-Take action when feeling lonely -Change response to failures -Protect your self esteem -Battle negative thinking

"It makes us really afraid to reach out because why setup yourself for heartache and rejection when your heart is already aching more than you can stand" this really cuts me deep..

I appreciate how Ted Talks named this video "How to practice emotional aid" and not "How to practice emotional aid on yourself " Because we all came thinking how we could help others...and returned learning how we could help ourselves firt

This video is a perfect example of the good the internet can do. Imagine how many lives this man has touched with his words. How many lives he has saved. All thanks to the world wide web.

I really love how he addresses the issue of emotional health without shoving his expertise in psychology to the audience, while still able to get everyone to hear what he says thanks to his narrative-ish speech-which I must say is really easy to understand. We really need more humble professionals like him.

I clicked on this video for the purpose of helping my friends who have mental health problems but this guy made me realise that it was me who needed help. I really appreciate this video

Man. I always see the right random TedTalk at the right time :)

5:40 Loneliness 7:32 Pay attention to emotional pain 7:42 Failure (toy-activation example) 10:58 Stop emotional bleeding 11:46 Rejection (divorcee example) 13:34 Protect your self-esteem 13:45 Rumination 15:40 Battle negative thinking

He has such a calming, gentle voice. Makes you feel like everything will work out

Listening to the guy's voice, he could have a successful second career narrating kids' shows on the BBC.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ― Henry Ford

No doubt. You are a "REAL"Doctor. Your speech brought tears to my eyes. We tend to be so hard on ourselves. Thank you so much

"loneliness affects immune system" Me- *cough*

12:44 This is something I have never considered. He's so right that we would never make a physical injury worse. We would protect it and care for it so it can heal. Yet, we don't do that with emotional injuries. We often make them worse with negative thinking. What a revolutionary concept to treat our minds the same way we do our physical body. I only wish we were all taught how to do this. It makes me want to learn more about it.

I would watch this over and over again to remind myself about the harms of rumination. That I need to do something about this chronic anxiety and loneliness.

Loneliness being purely subjective was such an eye opening statement. I feel like often when someone says they’re lonely someone else will point out all the “tangible” ways that they aren’t. But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter, you can be in a see of people but if you don’t have the specific connection you NEED then you will be lonely and it’s not for anyone else to perceive but you. That’s so powerful

"Break a negative cycle before it begins" Damn. That hit too hard.

Best thing I got from this--- treat yourself like a good friend. That is amazing

I love how much love he has for his brother and how he shows it.

Hi Ted! I am a nurse. In my life I have to deal with many situations that mainly consists in loneliness and rejection even from my own family. It has been very sad that I barely had emotional support from my parents. This lack of happiness and a constant search for it corrupted by my surroundings has made me struggle all my life till today in my last semester for my Bachalor's. One thing that distinguishes me is that no matter what my situation is I will succeed. It has been extremely hard to deal with my father's and mother's divorce along with their rejection and cruelty to me. I know everything I just wrote is very personal but most people are scared of speaking about it, I am not because I know that the sun will rise again and I will be able to breathe and treat my patients with the love I never had. I am more than thankful for your studies, your effort and your determination to help people. Thank you!

I'm just 3 min in and already love this. "Just walk it off. It's all in your leg" XD

My sister sent me this because I've been struggling with depression for a couple of years and, to be honest, I really needed this. I really like the way he presents this issue, he seems so natural and passionate.

I found myself close to tears a few times. That tells me that I have some emotional hygiene issues to work on. I'd like to watch this again with my whole family. I hope it would stimulate a positive, healing conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and insights, Dr Winch.

This was posted 7 years ago and I am just now seeing it. ❤ Sharing with my adult children and friends.

It's so difficult being compassionate to yourself...

I teared when he he talked about how lonely he was when his brother "didn't" call

2:10 "Walk it off, it's just in your leg." 3:28 "My brother is also a psychologist, so he's not a real doctor either." 4:13 "We decided to splurge and we talked for 10 minutes." 10:03 "I said "In the front seat" but that made no sense to him whatsoever, so now he thought I was on drugs."

After recovering from a traumatic event i churned over and over why it ate into me, why it left me hollow. And i realised that it was less the event and more of how i had hacked away at my mind and soul by negative thoughts that i collapsed into a nobody. I lost my confidence, pride, compassion, desire to live ; all because of what i did to my lonely self within the four walls of my empty house. I hate to discuss my personal life but i know what it is like, so anyone feeling the same, please know what this guy has said is true. It is just a state of mind not the reality. You can change your reality by changing your state of mind. Bless you x

This was probably the best TED talk I've ever heard.

Wow. The story about rejection and calling the "friend"...🤯💯💯💯

I have never related to a WHOLE video about what I have been struggling to since the pandemic and this video made me feel safe and that I am valid wherein a lot of times I do not feel that way in my life. In the past month, I worked as an intern here in our place and I started it with a whole different and new environment in my home/neighborhood and even all of the people I worked with were all complete strangers to me. I never let my guard down in that short amount of time I've been an intern so that the people there won't really know who I am, that I am a very vulnerable person and also have depression and anxiety. I couldn't even believe myself that whole time there, I was the strong person that I wish I could be in everyday, but I guess I really just have episodes in my life. Getting better everyday!

When he talked about him waiting for his brothers call, I started to cry. I know that feeling so good...

One of the best Ted Talks I've ever watched

Loneliness, failure, rejection, rumination.. sounds like a checklist of my life.

A master in his field, making a difficult subject understandable and relatable.

We should watch this every day! Brilliant, obvious but desperately needed!

The reason he could talk with such conviction and also convince us is because he has been through it and shared the same honestly. Great Ted talk.! 👌✌️

1. We value physical health more than psychological health. If we had a broken leg, we would not say walk it off. But we do that with loneliness, failure, depression. 2. Take action when you're lonely. Loneliness makes us believe those around us care less than they actually do. It is based on your personal perception. Loneliness can be as harmful to your health as cigarette smoking. 3. Don't let your mind be tricked by failure Are you aware how your mind deals with failure? People believe their setbacks means they're no longer capable and do not reach their potential. Our minds are hard to change once it's made up. We have to fight to stop feeling the failure. 4. Be your own best friend and protect yourself against rejection. Rejection forces us to call ourselves names and damage our own self esteem. We wouldn't get a cut on our arm and dig at it and make it worse, but we do that with psychological. Instead, we need to protect our self esteem. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would treat others. 5. Constantly battle negative thinking. Rumination is when you agonize over the same idea over and over. Study shows even a two minute distraction is enough! Battle negative thinking constantly will foster positive thinking.

Come acrossed this vid by accident, coincidentally I was having a bad day. I never knew I needed this to lighten up the burden I'm feeling. Thank you so much!

Love the calm tone of his voice. Learing to control your thoughts is the greatest of all gifts. Excellent talk.

The clarity he projected with the concepts were spectacular. one of the best TED videos so far.

Rumination is horrible stuff indeed. I speak from experience.

I never beat myself up when I fail or get rejected I'm so grateful I never do the bad self talk THANK YOU MOM u teached me the strongest thing In the world 💙

I discovered this on accident. It was NOT an accident. I needed to hear this & God knew it. Such an amazing 17 minutes. Thank you so much! I am in one of the loneliest seasons of my life. I understand the importance of positive thinking. I didn't used to know how negative my thinking was. Even when my outward communication was positive, my inner monolog & self talk were negative. I'm trying feel so down, but I struggle. I look forward to listening to the Emotional First Aid video💗

We take our kids for physical vaccinations, dental exams, eye checkups. When do we think to take our - our son or daughter for a mental health checkup?

Having any mental/emotional problems is considered weak and embarrassing, which discourages psychological "routine check-ups", among other things. Plus, letting yourself be vulnerable with a complete stranger is terrifying.

This video made me that I wanna study psychology 4 years ago .... and now Im a college student of psychology in japan. When I get tired I come to here sometimes. Thank you so much doctor guy winch you makes my confidence always

Thank you for this video, I was feeling so down and you just gave me a different perspective to look at things. It's a great comparison to the physical wounds, because often times we are the ones that putting ourselves with deeper pain without realizing the actions.

Choosing to watch this video, despite the length, is probably the best thing I've done this week. How does this video not have more views? Everyone needs to watch this

what an incredibly powerful talk. Being your own best friend as an emotional band aid. I must remember that.

Sharing this today with my social work class! Thank you Guy Winch. I first watched this a few years ago, happy to revisit this!!!

This was a very good short easy listen. It has so much knowledge and information packed into it. It really hits the heart and makes me realize why I am the way I am sometimes

Throughout the video, why did I feel like I was having a one-on-one session with the speaker? 😅

Perfect voice for voice acting, voice overs, audio book, etc.

Your emotional to physical analogies are so easy to follow and relate to. Thanks so much for making this videos.

Love listening to the guy. He is so calm and can make people feel better with just his words.

Maybe try journaling everyday for ten minutes, talking to yourself or about yourself, positively and compassionately. I've heard that it's a good way to slowly change the way you think.

This is literally going to change how I live my life

Ruminating is what I’m doing right now. I can’t stop hearing all the negative stuff I heard in a recent disagreement with a loved one. It’s overwhelming and causing me anxiety. I keep thinking bad stuff about myself. I want to be better. This video is much needed and I’m on my way to getting better. Thank u.

holy crap.... he's absolutely RIGHT! I was on the verge of tears hearing him point out whats been the matter with me for the past 3years! I've been lonely, depressed, and have been nothing but negative to myself. But the moment he defined what loneliness is and does I knew b4 he started talking about how to change it. and my tears became of happiness. positmestic, hopeful, and encouraged! The encouragement that ive been searching for for years now. as simple as that, it was or is, like a slap in the face! how obvious! idk how long this joy of releif will last, however it doesn't matter anyway because I know now, what it is, and how to fix it. Thank you, thank you sooooo sooooooooo sooooooooooooooooo much! !!!

Thank you Guy, this video has given me confidence after so many years of feeling deep lonliness and listening to my insecurities. It caused me to hurt the people i care about the most and push them away as the pain i felt/still sometimes feel can consume my thoughts completely and tell me i'm all alone, even when people were trying to reach out to me. I'm going to take your advice and carry it with me every time i feel the doubts starting to set in. Never give up the fight for happiness in life to anyone reading this. Never give up on yourself.

WHY AM I CRYING, THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

I used to be the worst ruminator you could ever imagine. Especially during elementary school, I would spend the entire day stuck in my mind, regretting everything I've ever done and reliving the shame. As I got older, I started to notice how this bad habit was making my life miserable, and over the years I learned how to be mindful of it when it happens and remind myself that it's not healthy, that my brain makes everything more negative than it is, and more recently, I've also started stopping it with distractions. I don't know how healthy it is because usually I distract myself by watching UKposts videos lol, but at least when it's TED Talks, I learn something!

Had to watch this for my University level communications class and at the same time, was coincidentally having a conversation with a friend going through a tough divorce. This is an excellent video and I sincerely appreciate the message it has successfully delivered.

This talk really hit me emotionally. It felt like he was speaking directly to me personally. Like he was looking into my soul. We’ve all been through so much. We’ve all been hurt, had shame and guilt. It’s time I practiced emotional hygiene. I’ve beat myself up and allowed myself to be beaten up too much for far too long. It’s time to start helping myself and healing. Thank you Guy.

This guy's voice is incredible.

I've seen quite a few TED talks now, but this one is by far my favourite! Don't get me wrong, I love watching most of the other ones, but this one is really special in my opinion.

This is gotta be one of my favorite TED talk. Thank you Dr. Guy Winch, your speech really saved my life. Stay strong everyone.

Just what I needed to help myself. Searching and finding the right help, I am feeling better by the way he explained what I am going through. May God bless you for helping me and I am sure so many others just like me. Thank you so much.

this guy gave me a boost and let me aspire to become a psychotherapist

His voice keeps reminding me of Kurzgezagt ^_^

Really thankful for this video. Going through a rough patch in life now and this video really helped big time. Hope everyone will be able to work out your issues somehow too

I really needed to hear this. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing your decades of experience for no fee.

this was amazing. i had to clap at the end, i really loved it.

No matter how many times I listen to this talk, no matter how much time has lapsed, It always conveys the message I need at that moment in time.

This has helped me so much. Its helped me recognize why I've been feeling so bad for the past three months, and now I'm going to try and take action and talk to the person causing me pain to tell them how they're hurting me. I can't thank this man enough :,)

I just want to say that this Ted talk helped me a lot when I was in a dark place, thank you so much. Also, if you're going through something, life is hard but just keep moving forward and growing as a person.

Loneliness is a monster. It's so much of a monster I can't recognize it anymore. Am I alone or am I lonely... I no longer can differentiate. As soon as I am surrounded by people and overwhelmed by conversation, I want to be alone. But once I achieve it, I don't know what to do anymore and feel very awkward.

Best TedTalks I‘ve seen so far. Glad, I found this bcs I‘ve always been emotionally messed. Thank you!

I started watching this video right after really bad anxiety and I got to say it did calm me down and made me realize that I need to help myself to become a better minded person and be able to control my thoughts and feelings as I grow up. It’s time to take action guys :)

''loneliness creates a deep psychological wund, one that distorts out percection and scrambles our thinking'' OMG! SO WORTH WATCHING! I

Dr. Winch speaks with great compassion and understanding. He seems like a good man.

This helped me so much during quarantine, this guy right here is more than just a Doctor.

I truly loved this and needed this! Such a blessing to learn about his twins recovery🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Thank you💜

2:25 "Why is it our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health?" That's the story of my life in a nutshell right there

I have watched this so many times

This video is what everyone should be watching. It’s as it says in the video ”ideas worth spreading”. Indeed. I loved this a lot, the things he said made me think of a lot of things. Thank you a lot!💜

This is one of the best TED videos I’ve listened to in a long time. It hit home in so many ways. Thank you ✨🙏✨

I love his tone of voice. He can have a great career in recording audio-books if he wants a change from patients! Not to mention this is one of the best ted talks I have watched.

I’m a twin and I say that everything he said about twins is true. I love his storytelling.

I'm getting used to see a new talk every day.Thank you TED. Learning. A little piece ...every day

Thank you so much for this. As a lone twin it touched me on so many levels. At my sisters funeral I had everyone read out the I love myself statement from Louise Hays book You can heal your life. I instinctively knew I would only survive her death by trying to love myself as much as she did. But the loneliness runs deep here on this physical plane even though I know spiritually we are still joined. So glad for you that you still have your twin and you are sharing the life lessons you came together for. Thanks for the tips I will definitely use the two minute distraction technique. God bless you both.

Looks like I just found the most important video of the century.

OH I needed this right now! I took care of my father until he passed away last September. I've been suffering from minor ailments since. Both my family doctor and physical therapist say I should see a psychologist. Growing up, only weak and deranged people went to a psychologist-- what an idiotic way of thinking. Thank you Guy Winch for explaining this so eloquently.

Amazing and intelligent speaker. His voice is so calm and his message so clear. I want to learn more from him.

Wow! That truly was amazing! Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story! Can’t even tell the difference between the two of you!

Watching this again after having a really dark period of loneliness and suicidal thoughts makes a lot of sence.

his voice and storytelling are a emotional first aid as it is! everyone should hear his good message! 👍🏼

Hearing him speak on failure was particularly eye opening for me. I am recently out of a serious period of depression because of a failure. This gives me hope I can tackle inevitable future failures more mindfully!