How do you experience Real Event OCD? 👍🏻

My real event OCD comes with a lot of shame, almost like my brain is looking for reasons to make me feel bad. It also overlaps with other themes. Sometimes it feels so real that it's difficult to believe it's OCD..

My brain always goes "yeh but THIS TIME it's real, THIS time you NEED to be thinking about it"

the really frustrating thing about confession compulsions is that no matter how many people tell me that what happened isn't a big deal, the ocd tells me they're biased or I'm not telling them enough or they must just be wrong there's no way to satisfy it, but it still feels like it's eating me alive

As somebody who suffered for years I found my salvation in a simple response of “I don’t know” I was bombarded by multiple memories and thousands upon thousands of relentless questions until they just went away. I offered nothing more than “I don’t know” No matter how impossible it felt to move on, no matter how terrifying it was, no matter the guilt, no matter the shame, no matter how desperate it felt. The thoughts went away. I honestly hope my experience can help someone to move on with their life. But ultimately “I don’t know” 😄

I feel like searching for these videos is a compulsion 😂

Reviewing the Tips: 1. Use your obsessions to understand yourself 2. Make a list of what gets neglected in your life because of compulsions 3. "If I let these thoughts and emotions determine what I do in the next few minutes or an hour, will it get me closer to the person I want to be or will it move me even futher away" 4. Put a visible reminder somewhere that it's OCD is the issue. Not the past event 5. Practice self-compassion 6. Do not try to get rid of your thoughts and emotions 7. Ban rumination 8. Be willing to live with the fact that your scary thoughts may be right 9. Seek treatment 10. Make sure that your therapist specializes in OCD and practice ERP

I have done things in my past that are bad. My OCD uses this to reassure I'm a bad person. The guilt of the past and the fear of intrusive thoughts can be overwhelming at times where I cant breathe or be comfortable. I cant help ruminating as I need to KNOW I'm not a bad person. This video helps and the comments do as well. Does anyone else feel this way, extreme guilt and fear of uncertainty? Thanks for the videos, you're calm demeanor and understanding give me hope

It's like my ocd is trying to prove by bringing up these memories and thought is that I am a bad person

“ Train your brain 🧠 to move forward” 👏👏

As much as I know I have OCD, the things I have done in the past aren't small. I believe I deserve to be punished for them, even if it's just beating myself up mentally about it. I don't want to be oblivious to what I've done and blame it on OCD.

My brain recycles different experiences on a weekly basis. It tells me that I’m horrible and that I’m going to end up being a felon or serial killer because I’ve done some stupid things as a teenager. I have a week without any symptoms then it crashes over me like large wave and then I go back to 24/7 rumination about the experiences. This is getting rough

Remember you are not an exception. You are trying your best like most other humans on this earth. It's not like you're uniquely evil. Other people don't talk about these things because they can be shameful and they don't have an obligation to bring it up or dwell on it. Please seek ERP therapy and get your life back on track. That is what I am doing. I know it feels so threatening, but you can do it.

I really suffer with this one. I suddenly remember things I did or thought or felt months or years ago and feel just crushed by it until I'm disconnected from reality and I just can't believe I could have not only done the thing but not realized how bad it was until now.

This has been a really tough thing for me for the past three weeks. I am currently obsessing over some pretty bad stuff i did as 12 year old without noticing it by then. It also overlapses with my moral scrupulosity OCD and my POCD, especially this one. It makes me feel like I'm worthless and a bad person and like i don't deserve a good and fulfilling future. It stands in the way of healing myself and connecting with people and simply living in the present. Thoughts like "I am a horrible monster and everyone around me is normal and can enjoy a deserved happy life and I don't" are daily basis. I also suffer from extreme disconnection from reality, my friends, my family and mostly myself. I look in the mirror and don't know who i am anymore and i feel no empathy for my reflection. It causes s*icidual thoughts even tho i actually love life and don't want to d*e. What i did doesn't align with my values at all and the most terrible thing is that i am incapable of forgiving myself or showing myself compassion. I just want to be normal and i want to do school and love myself but i feel so undeserving of love

I envision "the mists of time." We want to erase it. But we can't change the past. So instead, we can leave it in the past. Allow your brain to forget it even happened. Envision the mists of time, and allow them to have that moment, instead of you. It's not who you are. It was just a stumble. Stand up now, in the present moment.

And when it's mixed up with false memory and saying that I had bad intentions which I literally like never thought about It's so painful and the anxiety is so extreme that I cant do anything about it even though deep down I know it's not real I can't do anything but cry

This made me realize I value kids and being nice to others. I have POCD and when I get scared of the thoughts, I want to protect them from the threat, I'm the type of guy if he sees a child in danger of a pedo, I want to save the child, protect it. I fear being like a pedo due to my sexual abuse when I was 13 by a classmate, he was older than I and had took advantage of me by calling it a game. - and being nice to others, I can't stand to hurt someone's feelings, when I hurt someone, I start OCDing about it. This video helped a lot!!

Yeah. Until this month (this week really) I thought it was not only normal but *necessary* to be haunted by things that you’ve done and disapprove of. Even things from years ago that were done as kids and mostly inconsequential, I’ve always seen it as an “educational opportunity“ to be a better person and understand the consequences that your actions have on those around you. I’ve only ever wanted to be the best me I can be, and in the process I really hurt myself. I only ever wanted to subsume the burden I felt I had unintentionally put on other people and instead took on the responsibility of a guilt that is *not real* Just as anybody is allowed to make mistakes and move on, your past self was allowed to make mistakes and move on. Your current self is allowed to make mistakes and move on, as is your future self.

Every time I think about anything, my brain connects it back. I can't sleep, I can't even sit blanky without thinking about it. Thanks for this. It's helping a bit.

Thanks Nathan! Knowing that I might be struggling with this will allow me to look at these methods to deal with my issues instead of just continuing to allow myself to overthink the event. I guess that's a step in the right direction!

I’ve been having real event ocd from impulses that I’ve done this year and it’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had. My main ocd theme is self harm thoughts, but now it’s mainly focused on real events in which I feel like I’m going to get in trouble from. I have to reassure myself that nothing bad happened from my ocd impulses and that I’m not in trouble, but my brain won’t let me move on.

Love your approach. So cool, so eye-opening.

This actually helped more than most of the therapy I've recieved

Oh my am I grateful for your video. I’ve been struggling a lot for the past two weeks specifically with what I think is real event OCD, everything you’ve said is me to a T, it gives me hope to know I’m not the only one and thank you so much for the advice.

You’re an angel 🙏 this video helped me so much

Im 35 years old and am finally learning that i have this. It never felt like a big part of my life and i always thought it was just anxiety that came and went. This video helped me tremendously to learn what im actually dealing with and what kind of treatment to look for. Thank you.

Your videos are superb, Nathan. Very thoughtful and considerate and full of insights that are rarely available elsewhere delivered in a calm, straightforward way. Thanks so much for all you do.

I’m glad you made this video, because I genuinely didn’t know this was a thing and incorrectly assumed it was just me experiencing flashbacks from my PTSD. The lens of OCD makes a LOT more sense when applied to my experiences.

i just wanna say thank u for improving my life, i didn’t seek professional help yet bec i’m afraid to tell my parents, but watching ur videos makes me feel relieved and assures me that i’m not alone, i’m not a bad person, and that most of the stuff i’m going through is mostly mental. thank u so much

You are a lifesaver! Thank you sir 🙏

Your videos are helping me a lot. In my early 20s, while struggling with alcohol, I did a lot of stupid things. Around seven whole years later, even longer for some of these things, I am now two years sober but these memories are popping into my head consistently and causing loads of shame. It drives me to believe I will experience consequences in the future and that I should not pursue a music career that could possibly make me famous or something. I am now having other strange anxiety related attacks and panic attacks centered on some of these memories, occasionally leading to borderline blackouts though. I think I need to start making the push for uncertainty.

Very helpful video. Thank you so much!

Hi, I have watched so many of your youtube videos. I have to say after I watched them, I reduced my sking picking tremendously. But after that week, my reason for stopping the skin picking was not for me, it was for other people mostly, so that’s why I started doing it again and I was attacking my sking more than before. But the after I watched this video and started to take care of me first, I stopped the sking picking for me, first time in my life, the reason for stopping was actually me this time...and it’s working. I am now expozing myself to my sking and not touching it, to show my OCD, I am in charge, I can actually be in control of my behavior. I am so happy for me. Thank you!

I genuinely love you man. I don't know if you understand how much you actually help people. Thank you so much

What an amazing guy! Thank you for what you're doing. I'm sharing your videos with others who need this resource. 😊

While watching this my mind kept screaming: “why are you watching this? You don’t have ocd. What you did was bad and now it’s your time to pay, stop looking for a way around it.” It’s hard not to listen when the voice is so loud…

You exude kindness and I feel safe listening to you. Thank you for helping me find the strength to seek support for my real event ocd

Thank you for all of the information!

I love the way you present your material - best therapy!!

Thank you for this. I've always had ocd, but my third trimester of pregnancy (my 1st pregnancy) has dramatically amplified my ocd and I feel guilty for every thought/feeling I've ever had. And I have the compulsion to constantly confess. I've learned to stop that though, because I'm driving my poor husband insane. I feel more "normal" now after seeing your video. Thank you for shedding some light on this condition for me

I’m so grateful for your videos…I’ve never met you but you have helped me immensely just understand how my brain works and realize all the things that seem so real, so big in my head are actually normal for people with OCD minds. I keep making myself wrong when certain methods don’t work or I buy into certain thoughts, like people get frustrated I don’t let them go based on logic, but it’s just the way my brain works! Thank you so much for these videos! EDIT: I have a few things that were real event OCD but until this video I just thought they were actually unsolved things I needed to deal with-but really loud in my head and taking me out of the moment. This is the first time I’ve heard of Real Event OCD and it really helps me realize what was going on! Again, thank you!

You are such a generous soul to share this with us asking nothing in return, thank you

I think that the worst part about having real event ocd is the need to confess all the time.Personally i wanted all the time to confess my thoughts because i felt i was gonna explode or sth.Then i regretted the fact that i was oversharing to persons..i was afraid that my darkest thoughts were gonna be known to everyone(more anxiety),but i was responsible to this because I WAS OVERSHARING TO EVERYONE. my ocd stopped about 10 months after by its own,when it was too late.I cant believe i left those meaningfull thoughts destroy my life and my mind.I swear to god they were really silly thoughts.But i couldnt control my guilt and shame.I do better now,but i cant forgive myself i left those thoughts to have a big impact to my life...

I just found out that I likely suffer from this, and so far your videos have helped a lot.

Hi, I just want to say thank you for making this video for helping people with real event OCD. This helps me heaps. Really appreciate what you have explained.

This OCD subtype is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you Nate, truly

The guy with the most authentic solutions ❤️

Thank you so much for another video!

I have POCD since a couple months ago I remembered a deed that i've done almost 7 years ago... No, don't worry, i did not harm anyone, I don't have any desire to kids, but my mind tries to prove the controversary with every of it's power. It's just feels so real i cannot make a difference between reality and those feelings that I felt that time. I was a stupid youngster at the time. Still, now, when I want a family, I just stasrted to imagine how I want to raise my children and oops, those memories just hit me suddenly from nowhere and tries to prove me I have sick urges... This is so terrible szometimes I just cannot tell you. I cried since many times, thinking I'm a horrible person, who can never have a family. Even if I know it's OCD, I cannot make a peace with my mind. However, you videos helps a lot, thank you.

My mistakes are actually big not that small

It makes me so scared, and makes me feel so alone. I cried twice in your video. For almost 33 years now i have had a horrible always-evolving form of OCD.

Thank you so much for this. Thank you thank you

Thank you so much for this video I've been struggling with this and I didn't know that this is called real event ocd and i was thinking I've gone mad and i didn't know what to do and because this was getting worst i was having intrusive thoughts as well and it's really difficult to deal with it but your video makes it easy and get to know that I'm not the only one who is suffering from this

As bad as it sounds I keep saying I wish I had another theme, another form of mental health. I've done multiple bad things especially in my teens. I keep relating childhood trauma as the answer, or what if I really am just evil, what if this what if that etc. Researching, reassurance. I wouldn't dream of doing what I've done now. I've spent the past couple years doing compulsions trying to hide the thoughts, occasionally crumbling and having periods of time in bed, no energy, body in agony for weeks on end. No matter what I do it relates to the past and the situations that have happened. I keep thinking that if I beat OCD it'll go away... But if I lose the guilt then I'm agreeing. I try to say things like "it happened who cares" "I don't care" I've only just started this approach, it'll take time for it to have an effect... Spending the past 10 years thinking the opposite is a hard habit to break.

These videos help immensely.

Thank you very much sir for this video!

I particualrly appreciate your point on traditional cbt therapy. Ive not found it to be the most helpful and coudln’t figure out why. Tying into real event ocd, I DID have an extremely bad therapist who didn’t understand me when I said that I’m aware and have tried using regular CBT for years with little success. This really helps put that in perspective , and simply using a different approach is much more likely to help, overall. Thank you for all the work you do!!

Thank you so much. Think I am going to do your course.

Types of OCD's I have: • SELF HARM OCD - fear of me being a masochist which causes me to feel turned on when in pain, also known as groinal response. • LESBIAN OCD - I am scared of being a lesbian, sometimes my brain tells me that I am in love with my same sex friend. I also worry that I am a transgender and that I am a Male in denial of not being transgender. • RELATIONSHIP OCD - my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I suddenly turned into a lesbian somehow. OR my brain tells me that I am not in love with my special person because I feel calm around my favorite person.

Amazing, subscribed!

Thank you for these videos

I don't have many breakthroughs, but this one is a contender. I hadn't heard of Real Event OCD. I know I have OCD and Bi Polar. Good presentation.

Hi, I suffer from this too. How do I deal with triggers, meaning whenever I do something that makes me feel happy or satisfied; a voice inside me tells me that "Wait you dont deserve this! Start feeling bad right now!" Can I ever stop those thoughts from being triggered? Also thank you for making this video!

I feel like i can finally let years if guilt go. I have wasted a lot of time. Thank you

I've always felt like my brain is searching for a shitty thing I did like a phone trying to connect to a wifi signal. Then I confess, feel better for maybe 30 minutes and then my brain connects to a new past event.

One thing I noticed is that Real Event Ocd makes me feel extremely awful and terrible about these events but when I actually look at the events, it aint really something that serious. Its like my ocd has put an extreme tide of anxiety and guilt that's not really compatible with the real events themselves

My OCD is all about guilt of my past. Once I cheated my friend(at very minor level) and she doesn't know about it.I don't want to make her angry and don't wanna talk to her but My stupid OCD really pins me down everyday about guilt and forced me to do apologize to her and Hurt yourself by losing your favorite things to make her happy(I know it's really non sense but my OCD force me to think like that)

Hi Nathan, can you please make a video on intrusive thoughts about your parents or any of your loved ones dying?

i sure do! i struggle to be in the moment and i feel a lot of shame. i meditate a lot and I'm in ACT therapy. thanks for the video!

Sir,you are a lifesaver

Thank you so much ❤

this is Life Saving

My theme rn is especially awful... I remembered something I did or thought/ imagined a while ago. The thing is I can’t put it in the past because it might mean some about me right now. This is awful. There is so much more to it also... man puberty was rough.

Yes! I'm suffering from real life OCD for more then 2 years.

So helpful thank you

I'm so so glad I found this video. All my life I've struggled with different types of OCD but Real Event OCD is by far the worst. Until I researched this and found out it was a real thing, I genuinely thought I was going crazy. Like there was something inherently wrong with my brain which, I guess, there is. But hearing your solutions and seeing that other people experience the same thing has already helped me so much. Thank you for making these videos. I finally feel validated, instead of bottling up my anxieties or simply being told 'just don't worry!' You're a godsend, and I thank you.

How do you treat real-event OCD when you have so many different types of real events and false memories that pop up? I am starting the process for ERP and would love any advice! Thank you. 😊

I was diagnosed with ocd (body dysmorphia) when I was 19. However, I had a fairly clean slate as far as my life was concerned. It took me medication and 7 years of hard work to accept myself fully. Then, I messed up by getting into a wrong relationship and I felt terrible and confessed to my mother. Even though I had met the person only 5-6 times in total. The guilt was so bad. I felt I deserved punishment. Well. I did get my punishment (or atleast I thought so). I developed a medical problem. So it gave me temporary relief that maybe I had paid for my irresponsibility . Then I had an accident and was convinced that I was being further hurt because I was a bad person. All this while, the other person was absolutely fine. But my guilt was really bad. After the accident, I got terrible panic attacks and the pandemic came into the picture. Also, it's important to mention that whenever I liked someone and wanted to get married, the feelings were either not reciprocated, or the person would first pursue me and eventually cheat on me. Today I'm 31, and I feel so terrible. Like I wasted my time on useless people who did not even care. I was so confident and outgoing. But after the accident I retreated into a shell. Despite so much happening, along with my terrible panic attacks, I still feel guilty of events that have happened between 2-8 years back because I did not have wisdom and believed people easily. I feel like I have been a bad person. I wouldn't tell my mother much about my friends earlier because I felt I am an adult and throughout childhood I had been hit by her, so I feared her intensely and that aspect crawled into adulthood even when she earnestly tried to become my friend . In a way of rebellion I just mostly kept things to myself. My mother believes in me today too, and tells me that things will be better. She is without doubt my biggest support. But I've had such a hard journey that I'm usually always curled up in bed. Hoping I've not hurt anyone, hoping that my guilt would go. Trying to stop the self blame. Wondering why I did not listen to my mother earlier. Images from the past flashing in my head. Mostly of people behaving badly with me and then leaving me to cry. I don't know if I deserve punishment for this. But im definitely going through it. I have taken up nichiren Buddhism and made some genuine new friends who are there to support. But my question to my fellow viewers is.. Does this sound like real event ocd? Or just something I am experiencing because of my bad life choices? Its important to note though, that I am a person who takes care of not stepping even on an ant and have taken care of multiple animals through the last ten years, even in my periods of anxiety. So is my guilt and self blame warranted? I never seem to Remember the numerous good acts that I have done. Including buying food for street kids, helping my house help with materials for her children, and trying to be the best that I can in general. I have never stolen money or anything from anyone too. I never smoked, never took drugs, and barely drank. Giving so many details so that I can understand if so much anxiety is warranted in my life. Thank you. Hoping for a good assessment that I can give to my doctor.

Ahhh yes 😢 its taken so much of my life

Like what you said that confession can become a compulsion.

This has always been my biggest struggle, i just seemed to get over my last bout but ocd is throwing a new thought and morphing a situation that I know what actually happened. Any tips to kinda move past that? I assume it would be the same as the last just kinda sucks to have my brain do this lol

Sometimes, when I get across someone or something and the mind sort of gets triggered, there is like a war that goes on in the mind. I can't decide what to feel, Am I scared, attracted or whatever? And when the trigger goes away, I'm like why did all this happen. Why was I scared? There is no point of being scared. But I realize that the mind just fears something and it's all an illusion created by the mind due to some past experience it has gone through. And nothing outside triggers it, but the mind itself.

Is it normal in ocd to feel that you don’t know what’s true and what’s not true about you or a situation or anything really mostly unsure about yourself? I get this all the time

I really appreciate these videos man. But what if you did something really bad, that you fit the definition of the person that does those things, but you feel and know that you're not like them? The uncertainty is filling me with a lot of stress and suffering.

Thanks you save our lives

So grateful that the OCD community has you 🥺🤍

It is exhausting. I just want it to stop.

I’ve been struggling with this lately, completely forgot to wear a mask while i was walking behind my house, if think it wasn’t even mandatory because it isn’t a crowded place but i felt so bad when i crossed people who weren’t wearing masks either, now i can’t do anything but thinking about it and appliying a crazy amount of pressure on my eye to punish myself, i keep picturing myself telling people that i forgot my mask and them telling me how big of a mistake it was

Sometimes it might come off as if I don't question myself, I'm one of those people who don't question themselves and move on without accountability. But trust me true accountability doesn't hinder one's growth.

Thank you 🙏

Hi, I would say I’m doing recovery from OCD and Telling myself it doesn’t matter, but sometimes I can’t just Not think about it or try to fix it, because they involve real life things and is reality based, and sometimes I worry about like if my OCD starts Accepting My intrusive thoughts as Fact, because it actually happened, and my dumb brain starts making “accept” this new “life”? Cause my brain is weird af like that, it works hardest to just try to make me feel better, and I think it tries to make me feel better by accepting this cognitively.

what if this thing can affect us in the future if we ignore it?

I have Real Event OCD which links in with other subsets, and it's terrible.

But what I can do if I know that I did bad mistake in the past or even hurt people who care about me I feel so guilty and bad I can't just forgive myself and I feel like I don't deserve anything good just like you said in the video... Anyway I really appreciate you and this channel, I don't know if it's a compulsion but when it's getting too hard to handle on my own like right now, watching your video makes me feel a little bit better and calm maybe a compulsion I know but just an hour ago I was in a panic attack mood feeling like I can't breathe feeling on the edge totally out of control like I was going crazy and scary things I feel suic**al.. And then I take my phone just to try to focus on something else, found this video because I'm subscribed to this channel and start watching, not only what you saying but also how you are saying, like the way you talk.. Makes me feel better like I'm not alone in this, so thank you.. And I'm sorry if this was a long comment and maybe it's not correct because I'm Italian so my English is not good. Anyway I wish you and everyone who is reading this a good night and remember you are not alone, stay strong ❤️

I get told that it never happened or I remember it wrong, oh well it's to late now. So I just stopped telling them anything now I just sit and silently cry having so many thoughts in my head screaming at the same time

Thank You very much :)

ThNks

I have a very important question, what positive affirmations are okay too use? Like is it okay too tell myself that im going too be okay? And that I'm strong? Things like that?

When I first started puberty, like it’s peak, I did some regretful sexual things as a teen that are HAUNTING me, it’s as if I gave into some urges, then immediately regretted it. I never did any of those things again as I know they go against my character and morals. I’m obsessing and obsessing about the past.