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When there's a evil stepmom the dad isn't blamed for not considering the kids when remarrying. But when there's a evil stepdad, the mom is definitely blamed.

Ironically I have a wicked mother AND a wicked stepmother. My dad has a type.

This is why I love Tarzan so much. Kala is not Tarzan's biological mother (hell, they're not even the same species) but she's still a good mother to Tarzan and she loves him dearly. Even when he discovers who his parents really were, he still tells her that she will always be his mother.

I didn’t have a stepmother, but I did have a stepfather. He was a lot like the fairy tale stepmother figure in that he hated me (he was a mysogynist who thought that women were inferior to men) and married my mother to live off her. Later, we found out that that’s how the bastard had made it to his sixties without ever having a job: he’d spent his life marrying women and bleeding them dry before moving on to the next one. He even knocked up one of his wives to compel her to stay, only to abandon her and their sons after they went bankrupt. When my mother divorced him, he tried to lie to the judge in order to get more money. He was lazy, dishonest, and devoid of empathy, and I hated him. Sometimes, the trope has a kernel of truth in it. Not always, but sometimes.

Stepmother here...thanks for this video. One more point I'd add: the child entering new phases of life and it's relation to the matriarchal change. Particularly true in families that lose the biological mother, the stepmother may seem less "nurturing" because she must hold the child to more mature standards than the late mother, because the child is getting older. It's normal that a stepmother might expect a child to, say, help with the dishes, because the child is older and newly capable. The child is tempted to think,"Mom never made me do this," but the child was younger when their mom was alive, and had the mother lived, they would've pushed for the same maturation. The new responsibilities hoisted upon the child can seem unfair, making the stepmother a symbol of time passing/childhood vanishing.

I was raised by my stepdad and get along with him more than my own mother. Hollywood need to show how biological parents at times aren't so good

Too bad you missed to mention Legally Blonde, I mean, the daughter even tried to kill her stepmother which resulted in her own dad's death.

The worst part of a wicked stepmother story is a father that is physically present but not present in the child-rearing. How can a wicked stepmother torment a child and their father just watch or not notice in the first place. It says a lot about gender roles and the assumption of irresponsibility to their own children that father figures essentially don’t partake

As someone who has a stepmother and stepfather, I have to say that women really set the tone for the household. If she switches up on how she treats you verses her own children, then no matter the hospitality you’ll always feel the difference. My stepmom would treat me like a temporary guest shed tolerate, but she’d always worry and care for my half siblings. My aunt however, who married into my family, is so warm and treats me the same way as my cousins so I’d forget that we’re not even blood related. So in my opinion, family is a feeling.

I get the feeling there's a medieval component to this as well- if you're a noble/royal and your mother dies, your father remarries and the new stepmother is a threat to your inheritance because they may try to get _their_ child to inherit title/wealth over you- I'll bet that's why 'sending you away to year-round boarding school' is an implicit threat; you wouldn't be around to counter they're claim to title/wealth.

Dee from Moesha was the best stepmother ever. She was kind, loving, honest- the whole package. Too bad Moesha didn’t appreciate her.

I'm surprised that there was no mention of The Sound of Music when talking about good step-mothers. This was the case of the widowed man and his children getting to know a woman who had no intentions of marriage or money or power. When they finally got married, the children didn't even think of her as "step-mother." She was just "mother."

Don't forget Chuckie's step mother, Kiera from Rungrats. She was such a good step mother, treating her step son and her own daughter equally and love them both. She one of my favorite step mothers.

Adoptee here: Adoptive mothers are HUMAN, that means that adoption is NOT a selfless act. It's as selfish as a mother who chooses to give birth and raise their child. Often different parts of the adoption community are demonized or angelicized, but the truth is that everyone is human--with deep flaws and deep good. And there are adoptive "parents" that are bad and terrible, but there are also people who raise their own biological children who are also terrible people. Assuming that adoption is "selfless" and all APs must be good is as bad as assuming all APs must be bad. Humanize them. Some Adoptive Parents adopt for the wrong reasons. Like the Adoptive Parent that told everyone on a public board that she didn't CARE that the children of China were being trafficked. She wanted HER CHILD NOW (and didn't care if it was trafficked or not). Or the Adoptive "Parents" that rehome their children. They post on a public board they want to "let their child go" and then sell their children like they are on craigslist without government supervision. Several adoptees told me as well, that their parents only got them because they wanted to trap their husbands in the marriage. But equally, there are Adoptive Parents that do engage into the well being of the child, engage into their birth search, help, and honor their co-parents (the child's birth parents) and then if there are also race issues, work hard to engage with those. A title doesn't tell the caliber of the person or their goodness. Their actions do. BTW, adoption, as an institution is deeply flawed, mostly starting with the Victorian era where it was deeply industrialized and systematized to prey on mostly PoCs and poor women. It also has a high chance of intersectionality, and needs deep reforms so it does not prey on the weak, but instead helps the 0.01%-.003% in the system that actually need the help, rather than being done for often profit and to shame women.

My mother raised my halfsisters like they where her own daughters I hate this trope with a fiery passion

Phineas & Ferb show a mixed family in a good light. The mother's also a stepmom to Ferb, and the father a stepdad to Phineas and Candice. The only even slightly strained relationship there is between Candice and her biological mom. And she likes to bust both brother and stepbrother alike. One example of the evil stepdad is in the Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll" (my favorite one, turns out), with Telly Savalas as the less than admirable stepparent.

It's also the whole "You're not my REAL Mother"/"You're not my REAL Father " disconnect a child can have.

I'm a little disappointed the video didn't mention one important factor the popularity of the wicked stepmom concept. Historically, many men remarried for properties and finance. When it comes to inheritance, the father were more incline to give inheritance to their biological children instead of the stepchildren from their new wives which they potentially left off with nothing. A lot of stepmother did their best to secure their own children even if it means abusing the child of their husband's previous wife/wives. To an extent, one sees this obvious trend with royal family in stories. You know, the whole "i want my son to be the the king instead of my stepson." Chinese dynasties told acenotes about a wicked queen/stepmom secretly killing off other contestants to the throne in favor of their biological son.

These stereotypes are so dangerous! My stepdad is a great guy, but I absolutely hated him when I was a teenager, and he seemed to not want anything to do with me. He revealed one reason he was so distant was because the stereotypes that stepfathers are abusive and creepy. But now I get along great with him and he’s family now.

One of the things I love about Matilda is how the biological parents aren’t perfect or caring and it’s the adoptive mother Ms.Honey who forms a beautiful bond with Matilda

Men are not perceived / allowed to be primary caretakers. So, as long as one's not a murderous psychopath, it's all fine in the movies. But mothers - biological /not are seen as primary caretakers, someone irreplaceable coz of the gender roles. This builts unwanted stress on women by unrealistic standards and for men it gives disadvantages in custody battles. When Step moms are portrayed as almost always evil, mothers could NEVER HURT HER CHILDREN. This idea is so wrong.

I co-raised by a stepdad, and he was the best damn dad to me and my older sister.

Please do the “overprotective dad” trope in media who is obsessed with his daughter’s chastity. I hate it so much , and I’m so glad my own father never shamed me for liking and dating boys and instead gave me genuine relationship advice and warnings to help guide me, while ultimately letting me make my own choices.

I'm surprised you mentioned the power dynamics given to a stepfather or seized by a stepmother but didn't include the third perspective that upholds this trope: children _without_ power. Some of the discomfort that comes from the evil stepmother trope is the power imbalance that results simply from the adult having deference in society. Generally speaking, we believe children _owe_ the adults in their lives that deference or respect, simply for being adults. In walks the stepparent who has been gifted complete power over the child, however they chose to use it. Cinderella offers the clearest depiction -- why it's one of the first places our minds go when we hear "evil stepmother" -- when she turns Cinderella into essentially a slave in her own home, and Cinderella is powerless to fight back because she has no means to support herself in society. It's that fear of the unknown, in a sense. The evil stepparent trope rides a lot on the child's uncertainty of "what might this person with all the power do that I couldn't stop?" Consequently, it's why so many of these stories have conclusions that revolve around gaining/employing power in a way that overcomes the power imbalance in the relationship; traditionally the Cinderella character's "Prince" often represents access to a form of society power that tops familial power (royalty, money, etc).

Fran from The Nanny is one of the best stepmothers in t.v.

You’ve overlooked one important stepmother trope: The nanny as stepmother (or maybe as mother replacement). Examples: Nanny Fine, Jane Eyre, Sister Maria in The Sound of Music. In each case, the mother is either dead or incapacitated by madness, and the nanny has competition from the typical stepmother trope.

I’m going to put this here till you bring it out. *Can you please do the romanticisation and justification of cheating as long as it’s done between the main characters?*

There's also the trope in fiction where a character's perfect parents are dead and they're raised by abusive relatives. Examples include Harry Potter, Jane Eyre, and James and The Giant Peach.

The stepfather trope could also encapsulate the lazy abusive boyfriend trope, where the stepfather is a leach who uses up the mother's time, energy, savings (and wages), and labor (cooking, cleaning, etc.) while offering little in return. He's emotionally abusive, and when he isn't being taken care of or is denied something he wants, that abuse turns up to 10 (and often becomes physical).

As a teacher, I met the most amazing step mom. Bio mom had been addicted to drugs while pregnant. As a result, the boy had a lot of issues, including unusually small size, behavior issues, and the inability to feel physical pain. He'd throw a temper tantrum and we'd have to make sure something soft was under his head, even if it was a hand, because otherwise nothing would stop him from bashing his head on concrete. She worked part-time to care for him, and take him to appointments. When she took him out of school so he could go to a special school, I told her how amazing I thought she was. Poor woman just burst in to tears. I hope her husband let her know daily how much he appreciates her.

I played the evil step mother in a high school production of Happily Never Ever. Love this role!

My step-mother has never tried to be or replace my mother, but she's always been hella supportive from the beginning. She's an amazing woman, and similar to the Stepmother movie, I'm a better person because I had both her and mother in my life.

I don't talk to either of my bio-parents but just spent Christmas with my dad's ex-wife. She is honestly the best person in my life. We spent years working on creating a positive relationship, with healthy boundaries, accountability, conflict resolution, and listening to one another. Neither of my bio-parents felt like they needed to put in that effort because we were "blood." My ex-step-mom showed me what a healthy parent-child relationship looks like. It gave me the courage to leave an toxic parent-child relationship.

I got a little sad when this vídeo showed a scene from Enchanted yet proceeded to never talk about it. It's funny because, now that I think about it, we can find two kinds of stepmother in that movie : the good stepmother ( Giselle, Indina's character) and the evil stepmother ( the Prince's stepmom)...which, now that I think about it more, she's not technically an evil stepmother and we get that from te way she talks to her stepson, but more of an evil mother-in-law, yet it kinda fits on the stereotype, I think...? But what's very interesting is that the film also shows us that stepmothers can be just as good as normal mothers. If you look at it, in the beginning we see the lawyer's daughter annoyed by her father's girlfriend, even though we only see her trying to be nice to the girl, then Giselle explains to the little girl that stepmothers can be good and, at the end, the princess becomes a stepmother herself and loved by her stepdaughter. So, yeah, again, this movie also talks about this trope and (maybe) subverts it...? I'm sorry for all of the exitations and the fact I can't recall the name of the characters, I haven't seen it for a while.😅 I still hope this adds something to the discussion.😊

I almost had a stepmother, but my dad screwed up the relationship. I still talk to her, she's a super nice lady. I wish it had worked out.

I think the stepmother in Cinderella has more depth than people give her credit for. I don't think she's good or justified, just more dimensional. I think she was unhappy with her daughters from the very start, as she doesn't seem to be very pleased with them and perhaps wanted them to be more talented, skilled, or intelligent, like Cinderella. She had status once, until her husband died, and married another man, maybe hardened by the fact that it wasn't out of love but necessity for his daughter. The stepsisters never car d for Cindy because they never had an ounce of true love in their lives and so couldn't practice it. I wouldn't be surprised if the Stepmother compared the two often and had to compete with one another or felt less than. Then comes Cinderella, who's kind and good, even with the loss of both her parents, much to their envy. She has everything they wanted-and yet had nothing, as she's a maid. Comes the ball, where they have a chance to be happy and marry well for the sake of STATUS, not happiness, unlike Cinderella who just wants to go to the ball to have fun and escape her duties. She has the luckiness of meeting the prince, who loves her for her and doesn't mind the other maidens who probably just want him for his money and title. When they realize it, this would just infuriate the sisters and their mother, leaving them in disarray. One of the many reasons why I love Cinderella and her fairy tale.

I have 2 stepdaughters and I often joke that I'm their evil stepmother and I make evil witch laughs when I do it. It cracks them up and it's sort of a reverse psychology tactic because they love to tell me how wrong I am and how so NOT evil I am. We're far from perfect but I'm so thankful for my blended family, including their mom.

This was more triggering for me than I thought it would be. I had a stepmother who was wonderful, and even though my dad did reunite with my mom a few years before she passed last year, I still love my former stepmom. She's a beautiful person who loved me from the first time she ever saw me. I also had a stepfather, though, and he hated me. He hated me, and I couldn't stand him. He died in 2002, and he has tried to turn my mother against me. It worked at first, but then she drew closer to me and started defending me against him. I've seen him beat her, and he's threatened me. Most of my mom's boyfriends have beat her and abused me somehow. Just so much went on with my stepfather, and my mom's former boyfriends who I mistakenly saw as fathers, so this was really hard for me to watch. I cried watching this.

This is the narcissistic mother, who is much more common then you'd think. The stepmom part is to get some distance, but if you grew up with an abusive narcissistic mother you know exactly what I mean. You long for a "real mom", trust me.

I always thought that Alison Janey's stepmother character in Juno was awesome and really subverted the evil stepmother trope!

Now that we are starting to go down the horror path, consider horror's evolution/tropes. This includes 70's-90's slasher, 00's torture porn, 10's to now slow burn indie and foreign horror. Cabin in the Woods (which I loved) ticked off several horror fans by making fun of several horror tropes.

I was raised mostly by my stepmother since age 7, and even though she and my dad separated about 10 years ago, I still have a good relationship with her and her children. We're all family

I have one for you: Ive always been fascinated by the "rebellious teen" storylines like in the movies "Kids" and "thirteen" or tv shows like "skins" and "euphoria". it would be nice to see an in depth analysis of those.

I think Enchanted is one of the best examinations of the trope. In the fairy tale world, the stepmother (the queen) is evil. But in the real world, Giselle ends up a stepmother, and she is the perfect mother. Even the almost stepmother (played by Idina Mendel) is also lovely. The fact that it didn’t work out had nothing to do with her personally

If we are already doing family tropes, do either the cool uncle or cool older brother next.

The thing is, stepparents very often are actually awful. I have very few friends who have a good relationship with their stepparents. I was so ready to tolerate and even like my stepmother as a child. I had no problem with a new person coming to my life and my dad's household. But overtime she started to order me around all the time. I had to sacrifice so much of my free time, social life and extracurricular activities to help her and my dad raise my half siblings. And I was never given a choice to say no, ever. Everytime I tried to explain to her that she's overstepping her boundaries, that she's not my actual parent and that I do not have to do anything and everything she asks of me, my dad came in and basically said that he, as my parent who I do answer to, is ordering me to listen to her just as I listen to him. So she kept abusing it. I think I could count on one hand all the times she said "please" when she asked me to help with something. And everytime I called her out for it and said that I'd appreciate it if she was more polite and just said "please" so that I don't feel inferior to her, she said that we aren't equal and that she does not have to say "please" when she asks me to do stuff because I'm just obligated to do it without questioning her. Anytime I tried to say no, she got furious and my dad told me off and called me selfish and spoiled. Now I'm almost 20 and I don't know how to say no to anything cause I feel like no matter how busy, mentally or physically exhausted I am, if I say to to anyone who's asking me for anything, I'm a sefish and horrible person if I say no. And my needs should always come last. They're not important. (I have a stepdad too and he's awful as well just in a different way... I don't know what is it about stepparents. My take is that most people become very toxic when they have an authority over someone and since we don't love our stepparents the same way we love our parents, we're less willing to excuse their toxic behaviour and more willing to ruin our relationship when they overstep their boundaries.)

I think a GREAT deconstruction of this troop is the first Nanny Mcphee. I remember being raised on Cinderella and watching Nanny Mcphee when I was 7, and seeing this scene where all the kids complain about their father getting remarried because "stepmothers are always wicked, you see it in the fairytales." It looks like he's going to get engaged to this awful, evil-stepmother stereotype- and then he changes his mind and marries a woman who loves the kids and who the kids love- and the kids outright say 'Well, I guess the fairytales aren't ALWAYS right' I think it's awesome how this video shows that the trope has such a valid sociological reason for forming, but how that reason just isn't relevant anymore!

Correct me if I'm wrong about this: in Trainwreck, Amy's sister is a stepmom who thinks of her stepson as her own son, but her family considers her biological baby to be her "real" son. I think a part of the evil stepmom is that men don't understand how someone can just love another person without a biological drive. Men see children as a continuation of their line, and so there is a lot of pressure for daughters to have children of their own to continue their father's line. Furthermore, the pain of childbirth is often seen as the cost of having children. A stepmom who loves her stepchildren threatens that view, as she has all the benefits of having children without the pain of childbirth. Oddly enough, having a healthy relationship with one's stepparents is a great thing, and can promote positive development.

honestly love how they portrayed the step-mom in queen's gambit. at first i thought the mom's gonna exploit beth or something but im glad they switched it up and instead explored their closeness together

One positive step father figure that I always remember in television is the dad in Homeward Bound, you don't necessarily think of it much because the main plot is of course the cute little fuzzy animals but there is a whole side plot in which he is trying his best to respect the children's wishes but also trying to develop a relationship with each of them, with Peter the oldest being the most resistant because he misses his father who is no longer with them.

As a step mother and step grandmother myself--the most stigmatized kind, younger than her spouse and his oldest child--losing my tenuous connection with those children and never truly being accepted by the family at large has been one of the great pains of my life. Thank you for this fair look at the stepmother. I thought of adopting kids in my youth and people who deny that a step parent or adoptive parent could be truly loving offend me deeply. I suspect it reflects their own view of love as tribal and possessive and inability to imagine a love not rooted in biology. As a very empathic person, I actually don't understand how anyone can fail to feel love when faced with the vulnerability and naive openness of a child's being.

Maria from Sound of Music is a good stepmother

I blame Disney for this trope being so popular.

The stepparent tropes are probably related to different types of abuses experienced by the child growing up. A mother’s abuse is often more silent in the forms of psychological abuse and neglect. While the father’s abuse is physical, often violent and some of them are just all together not present. But, because we are scared of criticizing our mothers, since they are our primary caregivers, we create an entire trope(subconsciously or consciously) to reflect their abuse. Since step mothers are not the same as biological mothers, there is less guilt attached to criticizing them. However, because many people that have trauma from their fathers do not have father figures all together, they create the idea of a step father to make that for that and create an ideal image of a father. Also, another reason why there are much more positive portrayals of step fathers is that probably more people have absent fathers rather than extremely abusive mothers. If you are interested in stuff like this I really recommend Jordan Teresa’s series on daddy&mommy issues!

My stepmother was one of the kindest and warmest women I'd ever known. I was genuinely happy for my dad when I found out he had met someone, and even happier after I met her and saw how nice she was. She sadly passed away from cancer 4 years ago.

I had a stepmother who was jealous of my existence and made the little time I got to spend with my father unnecessarily tense. Thankfully, we were able to honestly discuss these events when I reached adulthood and now have a very loving relationship, but it took decades to reach this point.

My stepmother is actually horrible and mentally ill, but my father exposed me to this horrible person. Fathers need to be judged, if nothing else, for choosing women who treat their children horribly. At the end of the day, fathers enable ”evil” stepmothers…

To be fair, the reason stepfathers get a pass is partially that uncles are usually the go-to male villain (Hamlet, Richard III). After all, they have a better chance at inheritance than a stepfather. To a lesser extent, godmothers (Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty) also have a better reputation than godfathers (Godfather Death, The Godfather). On another note, this video acknowledging the examples in the 1965 Cinderella and The Slipper and the Rose assures me they actually put a lot of thought into this.

I do remember thinking my stepdad was gonna keep my mom happy and busy. No. He came in power tripping. Stepmom literally an angel, always loved me and she was with my dad b4 my birth. My dad has been passed 9 years now n my bond w stepmom is stronger than with anyone 💞 cant imagine my life without that amazing woman.

This trope has a long history in both culture and psychology. Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study) is a basic test which correlates highly with negative life outcomes like drug abuse, depression and prison. Children who are raised in a household with a step parent are FAR more likely to suffer from these negative life outcomes as adults.

For my fairy tale retellings (I'm an aspiring writer), I was thinking on humanizing the stepmother, both good and bad; Cinderella's stepmother was indifferent toward her stepdaughter, feeling neither love nor hate for her, but she did stole her father away from a kindhearted teacher whom he originally intended to marry, even though Cinderella was still mourning her mother's death due to her feeling guilty at her death in childbirth, and the stepmother was already a wicked woman who has shady dealings in the slave trade and orphan-selling/child-trafficking business (which is how her family made their fortune). However, when the stepmother suffers a miscarriage, she superstitiously and irrationally blames both Cinderella and her mother's/husband's late wife's ghost, and she takes in Cinderella (while still abusing her) as recompense for her miscarriage. Their is also a symbolic comparison between the stepmother and mother's ghost to the Judgement of Solomon (with two women fighting over a child). For Snow White, she is at peace and gets along fine with her stepmother, a meek and pleasant woman. Its her step-grandmother that loathes her; a domineering, narcissistic, and abusive sociopath who kills any granddaughters born into her family, as she fears of a prophecy that a granddaughter would not only outmatch her in beauty but also be the literal death of her. And like Cronus of Greek mythology, she cannibalizes the baby girls, consuming their hearts and livers. The stepmother has enough of her mother's monstrosity and sets out to protect both her own future daughter(s) and stepdaughter.

SNL made the CUTEST skit about step mothers with Melissa McCarthy. I don’t even have step parents and I was crying because it was so wholesome.

Would love to see The Take discuss adoption, found families and biological families - as an adoptee, I've noticed over the years that there's this narrative of blood-related superiority which continues to saturate the media. Plot lines surrounding finding your "real" parents, adoption as a last resort, having it be some big secret, resenting non-biological parents even if they were the ones to raise and care for you, etc. are all too common. I'd love to see the many poor and overused examples of this trope (Hercules, Avengers' Loki, Spencer Hastings in PLL, Jon Snow in GOT, literally there are so many) compared to the few but well-done depictions of adoption and found families (Matilda, Meet the Robinsons, freaking Over the Hedge, Anne with An E). Adoption micro-aggressions are real and something literally nobody talks about regarding media

I would guess step mothers aren't loved as much when kids retain a strong relationship with their bio mothers after divorce. It's more typical for dads to take a step back after divorce, so there is more opportunity for kids to develop a closer relationship with a step dad if their bio dad isn't in the picture as much. Like in situations where the kids live with their mom and step father full time and only see dad and step mom on the weekends. It would make sense that in those situations, kids to have a stronger relationship with whichever step parent they spend the most time with.

We need a Bad Dad Trope video.

Say what you will about Stepmothers but Elaine Hendrix in The Parent Trap is the reason that I started first considering the possibility that I was bisexual 😂😂😍

I personally feel that this is a very damaging thing for step parents and also to add that the step dad version is very different but in away it evens out for the godmother/godfather version with godfathers being the schemy type and the godmother being a magical figure

I remember going to great lengths to avoid refering to my stepfather with that word. For me, there was something intrinsically evil about the word itself, that I found it offensive to call him that as I love him very much. That's got to show you what bad reputation the steparents have.

Chris Columbus gets a lot of flack, but 'Stepmom' is my favorite movie of his. One of the things I thought was interesting was the role reversal on the trope. Susan Surrandon's biological mom was the one jealous of Julia Roberts, and actively tried to sabotage her efforts to bond with *her* kids. (This mirrored the situation happening with my mom and my stepmom around the same time.) I'd also like to shoutout to "Tangled''s Mother Gothel. Even though she straight up stole Repunzel as a baby and raised her as her own, she fits the Wicked Stepmother trope, being a threat to and gaslighting our heroine her whole life growing up.

Matilda is an amazing example of how a child's adoptive mother (Miss Honey) is much more loving and kind than her biological family, with her biological mother being dismissive and neglectful. I always loved Miss Honey.

Phineas and Ferb has great blended family representation. To the point where it's really easy to forget that's even the case.

I’m glad the stepmother/daughter dynamic of “the Queen’s Gambit” was highlighted. I found it refreshing, sweet, and touching.

it's also a statistical fact that step mothers are introduced to the kids earlier than stepfathers and with less regard to weather they are ready for it. Men are naturally expecting women to just be charmed by their kids and become instant mothers regardles of weather they ever had kids of their own. Men on the other hands are being introduced slowly to the wife's kids, with baby steps and treated like heroes if they do literally anything, while if the step mum is not being perfect, she get's criticised. Yeah, I am trying to be a step mum.

It seems this trope isn't limited to Western narratives. One of my favorite folktales from Japan, "The Mirror of Matsuyama", features a wicked stepmother. Although at least there, the stepmother realizes the error of her ways and comes to treat her stepdaughter with kindness.

I love the mention of Disenchantment in which the stepmother(Una) is revealed to be the honest woman who despite not bonding with Bean did want what a queen would want for her princess - to fill the role assigned to them, while Dagmar, Bean's mother, used her maternal bond like a poisoned apple to lull the royal family of Dreamland into a false sense of security.

One of the best stepparent characters I've seen in film or TV, was Dee from "Moesha." She was so caring and loving towards Moesha and Miles. I wish you mentioned her in the video.

The Take has me unlearning my internalized misogyny one video at a time, so grateful for this channel

I grew up with a step mother and step father after my parents divorced and remarried. My step mother loved me so much and treated me better than my own mother. But my step father treated me differently after my half sister was born. He even become more abusive verbally and mentally to both me and my mom. He's just an asshole, and I try to avoid him as much as possible.

My own sister is a stepmother and has kids of her own. Her new husband and step-kids are awesome. I am the proudest auntie ever.

I have been having a Stepmother for 15 years. She's good to my dad and I genuinely like her.

My dad had a few stepfathers in his life. Each one either abused him or was a dead-beat. He vowed to never marry again if my mom died first. And they both made their wills to say that whatever money and property they acquired together would go only to us kids--the new husband wouldn't see a dime. My mom won't even fathom getting married again if my dad died. "I don't want to train someone new!" 🤣 They'll be married 50 years this summer.

This was something in my culture way before Hollywood got a hold of it, and I suspect it's the case for most cultures on earth. People blaming this trope on Hollywood are woefully uninformed. A stepparent being at odds with stepkids is a trope as old as time.

I LOVE THAT VERSION OF CINDERELLA STARRING BRANDY AND WHITNEY HOUSTON SO MANY DIFFERENT RACES AND CULTURES MIXED TOGETHER AND SO INTERESTING I LOVED IT AS A KID 🥰😍

Interesting story I read years back from an alternative faerie tale universe: Snow White's stepmom realized that Snow's biological dad was missing his dead wife so much that he was attempting to sexually molest his own daughter. The story ends with the stepmom taking Snow away on horseback in the dead of night to escape.

The TV show "Please Like Me" has a brilliant stepmother character, Mae, that's shown to be fierce, funny, smart and do wonders for the man she marries and his extended family. She's one my favorite characters on the show.

Lilo and Stitch: Lilo; how trauma can effect a family and children

As an adult I have learnt that Meredith from Parent Trap was never the true villain of the story. The real villains were those awful patente who decided it was a good idea to split and hyde the twins from each other, chosing their own favourite daughter and then raising them separated.

The Brady bunch had a good break from evil stepparents. Mike was a caring stepfather and it was likewise for Carol who was a caring woman who loved her stepsons

The modern trope was boosted by the people who wrote down and or collected European folklore "sanitizing" the stories, in many cases it was originally very much the bio-mother who was evil. The idea of a mother hating or even harming her own kids (which is very much a thing that happens, especially with narcissistic personality disorder and other severe psychological issues) was just not compatible with Christian-conservative family values so it had to go. The step-mum was just a cop out. Edit: Yeah, they mentioned it. Ignore this comment I guess, lol.

My own stepmother is actually a good mother to me. She's raised me more and has taught me more. Honestly I used to believe this trope was for reality.

Thank you! I requested this long ago and I'm a stepmother. Honestly it's VERY HARD being a stepparent. Constantly walking the line of I'm not your actual parent but I'm an adult in your life that has to be a good influence and caregiver. It's not easy stepping into a situation where a child has been raised for years by a single dad and their biological mother is absentee and occasionally on drugs. I refer to my step daughter as my kid and we're very close but it's also hard/uncomfortable when you have to discipline them for lying or doing something bad. It took a few years to get to the point where we feel like a normal family. It feels great that she now comes to me with problems and puberty questions. Heck she feels more comfortable talking to me than she does her own father. Being a stepparent is not easy and it's a lot to consider before getting into a relationship with someone.

Hot damn, The Take always picks the best opening/closing lines to their videos. The closer for this video "She could have us both, love us both" is especially heartwarming and profound.

fun fact: in brazil we try to dismiss this thought with a pun stepmother is "madrasta" but the "ma" sounds like "má" = bad, so people often replace it as "boadrasta" ("boa" = good) ("drasta" has no special meaning)

Can you do a video about the trope where women "fix" their toxic, abusive, and emotionally unavailable male romantic partners? Good examples of this are the Fifty Shades of Grey and After series. Seeing therapists didn't help Christian or Harden cope with their traumas, but their romantic partners are fixing them through their love. This trope is toxic because it belittles therapy, and makes it seem that women can change their toxic partners through the power of love. It's not your romantic partner's job to be your therapist (and vice versa). Romantic love is seen as necessary for people to be able to cope with past trauma. It wasn't until the "right" girl came along that the men are finally able to confront their own demons.

I recently rewatched "Stepmom" and was amazed by how forward thinking it was for its time. Also this trope made me think of the evil or difficult mother-in-law trope. I don't know if you already done one or if you think it exists but to me it is a very common one and just like the stepfather, the father in law is also shown in a better light, usually more accepting and kinder to the daughter-in-law.

I mean I have always perceived the stepparent as something negative and antagonistic. Even a friend of mine had a step mother and a step brother and he kinda hated them both. Watching juno was the first time I realised that It didnt had to be an antagonistic relationship, but a good and suportive one, that could involve carrying about each other and mutual support.

It would be interesting if we could reverse the roles and have more evil mothers and kind stepmothers. Being a biological parent doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re always loving and protective of their children, especially if they hadn’t planned on having children and accidentally wound up with them.

What I always found unrealistic sometimes is that the half-siblings join in on making your life a living hell...sometimes it's not hell. But you sense subtle differences in how you're treated vs them, that no one else really picks up on. That applies to biological parents too, you can experience completely different parents in the same person and you sound ungrateful or delusional when you point it out.

I loved the way American Girl's Josefina stories tackled the "new mom". It was a great read to one of the children I worked with who struggled with a new stepmom. Of course, it was made easier because she was already their aunt. Another good one was The Sound of Music. My mother is now going through navigating life as a "stepmom". It's hard to shake this trope. Stepmoms might get married to the father, but sometimes, they aren't treated as part of the family, and that can create the stepmom into someone who is unhappy, lonely, and bitter.