BREAK ADDICTION: Why You Feel Lost In Life & How To FIND YOURSELF! | Gabor Mate
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A renowned speaker and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress, and childhood development. Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection, and Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It, and has co authored Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His works have been published internationally in nearly thirty languages.
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If you’re ready to learn how to navigate the complexities of addiction and healing from trauma, then I’m confident you’ll find value in this conversation. And now, I hope you’ll join me for Episode 1,303 of The School of Greatness!
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@lewishowes Рік тому
Make sure to SUBSCRIBE for more #Greatness in your life and let me know what your biggest takeaways are from this video! IMPORTANT: There are many accounts impersonating me. I will NEVER ask you to contact me through UKposts comments. All comments coming from me will have a checkmark and be highlighted like this comment here. Please be aware of fake accounts trying to scam others using my name and picture!
@shuhill Рік тому
Shared this with my husband. Thank you for your content!
@lewishowes Рік тому
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
@12bhootojaan95 Рік тому
99
@12bhootojaan95 Рік тому
9
@elenaperezchinea3129 Рік тому
Y
@joymelanson7780 Рік тому
I am one of those people diagnosed with breast cancer who refused treatment nine years ago and I’m fine. I had just lost my husband to a sudden heart attack and I didn’t care whether I lived or died. I chose to travel and experience life. Then I found my joy; singing. So I bought a guitar and taught myself to play and have experienced that joy of playing and singing music daily, enjoying whatever time I have on this earth. I had the tumor surgically removed and when I refused the treatment my doctor was horrified and called me at home to make sure I understood the numbers regarding my chance of survival. I told her I understood. But I also understand that you have no control over the quantity of your life; you only control the quality. And I didn’t want to spend my time losing my hair, being sick and still dying. I’m sure she thought I was nuts! But here I am 😊
@lewishowes Рік тому
🧡🧡🧡
@Truthseeker371 10 місяців тому
Great practical finding of life. Sooner or later well die, rich or poor, smart or mediocre. It's all about the wise personal choice the joy of life is made up with.
@lorraineneville2907 10 місяців тому
Wonderful! My sentiments exactly!
@superdjurdjina 10 місяців тому
Amazing journey, you go girl ❤❤
@robertovelez2816 10 місяців тому
If you don’t mind me asking was your husband an addict? My condolences ❤
@brothermike5 Рік тому
I picked up "When the Body Says No" after being diagnosed with stage 4 Colon Cancer at 35. It kicked my ass in gear to work on my Trauma and my stress just as aggressively as my Cancer was being treated. I know of three other individuals that have passed away from the same Cancer as me and I feel the reason I am here is associated with the work I did on the trauma and how I deal with the toxicity in my life. Cancer doesn't have to mean life OR death. I chose to live even in the accelerated possibility of death.
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
Fantastic! ♥️🔥🌹😘
@shenaepowell7843 Рік тому
I am proud of you. ❤️❤️❤️
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
@@shenaepowell7843 so am i. Unfortunately, after "Agent Orange", cancer got the best of my granddaughter at just 14, who did her best to fight it for five horrible years of pain and torture... bless her beautiful and truly set apart soul! Nadia! ❤️🔥💐🌅💯
@itsjustme...whitney6972 Рік тому
Spot on fascinating I was just telling my daughter about disease and how the Western world cause of that but then it's really the energy and it balls up and it's stuck in there and it is well. D i s ease
@helenaford2617 Рік тому
Brilliant 👏 what methods have you used for the trauma and toxicity in your life. Enjoy your good health
@yaanaallen2303 Рік тому
When I was 29 after 5 years of being in ER almost every night with asthma, my doctors told me I had less than 6 months to live. That was 1979. At that time when I was first told my illness was psychosomatic I was greatly offended, I am not making this up, I am really sick. After the doctors gave up on me, and I sot alternatives I found out that my physical manifestation was due to both past and present traumas, and when I addressed them I changed my life, and in the last 40+ years have never been in ER for asthma since. Take a breath and seek help from people who understand mind body connection, your other choice is to continue to suffer or die too early.
@susancarolan153 Рік тому
how lucky I feel to have listened to this conversation, between 2 well meaning people. trouble is, it makes me just pill the blinds down and close the shutters, to sleep at 5pm. and I'm so old 😪 xxx🤯🤞🙏🏻
@elvansavkl7972 Рік тому
well, share here what did you use and what did you do??
@spiritual2020 Рік тому
Yep! Most people have zero clue how connected the mind and body. Lots of what Gabe says is information I have known for years and so my best to help explain but because I don’t have a Dr degree, that cast me off as if I don’t know what I’m talking about. For me, so much is common sense. I’ve been aware of mind body spirit connection for so long, I don’t know how long. When I was 2 years old was a moment I made a conscious decision to never forget who I am on the inside even though I’ve suffered greatly from the hands of my deceased father of sexual abuse. This knowing inside me IS WHAT helped me move through and then overcome abuse. I didn’t see myself so much as a victim but a survivor. I ended up marrying someone who abused me in every way but the physical although there were times it was close to being physical. Kudos to you for realizing the truth, coming to terms with it, and changing your life positively.
@visionvixxen Рік тому
How did you find the trauma? I don’t want to keep trying after 26 year as of therapy?
@kr50401 Рік тому
BINGO! you got it. my mom had had asthma since childhood, 5 years old. at the age of 60, she had a ten minute EFT session and it basically got cured. she doesn't even own an inhaler anymore. fascinating, isn't it? :)
@Nocturne83 Рік тому
To anyone struggling with addictions, hang in there. Rome wasn't built in a day. We are all works in progress. It's not about how hard you hit but how many punches you can take. As long as you get back up, there is always a better tomorrow.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Agreed!!
@luckymeyer1014 Рік тому
A soft touch 1x in one spot is nice.A soft touch 100x will be painful & cause a blister & burst. So there's a disagreement.
@yaraviera4444 Рік тому
Well said we all go through hard moments..
@Lotus-uj3pp Рік тому
Thank you for this 🙏
@the.seagull.35 9 місяців тому
what if I really, truly can't keep taking the punches?
@glucksklee4476 Рік тому
""the things that are considered as normal in society.. Are not at all normal from the point of view of human life and human needs.. It's totally unhealthy.. So the addictions and the diseases and the mental illnesses that people do develop are actually normal responses to an abnormal situation" Exactly exactly!!
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
Exactly!
@dorian7215 Рік тому
I’m paraphrasing but I believe Jiddna Krisnamurti said something to the tune of it “being no measure of man to be well adjusted to a maladaptive society”.
@mindysmith2087 Рік тому
For me the pain of continuing my addiction became greater than the pain of quitting. I have six years off opiates and Dr. Maté really helped me understand what was going on with me. So grateful.
@limaan8118 Рік тому
That's amazing! Well done you❤ May you continue to thrive
@SocialistTokes 8 місяців тому
Congrats on that accomplishment. That's one climb so many stumble on. I'm so happy you have your life back!!
@lisawanderess Рік тому
I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Interstitial Cystitis, PTSD and complex PTSD and was so lucky to have one of those doctors who DID ask me about the stresses in my life and recommended I read Dr Gabor Mate's book "When the Body says no" very early after my diagnosis. Changed my life and caused me to completely change the way I live my life. Now I'm such a huge fan of his work. He is the Carl Jung of our day. Loved this interview. 💗
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thanks for being here!
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
@TestTest : "Bravo"!
@rohsub Рік тому
That’s awesome! I’ve been diagnosed with a few things myself and I’m unable to motivate myself to make the changes. I’m besides myself cos I know I need to make changes and also what changes to make, but I don’t know how serious things will get before my being says - enough is enough, and starts doing something. I feel like I’m making small changes which are relatively low effort. Any words of wisdom?
@stephanieharper7349 Рік тому
Yep you are right I love them both and they have both had a huge impact on my life in my personal life my spiritual and psychological growth as well as my career choices and career paths for example when I volunteer it is scientific based mindfulness techniques for trauma resiliency inside of the residential addiction rehabilitation centers
@itsjustme...whitney6972 Рік тому
@@rohsub I just wanted to say you can do it it's all up to you but you just have to start making healthy habits and just do it that's the hardest to start. I was at motivated at all either you have to make yourself do anything something.
@infiniterippleshypnosismed2817 Рік тому
"What is your body saying no to... that you're not saying no to." BAM!!! So succinct and perfect. My new mantra 🥰
@delishme2 Рік тому
I loved this too.
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
Healthy wealthy and wise
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
Yes
@097773 Рік тому
😍
@jrp6313 Рік тому
I'm living this question right now
@natka2159 Рік тому
I used to suffer from acne since I was 15 and tried almost everything to "fight" it. Until I realised I suppressed all anger and was the nice girl everywhere I went. Once I expressed my anger and set boundaries my acne has been improving immensely. His books should be mandatory to read in medical school. How much more we would be able to help people is almost shocking compared to swallowing pills and all.
@cindyspiess9963 11 місяців тому
yes that is true , but pharmaceutical corperations do not want you to heal yourself and "they" are primary funder for med schools ... 🫤
@bearnecessiteespolio5359 10 місяців тому
I believe in his ideas , at least to an extent. But it is also possible that your hormone balance profile shifted, and this effected your skin AND your confidence/mood/anger. It's possibly untrue that it was the confidence/mood/anger that was what changed your skin.
@tinaahl4597 Місяць тому
I used to suffer from bad acne, and it went away during peri-menopause.I think it's hormonal. Some of my Mom's siblings had the same issue at around the age I was at the time. I worked in a nursing home and I never saw a patient with acne problems😅. Glad that's over!❤
@kasapbandy1776 Рік тому
Gabor should’ve been acknowledged decades ago but I’m glad he’s getting some attention now
@lewishowes Рік тому
🙌
@Sanguinarius9999 Рік тому
He was part of the Venus project and in a pretty bad Zionist Utopian movie about 15 years ago, I think he was considered to communist / socialist for the still red terror filled USA . (I'm not pro far left or pro far right, they both have really bad elements/aspects, life is about balance).
@aprililes8355 Рік тому
Yes, I wholeheartedly agree!!! I fully believe his work and findings have tremendous healing powers and great promise!!! But at the same time, healing trauma is a very serious matter and should not be done with just anyone!! A safe environment with an experienced professional, well equipped in the process of trauma, I believe, is extremely important moving forward in the individual's healing process!!
@aprililes8355 Рік тому
I love this man!!! Soooo wise beyond words!!!🙏❤
@ImaginarySusan Місяць тому
ABSOLUTELY! IF ONLY, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WOULD LEARN AND PRACTICE HIS WISDOM!
@maryamkhan2978 Рік тому
Can we just appreciate how Lewis asked everything that was so spot on. How these two beautiful souls shared their wisdom with us. You both are a blessing for the whole mankind. Nobel peace prize for you both ❤️
@lewishowes Рік тому
Appreciate you🧡
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
Thank you so much I enjoyed this chat
@evapiko8017 Рік тому
Also I'd love to share the method I've built with you to learn how to find the seed of the issue and the seed essence of your "real" self. The more people get back on track the better.
@kelliborg4090 Рік тому
Lewis you and the Dr. Did a great job! I found this whole session to be very enlightening. I am going out today to get his book and yours also.
@lesonnebridals Рік тому
Couldn't agree more. The perfect questions were asked here!
@trellschleicher7743 Рік тому
I suffered from plantar fasciitis for years and the minute and I literally mean to the minute of walking (no pun intended) away from my narcissistic husband of 23 years my plantar fasciitis went away. It was like magic! There is truth to all this. Just be still and you will discover it.
@sheiladuke3289 Місяць тому
❤❤❤❤❤
@lovesings2us Місяць тому
Wow! That's amazing! Congratulations and thank you for your comment.
@Philip_Kearns_Astrology Рік тому
“Healthy anger is a boundary defence” Love this guy
@r3b3lvegan89 Рік тому
Healthy anger…..seems sensible for those times that blind sheep belittle and chastise people into slavery over trauma and greed. “You better check yaself before ya wreck ya self”
@hoosierbaddy3052 Рік тому
Healthy anger sounds like an oxymoron. Anger is a very exhausting emotion to have on board. It’s about forgiveness. And why? Because if we ever hope to be forgiven by God/higher power/universe, we’d best be extending it to our brethren. Leave judgments and resultant indictments to that same higher power. Anger isn’t a healthy defense against anything! It’s a reactive response to perceived stimuli. Dwight D Eisenhower said, ‘Don’t spend one minute thinking about someone that you don’t like’. Someone’s can be any situation or event that disturbs your inner serenity. “Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest paths to inner peace’. Robert J Sawyer I’ve had childhood trauma. I’ve sought to make my brain space calm and drama free. That includes NOT entertaining negative and angry thoughts. I’m in charge of my own mental health. There’s no justifying anger by adding ‘healthy’ to it.
@Honey-ny3zq Рік тому
I think this can have several interpretations but I agree with this. "Healthy anger" sounds like an oxymoron but it is needed to identify boundaries, and so people respect boundaries and take accountability for their actions. While forgiveness is great spiritually, to the person above me, one thing that is often overlooked is the HUMBLING required for forgiveness. Knowing WHEN to apologize and recognizing how your actions impact others as well is something missing in society. Also, it'd important to understand when you sit in unforgiveness and hold to anger how it erodes you over time, but also when you are aloof or expecting people to constantly forgive you for things after you vi0lated personal boundaries or intentionally hurt others...there's a balance and "healthy anger" is actually a way to express yourself and detox emotions. Ultimately, forgiveness is best spiritually, but constant positivity & forgiveness is not feasable with certain humans or spirits. Healthy anger creates healthy boundaries. We are still humans at the end of the day and those emotions will eventually come up. So one needs to know how to direct those emtotions without being destructive to others or ourselves. We aren't born wise and forgiving.
@MariaNI-yf1bz Рік тому
@@hoosierbaddy3052 you dont have to forgive just because "you have to.."
@MariaNI-yf1bz Рік тому
Further "healthy anger" makes sense for those who still carry the trauma of being rejected or punished by their care takers in childhood just for the simple expression of anger. This could cause that in adulthood you dont show or are afraid to show certain emotions and/or anger. So Healthy anger in this context makes absolutely sense as giving "safety" for those who are full of anger inside but have a hard time expressing it. Depression is most of the time the result of this. Its safe to show your anger..its healthy.
@chelsyjones4017 Рік тому
I was in tears before the interview hit ten minutes.. I’m still in shock by how much I realized where addiction comes from. Interviews like this one, are my only “therapist” in figuring out my true purpose in life. Lewis Howes, your interviews are changing my life in ways that are unexplainable. I couldn’t be more grateful to be able to have access to information like this. Thank you !
@CeceKruchkoSmith Рік тому
You know yourself best. Good wishes to your healing yourself like no one else can 😀
@saugatjarif8272 Рік тому
Good Luck, May you get healed!
@danbelsher6619 Рік тому
May the Force be with you and you find your flow...don't ever give up, you are beautiful as you are. :)
@LBeyMcCrae Рік тому
Me too! I cried like a baby. This one really hit home on so many levels. By far my favorite.
@DogDog173 Рік тому
you're not alone...
@adiconstantin4598 Рік тому
1:14:55 The biggest lost is loosing the connection with themselves. 1:16:06 Really, the task is to become authentic.
@sheenaarnott5992 Рік тому
I've made every mistake in the book with parenting my children, the guilt and regret has been crippling...serving only to reinforce and amplify my own addictions and self punishing. Even though I've spent many years working to resolve the trauma within, this discussion has catalyzed me to muster the courage to face my deepest fears of my own abusive childhood...deep breaths! Very grateful to you, Gabor Mate!
@jenmdawg Рік тому
Just want to say I’m proud of you because you are facing the hardest pain next to grief there is… and the self forgiveness journey is an essential oart to healing generational trauma. Just that you are here watching this and examining your past says so much good about you. I’ve worked with families and when a parent admits to their flaws and failures it changes everything for the better. There is no greater gift we can give our kids than self forgiveness (not rationalization and excuses).
@robinberry4957 11 місяців тому
The stigma is clear
@colliemaguire7985 10 місяців тому
You don’t have to hurt yourself again. Forgive yourself for being human
@the.seagull.35 9 місяців тому
Jesus was punished for us on the cross. We never need to punish ourselves again. ❤ It is finished. God forgave us in Christ, and he will remember our sins no more. You can believe this; it really is true. I've been down the same road and I've found it to be true every day of my life. 🫂
@mattjagger4360 5 місяців тому
Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes the worst trauma a parent can impose on a child is keeping them a perpetual child. Or replacing a husband/boyfriend with thier son. Helicopter parenting etc. I had a horrific childhood of physical and mental abuse. But even I look back at my childhood and there's more good than bad. Mum throwing me out the door at 7am till 10pm, at 10yrs old. Had its benefits. And the physical attacks...made me tough. I later became a champion thai boxer and it gave me access to travel and acheive great things for myself. I own a thai boxing club. I've trained other champions. I wouldn't have acheived that without the physical abuse and the hole in my soul...created by that woman. It helped me avoid women in relationship context. That would have been negative for me. I am thankful for those gifts I gained from her. I haven't spoken to her since 2000. I doubt I ever will again. But I am thankful I survived her. I can survive anything. And the life I have had as a result of the lessons learned from her abuse and neglect. Has been a great one. I wouldn't be the man I am. Without her. I don't love her. I have no positive feelings towards her. But I am thankful for what she did give me.
@Majsztrik Рік тому
This guy is brilliant. When Lewis says "I felt trapped most of my childhood" this made me want to read his book. I have to say that I love when people open up about issues they've had.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thanks for being here!
@gkopij Рік тому
Sending love to Dr. Mate, he's an amazing authentic human being.
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
I see here the Devine has chosen some very strong individuals who don’t know this word give up I was very I’ll most of my life Had a near death exsperience Prayed god to live I did never forgot god has been with me practically most of my life Well all of it , who ever we face we have a very strong team to do it Onwards and upwards To the light 💡 thanks to dr mate and all of us thank you Lord Devine for keeping us Safe ,!!!
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
Addiction iss a soul distorting illness whatever form it takes and needs help Patience All time of Devine
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
@@dianehackett9602 YAHbsolutely divine, in-DEED! ♥️🔥🌹😇
@capricornqueen5262 Рік тому
Speaking to 'The need to be seen and accepted for your authentic self' I think the increasing pressure society (and parents) put on kids about how special you need to be, everyone has to be "exceptional" in something when most of us are average. It creates a weird combination of both over entitlement and low self confidence because we think we should be recognized for something but we aren't. Its okay to just *be*
@janettemckillop6054 Рік тому
This comment is so true. I agree with this 100%.
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
@@janettemckillop6054 in-DEED 🤔♥️🔥
@ImaginarySusan Місяць тому
I raised my kids without TV.
@CryptoRetirementJournal Рік тому
Probably one of the best interviews you've ever done. This is fascinating.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Glad you enjoyed it!
@selfhelpchampion9664 Рік тому
People are not addicted to alcohol or drugs, they are addicted to escaping reality. - Anonymous
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
Yes sighn Ed of help take me out of this life Some people Are more sensitive than others in this life Not as strong I So sad two of my sons One as strong as a rock the other can’t say no, One shy The other exstrovert
@testtest2609 Рік тому
@@dianehackett9602 Even in the same family children have different experiences. For instance the parents may be more stressed when one them comes along, had less finances or lost their job, got more depressed, had a death in the family or some other new trauma when the other one came along. Some parents just don't connect or like a certain kid cause it reminds them of someone or themselves. Check out Alice Miller in her "Prisoners of Childhood" book where parents admit this.
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
@@testtest2609 ♥️
@babysash19 Рік тому
Dr Mate is one of the greatest healers of our time. We are so lucky to have him and be able to learn from him. Thank you Lewis, for bringing Dr Mate and for being so vulnerable as well. 🙏🏻
@lewishowes Рік тому
You're welcome🧡
@robynhope219 7 місяців тому
you know why he's so good? Because he is wounded. The Wounded Healer...he wrote an article about that.
@kristyclingerman518 Рік тому
Addiction are hard to break but you can overcome this just stay stronge and if you have a small set back it's OK you can do it and overcome this no matter what your Addiction is
@DoubleAAnime Рік тому
Who else liked this video immediately knowing Dr. Gabor was about to bring you to another level of awareness?☀️
@abdelhafidabarkan5782 Рік тому
I really respect this man for answering many times with " I don't know how to answer this question".
@kenshofalco8326 Рік тому
Dr Gabor is a true pioneer. His model on addiction and its relationship to trauma is now widely embraced throughout the psychology and counseling community. I'm a client of a mental health center participating in their addiction group. One day I asked the counselor moderating the group if I could ask the group a question and she said "Well, that depends on what the question is" knowing I'm always pushing the envelop and always stirring the pot. I said I'd like to ask if anyone feels comfortable admitting they experienced any form of trauma during their life. She said she didn't have a problem with that so I asked, "Does anyone here feel comfortable admitting they experienced trauma growing up?" Every single person in that Zoom group admitted they experienced one or more forms of trauma during their lives here. From drug and alcohol addiction to food and gambling addictions. I love this guy, I've read all of his books. One of my favorites is "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" I have a deep love and respect for this man.
@janebirkett1471 Рік тому
how do i get into a zoom group like this? based on his teachings.
@RavenLunatik Рік тому
I have a quote on my wall," the number one gateway drug is TRAUMA."
@kenshofalco8326 Рік тому
@@RavenLunatik PeaCe2U my friend.
@sarashepard7504 Рік тому
Addictions groups are never a good thing. Especially when there are people like you wanting to “stir the pot”. This destructive behavior is the reason why many should avoid being around impulsive people that want to push boundaries. It doesn’t matter that you asked an appropriate question, you admitted to liking being the one that likes defying the boundaries.
@kenshofalco8326 Рік тому
@@sarashepard7504 Because boundaries need to be pushed Sara. You enjoy living in a box, others don't. The bottom line is I asked for and was given permission by experts, you should be criticizing them, but hey!!! Your opinion of me carries no weight whatsoever. Your problems are really none of my business. You need to check yourself. Seriously.
@angelusa73 Рік тому
I think my mom was very stressed while she was pregnant with me and I felt I was born in stress and created in violence because she did not want my dad's" attention". I hope humanity is going to take a turn and see that LOVE is the only way we can survive and care about each other create a better world.
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
In-DEED ♥️🔥🌹
@l.w.paradis2108 Рік тому
Notice how even a truly great man has trouble talking about his behavioral addictions, and hesitates for a moment, and a brief but unmistakable look of discomfort and shame passes across his face. _That should tell everyone something._
@melissanajera1675 Рік тому
GOAT!! He's taught me view others and myself through the lens of compassion. What a genius, powerful, yet gentle human.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thanks for being here!
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
Love, does conquer all things! Even diseases. 😘
@AJ-ds8jd Рік тому
I have to get over my father's negative words at my age of 45. He was raised around a negative father.
@mammi3577 Рік тому
I hope doctor Mate lives forever ♥️♥️♥️
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
You will too Mammi♥️🔥🌹
@Heteroscedasticity 10 місяців тому
This is one of the better interviews with Gabor that I’ve seen on youtube. Lewis’ energy and demeanor made Gabor seem at ease and more open
@lewishowes 10 місяців тому
Thanks for being here!
@Abeocanto Рік тому
Wow! I just realized my ADHD definitely started as a coping mechanism, tuning out was my strategy when being rejected by my mom for being a gay kid. Thanks Dr. Gabor! Thanks Lewis!
@joeldwest Рік тому
My mom hated me because she couldn't get an abortion and she didn't want kids
@chulalaly Рік тому
I can not expressed to you the impact that this interview had on me. I’ve been into a process of healing since years ago. One of the things I felt guilt, anger and shame was not knowing better when raising my children. Even though they are good hard working kind human beings I always felt much of their emotional issues were caused by me. Don’t get me wrong, I was always a loving present parent but there were so many things I didn’t know and that I did that were wrong that the knowledge of that kills me. I needed to listen to this to learn that I really did my best with what I had. I just shared this with my daughter who is a single mother of a three year old girl. I see myself in her as a mom. Better than me but still repeating my ways. I just told her to please watch this so we can break the cicle here and now (I am helping her raise her daughter). I don’t know who said this but it is amazingly true, “We are victims of victims”. Love and light ♥️🙏🏼♥️
@Sunny-vm4ry Рік тому
what a Wonderful person you are! thank you for Being. Namaste
@chulalaly Рік тому
@@Sunny-vm4ry Thank you 🙏🏼 Namaste
@HeartFeltGesture Рік тому
Core shame and guilt are debilitating, heavy burdens, I know them well, I was made the family scapegoat in a narcissistic household. As a child I blamed myself for my parents divorce which gave rise to shame and guilt and my mother did nothing to dispell those feelings, but rather doubled down on the shame, she was emotionally immature, emotionally distant / unavailable, which created fear and insecurity and a lack of self-worth / love. My mother came from a family of 10 children with an alcoholic, gambling addicted father. As a result of this kind of trauma, we never feel we are good enough, or deserve good things or people in our lives, and we are irrationally hard on ourselves, trying to be perfect and ruminating on what we perceive the deficit to be with regards to ideals vs reality. We have self-love deficit disorder. The cure is self-love, self-acceptance, hands down this is the way. We have to learn to take that empathetic compassion we have for animals and other people, and give it to ourselves, forgive ourselves, understand with our adult perspective, what we have been subjected to, and how we naturally adapted to cope with the pain.
@theresefournier3269 Рік тому
@@HeartFeltGesture Forgiveness is in-DEED YAHsomely effective! ♥️🔥🌹
@flaviacalina Рік тому
I love Dr Gabor Mate’s work so much! Thank you for this episode! So much to learn!
@lewishowes Рік тому
So welcome!
@amei62 Рік тому
I healed my Trauma, addiction, depression on my own through exercise, meditation & connect with nature & watching your videos.
@sunnyvsaavie9947 Рік тому
'The freedom to experience all the emotions" I think my children pick up my unexpressive emotions. It's challenging to express/speak my truth because my parents were against us children talking back to them or those who are adult. I'm 51 and still have a hard time speaking up on how I feel about a certain things to keep the "peace" not feeling peaceful inside. I go into shut down mode (silent but deadly).
@maryj.khalilian9018 Рік тому
Gabor Mate is one of the most compassionate man of our time.
@adiconstantin4598 Рік тому
48:15 - the 3 sources of our issues: 1. The conditioning (=our history in coping with adversities) 2. The fear we have to discover and live again our pains 3. The identification we make with our personality, that is we believe we are our personality
@erikkasepiphany Рік тому
My favorite quote in the movie Look Who’s Talking is when John Travolta is talking to Mikey the toddler and says “I think what makes a great Father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.” That statement always stood out to me as the ultimate truth. ❤
@SuLawn Рік тому
Yes it possible, I'm free now in my 50s very damaged, seeing a psychologist by the time I was 5 years old, now I say thank you 😊 🙏 to the universe ❤
@sheiladuke3289 Місяць тому
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@jobarlow4513 Рік тому
Amazing interview. Cried several times relating to different parts of what was said and just ordered his book I wait for a time when Gabor's knowledge is 'normal' in society, with all doctors, teachers, childcare and even in courts etc... it would totally change our world for the better 🙏💖🙏💖
@lewishowes Рік тому
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to follow my page and leave me a review here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
@jobarlow4513 Рік тому
@@lewishowesI'm not on apple 😬 so can't review x
@The_RealDutchess Рік тому
AGREE!!! 100%
@dianaliddelow2064 Рік тому
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability Lewis. I had to stop half way through because it felt so intense. I am really grateful for your show. Working through trauma with 12 step programs. It really works. Not on Apple so no review. Sorry, I love your show!!
@FlatStella1 Рік тому
LEWIS,YOU HAVE THE BEST PEOPLE!
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thanks!
@palomaortiz88 Місяць тому
Often when we talk about stress response, fight or flight we often forget that freeze is another very common response specially for those who have experienced sexual abuse. You camouflage yourself in the experience hoping the predator will miss their prey. There is no shame in not fighting back. Love and light for those who have experienced sexual abuse as a child may you heal and find find your peace 💟
@brandonbosch01 Рік тому
This dude taught me to stay next to my son since birth until the end of his childhood -
@zsofi9816 Рік тому
This conversation was so honest and real, I really hope that Dr. Máté Gábor will return in your show. 🧡
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thank you so much for watching!
@usmcwm7031 Рік тому
Thank you! The traumas I experienced from an awful childhood explains my stresses, anger and self loathing. Being abandoned as a child caused deep emotional scars. I still weep as I am now for the little girl that I was looking for love, wishing and longing for loving parents. Especially when I was sick, had bad dreams or sexually abused. No one was there for me. I just had to shut off those experiences and pretend they didn't happen. I'm sure my siblings are experiencing the same feelings that as I am and affecting how they parent. I also cry for all the little ones now that suffer from toxic adults in their lives. I really appreciate this conversation. I look at life and treat people differently now. More understanding, caring and mindful of my attitude towards other human beings.
@rosem5041 Рік тому
God loves you and will never abandon you. Please read the final revelation the holy Quran.
@ImaginarySusan Місяць тому
I'm there for you. Along my healing journey, I held my little 4 year old self as she cried desperately in confusion and absence of love. My adult self cried with her and wiped those many many many tears and bruises.. and heartbreak..and injustices...Grown up me treated her with what she needed back then, and I told her she was loved by me and I would save her... Times like this helped me heal. 😢🙏🫶❤️🩹
@carriesmith3421 Місяць тому
I have several experiences that mimic yours. Parents more interested in their careers than to pay a sitter to protect us when they knew my sister was deeply disturbed and incapable of caring for herself or anyone. Leading to so many abuses, I tried to tell my parents many times over the years but I was not allowed to finish before they dismissed it as being attention getting. Yet my sister was kicked out. I’m in therapy and EMDR but I cannot get to the origins of my trauma. I keep asking myself with a hope of an answer. But my whole body hurts and it’s been months. I need to find this missing peace to be able to start healing. So I keep asking without anger but compassionate inquiry.
@carpediem1981jfa Рік тому
There are millions of interviews out there with Dr Gabor Mate, but Lewis Howes, this is in my humble opinion the best one.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thank you so much! Your comment made my day 😊
@juliecass554 Рік тому
Agree
@MS-gj5cp Рік тому
Hands up to Gabor Mate what an amazing explanation
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thanks for being here! 🧡
@annoravetz5908 Рік тому
I love this guy. He’s so easy to listen to. I like his honesty in admitting his own addiction. Watching Soft White Underbelly (You should have him. Have you had him?). Mark gets to the bottom. The interviewees always have had to deal with some addiction in the adults in their lives when they were children. Sex, alcohol, drugs, nicotine, etc. Those Addictions mess up everyone you are involved with.
@jdonovan5515 Рік тому
That would be a great interview! However Lewis generally has highly educated, intellectual experts in their fields on his show. Mark is just a photographer who asks homeless people questions.
@darkcnotion Рік тому
Those addictions or those traumatic childhood experiences that everyone interviewed had?
@JenMarco Рік тому
I know so many people who beat addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking and all other addictions. It isn’t a lifelong chronic disease like they tell us.
@Eric-cd4rg 27 днів тому
The thing is once you get clean you are back to the crippling anxiety and depression that was always there only now it's worse. It's not like everything is happily ever after once you get clean
@user-sv1hm7tn1y Рік тому
I was not familiar with the words of Dr. Gabor Maté until today. I am amazed by his wisdom and deep information received bow! Thank you 🙏
@eliwilliamson7849 Рік тому
His book Realm of the Hungry Ghost is a deep good read.
@testtest2609 Рік тому
Also Alice Miller's books: 1. The Body Never Lies 2. For Your Own Good 3. Prisoners of Childhood
@aloneinthepark1628 Рік тому
I am just so proud that I learned english to access this level of material online. Thank you, Gabor is such a rare gem.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thank you so much for watching!
@testtest2609 Рік тому
Another vital resource is Alice Miller: - The Body Never Lies - For Your Own Good - Prisoners of Childhood (Drama of the Gifted Child is the awful American title of this book) Her books are out of copyright I believe and available in PDF online.
@trinindibariloche677 Рік тому
This is really inspiring, I agree fully with this advice, from my own experience. I got the idea that this is a family who has done their work to evolve out of the errors we all grew up with. One thing I struggled with in life was even though I have learned, and was able to practice, and improve so many things and feel better myself, I couldnt get my family to do the same. So I became this Island watching everyone else choose not to do the work to become a healthy family. And now I see the negative effect on the children that could have been completely avoided but werent.
@AlhanRahimi Рік тому
One of my favorite experts! Thanks for having him on your show!
@lewishowes Рік тому
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to follow my page and leave me a review here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
@chrilin5107 Рік тому
So true we live in a sick system so off course we become sick. It's a normal reaction to our abnormal surroundings.
@HamletsMill1969 Рік тому
Listen to this great healer and then apply it to your life. You are more powerful than you have been led to believe.
@naakorkoraryee Рік тому
Gabor is my role model in addition and trauma treatment/programs. Thanks Lewis for bringing us Gabor.
@sohila5033 Рік тому
Such an extraordinary soul Gabor is!!! So vulnerable, humble and evolved that he can share his personal details with ease even when he'll be judged by some
@mindynewsome2435 Рік тому
I love how authentic and honest he is.
@janinepettit2019 Рік тому
Can’t heal alone but so many therapists really don’t understand how to help a client.
@anaidacalvert5315 Рік тому
Gabor is explaining my life to me. It made me emotional how some things became so clear to me. Why I am who I am today. It is self-discovery on another level.
@MiiaKoi Рік тому
There are so many mindblowing deductions, the subjects varying from addiction, trauma, healing and self awareness. So hardcore it's taken me 4 days to listen through. Crying at bus stops and kids' gym. Thank you to Dr. Gabor and Lewis, I'm sharing this.
@Over60sowhat Рік тому
Gabor Mate is spot-on! Thank you so much for this conversation!!!
@selihter 7 місяців тому
The pain from trauma as a kid 💔 was a deep feeling of sadness and fear for so long in silence 💔after 33 long years of confusion and crying silently, I finally learned to heal all on my own by listening to people like you guys and many others ❤
@ipaintpro Рік тому
I have been following/listening to your interviews with the most intelligent human beings known to man for a few years now and they can speak and share all they know all day but the questions you ask are far greater than the knowledge of your guest!! Keep on doing what you do cause it's appreciated so very much!! 🤗
@lewishowes Рік тому
Will do, thank you so much for watching!
@kateg6029 Рік тому
Wow! This man speaks to my soul
@barbarachipman9436 Рік тому
it is all consuming. I no longer have the addiction but i don't believe it ever really leaves you because the trauma is still there. I can relate to this one hundred percent.
@jacetanayluna7211 Рік тому
Gabor Maté it’s always a pleasure to hear you speak..I’ve followed u for sometime now and besides a genius you are truly inspirational…👍🤟🏽
@teresaswerdlove4684 Рік тому
Love this amazing compassionate person
@FIBONICITY Рік тому
Many believe that tough love is what people need, but it probably leaves an insidious traumatic imprint on future behavior.
@fatimamelo3858 Рік тому
What a great definition! An escape to some a deep trauma,pain...amazing to get this explanation so clearly and sincere.
@mangowashington Рік тому
I love Gabor he is the best, thank you for having him
@clcopersino Рік тому
This is a phenomenal interview. I love all your guests but this is absolutely fascinating and resonating a great deal. Epic !!
@Tamalama88 Рік тому
I adore both of these men and their individual contributions to the awareness and knowledge that is for the greater good of any person open to listening and learning more about self.
@ludwinahouben913 Рік тому
Thank you for sharing your interview with dr. Gabor Mate. This man is a global treasure of wisdom and so pure!....and you, Lewis, are one of the best interviewers.....and so humble. Wishing you all the best.⚘️
@melisulas Рік тому
I love him and appreciate his work and personality so so much
@bodymindsoul60 Рік тому
Excellent and much needed conversation/information especially in these perilous times 🙏❤️
@sandracaezza7234 9 місяців тому
I continue to learn about addiction. My ex husband has suffered so long. His last addiction was gym work outs,social media,steroid use,gay porn. I watched his spiral knowing this was the last for me. I agree that even with all the therapy we had NO ONE ever addressed the trauma. This video would be so informative to send him. I will not,research is up to him. Not sure he isn’t so fearful of finding the answers that he will never be enlightened. Very sad for me, he had 7 yrs of sobriety,I saw a different man. At least I had that. Married him twice. Now my healing is the gift I give to myself. Thank you for this format, so needed for so many.
@number1angel66 Рік тому
This was so enlightening and I deeply appreciate both of you for your dedication to helping us heal, learn and grow in order to contribute as well. I, as so many of us, had a very rough childhood and even more difficult 24 year marriage. I am relieved to say I have been divorced for almost 16 years. I'm still on the healing journey but I am proud to say I have made significant progress. Every day is a Blessing that I appreciate and cherish. Blessings to all in love and light!🙏🏼💜🙏🏼💙🙏🏼🧡🙏🏼💛🙏🏼💚🙏🏼
@Tindersticksmp Рік тому
He is the best! Thanks for this interview , so much knowledge and compassion
@khadijaaitslimane3657 Рік тому
I can only express my gratitude for this episode in two words: Thank you; and the rest can only be felt. 💚
@enestinefonbah4449 Рік тому
This is so rich! Plenty wisdom
@zestrus11 Рік тому
I admire how deeply compassionate ppl are who have helped their own trauma and can hold space for others without being triggered. This all seems like common sense but it's much needed to hear and be reminded of for everyone
@NiKi-ij2ln Рік тому
normal responses to an abnormal situation. I get soo much love from this , thank you. This makes me think to not be soo hard on myself. 🙏❤️🌟
@travelinghearttattoos5482 Рік тому
This is such a beautiful conversation you two have empathy that are out there helping us all. Both of you are Empaths 🤩 this is amazing this is what we need you are teaching to highest I see it this is how we change the world
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
@taracampos3418 Рік тому
Thank you for bringing Dr. Gabor Maté. 💜I heard his talk, When the Body Says No, and I was in awe witnessing his sincerity, and wholistic analysis of pain and humanity. So beautiful to hear him again, and what he is working on now.🙏🏻Thank you.
@lewishowes Рік тому
Thank you so much for watching! :)
@dianehackett9602 Рік тому
Communications are a force to be record with solves so many problems
@sarahbrown1398 Рік тому
We love you Dr Gabor Mate.
@Flyingblind1 15 днів тому
Dr Gabor your so humble & I hear the serenity in your voice.Im so grateful that I found you here.your voice is soothing & you speak in layman's term so all can understand.Ive learned so much from you.coming up on 23 yr in recovery this September Im so grateful for your service and I was gift an open mind I feel more serenity in my life in reconfirming I'm teachable still .thank you for your service love hearing your voice and your strength experience hop.huve fan
@delishme2 Рік тому
We are all swimming in a sea of shame. As soon as I realised this and how deadly that is to the heart,mind and psyche, I started unburdening myself of my trauma. Trauma is a wound we don't inflict on ourselves. Someone else did it, so why am I feeling shame ? And why is shame such a trigger ? What was the internal dialogue that happened at the moment of the wound, that we carry with us throughout life ? What is your body saying no to, that you need to say no to. As soon as I became cognicent of this, it all started to lift. I'm determined to empty that trash can.
@JjBianca Рік тому
I admire Dr. Gabor Maté. I rewatch some of his videos sometimes. He's helpful, encouraging and straightforward. I respect his work experience and his openness about his personal struggles and life in general.
@lisabeeke7162 Рік тому
Lewis, again, your questions are on target...for me anyway..your intuition and openness are incredibly humbling..thank you to you and to Dr. Mate for sharing his insight.
@0ff8rand91 Рік тому
The amount of wisdom contained in this is beyond incredible and helpful. I'm so glad this work is being done there's so much valuable information here🙏
@mhickey4669 Рік тому
Thank you Gabor. Love you dearly.
@drongster59 Рік тому
Re facing ‘it’ sometimes we don’t even realise it ! When you grow with / through the pain and feel you’re thriving whereas you’re still only managing/coping with … the situation
@vanessaware1272 Рік тому
Thank you ❤ Always love listening to him
@allone273 Рік тому
Brought tears to my eyes. So much Awareness & Wisdom. Gabor & Enlightenment are One & All. Beautiful. Many heartfelt thanks.
@paulaleticiasartini1722 Рік тому
Thank you so much for this intervew
@Bojan_V Рік тому
This interview is so full of wisdom 🙏🏻...
@heamenancha3942 Рік тому
This is hands down top 3 interviews I have ever seen. Soooo much gem. Wow just wow. Thank you!!!! This is exactly why I want to heal my traumas before getting in to have kids. I'd never want my children to ever feel this type of pain. And this helps me to understand my traumas more so I can get one step closer to starting my own family.
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