Cause she dead

@@batt3ryac1d no she isnt

Pascoolism then where is she

Ahhhh come on, Shelly!!!!

@@Pascoolism There really isn't any proof that she's alive, at best, she's been held prisoner since 2007, which doesn't sound that great either.

meh they won't sue.. even they know they are a bullshit religion. well okay, they won't sue as long as we don't mention Tom Cruise.

Scientology is a joke. Fuck those brainwashed fucks

I guess he’s planning an episode on Scientology whe; he gets back, because you know they will be coming for him now lol

Haaaahahaaaahahaaaaaa!

Scientology.. I know of four made up religions surrounding the last crap I made that make more sense.

Funnily, SantaCon was originally inspired by a one-off political happening in Copenhagen. A group of actors dressed as Santa Claus invaded a posh multistory shop and handed out gifts from the store shelves along with manifestos against commercialization of Christmas. When they were arrested for stealing the gifts off the shelves it turned out they had bought and paid for each item in advance, then hidden them to give the illusion of handing out store goods. Somehow this inspired the drunken nonsense that is SantaCon.

@@johncrowerdoe5527 best. Fun fact. Ever

Yeah.

You guys invented Santa. Americans perfected him.

What about a drunk eagle making out with a cola bottle?

I really want him to do an entire show about Scientology, but I know HBO would never go for it.

@@LnPPersonified i mean they produced "going clear" so I don't think it's that impossible.

@@LnPPersonified pretty sure he had an episode on Scientology, or at least a LOT of mini segments. He even closed a show saying Xenu next week...

@@LnPPersonified bro, JO goes about whatever the fuck he wants

Pokerface HBO has “gone for” quite a bit of John’s pieces, I wouldn’t be surprised.

PinkABlink And on crap English lagers that taste like piss

NO

😂😂😂😂

@@mscbijles1256 Better than what the americans call beer

start a gofundme

And with dubious criteria, which are not known, can't be checked nor appealed. Like, is getting abortion "naughty", even in case the pregnancy started as a result of rape? Who knows, maybe being gay is considered "naughty", the rules are nowhere to be seen, no fair trials, no hearings, nothing!

ukposts.info/have/v-deo/bXySmX-FnGeruHk.html Serbian John Oliver.

YES.

dude. ukposts.info/have/v-deo/hoJ1baaRZK6JuqM.html you're welcome. also: ukposts.info/have/v-deo/bmSliY97mJmXsac.html

We have South Park for that

j v That’s great and all, but I mean one of those 20 minute segments. His team is more than capable.

damn right

clearly you’ve never been on porn hub

This is how nature produces new Santas.

Maybe one of the Santa's was a woman?

like the words "naughty and nice", some people think those two words go together well, some don't.

Joshua Salem I believe I heard it once before from my father.

#aislefournication

I don't believe I didn't see that. Kudos.

Literally screamed "OOOOOOOW MY GOD" due to that pun. Get out.

You are an amazing person. Never change. Unless that change is getting a writing gig because I need more of that please

Maybe the santas were married to each other, and it technically wasn't fornication.

we did what we had to do to stop it

Well...

Aw xD

"He kept asking little kids to sit in his lap and something about being naughty or nice having to do with his big red sack"

" he was with and old lady in a red and white dress and a little person in a slay being pulled by 9 reindeer and I think one had a red flashlight for a nose, I think I saw it flying but I was really drunk at the time"

"He claimed he was full of Christmas cheer, when he was really full of beer."

"Lots of jizz & beer stains."

He said something about emptying his bed red sack under my christmas tree.

I used to avoid outside Manhattan like the plauge when I lived in NYC due to this.

Just start a Grinch con, and beat up the Santa's.. or jack skeleton con...

Real world can be scary, if you decide to live in fear. I just walked through a sideshow last night, masses of people gathered in the back road intersection, with multiple cards doing donuts. You just have to hold your own energy, and go on about your own life. If you treat people no different, as you would treat any other, it removes that "me vs they" mentality.

@Poppy Kneegrow You're a bit of a douche, huh?

Shu Meister, that's severely underplaying this. This video alone said they get drunk, get in fights and sexually harass people. If someone wants to avoid that then they have every right to do so. Don't expect people to walk into danger just because you think you can 'hold your own energy'. That's how people get hurt, and then blamed because 'well why did you enter this knowingly dangerous looking event?'

So you kinda like this show huh?

Are you me?

@@denzelwenzel kinda?? KINDA?!!

You could reduce your boredom by celebrating at the Santa con

It could be worse. You could be this child.... www.propublica.org/article/house-chairman-says-trump-administration-misled-congress-on-boys-death-in-custody/amp?__twitter_impression=true *Good job America!* Just keep letting children die in encampments!

actually, it could have been: Were back next february, from our new studio in hoboken, new jersey

@@DannyMcFlyCosplay W

Ikr. Can we skip January?

You had no idea

@@rachelrachel9152 we were so innocent back then.

none of US or Iran wants to start it though. Not sure what he' s going to talk about.

He should be back from vacation by now!!!

@Derick G when is the first episode i googled and couldnt find an answer

Oi!! Do not give us a war!! It's a USA war, the world is not into it!!

@@aliliving7774 Tell that to our citrus golem of a president

DaveLH The whole concept of Santa is bizarre. This guy who somehow manages to go down a chimney all over the world into billions of people's home to drop a shitload of presents then back up again flying around in a sleigh driven by Reindeers with names and personalities in a pretty much 6 hour period of time--midnight to 6 am. And somehow Santa also finds time to eat cookies and drink milk at every single house he's in--thats at least almost a billion cookies and glasses of milk in 6 hours. And this is what we continue to lie to our kids about? Why? To teach them not to think logically too young? To say imagine before it's too late? To make Christmas more thrilling with all this pretense? I am serious. There comes a time when we might want to re-think the idea that "the kids love it" or we "do it for the kids" because once they find out we've been lying to them, but sort of blame us when they find out Santa isn't real and it's JUST your dad, mom or whomever, the kids gets upset 1) because there is no magical being giving the kids presents for no reason whatsoever, we basically picked a day that originally was a religious ritual about celebrating the birth or christ or whatnot, with another completely unrelated story that basically motivated shopping sprees. 2) your dad or mom or whatnot is probably not a magical being.

@@jschuler53 what did all of that have to do with this comment?

@@TheSteelSoulGuy Because the whole premise of John's bit is based on this bizarre event, Santa Con which is based in some perverted way on another bizarre notion of a Santa Claus. It is my opinion that we should stop this Santa story, stop people pretending to be Santas in stores, it's all a marketing tool. I guess it would not have bothered you had I put it under a different comment Sorry? I hope this helps.

Aisle 1: Produce. Aisle 4: Reproduce.

@@jschuler53 it clears things up, thanks

dgenerationbigestfan I feel like I understood that joke but then again I think I missed it 😂

@@MultiCardsfan1 David Miscavige, leader of the church of Scientology, has a wife. Her name is Shelly. She hasn't been seen in public since 2007. There is much speculation.

Shelly Miscavige is/was the wife of the leader of Scientology. I believe the story is that she was questioning scientology and was sent to somewhere remote to calm down a bit. But no one has seen her publicly since 2007 and her husband maintains that she is away somewhere at her own will. Might be held against her will, might be dead. No one knows. Anyone feel free to add/correct what I've said but that's my understanding.

*WHERE'S SHELLY, DAVID*

dgenerationbigestfan I wish he’d devote an entire program to Scientology. Then go on to Other Cults that most people think are 👌🏽 okay. I remember the program when John formed his own church. 🤣😂🤣😂

I thought it looked like a Where's Waldo picture!

The same reason a table looks like a table...

My fav part 😂

I don’t get that one Someone care to enlighten me?

Julien Kirsch it’s a reference to Shelly Miscavige, wife of David Miscavige, the leader of Scientology. Shelley hasn’t been seen since, like, 2007

@@libbybollinger5901 Yikes! That guy wreaks creepiness. 😳

@@libbybollinger5901 many people assume she's dead. Kind of dark actually

Ziad Azam best comment on here

At the same Duane Reade that I normally shop at.

I really want to know what that guys hat said

Pinkerton Dan Pie this needs more likes

Good ol winter solstice lol

@@mannyurdaneta7883 and so, we shall chip in.

Well, yeah. Considering that Christmas started out as a pagan Roman solstice festival called the Saturnalia. That was basically an orgy.

#SantaConIsTheTrueMeaningOfChristmas

didn't he kill her?

@@LithiumThiefMusic allegedly

She is 100% dead.

@@jewelsgrl let's make it 90%, if she survived the prison camp till now.

Anyone care to explain the reference?

I can't wait for him to be back

That’s the first thing I said when it was over. “FEBRUARY?!” 🤦🏽‍♂️😔

lets get jim jefferies in to alternate with john

If you grow weed, that's only 1 about harvest bro. Light one up and get your seeds going now.

OK millennial

This...does put a smile on my face

This is from 2022, I can confirm, it's still here! 😆

@@HighOctane01 #Facts

I cracked up laughing, because I spent a good chunk of the '90s and '00s picketing Scientology. It warms the cockles of my cold, cold heart to see that something as obscure as the fate of Shelley Miscavige can make it on to a comedy show.

It's a pretty old joke for many zoomers.

That's because she's probably dead or living in squalid conditions in a dungeon somewhere. That's actually super sad

@@mondoshredder5783 True. I had no idea who this person was and now I know.

**He's not the one picking the kids.**

@Juan Cortez Muro Cut that shit out. Pasting your link to every comment is just sad. I dont know what it is, but pasting it everywhere with the dumb emoji is pathetic.

12 8 19 Hey@@stclemmons1969 , I briefly checked it out. Juvenile stuff talking about crack; I left after 5 seconds. Hope the helps. Be well. v

Santa never said HE was the one who was good 😂

That's because it's a laugh track. Blame the production team.

@@OutSideTheBoxFormat if it's a laugh tracK why would it be a small laugh

@@Arcin00 Why would an audience show up for a 3 minute video? He says at the beginning they are off. Have you ever seen a shot of the audience? I havent.

@@OutSideTheBoxFormat i mean might've just been shot after an episode

@@Arcin00 Have you ever seen a shot of the audience? Like many of these shows at the end they usually have an announcement like " if you'd like to be part of our live audience" followed by contact info. Still have never seen an audience shot like you would see on one of the nightly talk shows or interaction with the audience

You know, if Santa released his statistical data, we could find out if children are becoming nicer or naughtier, and possibly determine what set these trends into motion, and then use that knowledge to improve childcare , leading to happier childhoods and more well-adjusted adults in the future.

Congratulations, you explained the joke.

@@BlackieLeone apparently you did not get the original joke

And he checks it *twice!*

If anything, Krampus is the non judgmental type

That's exactly what i thought. If i was to plan a crime, i would simply conduct it wearing a Santa costume. Good luck following me then.

I think with SantaCon's reputation preceding the event, there are police officers everywhere already.

Pretty sure that's how the violence and crime got started in the first place

That is one of the greatest unspoken secrets of Santacon. You fracture a law, it is easy to blend into a crowd of 100+ Santas.

Remember the last scene from the joker where everyone wears the joker mask and cause chaos? Santa con is pretty much the same

Santa's little helper.

kinda makes you wonder what the santas were doing lol it must have been impressive to generate that guy's reaction...

Im surprised he was not laughing hysterically, I mean what else is an appropriate response to seeing santa fucking santa?

oooh burn for business daddy!!!

Shots fired

I want this pinned.

Mommy santa is passed out on our porch

He sees you when you’re sleeping

NOT AGAIN

Santa is how we teach our children that everything is a lie. Grow up and stop being so naive, billy.

And by his own admission, he masturbates A LOT.

Ooooooooh, I'm dyin'!

@@parasguglani4270 Nothing, and I think that's the point

@@parasguglani4270 Nothing. That's why it's so despairing

Last time I heard about Hoboken is Cake Boss.

I live in New Jersey, and I didn’t even know Santa Con happened here (though I do live at the other end of the state from Hoboken).

Yeah but literally everyone ends up on the nice list.

@@faristasairuv5143 Unless you're poor. Or don't celebrate Christmas.

@@faristasairuv5143 I'm pretty sure that my uncle was actually given coal for Christmas one year when he was a kid.

"the guy who keeps naughty and nice lists." Ted Kaczynski?

@@JemPatrick fuck that’s terrible

I go to college there and I don't think it's bad. What's wrong with it?

If we could post pics to the comments I’d show you one I snapped of a homeless guy taking a shit on a street littered with used needles but I think I made my point🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

@@thefloridamanofytcomments5264 Damn.

where im from they dont arrest you!

But lets also acknowledge that we rarely actually see Santa deliver coal to the naughty kids in his depictions.

@@JonBerry555 no, but in some places he delivers switches instead.

You could get something from Sump'n Claus..

SAMEEE

I also!

@Leopold because it covers Christmas and New Years and all the celebrations of other people and religions. It's very well mannered and the English have the best manners on the planet

@Leopold this one is about Christmas, he's not coming back until February maybe he's not planning on making any more shows until after the holidays

@Leopold sorry I have always said both which ever one I wanted to say and never had any problems. I've said Merry Christmas to Chinese people and Jewish people and they were always as nice as could be

So hot.

"Oh my!" - George Takei

Grant Bradshaw Funny since I HAVE seen two Santas shagging the brains out of each others at Sainsburry’s. It was at cleaning detergent isle though.

@@kennethhwang3425 Maybe it was less shagging and really just chimney sweeping.

Angry Applesauce Well, whatever it was, they had a hell of a time, one Santa even pulled apart the Addicted jock straps of the other Santa while I was picking out Windex. Mrs Claus sure can’t deliver that.

Nailing his maid in his marital bed. That's where.

"Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"

Give me da Turbo Man dahl

Yarg put that cookie down now! NOW!

@@carultch it's naht a tumah!

2020 is the last year in Oliver's contract for the show. With all the potshots they've taken at AT&T since they acquired HBO, I'm sure they're strapping in for a long, possibly last, season

12 8 19 Hey@@Lssssssser, I hope not. I would imagine he'd end up somewhere. Be well. v

@@Lssssssser ATT is the only internet service provider where I live and this video struggled to load at 360p despite paying for 40mbps. Screw ATT

cry :(

Can someone please explain this?

I didn't get it even

@@CodyCzar1 Shelly is the wife of David miscavige, the leader of Scientology. And she haven't been seen in a decade. So we presume she is dead.

Yeah, I don't know what that's about either. I feel like some of the audience also didn't get the reference. Explanation will be appreciated!

Co C David Miscavige is the leader of Scientology. His wife Shelly has been missing or not see in the public eye for like 10+ years. You can google it.

I hope the santas were both men.

That look on his face- innocence lost

sirius4k Yeah, I think they got wasted and forgot to act like bros. That butt stuff will haunt their dreams.

Poor discount Hugh Grant

I'm straight and I'd pay to see that ! How awesome must it have been.

He never said he was good.

How many bad children actually don't get presents though?

Turns out he's not real, just like a certain other invisible man that Christians tell you is judging you at all hours of the day

It is Krampus that take children that has not been good enough. ;-) ukposts.info/have/v-deo/pZ-bppyubol7kmg.html

@@ryanpiotr1929 That depends.. how many bad children are poor?

Manuel He’s going,on tour...I know this because I’m seeing him at Masonic Auditorium in San Francisco on New Year’s Eve! WOOHOO! GO ME!!!

one month

Has it gotten better or worse since the pandemic?

@@uthmanbaksh3530 that is a good question

@@uthmanbaksh3530 that is a good question

@@uthmanbaksh3530 that is a good question

You're allowed to say dick on the internet.

Christmas is just going back to its drunken pagan roots. Seriously: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#Post-classical_history "Various writers of the time condemned caroling as lewd, indicating that the unruly traditions of Saturnalia and Yule may have continued in this form. "Misrule"-drunkenness, promiscuity, gambling-was also an important aspect of the festival." The Puritans even banned it for that reason. Christmas was created to christianize old pagan holidays.

@@griffin3964 that is very interesting, thanks for the background, I had no idea. And what great observation about christmas going back to its drunken pagan roots.christmas is weird.

Whats more wholesome than a bunch of santas spreading the "love"

I mean is it any different than that one time at christmas where the uncle gets drunk dresses as santa and watches as you sleep in a very creepy way? ... no one else? That was just me? So drunk santas, huh?

You'll have to get your own John Oliver

Waiittt what do you mean blames kpop for everything?!?! Please give me an example or a link. ( I hope you all will come out of this victorious btw stay safe)

@@a.a.6789 When the protests began, the goverment started blaming the usual suspects: Venezuelan and Cuban intervention, foreign influences, etc and to justify it they used a big data report. Like an intelligence report. And in that report it said that most anti government internet traffic came from abroad and that also most of those people were kpop fans. Ill look for a link.

@@raullagos5206 Oh wow that is insane... Especially shocked by the Venezuela and Cuba intervention claims, best of luck and thank you for sharing❤❤

@@ApatheticEuphoria but zoomers wont get the reference.

@@ApatheticEuphoria Good for you? That Shelly joke was really funny. Brooklyn Nine Nine did a reference episode about that. But there she turned up alive and as the leader behind it all. Boom boom Charles!;)

Ohhhhh.... condolences

So many layers to my condolences

Take care my dude, hope your sanity recovers soon.

That sounds horrible!

Ouch, hope not too much damage done

Plot Twist: "The List" Keeps Santa. Legend has it...Santa got a chance to give to those in need, and did so in secret. The recipients of his charity had no knowledge of how he came to know their need, so he is thought to have had the ability to see the perceived unknowns. We create "The List" through action, or inaction. The Akashic Record, is like all ripples of action, spreading, and forming a tapestry, and each thread can be followed back, to find the truth. Santa supposedly tapped this record, and followed his own thread back, and was embarrassed at missed opportunities, but while searching to set right for his own life path, found a bottle neck timeloop of the magnetic flow which allowed for a special place (the North Pole) to be utilized as place to do work (in the electrical sense), a reconnection to a portal system allowed him to traverse the multiverse, but only at certain alignments, and the nature of the portals was, as moving down the arc of the magnetic field, a portal first seen high, and then low, when first entered revealed a short window of opportunity, and with the side effect of a rosy glow due to positively charged particles, some may call faerie dust. In order to reach the portal at higher elevation Santa sought the help of great animals, the reindeer, who never seemed to lose their way in the portal paths (no zero time reference), and harnessed the faerie dust residue (possibly Monatomic, or Orbitally Rearranged materials with superconductive qualities in the cold temperatures), to allow for the reverse effect of gravity (levity) to be transferred to the yokes of the reindeer. Through this method, he, then, would have climbed to the portal at its high point, providing longer windows of opportunity to bring more levity (JOY) to the world. "The List" exists, but transforms more to Nice, with everyday good deeds, as Santa came to know through some long travels, and encounters with Elves. Progression for Santa, is tied, through entanglement, to all of Humanity's progression. He is resolved to see the list transform into a all "Nice" list. This may seem unattainable on our track, but Legend has it...Santa has seen some bursts, and leaps that bring about clarity...and with no dark corners "Naughty" loses its taboo appeal, as everything is predictable and known. Choices are made to enlist creative trends from the Elves, though retaining Human creativity also. Turns out, we are pretty awesome, when not struggling with affliction.

Donald Daube...I do not know which is more bizarre, Santa Con or the Santa story we were told and now tell to kids

There’s not much difference between santa and god when it comes to being severely judgmental towards every living soul. Just the old white guy with a beard in red outfit does it once a year where he does a yearly revision, while the old white guy with a beard in a white robe does it continuously all year round. No privacy on this planet, no privacy at all.

@@Stereochemistry best comment ever ..no privacy for sure hilarious

you do know he's fictional, right? sorry you had to find out this way.

🤣🤣 well yeah, when you put it that way!

10:45 am. AM!!!!

I'm just impressed there was a photo.

@@insane_troll It's a graphic made for the show. Nothing that impressive.

Hell yeah, that's what *I* want for xmas!

Vestibule. Same that Chandler was trapped in during a power outage.

On a related note, anyone thinking of educating themselves by reading up on the world's longest con/tax shelter, my advice is to SPACE the books out - I read three of the most poignant scientology (I refuse to capitalise it) books over the summer and was profoundly depressed - Shelley could indeed be confined somewhere and living a waking hell, the same fate has befallen even the most stalwart defenders of Miscaviage, so him locking his wife up in similar misery is entirely plausible.

GamerGod88 Rewatch old episodes? A lot of his jokes might become funnier in hindsight.

JeevesReturns Not a wood chipper?

Mary Rose Kent Whatever works

HOBOKEN!!!!!!! OOOOOOOH, I'M DYING!!!!!!!!!😱😱😱

Just mentioning the state of New Jersey would have you huddled in the corner shuddering in horror. 😂

hawkeye5955 Now I’m in a corner again.

That's a Christmas party I can get behind.