Artie Anderson,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist......

@@jamesarmstrong4179 🚩

100% true

Not only that, they try too hard to make you believe that you are in pain... they manipulate you all the time to feel less...

So true

Sue B isn't that the truth!

EXACTLY...

Perfectly stated

On point !!!!!!!!

Very good. In describing my ex and the things he did in our divorce, I described his thinking as "Right is whatever I can get away with."

That's how it works, unfortunately.

@@SurvivingNarcissism Extremely true 🍀🙏

Or her..

Yep and it’s never them ..because they like outsiders to think it’s you

@@heatherpesterfield8121 yes they Most Surely do 💯percent God Bless You

And at best walk past the entry!

Took me long enough... & I also put out there , for next time an arrest is possible let it happen for Pete's sakes, stop covering for him.

Yes.

Totally agree.

Go 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Boring but evil. We can't let ourselves be dulled by their shallowness.

@Mary Carroll u Right

My sister goes to such lengths to discredit me when I figured her out. I said I make accurate observations and I've proved that to myself time a d time again over the years... She told me outright I don't make accurate observations, and that nothing I've ever observed has ever been true..and the responsibility was on me to find the better explanation rather than on her to change so that I don't have anything bad to observe....that was blasphemy to her ears ..total projection.

Very true

Correct 👏👏👏

Agree with you on that point.

@@peetsz3732 God bless you Thnks for your response ➕🍀🙏Terrible shme they are this way, bec@use it does, to an extent, plant seeds of doubt, concerning the persons nme/ character they're sme@ring➕🍀🙏

They will, in time, yes. But, they'll be afraid they'll be treated just as badly if they dare to side with you on anything. They find it easier to fill the role of a flying monkey. Trust only in God and learn to respect your trust in God.

@@umarae27 Yes this is extremely true 👍🍀God bless you 🙏i oftentimes think, it's so simple to be wise with hindsight God bless you 🙌🍀🙏Like we must indeed trust God's guidance, His inner voice, our intuition, trying to s@ve us from destruction & dmging people ✌️🍀🙏God tries to forewarn us, but sometimes we didn't recognise that God ws spe@king to us, forewarning us, through our Loved Ones

David Dobrik Sam Bankman Fried😉

That part

I know.

They are very dangerous people!

Most definitely. Especially if you notice an action when they aren’t aware you see them. Like a toddler throwing a fit.

Also need to pray for the sociopathic narcissists

Vengeance is of the Lords. Clearly the injured Narc doesn't know God (Jesus), because of all their back biting, back stabbing, gossiping & vindictive behavior. God despises the proud/egotist (Narc), but gives grace to the humble. A proud man/woman (narc) rarely cares to know God, because they are too busy looking down their nose at the world around them and can't know the one above it all = God. Pride goes before destruction. Haughty spirit goes before a fall and one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess Jesus is Lord of all (Daniel 7:13,14). Isaiah 53 👀 John 16:33

YEA! My son mom would rather break up then to prove that she’s not lying to me

@@jsf8145 that is so true. I actually asked a particular one this week thinking they were a Christian and he said he thought Jesus and God were made up. He said God had a poor way of showing him anything. I was shocked.

No reconciliation is possible....but revenge?? I think revenge can set you on the same path they are on!

Sorry you been thru that, he was a weaken man to do such a thing to you.

I agree wholeheartedly ! Trust your guts ! I myself am guilty of not listening to my “ inner alert system “ ! In my defence I had no idea that there are people in this world that operate without a conscience.

Feona I can relate so much. I dated a girl at work recently. I saw the signs of borderline narcissism, but chose to ignore them. The seduction, where she'd squeeze my waist when going past my station. Her "all or nothing" arguments. The belittlement ("Are you stupid, can you not read? Do you not remember, you idiot? You're not trying. You don't give a fuck"). She lied about her best friend and housemate. Her lack of empathy. I told her my business was struggling, her response was, "You poor baby.". I am more annoyed at myself because I ignored it. Probably because I thought I could "fix" her, now I know that will never happen.

Well said Feona.

Fiona I just went thru this, still am getting over it now!! It’s painful but I have to keep going!!

Julie Abraham,You are absolutely gorgeous,you don't need a narcissist in your life.....

I'm in an ex wives club. Even the first who left him 20 years ago is still trying to heal. It's great to compare notes and endorse that idea that they never ever change.

This sounds like how my wife describes me! She is diabolical! No one believes me.

The smartest thing you ever did, No. 1. Run! No. 2. Expect no compensation! Bravo!

@@allennorman1628 I believe u. This woman is probably a liar too.

That was a phrase I often heard in the military. Superiors would say, "It's really just a problem of mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter." I gave them 12 years but couldn't take any more of the BS and escaped.

Agreed...I was his scapegoat until I slammed him on it

And more-all he can do for you to dare to leave his greatness delusion.

Hey Girl, as long as you removed him from your life your on the right road now stay far from that. Oh Yeah.

Or mother

my husband did too. EVERYTHING. How scary

A snake is a snake.

That's what it means to "walk on eggshells". Sometimes you can feel these snakes are looking for any excuse to strike.

@@wifferstess2824 I’ve walked on eggshells but that didn’t have fangs! 🙂

Great analogy. People call dubious people " a snake in the grass " for a reason .

Yes, and whenever I've forgotten they are snakes is when I've been bitten. Great insights Susan!

EXACTLY DON'T ENGAGE

👏🏽

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I agree. To me everyone is angry, selfish and cant be trusted

This is what happened to alot of ET's.

@@amnrasellassie sorry, what is a ET ?

@@irishelinac extraterrestrials .... And their demise

No, you don't sound crazy. I think we do live in a world that has become a very scary place. I'm 63 years old now and it's such a completely different place than it used to be. All the dishonesty. All the takers, scammers...so many people out there that make their living out of stealing from innocent people. And they do prey on the elderly. Everything has moved on and changed so much during my lifetime. Is hard to keep up with it all.

Yes great idea, I am one such soul appreciating these pouring out of similar heartaches 👍

Me too. I really appreciate the honest sharing that percolates in the comments sections, as well as Dr C's wonderful help.

I think the comments section is just as educational as the video session itself.

Amen to that! Thank you all, it makes it a little easier to shoulder when you see these encouraging comments.

I have found through educating myself through these videos that I am NOT ALONE,IM NOT CRAZY. IT HELPS TO REALIZE IM NOT ALONE IN THIS. THANK YOU FOR SHARING 🤗

Then they tell you that you are as handy as a pocket on a shirt.

🎃

I so agree with you, Tom! Dr. C

💯💯 agree with u... strong boundaries only

Tom, your insight is so smart and on point! In my personal experiences with several different narcissists over the years, I somehow survive d and came out alive by unknowningly doing things and handling situations almost exactly as you suggested. A narcissist hates it when you don't give into their need for control and let them know that you don't agree to their demands and opinions. Lucky for me, I was not ever married to one, but was in a sexual relationship with one. The fact that we lived in different cities (although only two hours drive apart) was a big help!!! I hope that the other people going through something like I did can tactfully break the relationship off. In my case, my partner had a violent temper that could arrupt at the drop of a hat! I became physically afraid of him and luckily told him I didn't want to continue seeing him before he directed his violence toward me. My advice is to have other people you know and trust around you(a public place is best) and don't raise your voice or let him talk you into continuing the relationship, just say you can't explain why you are ending it, you just feel you have to. By not embarrassing that person or giving a specific reason, they have no grounds for talking you out of it. Keep it brief and polite. Then leave with your friends and stay somewhere else for that night and maybe the next night or two. Don't take their calls or respond to their possibly many vile, hateful critical messages. Stay strong and don't be tempted to call back and reciprocate with any kind of.message!!! Just thank God that you were able to get out of that relationship with your life. Sadly Gabby Pettito wasn't so lucky!!!

Just had a friendship sever because I called her out on her trying to manipulate my point of view. Your comment gave me some comfort. While she’s not a huge narcissist a deliberately controlling but she fit all that you just write on

Thank you Tom. I’ve been telling him no a lot and. No to marriage, no to kids, no to moving out with him and have called him out on things. He also insults me to but then tries to change. He’s also jealous. It’s get super old.

❤🙏

Only God knows if someone is beyond redemption…Jesus’ death on the cross was for everyone meaning…no one is beyond redemption it’s just that only God can do it, not us.

@@scep8551 GOD gives us choice. If you reject CHRIST and follow the devil and his ways, you are beyond redemption. Hell will be full. CHRIST went to the CROSS for everyone and our sin. He already did it. Not all will benefit for the sole purpose of rejecting and never believing that they sin.Hebrews 12:17😊

@@scep8551 just remember sweet believer that the scripture says that “some” are given over to a reprobate mind. That is an unredeemable condition. Also, blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is an unpardonable sin. What is the one sin He hates most? Hint, his angel of music was cast out of heaven for it! It is pride, arrogance, which is one major characteristic these folks ALL have. Leviathan has taken them over. See what God himself says of leviathan in the book of Job. And google it as well. (John Eckart has explained leviathan really well in his book “Deliverance & Spiritual Warfare Manual”.) A narcissist has been taken over by the spirit of leviathan and that is one tough beast! One must have a repentant heart in order to be redeemed and acknowledge the need for (and receive the) Savior. They will not, no cannot do that because they believe they are the highest and most worthy. When folks think that the narcissists are redeemable through Christ they miss the point that God WILL NOT, CAN NOT usurp a persons will. You may disagree with that but what I am saying is sound biblical doctrine. In Hosea (book of) God spoke through the prophet saying My people perish for lack of knowledge. Just as there are judicial, governmental and scientific laws, there are spiritual laws as well. These can not be broken. That is why Jesus came in the form of man, so that legally man could be spiritually redeemed. God is certainly able to help someone rid themselves of leviathans influence but the individual has to want it (and a narcissist rejects God & mankind). Sometimes we love or care for others so much we will not believe the facts, we co-dependently make excuses or rationalize their behaviors which leads us to cognitive disassociation which in turn creates constant stress in our bodies resulting in adrenal fatigue and physical symptoms; and May eventually cause physical and mental breakdowns which eventually renders the victim helpless to make optimal choices for themselves and others. Very few therapists or Dr.s who are well acquainted with narcissists will agree that they are capable of changing their ways/behaviors/(evil tactics - my words). If empaths or Christians with Godly character (however you want to label it) do not ever acknowledge the truths about these folks they will never come to the point of healing what has been damaged within and returning (or getting to) a deep level of personal productivity and satisfaction in life much less be effective in sharing faith or influencing others regarding the gospel (good news) of Christ! No healthy person really wants to listen to (much less follow) a victim for a long period of time. You can be healed. You can become healthy. You can overcome! But not without education, understanding, faith, perseverance and facing hard truths. I hope this is received in a spirit of love which is how it was intended. Hopefully it did not come off harsh, critical or offensive. I truly wish all the best for you to include healing health and well-being as well as success in relationships and all things. Dr. Les Carter is a wonderful educator and a supportive advocate for healing and restoration of the soul broken by a narcissist (s)! Thank you Dr. C!! I appreciate you immensely! Dr. C. Dignity, Respect, Civility! Awesome!

@@Carol-nt1gk ...Thankyou for that very supportive and enlightening expounding, Sis. God Bless and reveal more gems of His kingdom ! X ;)

They don't want to "change"! Money is their god, and greed is the energy that they run on!

So true.

It was most definitely NOT you, Dear Katara Rose. Take good care and allow yourself to heal.

Yes, it’s so liberating when you come to understand the narcissistic disease, the more knowledge you have the stronger you become and they will be completely oblivious to your inner strength.

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37 years, you poor sausage, God bless your soul x

I discovered Dr. Carter a year ago and almost 33 years of marriage feeling the same way. We must be married to the same man! If my husband and I weren't Christians things would be extremely different for us. It's all about being on Team Healthy. God bless you Suzanne.

@@deborahjohnson8853 Thank you for your reply. I don't understand how a Christian husband can be so cruel. I try to do everything I can to make him happy. Well, I've switched teams... I on team healthy now.

32yrs for me. Always wondering if you're crazy or what the nicer you are the worst they treat you and 1% of you hopes they will change but they won't run

Your narcissistic husband husband studied you carefully before proposing. He was confident you would tolerate his ways and stay with him.

Me too, 25 years. Things he did, I can't repeat yet. I've been out 5 months now, and healing. When i think about my story, i get panic attacks. Hope you're doing okay. Godspeed.

I feel you

Your comment reminded me how many times I’ve told people “Dr Phil and Steve Harvey wouldn’t even believe my story”. SMH and I’m 8 years in right now I hope all of us end up spending some of the best years of our lives when we all finally get away from abuse I also didn’t realize all the explanations and traits untill a few years ago bcuz this person is so mysterious and quiet and was nice at first but man after so many times of cheating and all the crying and hurt he’s had to hear outta me afterwards he’s started to resent me and show all these traits and more putting me thru hell if I even offend him accidentally or disagree and the part that scares me the most is I just had his baby a few months ago now I have a whole new reason to keep trying but I’m dying inside and don’t want my baby even to be exposed actually to this nonsense outlooks and dark ways

@@sammorton2023stay strong .dont give in to the fear it is what they feed on..Do what you can to protect you and the baby.Speak out dont suffer in silence.

@@sammorton2023 Be very aware when the quiet, sneaky, malignant type is alone with your baby. If he's upset over something you didn't do, he will hurt your baby to get back at you. Take your baby and run, the narc-hole isn't worth the pain you will inevitably go through.

Leaving them with the children , the assets,.. leaving ... all the time only to be not in best state to make new connections - I agree , I want to fight.

Nope. You will never win. Take your loses and walk away...with your head held high. God loves you. We are worth more so lets stop settling for less ..RUN ...

@@karenkoenig5518 the truth hurts. At least dr. C helps us get stronger

I’ve been standing up to these demons…

do not waist your time, this types are like human roachs, they have a survival porpose for the species, the best we can do is educate "empaths" to heal personnal childish traumas, recognize unhealthy patterns of behaviour and avoid this personalities.

Bless your wonderful heart...!!

6/26/22 Congratulations, Kristie! I'm presently sitting in my home office on a Sunday morning, drinking coffee WITHOUT feeling the weight of him sitting in the living room (30 feet away) stewing, thinking I am somehow short-changing him by not being at work! It's a sad fact that his recent death in the pandemic is what has set me free. But this freedom is bliss. Enjoy the rest of your life!

Relearning to live life is ajoyuos feeling.slowly getting free. Be kind to yrself❤.

I just said a prayer for you. May it all go well for you.

Please pray for me as well. I am also preparing myself to part ways from a very toxic relationship

@@minotimeetu9418 Leave NOW NOT TOMORROW.

You also need to LEAVE NOW. Stop putting it off @ stink

I left kept taking him back he PLOTS and tried to have new girlfriend meet me

I hear you. What's there to miss? Chaos? Terror? Confusion? Grief? Constant gaslighting? Neglect? ABUSE! My life coach told me not to grieve too long because I wasn't in a "real" marriage with a "real" person. I was in an entrapment/captive situation with a horrifically toxic person. Who I missed most was my real self and I was never connected to that because I grew up in a psychopathic/narcissistic family where I was trafficked from age 2 until 20. I have D.I.D from all the lifelong horrific abuse but am working towards integration and have cultivated love/compassion and kindness for all parts of me now. Finally connecting within myself to the love that's been there all along.

@@annemurphy8074 beautiful to read where you are now, thats strength I need to allow for myself.

@@jennyanderson4796 Thank you Jenny. You can do it, though it's not an easy road. I had lot of very good help along the way, I've been lucky in that regard. Doing the inner work to reconnect with the Truth/Love within us is the most precious gift we can ever give ourselves and we have always, always been worthy of it. I had to learn to reparent all my wounded child parts and do my best to have a nurturing, warm, welcoming inner place for them and me to heal together. What I learned after being surrounded by the worst of humanity is that "evil" so to speak, cannot destroy out true self. Sending you warmth and kindness.

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a lot

My brother committed suicide after decades of dealing with our mother. She's the type of narcissist Les describes here. He could never quite separate himself from her and continued to go back to her and our father (who was useless and totally enmeshed with her) during tough times in his life - which of course only made things worse. His story is a long and sad one that's difficult to encapsulate here, but I am certain he wouldn't have done what he did if he didn't have C-PTSD and other symptoms of narcissistic abuse.

@@ryanmetheny7940that’s horrific I’m so sorry to hear of this tragedy. 😢

Yes! I couldn’t afford therapy! These videos have been my therapy!!

@ Ray Nash - So true Ray, well said! 👍Not only are many people NOT able to afford quality Therapy... but many, far too many Licensed 🤯 Therapists are woefully ignorant in the field of Narcissism & Narcassistic Abuse. Secondly, most Medical Insurance limits your choice of Therapists & # of sessions. Even if someone is lucky enough to find a qualified Therapist - the co-pays can be cost prohibitive. 'Thank Goodness & Thank You' Dr. Carter - for all you do to help us, your grateful community! 👏👏👏💐👍🎈🎉🙏

@Surviving Narcissism replied .

@Surviving Narcissism replied .

Most narcissistic people don't go to therapy unless court ordered.

Jessica Landi,Hope you are not with a narcissist. ...

Yes, you are so correct..they are everywhere in the churches. Having seen the George Barna and Pew Research polls of the last few years of "Christians surveyed"....62% don't believe the Holy Spirit is real..or satan. Something like 50% believe it's morally acceptable to live with someone outside of marriage. And the biggest documented report of all was that only 6% have a biblical worldview. It's exactly the thing that Jesus and the Apostle Paul warned would be a sign of the last days...the great falling away...And in Jesus' own words "When the Son of Man comes will He find faith on the earth? So sad.

Is this an LDS church?

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Hi :) Are you aware that you can go to court and get grandparent rights to see your grandchildren? It may vary from state to state, but where I live you get the child on A Wednesday one week then the whole weekend the next week! It’s better than no contact at all. I truly hope things work out for you. May Yahuwah bless you and your family. Stay Safe. Prayers up 🙏🏻

Go to court !! God bless you !

Hey been there, she probably doesn't like the set up any more than you, my ex wouldn't let me see my mom on mothers day with my new baby .... crushing devastating the consequences lasted forever, I should have gotten violent & done something drastic that evening like take the dam car & ditched him as things escalated anyways. Don't blame her.. he puts thoughts into her head, get creative . I always wanted my mom,... my dad would do similar .... my poor mom .

@@ladyd1614 I’ll be praying for you all.... Our Father will lead the way! Be careful, and smart. I wouldn’t wish this situation on anyone!

Grandparents rights are HARD and Expensive thing to fight for

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I have a child by the sociopath,same bs over and over,every chance to learn and do right,never did despite me helping many times. Narcissistic mother,no bringing up with boundaries or right from wrong,it nearly killed me emotionally and almost physically. They are dangerous and I give them no get out of jail free cos they’ve been told how to be helped. Devils children who will go to the pit if they don’t stop.

True true Dangerous

@@karriesaunders8597 me too my Daughters Father

@@gate101101 it’s horrible,it ruined my working years,ten years has put me in debt while his asshole family just backed anything he did. There are no words for their enabling. Anyway they and his lying ex are all on the road to destruction. If he comes to his senses great but I’ll never speak to his family again after what they did last year with their meddling

You described it exactly.

wallymarcel1 It's the case with me as well and I still know quite a few of them, as they're literally everywhere. 😥

@@cyndigooch1162 Have several in my family.

@@wallymarcel1 Wow, and I think 2 Nazi bros was bad. I'm soo sorry. ~ Good luck and be SAFE! 🙏

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Indeed!

Good for you and I like your user name. 💓

Same darling. NM survivor here. No contact. There's another guy who is a sociopath obsessed about me, he hacks on me. These people are sick... evil to the core... they find peace boring, they can't live in peace...

@Connard Cyndi Narcissist mother (NM)

Omg! This story is so terrible allready. Yes, they are nasty.

that's some same experience I had. when I tell someone the hardship I was having, they would say they had some worse one or someone can do better than me. soon it becomes a competition and no help will be offered

I’m in the same situation 😢

Me too

He sounds like one of the Narc idiots where I work…

Like a suicide

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That's dumb.

​@@osiris8519you are unkind!💔

Buddha knew what he were talking about!

Very wicked in their ASS...

Yes true religion teaching don't work for Narcassit. Same rules cannot be applied to them.

Agree, the desire to believe they can change is strong, still have trouble getting that past my stubborn optimism.

I agree completely

I've been asking that same question. Who would want to live being angry and resentful and hateful towards everyone. It's so sad and is so painful if you're on the receiving end.

It sucks, but it really is that bad, if not worse.

"grooming me to be his punching bag".....very well stated....SO true...!!

Similar here, oldest daughter with younger brothers. My dad is all this and trying to talk with him, is impossible. I told him once, he hated being a father, of course he denied. My brothers aren’t even aware of this. When I first learned of this, I tried talking softly, because of his childhood, but no luck there. I was a whole different parent because of him. My mom is passed. She’s finally in peace, I say, but I miss her terribly. Had I known about all this, I would of gotten her out. Heal well, because for me, it’s really hard to just not think of my life as a child, being a big lie.

Gus would like that! Dr. C

I use the same phrase”cuddle buddy” or “snuggle buddy”

I’m in the same situation and feel unsafe so I lock my door, somehow feeling it will help. But it has amounted to being harshly accused of being not present. You can’t win.

You're very welcome. Keep leaning forward! Dr. C

Hilarious how my narcissist/sociopathic mother stole my copy of this book, denied it later, only to then say again, oh I think I do have your book… the gaslighting is real! No contact 5 years now. She didn’t want me having that book because she didn’t want me knowing her secrets but the gig was up.

Such a good book!

@@jacqc1533 I’ll never forget Chapter 4 I think it was, about the DIRECTOR of a mental institution, who was, herself, a sociopath and the cruel Mind Games she played on patients and staff.

@@marsha7330 yes !!! The colleague a total and utter abuse of power ! That was shocking , they are very twisted and disturbed minds !

I have read this, it is worth reading….

Well said! Same here.

Thanks, and I don't mind coming in second to Gus. Dr. C

How horrible!! Bringing his mistress to the hospital to visit the dying wife!! Repressing feelings is a significant part of cancer - and this nitwit actually found a way to dig the knife in deeper. What a piece of garbage!

Your not alone. My mother was just down right nasty & abusive to me when no one was around. But everyone thought she was so sweet & meek. I wished I would have stood my ground after my dad passed away. Now all I hear is her voice in my head telling me how mean & uncaring I am...how I am a no body...no one could love me the way she could (like anyone would want that kind of love). You stand your ground and take care of yourself...be kind to yourself!💜

It will u just got to pray about it and have faith

Block him.

I grow up in a narc family system too, so the abusing behavior was very nature and familiar for me until I started watching narc topic therapeutic video on youtube. I'm still very confused how people can get adapted to the abuser - abused relation. maybe people are pro to corruption and once they corrupted it's even easier to contaminate others around them

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So pleased, Mary. You're why I do the videos. Dr. C

Me too hun

Add me to those who are healing after watching these videos. I feel like I can actually breathe again n not hurt while doing so.

Nancy, this is so encouraging. Thanks for taking the time to share it. You're why I do the videos. Best wishes with your health. Dr. C

Mrs Nancy I hope your having a good nite I used to take care of a lady named Nancy Johnson in the nursing home I worked in here in Texas and she will forever be one of my favorite people anyway your comment really touches me I wish we could have another life to start over sometimes I hope that’s not selfish to say but I’m on my 8th year right now with a narcissistic sociopath and man I wish I woulda have enough self esteem to get out a long time ago I just gave birth to his son five months ago and his only child but he is still putting me through the same patterns of punishment taking away communication intimacy and is very mean when something offends him I go thru a serious of punishments for days I cry all the time I’ve cried for over three years now very often I think I’m an empath and I’ve been watching videos on that lately as well. Anyway I hope something gives at some point for me and I wish all people who go thru any types of abuse could have a re do because they wasted our time and our years my mom is an alcoholic has been for 30 years so that’s a whole diff type of crap storm I had saw you mentioned your mom anyway hopefully we will have some peace and love within I hope u keep feeling a little better and god bless ya. I thought that was cool this brilliant man had commented back to you I also think he’s helped me a lot too tonite when he mentioned revenge over reconciliation or however he put it my mouth dropped open bcuz I’ve been thru that alot with this person and wondered why jus disagreeing or offending him can cause such havoc for me for days

Hi Sam, Thank you so much for your heartfelt response to my comment to Dr. Carter. You are right, he is a brilliant man. I feel your frustration and pain and I know it feels hopeless, but I’m here to tell you that it’s not. I listen and save every video and lesson Dr. Carter puts out. He’s probably the only person that has ever made total sense to me. The problem was, I was too scared to follow his recommendations until I had just had enough of the abuse. I knew because of my condition I would never able to move out of this house. I had to find a way to live peacefully and even joyfully within the confines of my situation. This is where Dr. Carter came in and I was willing to finally speak up for myself and walk away when I was being overtaken by my husband. I recognize gaslighting when I see it and I can almost predict how he’s going to react to every single thing I do or say. I usually end up saying, “ I am sorry you feel that way” if he gives me a nasty or untrue comment and then I leave the room. This year things have changed a lot. Since I don’t go out because of the cancer, I’ve made a room for myself where I have everything that I need and want. I go in there and have a full social life with zoom meetings and I visit with old friends. I seem to be always busy and never bored. I’ve joined this group called chronic pain anonymous which deals with people with chronic illness and pain. Not only have they helped me as well as Dr. Carter, I give a lot of service at these meetings and sponsor a lot of people. This brings me a lot of joy and helps me to feel worthwhile about myself…even at this old age. No longer is my worth going to come from these narcissistic people. I know I’m a good person and no longer matters what other people think. As far as I’m concerned, I have an audience of one and that Is God. He’s the only person I need please and I need to please myself as well. My suggestion would be to watch and watch and watch Dr. Carter and realize that the narcissist will never change, but you can change the way you react to that person. Also, it sounds like you are young, so if this is unbearable for you, it may be worth it to see if you could actually walk away. You don’t want your baby to have that bad influence around them. But if you have to stay, take care of yourself first so you can take care of your child and get a separat life that’s away from your husband. Actually all these are suggestions because I don’t know your real situation, but that’s what I would’ve done if I was young and healthy and knew about Dr Carter. Best wishes to you and lots of blessings. Nancy Rhodes Johnson

@@nancyerhodes Nancy this is so inspirational. I am so angry at 39 at all the trauma and people who caused it and it has impacted me to the point of falling apart. To hear you have been able to carve a life for yourself within such an environment and be at peace and detach is so touching. We all deserve to be happy and free from abuse. I am wishing you love and happiness and to always feel cared for and to live a long and happy life.

@@sammorton2023 Hi Sam, My apologies for not getting back to you sooner. I think the word brilliant for Dr. Carter is exactly the right word. Before my husband of 22 years, I had a raging, sadistic, overt narcissist that ruined my childhood in stunted my Growth is a human being. It was just awful and I was so little without defense. Then I had a sister who was also sadistic narcissistic. This was for 18 years of my life when I lived with them. Then for 25 years, I married an alcoholic covert narcissist. We did part ways, but it was easier with him then with my present husband of 22 years. I’m 72 years old now and all I can say to you is that if I knew better back then when I was without cancer and a whole lot healthier, and I knew what Dr. Carter has taught me now, I would’ve somehow managed to leave even if I lived in a shelter with my children. This narcissistic thing ruins you and the kids get ruined by it too. I don’t know how old you are now, but I started reading Dr. Carter when I was 70. I found peace even living with my present husband because with Dr. C’s teachings, I’ve created a life with good friends. I no longer go to people who tear me down like I was used to, rather I go to people that will build me up and encourage me. What a difference. The one thing I know, is that all this stuff; narcissism, alcoholism, any kind of compulsion goes back for generations and generations. So I realize that there’s a lot of sick people in my ancestry. I could blame my mom and then her mom and then her mom and go on and on. But I realized 3 things. One is that I can not change them or my past, two is that they’re very sick and broken people who were raised by broken people just like me. So, if there’s no one to blame, then what is there to do? I need to take good advice and change myself. didn’t know I had the braveness to simply say what I want and what I don’t want and then walk away to my own life. I don’t wait around for the other person to agree or disagree with me. If I say I don’t want to do something, then I just don’t do it. There would be no way on earth I could’ve stayed with my mom, she was the worst one of all. I moved out of state as soon as I was 18. However, she still got to me by the phone. I had to tell her that if she called me up and started egging me on into a fight or calling me names or whatever it was she was doing, I said I would hang up immediately and she could call back when she was ready not to speak to me like that. It’s funny, she tried it about three times and I hung up on her three times. She never called me another name again. So I think it boils down to what are you willing to do to not live your life with all this crap. You sound like you need some help and you need to keep you and your children safe. I hope you get that help. I know I’m going die one day in the not so distant future. I am so glad I took all the suggestions of Dr. Carter and absorbed and tried them all. I have found nothing that he has said that hasn’t worked. I will be forever grateful that the last years of my life I can livw happy, peaceful and a free person. Good luck to you Sam, I will be praying for you. I know you will get test the strength you never knew you had. I feel like I’ve gotten my power back. ❤️

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Nice to hear a mom mention her son & the hardship that creates, I had two with my ex .

@@jennyanderson4796 navigating through it right now with two young teen boys. Trying hard to establish what dignity respect and civility should look like after they’ve witnessed what they have toward me. I’m praying that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

@@Reafawaz this is tough , for boys to choose other than what they have witnessed. Give them to God & pray over them in their sleep. I did that a few times & regretted not doing it sooner so certain my son was also a well trained narc.

@@jennyanderson4796 thank you for your reply. I can’t tell you how much this worries me, for my boy’s

@Japhet Albert I’m interested but not clear

And as soon as I made it clear I wasn't with them, I was automatically assumed against them. Thus becoming their #1 enemy. Because I used to be somewhat of an enabler. But more accurately, I saw the things they were doing. But wasn't really cool with them doing it. I just didn't do much to stop it. So knowing all that stuff and being made an enemy really puts a target on your back for knowing too much

Which series?

What kind of cult? Christians ?

@@nicolekulikowski2401 It's literally a tv series on Netflix called "Explained." The cult episode that the commenter is referring to is episode 1 of the second series.

walk away

that's a indication, I recently realize. Narc can't admit their mistakes, it's too risky for their volatile ego. they will dilute or diverge the fact and pretend it was never there. may be this is a good probe to find out other's self-awareness level by looking at their ability to admitting mistakes

They will often “pick” at you and your faults to soothe their own insecurities and shame. Then, they can rage at you to release those feelings. It simultaneously creates cognitive dissonance because the reasonable person will question themselves and not someone else’s perspective. Did I do something that was misinterpreted? Do I need to apologize? They know this and capitalize on it because they don’t care bout how it makes you feel but rather have a toddler’s mentality of “I just want to feel better”. A good indicator in my experience is after the fight has been picked and fought, do they become immediately calm and almost sweet? Once their crisis is done, the past is the past and they’ll usually want you to let go of it.

Wanted to add it is likely not your fault at all but their coping method for not being able to regulate emotions. Everything, even joy, can get turned to anger and rage.

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