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Agree. The first one ever addressed this narcissistic thing.

By far

absolutely 💯

I concur 💯

Amen. ❤

Because a lie is a lie. A white lie is a lie. A half-truth is a lie. A hidden truth is a lie. A lie by omission is a lie. A lie is a lie. No good foundation was ever built on a lie, hence unresolvable.

I had to stop the video when he said that so I could let it digest, I had the same reaction!

I know, Hun. I did that 6 months ago and still struggling. Sending big hugs 💕

@@heatherwagar5868 thank you so much 💜

Not easy at all, i am on the same journey, stay loyal to your self, you got this

@@linamico6483 💙

Here is your hug ❤ DONT EVER GO BACK!!!!!

Sam thanks for being so candid.

1000%

Absolutely agree with you 💯

An awesome video.amaizing.Love your sense of humour???Thankyou very much.xo

I’ve heard the same.. nice guys don’t have to say it

Only hundreds? 🙄😒😶‍🌫️

Mirroring ? Reality if we are honest , we all.have imperfections, flaws , shortcomings , failures , actions that brought shame , embarrassment, guilt , shame , no doesn't make us bad , does prove we are not all good either , and these things are not a topic most of us relish dwelling on or discussing as our favorite topic , so it's gaining consensus topic closed , we are not to go there , and that's the rule , like you I am a good person ? Wrong we are not alike , as they intentionally deceive , abuse , use , lie , cheat , steal , destroy , harm , and no not all of us are like that !

The narcissistic dick that I know, always described himself as a guy with simple tastes.

He is the only one who has helped me. He opened the book of my life from cover to cover.

I'm only 2 minutes into this video a game changer for me. Thank you, doctor!

​@@rachelvoss5519yessss ❤

They be delulu

He may appear sincere but that’s not possible with a narcissist.

They love to humiliate you in public, restaurants are a favourite!

o😅 1:51:58

The love of a mother for her child should be unconditional, love between adults should not.

.......... The love of a father for his child should also be unconditional.

Relatable!❤thanks

@@jaroslavasteinova7657 you haven't been in a long term relationship yet have you? That's how you stay married. 💯 I don't mean accept bad behavior. I am talking about love ❤️

Attorneys are the worst. They don’t want to know. It gets in the way of them making the most of these cases. It’s just another opportunity for them to prolong hell and collect more money. And I wonder how many attorneys are in fact narcs themselves. My hopefully very soon to be ex narc husband of several decades, has worked for law firms for the last 15 years and he has been a shittier person with each year. And of course he’s gone higher and higher on the ladder in the pay scale at the same time. So he’s been even more of a dick. he’s learning all the tricks about how to screw me over, using the legal system, and is still trying to steal from, so I’m destroyed and penniless when he’s finally gone.

Now that I’m divorcing him, all my friends and family are telling me that they never liked him from the get-go, only now providing specific examples. Not one of them told me this. Over the years, they have noticed my horrible treatment, and no one has said anything.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this. I experienced similar, and still am trying to understand

Same... my mother is a narcissist. I went to therapy for over 12 years. It was an amazing experience for me. I also went no contact for a few years, then allowed contact, then they went no contact with me for 10 years. Psychologists all told me I could never have a relationship of any kind with my mother. I understood what they were saying, but learning to love myself, and heal from many trauma's, and I had gone to university to become a psychologist, I came to the decision that I deserved my mother. It wasn't about her. I loved her, because love is unconditional and it's my nature. My children loved her and they deserved a grandma. Their fathers and other grandparents had passed away young. I've seen my mother as a 5 year old since I was very young. When men are around, she hides behind me like a child would with their mother. I'm not willing to be her mother or be crucified by her. like my ego, I let them be in the spot light, and imagine myself in the audience, entertained by their performance and try to accept them, never threaten to delete them. I know she'll never be happy, but that's ok. I am. As she's entered old age she has changed in that she doesn't remember things, she can't do a lot anymore, she needs help and knows that she can't get the help she needs with bad behavior. As a family with many siblings we have been a support to each other, seeing how she has always tried to divide us, we have all helped each other maintain our good relationships with each other. None of us want to destroy our mother. We wish we could help her choose loving behavior, optimism, and believe that we accept her as she is. We all know she isnt capable of love. Most of the time her and I get along very well. Less and less, does she try to start arguments, but she still does the flying monkeys all the time. I just don't let her know who my friends are and chose to not get close to her friends. So I just wanted to say that I have never wanted to destroy my mother... I have wanted to get back at her or hurt her back or get some kind of justice, but I know that's not for me. I surrender that to the laws of the universe and let it go. And carry on enjoying my life seeing how I had many mothers in school teachers, a grandmother, pychologists, myself and one biological. I honor them all.

Congratulations on becoming and remaining free, despite external pressure. ❤

​@jodsterf I feel similarly to you about my mother. I wish I had more people around who were able and willing to support us in the way you and your siblings do.

My dad too and now he got alzheimers and we all supposed to pretend he was not cruel. My mom has dementia. She withstood alot. Strange. We pretend yet still have childhood anger! All 5 kids. Aka inside dogs

Ditto.

Most relatable comment

I feel your pain. Good luck with getting away. Pray hard! I haven't found the road that leads out of this trauma 😢

I know exactly how you feel. It is no life having to be continually on guard with these degenerates. There are normal people out there. Don't lose hope.

Just curious....was this admissable during divorce proceedings? If so, was that why she lost custody?

I don't think she could have avoided this. According to Sam, it's just who she is, and ever shall be.

@@kellimeer3698 Yes, but isn't that a shame. I can't quite wrap my head around the notion that a person "always remains what they are" as that sounds more like a program than a flesh and blood human being with free will. I would like to think one day she will apologize or say she was wrong or messed up when she is old and can no longer depend on her looks and manipulation to get what she temporarily wants.

@@GuinnessPhish My kids were of age so as teenagers they decided to stay with me after she moved in with her latest boyfriend She fought like to hell to avoid my kicking her out of the house, and tried to deflect all the blame upon me, esentially that I deserved to be cheated on. Even my step daughter, who I raised from a child (her dad later committed suicide) opted to stay with me. The entire marriage experiment with her was a very sad state of affairs. I did truly love her, but I will never talk to her again. I have stuck by my step daughter, however, and am now putting her through college. I'm sure my ex narc wife laughs at me, as she did in some of the recordings the PI got.

Honest people never say that...honest people also know they'd be lying if they said that Because, in spite of their desire to be totally honest, they are also good. And there is a lie lesser of evil- the so-called white lie of omission. Do you like my new dress? (No its awful- what's the most honest next thing I can say) I love that shade of blue on the cuffs! An honest person strives for honesty, so they'd never be convinced enough to say that....particularly to somebody they are about to lie to😂

I didn't directly pray but after a bout with my narcc this video came up with EXACTLY what had just transpired. I believe It was from God. ❤

When the student is ready... the teacher appears 😂✌🏻

There are no coincidences my friend

No contact is a must. Block him. Delete his number. If you respond at all the narcissistic dance is on and he will go back to destroying you. You deserve to heal and learn boundaries and what healthy relationships look like. Until that happens, surround yourself with good people you can trust and stay out of romantic relationships. You will heal and grow only if you remove him from your life. Hugs and best wishes.

No contact. It’s your only salvation.

Thank you very much. It's difficult but I am maintaining " no contact". I can't believe the manipulation behind everything he writes. For my peace, I don't read at all. I think I didn't say that we were married for 14y. At least now I don't wonder any more what happened. How did love turn out to be the single greatest disaster in my life? I wish only I had known about narcissistic behaviour earlier but I am happy that I left as I don't believe I would be alive today if I didn't.

​@@almiratutnilovic7973oh good thanks for the update lol. I was like noooo dont feel bad for , or do but don't ever talk to him again , was hoping u didn't not let him back. Whew. Good to hear you went and stayed no contact. Good for you. You know there is nothing good can ever happen with a person like that always remember it's pointless you'll only get hurt

Try and write down all the horrible crisis you went through and why you felt you had yo leave him for your own safety, mental health or life. And whenever you think you might weaken, just read it again. Just not to lose touch with reality.

NICE❤

Agree, you have to have a hard look at yourself after experiencing Narcissistic Abuse. Yes we were blindsided and taken advantage of, but if we'd been more aware, had boundaries and dropped the people pleasing tendencies, we'd never have got so burnt. The healing comes from understanding the Narcissist and understanding your own flaws and why they have persisted from your childhood. We don't beat ourselves up but accept our role in it and work out how we need to change so that it never happens again. It's an immense opportunity for personal growth, once we get out of the fog and the nightmare.

I agree totally. So many are leading groups.

A life unexamined is not worth living yes !

Absolutely agree!

Vaknin.

@@samvaknin My apologies. It was a typo.

Sam is stating nothing but 💯 facts about these people. For some reason I was convinced that I was a narcissist and that’s how I came about these videos, as I watched I realize he was projecting. I’ve got clarity. Thank you Sam

Professor Vankin, AWAKENING indeed. Thank you !

I am ….

I have only recently discovered the truth about my wife- the mother of my children and the person who was supposed to be my "soul mate" for the last 20 years. I had no idea about all of her secret lives until after she pulled "final discard" on me after I was diagnosed with Parkinsons. I had known she had trauma and abandonment issues- she was abandoned at birth, adopted as the 3rd adopted child by a couple who tried, but the father was a workaholic who didn't discuss emotions and the mother was a manic depressive who once slit her wrists when my wife was a child. She survived but to "alleviate stress" my wife was sent to live with relatives so the mother could have less stress. She was then kicked out of the house and sent to boarding schools for her teenaged years for normal teen ages acting out. Then sent to an adolescent rehab for Marijuana and alcohol- something all her classmates were doing but were never sent away for when caught. My question is this: For the first 10 years we were together she exhibited more Borderline-like behavior. Then I fell 3 stories at work almost dying , and she seemed only then to begin NpD like behavior. She is most definitely covert NPD now- and getting markedly worse in her 50s. Can Borderline's transform into Covert Narcs?

It is the worst and hardest thing to deal with. It wasn’t my mother. My mother was codependent. This abuse started at the age of 13 from the boy next door. The push pull hot cold relationship started this young with me. Eventually married at 18 and was abused until he passed away at 46. Sam said if the narc doesn’t want you gone you will NEVER get away. This was what happened. I tried over and over to get away. There were years I was able to keep him at bay but eventually would get drawn right back into the relationship and the abuse. It took death to finally become free. I’m 60 years old now and just coming across this information and am in psychotherapy dealing g with complex trauma.

SAME.😢

The worst thing that has happened to you is the worst thing thats happened to you. Youre still here.

Yes, but this narc was very bad and most people cannot see it as Sam said always. I was intoxinated in this horror marriage...

"I am only human" as if we saw them as superhuman 😂😂😂 Mine said that to me and I had enough, called him subhuman and no better than a talking iguana... he never said that phrase again!

Since I heard Prof. Vaknin for the first time, it is my birthday almost every day!

You aren’t a narcissist. It sounds like what you’re doing is being triggered so that you have reactive, anger, so that the narc can use this as their evidence that you have an anger problem. The dick I’m divorcing, his only complaint, and only recently, has been my anger. He has not once apologized for multiple ongoing decades, long transgressions. Ever. It’s normal to be angry after you have been fucked over and gaslight. Do not buy the bullshit. You just need to heal. The only person who has ever infuriated me this much has been my narcissistic mother for the first 20 years of my life and then my dickhead narcissistic husband for 27 years. There’s a reason I’m only angry with them. in fact, when he finally admitted after being in treatment, two weeks that he’d been getting hand jobs for a year and a half, without even taking a breath, he matter-of-factly said that when he got out of treatment, we would have some repair work to do as a couple.80% of my anger instantly dissolved because finally my world made sense. I very matter-of-factly told him I would not be joining him at Family week and I would no longer be accepting his calls and would be notifying his therapist of this.

That's amazing. *Good to hear the success stories!* 😊

I am I seems pretty ambiguous to me. What about it says grandiosity?

Hahahahahahah😅😂

It says to me that he must be accepted for who he is but would never give that acceptance to another. I am I but how dare you be you.

All these people who don’t get it are just maddening. And I wish they would go away. Could there be one place we can talk about these horrible demons without being preached to by people who are either intentionally obtuse like my malignant, narcissistic mother-in-law, or want to blame the victim?

Unless they are trying to kill you.

Hugging you today and everyday.

SAME. Husband is alcoholic so that he can be his true self evenings and weekends, after faking during the work week.

Better looking, sure. But I couldn’t possibly get smarter! 😂

You’re probably too kind, too empathetic, too nice and too decent of a person. And they can spot you a mile sweetheart. But now you’re wise and listening to these videos, you’re empowered.

Me too. It's exhausting just trying to survive. Living in poverty in a domestic violence shelter. I am bitter. But I married him. Which seemed perfectly normal, after being raised by narc parents.