Thank you for doing this. It must have been hard to share about your past. Please know it makes a difference. I didn’t know you could heal from BPD. I appreciate all you do for this community.

It's not a shame to have some diagnosis, but it is a responsibility of an adult person to work on that and find solutions. You are doing that in such a beautiful way :) My deep respect!

I cried listening to you. I have abandoned myself for three years and just locked myself inside the room doing nothing. I have given up therapy for years thinking that I will just be like this for the rest of my life, and I don't want to create harm to others nor trying to build a vibrant life anymore. Listening to someone who described me and my feelings so accurately made me feel understood. I want to go to therapy again, give myself and life another chance. Just leaving a comment here so everytime when someone sees this and replies, I will be able to listen to you and remind myself to carry on.

I have BPD and THANK YOU FOR THIS because I'm SO ashamed of it and it really gets me depressed understanding that I have this personality disorder. It's overwhelming and every single thing I read or hear about it is straight baaaaad connotations attached to BPD and it is so refreshing to see someone talk about it. It really is like a deep shame I carry so this helped. Thank you! ❤️ Truly.

I am the ex partner of someone with borderline personality disorder. My life was destroyed by her, 29 arrests and 9 times in jail. I lost my house, my business and almost my sanity. I’ve spent 5 years in therapy with ptsd and an anxiety disorder due to the relationship, our daughter who now lives with me also has ptsd and anxiety. No one believed me until my daughter grew up and came forward, I knew the day would come one day. I have retaliated in situation, they were really intense and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. I was constantly being destabilised, put down and towards the end she isolated me by trying it on with my closest friends and having multiple affairs. When I tried leaving her she would pull suicide stunts. She and her lover used to gaslight me and try to make me think I was imagining it, I became a broken man and eventually left to keep my sanity. Then I started my journey to build myself up and get help to my daughter. 5 years ago my daughter managed to break free from her control and manipulation. She was made to feel responsible for her mother and the guilt used to keep her locked in as it did me. When my daughter finally left, her mother targeted her anger towards me by accusing me of historical rape. Today we have police protection from her and she’s not allowed to contact us.

Im a mental health professional (MFT) and, especially when I was still accruing hours and was new to the work, I would get really overwhelmed by my BPD clients. Their emotions would be experienced by me as being so intense, it would feel somewhat like I was being sucked into a big tornado. I’d walk away feeling like I couldn’t fathom what just happened, and often would be fearful that they were going to commit suicide and there was nothing I could do to stop it. They would often express such a great need and so much belief in my ability to help them… that it would add to the sense of overwhelming intensity. Now I’m better at recognizing the signs, but it’s still something that I have to remain vigilant about noticing signs of so I can stay grounded and be more effective in helping people.

I was in a relationship with a man with BPD who was not as conscious of his mental state as you are. Indeed he was not at all. To see that it is possible to develop such a great and outstanding self-criticism as you have is overwhelming. You can and must be so proud of yourself and I am so thankful that you share this with us.

Ouch. This was difficult. My mother has BPD and I still harbor a lot of anger about the madness I grew up in. Thank you for being open about it. Still an uphill battle on my part

All those with BPD who aren't like Amber are in high defense, meanwhile everyone who's had to deal with someone like Amber with BPD knows it's a valid diagnosis.

I am 41, I was officially diagnosed with bpd in January after struggling for years with it. I stay at home as much as I can. I don’t socialise for fear of how I will react. I’m empty, the feeling of emptiness, loneliness, it’s consuming me whole.

Thank You for your raw honesty & accountability!!! THIS is how the stigmatized perception of the disorder will be changed. Not by all the sugar coating & minimizing I currently see going on throughout the community.

THANK YOU!!! I have recently become single from a toxic relationship that lasted 3 years. The last year was unbearable for both of us. This trial has opened my eyes to the fact my partner definitely had BPD, something I knew nothing about. This is bringing so much information and closure for me. Thank you. Here are some of her behaviours that used to make no sense to me: she no joke broke up with me around 50 times, for the first 20 I believed her every time, would believe it was my fault and would apologise profusely, after that I slowly started not caring when she broke up with me. She would throw away a friendship of 15 years because of a bad look or an innocuous sentence. She behaved as if everyone had to think of how their actions would affect her, even if they were in a different country. And she had a right to get mad at them if they didn't. She thought she was the main topic if conversation when she wasn't around. She is Jewish and thought anyone who would disagree with her on any subject would be because they are anti-semitic. Including myself. Was absurdly jealous, had access to all my social media accounts, and I never even tried to change the passwords cause I knew she would say that it's because I was cheating. I had to cut ties with 100% of my female friends. She would have these fits where she would be 100% convinced I cheated because of a "feeling she had in her heart" At times she got fisical, I would just protect my face and let her get tired ( she never really hurt me, except for once she stabbed me with a fork at a super fancy restaurant) At the beginning of our relationship we were madly in love and she was a wonderful partner, she had my back in any issue I had, supported me financially when I was in need, pushed me to pursue my buisness venture, even though she mainly tried to take control of it because "she knew better" There was a mountain of verbal abuse that got more and more constant with absolute belittling, saying how worthless I was. It all started to change 2 years in when she said I had changed because I wouldn't say she was beautiful every morning how I used to. The last year was hell and I became bitter and combative, wouldn't let her get away with any of her snarky remarks. She knew so well how to push my buttons and I didn't have the self control to let I go. She thought she had the right to get mad a ppl if they didn't say what she wanted when she wanted. It has just been a few months since we split and I was left with a huge vacuum inside of me, because i relinquished all sense of agency i had. I would just wake up and ask her to tell me what i had to do that day, because i learnt that was the best way to avoid conflict, but now i am just empty. This video is helping me make sense of it and get my self back. THANK YOU, and I know everyone Is different. Sorry for the long post, I guess this is my therapy.

I have quiet/Impulsive BPD so all of my emotions are mostly pointed inwards.. Glad there is more info going out there so people get more understanding on the diagnosis. The 4 Sub types Being so different should be explained

I saw you on legal bytes and i was so impressed by your bravery and eloquence. I feel like in our society we hardly ever celebrate success in the mental health field. So, congrats on your continued success, may your testimony inspire others.

Could you do a reaction video on Crazy Ex Girlfriend? The main characters on that show is also diagnosed with BPD and they really go into depth with exploring the character’s journey with mental health and BPD

I have developed a “stable sense of self” that incorporates my switching moods and personalities. I am all of the these and sometimes nothing. I can even tomorrow something I have not been before. My self container is flexible and breathable. This has been life changing

I’m watching this after Amber’s first day of direct testimony, and I’m dying to hear what you thought of it. It felt very performative and inauthentic to me.

This was one of the most honest and compassionate presentations I’ve seen on mental health. I’ve wondered if I have BPD, but based on the symptoms you describe, I don’t think I do (I feel guilt A LOT), but I’ve been diagnosed with GAD and depression. I had (and continue to have) identity issues that didn’t start until I was 21 and my father (who was my rock) passed away from a chronic illness. I literally didn’t understand how I could live without him. It’s been many years now and, though I can’t say my identity issues have resolved, they have evolved into other problems. Life is difficult, but I’m sure glad you’re in it.

I have bpd and I just started but wow did it hit hard when you said, "I want to exist and I feel like you don't want me to exist when you leave" thats really what it feels like

All four of my children were adopted out of difficult circumstances. My oldest daughter came home at the age of eight. What I didn't know then, that I know now is that she is BPD. She consumed so much more than her share of family resources; financial, emotional and time. She is thirty seven and I recently testified against her in a custody hearing. Her extreme self serving behaviors, now complicated by addictions, was making my young grandson's life HELL! She is estranged from everyone in the family due to her lack of insight and constant lies accusing everyone of what she is actually doing. I'm seeing the same facial expressions on Amber Heard's face that I am so familiar with. You gave me a little bit of hope that maturity might bring insight but my guard will stay up.

I'm so glad I came across this. Having been diagnosed in my 20's I've lived with this for 30 years. I'm glad this clarifies that not all people with this diagnosis are horrible people.

Thank you, Dr. Courtney. I have a daughter with BPD. My heart breaks for the emotional pain those with BPD are nearly constantly in, yet also feel the trauma with you that comes from it being a part of her life and ours when it’s triggering unstable things. You & your relationship with your husband give me such hope for my daughter’s future. God bless you.

Just came across you (this video) The ending just got me 😢😢😢 I have BPD & several other diagnosis’s. This was really interesting, would love to speak with you. Subscribed! I’ll go find you on Instagram & DM you 💗

I would love to hear more about the boundaries you've built with your husband after he said he is done. Because I've been here with my long time current boyfriend and it's quite painful to see how my good intentions tend to hurt him in ways I sincerely am not realizing. I have started therapy recently and am really looking to see more and more positive BPD examples. Amber is not one of them, there is no excuse for tocixity. I've had a mother with NPD and possibly BPD too and she damaged me in ways I cannot put into words right now. Amber does not need excuses and no toxic relationship does. There are reasons behind bad behaviors as there are for good behaviors but we should really see the reality here. Amber needs to speak the truth and let Johnny take his career back. He does not deserve to be seen as the bad guy just because our society functions that way. And she can go ahead and work on her issues on her own.

Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability and explanation. I can see your empathy for your husband, and you should both be proud of yourselves for doing the work.

I don't know why, but hearing you say 'I'm glad that you exist' made me cry.. Thank you for this video & I am glad that you exist & continue to help people..❤️

Thank you for doing this live!

My BPD brothers and sisters, you are a warrior. We are all on our personal paths to continuous healing…even when accepting a small part of who we are outside of this diagnosis. Strengths to remember: Infectious excitement, being able to see beauty in the world, humor, the empathy of a super hero, heightened creativity,curiosity, boldness, courageousness, and resilience. For all of those who have been hurt as partners of individuals whom had BPD…I am incredibly sorry…you will probably never hear it from them…but I pray for your happiness, peace, and healing to be in your life. God Bless You and keep you always. ♥️

you explained everything perfectly! thank you so much for sharing this and thank you for being so open & honest about your journey. you’ve come so far, and it shows! thank you for spreading awareness of the reality of BPD.

Thank you for this breakdown! This is such an important video. Would you be open to creating a video for c-PTSD and how it differs from other disorders? So many people are misdiagnosed and spend years spinning their wheels before having the real diagnosis. I've heard so many survivors say that they were diagnosed with BPD, OCD, ADHD, etc before finding out that they actually have c-PTSD. This has been my experience as well.

Thank you for being so vulnerable. You've given me a much larger picture of what borderline means.

I'm crying my eyes out, because the diagnosis of bpd in this case was so negative and damaging . I have bod and I don't tell anyone because if the stigma that already exists

Thank you for your professional and personal insight and honesty about BPD. As a spouse providing support in a healing journey, your nuanced truth is so helpful for cultivating hope and understanding. Endless gratitude for you!

Considering this is only your second live, you did extremely well. It was very interesting, thank you 🙏

This was really powerful and raw and brave. Thank you so much 🙏🏻 You deserve to be here!

Courtney~ 💙😇💙 I randomly came across your channel while perusing UKposts videos. Firstly, thank you IMMENSELY for this segment‼️ As a near senior, southern American F with a lifetime of mental, psychological and emotional issues , I can strongly relate to almost every single thing you’ve described and shared. I’ve had 100s of hours of therapy over the years, many years of medications and a twisted processing going on all the time in my own mind - negatively impacting every relationship I have ever had. Your explanations have threaded the various components together that I’ve not previously formulated for myself. All of it wrapped up like a beautiful present and gifted to me. Hugs and smooches to you for your wisdom, strength, empathy and honesty. Must get busy with my newfound connections but I’ll be back soon‼️🥰🌎✌🏽👍🏽

For someone who does not have BPD, this information is extremely helpful. I feel more understanding towards Amber Heard after seeing your video. Prior to this, I DID feel just sadness about the pain both parties were going through. However, seeing the media and UKpostsrs switch between its standard "nice lady good, beastly man bad", to, "nice man good, mean and manipulative lady very, very bad!" has been extraordinarily frustrating. The behaviours within (allegedly) this relationship were unacceptable. To ensure that we move forward as a society, it's so very important that education to the public, as well as removing the stigma of having this condition and then obtaining treatment for those with this disorder, needs to happen in order for us to make a massive step forward for everyone. Thank you for the information - and I just loved your 'Euphoria' videos!

I also have BPD but I am high functioning, self aware, and actively in DBT. As I listened to Johnny and Amber's story, I felt strongly that she may be like me, but untreated and unaware. While she is responsible for her own behaviour, even when at her worst, I do feel for her. It's not a fun time living with BPD, it's quite unpleasant. About 10% of us commit suicide. She's not been acting like that for fun, but out of unreasonable and extreme fear of abandonment and/or rejection, but also of engulfment. We think in black and white terms, it's all or nothing all the time. We tend to need tons of reassurance. We have impaired empathy, but we do have empathy. It just isn't always working properly. Mindfulness helps. We have no stable sense of self, only self-states. We can be chameleons, adjusting to the wants, needs, preferences, personality of those around us, close to us, idealized by us. But once we split you, once we are threatened and start devaluing you, we cannot even remember the good times or what we liked about you. Or maybe we start to feel we are "losing ourselves" in a relationship, and leave it abruptly with little explanation - fear of engulfment. Maybe we start to think you don't love us, will leave us, even if it's all in our head, we will leave you first to avoid the pain of abandonment.

It's so good that you're sharing how you healed and the path you took to reach that from a very rough place. Thank you for being brave and honesty. Good information, too! TY!

This iz tremendously brave and important. Thank yew so much for this video Dr Courtney. My partner, my sister and two of my closest friends are BPD and i consider myself fairly knowledgeable and this has still be very helpful to me. Thank yew for taking a stand and trying to explore and understand this very sensitive topic. This poor woman, regardless of her guilt or innocence, does not deserve this level of public scrutiny and i cannot imagine how difficult it must be for someone with PBD to deal with. There iz something deeply diseased about a culture that needs to host such an inquiry on already public figures to this degree of scrutiny. I just keep thinking, of both Johnny and Amber, these poor people. Thank yew for yaw compassion and understanding. God bless

I was diagnosed with stress induced bpd shortly after I turned 17, due to my traumatic upbringing. Everything you said about it makes sense and really resonated with me, and I really appreciate how you approached this. Thank you 💙

A lot of people are confusing Amber's behavior with NPD. I think it is the only PD they know. It is good that you are providing information for more people to understand.

I saw you in a group live a few days ago and I felt like what you had to say was so enlightening! Thank you for sharing!

I am managing BPD too, and I want to THANK YOU for representing for those of us who are doing the work of becoming self aware and maintaining self awareness. You are going the extra mile and doing the work of sharing your knowledge on this topic with others. That's a lot of work. But it's good work. I see you and appreciate you so much for it. I am definitely glad you exist. Admitting our faults is terrifying when as children we were constantly, severely castigated and punished for any little thing we did wrong, and constantly blamed, even for things we didn't do. I know this first hand. But when we can finally admit guilt, manage to weather through the consequences, and realize the earth didn't crumble around us because of it, we start to grow stronger and more stable. (In this process, it helps immeasurably to allow only people with a growth mindset into our life, and to put boundaries on the people who would continually castigate us. As well as put boundaries on ourselves, if we are castigating others. Sometimes this means letting people go. At first, it can be a whole other process just to sort out who's toxic toward us and who's not, and who we have been toxic toward, and whether the relationship would be best served to stick around or just let them go. Having an unstable attachment style can really cloud our vision.) It's scary to be as vulnerable as you are being. But the payoff is SO worth it!! From honesty and vulnerability comes growth, which brings genuine strength. (Not just the toxic masquerade of strength, which is untreated BPD.) Only when we acknowledge our behaviors can we regulate them. BPD is something we will always need to manage, but it becomes much easier to manage, once we've been mindfully working on it for a while. DBT group and individual counseling have helped me a lot. But that's only because I accept my diagnosis and keep putting in the work to stay regulated or get back on the right track whenever I'm starting to feel disregulated. On the topic of remorse: When BPD is comorbid with some of the more severe forms of NPD- now THAT'S when people have no remorse. Remorselessness is more of a NPD trait. NPD is on a spectrum, so some is worse than others. Severe NPD really blocks people's ability to ever admit their own bad behaviors. That's why I think Amber Heard has NPD, too. BPD in itself can be managed, if the person who has it is willing to do the work of managing it. But if they also have a more severe form of NPD (like Malignant NPD), they will never acknowledge they even have a problem. Not without ulterior motives. And even if they do slip up and admit it, they'll just deny it again later. You are so correct when you say that not everyone with BPD is the same. That is also true of people with NPD. I do see a lot of similarities between my mother And Amber Heard, though. My mother has BPD and NPD, and she acts so much like like Amber. Of course I've never met Amber, but her recordings sound SO similar to how my mother always was with my father. That particular type of NPD/BPD combo is just so very malignant, covert, social, and communal. Its sad to say that people so deeply affected who are in such deep denial like that will never stop manipulating, abusing, and blaming others. They will literally stop at nothing. I truly hope psychology will find a way to treat them, one day. They are trapped in their own personal hell. But being bound to that hell with them is not a life I would wish on anyone, because those closest to them suffer beyond measure. Anyway, thank you again for representing the fact that people CAN manage BPD. Thank you for your honesty, strength, and vulnerability. Thank you for recognizing wrong behaviors and explaining them, but not making excuses for them. It seems you're doing the thing Johnny asked Amber to do, and it's working for you! "Try being wrong sometimes. You might learn something." -Johnny Depp Johnny isn't perfect. Nor am I. But he extended opportunities to Amber to help them mend their situation and move on amicably. However, she continued to deflect responsibility and put ALL the blame on him (and then some.) Indeed, Amber deserves a chance to heal. But Amber has to be the one to make the decision to try. Sometimes, admitting our wrongs can lead to us getting right!

You putting out this video and sharing your own struggles is so utterly important , especially at a time like this in the world. I can't thank you enough for teaching us by using your lived in experiences. More mental health professionals need to start doing this. Sometimes just simply being human is all it takes to help another person. I appreciate you and your explanations. ❤️

Thank you for doing this, truly. Your input is invaluable! Having had BPD AND being a licensed mental health professional. Immaculate. Your recovery is so so inspiring!

Thank you for sharing this. It is really helpful to know that people with BPD can be helped as well as knowing how it feels from their perspective.

Saw you on legal bytes. Appreciate your honesty and openness about your bpd and past actions and experiences. Much respect. Thank you so much.

I’m not quite half way through & vowed I’d not comment until the end of the video. However, your profound honesty, bravery, self awareness & evolution compel me to comment on what a courageous & intelligent person you are! You’re a MH professional who’s tenaciously worked through their own significant issues. What a blessing you must be to your clients! Such honesty & vulnerability are so rare. It makes you so much more credible & compelling. What an incredible lady you are! This type of candor is so rare & I admire you so much for it. I can assure you, your authenticity will impact many people & change their choice of future actions. I’ve not seen your previous vids but your openness & authenticity have a new subscriber in me! The hardest thing in the world is to lay bare your vulnerabilities before others. You are one gutsy lady! 💕

This was a very helpful video. Thank you for doing this. ❤

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, educating us, and giving voice to reason. Your content, and that of others who seek to provide insight- while many only fuel hate and stigma- is immeasurably valuable.

Thanks a lot for sharing this - you are very brave! You explain it very well and understandable, especially since you have very personal insight into BPD. And I love to hear that you could get better over the years! That is amazing! That is also why I am so much looking forward to your insights on the rest of the Arcane series.

Thank you so much for this video. I and many others needed it. Those of us who have borderline and those who need to learn about borderline not just from its stigma. Thanks again. Your realness and openness (and use of swearwords) are all appreciated so much.

thank you so much for this, seriously.

Good on you for your honesty!!! My sister has BPD. It's been a horrible, dark, murky road that's still going. Your openness and transparency shows bravery and a real desire to help. From Serena and Toni. Australia 😊

🙏🏽Thank you for sharing your Truth. Thank you for your inspiring work. I am still working on myself (my mental health diagnoses) before continuing studies, &committing to helping others like me +more in the community.. which I REALLY want to do. We need *more* ppl who have both been on both sides of the fence practicing in the system. Who have been treated, truly understand treatment on a professional level~and help others. This kind of help and information is priceless. This kind of insight is incredibly unique. It's just so refreshing to see it right here. Subscribed & sharing links :)💛

Thank you for talking about the reality of bpd. Would love to see you do more videos on the topic.

Thank you for doing this, I watched the trial and the minute the psychiatrist said borderline the comments popped off in the chat. The stigma behind this personality disorder can be hurtful to our community. Definitely made me feel bad about myself but also showed me how far I’ve come. I have empathy for people like amber heard and Trisha paytas because of the lack of self awareness. Pete Davidson has BPD and is actually a positive model of someone who can be high functioning and live a semi normal life. Thank you for speaking on this.

Thank you for sharing your story. It's so good to hear that people can heal with BPD, and it gives me hope for some people in my life. I'm glad I found you through LegalBytes today!

This was really powerful for me. Thank you so much for sharing.

I have to say thank you so very much for sharing, so candidly, your story as someone who has BPD. I saw so many similarities to the symptoms you explained, with my daughter so outside of the trial, this truly gave me so many answers, empathy and somewhere to start to find hope with my daughter. Thank you! As far as the trial I think it's very clear to see what has happened with the Depp/ Heard case and I have alot of anger on many levels towards Amber... However, I think she has not been taught the tools to help her not to act the way she has. I hope that Depp gets the truth out there (which in my opinion he is) but after watching your video I also hope that Amber gets the help that she desperately needs and heals so that maybe she can be another voice for people with BPD to show that recovery is possible, it would be so incredibly powerful to the world, who has watched this trial play out if she is able to work hard, turn her life around and show everyone that there is hope.

id love if you did a video on BPD rehabilitation/how it can be treated. im starting rehab this summer that also has DBT and i know thats a hige part of ppl w BPD getting better but a lot of people dont know!

Thank you so much for so transparently sharing your experience with BPD. Just like other commentators said, I had no idea about effective BPD management and remission. This is very helpful to know!

I have BPD and your video is so informative and well presented. I relate so much to your words. When I first heard that specific recording of Amber and Johnny, that was my initial thoughts also. You are a gem! Keep being you. You're beautiful and doing amazing work ❤️

Thank you. I’m sure it was incredibly difficult to speak on this, but I just want you know what an immense impact it made. To hear someone who unabashedly confronts their past, and who recognizes both the importance and the ability to better themselves going forward, is the most empowering thing I’ve seen in quite some time. This was the definition of truth because its core was honesty and bravery ❤️

I'm very glad to see this this was exactly what I wanted to find after seeing her diagnosis

So glad I met you today, on you tube. Legalbytes. I'm not diagnosed BPD, but have the life patterns you live and describe. I feel like breathing a bit deeper and lightening up on myself after listening to you. Thank you!! 💕

I am SO IMPRESSED that you are willing to share your struggles to help others understand BPD

Wow. Just wow. This is so refreshing , so authentic, so brave , so human of you. Do you offer sessions ?

Thank you for this video. I've seen bpd tossed into so many early 2000s teen dramas with no elaboration. Haven't thought about it since the trial. Have you heard of Dr. Kirk Honda? He just did a couple reaction videos to Dr. Curry's testimony, and he specializes in bpd (The channel is Psychology in Seattle). I would love to see a conversion between two mental health professionals on bpd, especially with one who has been diagnosed and undergone treatment. Great video, just subscribed!

Thank you for you doing this❤️ I love your insight

this is unbelievably helpful with understanding how it actually feels to have BPD, thank you so much ❤️

I can only say a heartfelt thank you for this video. I postponed watching it, but you are the first person I heard voicing clearly what I have felt for so many years of my life. At 62, I stumbled upon another channel discussing it and I finally understood all the disjointed symptoms I had for most of my life. I used to joke that I don't have a fear of abandonment, but a certainty. I tried to kill myself twice in my twenties, but I too walk around daily with a desire to stop existing. The feeling of worthlessness was overwhelming for much of my life (emptiness?) Throughout the years, I would have insane outbursts. It would build up in me and I would try and suppress it for weeks, so when it finally happened, beware if you were around. Only in my fifties did I start to connect a feeling of rejection with a later outburst. Where I could, I always abandoned other people before they could abandon me. I once had a partner who said that he felt tested every moment he spent with me. Clues like this were everywhere throughout my life. The weird thing is that I am a very kind and empathic person. People who only ever saw that side of me simply would not believe me when I explained my outbursts. I had more than one person tell me that there is an inherent kindness in me unlike any other person they know. Yet I lost a job once because they told me I couldn't get along with others, although I mostly managed to control myself at work. Throughout the years, I did indeed get a lot better. Starting meditation at 40 certainly was a big turning point. Now that I finally understood how all my symptoms fit together, I feel like I am living a new life. When I desire death, I know it is just part of the disorder and not to pay attention. Having said that, as so many others, I withdrew from relationships and live a very quiet life on my own. I am so much happier this way than having to navigate difficult relationships. I have friends that I see regularly enough not to be totally isolated and where I can mostly control the sense of abandonment. I also have two sons who will not talk to me. Unfortunately, they received the brunt of my outbursts so I do not blame them. I would be so appreciative if you could do a segment on how our actions are experienced by others, to better understand where they are coming from. All I can say to anyone with these type of symptoms is to please get help as soon as possible, so you can have the possibility of healthy relationships. Thank you again. I have subscribed and am looking forward to watch the rest of your videos.

I'm totally biased against amber because I was Johnny. I was acused of abuse by my abuser, a person who had (in all likelyhood and admited to themselves) undiagnosed BPD, and as you say, I have lived this tiral. It is so similar it's scary. And I hate hearing people say well, maybe they were both abusive... f**k off. seriously. It's such a classic response from your abuser that it has it's own acronym. DARVO. "deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender". Justice for Johnny. I never got mine.

Your ability to share your own personal experiences and to offer a perspective is invaluable. Thank you. My son was suffering from PTSD and he killed himself at the age of 50. It was really hard to realize how horrible his life was within his own head. We were not informed or shared with his disorders, therefore it was such a horrible feeling on my part of guilt for not having known he was so unhappy within his life. Missing him is a daily heart break, sometimes beyond my own ability to handle. Its an awful sadness.

Thank you for reducing the stigma with mental health conditions especially BPD and sharing your experience. Very grateful.

I am so sick and tired of this 'blasting' of this disorder by professionals. The stigma will never go away at this rate.

You are an amazing example of one who has experienced, endured, taken accountability and GROWN back to self. This is the journey isn't it? Bravo 👏🏽.... For those who know must understand that our experiences CAN give us the ability to pull others out of similar darkness. Word to the Wise. The journey never ends but it does get better. Thank you for your testimony ❤

I admire and am incredibly grateful for you and what you are doing here. It is beneficial and insightful to listen to you speak about your experience with BPD. If nothing else AH's behavior has brought something extremely important, mental health, to the forefront on social media and in our society which as I am seeing here on your channel is reaching many people who will now be able to see people in our own lives through a different lens and possibly be able to take additional approaches with those close to us that may be suffering inside. Thank you so very much! I am happy you exist and our world is and will continue to become a better place with you here to help us understands things a little better. ♥

Thank you so very much for making this video. I admire your honesty and have learned more about this disorder. I have subscribed and will watch again.

Thanknyou for such an honest and indepth explanation. I'm autistic and there's the same empathy myths with that that BPD has. Some of us feel so much empathy we get overwhelmed with it. In a weird way it's good to know it's not just us of that makes sense but obviously it's be preferable if neither of the 2 groups had to deal with it. Most health conditions habe a spectrum and everyone experiences both physical and mental conditions differently. Take care and drink more water 😊

You are unbelievably brave - especially to do this right now. You are helping SO many people who are suffering right now and feeling criminalized because of this trial. I don’t have BPD, but I’ve got my own issues and appreciate your openness. I have PTSD, ADHD, generalized anxiety, and depression. I will be doing well and then, bam- the panic breathing starts, then the depression kicks in, the intrusive thoughts. It’s exhausting and I feel like such a failure, like I’m just permanently broken, and no amount of therapy or medication will ever “fix” me. What I really took away from this is that even when you still have these thoughts or feelings, you don’t have to act on them. The idea of radical acceptance really resonated with me. I can’t help it that sometimes I get triggered and feel like I can’t breathe. However, when that happens, instead of beating myself up over it, I can accept it. I can take the steps necessary to help it. Thanks for reminding me of that. I’ll try to remind myself of that the next time I get hit with another panic cycle. I think I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that there’s no magic fix, and there never will be. But you can live with it and still have a fulfilling life, experience joy- all that. Thank you!

Thank you for your honest and thoughtful commentary. My oldest daughter (24 yo) is diagnosed with BPD, and I found this video immensely helpful in trying to understand what she is going through. I can’t express the guilt I carry when I try to imagine how I may have possibly contributed to her development of BPD, but at least your video gives me so much hope for her future. 💜💜💜

You’re amazing and I’m so glad I came across your channel! Admitting to mistakes is hard! Thank you for your openness and realness!

Thank you for being brave by speaking openly about everything. I feel that I have a better insight into AH now beyond Dr Curry's analysis. I think there's always negativity/hostility/mischief lurking nearby on these platforms, so I hope you're not scared off when it arrives. Your experiences are invaluable. i wonder if you might be able to offer any thoughts on Whitney, (AH's sister who is on her witness list)? It's unclear atm whether she will take the stand, particularly because she didn't complete the deposition, but I will feel empathy for her and the backlash if she does lie again. It's documented that both she and their mother were terrified of AH.

I have cPTSD and I feel like a lot of the symptoms show up very similarly (not sure about violence). I have a question; my partner recently violated my boundaries and I'm experiencing an attachment injury. Since you have so much experience with unintentionally harming your partner, would you be willing to do a video on how to approach healing attachment injuries with people who have severe abandonment issues?

You're so brave for sharing this, and I feel very privileged to have heard you speak so openly about the disorder, thank you. X And your husband sounds like an angel.

You talk so openly and eloquently. Very interesting and gave me a real insight into BPD and a perspective on this case that has made me feel some understanding and sympathy for Amber, which I struggled to connect with before.

Your honesty and self-accountability is so commendable. Also, it’s so refreshing to hear from a therapist who actually has BPD - it’s so rare to see on UKposts (no amount of studying can help you understand what it’s like to live with this disorder if you don’t have it and so many other videos about BPD just feel so…clinical). I began therapy earlier this year and the first 3 months or so were extremely confusing - I worked with 3 different licensed therapists and it seemed as though none of them were knowledgeable about BPD at all. I was recently matched with a therapist who specializes in treating BPD and like myself, actually has both BPD & ADHD. Finally feeling understood without having to explain a single thing was almost overwhelming. The world needs more people like you. 🙏🏻

Thank you for your candour. I’m seeing immense empathy from Johnny for her condition. BPD is extremely frustrating for those living with it or around it, so, sure, JD has shown his frustration periodically.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful analysis and explanation of this case and the discussions around mental health that have sprung up because of it.

Thank you for sharing this and showing us how strong someone can come out "on the other side". I'm not sure how you feel about yourself and whether you would consider that you "fought through this" and / or if this ever "ends" for you. I hope you can find some resolve and motivation in the fact that you're acting like a beacon of hope for a lot of affected people. In other words: some of the people that are affected by these diseases will look at you and consider you an example of what they could accomplish if they get their act together or find strong coping mechanisms. Or in short: I'm glad you exist!

Thank you for sharing. I am 1 point off being diagnoses from BPD and my bf I knew for 16 years was diagnosed in 2021; also anxiety. We dated for the last 3 years and lived together. I ended up trying to leave in September and got hurt by being hit in the head multiple times and choked. We just finished Court in March. I offered him a plea deal because i understand and didnt want to fight him for the court with a felony. He was still charged with two counts of assault and battery. He has to take batters interventions classes and seek mental health treatment. He is on 4th stage cirrhosis for alcoholism because he drinks to shut off feeling "everything." I ended up being a care giver for him the past 2 years. He couldnt even get out of bed. I made the choice to leave because I couldnt watch him kill himself anymore and he was constantly meeting other women. I got to 20 other women and he would sneak other people at the house. I had enough. I have such a deep unconditional love for him still because I understand, but I can't be around him anymore for my own safety. I have a 6 year old son and it isnt fair to him. We still pray for him every night and I still cry myself to sleep because I miss him so much. He sees that I went to the hospital for the injuries and it was reported to the police. He blames me for spending one month in jail when it was supposed to be 4 years. I still helped him even though I was out of work and school for 3 weeks from the head injury. I have a cyst in my brain now from the injury. He also could have killed me by strangling me if the dog didnt bite him to let go of me. It broke my heart. I went to leave and be done and leave the house and he attacked me from behind. I started at him in his eyes and knew he was splitting. It seemed so much like MPD like the other alter came out. He wouldnt stop how much I screamed. I'm just lost. He was "uncle" to my kid. I'm a very outgoing personality and I've been a hermit since this happened. I'm scared to go out and trust people now. I know hurt people hurt people. I also know I'm still in love with him despite what he did. My therapist said I just need time. She said it's like I got a form of stockholme syndrome. I recognize that I couldnt get him to stop drinking or to stop lying. It turned so codependent and toxic. He refused to get help so I had to leave. But I lost my best friend of 16 years. I regret leaving but I realize I had no choice. I got pushed to the point of breakdown too many times. I wish he would see how the alcohol made it so much worse. He has hallucinations, seizures, and dissociation constantly. I BEGGED for years that we could see a therapist. He went to one after he put his hands on me the first time. He attended 1 session. Then gave up. He went to group therapy 3 times with me at church then gave up. I had about 3 things I felt like I couldnt get past and needed a professional to mediate what I was trying to say in a safe space. He just couldnt give me that. So all these things together and he used to joke with friends that he would have me killed if I crossed him. He still won't answer for that. I just had to leave.

I think you are very brave to talk honestly and openly about your past.

You are so brave to share your personal story so publicly, thank you for doing so to help us all understand better.

This is THE absolute best video I've ever saw on BPD. It was so informative and helpful. Thank you SO much. You just helped me tremendously to understand it all. 💗 Do you have any advice or a video for feeling ugly and envious of other women and jealousy?

I think this was very important. ESPECIALLY the part where you talked about how someone should react to someone with BPD. Knowing that setting boundaries IS the right thing to do regardless of how the person with BPD reacts is crucial knowledge . There was a time where I thought ‘well, this person is scared of abandonment , and me leaving is going to keep her in that state of mind’ … so I stayed . But all it did was “break me” or destabilize me . Honestly - I went from being extroverted, bubbly , happy, outgoing , friendly , to withdrawn and introverted due to the friendship I had with the person with BPD . I’m working on getting myself back to normal but I worry that I’ve been changed for ever .

Thanks so much for the vulnerability, and adding other perspectives in reference to this case.✨

Thank you for sharing this.

Thank you for this video!