Recovery is never a straight line, just so long as you are moving in the right direction xx

I think that ‘You look happier’ is one of the best compliments ever, especially after going through rough times. I’m glad you’re getting better and I’m so glad you went to get help when you did. Keep smiling, and keep those people close to you who helped you💗

Eating disorders are absolute hell. They’re so hard to understand if you haven’t gone through it. Wishing you all the best x

My uncle has many mental health problems, and attends group therapy sessions run by mind. It helps him a lot and means he also gets out the house and into town once a week. Please donate guys!

I think I speak for everyone in saying that, if you ever just need a break from everything (even though UKposts wasn't necessarily the whole problem, rest never does any harm) you don't need to say anything or post anything, just don't post. You're such an inspirational person not only getting through all of this, but also sharing it. We live in a society which tells us to maintain a good diet and keep exercising and sleep the same amount every night, and hear hinge are really important. But compared the advice about mental health, which seems to be that we should keep going until we can't any more, it just seems crazy that mental rest isn't valued enough. I hope 2020 is better for you. X

When you said about the car crashes, i get that. I feel like if i dont worry about something then it will happen so i have to worry 24/7 so nothing bad will happen - doesn't really make sense. If im not worrying im panicking that im not worrying.

I feel so bad for you that you feel the need to have a disclaimer at the beginning. It sucks that people always compare situations to their own. One persons bad year is completely situational within their own context.

Eve: my mental health was at rock bottom Also Eve: it was not a vibe Hope you’re doing better now Eve, 2020 is your year 💪🏼❣️

Really proud of you❤️ You’re blasted online and it must be so difficult to feel you have to share these things, and of course you never have to! Despite that, the fact you do share helps other people feel less like they’re alone and in this case actually make a difference with raising money for Mind UK. It’s amazing Eve! I really admire you and if I can make even half as much difference in my life as you have in your time on youtube alone, I would be over the moon❤️ Here’s to a better 2020 xx

dude you explaining disassociation was so on point, it is just the most terrifying thing I have had it for 5 years and no one understood what I was talking about. finally, someone has experienced it and its not me losing my mind . ly eve

Eve I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. I’m so sorry that all of this happened to you this year and that your GP was so dismissive of you, which is horrible. I remember watching your vlog where you talked about your dissociation and really relating to what you were saying as I was also experiencing it at the time. Thank you for sharing this with us and this video will help so many people. I’m so glad I was able to meet you at Empowered by Vee this year because your videos have really helped me find help for my mental health. I hope 2020 brings you nothing but joy because you truly deserve it!

2019 was a hard year for me as well Eve cause I was just continuously stressed about lots of things like my driving test and A- level exams and getting a summer job and now to top it all off my grandad just passed away. My birthday is in 2 days and I don't even feel like celebrating anymore. But I'm so proud of you being brave enough to speak up about it. Hope 2020 will be a better year for both of us xx

Thank you for talking about this. I can’t express how much of a relief it is to hear someone be confident in talking about things with which you feel that you are alone :)

Awe eve! We’re all so proud you made it through the year, and hope you have an amazing 2020 x

i’m so proud of you for posting this video and thank you for raising awareness! ❤️❤️

I’m so proud of everything you’ve overcome this year. Wishing you the best for 2020, you really deserve it x

my heart broke hearing you talk about your experience with the gp, i had exactly the same problem and it sticks with me even now. i still worry that i’m just being dramatic, or ungrateful. sending you so much love ❤️

Yessss a new years resolution video please! And omg, the fundraiser is such a thoughtful idea!

You are so so strong. Well done for speaking about this, there are so many people here for you and I really hope you are okay :) x

This was such a transparent, honest video. Thank you. I'm sorry you went through all that

Oh Eve so happy your feeling better, having had depression and anxiety I totally get how you felt. Wishing you a happy and successful 2020

This is like listening to everything that I've tried yet failed to articulate for the past couple of years. Thank you so much for sharing.

I will always support you. Thank you so much for putting these videos online, it is so helpful for me and many others.

This is so brave to come out and say. I've had so many struggles with my mental health over the years and it took me so long to feel ok talking about it. You should be so proud of yourself Eve! X

Thank you so much for this video. My mental health has been the lowest it’s ever been this year and honestly the last couple months have been so so so difficult and I don’t think I quite realise how bad it is when it’s happening. I relate to so much that you talked about in this video and it’s sort of made me realise that actually I’m not ok and maybe I should get some more help so thank you. I’m so glad you’re starting to recover and feel a bit better and I hope 2020 is good to you! Xx

I'm so proud that you are talking about this. Mental illness is rough but talking about it offers positive change. Thank you so much 💜

Eve I can’t explain how much I related to all of this. My first year at Cambridge was filled with dissociative episodes and depressive periods, it’s such a scary thing to go through and come out of. I think this video is incredibly important because dissociation is rarely spoken of so getting some knowledge out about that will make a huge difference. Big hugs and glad to hear you’re moving forward ❤️

I always love your videos Eve, but this one hit different. Your 2019 sounds just like my 2018, and it gets so much better. The last 10 minutes made me tear up because I relate so fricken much. I understand how difficult it is to explain yourself and this was so brave of you. You continue to inspire me and thousands of others. I love you, keep thriving and looking after yourself xx

I suffered with OCD-related thoughts for over a year before I sought help and got CBT. The night everything came crumbling down was horrible, and I was sick, and from that point on, it was exactly like what you said. Bad thoughts, sad thoughts - everything that wasn’t true was becoming true in my head and it ruined my brain. And it was horrific, and dark. What you said makes so much sense. I didn’t think the CBT changed me, but one day it did, and head started figuring out things again. It’s been over a year since my last CBT session. I still worry about some stuff, I will always need to put extra work in for my brain to process things, but I know it’s okay. You’ve got this Eve, honestly. Life can only get better from here! ✨

I haven't watched the video yet but Eve I swear you're looking prettier and prettier in every video. You look stunning! :) I hope 2020 treats you better love xx

Just finished watched the video and I want to say that I'm so proud of you for getting help and getting to a place where you can talk about this to your viewers. You are so strong Eve and I'm so glad you're doing better and are able to deal with things better. I hope 2020 brings you lots of happiness and everything good. And you are just glowing hun xx

I went through the exact same thing a few years ago, and although mental health problems may never go away, I PROMISE it gets better. It really does in every sense. Learning your limits, your triggers etc helps you to step in the other direction and reach for the stars. Don't be thrown off by dips along the road and don't be ashamed if things get really bad again

I really commend you, not only for filming this video but for putting it out there. I also struggle with mental health issues but so far have not felt able to speak to anyone in person about it. I really resonated with you when you spoke about the car crash thing because I also go through things like that on a daily basis. Thank you so much for uploading this and I hope 2020 is a much better year for you x

I'm so glad that you have been so open with your mental health journey this year, I went through a very similar spiral this year including the lack of eating and it is so nice to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. When I finally went to the doctor (with my friends basically holding my hand to do it), she immediately agreed that i have anxiety and suggested that I go on medication, which has helped so much. Keep taking it one day at a time and celebrate all the little victories with your mental health journey

This video was so relatable. I just came into 2nd year of uni also and when you described the feeling of going back when it’s associated with so much negative things that happened. Could relate to literally 98% of this, and I really hope things get better for you in 2020!💕

This Video has really helped me. I sometimes feel a bit weird, a bit unhappy, a bit lost, a bit like my life is going and I'm just being taken with it not actually realising what is going on! I work a lot (but I love it) and I am always busy so that does not help, and sometimes it all gets too much and I begin to break down but hide it from everyone thinking I am a bit weak or dramatic. This video has opened my eyes and made me be a bit nicer to myself, sometimes things are a bit hard and something things won't be all smiley and rainbows, but that's ok! I am going to keep a diary/journal for a little while, until things get a bit better to allow me to write down my thoughts and feelings and hopefully let them disappear for a while. I am so proud of what you're doing for MIND (I have previously raised money for them) and I believe it is so important to spread awareness, especially as you are an influencer and make sure a difference to young people all across the country! Keep doing you, you are doing great!

Just wanted to say I’m so proud of you for making it through this year and still being so kind and thoughtful despite everything the universe has thrown at you! Never ever give up eve things can and will always get better, there are better days ahead. Keep smiling, sending all my love x

You've grown a lot and will still continue to grow, spiritually. We all have our highs and lows but in our low moments it's best to confront your problems and work through them, which is what you did. Self-reflection is so important and I cannot enunciate how thoughtful you are for uploading this video as I know it was probably really hard to open up about what you've been going through. You are honestly so strong and I hope 2020 brings you more joy and happiness compared to this year :) xx

I have anxiety and depression have since I was 13 years old. Only got a grasp of it this past year. Well done for getting help and support from family and friends thats a big step and is such a scary thing to do. Your very brave. And the fact that your managing mental illnesses is a big deal so give yourself credit for that.

Thank you so much for posting this and well done! Made me (and others I’m sure) realise that I’m not alone and it’s okay not to be okay. You’re such an inspiration 💕 I hope 2020 is your year 💕

You made me cry because I’ve been there. Sending you all the love! You’ve got this. ❤️

Such an inspiration! Honestly you're amazing for who you are and we all love and support you and are thankful for you and for you being so open to us. So incredible... and not even an hour and already £130 raised !! Well done eve Xx

You are a beautiful human doing a great thing talking about problems not everyone would feel able to talk about, honestly good for you ❤️

proud of u for sharing your thoughts with us! i hope 2020 is a better year for you mentally & physically ❤️

The fundraiser is such a brilliant use of your platform 💗

Bless you Eve, honestly this video is SO informative and is going to help so many people realise they’re not alone. Thank you so much for this and I wish happiness for you for 2020.

I’ll watch this video later, but just wanted to say, thank you for sharing your journey. I survived my first year at uni too and it was tough, my mental health was the worst ever and I always compared my uni experience so far, to others which kind of made everything worse. But hearing your story gave me hope and reassurance, I’m not the only one struggling. Lots of love to you eve, I truly wish 2020 will be wonderful, filled with love and happiness for you. ♥️♥️♥️

" hAve YoU trIED mEDitaTIon ?? " some people are the WORST Eve

Eve, you are such a great role model. Thank you for expressing yourself and sharing this with us. We love you x

You’re so incredibly strong and I’m so happy to hear you are doing better :) xx

As someone who struggles with high functioning depression and anxiety this resonates with me. I am so glad that you managed to get help and that you had support through this.

So brave of you to share this. I’ve experienced very similar things whilst at Oxford and in general, and it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone. 2020 will be your year. Thank you x x

this video has been more helpful than i think you realise, you made me realise the way i think and act isn’t normal and i don’t have to feel like this forever. Uni is so amazing but it is the place where i think you feel everything to such an intense level and everything feels so much more overwhelming and isolating. 2020 is the year i’m going to become a happy version of me, forever. Thank you

Watching this video made me realise that I was gradually building up the same thoughts, mannerisms and environment around me from iGCSE onwards (I started uni this year but decided to drop out and start fresh at a different uni next year for a difference course.) You've described it so clearly and it was quite dangerously relatable especially with control. I feel so much less alone or different with how I see and handle the world now; I have always convinced myself that I was born to be like that because of the lifestyle my family has. But now you've given me a lot more hope that it's possible to water them down... and hopefully I'll have a better crack at uni in 2020 Thank you so much for uploading this! 😄

Sending a lot of love, as someone whose struggling a lot with MH I can understand how scary it is. You're so brave for putting this out there, thank you for raising awareness xo

proud of u for getting help, its never easy and you should be so proud of yourself and how far you've come

WE LOVE YOU you strong, powerful queen hehe - may 2020 be filled with many more roller coasters where you are able to enjoy the ride a little more xx

I thought making this video was a very brave thing to do considering all the circumstances. I also think you are a great role model to all people who have or who are suffering from mental health issues and just young people in general. I really hope 2020 is your year, you deserve it xxxx💗

so proud of you - you're an inspiration

This video was so inspiring to watch Eve ❤️I am sorry you had to go through all of that last year❤️I hope 2020 will be a brighter year for you!💕💕

Wishing you the best with the fundraiser and just with it all. I found mindfulness so helpful (went through a similar thing to your car crash analogy) with anxiety.

So proud of you for talking out about this❤️. So strange that we were going through something so similar x

I had a similar experience with my GP at home, it took me 4 years to go back when the same problems had severely deteriorated. I don't know if it's being a teenager, being female, or just an overstretched service, but it was horrible. I'm glad you are in recovery and feel able to share your experience on this platform. It is not easy, but good things will come. Wishing you the best for 2020 x

So appreciative of this video. Any video of someone speaking so mindfully and openly about mental health is absolutely GOLD. But just so you know, it’s actually called “DISSOCIATION” not that it matters that much when you talking about it is gonna help so many people xxxxx

I’m so glad that you are feeling happier and much better now! Thank you for sharing this, I really hope that you continue to get better, please continue to talk about it with your friends and family and people who can help and support you! Thank you for sharing this, I’m so glad that you are out of that hard place ! Please continue to talk with your friends and family and people that are close you and can help! You are doing well and I hope that you continue to get better ❤️! xx

Oof, I feel this in my bones. My mental health has been trash since I was 15 and whoops I’m nearly 23 now 😬 I start uni again in September and I’m declaring that 2020 is the year of me getting back on track and taking the steps I need to ensure I can actually do my best during my degree 🙌

It’s so helpful to hear your experience! I also had a pretty crap year and am having CBT but I don’t really feel it’s working just like you felt. You give me confidence that it can get better xxx

I'm so so so grateful 5o have found your channel, and you've helped me so much. Thank you for keeping going.

Mind UK is such a great charity, one of their centres is right by my house and they literally saved my life. Dealing with a mental health issue/(s) is super tough and I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you because you’re on a very public and judgemental platform. You’re a very strong person Eve ❤️, hopefully 2020 brings you lots of healing, love and hope!

Oh god, this year has been very similar for me. I couldn't have related to it a year ago but now, oh, dear, I really understand what you are saying. Especially about the anxiety that makes your thoughts run and run in circles. For me, my academics were a fuel to the fire, since I had to think so intensely about my work, this intense thinking encompassed my personal issues, it started me on rethinking the entire humanity, the world, everything. It was an absolute hell. Wishing you (and myself) a better 2020.

Thanks for sharing all this. I'm glad this terrible experience broke open into a landslide of good. I'm glad to put my 2019 behind me, too. Maybe my hardest ever. Hoping "there's a good time coming."

Thank you for this - I'm fully in the 'I've had a shit 2019' club so it's nice to feel like I'm not alone. I haven't managed to get help yet but maybe I can make that a new years resolution. Much love x

I experienced something similar when I was doing my a levels in 2018, when everything felt so out of control my eating was one thing I could control. Halfway through my exams I just stopped eating and everything became so difficult. I managed to finish my exams but I couldn’t start eating again, and the whole summer was so tough that I lost 20% of my body weight. I’m doing better now but at stressful times it can still be really hard. Thank you so much for talking about this there really needs to be more awareness about stress-related eating disorders. Being “thin” and losing weight is seen as good in our society and workaholism is becoming so normalised, social media doesn’t help this either so its so good that you are talking about this.

Really resonated with a few things you mentioned in this video. I wouldn't wish anxiety on anyone. Thank you for talking about it, definitely comforting to know you're not alone

I love the fundraiser, I hope we raise loads! (And it's great to have to option to give time rather than money by watching the ads, it helps those of us out who don't have any spare cash!)

I teared up a few times during this video. I'm so sorry for the loss of your family member :( but I'm really glad and happy to see that you're doing better. Sending you lots of love x

Girl you are everything and it honestly breaks my heart that you went through all this. But you made it to the other side and the only way is up or forward or whatever that saying is

This was so brave. Seriously. I experienced the same thing over the same period. I hope that the new year will be much more stable. Everything is going to be alright. x

so so proud of you eve!

Eve I’m happy that you are feeling better and I hope 2020 is kinder to you xx

Thank you for uploading this video Eve! I know that it was hard for you but it's helped me feel less alone as this past year my life has been very hard - it mostly came to a head during my GCSE exams and followed through the summer and into the start of 6th form - and seeing all my friends on social media saying that 2019 was the best year of their lives so far sucks (obviously I am happy for them though). I'm so glad that you got help - I had my first therapy session just last week so I'm hoping it will help me deal with everything that's happened. Thank you again and I hope you have a brilliant new year!!

Immensely brave of you, and so compassionate to use this experience to help others xxxxxxxxx

i’m so sorry about how awful this year was for you. i cant begin to imagine how things must’ve been like. i really hope 2020 treats you better. love u, happy you’re on the mend! 🥺❤️❤️

When I finally go to my appointment I will have been waiting 20 months in total, I was at a crisis point when I asked for help and still had to wait this long for a one to one appointment. It’s so sad and disappointing but I’m so proud of you for everything you’ve done and overcome and are still overcoming. Thank you eve ✨❤️

super proud of you for this gal, can't have been easy to make. sort of hard to watch for me, was like looking in a mirror with some bits - the food stuff, dissociation etc. thank you so much for talking about it - feels so isolating when it isn't especially spoken about. so so glad you got help - as you said many have said already, it's true - you look so much more you and more alive and you absolutely deserve it :) here's a bangin thing i wrote about how dissociation feels when i was in the thick of it :') anyone reading this and resonating - you are absolutely not alone, please share your burdens with someone

We stan a mental health queen ! I still deal with severe depression and anxiety, and you speak about it so well, not dismissive or anything, it's so nice to see others (even if it's incredibly sad to know so many others are struggling) bc it really helps everyone suffering from suffering alone! Anxiety and depression can be so isolating, and with doctors disregarding you as well, it took me a solid 7 years of therapy to get meds for my problems, bc nobody would believe me. This is a big rambly mess of a comment bc it's like 3am here, but the basic gist is that thing captain holt from B99 says "everytime someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more inclusive space"

This is a very inspirational video, you should be proud of the progress that you’ve made in the last year. :) keep on moving forward.

thank you so much for uploading this video!! this has helped so much. i relate so much to this- i was diagnosed with depression my last year of high school, and decided to take a gap year to focus on getting better. although i am definitely feeling better now, i was still super worried about how that would affect me (whether it would dip down again, etc) when i got to college (i'm going to start my first year at oxford!) watching your video has definitely helped so much, i hope you are feeling great this 2020! stay safe x

I’m so glad ur doing better lyyyy

Honestly Eve, this video is on the money. As somebody who had to re-take their final year due to mental health issues, this is the video I wish I had had. I'm glad you're starting to feel more positive and generally feeling better. Its tough to speak out about your mental health sometimes, but in doing so, you are probably helping a lot people. Thank-you :)

Well done Eve for filming this. I've been through something similar and no way could of done what u have with this video. Wishing u a very happy new year and may 2020 brings u peace and happiness. xxx

I've struggled with an eating disorder myself through 2019 and it's one of the hardest things; the struggling in silence, the implicit or explicit judgement from others and whilst there are loads of reasons for ED's mine at least just despising myself so so much. Thank you for your honesty and candid nature throughout, you're such a strong person and deserve to give yourself credit for that. I hope your 2020 is incredible and much kinder to you x

i normally do not comment on videos, but I need say that you are very strong and brave. Mental health is not easy to either treat or even notice and for you to come here, and tell everyone how looking back you see your past self is incredibly inspiring and beautiful. It is not an easy journey but you are incredible!!

my GP literally tells me every time that I seem too 'happy' to be depressed, even after I've had some emergency hospital visits and it's taken soooo long to get a referral to a psych to be diagnosed, idk why GP's are so dismissive especially with uni students, it just worries me bc my gp is the main university one for students :( Good luck with recovery

Omg! You’ve just explained to me how I think. I never realised before but those thoughts you have, I think I get. It almost feels as if I’m dreaming but I feel everything like I fall and a spike goes through my head or I imagine a family member falling down the stairs and they break their neck and you feel it, the sensation the emotions and it’s completely overwhelming. I feel ridiculous saying that because it sounds so stupid but that makes me think about it more like I’m an awful person for saying that, I feel guilty and then try to think of ways to fix it. So I’d avoid that place for the day. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that it really sucks but thank you for sharing because it’s been a lightbulb moment for me xxx

I’m new to your channel so I’m watching this late, but I just wanted to say thank you for being so open about your mental health and using your platform to spread awareness. I went through a breakdown in grad school 20 years ago. Looking back, I’m glad it happened then, because I learned coping skills while in recovery that have made life, stress and even traumatic events easier to deal with later in life. But I did need help to learn those skills, and would encourage anyone reading this who is undergoing mental health issues to seek help, and be persistent even in the face of dismissive GPs.

so much respect to you for making this video ❤️ hope your feeling better x

you are so strong. you should be so proud of yourself.

I can relate so so much. This year I have been struggling with quite a lot of mental health problems, more than ever before. Actually I was literally feeling the same things, just I was never diagnosed. I had those depressive periods, where I would literally hit rock bottom. I was in uni and for example I would spend three days ( around the weekend, cause I had lectures during the week), not going out of my room, a completely mess, confident that nobody loves me and nobody will ever will. Just I would get depressed for no reason or something very stupid will start a depressive episode, for example someone not inviting me somewhere. There were some things in my personal life that just made this worse and worsened the depression and the anxiety. Just awful time. Also I decided to use food as a way to cope with al of my problems and I gained so much weight, this just makes me feel even worse. Not going to comment on the overthinking. But it will be fine, it goes away. Stay strong and I hope 2020 is the best year for you. Also well done for searching for help ❤️that’s the best thing to do, I feel like. This is just an example that everyone struggles and that sometimes the people that seem the strongest, can be in a bad place mentally or in whatever way. Btw when is your birthday? I think we might be sharing a birthday 🎂

Proud of you Eve as a final year uni student I can relate to so much of this!