1. Afraid of failure 2. You limit yourself with "identity" 3. Secretly you don't want do it, you think you should do it

No joke, this might be the most important TED-talk of my life I recently realised that the reason I can't achieve my dreams for years, postponing even simple steps every single day because deep inside I'm so afraid of failure. And it is just an enormous relief to know it's not just my imagination or another excuse, but there actually people like me and I honestly feel like crying as I'm typing this. Thank you so much 😭

Instant gratification also plays a part here, too. When the end result seems too far away, people convince themselves they aren't meant for it so they look for a quick fix and then soon feel lost all over again. Speaking from experience here.

This is me. For the last 14 years I’ve done NOTHING concerning my dreams. I have wasted my life feeling sorry for myself and living for other people. I am so tired of it I am at the point of taking all the risks to get where I want to be.

These are the kind of talks I wished we had in high school

(For future reference) The 3 cognitive distortions : 1) 2:57 "I just can't do it! I don't have what it takes" 2) 5:50 "this is just not who I am" 3) 10:22 "I should do this, I need to do this, *but eh I don't really want to do it though* I should do it" Solutions: 1) remind yourself that it is okay to fail. Learn from the failures and just keep swimming. Effort >> 2) find people who have the same values as you, and who found a way to make things work in a way that doesn't clash with those values. Find a way to do the things you wanna do in a way that aligns with and not clashes with your identity. 3) find your "why", the real reason why you wanna do something. It should be an intrinsic motivation and not a just superficial and external one. Remind yourself of your why to stay motivated

Fail is just an acronym F - irst A - ttempt I - n L - earning

3 reasons you arent doing what u say you will do... Wow i really need this *save to watch latter*

Excellent talk. Reason crowd seemed so quiet is bc most ppl don't like hearing the truth and she hit everything right on the head.

Three main reason 1.deep in our mind we think we can't do it. 2. People like us dont do this because we are highly identified with a false self identity. 3.secretly we don't want it.

Why we don’t do what we say we’ll do: 1. We get lost, distracted, or addicted to what’s more “pleasurable” or “comfortable” than what is important 2. We see “pain” in exerting the effort or we lack the energy required to do the important thing. 3. We don’t care because its not killing us anyway...not yet.

I love her humor and her energy. Definitely needed to hear this.

This crowd. Were they summoned here for jury duty?

So the audience aren't good because: 1) Secretly they don't believe they can be a good audience 2) They don't think they are like people that can be a good audience 3)Being a good audience doesn't interest them enough, if they're honest

Wow wow tough crowd - this woman is funny af and no ones bitting

"At the heart of success is not talent. It's effort." 5:06

Is audience alive? `~` The speaker is so funny and smart. Great talk!

"People like you don't do things like this.." This hits soo hard-😢

Aren't those​ people​ kinda mean​ for​ not​ laughing? She's quite funny.

"We can be anything we want, if we get our head clear and we begin to take steps. And if you're doing those two things, nothing can stop you." 🔥

This is spot-on.. I didn't even know I was doing this! My dream is to become a musical theatre actress and although I am taking singing lessons, I always stop myself and think that I don't have what is required and that I have too little experience. Maybe I should, instead of procrastinating and whining, go out and GET experience, despite my brain telling me to stay home

Boi, UKposts Algorithm knows what Ive been dealing with in my life

The candy crush joke was brilliant as was the rest of her talk. How was there not more laughter...?

The most empowering ted talk clear and well structured

Thanks to Amanda Crowell for this inspiring talk. And also… for making me understand that “heart-centred, helper type, non competitive” people exist and can be successful in this world. Good luck to everybody who’s struggling.

Dang! Who's in this crowd?? Are they even breathing?😐 Good talk!

Its amazing how these 17 minutes have more valuable lessons than I would ever come across in my life

I waited 'til age 65 to exercise regularly at the gym (with a trainer....which costs). I knew that in 15 years I'd fall and break a hip if I didn't start. lol

Amanda, when you get to read this comment: Thank you for articulating the hidden intricacies that have been holding me back. Knowing that I am not the only one definitely helps. What is helping me even more is the realization of being defensive about my failure.

1. Shift your mindset from, "belief that some people have it and you don't," to "your rookie mistakes are just sign paths on the way to success." 2. Shift your mindset from, "People like you (i.e. your identity) don't do things like this," (and therefore you push hard against such behavior), to finding people who do things you want to do and mimmick them. 3. Shift your mindset from, "secretly you don't want to do it, you just think you SHOULD do it because the people you emulate to do it," to drawing a straight bright-line from your long-term dreams (e.g. buying a house, sitting with your children by a crackling fire) to the desired behavior instead of motivation such as becoming a wealthy, admired, 'cool' person. **If the work you want to do is hard, there WILL be urges in the moment to quit, and it is INTRINSIC INTEREST that keeps you focused on the actions you need to take. You have to build out the INTRINSIC INTEREST.**

I keep on nodding the whole time while listening to her. Seriously, i will watch this over and over again esp when i feel like taking the defensive failure path again

I don’t WANT to be a lawyer but I think that I should want to and it is important to my future.

Honestly if people just spent some time alone and really look deep within themselves, they’d figure out what actually makes them happy. We all desire happiness; but the ingredients may differ, choose your preferences in life wisely.

It is so satisfying to watch knowing that you are not alone. It's actually happens to everyone and it's perfectly normal.

I got here with no expectations are at all and it turned out to be one of the best talks I've ever seen.

This was a very good Ted talk. I always have struggled to keep up with goals. Now that I’ve gotten good advice I’m going to write down the steps I will take to accomplish my goals. I will allow myself to try what I want to do, and not be afraid of failure. I will take it as an opportunity to grow and learn from it. I will not do things that other people do just to be cool. I will do what I find interesting and socialize with people that have similar interests and have done things that I would like to learn how to do. I will think about the reason why I want to do these goals. Is it for people to admire me? Or is it because I have a dream of doing this and I’m very interested in it. I will take time to research my interests, and if I’m not very interested for the right reasons, I will just not do it.

Watched this for the first time in the first week of january. I'll keep coming back every time I lose my motivation. This helps me a lot. 2-02/21/22

Once you have successfully managed to overcome these cognitive distorsions, something interesting happens to you. When you go off the beaten track and know deep in your gut that it's the right way to go, you will have to face criticism from people who claim to know better than you. Well, never ever listen to those who say you can not do it. Do what your heart says is right. Some people desperately want others to fail to feel better about themselves. You are not the problem, they are. You don't owe them anything. Instead, you should embrace your uniqueness and reach the dreams that you so desperately want to reach because you DESERVE to live a happy life. Always remember that we were born here on Earth to feel joy. Yes, the grind can be strenuous but your future self is there already thanking you for all the efforts you've put into reaching your goals. And I along many other people will be there, standing in awe over what you have accomplished to change your life for the better.

I think these things a lot. It holds me back. The fear of failure or that it isn't me or isn't meant for me is just all in the mind. Why do we do these things to hold ourselves back? Little by little, we could be anywhere we wanted just by taking the simple steps and allowing ourselves to fail and to learn and to grow.

U better write a book soon coz ur words can change lots of what we perceive as human@

Doing things badly in the first few times and then witnessing yourself making progress are always much more exciting than doing it right in the first place

The three situations she mentioned: exercising, networking and budgetting, are exactly the things I kept telling myself I'd do. Haha

I appreciate this talk because not only does she shed light on the reasons for our defensive failure, but offers the alternative mindsets that lead to success. At the end of the video, I'm not left wondering, "What am I going to do about it?"

this is now my favorite ted-talk. sometimes i have dreams, sometimes none. it's confusing when you don't have a strong grip of who you actually are and who you actually want to be. because you often mistook it for who people expect you to be.

At this very moment, after watching this, I want to put the steps in place and start on the right path to realize my intrinsic true life fulfilling purpose HOWEVER there are so many layers (one example, every day life in 2021 living pandemic/endemic life) between clear thinking and reaching into your weary head on what you value and care for most in the world, becomes so daunting you stay paralyzed and watch videos on how to. I need a how to, how to, video.

just loved her attitude and confidence 👏👏 well done girl 👍

1 defensive failure, Carol dweck growth mindset 2 identity fracturing, Erik Erickson Do identity cohesion 3 no intrinsic value

“To the ones who are there for me & who always have my back…… everything you are to me is everything I lack.” - BM TeamWork and finding the right ones to surround yourself with is major also because misery loves company and they’ll continue to feed your appetite of self gratification with false hope and accomplishments. Keep striving for greatness & stop settling for less than you deserve.

One reason I found social media such as UKposts and Instagram to be useful is that it exposed me to examples of success in fields I’m interested in who look like me or had similar circumstances to me which would’ve been hard to find otherwise in my small town and small circle of friends.

Thank you so much for this talk. Inspiring

One of the reasons that we are lazy we don't want to take initiative for any positive change. Perhaps it is deep rooted habit of our mind. Secondly we are not clear in our mind. What to do. Thirds may be we wish to many things to be done at no cost of time and hard work. It maybe in my opinion. 🙏💕

Amanda Crowell, that was a great talk. Thank you. Sorry your audience was so flat. I've been having issues with procrastination, even though I've been an achiever...PhD scientist and composer, and a seeker of what is this life. My hunch is that grief, as well as your 3 potent points, is at the heart. I am going to focus on what you taught. Also, I've been geeking out on a wonderful podcast series by Stanford neurobiologist prof, Andrew Huberman. He spoke of the mindset research also

defensive failure: protecting yourself from feeling possible failure, which is also failure because you end up not doing it at all. 1. you think that you can’t do it and that some people have the talent or genetic to do it whereas you don’t. 2. you think people like you don’t do things like this. you limit yourself with identity. you need to find people who have traits that you desire. 3. you don’t want to do it. you feel like you have to do it. you value it for the wrong reasons.

Wonderful speech. Thank you 🎉

She read me without even seeing me. Great talk ! Really helped me.

If you believe it you can do it. Believe you can and you are half way there😌💪💪💪👍 This woman's talk is very strong and she is very funny thats why I want to watch this talk every day.

What a terrible crowd. She’s absolutely delightful, a humorous and insightful speaker.

No joke I procrastinated watching this video for almost a year

I appreciate with whole my heart the person who funded Tedx talk. I have learned so many things through this stage. The people who deliver speeches the deliver the nectar of their experiences. I am so glad we have tedx talks in UKposts.

what's with the crowd?? Great talk Amanda. I hope you see this!

I believe in myself but I am easily distracted. I can push myself physically but mentally I rather just do what's easy. Thank you for this, today I will post another UKposts video.

this is the most important video that i've ever watch in my entire life thankyou very much for this, i really mean it thankyou

1.find mischievous people, people who wanna be video creators, people who wanna be entertainers 2. Be interested in what you wanna do read news updates changes history everything about the space 3.Instead of defensive failure we get to Productive failure 4. Stages in Identity Crisis - Identity Fracturing and Identity Cohesion

Truly a lot of the Tedx talks have been so much better than the actual Ted talks lately. Good vod!

Great talk. Audience really is tough on her. Though, she rock it like true professional!

All who are blaming the audience (oddly 10 - 15 people) for being silent - this is most likely a post-lunch session and the hall as shown @ 5:56 is sufficiently dark to set in a drowsy mood. At least, the video got us, the virtual audience, to see & listen to this very good speaker on our own ambiance.

This Ted Talk is really great. And If I start doing what I wanted to do from years, I'll come back here.

Awesome talk! Thank you for sharing this info and your story. 💪🏽

Best talk I've listened to so far. I found it very applicable

This is what I'm doing rn. Thank you for letting me know what it is. This is a good talk. Hope a lot more people would find this.

Thank you so much for this. I related to a lot in here, and I’ve been in a constant cycle of not being motivated enough to accomplish my goals. This gave me a lot of closure. I appreciate you.

This talk hits the nail on the head for me👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. Now, let me trade in defensive failure for active, action oriented failure😀😀 with a smidgen of progress thrown in over time!!!

Hands down the best talk I have ever listened to and was so so so so much relatable.

Watching this at 5.00 and about to cry. This is me right now. I want to change mindset and my life

I feel like I can’t get things done bc I have to many things to get done- but I don’t take baby steps in life which is what I’m going to work on. Thank you for a great talk.

An Amazing talk! The humor feels inauthentic but her words convey her message very clearly. This talk prompted me to look within myself and reflect on the half truths I've been convincing myself of. Also those hand motions are the most articulate I've ever seen. Bravo!

One of the BEST Ted Talks! Just WOW!!

I related to every word of her speech , got my lesson , and must say good JOB !! and the audience is really heart centered defensive type .

I watched this because I am keep saying that I will learn programming, tomorrow - next week - next weekend - next holiday and so on. I will write all the reasons why I want to learn programming and remind myself all the time when I need to. Thank you.

Great conclusion. I'm in all 3 reasons. Believe I can make it too to stop the three mindset blocks.

Wow! Makes a lot of sense. I find this very informative and helpful.

This video has changed my life. I have been telling myself to work out for months now and I just found out I never wanted to do it. Fitness moves and workouts were not for me so I found out what I'm passionate about which is boxing. I did a boxing workout right after I watched this video, been trying to get out of bed for months...

Great speech! I really enjoy listening to TED talks. There are many inspirational stories and amazing ideas that are applicable. Thank you guys for sharing that with us! :)

Great talk, definitely gave me something to think about ❤️❤️

This quite informative and you did a great job bringing the reasons people don't go far with the things they really wish to do.Well done!!

Thank you for sharing your hard-won lessons with us. It resonated powerfully with me. I hope all those struggling with one or all of these mindset blocks may take one step toward the person you want to be.

I am literally devastated right now cuz i just realised i have all 3 of them problem. But i will come out of it, I PROMISE MYSELF🥺🥺

Such a great presentation - well done and very clearly articulated. I was motivated after hearing it and plan on watching it many more times...and sharing!!

I’m glad I have this in middle school, because some people don’t have these resources.

Just oration wise she is my favorite ever ted speaker!!!

Exactly what I need today. It talks the reality of me.

I truly loved your message thank you it has really made a difference and impact in my life

The talk that reveals the actual reasons why we procrastinate or avoid doing things that are important for our GROWTH. This is one of the best TED Talks I have watched. I can't thank her and TED enough for bringing this to me... This is exactly what I needed to cure myself of procrastination... I am so grateful to TED and Amanda Crowell

i agree with everything here, i totally felt many of the negative things in here. thankfully i'm not completely worthless and willing to do things

One of the best, eye opening, amazing talk I heard and loved and was engaged throughout in listening!

The best Ted talk i ever watched !! She answered a lot of my questions which helped a lot

This is just what I needed to hear, right down to the running. I’ve started running but keep stopping, because I keep telling myself what’s the point I’m no good. So true in many areas of life

I am particularly attracted with one sentence that success lies not in talent but rather efforts.

This was all I needed to listen to. Thank you so much for bringing this up.

I have learned valuable things from Ted videos than from school or college combined.