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Lyrics:
All righty then
Picture this if you will
10 to 2 am, X, yogi DMT, and a box of krispy kreme's in my "need to know" pose just outside of area 51, contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my birkinstocks, and me yelping "holy fuckin' shit!"
Then the X file being, looking like some kinda blue green Jackie chan, with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa, did a slow mo matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel, and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was, "I hope uncle martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants!!"
So light in his way, like an apparition, he'd had me crying out...
"Fuck me!
It's gotta be
The dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got right on top o' me
Got me seeing E mutha fuckin T!"
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said. "you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning for those who do not." Me! The chosen one. They chose me!!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!!
(You'd better listen)
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.
It was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing cuz this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now.
You believe me don't you?
Please believe what I've just said
See, the dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again
Typical
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead.
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help. I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
Can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me
Can't remember what they said
We don't know and we won't know
God damn shit the bed