Can I just pity the poor teachers at Mount St Joseph High School having both Peter and Paddy at the same time.

The line 'If it'd been an inch lower, it would have been instant death' always has me crying with laughter.

He brings a breath of fresh air to comedy, is not vulgar, swearing, smutty, needs no vile speaking to encourage laughter, just plain and down to earth reality, presented in a very lively manner

any teachers in tonight? ay, ay, don't shout! Put your hands up! one rule for you......

"I'll kill her I'll feckin' kill her, where's me shatterproof ruler?" - Best call back in comedy history.

“Someone’s thrown a shatterproof ruler at Carol Farrel!” cracks me up every single time.

Peter Kay is a treasure. His jokes are based around Northern working class family experiences usually from a few decades back. I hope that younger folk, Southerners and other folks around the world can catch the accent, understand the dialect and relate to the experiences because he's soooooooo funny and his humour is absolutely good-hearted, everybody should be able to access it.

Love how all is comedy is based on real life times so people can actually relate to it! Brilliant!

Love how he takes the Mickey out of his mate Paddy McGuinness 🤣🤣

"We had humans they weren't all nuns" - so underrated!

I really miss you on the TV come back soon

*_"Let the thick see the table!"_* never gets old.

Guarantee everyone that didnt like Peter in school brags they were mates back in school now

I remember a kid being told by the teacher once - "Stop muttering." He replied, "I wasn't muttering, I was talking." Teacher, "Don't argue with me." Kid, "What's the matter - can't you tell the difference between talk and mutter?" And this was at the time of the Stork margerine advert where the line was, "You can't tell the diffference between Stork and butter."

You can watch these videos over and over again...He is still as hilarious as ever...Love Peter Kay!!!

Please come back Peter we all miss you so much. You are simply the best we all need to have a good laugh. Love you xxxx❤❤❤❤

"We had real teachers, too. Humans. They weren't all nuns". Brilliant.

He is my all time favourite comedian. No-one touches or comes even comes close to him. I watched this concert on DVD and this part of his show literally had me laughing so hard that I began to struggle with breathing. I had to leave the room and go into my garden to try and calm my breathing, but I kept thinking of the thick table and the laughing started again. It took me a good 20 minutes to gather myself and return to watch the remainder of the DVD. I can say without any doubt, that Peter Kay is thee best comedian to grace our screens and concert stadiums. The range of characters he has created and sitcoms are just pure magic.

"He took us on a geography field trip to the graveyard to see his wife." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Bolton Legend, National Treasure!

That teacher one was 👌🏻💯 Peter Kay is without a doubt the best stand up EVER he thinks of things in such a unique way

I went to a high school reunion years ago and I was the only one who turned up. What a blast...

I went to my 10 year school reunion in 2013, I wasn’t even going to go but a mate convinced me. Pete is absolutely right, there’s a reason I kept in touch with certain people and not others. If I didn’t like them in school when I had to see them I wasn’t going to like them 10 years later.

A total comic genius. LEGEND.

This guy is brilliant much love and respect from South Africa

Teachers with amnesia was so funny, “Who do you think you are?” “Who am i?” SILENCE WHEN YOUR TALKING TO ME! God i love this man, makes me proud to be a Boltoner.

This is all so relatable 😂😂😂😂 covering jotters with crappy wall paper or wrapping paper and the 1 liners teachers used to come out with 😂😂 classic 👌

It's not often I can't breath for laughing, but this was definitely one of those times. Absolutely bloody hilarious. Thank you Mr Kay.

Just a comedic genius. His observations are uncanny. Everything he says you can relate to.

Haha, he got those teachers good with that remark about not shouting out. Superb.

Peter’s gift of laughter has no end. His genius is amazing. Putting together an endless steam of experiences that we’ve mostly all done, and highlighting the right mental side of them, one after the other. 😎👍

Great, Peter Kay NEVER disappoints!!! "I love Teachers with Amnesia"! Every moment makes my sides hurt with laughing!! Needed this...great Medicine for the Soul...Thanks Mr Kay...Best Wishes from Germany!! 😁😁😁😁😁

Never a dull moment with our Peter.

I'm from Bolton and that school is definitely St Josephs, I went to the brother school run by monks... Who's bloody idea was that? 😂

The reason they made shatterproof rulers back in the Day was, the old wooden ones used to break all the time when Teachers hit you with them.

This guy is brilliant! I wish Netflix would put reruns of his sitcoms on here in America. Peter is by far the best comedian I have ever heard. I'm so sick of the so called comedians in the states that only know how to insult our President, and pure filth coming from their mouths. Peter is just funny, he is a gifted comedian. The UK is so lucky to have him!

I was in primary school in the 90s and I swear we had loads of this same stuff!! Reminding me of so much stuff I forgot haha

Absolute genius. Seen this so many times I can repeat it word for word. So good!

I liked teachers with amnesia "who do you think you are?" Just a legend - love him!

OH GOD THE SPARE KIT BOX!!! smelled like decades worth of sweat 😆

One of Britains best.

Wish he would come back!

No matter how many times I watch he still makes me smile 💗😁

We were playing army round the headstones 😂😂😂

I'm sooooooooooo looking forward to Peter kays next stand up comedy tour.

When you bump in to someone from school, who didn't give you the time of day back then, but now they try and talk to you like you were best mates. And your like, do you even remember school?

“SILENCE when your talking to me!” 😂😂😂

Oh come back Peter, we miss you. I've never laughed so much - you're the best xx

OMG. Tears of joy. Haven't laughed outloud in months! I ♥️ PK

This brought back many memories of my school days

Someone's throwing up sawdust over here 😂😂😂

You are one of the few comediens who dont make prejudice jokes and are truly comical. please come back. x

I've watched these a thousand times....and I'm still dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I'm a teacher ,"don't shout out, put your hands up" Brilliant.

School reunions…. Another brilliant show

Putting your coat on, really discreetly, is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Thank you Peter Kay. Kx

Jason Patel! LMFAO

Best comedian ever love ya Mr Kay ❤

No matter how many times you watch these videos I still laugh 😂

All the great comics know how to work an audience - great to see it done so well.

Sister Matic is another underrated gag

Just love him and have missed him, as a teacher he doesn’t tell jokes he tells it how it is 😂😂😂😂😂😂🇬🇧

Beaker/ cordial , I love those words. Peter Kay's the best😂

A very funny man who started building his act from about 6 years of age

Holy goat of a motherless cow i would sure like to see him on swedish soil!! UK comidians are the best there is . Ever since i saw " The hunt for the holy grail " as a youngster i have been a huge fan of UK sense of humour and it has never gone away, it get stronger the older i got and I am now in my late fourt-ish!

Great whenever you need a pick me up he is the medicine.Brilliant .

Oh aye back ya books woodchip 😂

lol yeh I always wanted to be first one out, can remember putting my pencils away now! Swimming was best, it finished early, I'd be out the door like a sunbeam through a shadow and straight home to my mum, I miss her so much!

The packing up ritual lol. I had that down to a fine art! Given all the phrases teachers use they must have gone to the same training college with the same lecturers!

I remember when the technology teacher wheeled in the big TV & went in the staff cubby hole in between two classrooms for a cuppa. He came back to find that someone had switched the channel & we'd been watching Rab C Nesbitt all lesson.

Comedy genius.

We need a back to back Lee Evans and Peter kay show

Nobody does it better, Peter

I always thought how lucky those kids were that were in the same class as Peter Kay because they must of all had a great time. This guys is definitely one of my favourite comedians I hope to see him on stage in the future.

When you think about it just about anybody could do this brand of comedy but this guy just mastered it before any of us?

He is so funny because every single thing he says we can relate too, have experienced ourselves, but cannot admit to.. he is our mouthpiece

“Bang , shatterproof”

Very clever and talented man

To call this hilarious would be an understatement! 😂😂😂

I actually have almost been ill 😂 laughing at this.

“Silence when you speak to me!” Spike Milligan

Peter Kay there reminding people of things they’d previously known but forgotten they were aware of anymore

One of my all-time favourites honestly, please come back to tv soon!

As soon as he goes on the chair as he stands up"How did I f****** get up here"🤣🤣

Our maths master used to say, "Be quiet and LISTEN! I don't know... Every time I open my mouth, some damn fool speaks." He knew we knew he knew what he was on about, so nobody got killed.

legend allways in tears of laughter seeing peter kay

This is the one I’ve been looking for! Brilliant!

I can literally relate to everything he says 🤣🤣

These are fantastic memories, Peter.

5:42 to 5:49 has me in stitches every time. Hilarious 😂

Pure comedy gold.

*Ooh 10+ minut video, spoiling us Peter*

😂😂😂😭😭😭 wish I'd been in his school...

I don’t want to see you floating round school 😂

Even though I went to high school over here in Northern Ireland I recognise the same situations happening in our school in the 80s.HILARIOUS🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂

“Jason Patel like tha🥴”

Siamese cats reunion 😂😂

The shatter proof rulers bit got me 😂😂😂😂😂

I've been out of school for 35 years and I've never been to any of my class reunions. High school was like being in prison and I don't have any desire to see those people. I fucking hated them.

I just love this man! 🤣