“Being strong with a complicated person” literally sums up what I truly thought I was being. Only once I got out I saw how truly abusive it was at every turn.

My daughter went through exactly the relationship Evan did. Her watching Ms Woods testifying before the senate gave my daughter strength to move on. I'll always owe Evan a huge huge debt of gratitude for her courage and strength. She helped save my baby. Thank you, Evan, I'm a fan forever.

She did it, y’all. She named him.

People saying that she didnt seem like the victim when she was with MM . I was married to the a guy who was pretty verbally, and emotional abusive who I protected a lot in public. For many years I did it. I stood up for and made excuses for a lot of it.. Even my closest friends and family didn't know how he was until our marriage ended. I would know it was wrong because it hurt me, but I felt that was just as good as I was going to get and it was up to me to make it a better marriage.. It wasn't until many many months after I got out that I began to see how damaging being with him was to my whole being--and even more years to get the healing process down. Unless you have been in that type of situation, you just don't know. I even remember telling a therapist (after they asked me "are you sure this is healthy for you to stay with?") that it was ok, that I loved him, and that it was what I wanted. Covert narcissists are around everywhere and they're a very dangerous breed of person.

"I was given the perfect body for who I am." wow

My boyfriend when I was 21-22 nearly killed me. He gaslit me until I was literally trapped in our apartment 24/7 and brainwashed to the point where I blamed myself for what was happening and couldn’t talk to anyone on the outside. Our roommates were part of conditioning me and blamed me for what was happening. If he hadn’t left me I would have died, without a doubt (he stabbed the girl he left me for). It took me forever to break that conditioning, I didn’t want to be here and fell deeply into addiction to escape the trauma. I had to have a really safe space to sober up and process that trauma in therapy- it took me YEARS. Thank you, Evan, for your bravery in sharing your story. It’s so hard to believe something like that can happen to you until it does.

Non-disclosure agreements shouldn't matter in cases like this.

“I’ve actually been given a perfect body for who I am”. This right here is precious 🙌

"I've actually been given the perfect body for who I am." Such powerful words, if we could all just internalize them for ourselves.

There IS a period where everything is fine. You Are Groomed. This is so critical to know- it can happen to anyone

People complaining about her talking about herself in a channel called self... Are you ok?

" i didnt realize that i was being abused i thought that i was being strong with a complicated person" hit me hard.

My first experience of being in a abusive relationship was with my mother. Never stay in an abusive relationship with someone let go and heal yourself celebrate your small victories everyday!💕

I can’t believe she is sitting like that on that stool and not falling over I would’ve face planted immediately

"I didn't think I was being abused, I thought I was being strong with a complicated person" Exactly how I felt when I was in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. The thing the media and Hollywood gets wrong about portraying abuse is that not all survivors are I inherently soft-spoken and subservient. You can still be a survivor of abuse but be boldly confrontational throughout said abuse - it's just that, after all the gaslighting you start to get exhausted trying to defend yourself and start to doubt your own intuition.

I remember when I first saw her. It was when she started dating him and everyone was talking about it and about the age difference between them. To me, she looked like some sort of impossibly flawless porcelain doll, and having him by her side only accentuated that. I felt there was something off about them, but didn't know what it was (I was just a kid, a few years younger than her). Now I look at her talking and laughing and I can see an actual human being. I don't even want to imagine what she must have gone through. He obviously saw her as his own little doll, that's for sure.

Some people in the comments seem triggered by this beautiful display of authenticity. They see it as an act, and their lack of tact and straight up meanness expressed in their comments remind me of abusive exes of mine. Abusive people can't comprehend or accept when people are truly being themselves because abusive people subconsciously hate themselves, and that's why beautiful people like her get abused. It's sad, but abusers provide a sometimes necessary challenge in this twisted reality to face and overcome. We learn to love ourselves more with even greater conviction. People love to hate love, and to those people I say - go ahead and eat your heart out.

I was around 15-16 years old when I watched Evan Rachel Wood in the movie Thirteen. One of my all time favorites, as it was scarily relatable to my own turbulent upbringing I had as a young teen. I remember being entranced by the maturity she depicted at such an age and her ability to bring a realness to the screen that I had never witnessed before. It brings me much joy to see that Hollywood didn’t ruin her the way it has so many others. She is an old, wise soul through and through, and we definitely need more of her wisdom shining upon these younger generations who look up to the Kardashians as role models...🙄 Thank you Evan for sharing this interview! You are a beautiful soul. 🤍

She’s naturally beautiful. I’m glad she finally named her abuser.

She’s been my woman crush forever. She’s incredible at her craft, and she seems to be a great normal, emotionally mature and likable person. Ugh. Sweep me away, Evan.

As a bisexual man who was part of a toxic relationship (and a HUGE fan of Westworld) I never thought I could relate so much to Evan Rachel Wood. She brought language to feelings I couldn't begin to describe myself. I'm so thankful for this video. ❤

Her life has balance now like her stool game.

Wow, I started crying when I listened to her speak about overcoming her body shame. When I was younger I was super skinny and I hated myself. Now I'm heavy and I hate myself. I buy all the clothes and shoes and makeup, anything to make myself feel good for a minute, until I really look in the mirror. I am 45 years old and have spent a lifetime hating my body. I hope i find the courage to accept myself before I die.

She also wanted to name her abuser, so now she found the courage to do so and I commend her for being able to tell more of her story

She is an extremly mature person. This is something I can relate to..so many girls should see this.

Never EVER understood why the women gets blamed for being in a relationship with an “abuser”. It’s a scary and lonely place to be, and that’s the reality. The more people you tell, the better off you’ll be. Widen your support system, an abusers goal is to remove your support system and get you alone - tell as many people as you can.

She Named him as her Abuser today!!! So Proud of you Evan!!!! And Esme Bianco too! Thank them both for going to our Congress to get laws changed to help domestic violence Survivors

She is spot on! I’m so sorry that she went through this. I have been there.

“I’ve been given the perfect body for who I am” 💖

More women should voice their abusive relationship struggles, it gives not only insight but also hope to other women.

Seeing her this healthy, happy and beautiful on the in- and outside gives so much hope and power.

Based solely on the title, I didn't expect this to give me so much joy. What a brilliant person! So glad you lived to spread your light..

What a beautiful soul. She is real, strong and graceful.

This was a very important talk SELF, and can be applied all relationships, even in lgbtq+ ones. Thanks for sharing your story Evan Rachel Wood, and great job SELF in featuring this!

I love how she doesn’t mind being so open and honest

Thank you for the courage to speak out about being a domestic violence survivor. As a survivor myself, you described the abuse process perfectly in stages starting with vulnerability, lack of knowledge, conditioning, and the destruction/havoc it causes on victims. The more people are educated on the domestic violence, the stages of the abuse , the predators and their luring conditioning, the less victims there will be. It goes back to the more people know the better they are equipped to protect themselves. Survivors have to speak out to protect & equip future potential victims.

Marilyn Manson has left the chat.

Rose McGowan and Evan Rachel Wood both spoke out against Manson as being abusive. or maybe it was just Rose. Or maybe it was Dita? Saying he was violent and angry, smash windows, etc.. and Evan never accused Manson directly but it seems like it was him. edit: omg you guys Evan just came out and said it for real.. I think I had made this up about Evan because it was obvious and I just had inferred it somehow.. but Dita and Rose said he wasn't so it seems like he preyed on less famous people.

Your brain isn’t fully developed until 25 she was 19 when she met him 38

And this interview has made me absolutely LOVE her. What a real and honest talk. She is so articulate and relatable. Love every part of this talk. Favourite quote: "Oh, I've been given the perfect body for who I am." And yes I totally googled her relationship with Marilyn Manson.

She looks like when she wakes up in the morning she naturally smells like vanilla and coconut and her breath smells like eucalyptus

Finally understanding your feelings about "unconventional" attractions when she was younger had to be a huge revelation and weight being lifted.

I was gaslit, textbook, by my ex girlfriend. It wasn’t until I heard the words, “but I said I’ll let you go camping with your friends.” it had nothing to do with me “depending” on her, except feeling emotionally wanted. Thank you, Evan, for being such a beautiful person.

I stand with you, Evan ♥

I'm so proud of Evan for sharing her story. So much respect for her!

God this interview was so inspiring, refreshing and it gives so much hope to people on so many levels whether you're struggling with your past, present situation or self worth. Thank you Evan Rachel Wood for sharing a piece of your soul with us, the viewers. Thank you, SELF. I'm teared up here. 💕👍😘😍🥰💜

What she said about pregnancy was so honest and beautiful. If you are a woman who doesn't want children this obviously doesn't apply to you, but yeah I do feel like childbirth (cesarean or vaginal) is an ultimate test. It really does push our bodies to the edge of what it really is to be a biological woman. And that's incredible. I know many women will want this experience and may not have it. I wish we could all have what we want, just not the way of the world.

The upside of anger is one of my most favorite movies. It has helped me over the years with my anger issues. Evan Rachel Wood is a great woman and has great talent.

Evan is one of most talented actresses out there. I admire her so much inside and out

I’ve always admired her acting skills. I hope she is happy and has peace in her life.

I just saw Dolores on the thumbnail but now I see Evan. Thanks for this interview!

This is wonderful. I love that she's so willing to be real and raw and share her story. I resonate with many things she said. 💜

Wow she’s such a beautiful soul. It’s also amazing how many celebrities are opening up about who they really are and their struggles. It makes all the misfits of the world, or anyone who has struggled feel more ok with being different. like she said, it removes shame. What kind of world would it be if everyone could embrace who they are, be real and authentic, vulnerable and different. I’m seeing this world opening up even in the midst of what seems to be in upwelling of ignorance and evil.

The name she isn't naming is Marilyn Manson. Just in case anyone was curious.

Eloquent, strong, truthful!!! what a fantastic human.

Every bisexual growing up has that epiphany moment where they are like wait I'm allowed to like both? Yes both, both is good. Lol

This made me cry because I related so much to her here.

She is so sweet ❤️ a genuine person ❤️

Wow, I relate so hard, it takes time to see yourself as you were in the relationship and come to terms with the fact you actually were really abused and deal with that before being able to speak publicly and not feel all encompassing shame. I know I'm still struggling and can't bring myself to get physically close and intimate emotionally and physically with another man, I think I'm ok and as soon as I'm in a situation of being alone, I freeze up. I am on medication and need therapy to function because of it. I might not ever be able to have that again because of the domestic violence I suffered. So good on her for speaking out and being able to move forward with her life.

It's crazy to me how hear what she's been through. I'm astonished how she's able to talk about that topic now. I'm blown away be her performance as an actress in Westworld, and watching this video makes me feel like there's such a parallel. The strength of her aura is likewise in the late development of her character who in the beginning only saw the beauty in the world but was left to experience horrible things and truths and ends up having such a powerful force in her personality as a result of all the tough things she had to endure. She really is a fascinating person - and is able to act it out on stage.

This is incredible sharing- Thank you Evan for your vulnerability & honesty.

have always thought her skin is just absolutely perfect

It literally sounds like she is talking about my life. I have always LOVED her, but I love her even more now!!!

This is so relatable to me. I thank you for your honest discussion!

I was blind at first. I have memory problems and that was used to gaslight me. She used my compassion and empathy to manipulate me. Threats to control me. Nobody believed me because she was a petite 4'10 woman and had this loud, confident energy whereas I was bigger, shy and introverted. All of who I am was chipped away bit by it. It's been three years I've been out and I'm still struggling to get back to me, I don't even know if I can ever get back to that person, but I'm working on loving myself again and learning who I am

Thank you. This is beautiful. I cannot get enough of watching and being women who are coming into ourselves. This time is so special, and sad at the same time. It should never have taken so long for this.

You’re very brave! Thank you for sharing your story! I was abused for years! I feel more comfortable telling me story now! Rock on!

She's such a beautiful person, she went through something really hard and came out trying to find peace and love towards herself after somebody made her feel chaos and shame.

This is really inspirational interview 👏👏I loved how honest and raw Evan Rachel Wood was 👏♥️ I loved how happy and luminous she was about who she is right now ♥️👏😊

Thank you for sharing your story. The power and control wheel should be taught in schools, also the cycle of violence.

I can't believe she was self-conscious about her body. She might be one of the most perfect-looking people I've ever seen.

Shes such a beautiful person inside and out. Shes so comfortable with herself and is an inspiration. Love her💗

Manson has actually abused several women over the course of his career. Evan just happens to be the most high profile women accusing him. Look up the actress who played Ros on game of thrones. Lots of other non famous women have come forward too.

I've always lliked but I like her even more now. Such a genuine, wise and fun soul.

Thanks for sharing. Can totally relate. Strong women put up with more as they feel they should be tough enough to hang in there. Guilt, shame and blame distorts your reality and becomes your own demise. Your genuine self is heard and shines through . Keep being you 😊🙏🏼xx

THIS. is so beautiful. Thank you, Evan....sooo many people still need to hear these stories.

I needed to hear this. I’ve always been told “your a such a smart girl” I excelled in college and academics, started a career a have immense passion for overcoming a traumatic and unstable childhood and during all this seemingly positive success I was dating someone who was slowly becoming more and more monstrous in their treatment of me. I eventually became a emotional punching bag daily for them to climb on top of and shove themselves inside me when feeling emasculated by society. I gave up autonomy in hopes that if I complied the mistreatment would stop, it did not. It only escalated until I was suicidal. This person was charming, said all the right things in public, making me afraid to reach out for help for fear no one would believe me and support me. Which did end up happening in some regard making me see how victim blaming is a common aspect of my families culture as Asian American with toxic gender values. But what was worse is this illusion people had created about my image as a strong independent woman made it impossible for people to see me as a victim taking away my ability to identify what was happening to me. I told myself “I’m not a victim, I’m not naive like other women who don’t know better” I’m disgusted that I thought this way at all. That thinking is what kept me trapped. Predators can look like anyone and so can victims. We have to end the silence, end the stigma, stop doubting and challenging brave survivors who courageously tell their stories. For my child and myself I needed to get free and get myself healed and whole again. But it was a fight, a fight that took help, help that I know not all people suffering silently in abusive partnerships have. If you are a survivor I encourage you to share you story. The personal is political and your voice matters so much. We can do better if we do it together.

I remember her when she was a kid in the movie Practical Magic.

God, I love her. I’ve been in the same room with her twice and she really seems like a genuinely kind person. 🧡 A great role model for young girls.

I'm glad I found this interview

Abusers/groomers tailor themselves to their victims to hook them in

This is so beautiful. Thank you for your courage.

OMG! Such an inspiring interview! Thank you very much, Evan Rachel! Especially, - for your activism!

Awesome that she gave this interview ~ I can’t even begin to imagine the helplessness and powerlessness she felt for so long, simply because I happen to be born a man... I think something not talked about is the responsibility that men have in this.

I could listen to her talk for hours

This just popped up on my suggestions list... she seems lovely and very easy to listen to.

I just love her voice, I could listen to her talk foreverrr.

We should always endeavour to be the nicest version of ourselves

Who sits like that on a stool!? Power move!

I first saw her in Once and Again - she was fantastic! I wish I could watch the series all over again.

Her energy is incredible and inspiring.

she's so beautiful and so so strong. I hope she's doing well and is still strong. I'm proud of her.

I can't keep my eyes off her, she's so beautiful...

Change happens when consciousness happens, look back in history, when others become aware and educated, CHANGE HAPPENS. We are all 1, and as we are changing our consciousness to that reality we all become stronger. Together #togethernapavalley

You can’t under estimate gaslighting of a person overtime by multiple family members ,by spouses and by your partner in a relationship ...it can mess up otherwise strong people in a way that is hard to describe .

That hit me in a really big way. Thank you.

"Don't break my heart.. or I'll break your heart shaped glasses."

I love how much she loves herself💗💗💗💗💗 it gives me hope that i can be in that place someday

I just love how happy Evan looks when she is talking about being comfortable with her body and sexuality, and how happy she looked when explaining her pregnancy. She’s so sweet. I pray that her and her family will always have happiness.

Such a inspiration!!! Thank you so much for sharing. Love&Hugs