friggin relief for me in the long haul). We both highly valued communication and expressed that but we went in circles a lot regarding certain issues and I kept getting blamed for not meeting their expectations. Even though I felt I was, and I was starting to get resentful of that accusation as well as the fact I felt I was repeating stuff but not seeing it make an impact. Communication matters, but frankly comprehension matters more.

Comminication involves the person relaying the information and the recipient, its not only the person relaying the info. No need to say communication and comprehension. Effective communication involves comprehension. This would be a better way of putting it rather than stating them as seperate things.

@@michaelpapageorgious5053 yup. My thought. Like, I get what the OP is saying but the "comprehension" in communication is usually implicit.

😅I have a learning comprehension disorder however trying and actually wanting to comprehend as well as asking many questions and working just a bit more to say a sentence. So yes you’re absolutely right🌸

@@marcisparcy5145 Definitely, communication is making an effort to comprehend, as well as making an effort to be clear, concise and accurate. And like you mentioned, there is an active listening component, where the recipient of the information may paraphrase it and repeat it back to the person retaining the essence of what was said. This is also related to steel-manning, which is the opposite of straw-manning (which might involve misconstruing the other person).

My two favorite movies are Pixar and Ghibli 😄

When you think Pixar can't top something, they end up shooting an arrow like Merida right through their last production.

Good news: we've got an episode on Hiccup and Stoick coming very soon!

@@CinemaTherapyShow and it's GREAT👍

*Thank you for suggesting this because now it's happened*

@@starcycle4308 has it? I couldn't find the video on their channel.

@@zk6410 Yep! ukposts.info/have/v-deo/i6qripiOgoOeu2Q.html (just the link to the specific video) and I must say, it is amazing

Same! I like that they did not have the villain-hero trope (not that I hate it) there's no really good or bad guy they are just...humans.

Good point. But we should take under consideration that, at that time, Merida might have been considered on the verge of adulthood.

@@AlaynaMoebius shes still a child; near an adult or not, she is still a child

@@peiskosi1193 Not for that epoch. So the mother saying that she's acting childish makes sense for the her and the time they live in, to state that she's acting immature.

@@peiskosi1193 back then she wasn’t considered a child just like how 18 in america people consider that not to be a child either. She’s an adolescence still finding herself and growing

Yo I feel that so much, I recently watched the Mitchell's vs the Machines which has a similar parent vs child, parent not understanding the child dynamic and I hate hate hate how movies try to portray like both sides are in the wrong when one of the sides is literally a child and the parent will do things that are actually incredibly toxic. Obviously there is the point of view that the "time period was different", etc but imagine being a teenager and your parent is trying to force you to get married even though you're not ready for it. Her mother also holds her to impossible standards of being perfect, criticizes every little thing she does that deviates from it, and is basically constantly reminding her she is a disappointment. What human wouldn't lash out or go crazy in that scenario?

Your comment made me tear up and opened one of the most hurtful wounds I have. Losing my mom. We too had, have and surely will have a lot of problem communicating, expressing our feelings and thoughts to each other. It was so difficult it would be weird if we didn’t have to use violence. She hardly hugs or kisses me and that’s what hurts me the most, since I’m a person who expresses love through physical touch, and she always hasn’t been. I know I’ll found difficult as hell not to tear up when I’ll watch this alone or with my kids and she would have passed away, cause for sure I’ll fill the whole ass room with my tears, but I’ll find a way to cope with it, at least I’ll try. Thanks for making this comment tho, I definitely needed to get some negativity outta my eyes :>. 💜

I hate on it cause Merida didn't fall in love, all princesses should fall in love.

​@@travisboutilier2220And why should it be? One thing I don't like about Disney movies and cinema in general is exactly the banality of women (but even men) needing to find love in order to have a hoppy life. We built a society and have an amazing thing in our head that lets us enjoy a lot of other activities, just as valuable as love. Is love amazing? Sure, but it shouldn't be a must.

@@BioTheHuman Cause it's beautiful and romantic. well unlike you, i like that idea and i think it's one of the best parts about Disney movies. love is powerful and passionate so it should always be a must.

@@travisboutilier2220 last time I checked actual love (the beautiful and passionate kind) ment treating your partner right not punching them and telling them their stupid and demanding they listen to the man simply because he's the man

@@shadowrose1859 Well you treat them right when they listen and appease you and you punch them when they don't listen and turn on you and you tell them their stupid when they get ridiculous ideas and they should listen to the men cause they rule.

hi!! Im curious of the title the book and it seems to be something im into reading lately heheheheh

@@emilei8589 I have to ask first, how old are you?

@@XingsPeachyAnus Hi! I am also curious about the book your reading! I'm 20 as of now. Thank you!

im 20 yrs old

The one thing I think that needs to be said here is that everyone responds to abuse differently, and that it can manifest itself in many forms. I’ve grown up in a questionable home myself and know quite a few people with enough siblings to hear so many various experiences and coping mechanisms concerning abuse. Yes, there will be those kids who are broken and shattered and shoved into silence. There will be other kids who desperately try to fix everything and please their abusers, or kids who will learn to walk on eggshells and be smart to avoid conflict. There are kids who naturally defend themselves and kids who naturally retreat into silence, kids who will physically and verbally fight back without hesitation and kids who will stop at nothing to make the fighting cease. Kids in abusive circumstances can grow up to be all sorts of things, whether that be angry and explosive, tactful and conflict-averting, distant and independent, thoughtful and quixotic, quiet and a shell of themselves. There’s no limit to how many effects it can have on people and to how many effects it can have on one person alone. Every reaction and manifestation is different as every kid becomes what they feel will help them get through and survive. Some get broken to the point of giving up, and that also looks different for every kid, too. Anyway, all that to say that I feel that Meredith’s fiery and resilient nature isn’t exactly concrete proof of the fact that her relationship with her mom isn’t abusive, because I do know for a fact there are abused kids who fearlessly embrace the verbal standoff between them and their angry mothers or fathers. That’s not to say that they’re better for it or that they don’t get hurt by those interactions, but it’s just the natural response I’ve seen some kids having even in some scarily damaging situations. Regardless, I probably nitpicked at something small here and that may not have been your point in the first place. I will say I completely agree with the end of your comment and I adore your analysis of Merida’s relationship with her mother. Thank you for this comment ☺️

Yeah, I felt like my dad liked me until I got old enough to push back 😕

Thank you! We elso need Prince movies. I'm really sick of the Princess movies. Let's have a series of movies for boys!

I'm gonna segue for a bit about this one. If you've already seen the Pixar short film about that Filipino dad who has a child with special flying abilities, "Float" that would be also related to your suggestion about dads (or male characters) having to be noticed about their struggles too.

@@kingblanketfort ikr! why can't we have prince movies :D

Maybe they should try the Mitchell's vs. the Machines. I know it's reasonably new, but the father-daughter relationship in it was so relatable to me at least.

I feel like there are so many films on fatherhood.....

Yeah, right. I wish I could too

@@elenavash.5749 I feel that man. I feel that.

Yeah...even though they don't understand each other the mother never intimidates her or anything. I wish we all had that...

Though, in the fire scene, you DO see Merida's face go straight to fear ... she knew she crossed a line, and she showed actual fear for a split second.

Yeah, so many times in that movie I had flashes of what my own parents would have done to me if I’d said half of what Merida did. And now I have a kid who behaves a LOT like Merida, and as frustrating as It is, i am so so proud of the fact that she isn’t afraid of me when I tell her off

Mor'Du is the Prince Bear's name.

I say Eleanor is wrong. she is so much into detail yet she fails to obser ve what her dauther says and does.

thats kinda rude..... [ur mom]

@@ellstoca that is one way to put it. The worst part is the note i wrote was asking her if she loved her boyfriend more than she loved me.

Some people werent meant to be parents ....I'm sorry your mom was a jerk

@@shelbybeard7161 i heard once that there are 2 types of mothers. The bearing mother and the nurturing mother. Mine was certainly much better at having children than actually having much to do with them. I've gotten over it as much as anyone could 🤷🏻

I wrote a letter to my mom asking her to be kinder to me n more loving n she read it and didn't care

Those be facts. I know that most parents want the best for their kid(s). And I can see them wanting the little rascals to know and experience a lot things at a young age, but some times even That is a lot of pressure on the kids. To be lived through by your parent(s), and never left to just Be themselves and do their own thing from time to time. Some times there isn’t much freedom when the reins are too tight on the kids, and it shows.

It’s quite sad that people say that brave is one of the worst pixar films they made when it’s a really great movie. Sure they could have made a potentially good world building movie (when i first saw the first brave trailer i thought it was some badas red riding hood film) but it’s a simple film and it’s decent enough

@@emiendo3128 I've not heard that! That's such a shame. I really liked the message in it and I LOVED that they hired Scottish actors and not people doing Scottish impressions. I've always found most people's impressions mildly insulting as yknow, half my family are Scottish and don't go around screaming "och aye the noo". My mum actually stopped saying och aye because she was relentlessly bullied about it here in England.

I had the same thing happen! My mom is from North East Scotland and I grew up in America!! Haha so interesting!!

@@emiendo3128 I feel like most people say that it was disappointing because of how messy the plot got (I believe eliquorice and schaffrillas productions did some great vidoes on this). One plot is about how Merida doesn't want to get married and about "girl power"; But that plot got totally forgotten like halfway through the movie for an, I guess, "random" plot of her mother turning into a bear.

@@xLittleCrazyPersonx One criticism, which I think is valid, is that "and not people doing Scottish impressions" applies to the voices but not to the full male characters. They are drawn and act in ways that take stereotypes into uncomfortable levels of mockery. It bothers some people I know to a much larger degree but I do think, if you are going to make a film tied to deep cultural roots, tread carefully when you try to make things "funny" or comedic. There are murky lines between making fun *with* a culture and making fun *of* a culture. Those decisions from the top were, imho, poor ones and detract from the rest of the film which I really do love. Obviously that's a subjective line and impressions will differ.

It's the fact it was a waste of potential that kinda ruins the pacing etc.

@@azuregriffin1116 how was it a waste of potential? I personally think it’s a good movie that does a great job in getting the message across but I’ve heard people disliking it so I’d like to hear why.

@@kriichan6100 I feel that there were better ways to do it then making her into a bear. It felt trope-ish. Don't get me wrong, I still love it, but I think there might have been room for improvement.

@@azuregriffin1116 that’s fair enough. Yeah the bear trope could’ve been thrown out for something more unique or realistic, like they’re all travelling together but they get split off and have to learn to listen to each other in order to survive or something like that, that could’ve made it better. But for what it is I think it’s pretty great, definitely room for improvement in terms of tropes tho.

This is my favorite movie

I mean, how DARE you have better emotional control than your superior- I mean parent!

@@fleon4115 lol Ikr bro

Lol same. It's really sad.

Yeah same, I try to walk away from an argument and they just bring it to me.

Also if you start getting quieter when they start yelling, they'll still say they're not yelling and they only sound worked up because *you're* yelling. And don't get me started on " I messages"