andrineslife lol

WTF LastWeekTonight Is this troll from someone else or is your account hacked or something?

Yes IAmInNightMode It's a spambot that copied LWT and pretends to be the real thing.

I always said this about Anna Faris... House Bunny Movie Sexy as all, but not up close!

the old saying was "good from far, far from good." this one is much better. good choice andrineslife

That's why he had to move to the US because Americans are oblivious. The rest of us think of this stuff all the time.

[CONTROVERSIAL INDIVDUAL] the [UNPLEASANT EVENT] that looks like an [UNUSUAL ANIMAL] f*cked an [OBSCURE ITEM].

He doesn't even say that on this episode.

I've heard of it because it's my job. And he's totally right 😂😭

Don't forget the "I'm an expert on it because I throw in an occasional joke"

I love that line.

That was one classy burn.

Late 1980s*

The way I kackled

Tax revenue goes in, profits go to the Seychelles for the benefit of people who then get the clowncar convoys to chant "no taxes, small government!" like they actually understand what they're enabling.

That's why they have this huge military and refuse to defend the constitution... they have zero intention on paying it back ... it's time for private armies for corporations

It's also what happens when you allow the Insurance industry to bribe our politicians so they can get paid from our tax dollars for doing almost nothing. It's a corrupt system all around.

Absolutely. This is exactly why private companies shouldn't be involved in this sort of thing. The government started this program so that it wouldn't have to pay out so much in disaster relief, but since it ultimately foots the bill now anyway, and then pays fees to the insurance industry on top of that, it has actually increased the costs to the taxpayer, while siphoning money off to insurance companies. It's the same reason your healthcare is so gaddamned expensive.

@@puckerings ukposts.info/have/v-deo/sqKKnaydZJd6koU.html

for me it's 3 questions "was a person under the desk?" or "was there a trapdoor under is desk encase the skit calls for a 3rd hand?" and is after thinking about the 2nd question "has every time John grab something under his desk it wasn't just out of view but through a trap door that leads to a large room full of props from past videos and props for the with live video feed of John and lights to warn the person when to give John the thing or do the thing they're needed to do?"

I wanna know how to become his intern lmao

SilentLoneWolf Not the one that shows up at about 5:20

Paradox Wyvrn Jesus, you looked way to into that... I want that desk now

That was my ✋...

Danny Kopp That seagull deserves its own section in the show.

What if I told you that wasn't a puppet...🐥

I think the puppeteer might be Noel MacNeal... It sounds a lot like Bear in the Big Blue House.

Jawschlarsen It is. According to Wikipedia, he's the resident puppeteer for John Oliver and Last Week Tonight.

Oh my god...mind blown

Thank you for reminding me of bear in the big blue house.

Damn... Bear in the Big Blue House... That sure takes me back.

You're telling me the man who sang to the moon every episode is the same man that told Bob Murray to eat shit?

@@Znotyou14 yep

Dude you have too much time on you're hands get a life.

Quentin Wach Exactly! Ppl are commenting on the funny seagull jokes but aren’t saying anything about some guy having to stare at John’s crotch for 20 mins lol

Poor guy

how did you know John's nickname for his testicles?

@@stevefutterer573 LOL

#Agreed

But then you don't because something caught your eye when you hit the youtube front page again.

Nathan Rish Totally agree. The seagulls have got to go. We don't have enough Tostitos on the planet to feed all those mfers.

In my case I have to go to work in 20 minutes. If you want to make changes in Washington you have to pay lobbyists to bribe politicians more than corporations do. Good luck with that.

That kind of journalism is an endangered specie

Yeah. I would be shocked if there's not at least one vending machine in the building with Tostitos.

noooooo! Don't fall into the trap.

Max Ernst He is good, although I think he can overdo some of the tangents he goes on.

@@7Lace77 agreed. Some of them are funny, but most make me cringe a bit.

Too bad it isn't satire

He has a team of writers brainstorming his every word, so he's the funniest teleprompter reader

Magic man John writes the majority of the script, actually.

He's yelling at a fake bird...sanity?

Maybe he is just the world's sanity embodied?

There's a certain irony to that feeling.

In a world where empathy is insanity, sanity is insanity

@@laylascrimgeour-brown1603I feel like that’s a paradox

The majority of the US population is along water. This is pretty much true for any country on Earth. Your reasoning does not work.

That still doesn't change a thing about the fact you'll happily give to the rich, now for example in corporate tax cuts, but get your jimmies rustled when its about affordable healthcare for people who'd otherwise live shitty lives because of jacked up medical expenses.

Simple. Because flood prone states have a lot of swing voters.

Not to mention that it would be a hell of a lot cheaper to help poor people move away from flood zones than to rebuild their houses a dozen times. And it would be so much healthier for them too. And every major country with universal health care pays less than people in the US do for health care, and for better outcomes.

@@flewkisdead source?

Tis the season

Coincidence I think not😅

^ I wouldn't click on that. That is, of course, not the real "LastWeekTonight" channel. Click on the link to their channel and you'll see this lastweektonight has no videos up. Of course don't click on the "goo.gl" link though.

Yoo. I got that same notification, lotsa rain today in the northeast- geez

Ug, that stupid frog

😂

Apparently that saying should have been your knees instead of your feet

The short version is : America

We have a version of that in English too: “arrogant dumbass”

I've never eaten tostitos in my life, what are they?

Thomas Ford it’s a brand of corn chips. Pretty good, imo.

USA: socialize the costs, privatize the profits.

It's really addictive.

Very addictive!

Yay brainwashing!

Mansplained Why are you here, then?

I did the same thing the first time I saw one of his videos

NFSHeld i bet rich folks don't have the same limitations on their flood insurance.

Rich folks can afford high premiums.

NFSHeld as a german this episode is in deed one of the weirdest to watch..

i highly doubt it. Merkel can't even fix your border.

Jonny Dark Honey, she'd needa change the law for that. But luckily, even with refugees, our crime rates are still far lower than in the US :) The only thing Merkel did wrong concerning immigration and refugees was not to install better programs and such. If they could work & be supervised while doing so (even if it's just making a garden or maybe renovating an old house which again would benefit them without the state having to pay a lot), then there would definitely be less crime. Also, they should have gotten a bit more opportunities to learn the language and about the values that they have to accept here.

You are doing the work thousands should be. I congratulate you, sir.

Shim Novak facts I’ve learned more from John then in college

JjOpoku55 I’m learning more from this show then from my high school

And subtly mentioning that people live in a water body (seriously Tampa Bay is water, Tampa is the city)

I love the fact that someone managed to see this detail

FenriS Aww, it's the little things

so wholesome

Do you really love that or did you just see it and now want likes for it.

I think he does love it and one day he's gonna marry it and they're going to have kids together

You mean “a bird bullies other birds for 20 minutes”

f*ck birds.

​@@ASHl33164 🤣

Quidfacis I need to get that on my phone

That chart shows that sea level is up 8 cm in 20 years. Great argument.

That is a lot.

Are you really just saying the same argument to every comment? 8cm is a fuckton. You're either trolling or willfully ignorant if you don't think that is significant. No one can possibly be that dumb.

If you think the seas rising by 3 inches per 20 years is not a sufficient argument for the severity of climate change, you're a fucking idiot. You just are.

That chart shows that sea level is up 8 cm in 20 years. Great argument.

calholli do you realize how much water is required to raise the WHOLE OCEAN 8cm? Please get a brain

calholli I mean, if your argument is that sea levels are steadily rising, then showing that sea levels are steadily rising IS a pretty great argument.

also, 8 cm is a GIGANTIC increase with serious consequences. this is like those people who don't think + 5 degrees is a big increase....when it REALLY REALLY is if you understand the science at all.

Apparently, it's twice the rate of increase than the previous 80 years. (www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/global-warming/sea-level-rise/ ) That's the _mean_ level. It can have a great impact between high and low tides. Hence, why low lying areas are in danger of more flooding. I know it doesn't seem like much but it is a _huge_ amount of moisture being added into play with the atmosphere. And when it changes forms (as in when it condenses into rain), that translates into HUGE amounts of energy being in play. Thus, bigger and more powerful storms.

Lake gulls are the best kept secret (shhhh)

@@tomat6362 Now I'm curious! Where do you mean? I assume they're around the great lakes region, but are they also around lakes in places like Nebraska?

Seagulls are everywhere across America when weather is good

melissa saint don’t know about Nebraska but in Wisconsin yes we have seagulls or lake gulls I guess but yes, they are places that don’t have water- and that’s why they’re always hanging out around Walmart

@@tomat6362 Yup, central Illinois, can confirm. In the Shop 'n' Save parking lots. Damn Cheetos addicts.

Nice 😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉🎉

overlord2304 We also don't build houses in the seawater, at least not without first preventing the sea from reaching that house ever again. Our country is also a lot smaller and more densely populated, so making sure what little land we have stays dry is much more financially viable. Yet even in the Netherlands, the goverment has been lacking when it comes to strenghtening the dams and dunes sufficiently according to our own safety rules, because as long as there is no flood there's no financial incentive to try and prevent floods. Preventing floods is expensive (even though if the area is densely populated enough the potential costs of covering the damages are much greater) Of course, this doesn't apply to to parts of the US that are densely populated and yet are flood-risk areas, where enough money could be gathered to prevent floods in these areas.

Yeah but your coastline is tiny compared to ours. Even if you consider the per capita or per gdp qualifiers, it's way way easier for y'all to deal with your floods.

Dude gtfoh you live in a Nordic country. You guys have common sense and shit

...you also host zero hurricanes, which cause a major portion of US floods. Must be nice.

Last time I checked the Netherlands don’t have flash floods and hurricanes.

You really need to find a better choice in life....Comedy is not something you are good at.

Stand up is clever but needs practice

May I recommend you not choose comedy as your hobby

I bet oliver and the seagul have a lot in common actually

*Ariel Kozak* Like a love of Tostitos...

Lol go eat a chip u dumb bird.

This is America so your addiction is an opportunity. Let's addict seagulls to heroin and send them to rehab... we'll make a fortune!

I hate seagulls every ducking summer you nest next to my window. Then you make noise all fucking day and night. Go fuck yourselves

@@nmarrs8539 scuse me while I hop on over to my local Tostito dispensary

Get out of here you flying beach rat!

MrGear 1000 degree tostito vs seagull

How else do you think he got those Emmys?

It's the 1000 degree knife meme lord!!!

That's the magic of John Oliver.

*airhorn sounds

Joe Favela Now that's dedication!

Lived there ten years and I'm not surprised in the least, pretty normal stuff down there. Thanks for the story made me miss home.

Maggie E Of course, no other solution.

Should have bought a pontoon houseboat and moored it there. Best long term investment and it’s flood proof

We should have a regulation that once we the taxpayers have paid out more than the property is worth, we should buy the owner out, raze the house, and declare the property ineligible for habitation. Turn it into a park. Get people out of harm's way. We also need to change the building codes, to require higher elevation of homes in flood-prone areas. Just as we can build homes that don't collapse in earthquakes, we can build homes that don't get flooded. (And homes built in "Tornado Alley" should be required to have a "safe room" to protect the people who live there.) Just put some engineers in charge, instead of lawyers, and we can fix things.

I KNOW RIGHT?! LOL

SOUNDS LIKE BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE OMGGG

God Damn

AirbusPvP >:(

AirbusPvP How hard would it have been to get a real seagull. :(

shaduup scammer

Are they actually addicted to them?

اع نىلغ ش"تتذظ1ءر &&/1

I ❤ mosquitoes.

Every night means 1-3 new bites at least. I remember it even in a nice suburb house on a gold course surrounded by bayou.

Same. I'm literally doing a report on climate change and flooding, and I'm going to ask my teacher if I can use this as a source.

Yep, people who actually make a study of geography we see this constantly. You just have to suppress the facepalms and go see Geostorm drunk. Like falling down drunk. So drunk that your Uber driver will call for a Lyft to take you to the theater. Drunk geographers at disaster movies is a thing.

CrimsonBlasphemy haha best description of drunkeness I've ever heard. And now I feel like I have to study geography or I'll be missing out... Thanks a lot... I hate geography >.

people still study geography?

HAHA that's amazing! I mean it's probably very well researched so why not?

Trinomitri cheers, I can relate

Me too.

Trinomitri when it's 3:30, you got 2 tests tomorrow, and you said last video... but It's John Oliver

same here.

Me too. Homework to do. But it's Oliver.

Blue Kirkpatrick OH MY GOD BLUE!!! HIIIIII ❤❤

Ahahahaha!

Respec the Wahmen, don't attac

Geese are terrifying. They can kill you.

Fight geese on the downs, fight them on the beaches...

Must of been ranch flavored lol

you're lucky that's all the goose did

Tammie Heazlit - I really wish state and local governments employed more people like you full time to properly plan and upgrade our municipalities. Currently where I live in Florida, a new development has been approved right on the water unanimously by the city council with no requirements to mitigate the flooding that *_will_* eventually happen. ::sigh::

and guess what i'm doing for work now? Massage, or therapeutic bodywork, as there are no jobs for someone like me. Everyone tells me how knowledgeable on the subject, and that i'm a polished presenter. BUt it doesn't make any difference. And now with Pruitt head of the EPA, its just going to get much worse.

Olaf Ulaf that had me laughing so hard. 1980s! Ha!

Nikkolas Godin and Brits

+

Right?

Amen

What? I can’t hear you over people repeatedly apologising.

Will Stern Because you don't pay attention in class.

Axel Tenveils Spitting Facts

Because you feel like a hero for listening for 30 min on youtube whereas listening for hours a day feels like work. And it is work

Will Stern It's actually proven that the human mind retains more information when you laugh. It's actually pretty scary. You could potentially use that psychological quirk to brainwash people...

Will Stern because you have shit education? Maybe take advantage of the internet and an encyclopedia (you know, hard copy of imfo just incase your flooded); )

@_Paws_ : Houses with bags of Tostitos.

And eat all of your tostitos

I vant some tostitos.

Cawww cawwwwwwww

Do you have any Tostitos?

He doesnt endorse

Sure probably but i wish it was a got any grapes at the end

Truth Robot educate yourself and you might not be brainwashed

The Modern Investor 90% of time its because the area is beatiful or really affordable

In Houston, for example, homes in flood planes happen to be the cheapest.

The Modern Investor No matter where you go, there are natural disaster possibilities. People just chose to deal with those ones.

It is simply because of ignorance. They don't teach any of this in school, so we all have to learn it the hard way, learning from mistakes.

The Modern Investor North-Snowstorms/blizzards, West Coast- Earthquakes, Midwest-tornadoes, East Coast- Hurricanes, South-Hurricanes/tornadoes

John Oliver for president.

Because he was born in England

@Tildin Han nope, because you need to be a natural born citizen to become us president

because he has an army of writers that make him seem funny

@@ozinusa Sure, he's got an army of writers, but he's not just a puppet for their words. He is himself the head writer. And he's very funny when speaking off the cuff with Colbert and other hosts.

They probably looked up the word "waterschapsverkiezingen" and just ran away at the prononciation.

lots ofthings Welcome to the USA. ‘Nuff said. Sometimes, I want to tell this country to fuck themselves.

lots ofthings my hypothesis is that it is kind of a 'first world problem' taken to an extreme. Some people have gotten so comfortable with a lot of the securities, freedoms and conveniences the country provides, they are unwilling to give them up for anything, even if that means blindly rejecting the obvious (to us) truth. That, and circlejerking on the internet and television validating idiots and there are big companies also profiting from a lot of those idiots.

Peppo I wish there were more people like you. But I am honest and say that, although I try to environmental-friendly, I don’t have an electric car or very eco-friendly house. But this is not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t have the money. (Except the car-thing, I love cars and would always prefer a car with a combustion engine over an elecric car)

Not exactly unheard of, I'm Dutch and I've had these discussions with other Dutch people, and that's coming from the country at least 60% below sea level...

Tom Sistermans were those the same people that voted for Geert Wilders?^^

Nice meme. I shall steal it from you!

Lol tru 😭

You did.

in spanish *TOSTADA* is a tortilla made it like crips chips, so *TOSTITOS* is a slang from it

In the Netherlands, Tosties are roasted bread with cheese.

Cheetos. Fritos. Doritos... Tostitos. Yeah. You got it.

this *tostito*

Matthew Hayes baited with Tostitos

You won't believe what them seagulls would do for a munch.

Future sporting events will have aerial coverage provided by Tostitos addicted seagulls with GoPros.

Damn why couldn’t that be the joke

mom pls stop using this account to watch him thats the only thing reccomended now

If your house floods more than once from anything other then a water main break, you are at risk. Simple as that

@CardinalGamer: "No Tostitos" should be a Weird Al parody of Despacito. 😂

Despacito, Tostitos? This is USA don't let them invade us.

Swiper no tostitos!!😂😂

@Au Realfantasy This is USA it's always been multi-cultural.

That could be said of virtually any seagull.

Right. Just because you liberals think you understand our countries

yes

Dubai! Not everyone that dislikes the President is a fucking LIBERAL, get that through your fucking heads already! FFS! I'm tired of having to say this to idiots!

I'll elect it as president. Hey, if it's anything close to anyone, the seagull would get high on Tostitos, like Obama on weed. And it can't tweet, so there's that.

You get to pick your own French fries out of the garbage can.

LastWeekTonight you can't fool me you glorified ad bot

LastWeekTonight Bloody Hell. I hate the ugly bastards that run these bots.

Mimiron's Head so 2 weeks he is gone so now your back world is back in the norm again I'm not depressed anymore

Vo7tron

Joham Joham I get the reference

Oh please. Do you know how expensive rent is on the Sun?

At least you don't have to pay for heating

Yeah, but the commute to work is a bitch!

We don't like change. Well that and if there is money being made it does not matter.

Capitalism. Just...capitalism.

Disappointed Turtle Because the last ‘good’ generation fought in World War 2.

USA is built from the ground up on deep rooted corruption to keep the powerful powerful and the poor without any voice. It's the furthest thing from a Democracy yet it's "Land of the Free." Free to enslave.

Disappointed Turtle Like in every other country?

Don Parkison If you own a home you should have to have flood insurance. IMO the problem is that they only give you the insurance in flood zone areas.

Don Parkison same. GIS is much better now and I can't believe those ancient maps are still used..

GIS based flood plane modeling could produce a better answer, but I believe there is something in the law that says it has to be surveyed by engineers on the ground. Its the enormous cost of doing the survey that is keeping them from doing it. But yea, they should just change that part of the law to allow the software to get closer to an acceptable answer than the professionally surveyed data from 40 years ago.

@@LeolaGlamour They only REQUIRE flood insurance in flood prone areas. They don't GIVE you anything.

@@daleinaz1 I don’t believe it’s required it’s optional

Oh no....

If you are tired of being brainwashed by leftist media, check out politically incorrect on 4chan

sdfsadfasdf You are part of the problem

Yu tell em KidSnivy!

sdfsadfasdf NO POLITICS THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY