This is one of my top 3 favourite episodes of all time. Genuinely changed me. Please hit the like button on the video if you like this guest 🙏🏽

My father was prone to rage. Mum would often say we'd walk on eggshells around him. His anger could well up at any time and especially around practical things like mowing the lawn, packing the car or on the rare occasion when we went on holiday. He was a workaholic and moved us constantly for his "career". By the age of 15 we have moved 9 times and I went to seven different schools from the north of Scotland to the S East of England. To this day he sees it as our failing that my brother, sister & I didn't "do well" at school. I became a workaholic myself & know I was also trying to prove my worth and I carried a lot of learnt behaviors. I felt strongly that unless I carried a "big job title", made money, drove a big car and lived in a "good area" etc. I would never gain his respect or feel worthy. Bonkers I know! Thankfully I was able to stop, getting off the hampster wheel aged 57 when the doctor told me I was carrying critical hypertension. I've moved to North Devon to be by the sea, work part time and mostly ride my bicycle. I'm walking the SW coast path at weekends. I'm also trying to rediscovery my sense of self and what an authentic life looks like now. Good luck everyone.

If parents stop loving their child, the child will continue to love it’s parents, but will stop loving itself.

Gabor Mate is a genuine pearl of humanity. His intention is beyond exceptional? He deserves a Nobel prize awarded

As a Palliative care nurse one of the best things I was told, was to live your life as if each day was your last. Because in reality we all think we have time…until we don’t.

So this man is saying you provide a safe, nurturing, environment for kids in their first 3 years you can change the world... This is a gift

I was a stay at home mom, I was there every minute for my children. Then I had to push them into the hands of society, school. Where they learned bullying, hate, how the teachers acted different towards the kids whom parents owned a business, or were significant in the community. All the self esteem I built up in them, the system tore it down. No matter how I tried, all I heard from my children is, you don't understand, you tell us we're pretty, smart, an everything because you love us, they don't love us, so they must be telling us the truth. Society is sick, full of hate and greed. You can't save your children from it, only keep telling them and showing them you love them. But there comes a time, when your love isn't enough, they want friends and fit in. It's hard being a parent.

The social structure of school is like prison. - Painfully boring schedule - One random peer group that is inescapable - No shared goals, only rivalry - Crabs in a bucket mentality, constant bullying - Authority unable to stop the bullying The result is a grinding machine that kills time and creativity.

Don’t ask why the addiction, ask why the pain ❤

I read 'The Inner Child' book 20 years ago and it changed my life. I did the excercise where the adult you approaches and wrapts their arms around their child at its most vulnerable point. This is hard, the child kept vanishing as I approached. I finally managed to cradle her, wipe away her tears and promised that the adult me would look after her in the right way from now on. My life changed very positively from that point: I started Uni at 40, finished well and am generally happier, healthier and wealthier.

I have waited 80 years to be able to understand. My eternal gratitude to you both

When he says: Who told you are not worthy? and then: You deserve that sense of worthiness...I start crying...As I never heard these words before!

Tears came to my eyes when he said he sat there and listened to the people who were dying because people who are dying want to be heard. I've waited my whole life to be heard and I hope that I get heard on my deathbed. What a wonderful gift. He is amazing.

My mother told me, all the time, how depressed she was when she knew she was having me. How she had morning sickness throughout her pregnancy with me, How I was born at 5.45 am, "Just in time for breakfast. Typical Julie!" My baby book describes me in very unfavourable ways because I was jaundiced, and on and on..., no wonder of all my sisters, I was the only one who didn't cry at her funeral. You can't lose what you never really had.

The calm, gentle manner in which Gabor delivers his learnings is EVERYTHING.

At the age of 67, I’ve finally started putting myself first . Needless to say, my family and friends are very confused. I don’t think they like me as much, but that’s ok.

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome.

Most of us were molested, or abused in some other way. Then sent to a school system that tolerates bullying and hate. Then cast out into a world where all that matters is your social circle and how much money you make.

THE GREATEST THING WE COULD EVER HAVE IN LIFE IS TO HAVE A GOOD CHILDHOOD !!!

my best friend recommended Dr Mate’s book to me last winter. After years of trying to fix myself, I finally realised what was wrong with me. You see, I was a very sick baby living in a polluted area, so my parents made the difficult choice and left me with grandparents who lived in a countryside. I grew up being an insecure workaholic addicted to proving my worth. I’m 40 now and realising I F am enough. We all are! Take care 🤗

His book on addiction really helped me get out of that rut. I read his book on parenting when I became a father. I am very grateful to have found out about this man. MY relationship with my children is great. Thank you Gabor!

Only recently realized that my constant anxiety is a reaction to my parents' untreated issues

There is a reason why Dr Gabor Mate is revered by so many. His insights, humility and humanity is beyond. Love him so much.

Every time I listen to Gabor talking about how you should treat a sensitive child so they can grow to be confidant and happy, I cant help but crying. in 2003 I was 7, in Iraq. Now, I am 27. Physically, i am not there, but mentally I feel like i never left. I cant help but feel for the little me who, since age of 7, lived in that horrible environment. I am not there now, i know that, but i still feel everything like it was yesterday. Sometimes it feels like a prison i cant escape. No matter how much I better my life now, i can never take away the pain, the stress and the lack of love little me had to live with.

I have thought countless times, 'Something is very wrong with me but I don't know what it is.' Thanks to Mr. Maté I'm starting to realize the truth. I have gotten so low, and was in such despair that the thought of ending it was actually put in motion, my plans were thwarted that night by an unexpected phone call. I don't know why I am still alive and I STILL battle dark thoughts daily but Mr. Maté is helping me to understand the profound and excruciating pain I daily live with. I cannot thank him enough. Sincerely, sincerely! Thank you Mr. Maté!

*We live in a sick society.* Dr Maté has remarkable insight into why our society is so toxic and dysfunctional. Materialism, greed and narcissism are killing us.

This man saved my life more times than i can count. The world needs to listen to him.

I’m an intervenes drug user and I’m 42, I e tried to get clean a lot of times been through the 12 steps 5 times been clean and sober for years at a time, but I can’t stay sober I have an inability to face reality and I’ve made up my own world and live in it, this has profoundly changed my point of view and I’m excited about tomorrow for the first time ever maybe, not a disease, I’m a child and my personal awareness is unbelievable, I can change with this knowledge! Thank you 🙏

This man, Gabor, is literally saving my life. He’s helping me see. I need to figure out how to handle my surges of anger while identifying the origins of my beliefs that still affect me in my 60’s.

Repressed anger and embarrassment, shame , works itself out as Depression, and a life full of drugs to survive!! Face your past. You already lived through it.

My father has passed away when my daughter was only 9 months old. I was very very attached to him. She saw my blues. Sometimes she could feel it even when i smile. This is who we are. Like the rock is shaped by the sea and the wind, human is shaped by the pain and fear, retouched by faith and people like Gabor. But it's natural. We are so fragile yet beautiful

"When the Body Says No" changed the way I saw myself, people, and how I interacted with people.

Dr. Gabor Mate understands humanity and trauma in a way that only someone who has been through it and feels it can. His insights have helped so many... including myself. I hope he has someone or more that are capable of helping and uplifting him in the way that he helps others.

When a child doesn't get love from either parent I believe when someone gives you love you don't know how to receive it

I was born into a psychiatric ward called family. All families are dysfunction on a sliding scale. Abuse is not just sexual ( our sexuality is core to our self worth- it’s who we are) it’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. You don’t know what you don’t know. So you adapt to survive. It’s not just the parents who are dysfunctional it’s all the siblings. My sister ( three years older than me ) was the family’s scapegoat. Guess who was her scapegoat. Then we take our trauma trances ( bonds) into the world. Non the wiser. Every moment of our life from jobs, roles, relationships, hobbies, activities will be driven as attempts to repair our wounds ( attempts at symbolic healing. They rarely if ever work, just exhaust us in the process. Addictions, codependency , anxiety and health problems. If we are lucky we wake up once, twice, three times from these abuse trances and go on a healing journey. At 67 I am free of all abuse bonds for the first time in my life. Free to heal and be myself.

As someone who is training in Craniosacral therapy, I'm so happy to hear Gabor mention it here. I haven’t heard it mentioned much by trauma experts. It's so gentle, calming and perfect for all ages and conditions. Thank you ❤

Extensive studies on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) were completed in the late 90s. We say we care - but actually we don't. Because if we did, we'd all know the situation is desperate and we'd do more to protect children.

In retirement, the last year. I dropped 250 lbs, an abusive husband and on a plant based diet, 50 lbs. 1 of my 3 children is an addict, 20 years, got councelling with an adddiction councellor, but I was sitting on the couch crying about it. Im better in action so I packed up my wagon with coffee, freshly baked muffins (healthy) and cleaning supplies, walked 4 km to the worst drug building in the city, where my son lives. Him and his girlfriend have infection from needles. I soaked rags in javex and used my foot scooping up needles etc. Cleaned apartment, fresh sheets and towels. showing love and compassion. The childhood trauma, they talk about is imaginable. My son is a good artist, tomorrow, moms coming to clean again with markers, drawing pretty pictures on his walls to change the gross ones. He lets me, always get hugs and kisses and meeting alot of interesting people, who need to channel their trauma into creativity and love themselves. We just need to be kind to each other specially the little ones. Im buying your books Addiction first.

This interview seems like its a therapy session for the interviewer, interviewee, and viewers. Talk about quality content where there is a lot of learning to do. Thank you for sharing this insightful conversation.

I came from a very dysfunctional family so abused everything possible. I was alone. I believed Jesus loved me in my soul for who I am at the age of 19. My instinctually belief started to change from believing I was alone to being love, valued, God’s involvement at my core. This has been the beginning of my healthy development until now (63 years old). It’s important to go to your core beliefs or you’ll be stuck in your “instinctual” behavior from your trauma. Love you all.

Of all the psychologists I’ve known of, Gabor is the most humble and honest. His book Scattered minds is also a must read, saved me from so much self-hate and confusion. Love this man and his son’s ❤!

I wish everyone that’s reading this Good health, success & prosperity in abundance ❤️

In a world full of distractions, Gabor always holds my full attention....Steve you outdid yourself with this one.What a man, am so glad he simply exists. Thank you

At 75 of loved years I still weep when I watch your interviews with Gabor Mate You have a wonderful steady way of talking to this fragile wise therapist Well done and thank you

The Diary of A CEO never lets me down. Always so inspiring and joyful. It feels like I am on an adventure of exploring myself with Steven and the guests. Sincerely, thank you for the great content.

Gabor is a LEGEND. Well done for having him on as a guest 🙏

I always knew something was terribly wrong with my father but never knew anything about his family, childhood, etc. He refused to talk about it. Finally, years after his death, through a genealogy search, I learned what happened to him. When he was 2 yrs old his mother died suddenly (heart attack, age 27) and he was bounced around among relatives. At age 8 he witnessed the murder of his grandmother and aunt...old newspapers gave all the horrible details. For me, it was a mystery solved and also a sense of personal relief. There was nothing I did or could have done to change the course of his life. You can't help someone if they won't share their life, feelings, traumas.

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🧠 *Childhood experiences, especially during early years, shape our worldview and sense of self, influencing how we navigate life's challenges.* 03:30 🌍 *Gabor Mate emphasizes the impact of early experiences on an individual's worldview, explaining how his own early context shaped his perspective.* 08:40 🔄 *Traumas are not about what happens to us but about how we interpret and internalize those experiences, affecting our self-perception. Awareness is a crucial step in overcoming these interpretations.* 10:20 💼 *Workaholism can be a result of trying to fill an internal emptiness with external achievements, driven by a sense of inadequacy or lack of worthiness.* 13:19 💔 *Societal rewards for external success may perpetuate the emptiness, contributing to the "hedonistic treadmill" where achieving more becomes a constant pursuit.* 16:47 🌟 *Gabor Mate's experience in palliative care highlighted the importance of acceptance, patience, and intuition when facing the inevitable reality of death.* 18:36 🎙️ *People approaching the end of their lives often reflect on what truly matters, finding appreciation for meaningful connections and authenticity.* 21:38 📝 *Creativity is seen as an essential aspect of human existence, and Gabor Mate underscores the importance of following our creative urges to avoid frustration and embrace our innate capacity for creation.* 24:09 🚫 *The fear of not being good at a creative pursuit can hinder expression; the act itself should be the reward, irrespective of external validation.* 25:07 📚 *Identifying too closely with one's work can lead to anxiety and a sense of failure; detachment allows a healthier creative process.* 26:00 🔄 *Paradoxically, seeking approval while creating can make the process agonizing; releasing the need for external validation is liberating.* 27:34 📖 *Gabor Mate's book, "The Myth of Normal," challenges the concept of normalcy in society and explores the impact of life experiences on health.* 29:14 🔄 *"Normal" in society is not necessarily healthy or natural; societal norms can be detrimental, leading to illness and dysfunction.* 31:31 🩺 *Removing the idea of "normal" in medicine and psychology would lead to a more holistic approach, considering individual life circumstances and experiences.* 32:38 🤔 *Diagnoses in medicine don't explain the root cause; understanding the impact of life experiences on an individual is crucial for effective treatment.* 35:15 🧬 *Illness, even physical, is viewed as a process influenced by life experiences, not a separate entity; the disease model should be reconsidered.* 41:03 🧬 *Nurturing from parents influences an individual's ability to handle stress; the impact is passed down through generations via behaviors and epigenetic changes.* 44:49 💔 *Trauma is defined as a psychological wound, an unhealed and triggering experience that can lead to emotional scarring and inflexibility in response.* 47:13 📊 *A significant percentage of adults have experienced trauma, but understanding and acknowledging trauma are crucial for healing and breaking generational patterns.* 47:26 🧘 *Childhood traumas, both obvious (e.g., racial taunting, sexual abuse) and subtle (e.g., unmet emotional needs), contribute to long-term impacts on individuals.* 48:09 🚸 *Big T traumas, such as abuse, violence, and loss, are recognized, but "small t" traumas, like unmet emotional needs in loving families, can also significantly affect individuals.* 50:44 💔 *Trauma is more common than perceived, affecting a large portion of the population. Successful individuals often have abnormal beliefs or behaviors rooted in early traumatic experiences.* 51:55 🤥 *Traumatized individuals may exhibit pathological lying as a survival mechanism, creating a distorted reality shaped by their past experiences.* 56:42 🔄 *Survival mechanisms, such as aggression or lying, developed in response to early trauma, can shape an individual's personality and behavior in adulthood.* 59:29 🔄 *Repressing emotions, like anger, as a survival strategy can lead to mental health issues such as depression, highlighting the importance of addressing underlying traumas.* 01:02:29 🧠 *Awareness is a crucial step toward healing from trauma. Recognizing the puppet master of trauma in one's life allows for the possibility of liberation and reconnection.* 01:09:24 🔄 *Work, like other behaviors, can become an addiction when used as a coping mechanism to escape pain. The key is in the relationship to the behavior and its impact on long-term well-being.* 01:11:02 🧠 *Understanding Addiction: Addiction can serve as a temporary escape from distress, providing relief and a sense of accomplishment, even though it may cause harm in the long term.* 01:12:28 🔄 *Flipping the Narrative: Instead of asking why the addiction, focus on understanding the pain that drives it. Recognize the benefits the addiction provides and explore healthier ways to fulfill those needs.* 01:13:27 🌱 *Developing a Sense of Worth: Begin by acknowledging and validating what the addiction fulfills for an individual. Shift towards finding healthier avenues to build a sense of worth through meditation, therapy, and self-awareness.* 01:14:44 💬 *Authenticity for Healing: Authenticity is not just a way to heal but an essential aspect of being true to one's nature. Embracing authenticity involves dropping masks, fostering genuine connections, and experiencing expansiveness.* 01:19:00 🕹️ *Agency and Personal Responsibility: Agency in healing involves taking personal responsibility, making conscious decisions, and not using trauma as an excuse. It empowers individuals to shape their interpretations of the world.* 01:20:42 🔠 *Overcoming Limiting Beliefs (Five R's): To address self-limiting beliefs, employ the five R's: Relabel (acknowledge the belief), Reattribute (understand its origin), Refocus (create space), Revalue (evaluate its impact), and Recreate (consider positive alternatives).* 01:26:10 🧠 *ADHD and Sensitivity: ADHD is not a genetic disease; it's associated with sensitivity. Genes make individuals more sensitive to their environment. ADHD tendencies may manifest when a sensitive individual copes with stress by tuning out.* 01:32:52 🧠 *ADHD may be linked to environmental stress, not just inherited traits. A study with 65,000 children showed higher ADHD rates in parents with traumatic experiences.* 01:33:21 🌍 *Poor kids and kids of color in the United States are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD, reflecting higher stress levels, including in men.* 01:34:29 💊 *Early medication for ADHD might be necessary, but addressing underlying stresses and helping parents understand their child's sensitivity can lead to more effective and long-term solutions.* 01:36:47 🤔 *While medication can aid focus, it's not a cure for ADHD. Long-term development, addressing traumas, and creating a positive environment are crucial for a child's well-being.* 01:37:44 ☕ *Medication, including ADHD medication, might have short-term benefits but often comes with long-term costs. Consider lifestyle changes, address traumas, and create a fuller life.* 01:40:54 🌐 *Society is becoming more toxic, evident in increased ADHD diagnoses, chronic illnesses, and various societal issues. Awareness and understanding trauma's impact are vital for positive change.* 01:42:32 🔄 *To counter societal toxicity, awareness is crucial. Acknowledging trauma's impact on health, education, and criminal justice can lead to a more empathetic and effective approach to societal issues.* 01:45:21 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 *Parents play a crucial role in a child's development. Understanding and meeting a child's emotional needs, providing unconditional love, and supporting their own emotional well-being contribute to healthier outcomes.* 01:47:13 🏫 *Schools should prioritize promoting healthy brain development over cramming information. Safety, lack of pressure, and nurturing relationships with adults are essential for optimal learning and curiosity.* 01:49:17 🔄 *Teachers have significant power in shaping young minds. Understanding the impact of their behavior on children's vulnerable brains and promoting healthy brain development can transform the educational system.* 01:54:58 🌐 *Gabor Mate lacks personal selfish dreams, with desires focused on a better world for future generations. His aspirations involve global well-being rather than self-enhancement.* 01:55:37 💭 *Mate's dreams are centered on creating a better world, mitigating suffering, and ensuring children worldwide are free from harm. While labeled as "selfless," they have a profound personal impact.* 01:56:47 🌍 *Gabor Mate's aspirations include a world where children in Gaza, Israel, Ukraine, Russia, and Britain live without fear, poverty, or conflict. These hopes, while global, carry a personal sense of fulfillment for Mate.* Made with HARPA AI

Love this guy❤ Dr Mate...saving one person from their childhood at a time.

An important point to remember is that everyone's parents who may have inflicted trauma, had parents and were probably traumatised too. When we've worked through our feelings, we can hold compassion for them too.

I came across one of Gabor Mate’s quotes years ago before even knowing who he was. It is because of his quote (I’m paraphrasing), “Don’t ask why the addiction, ask why the pain” that I’m such a huge fan. His work around trauma truly resonates with my soul. Thanks for this interview. 💜

I was very privileged to meet Gabor at a conference in Ottawa. What a wonderfully smart and helpful man ❤

This book sounds right up my alley. I've been "abnormal " my whole life and have been fighting to keep my head above water throughout it all. I'm glad I came upon your interview.

Gabor was our family dr. for many years....great doctor, was driven that is for sure! He delivered our son.

Don't ask why the addictions ask why the pain. Love this!

This was a terrific show. Gabor is honest and open about his own experiences and insightful regarding others> He is the kind of person that I could enjoy just being quiet with. He exudes peace and acceptance.

A denial of reality is a denial of how we feel about things. I've began healing a few years ago and used to listen to Gabor while I was in therapy. I am just starting to feel like I live in reality and it's such a relief and such a beautiful feeling of self assurance and independence. This mention almost got me in tears. My therapist used to talk about reality versus magic thinking a lot and even though I finished therapy this still keeps sinking in. To anyone looking for help, I hope you find the therapist that suits you, the work is invaluable. I personally recommend the Transactional Analysis field of Psychotherapy. Stay safe and strong 🙌

He has a lovely voice, and speaks the truth about violence without sounding angry. Impressive. I'm reading everyone's comments. My male parent was a rageaholic, violent man who could only respond to life by threats, hostility and condescension. He looked down his nose at everyone. He couldn't keep his hands off me, he was viscious. When I flinched, he threw sideways punches, he was a brick shaped man and strong. I despised him and knew he was rotten. On the public side, he charmed everyone. I neither knew nor cared what his upbringing was, to make him so. I believe when you're a parent, it stops being about you. I believe it was wrong and criminal to put me in such a position and I blame both parents for throwing me away, even though the other parent wasn't physically violent, she did a half-assed job and did not protect me from the man she had spent ten years escaping who now unleashed his full force on me. I deserved better. And if you're one of the others commenting, you do too. NOW, TODAY, I have done work on myself, my beautiful self, my life, and my worth, that I can say: -I have more worth when I am loved, safe and secure, and filled with joy. -I am worth love, I am worth safety, I am worth joy, and presence. I support myself and hold myself up. I honour and cherish myself. I will always be here for myself. I love my sad bits, because they give me meaning, I love my uncertain parts, because I am in between and brave to have jumped. I love my lonely parts because they give me connection with my spirit. Peace, safety for everyone.

If only children could know peace, perhaps then world peace would be a given. Thank you both!

I wish that Dr. Mate, my parents, ( who were Hungarian refugees) and myself could have sat down about 45 years ago and had a deep conversation... Perhaps it could have prevented the aftershocks of generational trauma, and the plethora of traumas that my sister and I endured in the U.S. It is bitterly ironic that many immigrants and refugees who flee terror and horrid circumstances, find that their children and grandchildren are marred by horrors that they experienced here, in what was supposed to be the "American Dream." Bullying in school, dysfunctional relationships, multiple marriages, domestic violence, addiction, a fast and permissive society, and more. I watched Dr. Mate's video linking physical illness to trauma - my sister and I have certainly dealt with this - she had a major stroke 2 years ago and is non verbal and non mobile as a result, I have had 9 surgeries, am diagnosed with CPTSD, OCD, bipolar disorder, among other disabilities. Kudos to Dr. Mate for educating the public, and his compassion and empathy. I believe that irregardless of what any of us may have endured, once we become adults, it is our responsibility to seek help. I am working with a wonderful therapist, - EMDR and talk therapy are very effective. I believe that both my parents had PTSD and depression, but during their generation such things were kept quiet and denial was huge. It is fortunate that more and more, attitudes are changing and people are talking about things that were formerly swept under the rug. Koszonom szeppen, Dr. Mate, Thank you so much!

I have a friend who tells me all the time "there are people out there worse off them me, i dont have truma, i don't have ptsd, i havent hurt enough" We medicaded ourselfs with drugs and booze and within all the conversations we had i saw her truma and after very slowly and steadily telling her that truma isn't the same for everyone and that we don't get yo choose when it happens she finally realised why she was angry and scared. Shes now in a loving relationship and she recognises when her emotions are more then they should be. Just like myself. It's ok, everyone can feel hurt and its ok your not alone ❤ don't disregard your own pain just because you feel its not enough pain to be painful. Everyone deserves to feel safe and healed, everyone! If you can ask for help do it ❤❤

So true, it doesn't matter how "good" your parents were financially or in other ways, if they are unhappy people the child will feel bad about him/herself. They literally absorb their parents feelings. And then parents go "what did we do wrong?" Just being unhappy and carrying their own childhood wounds is enough to ruin a child. That will be absorbed by the childs brain. No one should have kids unless they go through therapy first. Should be a requirement.

Thank you Gabor. And the early 2000s I was taking care of my nephew who was labeled at school with ADHD. At that time I was into nutrition and decided to make better food choices. No more sugar cereals started his day with a good breakfast oatmeal, fresh fruit. Eggs and better lunch choices. After a few weeks, I have better food choices. He was much better in school. In fact, his teacher thought he was on medication. I told her no I just changed his diet. I’m glad I did. He turned out to be 6 foot 10 healthy and love in his heart.

Good on ya, Mike Sheridan! My heart skipped a beat when I read "57". It's strange how for so many, for so long, one's self is the most difficult person for one to have an open conversation with. I, for one, am so good at helping other people solve their problems, but cannot seem to do the same for myself. Our minds are beautiful miracles, far rarer throughout the unimultiverse than most appreciate. But the mind is also an entrapment of sorts. Some look at the world and themselves from the inside out. Some look at themselves from the outside in. Some manage to balance the two. The longer I live, the more I realize that most people are not 'normal'. They are debilitated by anguish or mental illness. The 'normal' people that manage to seemingly not be affected and lead a healthy, balanced life, are the minority among us. And maybe they too struggle every day but manage to keep it out of sight. I have had many unchosen brushes with death. If I were a cat with 9 lives, I'd be dead long ago. It's true what people say, that every day is a gift. Every second may be our last. Life is far more fragile than most people realize. Our brain turns almost everything we see and experience into symbols, most of them kept, interpreted, and associated in the subconscious. It is important to feed our mind a healthy diet. Join me in taking a moment each day to be quiet, walk among nature or close our eyes and go somewhere safe and beautiful. Allow yourself to fully enjoy at least one simple thing. The smell of a flower. The wind on your face. The taste of the ocean in the air. Daylight breaking. The song of the birds. The feeling of walking barefoot in the sand. Even just for a short moment. Unknowingly, it will free you from yourself. Repeat. Don't over think it. You are worthy of joy and you deserve to be happy.

Thank you Dr. Gabor Mate! In the midst of darkness, your light shines bright, making a profound difference in the world

I grew up in an alcoholic family, I'm 64 now. It all started with I'm not good enough. That belief has ruled my life all my life.

A major problem I can see is parents are stressed from both working because work is so demanding now that very few people are not highly stressed. Companies want more and more from you, then you pass on this stress to the child. Often the choice is dont earn as much and have more time and be less work stress but deal with the problems of lower income, like living in a worse area, worst schools, economic stress, or work harder, and not have time for your child. Basically your screwed what ever you do. God help us all

I find now at 62 I like being alone with myself. I enjoy my own company. It has been years of developing and evolving through past trauma to get here. I am grateful to be here but i am still digging and working on addictions. Your conversation helps broaden my perspective. Thank you

i dont know how many times I can hear him.....he makes so much sense, every time i listen to him.....its like self healing

The "Big T" traumas describe my childhood. I really think I need counseling. My family would tell me things like, "Counseling is for weak white people!", "You are Native! You're not weak", "Showing your emotions is for the weak!" "Toughen up and quit whining!" So, I always thought I had to hide the pain and the emotional hurt so as to not bring shame to myself or my family! We are not meant to go through life feeling like you are a fake. Or, not knowing who you really are! I'm 54 now. I wish I would have got the help I needed, regardless of my family. As I get older and I have grandchildren, I realize just how much I need to talk to someone. If you are reading this, and you even think you need help, please get the help you need now. Don't live a life of regret like I do. You will be a much better person and you won't regret it. Don't let those around you suffer from your hidden pains. If I could have done things differently, I would have. Don't wait.

Gabor is absolutely correct about Rheumatoid Arthritis at 30 I had just gone through a traumatic divorce following giving birth to my first child. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Once I got out of that situation I was free of it a year later and now 30 years later still free of it!

On one hand I'm like "why didn't I watch this sooner?" and on the other, I know I've watched at the perfect time for what I'm going through right now. To say this interview and the work Gabor does is a Game Changer feels like an understatement 🤯

I think I have read maybe less than 10 books in my whole life, and The Myth of Normal was one of them. GM...what a treasure of a man.

I was so stressed. My son wore my stress on his sleeve. I had a tiny bit of savings. Quit my job. Begged unemployment for a few weeks. Saved more. Changed my career. Starting actually taking care of my physical body/mind and my son's..fast forward 3 years later. We are calmer, relaxed, slimmer and fit. Poor but happy. He is talking more. He's 16 ASD non verbal. We learn at home and socialize with calm people only now. Within our bubble we cook great recipes, we garden veggies, we do so much learning by living our daily lives. Our daily tasks are based on our stress or mood. We pick tasks that align us for the day. We thrive for contentment. Do what is good for you:)

I was born to a women who did not want a child and did not want to give birth. She did what she could to prevent having a live birth. I was diagnosed at birth with cerebral palsy. Now I know the clonic tremors were caused from her actions towards herself to prevent a live birth. So I walk and I talk and I never did have cerebral palsy. But. That pre- birth trauma began a lifetime of trauma …new and old being triggered. I have had years of therapy. But reading and watching your work has made the biggest difference in my life. But now even at 66 years old I still struggle Being in the presence of anger and rage effects me to the point of being shut down and in a panic. I had open heart surgery for a 100 % blockage and calcification of the LAD. The only reason I’m alive is because my heart created collateral vessels…that is what saved my life, that and a heart attack and finally an angiogram that showed the total blockage. And then an emergency open heart surgery. I just want to thank you from the whole of my broken heart for your courage and commitment to helping others. I turn to your work daily.❤

never have I ever been more grateful for stumbling upon an unexpected find THANK YOU Gabor Mate. I look forward to reading your work. Thanks so much for having him on your channel

This man is the most emotionally intelligent person I’ve ever heard speak! I think he’s the first person who has come very close to helping me make sense of the “spinning wheel” that so many of us are stuck on day after day. We listen to that negative self talk in our own minds without ever questioning it. Why do we do the things we do? Whoa!

I was totally a workaholic to try to prove my worth - I’m grateful I recognised that and have pulled back significantly to be present for my family. That meant sacrificing many material things but I’m rich in love and contentment. ❤

I find it striking how the best advice is given by people who had a tough childhood themselves. As if it is necessary to understand and feel and gain insights that allow you to help others.

Listening to Dr. Gabor Mate makes you witness the best in humanity in the person of a doctor.

I totally agree with all the positives about Gabor. Listened avidly. Bought his book re addiction. My daughter yo-yoing in and out of mental hospital. Addictive behaviours. I had severe lack of attachment as a child, first 3 years in childrens home, abused after, divorced, adore my adult children but can see what has been generational relationship problems throughout my lifetime. My birth siblings, all separated from one another through our unmarried mother’s childhood and life trauma. She died of heart failure in her 50s. Also in and out of mental hospital. Relieved, enlightened by Gabor but honestly also overwhelmed by, now what? I’m 67 and my adult kids in 40s. We try to nurture my grandchildren in the light of Gabors work. My other mentally emotionally hurt daughter is suffering in hospital and don’t know how to help. Sorry offloading a lot here. Thanks if you’re reading

"Become the friend of the puppet-master, then relieve them of their duties". Love that. Absolutely loved this episode. Totally absorbing and intellectually stimulating. Thank you.

I'm surprised the topic of media and news outlets targeting stress responses never came up, but Dr. Gabor is a gift! Thank you for sharing him with us Steven and the DOAC team!

Really love Dr. Mate's work. I can almost feel the weight he's carries on his shoulders. Such a kind and compassionate man. I can't thank him enough. And I love that he discusses workaholics in same category of the other addictions. People always assume addiction must be just of drugs, alcohol, and food. Absolutely incomplete. My parents were workaholics. Dad used to say follow the Protestant work ethic, which was comical to me before he was a Catholic. But, he was also a small business owner so he was always working. Even now he works part time and he's 80. He says it keeps him sharp, but at least he is making time to enjoy life in other domains. In any event, I want to share this message with my friends,loved ones, my colleagues, and students. Its a relief to hear it said. Our society glorifies working to the point of illness and exhaustion as a good thing. Europe and other countries are much better about work/life balance. I do like to work hard, but now because I enjoy the challenge, not to receive acceptance or acknowledgement. Frankly, most Americans don't get an acknowledgement anyway. So if you work hard or extensively at least do it because it brings you satisfaction in and of itself. Not for others to validate you. They often don't and it leaves you feeling overlooked, taken advantage of, and so forth. And find a way to carve out time to just be. You won't say on your deathbed, I should have worked harder and more. You're going to wish you spent more time with family and loved ones. You'll also regret things you wanted to do and couldn't. Don't put off things you want to do. It may not be easy, maybe you'll need a side hustle to earn some extra cash to make that dream trip or experience possible, but it will be worth it. I want to go to England and Scotland. Have my whole life. I'm actively saving a pirtion of each check towards that goal. Sendings hugs to anyone here. Know you are loved and more than enough no matter what your background is. Peace, love, and light to you all. Namaste.

I was drawn to this man when I first saw him in an interview. I see him like a modern shaman. The way he speaks, that gentleness in his voive, the knowledge he has, how he cares about the people he is talking to...he is just next level. He's like a father figure I've never had. His new book the Myth of normal is already a bestseller in our country.

What I missed most in my childhood ( I finaly understand it after 70 years of age), was to recieve a hug from my father, without being afraid of him.. He was angry for just the smallest things…. I felt guilty without understanding nothing was my fault at all…. Later in life I see myself as an surviver! Thank you, Gabor, I give you a big smile, wish your life will offer you peace and joy despite your past. ❤😊 From Grete, Norway

“Infants take everything personally..when my mother is unhappy, it’s because of me, I can’t make her happy, I’m inadequate” - kids who grew up with happy, confident and peaceful moms will never know how lucky they were…

Just listening to Dr. Gabor Matè's calming voice alone calms me, nevermind the hope to heal he gives me! Such a blessing! Excellent interview! Tyvm!❤

This man has fullfilled his purpouse in life, he is a true healer.

When I was a child I had asthma and various different allergies. My mother left my sister and I and went to Vancouver to live with another man she'd been seeing on the sly when I was nine. My dad was a dunk, and a womanizer who was physically violent towards women in particular. After my mother left we ended up in Tallahassee Florida with a woman named Collette. She took good care of us, fed us better than we had been prior to arriving at her door with my sister. We went to church every Sunday. I think we took piano lessons. She was a school teacher. She put my sister and I into a summer sports camp. After that summer of being separated from both my parents the asthma I had went away, and most allergic reactions disappeared. I understand now that I felt smothered by my parents and the general environment to which I grew. Gabor Mate's work directly correlates to the work of Dr. Bruce Lipton, cell biologist originally. He wrote three books. The Biology of Belief, The Honeymoon Effect, and Spontaneous Evolution, Our Positive Future, and a way to get there from here, which is written with Steve Bhaerman. All three books are very enlightening, especially Biology of Belief. Very powerful!

I love the pause, the space you leave your guests to answer within. It's not too long, it's not awkward. It's just space. This was my favorite episode to date 🩷

My father was emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually abusive… my sisters and I always say he taught us how to punish ourselves. We picked up the torch, his voice in my head morphed into my own.

I totally agree with Gobor Mate on the example given about the mother rats raising their children. My other comment was that do to the fact that I was born into a bombed out country in Europe, my mom had more important things to do than to give me the time I needed as a child, she had to be working wherever she could to keep me from starving. People in the USA have no idea what really tough times are and I hope no one ever has to find out what life’s like when you go to bed many nights without food and cry yourself to sleep with hunger pains and a ice cold house in the winter 🥶 I wasn’t old enough to understand war and all the horrible things that happened but I do remember my family and extended family sitting around talking all kinds of negative discussions, I often cried when I heard my mom cry about what to do ? I remember scratching things with my fingernails on the ice that formed on our windows, washing up in ice cold water, going to bed and my body heat couldn’t generate enough heat to keep my teeth from chattering and so on. When we had the Covid lockdown, my friends and neighbors panicked about not having enough toilet paper and other things, all I could think is that was a piece of cake ..imagine if your city wherever you live would be bombed ..there wouldn’t be any stores left to buy anything. My city was 89% bombed. I have learned to adapt and cope with what was at a very young age because I didn’t know any different. I didn’t complain and I never asked to get anything. I pray that none of us will ever have to go through this ..but it could ? The leaders of most countries are not all sane ?

We all want to know that our suffering isn't pointless; it isn't a mistake or glitch in the system. If my suffering becomes useful to ease the pain of another, suddenly my past is changed. It's no longer "bad" because it's become a tool; a key to release another from prison. Totally cool. The best part is I'm not gaining relief deliberately, as a conscious transaction. The relief comes as a natural result of helping others. Happiness ensues.

Gabor Mate is one of the most authentic human beings , only if more were around especially in world politics

I'm sitting here realizing that I might have this without being diagnosed for the 28 years of my life. The un-ease and the sudden crying is down to something even though my life is normal in all other ways

I feel so bad for that mother, to have to send her baby away to keep him safe. All that unnecessary suffering, all man made. And it continues, when will we learn?

I will tune in any time I come across Gabor Maté. And Steven, your ability to listen and ask great questions is beautiful. Thank you both for this conversation. ❤

I feel that with all the times that my parents mistreated me then soon realized it, I would have turned out so much better if they verbalized that they were wrong and apologized. Instead I got got candy or a toy, which in my adult life has become flowers and chocolate.

Was looking up more interviews with Gabor, and of course he’s always amazing and inspiring but I must say that I really liked your interview style, including the humbleness and authenticity you said you’re working in… but I say you’re already showing it. I guess that’s why authenticity is good… it makes other relate to us as we all have issues. Facade of perfection is NOT relatable to most of us.