When a narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you.

anyone else extremely creeped out by elizabeth's eyes ?

The thing I picked up on in life is that they treat strangers like friends and their closest family like enemies, even on trivial matters.

Advice to anyone dealing with a narc... don't expend any energy trying to understand them or why they say or do the things they do. It isn't logical, it will never make sense. They don't think like a human being. The don't reason like one and they have ZERO and I mean ZERO ability to accept accountability or feel remorse.

I used to be a narcissist, but now I’m perfect.

“A narcissist is the hero and victim of every story they tell” - Brian Callen.

My childhood best friend was a narcissist and I was the best man at his wedding to a woman I knew he was cheating on. I decided to completely cut him out of my life when I was 25 and I’m 44 now. I remember the first time I heard someone referred to as “toxic” and I immediately knew what they meant because I had front row seats to toxic for years and years. Just found out through my sister that he fraudulently took out a mortgage in his sister’s name and took her credit score down to the 300’s and she’s so afraid of what he’s capable of she’s super hesitant to escalate the issue. This video checked every box for that dude. He drives a Lamborghini or Ferrari from what my sister told me because he’s so obsessed with how he’s perceived. Keeping that dude as a best friend would have been awful for my life and the past 20 years have been awesome because I made so many rad friends.

Narcissists are often so likeable and such a pleasure to be around that its as if they radiate an energy that you can't help but be drawn to. They often surround themselves only with complete strangers or aquantnances because long time friends have all seen past the charisma and lies. And narcissists will not take criticism from anyone, no matter how close of a relationship they have with the person that is criticizing them.

I'm not a narcissist. I'm too perfect to have a big flaw like that

Her forced "deep" voice was really annoying to me.

It’s so funny when you’re used to this and see it very quickly. Not every narcissist is “good” at it

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

One thing I notice about narcissists: when they initially see that you have something they want they can't hide their intense jealousy.

That moment when you realize that your partner have all of these ....

It's pretty clear the people that have had a real clinical narcissist in their lives and those who confuse narcissistic actions or tendencies with a true personality disorder. Narcissism is so much more than being obsessed with yourself. I lived with a narcissist for 7 years and he nearly destroyed me emotionally. I have never met anyone like him in my entire life and I am 56 years old, I pray that I never do again. My ex was a very terrible liar and when I would question inconsistencies or things that were obviously impossible to be true he would get very angry and accuse me of interrogating him. I have been free of this monster for 8 years and I am still healing from his reign of terror in my life. I appreciate those who have taken the time and effort to inform and educate people about the monsters that are out there looking for lives to terrorize.

My exs brother gaslit me into thinking that I was a narcissist. I actually believed it. I always thought I did my best in the relationship but he convinced me I wasn't a good person. After watching this, I'm just now realising that he is the narcissist. He is very fixated on his image and compulsively lies to his wife.

“A narcissist is either the victim or the hero in every story they tell.”

I used to be a narcissist. Now I'm a self-aware narcissist, thank you

For narcissists and sociopaths, not being caught lying is the same as having told the truth.

The effortless lying thing is an interesting one. I rank fairly highly on the psychopathic scale and when I need to lie, I don't just say untruths, I 100% firmly believe what I am saying. It's like my mind can delude itself into whatever version of reality is required to tell a certain story.

She actually seems inhuman. Her eyes make me freak the hell out.

The only way to defeat a narcissist is completely cut them out of your life. It crushes them. They can't live with the fact that you want nothing to do with them. Make them dead to you

There was this girl at school who was lying a lot, and badly, but she would never admit it, no matter how obviously she was caught. She would always come up with another, more ridiculous explanation

A narc displays many of the facets of a bully. I observed many bullys at school (in the 1970's) my response was if they tried to bully me I would wipe the floor with them. Point being let them know you are aware and show no fear.

Her eyes are from the same robot company that made Zuckenberg's eyes

Holmes sounds like me when I was a 15 year old boy trying to buy alcohol.

One way of telling is when the person wraps his arms around himself and hollers; "I love you!"

I knew a guy that was a pathological liar, and an alcoholic. One thing he like to do was to go to AA events or meeting and brag about his sobriety for X amount of time, even though he had drank that day and far from being sober. There’s tons of other examples too. He’d tell people he was a veteran, a pilot, CIA agent with top secret clearance, a millionaire, or whatever lie he came up with that day.

"An honest person always looks you straight into your eyes", my dad told me. My experience is that honest people very rarely look you straight into your eyes over time. But crooks/narcissists do!

"You lie so much you believe yourself" - Metallica

Richard GRannon says the question to ask a narc in order to reveal themselves is "In what way would you improve yourself if you could?" This will cause a meltdown. 6M subscribers, well done, Charlie! Damn!

Hysterical that a video describing con men teaches a course on using those same skills to con others. Priceless…

You missed the most important part: she looks like she's trying to peel your damn skin off with her eyes

Just looking at her eyes it makes me feel uncomfortable. It's like my instincts are telling to RUN!

Wow. You explain narcissism correctly, then advertise charisma university to teach people the same skills. Bravo.

I had a problem with a narcissist who had turned my workplace into a fearful place where work colleagues whispered to each other to avoid being overheard by him. He had sued his public service workplace for things like fake injury and defamation for so long that he had effectively been paid for 18 months of no work. A work lawyer told me his legal actions had cost the department over $2M - and he was still on the payroll. After I figured out he was a vexatious litigant with a dark triad personality - obsessive, paranoid, narcissist - he tried to contact me - I simply ignored him completely and avoided any further contact.

I feel like social media is making narcissism worse and epidemic. Everybody is consumed with projecting an image of a perfect life that’s dissociated from reality instead of focusing on developing themselves.

They never listen whenever you tell them a story. They always find ways to make the conversation about them and them alone.

I’ve known narcs all my life (2000-2012). Now I gotta act like one to keep them off!

They also love to tell seemingly harmless stories where they were the hero and did a noble and amazing thing so you trust them and praise them

When you want to be the female Steve Jobs but end up being the female Mark Zuckerberg

Her cold, dead eyes are a huge giveaway. Be careful out there everyone.

I believe my ex was a narcissist. They were obsessed with image, being perceived as perfect, and constantly lied to everyone around them, including me, in order to keep their bloated sense of self secure. They lied to me even from before we started dating. They were also charming, and managed to attract all sorts of people. Once they realized they couldn’t control me, things got ugly and I got genuinely scared, my gut feeling screamed at me to get out of the place we were in and never look back. I’m not being very detailed here but it was truly one of the most awful experiences in my life. I don’t wish upon nobody that they ever cross a narcissist.

I think I work with one. It seems more and more that way. Very charming, and fun, especially at first. Says they can take any criticism and that you should tell them if you have any, but will dodge or throw back any criticism you give them. Will also retaliate in silly ways. They make me feel uncomfortable, and lie. Tries to paint others in a bad light (more recently) and always makes it sound like they're very professional (and concerned about professionalism) and good at what they do despite doing many things wrong or poorly. Lies for fun and laughs when we fall for it, tells me they're stealing things without blinking or showing any remorse. At least we're on to them, and I'm having discussions about them with certain people at my job.

She used to speak with a deep voice so that people would perceive her as being tough. Crazy.

*Literally no one:* *Elizabeth:* 👁👁 👄 I sound like a man, believe my lies!

I think it's often also about their eyes. Always wide opened and that gaze.

What’s scary is that when it’s pointed out you say “oh yeah” and it seems a lot more obvious. Whilst I can say I thought a lot of her traits were odd it’s in retrospect I can say it makes sense. As other have pointed out, things like her “stare” jump out at you but enough people believed her to overlook it.

I was raised by a narcissist...all of this rings true. Big hugs to anyone affected by narcs. They are truly horrible people.

She looks like Mark Zuckerberg wearing makeup and a big wig.

Some excellent points made here. About not giving up on lies. But rather doubling down, for instance. Experience.

The eyes are always a great indicator though. That dead gaze is an idicator to me. Not always for narciscism but for mental health issues in general. A lot of "thousand yard stares" are associated with things like severe trauma as well.

I have never seen such big lifeless eyes. My God. Creepy af

Her eyes are facing in a way that she’s always looking at you, it’s legitimately creepy.

I am what you might call a pathological liar or a semi-narcissist, and the video is spot on about the ease with which I can make up and tell lies. It's a second nature, it's so easy, since I can easily half-believe my own lies... It's terrifying and all the more hard to get rid of. I want to be better, but I catch myself lying just because, I always need to apologize and correct myself a few moments later in the conversation, because I'm just so used to it. It's horrible. Not to mention that I don't really believe other people with their words and actions, because all the world is a game of self-interest for me, so I can't really trust others. It's very tough to get out of.

Such a great video. When I was younger, it took me a while to figure people out. Now, I've got them sussed in 30 min conversation.

Dude...that fake baritone was lame as hell. Nope, not forgivable😂

Compulsive liars will practically defend their lie to the death. It’s crazy.

Thinking back on family, friends and mates: if someone is not comfortable staying home alone on a Saturday night....or shames you for doing the same (including refusing plans...) you are in for a world of hurt. Need for outer acceptance and insecurity runs rampant. They will attempt to tear you down at some point. Get Out early.

If you KNOW you're dealing with a narcissist, pay close attention to what they say, how they say things, and what you say as close to verbatim as possible. They are very good at gaslighting you to make you believe that you're misremembering things, and if you start to question yourself, it's tough to regain that control. At least in my experience, calling this person a liar was apparently the worst insult imaginable, all because I questioned a detail in her story that was brand new.

billions of dollars and she still didnt take care of that dry hair

I think ppl underestimate how many ppl are compulsive liars in everyday life...

So I had a bad period in my life where I was a compulsive liar. The reason I became that way was due to how my upbringing trained me to be. See I grew up in an abusive household so to keep peace in the house me and my siblings became good liars. Because we learned at a young age a white lie was better than the reaction the truth would give. At first it was only in the house then it moved to lying in school. Then it was a regular thing. Luckily I spent a few years breaking it and so did my siblings but when I come near my parents it’s like something just activates inside my brain or a switch was just flipped as a defensive measure. But I just have to force my self to tell the truth around them. It’s still a challenge to deal with even to today.

As a diagnosed psychopath and narcissist, this is pretty accurate. No real remorse or care for how any individual perceives you. In the short term it is actually easier to lie b/c you can be relatable to a random stranger you will never meet again. Long term it is not a successful strategy b/c you will get caught repeatedly. Happy to answer Qs about what it's like

Clicking on this video: "Cool, I'm going to learn how to spot a narcissist." After watching: "Am I a narcissist?"

Anyone else feel on edge even when telling the truth? Mainly out of fear of not being believed I think.

I do like this very direct and concise definition of NPD that I heard from Jordan Peterson: "Narcissism is the inordinate desire for unearned social status." When you see that definition all of the pathology and odd decisions that they make suddenly make a lot of sense.

People skills and confidence attracts people because you make them feel sure about you when you are sure about yourself and you show that you’re making an effort which is the secret to it all just making an effort. You’re able to see beyond yourself

Having spent a couple of years living with a real manipulator, and having worked with a narcissist for even longer, I suspect that one of the reasons their lies can be so convincing is that they BELIEVE those lies themselves - so in their minds, they're actually telling you the truth.

There is *nothing* more tiring than being in the presence of a narcissist.

I found out that my ex-boss was a liar, and just watched her closely when she’s lying. It was effortless to her. Amazing…

Working with a narcissist is a stinkin nightmare! I’m glad that chapter is over!

A lot of narcissists begin by tearing their victims down, and making them feel like they are wrong or can’t trust their opinions and instincts. They prey on kind people.

I have known two narcissists. I can now spot them a mile away. One thing I have noticed, is they can also be the most charming and charismatic people going. You really need to be on full alert around them and never switch off. Its like being in the jungle and sleeping with one eye open. I have to admit I do find them quite fascinating the way they think and manipulate people. Also never think you can change them. You won't, just get them out of your life..and quick.

i'm more off put by someone who is so comfortable saying anything with such silk smooth words.

I had a friend who is a pthaological liar, and after I started calling him out on his bs, and confronting him with it, he would try, and I would tell him then I'll go home, he would admit. Eventually I'd told him I don't want to hang out with him anymore cause I can't believe a dang word he says anymore. He simply agreed and said he understands. I was still young back then, and now when I think of it, it's kind of sad actually.

I have suffered narcissistic abuse since I was young and didnt realize what it was till I was older. Recovering from that sort of trauma and abuse is very difficult.

You can tell just looking at her eyes, something is off. Borderline crazy.

Watching this to hide my narcissism better

Narcissists do not lack feelings of guilt or shame, they have it so intensely that they need to cover it up or deny it constantly. They tend to lack empathy, not emotions altogether. I think you are getting narcissists mixed up with psychopaths and sociopaths in some of your explanations of traits. Their toxic guilt and shame are something they are constantly trying to hide and run from , which is why they resort to what they do.

The best way to deal with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath is to stop communicating with them.

It’s their high energy and pure confidence that tricks people

Great video - well done.

I was talking to this man once and his eyes turned black and immediately got creeped out and than his eyes went back to normal. It was like he went into a dark place than came out of it. I never saw that in my life and I was like … stay away from this man. It still freaks me out.

"you're probably going to encounter some of them [narcissists] in your life" *rolls eyes and sighs* ...yeah... too late

Oh my God her slipping in and out of baritone was goddamn terrifying.

Like everything there are levels of narcissism. You have to ask yourself what is worse? A narcissist who knows that they are lying, or one that doesn't?

I’ve learned enough about this topic from your video to sense the BS in the ad at the end

Those eyes gave me a panic attack

I've dated a narcissist and they absolutely need everything to be about them and will degrade you and gaslight you if you show any sign of weakness, they'll then blame you for everything and take your mistakes and use them against you. They lie a lot and will do anything to maintain their ego, they absolutely love complements and praising because it boosts their ego even more.

I’ve always had a gift for quickly sensing and identifying NPD monsters. Sadly, my dad married one. Sweetest guy on the planet, the dude everyone universally loved, she easily manipulated him into everything she wanted including busting up my family for her own personal gain. Close to four decades later, she still has him wrapped around her finger, in a position of despising me - and pretty much everyone else in my massive extended family - at every turn, just because she very early on learned that I, and we collectively, will not be controlled or affected by her rampant narcissism. So she instead slowly turned him against everyone who actually truly loved the man, by eroding his confidence in them since he was so easily malleable to her. NPDs are monsters, there’s no nice way of describing them. Sound like any other orange monster you know of?

Recovering from being groomed by a narcissistic boss. They subtly manipulated my normal desire to succeed and perform at my role to pressure me into making questionable choices. Others on the team picked up quicker but eventually I was able to open my eyes. And then the facade dropped and it was shocking how much the pathological lying ramped up. In a way, I’m grateful this happened so I’m never as trusting and alert to warning signs. Glad to see the execs slowly come to the same conclusion, so that person eventually had to “resign”. Phew!

When my ex girlfriend realised she couldn't control me, she would say bad things about me behind my back to her friends and family. She did me a favour when she left.

She looks like a female Mark Zuckerberg

Its almost hard to believe that someone could continue to lie to you even if you've provided empirical proof of their lies. But these people have constructed a false reality where they are the main star and if confronted about their lies they will gaslight you to the end of time, or play the victim, or blameshift, or give you the silent treatment, or a combination of all.

I've known a lot of narcissists & people with dark triad traits, I attract them with my particular neurodivergence & am not turned off to them due to that ND. Pretty accurate video. To a real narcissist, the truth and a lie are the same thing. They don't have a consistent self image & they often have gaps in memory, so lying is how they cover for that. A young narcissist will probably assume everyone else is also lying and I've heard several say they think or thought (before diagnosis) that empathy was completely made up & people were just lying about it. They vary in experience & capacity for empathy. Being an empathetic narcissist is not necessarily positive whatsoever, they use their understanding of emotion to hurt people more effectively & it definitely helps mask their harmful traits.

The first ten minutes of this video taught me to be skeptical of the last two minutes.

Ego is the most important entity in a narcissists life. Walking away and being ghosted is the most devastating thing a narcissist can experience. They never get over it. Do not suffer a narcissist. Move on with your life. Life is to be enjoyed, not suffered unnecessarily.

I met a true narcissist I believe and one of the reasons she could lie so believably is that she really believed her lies (I think) to the point that she wasn't 'lying' --her view of reality was always skewed and she'd misremember events so that she was the victim and someone had wronged her --she really believed what she was saying and what happened when you'd try to call her out on it-it would only escalate and make things worse. It was easier to say 'no you're right." she'd also have a 'henchman' that was completely under her control who would 'witness' her reality and message me separately that I was the one misremembering. Scary stuff. But anyway making the distinction that she probably wasn't consciously lying. .. she just interpreted reality differently (falsely).

if narcissism is in fact, a disorder that implies that it’s something that’s beyond their control, and that they could claim that as a defence if they were found to be criminally liable