Here from TikTok as well

Right!!! Because I came from Tiktok too🤚🏽. Wishing you healing and love wherever you are♥️

Same

wow i’m from youtube recs

Omg same here, i came here because tiktok

Absolutely!! Thank you.

Malignant shame is problem.

Are all those pornstars on the internet innocent, then?

Not if you sleep with your friends husband, and blame it on the alcohol. The shame only lasts until the next drink, the next downfall. And yet they keep drinking and never change. This "self-compassion" only works if there is change. If not, it can be used as an excuse to minimize the chaos you have caused.

@@zurc_bot "as an excuse to minimize the chaos you have caused" Narcissists and borderlines and psychopaths who do not have awareness about the damage they do by sleeping with friends' husbands - do not waste their times watching videos like this one. They don't spend time learning psychology and concepts such as self-compassion. Instead - their time is filled with sleeping with other people's husbands as primary focus in their lives, of chaos and drama.

❤

No one left to give love🌹Only Jesus

@@maritrnning5357Jesus is dead. Sick of all these Jesus billboards, Where’s he for Gaza and Ukraine? Your Jesus isn’t ever coming back for ANYONE

Beautiful and so liberating!!! ❤

​@@maritrnning5357please stop this religion nonsense, it is this why people don't have compassion for others

That is exactly how I got here too! Divine Intervention!

im here too the exercise at the end had me bawling

She has a youtube channel! It's Ozley ASMR. She posts a lot of videos that help with anxiety :) Been watching her for years.

26 April

Agreed! For me it’s also a result of self rejection which is tied to shame. It really helps to practice self acceptance and watch out for those self judging thoughts.

I think you are right on the money

shame is fear of a past experience or emotional response to a past memory. Resulting in wanting to hide. Anxiety is also fear of an experience or emotional response that has or has not happened. both can come from the other. Fear of experiencing the shame around anxiety. or the anxiety around experiencing shame.

I’ve struggled with social anxiety my whole life. I didn’t realize shame was the issue until recently.

@@ceeeceee8753rejection from our family in early years (even if very subtle) usually underlies all of it. As children, we internalize everything and think it is our fault, is that there is something wrong with us if our parents don’t love us, see us, or understand us, in the ways that we need. It’s just a survival issue. But it feeds into all of these Sometimes devastating problems in our adulthood if we don’t recognize it and heal!

Bless you friend. This is deep work. Layer by layer, truth by truth. Innocense is our name.

It all just finally clicks.

Me too

" had social anxiety or low self-esteem but only recently have I discovered that I've been living for decades in constant shame, it sabotaged my friendships, made me isolated and lead me to hurt others" Yes. When I talk about toxic shame in social anxiety videos - people cannot grasp it due to veil over their face and filter like confirmation bias and anchoring bias. Socially anxious are brainwashed in childhood (ACoA and ACE) and toxic families and toxic ambient to self blame. And information that there is internalized malignant shame that stems from abuse - is the same information as if conspiracy theories and cognitive dissonance is preventing malignant ashamed people to realize that they are dealing with malignant shame. Same as fish in the water - that is unable to realize that it is water all around, not air nor space - since fish is not clever enough to develop walking genes or brain to develop space rocket and to leave aquamarine ambient or brain to become self aware. - These are all interchangeable: RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) = Social anxiety = Emotional Dysregulation = Complex Trauma = Toxic shame = After-effects of ACoA & ACE = After-effects of narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse = Hypervigilance/hypovigilance = PureOCD = Unfavorable power dynamics = Trauma response = Trauma bonding = Neurodivergence = Spectrum, not binary thinking = Amygdala hijacking = Trauma triggers and flashbacks = being criticized for something you can't control = having high moral and ethical standards and enforcing them = someone random complains about our errors when we done superhuman efforts to avoid ALL mistakes which 98.5% percent of people never invest neither physically nor mentally = toxic person complaining and expecting us to know something for the first time without mistakes = Perfectionism = Protesting: someone toxic complaining without fair assessment and basing their protest on bias and prejudice and oversimplification = Protesting: trauma panic symptoms related in an attempt to express OUR OWN judgement and negative evaluation and holding criminals narcissists accountable for their crimes and hidden selfish agenda of exploiting others = Not conforming = Conforming (fawning) to unreasonable standards and neurotypical norms = Conforming to narcissistic abuser and psychopath who would punish us if we don't conform to their Coercive control, hidden agenda and manipulation and pathological lying = Being authentic true speaking the truth to fake people and toxic people who have hidden covert agenda to exploit others = being Agreeable (Big 5 personality trait) = being Open (Big 5 personality trait) = Being Neurotic (Big 5 personality trait) = being healthy, friendly and open to life and people = Attachment issues = Codependency = Listening to our gut feeling = Quiet BPD (PureBPD) = BPD Splitting = Inner critic = Imposter syndrome = Being exposed to Operant Conditioning of Negative reinforcement (rejection, cold shoulder) = Being exposed to Negative reinforcement Breadcrumbs hoping positive reinforcement will come instead = doing the best we can to avoid and mitigate negative reinforcement = Avoidance = Victim of false accusation and slander (overt or covert) = overcompensation and masking and making trauma and or abuse to be functional = being wounded and reacting to someone future faking our voids being fulfilled to hook us up to their lies = Self-referential thinking = identity being rooted in "I am not enough" instead of "I am enough" "People expect the quiet one to adapt to the loud people but not the other way around"

Today is the day I made this connection.

Sending you virtual hugs🤗

Same with me

Try EMDR

Same here! Thanks for posting. Forty years ago, it was difficult to find even a book about shame. Love Germer's work.

@@claudiademaldonado6824 I had EMDR and it was hard but ammmmmmazing! I love it and it helped me on many levels. Glad you did it too.

Yes!!!, 😊😊🎉🎉

Do you guys know others self-soothing phrases? 🥺

@@atypicalmatias “My anxiety is very normal human emotion. And I accept it.”

I was just doing this meditation today. Thanks to Sharon Salzburg for sharing it on UKposts! That’s how I found it.

You guys will be blown away by Russ Harris in ACT.

💛

Reading the comments first; they do not disappoint

Yes I certainly agree. Brings the abstract into practicality.

Glad to hear it man🎉

❤

That's how I am with Near Death Experiences on UKposts. They've saved my life.

Saved my life. Shame could have ended me

your welcome kid

You got that right!❤

Your loved. 😊

❤❤❤

Wishing you lots of love and healing to keep going. I know how much anxiety can then become shame within. And that feeling of being alone is so very painful. Just hold on to how many of us are out there. You are worthy of kindness, warmth and recovery . Keep holding on

I hope you have someone to hold space for you. ♥️ You are worthy of love and compassion. It’s a battle to undo the programming but it CAN be undone. Keep fighting for yourself-you’re worth it. 😊

Wishing you lots of compassion and love. You are enough. You are worthy.

You can do that now you don't need " one day"

I’m so glad this video helped. I have also struggled with shame. If you’re ever feeling like you can’t go on, 988 is the number to the National suicide and crisis lifeline. Hopefully you can connect with someone. I’m happy you exist ❤

Bless you

I’ve always isolated myself when going through tough times. He’s right, it’s lonely and debilitating. I listen to videos like this in an attempt to claw myself out of this inner turmoil and darkness. And seeing comments like yours reassures me that I’m going to be ok. Thank you. ❤

Yes!, thank you !! 😃😮😮😊❤

i respect him for what he put out for free - you gotta pay dollars to learn it outside!

If you don’t know where this quote came from, you really need to find out

Dont make things that sound good to you out of your pockets have any credibility. No leave this marrtive that humility is good nonsense and stay in your pubble

The second part of this quote is powerful when one realizes that true humility is the understanding that each and every person is simultaneously equal and invaluable. If one is unable to connect with their inherent worth, then the humility they display is merely an act to appear humble... as a way of hopefully receiving love and acceptance from others. True humility can only arise from true self-worth (seeing through the illusion of unworthiness). Pride is not a cause, but a symptom of our unmet emotional needs - this is where religious philosophy gets it backwards. Healing our emotional wounds and traumas is how we address the root cause of "sinful" behavior.

Airbender

Good work, I’m pulling for you

@@Adrian-yv1tethank you.

lets fucking go man. real shit. 200 lbs in a year is insane and recovering from the imposter syndrome is the real unseen gain. pulling for you too.

@@twinshk2 I am happy as hell. Going through exposure therapy is the real life saver. Everything is easier. I didn’t even know living with all of this undiagnosed had me on edge constantly.

Check out Tim Fletcher if you are interested in further insights on this topic :)

I’m so sorry, wishing you healing and self love ♥️

@@Ninafvn thank you so much 🤍

I hope you feel better ❤. God is with you always 😊

@@sekinatabdulsalam3554 thank you so much 🤍

I’m so sorry. Praying for you. Your mom is with you always. ❤️

amen

totally can relate to this

@@luna_rkive me too

Thank u ❤

Great notes! Thank you!

👏👏👏

I can relate to everything you just said. Thank you for sharing.

What did the idiot doc do? Cute dog, yours?

I am sending you love

Stay strong, it can, and will get better

You’re so right. And the worst part is on some level we may feel responsible for everything and everyone because we carry the shame for the shameless ones too. We spend so much energy trying to make sense of the senseless…and grieving the lack of real justice, grieving the lack of caring in systems we cannot avoid. We need to do daily the opposite of all this non sense. We need to be extra caring towards ourselves and others and look for ways to find commonality and connection in these fragile times. ❤

I remember celebrating my nephews birthday my brother hit the mark looked at me and straight up said, "Are you a flogging nun or something? Why not be kind to yourself and my response was cause it hurts less. Also I am a nursing school dropout

It's never too late to start loving ourselves. Your tears were a good start my friend. It's a process, it's undoing years of negative conditioning and what I find most helpful is to talk to myself the way I would talk to a dear friend, like the gentleman in the video suggested at some point. Good luck on your journey.

All my life, I have received joy, happiness and satisfaction/gratification from "when things went well for others". So I became a "yes" man at an early age and cultivated and propagated that. Can you help me, can you do this, can you give me a few minutes of your time, can you work some overtime, DO YOU HAVE SOME MONEY? All of these and more were responded to IMMEDIATELY with a yes, getting to the point of almost snapping to attention and saluting, ha ha. I always felt I was doing the right thing, regardless of how it put me out... and it did put me out, a lot. I had boundary issues which remain to this day. I still can't tell people no, to a great extent. I need help and it is getting late innings, if you get my drift.

I certainly know what you have been experiencing..the "people pleasing" necessity and the sense of fear when they're not placated. "To thine Ownself be True." Wishing you Courage, my Friend.

I have similar experiences regarding not being loved. I now work on being good to myself. It feels good. Good luck to you.

Me too

Me three

Me four

Out of respect for your non-christian viewers, you might refrain from ''Adam and Eve' references. Thank you.

@@elizabethk3238 I have made no 'Adam & Eve' references and I don't recall him doing so and if he did it would be symbolic wouldn't it

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and your optimism about this breakthrough for All of us. I've also been having some breakthroughs in allowing myself to feel love and support inside my body/self. I especially love your imagery of the doorway creaking open . . . and self compassion flooding in.

Sounds hard to lose a parent

You want to turn off your 'default mode network' - is like turning off your skill to ' walk' - we learned this toxic shame as toddlers - its in us forever- your stuck with a broken toddler - teach your inner child to laugh and be his/her best friend- thats how i turn it off

The shame episodes have ruined my life and continue to do so, how do I get better? Please give me advice

@@mikey3666 hey Mikey, I have been continuing to learn about my condition and I found that there is a concept of CPTSD to describe childhood trauma. I can say that after years of research this framework seems to be the most helpful. I strongly recommend you to read the book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Not only it gives you the clear concept of how the trauma works, it teaches you deep understanding of the mechanisms that trigger trauma driven behaviour. It is aimed to teach you to recognize and systematically fight off shame, tackle panic attacks and overall - really work on the root of the trauma response. I hope you will find it helpful!

Check out Jerry Wise. He has a video about accepting your not being ready to forgive yourself and the paradoxical effect it tends to have in helping you become more ready. Its on his You Tube channel under the title: "The Power of Self Acceptance".

This is literally exactly what I am going through right now as well. I hope you are feeling better.

I hope you are feeling better - one thing to remember - your thoughts are not you. Our thoughts are like out of control teenagers running around in our head. If you can acknowledge the thoughts as that at let them go it can help. Your thoughts are not you and controlling them totally isn’t possible - we can have them feel them and let them go every time. That’s a compassionate act on the self. Sometimes all the self help stuff makes us feel we should be able to control our thoughts - we can’t control them but acknowledge them for what they are

Thank you guy for your advices. I appreciate them.

I scared my shame away when i told it, as if it were a person separate from me, that itself is shameful, then it got scared and shut up because it knows i can shame it back. Sounds silly but it works sometimes.

How did it work for you ?

Keep practicing self-compassion (I'm trying too)! Feel for you, take care

Thank you

thank you so much for this!

I agree!!!

Were you some famous minister in church?

My older siblings bullied me into a state of feeling hated then said they would show me affection afterwards if I did embarrassing things , then laughed at me for doing them. I am still dealing with this core trauma wound into my 50's. You are not alone and I wish you peace and to know you have great value and are worthy.

@@milarepa1234567 You are also not alone, feel for you, take care