Whenever fellow men think they just have a “quick temper” or they’re “extremely jealous”... they better check themselves.

The emptiness and boredom are I think the worst symptoms for me as they lead to aggression and self medication through addiction.

My father once directly told me that sometime in his teens he started to feel that he did not know who he was. He Used those words exactly, described it as feeling empty. I do not know if he did his own research but he was not in therapy, and we did not talk about personality disorders specifically ever, he jsut typically turns everyone around him into his personal therapist. He has had 4 mental breakdowns in my lifetime (im 20). He was almost diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic in one of them to show how insane he actually is when these happen. In these states he is completely disconnected from reality, more then usual. I can remember him beleiving my brother was the anti-chrit who would end the world, my mom was the baphomet, he also completely stopped eating because he 'did not deserve food'. Other then that, when he was 'sane', it was constant rage, he would go into fits of suicidal ideation or berating one of us and then snap out of it, act like he didnt remember it, sometimes even cry afterwards in remorse. To this day he claims he does not remember treating us the way he did. Either that or he is just lying. He is the most pessemistic and pathetic man I know. I know thats bad to say about your father, but he idolizes me as if I am god, while putting himself down constantly. He also tries to compete with me or follow me into my new field I started 2 years ago, as if I am his goal post. Most of my conversations with him are him essentially begging me to be his father, while simutaniously acting like a weak pathetic child. You want to help him but it doesnt matter what yo say he never changes. It drives me crazy. He is the last person id go to for advice because his view of relaity is warped completely. He is the lack of a father, as mean as it is to say, all he offered was a roof over my head, the bare minimum, my only discipline was being scared of him, and my only lesson in life was that commitment and work makes you suicidal and abusive to your family. He simply makes my life worse. Dont know if he is borderline, manic-depressive, narcissistic, or whatever hes messed up. Do not have kids with the mentally ill.

From my personal experience, I've met more avoidant women who give me space, and more hyper-emotional men who have even gone so far as to stalk. So personally it feels really strange this disorder is given more to women.

I was diagnosed with this. (I'm a guy). Before all that, I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder but, the symptoms never really fit for me. So, does anyone deal with bad anxiety? I feel on edge pretty much all of the time. Being around people sends it to overdrive. (The anger towards myself, follows soon after) Pushing people away in relationships is a big one for me. Everything's great for a short time then, it all falls apart. Just want to see if any guys can relate to this.

I love listening to your "scientifically informed" approach... breath of fresh air in a UKposts area bombarded with "opinion and disinformation". Thank you!!

My ex had BPD (while we were dating, he thought it was CPTSD). It was absolutely crazy trying to have a relationship with him. He was sweet and very attractive, but also needy, manipulative, spiteful, impulsive, chronically negative and would lash out over literally nothing. I broke up with him when I realized how difficult it would be to have a child and normal / healthy family life with him. I would have to go to great lengths to protect the child from his influence.

Finding another youtuber that is as professional as our Dr. Todd Grande is utopia at it’s finest.

I got diagnosed last December with BPD and BD1, I’m 22 and I pretty much knew that something was wrong since my early teenage years; went through manic and severe depressive episodes, substance abuse, mutilation, increased libido but also grandiose and narcissistic traits: my mind is a party 🥳

I found DBT the only tool to help me live with myself. Partook in the group 3 times & carried my workbook with me for at least a year because I seriously wanted to get better. Resistance = suffering. Commitment paid off, I can breath again.

My mother believed I had BPD at 17 observing and living with me and was told I didn't by mental health clinicians. Back than there was that stat it's found more in females than males, even back than I thought that was flawed. So I looked elsewhere for answers/solutions. Years later after much more damage I got diagnosed with BPD.

You're extremely well spoken and intelligent. Thank you for your expertise and invaluable insight on these mental health topics.

My late father had it, his mother, grandma, most definitely did (according to one of my therapists). Dad told me a lot of experiences 8 year olds should never hear about. He was unrepentant, cruel, blamed everyone, died with no friends, emotionally & verbally abusive.....I could go on and on. This was most of my childhood experience btw, and twenty years of therapy are just beginning to show progress. Let’s just say the rest of my family and myself do not miss him in the slightest and never speak of his existence ever. He had severe narcissistic traits as well and my poor mother most definitely has ptsd. what a waste of life and horrific destruction of a family because of one toxic human being couldn’t admit he needed help.

Thank you for reading comments and answering people's questions in video format. Myself, like alot of people, are gaining valuable insights into things we struggle with everyday. It provides knowledge and a sense of comfort to know that you're not the only one fighting it. Thanks again.

This is one of the best, most detailed, and engaging videos I've seen about this disorder. I appreciate how clear you were I did not feel attacked or anythin negative and I think that's very important when it comes to talking about these types of disorders

Dr. Grande, I am so appreciative that you've taken this issue head on! There is a dearth of information about men and BPD, and I hope that you can continue to lead the conversation on this. I am not aware of a significant channel highlighting or content creator that is with or of a male with BPD. I found your conversations with Sherena (RecoveryMum) very helpful, and I also enjoy her channel. If you were to mirror the conversations you've done with her with a male counterpart, it would be extremely insightful. Additionally, if you were able to incorporate a 3 way conversation, I think it would add tremendous value to the community because as far as I know, nobody has done this. You have a great opportunity to take some leadership on this topic, and I hope you'll continue to address it with the careful research and thoughtful presentation you put into every piece of content you create.

My first exposure to BPD involved a male friend. I believe he also had NPD, but his BPD was more pronounced. That got me learning about Cluster B personality disorders and other personality disorders. I realized that I had more than one personality-disordered person in my circle! Of course, I've been going no contact with all of them for a long time-permanently. I totally agree that women are overdiagnosed with BPD, while men are underdiagnosed.

You explain concepts so well!! Keep these videos coming!! I drop whatever I am doing whenever you upload 🤓💜

I love the common sense, exploration and dispelling of misinformation in this channel! Social media and the internet have become huge platforms for misinformation that is presented as credible. I totally feel at home here. I have a two and half hr drive back home today and I shall be listening all the way - great thinking time! On a side note, Dr Grande, could you please do something on channels such as DissociaDID as a follow-up on your DID episodes? I feel very empathetic towards the channel, but also extremely conflicted, as what is presented is NOT DID. I would be very interested in gaining some more insight into this! Cheers!

I like how Dr. Todd explains the mysteries of the mind without being at all pretentious, with loads of patience and clarity. cheers😊

Dr.Grande thank you so much for being so precise, and not giving false information for personal gain.🙏

I love your videos! They're very unbiased. I was wondering if you could do a video like this but on women with antisocial personality disorder. Thanks for the great content!

100% agree about the shortage of treatment resources for BPD, irrespective of gender. Thanks for such an informative video.

Spot on, Dr Grande. Thank you for the fantastic analysis. Inspired by this and other videos of yours,I have a suggestion for a video: how different personality disorders clusters (A, B and C) overlap more frequently.

I don't know if i have BPD, i have a lot of symptoms, i'm a male, my life is a total mess, I have anxiety so that makes it worse, i always felt that i was different from everyone else but just in personality, i thought that was normal, i never thought i had a mental disorder, i tend to take things very lightly, i have the same attitude with everything in my life, i don't like commitments or routines either, for some reason i like to feel different from everyone else, i like to be a rebel, i've never taken work or school seriously, i like to rely on talent alone, if i don't have talent for something or if i'm not good naturally i leave it, and if i'm good on a job i'm not safe either, i am a mess with my emotions, i can get along with people one moment and the other if they do something that i don't like and i get extremely mad or sad, to the point of crying, i've even cried in school and in jobs, but i tend to hide it always, and sometimes they aren't even things that i should get mad about, sometimes just seeing someone act a certain way towards others, and not being mean or anything, can bring me to tears, i know it sounds crazy and it actually is, i'm very impulsive too and that has gotten me into alcohol and drug addiction, i've cut my arm like 3 times while drunk, i'm quite self destructive, and i tend to manipulate people without even noticing, and without any purpose whatsoever, playing with their feelings, i don't know why i do it, but what i do know is that i feel like my life is missing something, it's not wealth or fame or a family or love or whatever normal people want in life, i see all of that as boring, it's almost like i want something that doesn't exist

Very helpful video which answered my questions regarding BPD & comorbidity. Thank you! ♥️✌🏽

thanks Dr. Todd. I enjoy your knowledge.

Absolutely fascinating Dr Grande!! Thank you for fueling our minds!! 🐛 📚 🦋

Thank you. I am grateful. You explain things in a way I can understand a bit better. good going

I once wrote a letter to the editor of an APA newsletter arguing that since only women were diagnosed with BPD, the disorder was physiological and should be removed from the DSM-IV. Very pleased to see that improvement has been made since that time. Very impressed that the first place Dr. Grande went was straight to potential confounding variables. Dr. Grande is evidence that belies my despair that clinical psychologists diagnose by throwing darts at a DSM-V pinned to the wall.

I believe my daughter was a Borderline wrongfully diagnosed repeatedly and now I get to go through it all over again raising her son . I suppose there are differences but I see SO many similarities ! It is what has pushed me to try to get him the right treatment . Which is next to impossible . We are struggling every day as I watch this . Thank you it made a lot of sense .

i wish people would talk about bpd in men more. My exboyfreind had bpd and i had no idea until years later

Thank you Dr G for pointing out the false “differences”. It is so important to see commonalities, especially in mental health presentations. …. If only to reduce isolation in sufferers.

Thank you! So helpful as a clinician!

10:54 I think I'll have to subscribe because this dialogue in very thought provoking. I like the way Dr. Todd Grande engages the audience.

The short answer is yes. I have it and it completely sucks

I love your pragmatism and analytical approach. I appreciate your analytical and fair assessment in your videos, and looking at a problem from many sides.

Thank u Dr Todd, very informative and helpful perspective and information.

You are a blessing!!! Thank you for making these!!!

Could you do a video about healthy romantic relationships with those with BPD (specifically, what a partner can do to help and keep in mind to avoid hurting both parties)? Or direct me to a video about this? I have a pretty healthy relationship with my bf of two years with it but I'm always interested in learning more about it and ways I can help him. I've found that knowing more about BPD has helped me a lot when he gets little anger spikes (he just gets quiet and a little snappy), because now I know that when it happens it's almost certainly not my fault and it's just something he has to work through on his own.

Hello Doctor.. Thank you for this information 🙏🏻

What a good representation. Thank you for helping our bpd man and woman.its a compliment. I felt better listening to these advices . Really really appreciated it doctor.

Really great channel.I like watching your videos in order to have a better picture on my own emotional difficulties .Thank you for that

i was recently diagnosed with bpd & i'm just trying to understand it more. thank you dr. grande for your help & education, i appreciate you.

Yes! Thank you! You’re the best, Dr. Grande!

Phenomenal video. The best yet! Scientific rigor is no guarantee! I am definitely gonna have my graduate student watch this!

Thank you for putting this extensive & very well informed video together. If there were more Doctors like yourself, perhaps I could find one that would be worth talking to, sadly it's been close to 30 years since I found a proper therapist, that I could actually trust, & that seemed to be honest & genuinely concerned to help. I suppose this doesn't help my BPD, feels like it would more re-enforce it, then anything.

Thank you for your videos, they're helpful. I have not been diagnosed with BPD because my therapist insists that my treatment would be the same whether or not I have it (and we don't want to waste our sessions on diagnosis rather than treatment). It was interesting to see your video stating that 56% of BPD partners have a personality disorder: I've had an extremely long relationship with one person with NPD, and a shorter relationship with someone who has ADHD and was heavily into alcoholism + drug abuse. (The latter mentioned person is now sober.) It's obvious that my behaviours/brain chemistry is attracting others with... Exceptional patterns.

Both myself and my ex have BDP. One of us was more severe than the other and also our (up to) 9 criteria presented differently. I also think there were other disorders occurring alongside. Its so complicated, im not surprised people are either not diagnosed or misdiagnosed.

A very interesting discussion about gender differences in this diagnosis. I’m a retired mental health nurse and I can remember commenting to the team that I worked with that in the 6 years I worked there, I hadn’t seen a single case of a male diagnosed with BPD and yet we encountered many females with that diagnosis. I knew that couldn’t be right. Personally I have known one male that I would say met most of the criteria for a diagnosis of BPD and he was my father. The mood swings were something to behold - it was like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, you never knew who you were dealing with. He was extremely paranoid, especially towards his family but it applied to everyone really. He had a history of unstable relationships that followed a pattern - they started with idealistic views of the new ‘friendship’ but quickly it would turn into fault finding and it always ended with the inevitable falling out. He was the same with my mother except for the fact that he couldn’t bare it after the fall out because she’d give him the silent treatment, and he experienced this as abandonment. Many of his relationships ended with abandonment which must have exacerbated his PD and probably explains why he was impulsive and he had major addictions to alcohol and gambling.

How do you feel about the ICD-11 dimensional approach to personality disorders as opposed to a categorical approach? Do you think it will gain patients? Really appreciate the content!

This an excellent video. It was informative, intellectually rigorous and responsible while remaining accessible and friendly for non professional viewers. And I think it is helpful for those who are male BPD and their families/friends. Thank you very much.

Thanks for another great video Dr. Grande 😃🇳🇱

Amazing points and informations. Thank you

This is interesting. I'm diagnosed BPD but my new therapist thinks it's bipolar II. But she told me, based on what I've said about my husband, that HE has BPD instead. And it makes sooo much sense. However I am quick to anger (especially during a manic phase) but he never expresses anger, or much feelings at all actually besides excitement. That's the only thing I need to figure out, is why he's so emotionally blocked off. I can't ever tell if something bothers him.

I live in UK am under a agency called merseycare I have bpd am. 54 and have been under the above agency for over a decade no therapy it kills me each day I wake, I get alot from such talks thank you

Thanks! An excellent explanation.

Almost 2 a.m. here and... research indicates that Dr. Grande helps with sleeplessness. 😊 Thank you very much for entertaining us. ❤ I'm a bit biased regarding tonight's topic as I don't think that BPD is a good category in the first place. I think of it as a kind of modern Rohrschach-Inkblot test. Everybody sees something different in it. Therefore it's no wonder that there are gender issues, too. I know, there are people in this world who think this category explains everything in their lives soooo well, while I think, everybody is borderline, when he or she is a little bit drunk. Gender issues? - just one more case against using it. Good night and sleep well everyone. 🌛✨

Excellent info. IMO besides aggression, I see very little difference between BPD presentation in male/female

Could you discuss the overlap between BPD and Schizoaffective Disorder? How they affect each other, if at al; how to distinguish between the two, or how to know which disorder is causing specific issues, if possible.

I have just been stuck with not being checked out due to irrational fear of others knowing that I got checked out. It's been 4 years since with these thoughts. I took an online personality disorder test on 7/31/19 (screenshotted the test and results) and my results were: Paranoid Personality Disorder - 82 Schizoid Personality Disorder - 89 Schizotypal Personality Disorder - 86 AntiSocial Personality Disorder - 68 Borderline Personality Disorder - 94 Histrionic Personality Disorder - 81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder - 78 Avoidant Personality Disorder - 100 Dependent Personality Disorder - 63 Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - 94 I know that these results are not from an official diagnostic test but when I saw that I got a 10 possible personality disorders I felt bummed out that day. I got a unintentional 10/10 on a test that involves personality disorders and I still feel uneasy about being checked out because I know for a fact there a multitude of things different about me to the point where I feel like in some way it would be a wasted effort to get checked out because I already have the insight of a multiplicity of things (I don't want to use "wrong") different about me to the point where people (family, strangers, customers at my retail job) all don't want a part of me. Another reason I don't want to get checked out now is because I would rather be unchecked and have people not care, than to be checkout and for people to suddenly care; but for all I know it will still be the same. I am venting and rambling a bit but the thing is that now, I recently became more unhinged and starting to hear things. I'll summarize, I am unhinged because I have overheard my mom's boyfriend's son saying things that he done to my half sister and my mentality shifted from whatever it was before to a blistering obliterating rage which I have suppressed because my retaliation would have consequences that not even I would not go through, this has been going on for the past week. But because of me overhearing him I became a-tuned to overhearing voices now, but the scary thing to me is that sometime I hear voices in a skeptical way. For example after a few days of overhearing him and due to the walls in the house having sound cancellation like paper, he overhears me on my computer and talks shit. I don't mind him talking shit I would take that everyday other than hearing the shit he said to what he did to my sister once, regardless now I hear customers talking shit when I work at retail, I don't put much thought into it. I go on night walks very late from when I get home from work at 9pm and keep on walking sometimes till as late as 2-3am, but the thing is now I hear people talking shit in their cars now and it is exacerbated when drivers are consistently flashing, strobing or exclusively having the headlights on when I walk. It in some way gives me a bit of confirmation bias of them talking shit but I shouldn't be hearing them in the car, when I was home and heard the son talking shit about me but my mom comes to my room to talk to me and I tell her I hear him, she checks, comes back and tells me he left to school he is not here. That was the day I feel sliced in half, I do hear things that are real and not real, my new problem now is to tell the difference of the two. It's easy when you are face to face to someone but when they have their backed turned, in another room, aisle, or even car; I doubt if it's people talking shit or my consciousness, higher being, something mentally or metaphysically talking to me at this point. I understand it can be in some cases both but I always come back to if it's real or not, I do not care too much, I try to be indifferent if people do talk shit because I always felt outcasted and vilified anyway wouldn't make much of a difference anyway; I am more concerned to know if the comments they made are real or not. In some cases of weird and odd luck in my life it feels as if The Truman Show delusion has got to me finally. I am not gone completely but I am living a life with crutches on crutches to the point where I do doubt living, it's not like I have been to involved in life, relationships with family, few friends, and people in general anyway. I've been disconnected, that's all I know; if I want to connect, I just contemplate and deliberate by myself and go over and over the times where it just didn't happen; it feels doubtful at best to anyhow. No one wants to spend time with the loner, with subpar looks, with a nihilistic pessimistic mentality and either a forced bland personality because I am a degenerate or my authentic degenerate lackluster self. Since I am worthless in some sense there is a dissipation of my will to live, but stranger smiles, neutral faces, and even cars not high-beaming keep me going. As an introvert, INTP, virgin being born on 1-12-00 10:11am, being a coomer for 14 years, raised fatherless and with my multitude of self diagnostics of mental instability such as the 10 personality disorders above, dark triad, sociopath, possibly psychopath, and so on; I try to make sense of the madness within myself and the world and want to bring good but that idea is at a tug of war with my ideal idea of my hedonism that I want because I have the opposite, that emptiness, it needs filling. Either filled with good or bad, but in a contradictory way both. I always had the idea that I am a walking paradoxical oxymoronic contradiction, in some ways maybe then. I'll end off and say that I plan for risky and radical actions for the end of this year to hopefully bring my life anew. Also kinda hyped about the Saturn Conjunct Pluto on 1-12-20 maybe that will be in my favor too. If anyone has made it this far, thank you; your an amazing human, wish you the best for your life and your descendants.

I truly believe I have BPD. I was diagnosed with bipolar but I do not believe the psychiatrist really delved into all the symptoms associated- I was never asked questions related to the system criteria. It could have saved me years of useless medications and frustration. The more I learn, the more I gain insight. I think insight is a huge part of getting better. I recognize that when I'm stressed that I become very angry and lash out: it's like a sudden switch. I believe my son suffers from this too- but he's at an age where he sees a mental health disorders as stereotypically bad. It's impacted his ability to maintain a job and relationships. I've sent him some of Dr. Grande's videos and told him that I believe I have it and that my dad did as well. He committed suicide after my mom left and could never cope. His moods vacillated and he met all these symptom criteria. He was put on so many medications and had numerous ECT treatments in the 70s and 80s- none of it worked. I pray that my son will gain insight and make the change.

Always back up your opinions with studies and research. That is the way of a scientist!

I’ve been waiting for this one!!

Dad been diagnosed with BPD. He had a cutting tool in his tool box and would always tell me he had cut himself moving sheets of roofing when plumbing. He also has a glass eye from a gun 'accident' when he was 15. He was explosive when his plans did not go according to his plan. Dr. Grade he was locked under the house when he was little for up five days without even a blanket in a small room. And his sister I think my aunt has NPD (Trump styled NPD). Mum is diagnosed with NPD. I seen him not remember who he is. Thank you Dr. Grande.

All of these videos are well thought out and informative 👍

I've been diagnosed since I was 13 with BPD and I'm a male it's kind of tough explaining it to people but I am grateful I had a good doctor

I have BPD apparently. I do have identity disturbance, dissociation and relationships that are in a state of flux, but I can completely control my temper and push it deep down. So I definitely have many traits, but not anger problems. I do have emotional disregulation but people dont get to see it

Thanks for addressing this...because of the gender bias that can be present when diagnosing, I fear that people like myself may not get the treatment that they need to improve and get better. After 16 years of struggling with these issues, I finally suspect comorbid NPD and BPD but keep getting diagnosed with MDD, ADHD, generalized anxiety...so far my treatment hasn't been very effective and I suspect the gender bias you mention on this video may be the reason why. I'm a member of the lgbt community as well...I wonder how many gay males are diagnosed with BPD given that they may have endured a lot of bullying and/or trauma while growing up. Idk, just food for thought. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on this in this video!

I'm 62, male and I have it. Of course I got the bipolar II dx first. Trouble is, my mood swings are hour by hour, not weeks or months long, unless you want to count major depressive episodes. Therapist sees mood swings and automatically assumes bipolar. I don't even think bipolar II exists, but that's for another post. I got my bipolar II dx due to presenting with a massively triggered frustration freakout brought on from losing my patience with my control freak/slightly schizophrenic wife. How that was construed as bipolar is anybody's guess. The truly frustrating part is this happens ALL the time.

Thank you. Very Informative

Under-diagnosis is truly an issue, but not as much as virtual void of seeking help because the, quite rational in this case, fear of ridicule, loss, and abandonment. It's a sad fact that males with a mental health issue, physical disability, or general weakness, are commonly discarded by people, women specifically, and more generally society.... Perhaps there are far more BPD males than females....

I think ive felt all the BPD behaviors and now that im a year sober all most all the behaviours left along with the feelings. They slowly left.

13:05 that's why i like dr Grande. Common sense and reason. TY doc

I think my fiance has BPD traits--as well as his diagnosed TBI and PTSD. This can be very challenging. On the one hand he's brilliant, on the other hand in men BPD traits tend to manifest as anger and narcissistic Tendencies. This is true of him. When he's not engaging in these things he's very loving and empathetic and insightful and a deep person, also playful and wonderfully creative. But the TBI (traumatic brain injury), PTSD, and the Borderline traits, plus narcissistic tendencies make it very hard. Thankfully he responded to my urging him to get back on medication and find more relevant and effective therapy. But it's three steps forward then one alarming big step back. Were it not for the effective medication and the very great therapist he found, our relationship probably wouldn't have survived, which would have been tragic, because we love each other very dearly.

Hey Dr Grande, love you're content! I'm curious about what I would describe as pathological cynicism, is this a possible symptom of borderline or something else? I recently dated a man who has many of the symptoms of BPD and was severely abused in childhood, he also had the most cynical and negative response or outlook to almost everything he encountered in his life, apart from when he was idealising someone/thing. Could you do a video about highly cynical people? Where this trait might stem from, and what a partener can do to help someone with this trait rather than feeling defeated, hopeless and triggering defensiveness in the other. Thank you!

Good point about including references to actual, but irrelevant, research papers and the reluctance to challenge ‘professionals’

I really enjoyed this video. It states that there probably is not that big of a difference (or at least shouldn`t be..) in gender characteristics in BPD diagnoses. Which is actually reliving to know, because males often tend to get the violent label a lot more. Also the video seems to state that of be more aware of references used in Internet posts on the subject. Which is very good information.

Dear Dr. Grande, thank you so much for this video. You're pointing out something that really makes me furious and that is a serious problem, namely the fact that so many clinicians (even some with a channel on this platform whose names I don't want to mention) call BPD things like a "typically female form of narcissism" or such. It's about time we took off our gender-colored glasses and look at mental disorders as what they are: existing impediments to the lives of far too many.

Great discussion, I follow topics r/t personality disorders because I feel too many clinicians avoid diagnosing them, which leads to ineffective or partially effective treatment, which in my opinion is sloppy practice. I think a couple reasons BPD may slip under the radar more often in males, as discussed in the video, are: (a) implicit bias on the part of the clinician, and (2) because BPD may present overshadowed by other comorbidities in the initial presentation (e.g. NPD, APD, SUD). The way I have started to think about PDs is that often require significant time - not just time to treat, but time to really understand, differentiate, and diagnose properly. A person might strike me has having a lot of Cluster B tendencies, and I worry less about fitting the person to a diagnosis than I do allowing enough time to really see what the patient's baseline is, and how impairing the symptoms are.

Thanks for these videos - they’re life-saving.

I love your video! I myself am looking into my own soul. At this time in my life, I have been able to sit back and look at my life with sort of a “monocle”. I believe that I as a Women may have BPD. Which is good news to me, because it allows me to heal with a larger perspective on myself. I noticed though, after researching BPD and then reflecting on my own personal life. I as a women amongst large group of female peers, am the only one that struggles with this mental disorder. In fact, I believe that I actually attract Men with BPD (or at least I did until I was aware of it in myself). Could that be true? From a very young age I began to experience trauma. I was out of place and I felt abandoned. So I looked for love anywhere. I always wondered why I couldn’t be like the other kids and just play. I was sitting there, thinking or trying to find someone to love. I noticed in my adult years that I was able to surround myself with honest friends that have good families, Careers, vehicles and even successful relationships. One of five is a Man, the rest are all successful Women. Each of these wonderful people are living a confident and happy life nearing to our thirty’s now. I am just starting to pull myself out of the endless cycle that I must have subconsciously put myself into. In that I realized, every single one of the men that I have been in deep intense relationships with, has portrayed all 9 of the traits that were listed. I have been deeply in love with each of these men. I have allowed them to hurt me and I guess they have allowed me to hurt them. I have two daughters, that I have pulled from home to home because let go of my self worth and allowed my addiction to love get in the way of my true self. Now that I realize this is what could be going on. I feel that I can move forward in life more clearly and without medication. Anyway, I feel that men have a higher rate of BPD. From my personal experience, but could that be because I have BPD? Is it maybe cause I attract men with this disorder? Perhaps I always recognized it in myself at some sort of level, and tried to heal in others what I couldn’t in myself?

You sound like my Behavioral Research and Statistics professor. Well done :)

Well explained, thank you.

Research shows I really enjoy the way you present your "scientifically informed, insider look at mental health topics!"👍🏽👍🏽

I wonder if the time of day and number of hours one has been working impact diagnosis. Years ago, at the inception of my psychoanalysis, I saw my provider at the end of the day. He was curt and irritable. When I began seeing this person in the morning, the experience was very different: the opposite. So...perhaps it is not just gender...but timing...Thanks so much!!!! Very thought-provoking!!!!!

Could you please do a video on treatment modalities? Is DBT more effective for symptom management in men vs women. As sample size is too small???

Is there anyway for you to add a list of references so I can put them in the back of a book? Pretty please?

I have a lot of respect for you, Dr. Grande. Always laying out the facts and nothing more. Are you an INTJ?

I have heard similar ideas about diagnoses of anorexia vs body dysmorphic disorder in men, because men are much more likely to be diagnosed with bdd and women are more likely to be diagnosed with anorexia. Would be interesting if you did a video on that.

I am a male with BPD. I have been in therapy for 10 years, and I was only diagnosed this year because I brought it up. None of my therapists had considered that they were dealing with a male with BPD. My mother has severe BPD, I lived in an abusive household, and I was physically and emotionally abandoned by my peers and then my parents. No surprise that I ended up struggling with BPD. I personally found it very emotionally difficult to ascribe the word "abandonment" to the major traumatic events that were blatantly abandonment, so I wonder how many BPD people suppress or avoid those memories.

Dr. Grande, I do notice more women are dx with BPD and HPD than men (with men less likely to be dx with these and dx with narcissism and ASPD). It seems extremely gender biased. I've always thought this and had explained this on more than a few occasions to professors. I truly would like to know how many folk are out there wrongly diagnosed, because lets be fair, a lot of these symptoms overlap. Its quite difficult to differentiate. Its important for patients to be completely honest with the herapists and Doc's but also the same expectations for clinicians to look outside the box as well. Happy Wednesday Doc!

Do you offer counseling sessions to help BPD-Narcissistic individuals?

Would you do a video on bpd and secondary psychopathy...In your opinion do you think borderlines are Along the spectrum of a psychopath. Being a borderline myself I often drift between the good and the bad self and it makes me wonder. I would say that I do have Psychopathic tendencies but am able to control them.

I find this very odd. In my infinite research I've never noticed a difference in male or female diagnosis for BPD. But maybe in UK there isn't differentiation

Excellent talk, thank you Doctor

I completely agree with you. I do not believe any “research indicate” if there is nothing to back up their claim.

I'm a 16 year old male and have recently noticed patterns in my behavior and people around me think I'm very paranoid, narcissistic and self destructive, emotionally sensitive, and many other borderline symptoms but I don't have violent outbursts so I think I have Quiet BPD, I'm going talk to someone to discuss a possible diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with bpd about a year ago, but looking back at my life I can see why they did.

Dr Grande, can anyone within Cluster A, B or C and across clusters and gender be able to go thru Hypnosis to Reprogram the subconscious mind to change any of the symptoms and behaviors? Can what was learned be unlearned thru Hypnosis?