Hahahahaha YEEEEESSSSSS! I haven't laughed as hard as I just did in months. Thank you so much for bringing that to my attention.

that is exactly how i wanna die XD

This is amazing, I tip my standard issue guardsman helmet to you.

@Vasian Vasianich Need to forge the iron when it is hot :D

Dude I remember 4chan when Trump made the space force, he became god emperor Trump that day lmao

Star Trek: don’t wanna be a red shirt Star Wars: don’t wanna be a red trooper or the emperor guarded by red troopers. Or a red trooper on a ship that can’t fly up...... 40k *clears throat* red tings go fasta

40k fan who's been around for a long time: I only want to be here if I get to be an Ork. Otherwise, _HARD PASS._

@Captain's Commentary Ah, the Interim coalition of governance... the only faction in all of sci-fi that makes the Imperium look competent, reasonable, pacific and xenos-loving...

Captain's Commentary u have gotten me interested in something new thanks

Rather be an Ork or Tyranid

One of the reasons no one likes the tau. That, and they don’t engage in *GLORIOUS MELEE COMBAT*

@@mcarrowtime7095get outta here Banana-Man😂😂

To be fair, the Tyranids just wanna Nom.

@@greghannibal yes, but genocidal consumption of all life isn't exactly a good thing either

@@mcarrowtime7095 Yeah, but they're not doing it because they're evil.

Truly a Warhammer moment lmao

That’s actually pretty dope

"And on the table top they fuck, oh the fuck hard"

LOL 😂

Imagine atheist......(lol) Oh wait I'm an atheist f@ck

@@erichrandomstranger1243 🙄

I read this comment right as he said it in the video haha what are the chances

Nazis but the government is more like the Holy Roman Empire style confederation

I'd fight C'thulu with the Nazis. Hell, I'd go after Yog-Sothoth too.

@midgetydeath FAK

That is such a good analogy I love it

You'd like JoJo's Bizarre Adventure...

Even that alone would be seen as Heresy and you’d have to die. It’s clearly corrupting you so much already that you can’t help but openly talk to it. If you were found doing this, they’d just simply kill you. The Grey Knight who wields that sword remains completely silent. He does not talk, he does not stay around other people. He sits in complete isolation, in complete silence, with a completely still and quiet mind, and simply waits until he is truly needed in combat.

Well that's no fun. In my mind, it almost became an antagonistic buddy comedy. "Morning, evil sword." "Morning, Knight. Have you considered that the battle today might be a bit too much even for you, if you don't harness my full potential?" Grey Knight, unimpressedly pouring himself coffee: "Mmhm. You've tried that one."

@@igor_kossovcue Seinfeld theme and copy and paste laughtrack from friends

My favorite thing about them is that (if I'm understanding things right) they aren't enhanced super soldiers like the Space Marines.

@@roetheboat1 I used to think they were gengineered Valkyries and the white hair was a side effect of the process that made them. They're just hand-picked due to already being highly exceptional and then trained with great intensity. The end result is an army of millions who are all tougher than SEAL Team 6, equipped with future weapons, and able to work literal miracles.

They are badass and one of the coolest imo. Liked them since played soulstorm as a kid

The part about them playing religious hymns on speakers from their space ships def sounds super bad ass

damn, that's pretty cheap for a few billion normal soldiers. might get some for myself

That seems pretty cheep for the size of the army they're listing.

I think he means the figures you buy for games

miro Vesterinen that’s what I thought then I realized it was a tabletop game

@@u.s.k.maalof4969 nah its 40k for 10 plastic army men

Warhammer tinder, Khorne’s profile “blood god, embodiment of hate and rage. I Enjoy walks on the skull fields. Height: Immeasurable (6’8)”

7ft? That’s laughable, real men are 9ft or higher and can wrestle an ork with all of their limbs tied behind their back!

7 feet? What is this, an Adeptus Manlet? If you are not more than 8 feet tall don't even bother. The Chad Primaris gets all the Space Karens.

You mean don’t even brother... Babum chhhhhh

Whoops, looks like I accidentally joined a cult and started worshipping the ruinous powers. Haha, I'm such a Libra.

Johnsons sons definitely competing against the Inquisition.

Underrated comment

​@PopeDope69-420 What? No it isn't. It's overtly obvious that Warhammer 40k is space Rome.

I guess with many facets of the Holy Roman Empire, I suppose, so more like the sworn enemy of the byzantine empire (at least after the orthodox-catholic schism)

I think we were introduced by the same source, although I don't remember the neame

@@awesomeawesome8350 That was probably Kirioth. Specifically his "Why Wh40k always wins" video is also a great introduction to it.

@@kukelhupf yeah that is where I heard it.

Yup

and grandpa Nurgles followers.

@@maciekx10 everything sucks unless you're a psychopath

*Bold words for someone in assault cannon range*

Aurelion Sass I may die but my words won’t be any less true!

Literally deathcore moshpits and bdsm orgies .... sounds about right

Mechwarrior fan? That's what a Knight House is for. Smallest armies in terms of numbers, but when you get to show up with 3-5 giant killer robots to face off against anothers army of dudes and tanks it has a certain something...

yes

1% of the US' yearly military expenditure

@@FrontlinerCdV this is where the budget really goes

@@FrontlinerCdV lmfao

FITE IZ FITE YE GIT!

LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET(?

@@ili5207 DA ‘ELL YOU SAY? SPEAK UP YA ZOGGIN GIT OR I’LL ROKK YA SKULL AND BASH YA TEEF IN

In the cause of the Greater Good, we'll give you a fight all right. Come take a plasma bath you overgrown mushrooms.

Bold words for someone in assault canon range.

Welcome, fellow new person! I just built up the Recruit edition and I'm waiting for my T'au army to arrive!

That's pretty accurate. Especially if you're playing the imperial guard. Throwing half a million men and women at 10 Tyranids and Calling it a win. :)

The Black Baron *billion

@@genericchannelname4110 'course they're fighting 'Nids, so there may be a billion guardsmen, but what can they do against a hundred billion gaunts?

Gaster Blaster dig a few billion graves?

Except the Necrons. They're already dead... Oh, and the demons. They just respawn in the warp...

Yeah, we already have the Early Access versions of the Ecclesiarchy (Polish Catholic Church), the Inquisition (Ordo Iuris), the Corpse Emperor (Kaczyński) and even a Polish version of the Horus Heresy (Ziobro going against Kaczyński with his own party).

Poland is Imperium of Man confirmed??!!

@@lgay1927 Always has been.

Makes sense.

Eastern Europe is just PUBG

Lol yep. Warhammer Fantasy is just pure Fantasy. Orcs, Goblins, and true Medieval style Humans and LOTR style Elves. Warhammer 40k is a completely different Universe that has nothing to do with Warhammer Fantasy at all, and takes place in the year 40,000 A.D. Lots of really wacky Techno-Religious Zealotry, Guttertrash Cockney Orks, and super sexy but absolutely terrifying alien Elves.

All heretics are dead by default. Some of them just don't know about it yet.

"Who are the bad guys in 40k?" "Yes"

I'm sure the Inquisitor would love to have a word with this man.

Whomsoever've has summoned the hollow knight fandom

@@awesomeawesome8350 incorrect. Orks are the only good guys.

Proceed to wipe out brains to stop being conscious

@@aspid164 Ain't no Mind Cleanser in the galaxy potent enough. Best use a Bolter to get the job done.

@@berniebroig8745 I got one loaded and ready

@@phelpsbutnotmichal9360 Welp, I'm not better than any of you. *BLAM*

@Bageleater64 No need to bring out the heavy bolter, brother.

Be wary of Slaanesh my child for they are pain and pleasure in equal measure.

They are: Angry satan Nerd satan Covid satan Horny satan

@@eliseorengelgarcia6364 I've lost it at "COVID Satan" so clever!

technically Slaanesh is a ‘they’ because they have taken on both male and female forms at different times (to the eldar they’re known as “she who thirsts” whilst daemons usually call them “the dark prince”). Definitely the most fun Chaos God to hang around with though, at least until they get bored of the sex, drugs and booze and instead decide to rearrange your muscle tendons into a still-living harp (that’s an actual daemon of slaanesh model)

Slaneesh is (to me) the worst of the Chaos Gods. It is about excess of everything. Pleasure, pain, everything

Vulkan once set an Eldar child on fire.

@@theoneandonlygrod that's a suspiciously heretic way of spelling "filthy xenos".

@@SirRichfield Agreed. He didn't even bother to smash the creature's spirit stone and offer up it's soul to the Dark Prince. Such a waste.

I want a salamander to carry me like that

The Blood Angels arnt evil, you just think they are as they rip through anything in between your blood and them

yes. well, that and pyromania

VULCAN LIVES!!! (STOMP, STOMP)

Nearly dead imperial citizen: h-help meeee Salamanders: *Jamaican cheery accent" Hello my friend :D, It looks like you need a hug :)

I mean sure if you’re an empirial citizen as in a child or a soldier, the salamanders will save you, but if you’re an alien child... You’re getting beheaded. Everyone sucks

@@rosienelson1004 Fuck alien children. They are filthy xenos and deserve death.

@@rosienelson1004 that's still better than some of the other Space Marines, not as good as the Tau, but it's hard to be better than the Tau in that regard. Edit: and let's not forget that when your Aliens are the Tyrannids, Necrons, and Chaos Demons, Xenophobia becomes a natural consequence of hostile neighbors.

Now that’s facts

White scars:I am SPEED

@• _ • Hi His warriors like khorne flakes. And thats half of the reason why they have to kill everyone in sight, even their own kin

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE MILK FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES

@@gordonlove5121 Blizzard was developing a Warhammer game. During development the rights were lost. They created Warcraft from what they had. So since the beginning they were heavily inspired by GW universes yes.

The phrase for the Imperial Guard 😁

you'll make a good commisar

so... a slow day in the imperial guard

-Zapp Brannigan

@@georgetitsworth8919 thank you. now I want to create an imperial guard army with him at the head

All nulls are generally repulsive to anyone with a soul

Sisters of silence and gingers have it bad... because of the no soul thing

@@jessISaRicePrincess actually beings with very little souls don't get affected by warp stuff but nulls like the sisters of silence have negative soul like normal people have 1 they have -1.

@@here1359 is that lore? Because i read that nulls have no or little connection to the warp, that's different to the negative soul that you're talking about

@@jessISaRicePrincess While I'm a bit unclear on the exact definitions, there are indeed humans with a negative pshycic aura. These are the individuals that are turned into culexus assassins when discovered. And they are bone chillingly terrifying. A culexus's helmet is a weapon, as they use it to focus their negative null aura onto their target (typically a rouge psyker), which basically burns out the targets mind and soul, leaving only the body behind as a charred husk. But the helmet is also there to contain their null aura, since it has been trained and honed to such a degree that to a normal person, being in the same room as a culexus without it's helmet is pure agony that will make you go insane or beg for death if you stay in the room for to long. When deployed on missions, they have a handler from the assassin temple accompany them to make sure they don't come into contact with people unneccessarily. A culexus is also great at countering demons and chaos worshippers, and also the eldar (who possibly fear them even more than Slaneesh).

One of the things you're forced to deal with as an inquisitor is other inquisitors. Sometimes they think you're over the line, and they have all the same authority as you when they want to slap you down.

Eisenhorn !! I’m reading it right now and it’s amazing, first time reading warhammer stuff and i’m loving it

Dat Eisenhorn burn tho.

Hear hear, 69 has been achieved! Summon the Satans

Could have added: "one is angry, one is sick, one is tricky and one is horny"

@@djoucla9734 all of them Bitches.

And then there's that fifth Satan, but he's too edgy for he's own good so no one really pays attention to him and he's not represented on the tabletop due to legal issues. -Cue raging from the Malal/Malice diehards of the 40k community.-

We have sexy satan, edgy satan, troll satan, Neckbeard satan (don't forget the various alien Satans aswell)

PeeKayU see; “Luetin09” channel

@@pianospawn1 and Arch Warhammer, 40KTheories, and the Text-to-Speech series.

The BOogyman!

And A Border Prince, and Wolf Lord Row, and Oculus Imperia, and Baldermorts guide to warhammer, and i know im still forgetting some more really enjoyable channels.

@@pianospawn1 Luetin protects. Would never know as much about 40k without hin.

This is the best comment I've ever read. It actually made me laugh.

LOOOL

No no he's got a point

-Sun Tzu The Art of War

I think you've just summed up the entirety of Imperium doctrine.

*bolter holstered*

Social credit deducted

behaviour corrected

He didn't explain that Is there 20 or 18?

@@Ultraempoleon To my understanding, there are 20, but 2 of them committed such abhorrent and heinous acts that they were effectively wiped from existence and memory. Note: I am not an expert.

I love those special 3, the sisters of battle - basically battlenuns in space, the deathwatch - basically seal team 6 but against xenos , and the grey knights - space marines exorcis that eat daemons for breakfast

Its the same with the witchking in Lord of the Rings. No man can slay hin. Up comes a woman and stabs him in the face. I bet they got this idea from Tolkien

as much as I do think that is very funny and fitting for the universe, I'm not sure how I feel about the main female fighters only being there because men couldn't do it. But also meh who cares

@@roguepsykerhaaker4813 its not about men not being abled to do it. its about men not being allowed to do it. so creating an all female armed force still gave the imperial church a way to defend the faith without violating any laws thus being a target for the inquisition ( and yes , they do act against ANYONE)

@@raikbarczynski6582 I suppose able might have been the wrong word but my point still stands

I’m in

Good for you, sucks ass to me.

and he’s at least twice as disrespectful, especially to other races

RI shoutout lol

Wow , that in no way describes WH40K. Even in the slightest. WTF are you reading?

Yeah. goddang minis

I was given the black armor characters about ten or so with a few blue alien guys when I was a kid. I’m modeling my own board game mix with other mini figures like toy soldiers into a chess/conmand and conquer combo style game. Looked up to buy bull war hammer characters to gain ideas from and had no clue it’d cost thousands to afford to do so.

LMAO

"Even in debt I still serve."

So.......you're saying it's a commercial product?

Except them

Also the Lamenters, the poor guys

what about the imperial fists

@@imperialfist2527 What about them?

Boop the snoot of the barking toad

They kinda believe the Emperor is the embodyment of Omniscia so it's not total heresy

@@zeralmahib2549 yeah but that is basically the same as the clash between orthodoxy and catholicism in the sense that Catholics believed christ was a part of or the embodiment of god or whatever, while orthodox believed he was just the human son of god or whatever (not too big on religion), and that ended with two roman empires.

@@zeralmahib2549, Heresy is Heresy, but there is acceptable Heresy.......apparently XD There is no innocence, only to reason with guilt - *some random inquisitor dude*

@@notoffensivenpc8400 Yeah, but it's still Christianity you know, so as long as there are pagans and shit, they put their differences aside and fight united.

@@lkvideos7181 actually the Catholics ignored Constantinople during its final days until the byzantinians agreed to admit Catholicism was superior and after the Pope sent troops, it was too late. Also we can and have written tomes on what cunts the Catholics were to the protestants and how kings would order for the execution of believers in different sects of christianity. The only reason why the gap between orthodoxy and Catholicism is just now being filled is because people just care way less about religion and the churches aren't gaining political power from the gap like they used to. The main religion of the imperium (forgot the name) doesn't need and doesn't want a gap though since the tech freaks are way too valuable to have a religious conflict with, at least on a large scale, and the main religion already is too widely spread, where as the tech freaks are confined to one small red planet, so there is no risk in letting them run rampant.

Ah, the greatest sin of all: Common Sense

I prefer the Angry Marines myself. FUCK OFF!

Those guys are more or less canon, they’re called the Raptors

🤩 rationality as a sin!

And then there's their opposite chapter, the angry marines

This seriously made me LOL :P

ahem ...... 19 ........ I AM ALPHARIUS!

22

haha funny meme

There lore is as warm as there Flamers

AWW just likr pyro😀

Or maybe its the warmth of burning elf kids

It was also heart warming when Vulkan burned those Eldar children to death

*angry gas mask noises and battalions storming in his direction*

Thats because all you do is stay in trenches and breath toxic fumes as chaos marines crush your skulls into the 21st millenium, your gas masked odd balls are basically just mechanicus wannabes lol

for legal reasons, that was a joke

@@somebodysomewhere5571 mah man, call me an Admech wannabe one more time, you’re getting the shovel

@@johngun4377 my bayonet's fixed, and my lasgun's loaded.

What is the "Big E"?

@@liamcowling9906 The God Emperor of Mankind

@@liamcowling9906 The Emperor

@@liamcowling9906 HERETIC I'm just messing he's the emperor

There where 22 Primarchs. Alpharious was a twin and the prototyope "angel" went batshit. Then there where the deleted Primarchs.

Eren Jaeger approve

Trazyn: **laughs while stealing everyone's shit**

Adeptus Sororitas for ya.

@@tenacityxl religious extremism taken to new glorious heights. Have to get the holy word to the heretics somehow!

@Soloman Grundy It's raining hymns hallelujah. So that is the last thing you hear before a church crushes the life out of you and your comrades!

@Soloman Grundy well we both know it's raining more than just Hymns in 40k. (A hymn is a church song)

If that doesn't convert you i don't know what will

The imperium of man is evil though

They're the lesser evil, I'll give them that. That's why I'm an Imperial loyalist.

Inquisitorial Hotline, how can we Purge you?

@@brothercaptainaurelian1386 there appears to be a man who's speaking heresy in are area and is making us loyal citizens rather uncomfortable when the fastest u can get here to burn the heretic alive?

@@emmanuelwalton4557 On my way (loads Flamer with Purging intend) Could you futher elaborate on the Amount of fire needed?

What was noise?

Nice TF2 reference, ngl

@@jjef8706 the sound of your god you filthy one heart

@@emiliianoportillo1311 doctor blew other one up :(

Sisters of battle: *Lol*

Space Wolf: Mmm.

These Grey Knights are a myth, where ever did you hear something silly like that? Now if you'll all follow me out back to the conveniently dug trench that looks in no way like a mass grave, that'd be just peachy.

Other guardsman : My time has come

Honestly, "I'm in danger" is the ground state of everyone living in the 40K universe, at all times.

Also, if you somehow kill one they violently explode, killing you and everyone else in the room. Some of the chems they're injected with turns them into a living bomb that will trigger when their heart stops beating.

What happens when the Eversors complete their mission, how do they get them ready for their next mission?

@@quinnloneheart9906 Probably with some chip implanted inside them.

@@quinnloneheart9906 they get their orders via hypnosis. Orders being mostly "kill that, don't kill that"

@@quinnloneheart9906 think of them less as a soldier and more of a living artillery shell.

Sad Lamenter noises

*sad stomp stomp*

Sad kriegsmen gasmask noises.. He only desires to give his life so others may live. Come to think of it most of the guardsman are good folk defending their homes.

Sad necron noises

I mean, the salamanders are quite fond of burning xenos children

Does it work? (the prayer)

Yes

What is the prayer so I can fix my toaster

but isnt that hericy?

@@collinlogan4170 no since TECHNICALLY the ohmnissia is the emperor but also they make your guns so not heresy

@@jocosesonata Ironically enough... I and some others were laid off 2 weeks ago. Heretics indeed.

What do you mean by "of course"? The difference between heresy and treachery is ignorance!

@@rylandvance5304 herecticsssss

As an I.T. tech I too worship and pray to the same machine spirits.

Not just machinery and tech jobs, all I have to fix is the Hoover and I pray for the omnissiahs guidance

Yooo same

Me right now. However, I did buy the first Eisenhorn book, so I guess you could say this is getting pretty serious /s.

But of course

Pseudo sanct bruh this makes starcraft lore look like a 1 min advertisement

You get to luetin09 yet?

Same energy as begging and pleading for your car with a dodgy alternator and starter to please crank over so you can drive it to the garage if you can afford it, home if you can't.

Slowly pulls out photo to call Inqustion

@@eduardojara6955 *phone?

@@THExRISER yes thank you

@@THExRISER *vox?

Bought the game for the music (and because it only costed me 10 bucks) and totally loved it!

you mean it appeased your laptop's Machine Spirit

@@djoucla9734 yeah, so it made itself known for the first time :D

@@flawlesstheory5111 If it took music to awaken your laptops machine spirit then you have not been praying hard enough or applying scented oils.

@@ruvinluciano4369 I was too busy studying so I can serve the Omnissiah in the future

I don't remember the book's name, but there is a quote for when some Wordbearers hear the phrase "The GOD Emperor" from an inquisitor, and just absolutely lose their sh*t rofling in front of her(?) because... it means they won. As far as they were concerned, the Wordbearers goal of divining the Emperor succeeded

@@bogdangabrielonete3467 the emperor said himself, he never wanted to be seen as a god by his people. Which sucks that that is what is currently happening. I hope something happens where they respect him but don't reveer him as a god. Because I love how (somewhat) humble he is. Feel super bad for the guy.

@@mojn4249 No the emperor never wanted to be an idol. The post mortem forced him into that role after the Horus heresy.

Why do I imagine it as TFS' vegetas' maniacal laugh?

@@mojn4249 After thousands and thousands of humans worshipping him, it's safe to say he's a God now.

Been looking for something like this

Tanks :3

You're appreciated

Replying to boost

hopefully you get pined or hearted for your work

"kill me I'm in constant agony"- emperor

"I need to go to the bathroom" but it's repeated 400 thousand times.

"I want to scratch my nose so bad" - The Man Emperor of Mankind -

"Where is my sentient newspaper?" -Big E, probably

“Bro kill me I’ll just come back”-Big E

Nothing is impossible if you believe hard enough Want proof? Look about basically anything involving Orcs in this universe

@@DMDarren correct me if im wrong but basically the dimension people use to teleport is made by the ideas and imagination of people, so if a large group of people believe hard enough, basically becomes real

@@danielruiz8259 Yep. Old Ones just made it so that Orks (Krorks too, if you wanna be historical) have an easier time about it.

@@danielruiz8259 The only known humans who have faith strong enough to manifest literal miracles are the sisters of battle. Their faith is different to grey knights or custodies, as custodies are literally designed and gene coded to be 100% loyal to the emperor and no1 else, and grey knights condition themselves so that they see themselves as living manifestations of the emperor's divine will. The Sisters however, see themselves as willing human servants of the god of humanity. And their faith is so strong it actually enables the emperor to influence the material world. This is why the sisters army on the tabletop has an actual mechanic that is the manifestation of miracles (called "miracle dice"), and is essentially things like avoiding killing blows that should have hit, critically injuring their opponents with spooky ease, and other similar things. In the official trailer where you see sisters, primaris marines and necrons, you see a perfect example of a sister using prayer to heal a lethal injury caused by a necron weapon. While the sisters are possible for chaos to corrupt, they take a LOT of time and effort before they finally break. Grey Knights use shitload of specific anti-demon measures where even their names are crafted to have an arcane anti-demon effect, and the purest among them (the purifyers) have an aura around them that literally burns demons to ash slowly if then simply stand to close to the purifyer. The custodies are so unbreakably loyal by design that a demon once remarked that even with constant efforts, the heat death of the universe would have time to happen before a custodian could ever become corrupted.