Overcoming the Failure of My First Marriage ft. Rachel Lim | Aiken Chia
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День томуRachel Lim is the co-founder of highly successful m Singapore Fashion Label - Love, Bonito. The ending of this interview shocked me in the best way possible. @rachreflects has showed me the importance of living wide awake, not just sailing through life, choosing to be better, not bitter, owning our authenticity and taking ownership of our growth. When I last checked, Rachel ever only spoke publicly about her divorce once and I would like to thank her for sharing her story so powerfully and vulnerably here.
00:00 - Introduction and how Rach and I know met
02:10 - Growing up as a middle child in a big family
03:35 - Experiencing family bankruptcy and moving into a 1 room flat
05:10 - Rachel's Mom's secret to never losing her joy
06:50 - Rachel's family dynamics
08:04 - How Love, Bonito was birthed
10:18 - Where were you in your personal life when business grew in scale?
11:52 - Starting with a vision/mission vs starting without
12:43 - On her business partner leaving the company
15:00 - Choosing to be bitter or better
17:20 - Discovering Love, Bonito's purpose
18:40 - Trying to emulate other leaders and why it didn't work
21:39 - What are your leadership strengths?
22:54 - How a Founder/Boss can also be a people-pleaser
26:44 - Advice to the recovering people-pleasers
29:10 - My practical experience on healthy confrontation
32:05 - The Failure of Rachel's first marriage
35:05 - Being married in her early 20s
37:00 - How did your family respond to your decision for the divorce?
38:10 - Going through process of divorce
39:25 - Did divorce make you cynical about marriage?
42:16 - How did you meet Leo?
43:29 - Any fears to confront after the first marriage?
44:44 - Is Leo more similar to you or different?
45:45 - How has Leo's differences positively complimented you?
48:05 - Stereotypes of marrying someone older
51:20 - How did you separate your titles from your identity?
55:00 - I am not the best CEO for the company I founded
1:05:40 - What do you spend money on?
This episode was filmed on 24th April 2023
Produced by: Gaius Gay
Videography: Charmaine Zheng
Editor: Axel Tan + Mark Yeow
2nd Camera: Nicole Tan
Sound: Virus
Created with the help of BLACKMAGIC DESIGN
🍔: @aikenchia | @charzheng | @gaiusgaye
💌: aiken@everygoodendeavour.com
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Just wanted to thank Rachel for sharing so vulnerably and powerfully! Love, Bonito has also generously extended a little something just for our viewers! You can enjoy 10% off min spend off $120 via promo code LBAIKENSPECIAL, valid from the published date of this video to 31 March 2024 2359 and applicable for online purchases only on bit.ly/aikenchiapodcast
@jolene_nwj 2 місяці тому
"How can I continue to admire your giftings while not questioning mine?" 🔥I am impacted by Rachel's authenticity and vulnerability & I am absolutely loving this series!
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
This is one to keep 💯 agreed!
@SIYIIII 2 місяці тому
I did not expect to take away so many life lessons from this episode 🤯 Like how happiness & jealousy can co-exist and how we can deal with it healthily!! Lovin’ this series and this episode Aiken, you both are an inspiration to many!! ✨💛
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Right?!?! Omg that part blew my mind too! Like, to admit and hold space for both feelings was really raw but also really human! 🖤🖤🖤
@Jay-ru2cw 2 місяці тому
I love this episode so much! Thanks Aiken and team for diving into different aspects of Rach’s life that are not shared on other platform. Thanks Rach for sharing! You are one of my favourite idols!
@irinlah 2 місяці тому
Amazing dynamics! Aiken asking all the right questions and Rach dishing out world class answers. 💯 Structured yet organic, formal yet casual, inspiring yet genuine.
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thank you! 💙🙏 my second interview and still learning. Appreciate your comment!
@queuepls 2 місяці тому
I took so much from this interview with Rachel; her strength, humility and love for her community. If someone were to ask who is someone I look up to in Singapore, it will be Rachel Lim for me. God bless you, Rachel!
@joanpung81 2 місяці тому
Im deeply encouraged by Rachel's experiences and her courage in overcoming the obstacles that she's facing. I was like I need to re-watch this the 2nd time again🙌
@hannahlee398 2 місяці тому
What a great episode. Thank you so much Aiken and Rachel ❤
@benaiahlim3322 2 місяці тому
I thoroughly enjoyed watching this. Aiken you’re in your element - the mood was intimate yet without broaching unnecessary boundaries; difficult questions were asked yet maintaining a relaxed atmosphere. Bravo.
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thank you Ben 💙 relatively new to this and this was my second interview. I appreciate your encouragement!
@serenepang1411 2 місяці тому
This is the only video that is at the back of my mind and I know I need to come back and finish it! Rach really have the power of sharing and making viewers like me listen to her so hard and I see myself nodding my head every time she shares ❤ thank you so much for this episode, Aiken and team!
@ryantan810 2 місяці тому
Thank you for having this session, Aiken & Rachel. It is such vulnerable, open and authentic sharing. Hope you find your calling for your next stage, Rachel.
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thanks for watching and for commenting Ryan! It's a new endeavour for us and we appreciate you sticking around
@hokaylen4727 2 місяці тому
Thank you for making this episode. I love and respect Rachel Lim so much. She has helped me in my own journey of growth from a student to now a working adult. I hope that I’ll be able to interact with her one day.
@meredixie4088 2 місяці тому
This episode felt like therapy. Thank you both for being vulnerable and helping to express a lot of jumbled emotions into words. Had a lot of 'ohhhh so that's what it issss' moments 😂
@RL-we7dg 2 місяці тому
Wow what an awesome interview! Raw and honest sharing. May this interview bless others as much as it has blessed me
@user-gi5qb6jz6k 2 місяці тому
To celebrate the success of someone without undermining your own strength is great strength. Like the direction of this serious and the authentic sharing.
@wong339 2 місяці тому
Love this series! Such a deep and vulnerable sharing. Truly inspiring and relatable in many ways! Rac definitely has the gifts to be a life coach or inspirational speaker!
@winshah05 2 місяці тому
Such a warm & important discourse between these 2! Love it!!! ❤
@melsingsmel 2 місяці тому
Wow. Eye opening and enriching. I’m on a journey of self-discovering again!! It’s enlightening to know that I can do something about my response and my future, not just drowning in regrets, blaming and what not. So good episode!!!❤ Thank you for sharing authentically. I really can relate to authenticity!!
@happyvibes5410 2 місяці тому
Such a great and inspiring conversation! Thank you to both of y'all for this episode :)
@mushroomtarian 2 місяці тому
Thank you so much Aiken for this great episode, and asking the questions that I believe many viewers would wanna ask Rach too. It was a truly inspirational episode with the open and honest sharing by Rach and yourself too. Looking forward to many more of your great works. JIAYOU Aiken n team!
@RON-xp7wr 2 місяці тому
this was such a good interview & an inspiring watch. Thank you for sharing your story & for being real. Took away so much from this, keep it coming Aiken & team! ❤
@theuptownlife 2 місяці тому
Thank you for this intimate and vulnerable conversation ❤ Appreciate it a lot
@comfortandgrowth 2 місяці тому
Loved this super relatable and insightful episode, Rach in her element!❤❤❤❤
@karlyntay8144 2 місяці тому
Such a great and comforting video! Thanks for this Aiken! 🥲🥲🥲
@audreywong5316 2 місяці тому
Thank you Aiken, awesome! Rachel's story is so inspiring. I m super encouraged esp whn she willing to let go but to trust who she is rather than what she is. Though not knowing her personally but jst felt her heart n connected w her. Rachel, continue to be e salt n light! God ll definitely bless n move you into greater way beyond u really can imagine!
@TheLeeJinki 2 місяці тому
The interview was extremely insightful and was wonderful to pick up lessons from, thank you to Aiken and the team for sharing this content! If I may comment though, the audio sounds soft throughout so it's as if my volume has to be increased to a pretty high volume to ensure Rachel and Aiken is audible. Plus, audio has a minor reverb when Rachel speaks. Just hoping for the overall experience to be better as more guests speak to Aiken (Assuming there are more interviews).
@OneFootFront Місяць тому
Thank you so much Aiken for featuring Rachel! Also, thank you Rachel for the many life lessons! Just when I was searching for some encouragement for myself, I found this. I thank God for you both. This is what I need currently as I continue to recover and to know "who I am" again. Thank you
@daphinelam7336 2 місяці тому
Another wonderful episode! Thanks for such an awesome sharing 😊❤
@tashaculus4582 2 місяці тому
Good job, Aiken! Saw your interview with your mom which was amazing. This is another good one. Congrats!! Also your set looks beautiful! A
@ckpey1664 Місяць тому
Thanks so much for this interview w Rachel. It truly is so inspirational and encouraging. Keep it up. Jia you to both of you.
@ABiteOfMe 2 місяці тому
Really love this on-going series, from Mama Rose and Rachel, great direction Aiken.
@Valkwa 2 місяці тому
I took 43 years, and it is an ongoing journey. Look forward to the highs the and lows. Always look for the end of the rainbow.
@Rewindtoreplaymusic 2 місяці тому
"Don't sail through life just because it's the next most reasonable stage" - favourite quote
@joanneteo8094 Місяць тому
So powerful, inspiring and enlightening. Love how grounded she is as well and acknowledging God in her journey. Thanks for sharing!
@PangRenTan Місяць тому
Therapy sia~~~ good stuff Aiken, pls keep producing more stuff like this. I love it ABSOLUTELY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY !!! 🥰🥰🥰
@nonelikekyu 2 місяці тому
rachel, you are so beautiful inside and out. i can listen to you forever (where's the 8-hour director's cut HAHA). great interview, aiken 🥺
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thank you 💙 😊 🙏 HAHAHA more episodes to come
@rebekahwong8346 2 місяці тому
love this sharing from Rachel! thanks for doing this series so well!
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thank you for watching and commenting!
@sinyanchloe1420 2 місяці тому
I’m so incredibly blessed by this interview. I believe God sent this interview for me to watch at the perfect time when I felt really down about myself. Teared and cried multiple times throughout the hr long interview. So many parts spoke straight to me and are exactly what I need to work through in my own growth journey. I’m sure many women (and men) would be blessed hearing this. Continue doing this great work! I truly believe you’re onto something here!
@RayMak 2 місяці тому
This is so beautiful
@secretlykatholic 2 місяці тому
Hello! Aiken we really love this new series from you, it brings so much depth and we appreciate you AND your village so much better… thank you so much. This is our first UKposts comment, …hope you take this as a huge compliment! Hehe. And I decided to comment on this one because Rachel is such an inspiration to me as someone who built Love Bonito, her heart, and the journey she’s been on.
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Aww thank you for spending your first youtube comment on us 💙 now that I'm independent, it's been great to be able to show other facets and interests besides the usual! Thank you for watching and commenting! More to come 💙
@quibblegaze 2 місяці тому
0:35: ⚽ Exploring the long-standing connection and shared growth between the speaker and Rachel, a former schoolmate. 5:56: 💪 Discovering resilience through hardships and learning to hold onto inner strength and mindset. 10:52: ⏳ Early beginnings of a passion project with sacrifices made for growth. 15:46: 💪 Discovering inner strength and purpose to overcome challenges in personal and professional life. 20:53: 🌟 Realizing and appreciating individual strengths led to personal growth and team unity. 26:08: 💪 Realizing the importance of prioritizing oneself and overcoming the fear of disrupting peace by people-pleasing. 31:30: 💬 Importance of addressing conflicts calmly and objectively to improve relationships and personal growth. 36:52: 💔 Realizing the need for self-fulfillment and honesty in a failing marriage. 42:27: 💑 Meeting Leo in an unlikely place led to a friendship that blossomed into love. 47:37: 💪 Facing and overcoming stereotypes as a divorced individual with an older partner, providing hope to others. 53:02: 💪 Rachel Lim's journey of separating herself from her business to prioritize personal well-being and relationships. 58:23: 🌟 Recognizing humility and growth in stepping down from CEO position to allow company to thrive. 1:03:56: ⭐ Embracing personal growth and strengths to serve the world, defying labels, and encouraging others to explore the unknown. Timestamps by Tammy AI
@qingyuanguan Місяць тому
Your video made me feel the warmth of home. Thank you for sharing!
@JesslynnLer 24 дні тому
Thank you for the whole team for making this interview! It is definitely worth the time watching it and taking self learning note on how it can apply to my own of self-discovery journey. Some of us may not have the luxury to go through professional, but have been following Rachel’s at her own interviews with professional and that somehow works too! Also seeing how she being consistent in every platform, I think that is how authentic would be like. Once again, thank you Aiken and the team for arranging the episode and it definitely encourage me in my season of life!
@cheriechan6461 2 місяці тому
This is a great episode! Love it so much!
@zhixuanlim2667 2 місяці тому
Hi Aiken, rly rly love your work, I can really see God's hands on the content you produce. Keep going!
@zhixuanlim2667 2 місяці тому
I also wanted to share that Rachel's story of overcoming her first marriage at 22-23 years old, my goodness, I just went through the end of my first relationship and I had the same thoughts as Rachel, and I am so thankful for her story because it just shows me that God is a redeemer, and He has written our future, and it gives me hope for my future relationship
@Danowano88 2 місяці тому
Love this so so so much!!! ❤
@star2like261 Місяць тому
Great conversation with lots of insights into the journey of life.❤
@SkyUltimecia91 2 місяці тому
Good podcast but will be great if Aiken is able to cut back on the interception i.e. all the ‘ya’ ‘yes’ ‘uhm’ whenever the guest is saying something. Audio-wise, it doesn’t make for a smooth listen. I understand you probably wanted to let the guest know you’re listening but it’ll be better to let the guest finish their sentences / response before acknowledging what they said. Nodding would suffice to show that you’re actively listening 👍🏻
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thanks for the feedback Dan! I thought the same when I was editing this episode. Truly new grounds for me and I'm still learning. Thank you watching and commenting 🖤
@JKNana 2 місяці тому
Love how genuine and warm-hearted the ep is! ❤
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
💙💙💙
@dottydot06 27 днів тому
So good, I'm in awe & my mind is blown esp the ending. Thank you both!
@AikenChiaMing 26 днів тому
Thank you for watching and commenting!
@yyl5336 2 місяці тому
Love love aiken! Glad u struck out yourself, away from the shadows of noc!
@user-lx1cp8ig7y 2 місяці тому
What she said is so true. Life experience for her.
@lawrencechia4922 2 місяці тому
Amazing interview, Rachel I am a fan now
@danielli6636 2 місяці тому
Go forward together, one and all!
@lendleasereit6797 2 місяці тому
It's not easy to be a good interviewer. In my opinion, aiken is a dam good interviewer
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Aww thank you! I'm very very new to this, it was my second interview so I really appreciate your encouragement!
@pehsarah8333 2 місяці тому
@@AikenChiaMingkeeping shining forward Aiken ✨ sharing my 3rd public YT comment here shyly and manifesting doing sth (or just an interaction) as cool, vulnerable and inspiring like this with you someday 🫰🏻
@nicholasong3435 2 місяці тому
Super impactful
@XbabynovaX 19 днів тому
I don’t think anyone should be shamed for divorcing. It’s so sad that Rachel had to reiterate several times that she is not ashamed. There shouldn’t be any shame at all in the first place. Virtual hugs to divorcees.
@cheok316 Місяць тому
Simply WOW! Rachel, you are great inspiration to every one. Id love to know who your professional support team when you had problems and issues. I also suffer from people pleaser as well
@hatchegg80 Місяць тому
Hey, i really enjoyed and learnt from this. Usually i think these influencer/celeb talks are just bs
@lynnwee99 2 місяці тому
Jiayou! Continue to do what you are doing! Great content!
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Oh my gosh?! Thank you for your gift? We really appreciate this! This entire project is self-funded, thank you!
@user-rz2nj2kr4h 2 місяці тому
Rachel strength is continue to be a visionary leader as human, business women, wife and mum.
@mamaliping 2 місяці тому
Very soul powerful!
@bchewy 2 місяці тому
Love the kind of videos you’re doing now Aiken!
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
More to come! Thank you
@aipingthen7828 2 місяці тому
Aikennnn! I’m not sure if you remember me. Anyway…. Have been following you for awhile and love your work, and your desire to honour God. ❤ thank you, for your content, and keep up the good work ❤
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Oh my!! Hello Ai Ping! Of course I remember! Thank you so much for leaving this comment and for following. I really appreciate it! SHSS represent! Haha hope you're doing good and well 💙 this series is entirely self-funded and ad/sponsor-free, so we really appreciate your gift!
@victoriahuang8035 2 місяці тому
Wow. So so so good.
@Gyeohzaza 2 місяці тому
Great episode!!!
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
💙 thanks for watching!
@roselinetan294 2 місяці тому
Was this interview filmed way back? Haha i really enjoyed it!!! Byt just curious cos rach is now a mum of 2 and that wasnt mentionez 😅 but awesome interview and definitely took away many precious life lessons🎉
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Yes it was! This was filmed last year before Rach had her second :)
@alui5362 2 місяці тому
idk man.... love u as always aiken, and btw that's a really beautiful set and cool neighbourhood view. after watching rachel over a number of her interviews, I must say she always comes across to me as an image-crafter. so always got more inauthentic, 'i'm here to market myself' vibes, rather than prioritising (sometimes ugly) truth and genuine conversation.
@cashmerehazel21 2 місяці тому
Agree, it's getting less authentic though I know her intentions to share are sincere. Somehow the 'PR training' is seeping through.
@odechan9659 2 місяці тому
Love this
@yapparistory 2 місяці тому
Amazing sharing ❤❤❤
@j1o23kfgall 2 місяці тому
good series, hope the audio can be better, cheers
@JeslindaLiu 2 місяці тому
the audio seems abit soft .. but thanks for the wonderful sharing..
@stacyteo4412 2 місяці тому
Dear Aiken, if you could fix the subtitles where hearing impaired or our hearing slightly disabled friends could read captions that aren’t jumbled like “love ponito 🤣🤣”, or “watch Sharman thrive” I’m sure they would love you for it 🎉🎉🎉🎉. From a mum watching in silence while putting her baby to sleep
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Oh wow!! Thank you for the feedback! We'll do our best to sub the next episode! ❤ jiayou momma!!!
@tangubabo 2 місяці тому
Thank you for this! And also Aiken, the volume seems to be so low - i turned everything up to no avail. Is it my speakers?
@yihaod Місяць тому
@@tangubabo I felt so too! the audio is too soft in this episode, my speakers (normally at 40-50%) had to be cranked to 100 @AikenChiaMing
@elliesescapades 2 місяці тому
Where’s the coupon code to buy her clothes???? Enjoyed the personal touch!😂🎉 Another good one Aiken
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thank you! You can enjoy 10% off min spend off $120 via promo code LBAIKENSPECIAL, valid from the published date of this video to 31 March 2024 2359 and applicable for online purchases only on bit.ly/aikenchiapodcast
@aletheazoom2192 2 місяці тому
Whoa Deep! ❤
@xxuenii 2 місяці тому
Ehh maybe i sua ku. Suggest you put her title 'Founder of Love Bonito' or something, because I was actually confuse on she was, and didnt click on the video But thankfully i clicked it in the end. I was so absorbed haha And I liked that Aiken asked enough about her divorce, but never overdo it
@1991Depa 2 місяці тому
Aiken asks great questions But some of the answers are a bit vague. Just my opinions
@lendleasereit6797 2 місяці тому
She can choose not to share beyond what she feels comfortable with. Sure they can be vague. I think she presented herself very well tho
@Yovitanism 2 місяці тому
Aiken, the audio is a bit too soft =(
@jessical7083 Місяць тому
Er who is this girl? Is she an actress? Model? Are we supposed to know her? I wish there was some background, as i doubt this lady is automtically known.
@ChirpyChat 2 місяці тому
How easy it is to say "I married real young" - 22 is not that young - and realize only after a year that both were not mature enough to make it work. This is where premarital counsellors can tell couples to wait and not buy into the 'sunken cost fallacy' (dated for 5 years).
@zacklee22 2 місяці тому
How are you today ☺️ Aiken and I am Zack from Malaysia and I really like the video 📹 and can you pls pray 🙏 for me to have wisdom tq
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Hi zack! Thanks for watching. Hope you've been loving the services too. God bless ❤
@zacklee22 2 місяці тому
Aiken can you lead ( Praise By Elevation Worship ) in your church when you are leading worship next
@test101me 2 місяці тому
Audio is low.
@tangubabo 2 місяці тому
Oh good, it's not just me lol.
@relaxjen 2 місяці тому
volume soft
@evanlimcs 2 місяці тому
Use better mics, but keep that content and intriguing questions as a part of this channel's DNA.
@pamelakoh4660 2 місяці тому
🙏❤👍🙏
@Gamebred-Nightmare 2 місяці тому
Default volume abit low
@AikenChiaMing 2 місяці тому
Thanks for the feedback! Will work on it for future episodes!
@yyl5336 2 місяці тому
The old love bonito was much nicer. I miss the old love bonito designs.
@grik8391 Місяць тому
aiken why not make same show like food king in your own channel ? i think singapore need food show like your previous shows
@sulsulserena 2 місяці тому
Rach always says the same thing in interviews and podcasts...
@lifeisgood902 9 днів тому
They accents sound funny 😂
@tanroger2117 2 місяці тому
wonder if it ever crossed his mind to not wear shorts during an interview....
@khokl9288 2 місяці тому
Does long pants generate more views😅😂it's his channel he can do what he wants. You wear long pants and watch lor
@rangerpig8324 2 місяці тому
Aiken why your legs at 37.02 look so different in size sia.
@adolf12345 2 місяці тому
Ive always thought aiken was gay lol
@user-ed2cf7mu2h Місяць тому
""Ultimately I want to live a life that is accountable to God" , Proceeds to divorce. Lol.
@bunnystrasse 29 днів тому
😂😂😂
@zueinder89 Місяць тому
Does she always sound like that? Funny accent. Too nervous?
@sg1965sg 2 місяці тому
Bro, are you aiming to be the next Oprah? Otherwise you are confusing your branding… too serious lah. Stay in your lane and do the fun stuff please. 🙏
@zacv1184 2 місяці тому
Wait what? Are you ok???
@tangubabo 2 місяці тому
And so what if he was aiming to be Oprah? You aiming to be God?
@miadelle528 2 місяці тому
she talks too much
@KC-le5ti 2 місяці тому
55:00 The story of Rachel looking for a CEO to run for her very own company reminds me of the movie "The Intern". And this movie is my top one of all time🥹
@iamsexxy Місяць тому
Aiken for a start, ask the guest How are you feeling?!!! Dont be in a rush to share your thoughts and feelings because you’re the host.. we want to hear the guest speak.. more.. Also, do intro usually your guests’ background because in your head, you know them but we viewers dont know. Lastly, reduce your umm yeah yup ok right sure.. this cloud and distort the guest entire sentence and ‘sound’. Watch those GREAT podcaster, they dont do that: because if anyone wants to cut and edit the guests’ speech and make it into some other motivational video, your voice of umm yeah wow right yep yep is in it. As a listener, its damn annoying too. Im sharing this very frankly cos i want to see my local brother do well. good luck
AIKEN CHIA
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