yessssss! 😂😂😂

mindvolution you nailed it! That's exactly the phrase that hit me. 🔨

I read your comment just as he said it :D

mindvolution 😱

Please could you explain little bit more to me about this line?

That phase is a great summary of the talk.

Tysm

@@TheLeila126 m

So true thank u!!!!!

Thanks for the cliff notes. There were a lot of catch lines in there. I think he said to ask them what matters most to them in the situation.

Actually, I believe he warned against assuming that our priorities are the same as another person's. So rather than putting ourselves in someone else's shoes, we should ASK the other person what THEY most need, since it may differ significantly from what we would want.

Thats why company culture is immensely important. Without it we are just members of disbanded tribes lacking any meaningful connection.

@@BrianGivensYtube Quite so. You've got a procession of lost youngsters coming from broken homes, too. They could probably benefit from some such family-style guidance.

Astute observation.

100

Exactly this.

Thanks for the summary 👍

Thx

Thanks for the summary !

Thank you. That was an awesome summary. 👍

Ir seems I deal with some people whose goal in life is to be right all the time. They are not of course but have this incessant need. I find it depletes my energy.

Thank you 🙏

You have summed up the most important factors of empathic life of value well.

I love this--your are very organized and skilled. Do you jind if I ask what you do?

I had a laugh, I did the same summary, and then down in the comments...

So basically you are saying the Neurodivergent people are screwed. All we get if we survive, is D and E.

You clearly have eaten tons of self help books, isnt it ?

@@gianluccamo4704 I summarized what was in the video lol. I find self help books a bit too high fibre as an everyday meal

Wow! U really did summarize everything..

Read (or watch on UKposts) Daniel Link's Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. It's not rocket science. It's people science and caring enough to try. Most companies would have just managed Paul's out and replaced her. Sad, but true. The repercussions of not caring are devastating to our entire society.

I wish I could copy & save your notes, they were better than the TED talk!

:-) :-)

Omg I was thinking the same thing

exactly....

There was absolutely no value here

Mental exhaustion

And here I've been tapping my headset like crazy....LOL...

I first thought my earphones were broken

pin this comment

I got lucky that I only had my left earbud in 😁👍🏼

Ben Siedenberg LOL 👂🏼

True

A business euphemism

Hence the air quotes :-)

more like freeing up her wallet and fridge

I hallucinate that " leave other ppl feeling energized " is what matters most to you ?

Weird talk indeed.

yeah it was a pretty disjointed talk - the only thing I got out of it was his own personal story at the end - it didn't really connect to the woman at her job

@@coleenh1028 bruh this is not a film. They were two different examples of Same problem

This comment said more about energising the brain than the ted talk for me. One thing I’ve also found is if you have a mentally exhausting job to have hobbies that totally don’t require you to think.

I do all those and I'm still exhausting

Do u know what's exhausting u? I feel exhausted too, and I don't really know what it is. I'm quite happy with my life. Healthy too. Had some disappointments I can't do anything about, so I try and contemplate the situation in my brain, then focus on here and now when I'm done. It's like I may be addicted to overthinking. Yh, there are a lot of things that could be the problem, but idk which. Maybe I should try and make a bucket list of things to process, and work on them one by one. I may have just solved my problem in real time. I'm confused 🙂

I can relate to your comment. Still feel I can incorporate some points into my life. Finding myself in a small community with an intention to become accepted with my ideas to improve/ enriched ar least one person life was and still is a challenge. All the points in the category of belonging clarify my way of understanding my struggle . Many thanks. I have shared this valuable video with my son and his girlfriend. Keep sharing. Thanks again

Vladimir, just apply whatever it works for you . Warm regards Y

I feel the same right now!!

True, no clue where he was trying to communicate according to the title of the video...

He lost me too. I waited for a more clear explanation at the end. And he left us with a statement.

I agree, for me this talk is very engaging with a powerful ending, but like you, I had to go through the key points to figure out the main idea. Because he started off with the problem statement of how to address an exhausted employee, offered a few solutions (high-performance hormone/dopamine via possibility; serotonin via recognition; oxytocin via trust) and ended with the importance of true empathy and connection, illustrated from the perspective of a parent who almost lost his child. I guess that’s how the clarity of the main idea got diminished. But end of the day his key message seems to be: to energise and engage the brain, respond based on what truly matters to the other person, from that person’s perspective, not from OUR own perspective in what we assume to be the other person’s position ie “shoes”

chavruta2000 it's oxytocin not oxy, he even said it. Also, serotonin*

Be the change than pal. Become a boss and make your employees feel those things.

chavruta2000 lol

lol oxicotin; eh one letter off - ya never know chavruta may have had a depleted brain. Anyhow @chavruta2000 : here here to that! Just have to go to a bar to see this is that most managers are oblivious to their employees true motivational factors.

Screw the spelling - the comment is so spot on and funny though :)

Patchouli59 Great idea! I listened to it that way after seeing your comment, and really enjoyed it! Thanks!

Not the hero we deserve but the hero we need!

Jong lol

so funny, yah I took your advice and did it. it is great lollllllll

thank you, did not know you could change the speed. It helps when you get bored easily and have ADHD to speed up the audio. Us Americans talk very slowly compared to other languages it seems.

thanks, yes, also: 1) growing up in a dysfunctional family can teach you how to enable communication between dysfunctionals; 2) help "leaders" shift from parenting to partnering 3) different people crave different internally produced mind drugs to stimulate their work (e.g. oxytosin; dopamine; serotonin). 4) sometimes It may be more helpful to listen and hear than to "relate" with counter-narratives. In truth, I half listened to this the first time through and felt like it was someone reading their diary and wasting my time. I often like real life "parables," but these grated on me a bit. I confess, the internet has spoiled me. I listened again and heard more of the "point." There are some gems in this pile, but with a million TEDtalks, not all of them can be crown jewels.

sol rayz nicely formulated about the mind drugs for our needs! This was a gem indeed. I've seen a talk about these hormones and what they do before, but this is a different angle, with respect to human needs.

Thanks

thank you!

AKHIL JAIN no that's not all it

Good summary Anjia, can you explain how to interprete "feel-act-evaluate" please? Thanks

Anja Schatz Thank you so much for your comment. I have a much better understanding of what he was talking about now.

Anja Schatz Hi, do you have a link to a relevant website please because this sounds very interesting? Thx.

this sound very interresting indeed. Can you say more about 'self regulation', ?

Can you reference me to a book you would recommend? Germans seem to have most things down nowadays.

Varun Aggarwal absolutely

My thoughts exactly!

He is ironically depleting my brains energy.

Exactly

Yup frustrating

How to trigger them ??

@@zxvats It's all in the mind.

@@pedrorodrigueztube not so helpful

@@zxvats I play video games and achieving success in the video games I play I gain a lot of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, I usually play 1hrs per day after work and taking the kids to bed. Also watching something that you like, or doing something you like, you can get these.

@@zxvats happy thoughts and good movies etc - Introvert Going out with friends etc - extrovert

Goshh me too😳 I just purchased it ,lol

@@aditikumari302 ahh same

+11

LOL, I checked other video to see if my right one is working :p

😂😂 exactly same here

Thats where i was left by the end of it.....i couldn't really connect his problem to his solution. Another comment came to the conclusion that he must mean to "surround yourself with people that don't deplete you"

Das alte Leid it is about a. Everybody wants to love and be loved (the first part of the conversation about Brothers fightings in which the third brother took the role of messanger of Love to that brother that wanted to hear from the first brother, the initial fighter, to say that "I love you!!!"; b. Second example' message was to dedicate yourself if the boss in your workplaces is an understanding person and the stuff who are team workers, everybody has shares. Please add more...thank you!

Apparently when some people have exhausted brains it is because they have too little work, or it is too easy work.

Would you mind sharing what did you find out what was the missing key that was exhausting your brain?

so i have to help others in order to fix my brain?

@@MiriamGonzalez-ch8dv by bonding with them, yes that seems to be the answer. You can only bond in energizing way via a true understanding with someone, so one party may need to work hard to meet with the other? (some bonds are far easier than others, but all are achievable)

@@MiriamGonzalez-ch8dv When you help others ,you are connecting to a better you....that fixes your brain!:)

@@MiriamGonzalez-ch8dv Nope, you have to ask yourself what's most important to you in the particular situation you're in (or what you wish you got from the particular situation you're in): 1. Belonging - inclusion, acceptance, feeling part of the tribe, social relationships 2. Security - systems, structures, consistency, rules and fair play 3. Freedom - autonomy and independence, the ability to get your fingerprints on things, take a risk and make decisions 4. Significance - the ability to do quality and excellent work, make progress, achieve great results, move the needle 5. Meaning - purpose, legacy, the greater good, changing the world Understanding what you need from the situation can itself give you a boost, because you know where to continue from - you already finished your first step to partnering with yourself to energize yourself. This realization of hope triggers possibility which releases dopamine which causes you to feel more motivated, goal oriented and increases creativity. With this motivation, you tap into the natural desire of us mammals - the want to outdo each other (it's the survival instinct). This releases serotonin which unlocks a sense of agency, belief, confidence, self efficacy - feeling invincible. I guess by this time, you're either back on track or getting back on track. You're motivated, you're energized and you no longer feel depleted. And you can achieve your full potential - or reach the full extent that you wish to reach. There's also a part about oxytocin and connecting, but I guess that applies more when you're trying to boost the morale of someone else. But anyway, oxytocin creates trust, rapport and bonding. So maybe you can even induce a better rapport with yourself too by asking yourself our key question 'What is most important to you in this particular situation?' and feeling like you really do desire to find out about it. It shows initiative - that you care enough to introspect and find out. And in the end, you can feel better and more energized. PS: The other point was about listening to your circumstances without judgement. If you're doing this yourself, maybe a diary can help, or a voice recording. Trying to sort it all out in your head might be harder. And while doing this, listen to yourself so that you can address your feelings about the situation rather than trying to come up with solutions and conclusions.

@@minismith7329 I disagree. I've been doing this for years and have found most ppl to be quite self centered.

This will help a ton if I can keep in in mind talking to my kids. Also it explains why as exhausted as I can be...its energizing for me to experience the tiniest bit of collaboration even if it is negative feedback or discovering my mistakes with the help of someone who I then consider a real person having my back. So Ted lookalike, I feel like you're my bud. Thanks!

Going through it right now

Same here. I can’t even function properly at work

@@samukelobindela5572 what's wrong?

Anxiety too. BTW, since getting Alexa I have been less stressed! "She is the personal assistant my ADHD brain yearned for heh

Take a hobby ! anything that connects your hand to your higher self waiting to be released from it's cage....:)

Exactly!

Yeah, I don't bother with the busy bodies...the quiet ones are the most interesting and have formed best friendships with them.

I’m not a quiet one lol but I am very similar to you. It would be nice to encounter someone like myself too. We are a unique breed I think. People are not good at engaging with others, listening, being curious and genuine in wanting to know about others, feel empathy or put themselves into the reality of what that person must have been feeling when they discus something with you. people are very self absorbed and not at all present and that’s ok it is the way it is and no one owes me anything, but it would be nice if people could understand and live by what this man is teaching us. :)

@@KiwikimNZ I'm like you. I get tired from the self absorption/baggage of friends especially women in 50's/60 I like to listen, have genuine soul talks with no agendas but I get tired when it's one way 😕

@@cami5054 hahaha I’m 52 and I’m driving myself mad! Lol I think when you get to this age your tired. I don’t want to sound like I feel sorry for myself as I don’t, my life has taught me so much and I’d never change it, but my life has not been an easy one by any means and I’ve worked physically hard my whole life. It takes it out of you and although I love listening to what others have to say, I am Inquisitive and I like to try and offer a place for people to offload. But I’m finding people are getting so angry, the are ungrateful and bitter and I struggle to keep my own head above water sometimes, it’s getting tiring. I’ve been finding myself isolating more and more as I get older and as I am starting to see life and the simple things as something to be very grateful for. I think I’ll run away one day with my dog and live alone lol

@@KiwikimNZ Thanks for your input. I appreciate your perspective and I actually took a couple of days to mull over your comment about people not owing you anything. And what I’ve come to see about myself is that I do agree that no one owes me anything. If others do not wish to engage at the level I desire, that’s quite alright. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. However, and this is where I suspect my perspective diverges from yours- I believe the whole purpose of communicating is to experience community and relationship with others- to experience a connection. In the profession of counseling, intimacy is defined as ‘in to me you see’. There are people who chatter a great deal but say very few words of substance. And the problem with missing out on genuine ‘in to me you see’ communication is that loneliness and disconnection are created. I believe humans have an innate desire to know and be known by others. But if everyone stays in the shallow end of the pool, all you end up with are acquaintances and we miss out the a crucial aspect of our humanity- what it means to relate to another human being in a genuine and powerful way. What I believe it comes down to is there is a symbiotic relationship that must occur in order to reap the benefits of relationships- a give and take. Without it, both parties are left dissatisfied. Anyways, I hope you have a blessed day!

THANK YOU i literally couldn't follow how his points were a solution to an exhausted brain He kept talking about other people and how you respond to people and i couldn't make the connection Passionate speaker, but wasn't easy for me to follow!

Not necessarily. Surround yourself with empathetic people that try and see from the other person's point of view. Doing so and being so can avoid arguments in the family, lack of productivity in the workplace and exhaustion in your friends.

Yess lol

Lilo Leist Agreed.

Lilo Leist and love, acceptance, compassion, care, respect, understanding, possibility of personal fulfillment and interpersonal connection. And all that belongs to human communication.

Good point!! Thank you

Definitely the answer here. It was the score of passion that deleted me, now the healthy integration of passion slowly but surely revitalizes me. Thank you Ms. Leist!

its difficult when we live in a generation that loses passion that easy

No he didnt

He did, ask ourselves or others “what matters the most”? :-)

I completely agree. Unfortunately about 2 minutes of my life are unaccounted for, I spaced out.

What he said about situationally creating better outcomes for more dopamine, serration etc all add up. Assuming you are dieting correctly (finding the right foods and electrolytes, nutrients etc that your body responds well to and exercising) then this will help many. Nothing much is universal... diet, exercise and habits all vary individually.

Yes he did. Increase the hormone levels in your brain by changing the situation and communicate in an engaging way.

Can you expand on this? I think this is in the right direction for my clarity but not enough.

@@garrysingh3337 people are wired to be anxious about different things . some people are people pleasers. Some people may be over critical about everything, so they think everyone is judging them too. Some people hate not being in control .. They spend their time analyzing everything to find little pieces that they can control lol. If you can find out what triggers you and find out what the problem stems from then you can exhale and release all of that clutter . Remember what's really important to you and be okay with uncertainty. Only control what you can and let go of the rest. In a way all those extra little thoughts in your head can be helpful but when you get lost in them they can be detrimental

@@garrysingh3337 The speaker is talking about in professional manner. Im talking about everyday life situations

Mental fatigue

Brain uses 20% of our total energy, the rest I don’t remember my bran is exhausted! Lol

The video is basically just explaining that as mammals, we have several different types of engagement which occur naturally through naturally triggering chemicals in the brain and body. In essence, everything we do triggers a certain kind of chemical. It's all about learning how to do this for ourselves. And in the case of being an employer, it's about figuring out what your employee is getting out of the job and how to maximize that aspect of the job to get them engaged, emotionally, mentally and therefore chemically. He doesn't get into the meat about how to ahieve those things but it's a good intro to the concept/approach.

@@rafisalfonsonin4908 you didn't really find out the keys of this video

@@aaaadyr8856 Bless you for explaining. Thanks, I am, exhaustisol askdkdmd

What? You should watch more^^

it can't be "one of the best BY FAR". That makes no sense

So where would you go from there? This is what I felt was missing...

And it brings them no relief in the end unless you engage them. Totally one sided like his first convo with his friend on the phone... which seems to be the story of my life lol and I'm guess yours too since you're here...

Yes you've described this perfectly, I got it understood it in the end, it all came together, made sense, I think you wouldn't if you've been having an exhausted brain.