5 red flags NPD is likely: 1: Pathological liar (repetitive) 2: No Empathy 3: Uncontrollable anger 4: Superiority, entitlement 5: zero accountability : REPEAT.

No one gets more upset than a Narcissist being accused of something they said/did.

Who's watching this in April 2024? Congratulations to Dr. Phil on the beginning of the new channel Merit Street Media. God bless all

A narcissist is one of the most INSECURE persons. The best option is LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

I've never known a narcissist that wasn't also a coward. They are too weak and fearful to look at themselves for what they really are. Treating others as peons so you can feel better about yourself is evil, and it's a choice.

Being with a narc is like doing time for a crime you didn't commit be your own judge and jury and set yourself free

Ignore them,have nothing to do with them. Life gets so much better and so much more relaxed.

Ignoring them seems to drive them up the wall. It's hilarious.

I was 6 hours away from marrying this person. Calling it off - however late - was the best thing I've ever done. I had finally felt like myself again.

The only way to deal with a narcissist is to avoid them and keep distance from them.

“I don’t have a problem; you have a problem.” So True…how often did I hear this?!

I was a hardcore narcissist in my 20s from childhood abuse. I had to hit rock bottom to crack my shell. Now I feel so bad for them. The constant ENERGY that goes into carrying such a burden of insecurity and a veil of perfection is so taxing. Now, just being able to say, “hey, I guess I’m wrong about that, thank you for helping me see that” is like taking off a 100 pound backpack.

I married one. Didn’t realize at the time he was a narcissist. They are very convincing. It ended in him cheating and lying with zero remorse. My son gave me the best advice “mom, when are you going to stop blaming yourself for his bad behavior?”

Go no contact and run.Don’t ever go back. You cannot win.

I have been the brunt of a narcissist all my life. I didn’t realize this until I looked up what a narcissist does and thinks. When I met with them recently I was ready for the gaslighting . I recognized every ploy that was being used on me. They tried everything from screaming in my face to crying about how they have lost me as the person they once knew. It was very upsetting but I stood my ground and didn’t let them affect me. Boy was that an eye opener! Their reaction was like that of a 9 year old who couldn’t get their way. I left but the old me had to fight off the urge to apologize for not being who they wanted me to be . I now know that their anger was not of losing me but losing a life long punching bag.

100% true, my mother was (key word), the narc in my life, kicked her to the curb for good, now i’m in peace. Blessings and love to all the people who have to deal with narcissists, especially people in my situation who had a parents they couldn’t get away from.

Don’t handle them, RUN ! Life’s too short and challenging enough.

Q: Why did the narcissist cross the road? A: They thought it was a boundary! 👉🏼Narcissists don’t respect boundaries👈🏼

The argument itself is their reward.

My wife has a couple of narcissistic sisters. Let’s just say they now play a very minimal role in our lives. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

The best thing to deal with a narcissistic person is to walk away and cut them out completely 🙌🏾

I lived the nightmare for 22 years. Dr Phil nailed it. Avoid them at all costs. RUN

I grew up with a narcissistic mother with an enabler father. My dad worships every thing about her, and never mad or told her that she is emotionally abuse with harsh words, silence treatment and guilt trip to me and him. In the end I couldn’t take it anymore, so I told him that what she said and did hurt my feelings. He said I was not hurt and I was overthinking, and I should just let it go. In that moment, I know that nobody is going to protect me and I need to protect myself. Left home since then, and a lot happier physically and emotionally. Now it’s been 6 years that I no longer live with them and I am still recovering from my childhood trauma, and keep learning about narcissistic relationships. There was one time I was so hurt by my mom’s words. I cried so much. She just stared at me and told me that she didn’t know that her words were hurtful. There is no single tear from her, not even a word sorry, and she just changed to another subject. This made me really understand that narcissistic people really have no empathy. And they care about themselves more than anything.

Sexlessness. Sharing a bed with someone who doesn’t acknowledge you are a sexual being hurts so much. I was in a sexless marriage for years. Being a woman with a high libido, I felt inadequate. Worst I feel invisible. The man who was “supposed” to want me, just didn’t. We talked about it many times, more than I can recall now. It was always me. I wanted too much - once a week was too much for him. I didn’t initiate - he was always complaining of headaches, stomaches, always stressed, always tired. I was too sexual - when being subtle doesn’t work, what is next? Explicitly saying I wanted sex. Oh but then it was not appropriate. Conversations would end up with him saying he didn’t feel desired or I made him feel emasculated because he didn’t want sex as much as I did. Yeah, it was always me. I could never win. While we were dating we would have a decent amount of sex, it was good. The first huge red flag was not having sex in our honeymoon - which I ignored. It rapidly decrease to once a week, then every other week. Years gone by it was months in between, by the time we divorced it was over a year with no sex. I cried myself to sleep more times that I can count. I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Was I that undesirable? Was I repulsive? After those conversations, I just stopped trying, initiating, mentioning sex. We were still loving - holding hands, hugging, kissing - but sex was off the table. He then cheated on me. Swore he had sex only 4 times in a year (or more) long affair. It didn’t matter. For years my self worth was damaged by him, years of low self esteem, years of feeling less of a woman, the marriage that was more than over, waiting in hospice, really ended. Funny how things are, I asked him for a divorce, he manipulated me into staying, next day his infidelity came to light. I was out as soon as I could. Best thing of my life. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when he or she do it again. The best thing is to hire a private investigator Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me...

The best way to handle a narcissist is to keep away from them or they'll suck your soul. Even if you're related to them, keep away.

Ignore them. Whenever they try to push your buttons, don't react, don't get mad, yell, scream, throw things, slam doors, etc., just IGNORE them, they can't stand it because they realize they have lost their control over you.

Don't hang around or stay with a narcissist.........it's futile and a road of heartache and deception if you do. It's dumb to try to change them or accommodate them. And it could be dangerous to confront or scheme against them. Leave and don't look back. DO NOT DEAL WITH THEM!!!

Being with my ex narc for the past 10 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

It's especially shocking how easily and often a narcissist will call someone else a narcissist

Being born to someone like this has taught me a lot about toxicity and how to deal with it. It is NOT my responsibility to change, heal, or save anyone else. That is THEIR OWN responsibility ( major life lesson ). No matter how big my heart is, I MUST see others for who they ARE, NOT who I WANT them to be based on their potential to choose right and be good people ( it can be very easy to fall into this trap ). The more time you spend around someone like this, the more DAMAGE will be done to you ( some people will truly NEVER change, so it is up to YOU to decide for yourself how you want to respond ). These kinds of people live in FEAR, DELUSION, and DENIAL ( a very dangerous combination )

To quote a wise person: Relationship with a narcissist in a nutshell: You will go from being the perfect love of their life to nothing you do is ever good enough. You will give everything and they will take it all and give you less and less in return. You will end up depleted - emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and probably financially and then you’ll get blamed for it.

I was married to one for too many years! He so cleverly love bombed and manipulated me so gradually that after a few years I was his puppet! As he aged his behaviour worsened to the point where I had to leave, go no contact and divorce him.

I will never forget my final words. "Leave Now!" and even after all begging that was it.

You have perfectly described the dynamics between my sister and me. I'm the empath. No contact is the only way.

100 percent accurate. Don’t feel sorry for someone who is unable to acknowledge their disorder. They will try and break you. Over and over.

The scary part is that narcissists refuse to get help. This illness has destroyed families and even countries.

I went into a relationship with a narcissist and oh my God! What a ride. As he spent all my money, constantly blamed me for every problem, never took responsibility, threatened violence, cut me off from family and friends. Perfect description: I’m going to fly above the ground so I don’t get hurt! Get out. It is hopeless.

I walked away from one of them . I haven’t had any contact with them in seven years . This person still keeps trying to contact but I ignore them . This person came close to destroying my life . This person has had every family member and every relative cut them off . They did this to themselves .

Don't "deal" with them, LEAVE them alone. Best thing you can do, no matter who it is in your life.

I was married to a narcissist for 13 years and I finally found the strength to escape. During those 13 years I thought I was losing my mind. After being free from it all I am able to be myself again.

I have noticed they often harbor unforgiveness toward someone else

Oh my gosh!! It's her Favorite saying after she starts a fight and pushes buttons.... "What's wrong with you?" Fits her to a perfect T and everything else you said Dr Phil. Her need for constant validation and praise from others on FB etc is relentless and never ending. Thank God I'm finally detached!! I gave 100% but couldn't make her happy. I don't miss the gaslighting and ghosting either. Phewwww moving on 😊

Tell them no and have boundaries, they will go crazy.

The problem is when they turn other people against you, people you actually care about.

When you meet someone that has everyone else to blame and not themself , that’s is your first clue.

Thank you Dr Phil. You are so right on. I have a narcissist in my family. It's so frustrating to deal with him sometimes.

After graduation I got a job working for a narcissist. At the time, I had never heard of the term. I just thought it was odd that above her desk there was a shelf with no less than 5 framed photos of herself in various poses. But lets get to the boundary setting worst day there: I had been working my ass off for her and she was in the middle of telling me that I was incompetent. It was intense because I was feeling it. As hard as I tried to hold it back... a tear fell down my face. And at that very moment I saw the edges of her mouth lift up to a smile. It was demonic. She knew she had me, but I knew then I had to go. I excused myself, walked over to the next pc and typed up in one paragraph a two weeks notice. I handed it to her and we never spoke again. Happy ending: I found a job supervising a department twice the size, making twice the money (even more than she was making) and a state pension plan. Gaslight me b****. Looks like she was the one incompetent and I ain't crying no mo.

It’s especially difficult when the narcissist is your mother.

I love your podcast every day. I’m dealing with2 Narrsists. You are helping me emencly. Yes ,no empathy whatsoever. Your podcast helps me emotionally and mentally to get thru. Exactly These two are a challenge. Your advice helps me immensely! Thank you Doctor Phil for all you do! Danny in Jacksonville Florida.

Thank you so much for this. I'm looking for a way out of this mess. It's a roller coaster in the eye of the storm inside of a maze. Remembering myself and being secure in myself is the key 🔑

Being in a relationship with a covert narcissist is like carrying a fragile glass bottle of poison in your pocket

Dr Phil has this completely nailed. The biggest mistake I made was thinking that their cup could ever be filled. There is no such thing as "enough" for a narcissit. They are fundamentally incapable of being satisfied. The key to surviving an encounter with a narcissit is to not even try with them in the first place.

Ah, a light shines on the issue. This explains clearly what I’m currently going through with toxic family members, both born into and through relationships. It’s been going on hard for the last 5 years, I’m sure longer, this has just been when it was most obvious to me. these toxic family dynamics nearly did me in. Almost. I’ve attempted to maintain my boundaries (no contact) for this time but jeesh their efforts to break through has been a relentless onslaught of flying monkeys that comes in like waves and is liken to the battle of pelennor fields! However the light shining through at dawn eventually wins. Orcs can’t tolerate light. Thank you for some hope.

The two Narsissists I’m dealing with Gaslight me every day through Social Media, and phone hacking. I wish they would stop this and leave me alone. Thank you for this great video to shed some light on this horrible topic Dr. Phil.

Ten years ago, my daughter marrried a man and over time it became obvious he was a narcissist. Two kids later and one physical abuse episode, she finally left him. He threw her across the room and slammed her head into the wall. The police officer did what my husband and I weren’t able to do, he talked her into leaving. Going on three months and I’m so proud of her.

I'm currently married to a narcissist, I've been aware of this for the most part of our 5yrs together, and it's as bad as Phil has described. I'm losing in every way possible, and I'm not very proud of myself. I need some help. I'm not writing this as a desperate plea to have anyone come to rescue me, I'm simply making a step by writing it down, which as I'm doin at this moment, actually helps.

Thank you Dr Phil for posting these. They have been greatly helpful

Dr Phil, thank you. I was divorced by a man I was married to for 21 years after living in the Saudi Arabia for 15. He told me 2 weeks after leaving the country with our 3 children, putting them in boarding school in Toronto, Vegas and Florida that he'd divorced me through Saudi Court. Like you, I knew there was something terribly wrong with him and did everything I could to right the wrongs of his childhood, giving him the love from myself and our 3 children that I felt he'd lacked growing up, but nothing helped, nothing worked. Sometmes you just have to go through this yourself to really understand a narcissist.

They are everywhere. Stay calm. Create boundaries. Blow them off. Don't react.

My grandmother was a Narcissist. My father spent 50 years trying to change her. She died recently and it's the first time I've ever seen my dad at peace.

“It is not your job to fix them; and you couldn’t fix them if it WAS your job.” Thank you Dr. Phil

Yes they are deeply insecure...yes...I keep my sense of worth....yes set up boundaries...

The problem with staying and they have lost their power, they can become dangerous. I thought I would die, I sent emails to myself and told everyone if I disappeared, he did it. Leaving them is extraordinarily hard

Also, don't feel obligated to have a relationship with a narcissist. They are abusing you and they literally are incapable of loving you. You shouldn't have to live with abuse. You are not trash. You are worth more then that.

You are right, I can't change my husband who is a narcissist. After 10 years, I agree, it is above my paygrade. The psycho dynamics are so complicated that I have concluded the only way to set boundries with the narcissist is to leave. He can't love bcs he thinks people are tools to give him what he wants in life "to be used." It is a psychopathic mantra. You are right, he has been tearing me down in an artisan way. Publicly he shows the opposite persona. Behind closed doors he tramples all over my personal morals. I have made the decision to leave for self preservation.

Touché Dr. Phil, you nailed it! Thank you for setting it straight!

Dr. Phil, thank you for this series, just catching up.

Don't take them seriously. Tell them "I don't care what you think"; it worked for me with my sister. Then I never talked to her again, and life's been great. A narcissist's power lies in the fact that you put value in what they say.

The first 30 seconds are golden!!! "Don't try to change a narcissist....I tried to do it.... it's above your pay grade...". Thanks Dr. Phil!😁

I just quit my dream job after 3 weeks because my supervisor was a narcissist. I had never experienced ANYTHING like this... he told blatant lies, spread rumors and tried to make me feel sad. But God told me I could should not tolerate this and am happy I am free

this is exactly it! one of the best videos about it...Thank you Dr. Phil

Being a narcissist should be against the law! They damage people so badly it should be on the same level as attempted murder! My ex narc got me to the point of attempting suicide.

Don’t deal with narcissist …… run for your life! Love yourself and respect yourself more.

They're always on defense mode. Omg yesss your description just put words to what i couldn't describe to people. They taught i was crazy.

The narcissist can/will make a person think they are going crazy.

I once heard a comment about how to leave a narcissist....and it made me feel better because I realized I did exactly that when I left. At least I did one thing right for myself. That quote goes as follows: When leaving a narcissist....RUN AWAY rather than walk away, BUT do it quietly.

I’m ready to leave my narc, and he says to me tonight. “Please give me one more chance. I don’t see a problem with me or my behaviour. But I’ll change for you. If that’s what you want. I’ll change for you.” REALLY??? Of course he doesn’t see a problem with himself. I told him that’s completely illogical. You don’t think that you have a problem, but you’re willing to change for me? That doesn’t even make sense! And I’m not falling for that crap ever again. He’s emotionally and verbally abusive, and a chronic gaslighter. I’m so done with this crap. I deserve better. Thanks for your insight Dr. Phil. 🙏

For my children, I put up with EXACTLY this for 38 years. It's unbelievable how they do this. They make the image of how good and holy they are. And happy when I lost my son in an accident. Because he wouldn't put up with it. And when I confronted her twice over years about it, she didn't disagree or deny it. After the kids were gone. So was I.

Thanks Dr Phil! I sooo needed that!

Narcissism is a global pandemic. It will get worse before it gets better. You see it everywhere. People are starting to wake up thanks to people like you sharing this critical information. 🙏🏼

With a Narc for 14 yrs. I remember bumping into a friend who said “how are you?” I honestly did not know what to say as my Narc wasn’t back from work so I didn’t know how I felt until he decided what kind of evening I was going to have. I went home and made a list of everything I needed to do in order to get out. Nearly 10 years out now it’s heaven

Wow, you nailed it. I've been trying to put my finger on why my two specific family members can't survive without "punching down" listening to this puzzle so much easier to solve. 👍🙏

Listening to you Phil gives me the strength!! ❤

Being in a relationship with a narcissist has forever changed my life.

Great quote on changing a narc: "It's above your pay grade." When the narc would pity trip me by proxy to get me to save them from themselves, I said "That's a job for Jesus."

Great video. Narcissists don’t change (in my opinion as a person with a narcissistic father), because their attitude is not open to learn and change. And also because their behavior gets them yo fulfill their dominant human needs at a very high level. Even if that is achieved through negative vehicles

Thankyou Dr. I have lost my identity. My spirit. My self worth. I live with a narcissist daily. He doesn’t have a to do list. He takes it on the fly. I have been pulled down below low. He has even said that my name isn’t written in the Book of Life. And that is only the skim of it, Dr. Phil.

That is very true . They can not handle the person who is at peace with himself or spiritually connected but they will hurt you wherever they see an opportunity especially in the workplace

My ex Narc was 12 years old when he witnessed his 3 year old brother’s horrific death, that was 47 years ago and he never received support, his family never spoke about it. I suffered 18 years of craziness and abuse with this man and I always accepted his behaviour was because of his childhood trauma but it should not be an excuse to treat the people he should love so badly. When I woke up and finally left he was shocked, he put me and our son through a year of hell before we sold our house. He’s still causing hurt to people around him, destroying every relationship. If I stayed any longer he would of driven me insane, I saved myself.

You explain you're topics so good it's makes it so easier to understand and very helpful and you couldn't of explain it better love this pod cast and also love your dr Phil show one of my favorites

When we watch this type of video and a particular person comes to mind and then memories come of when this person did those things to you that Dr. Phil says, that's when you realize how deep you were really falling. They make you think that they don’t need to explain things to you.

I am barely hanging on, but l am away from him and his abuse.

Exactly! The narcissist love to stamp out your happiness! If you're feeling good about yourself, they will try to destroy your sense of self-worth.These people are destructive! Stay away from them!!

Thank you this is very very informative 👍 another video that has made my day!

Thank you for opening our minds!

I was with a narcissist boyfriend for a few years. You can never fix them. Let them go. Don't let them come back.

They seem to enjoy inflicting pain upon others!!!

Lol, I previously gave this video an upvote. Congratulations, Dr. Phil. That’s a good accomplishment.

WOW this is 1 of the best explanations I've ever heard, thankyou Dr Phil!! God bless!!!

Going on 17 years. It took me a very long time to realize that I was dealing with a narcissist. Started standing up for myself finally.