😂 sad however true

I WAS ONCE MARRIED TO THIS TYPE OF PERSON DECADES AGO. DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT NPD. LEFT WITH 3 CHILDREN, HOME SIGNED AWAY BEHIND MY BACK FOR HIS BUSINESS VENTURE. SO I WAS LEFT WITH 3 CHILDREN, NO HOME, NO CAR, NO HELP, FAMILY OF ORIGIN SAME THING. BUT I REALLY BELIEVE THAT A M.NARCISSIST IS A MENTAL ISSUE, SOMETHING DOESNT CONNECT LIKE IT WOULD IN ANOTHER PERSON. TAKES A HUGH TOLL IN ONES HEALTH. THANKS FOR THIS INFORMATION.SO HELPFUL.

They are sneaky, cruel, users, judgmental, liars, demanding, un-empathic, threatening, angry, If their love bombing if isn’t accepted they turn on a dime in an instant with complete anger and cruelty and they make you feel guilty for not accepting the fake bull crap.

It is true...my dad said I'm not investing in you for nothing...that statement actually helped me to be better to get the hell away from him...love you daddy but I got ta go😐

He used Meee

I am truly trying to get rid...but after 49yrs of marriage...of violence and mental abuse it is very difficult .

@@yvonnethomas6401 , I don't know what area you are in,but I would be happy to help you. I went to a shelter and it was the best decision I made. It's scary,but let's be honest,so is where you are. Trust me the shelter will seem a lot less scary. Look what you have lived through. Please give it a try. You are worthy of so much more.

Zero tolerance for narcissism means you have actually grown up. That is to say, emotionally mature.

The trick is to give them zero supply and a neutral situation with no fuel, watch them repeat same old fishing and your not take the bait. Gradually they will look for a new supply, be aware they will circle back for another go.

How did they ever get that way????

True

almost every politician in the world. and most doctors too.

Oh yeah, believing it

@@jesusislukeskywalker4294 bit harsh on doctors but politicians yes - it's a basic qualification

My ex is a shopplifter, constantly criticle, talks about himself all the time.

Yes! I'm there now.

I thank God for protecting my life when married to a malignant narcissist. And for the healing of my mind and spirit as I work through Dr C’s teaching. 🙏🏻

@@shari247peace , I'm sorry you went through this too. I was married to one for 33 years. 11 months no contact! Doc C has helped me immensely too! I Thank Almighty GOD for pulling me out of the pit of hell.. May GOD keep Blessing you with real love, healing, joy and safety in Jesus Mighty name I pray! The Lord is a GOD Of Vengeance and Justice ; Blessed are those who wait for HIM! Amen!

Yes, there are. And they are skilled at manipulating others into thinking you are the evil one if you dare to figure them out. My sister is this, and my brother and I have cut off all contact with her in order to protect ourselves. It is true - the safest thing to do is to stay away from them. You cannot win because they will not let anything go.

Why do they get worse not better

@@umunasra2382, because they're lost souls, unredeemed by Jesus.

@@bobtaylor170 And they won't generally repent and give their hearts to God. Because they never want to admit their shortcomings. It's because they think it make them feel weak or what have you.

@@Steveo5541 ppp

They do change in my experience very slightly, but I’m my mothers case circled same point like a pony on a leading rein, the length will vary but point immobile. Predictable patterns

gosh...i can empathize...best wishes...

Sharon johnson so happy you’re healthy again. I’ve gone no contact with my malignant narcissist mother and sister, so I wouldn’t know if they die. Oh well.

@2012endofanerror The other day I swear I heard her call my name. Obviously no one was there. It was just her voice, saying my name. I was wide awake and up. I didn't freak out. On a different note, I am seeing a therapist now. Clearly something is still stuck in my psyche

When friends talk about how much they miss their mothers... I'm honestly baffled. My mother was a malignant narcissist, died 6 years ago. Being free of her is glorious.

Sharon johnson : I had to do the same with both of my malignant narcissist parents who have passed, too...stepped out with no contact and have been so much better now. My 6 younger sibs are the same type and I have severed all contact with them...it's healthier for me for sure; however, unfortunate.

Old comment, but the feeling I got was a fly caught in a web. Very unnerving.

Smooth indeed. Highly insecure and paranoid; defensive and delusional!

They change their mind a lot. Dr. C

@@SurvivingNarcissism please Turkish translator

Nancy Suver same here. Exactly why Thankfully they are Ex’s husbands.

At friend said to me once: "You can't figure out cray-cray." 😆

Glad to hear you are out.

So true. Once insane its only danger and harm. Run!

Nancy Suver Word

Midnight train to Georgia hang in there!!! 🤗

I agree - the lines have become so blurred in this day and age. These vids help me distinguish between the healthy and unhealthy forms of confidence.

Be strong! Is very hard but you get up! I still have it difficult myself, sometimes I find myself ruminating about it, that narcissistic sisters like she is still in my head!! And I hard to take her out, mainly because she dishonored me at my family and I was left unspoken 😓

David Big hopefully you never have to have a breakdown...

@@Iulia958 except to God, who always hears your spoken word. Have no fear.

My ex went to the bar a lot. I figured there was flirting, maybe a bit of making out, & when I badgered enuff, he really opened up. He spared no detail, told me places, positions, everything. It was far worse than I thought. I was so humiliated, crying my face off at this admitted string of betrayals & I looked up for a second to see him... Smiling! He destroyed me & he loved watching my devastation! It was like manna for his dirty, shitty soul.

Miss Cyanic you are describing the difference between sociopathy and psychopathy: the sociopath doesn't care if they hurt you (they won't go out of their way to not hurt you); the psychopath _does_ care if they hurt you (they want to hurt you and will go out of their way to hurt you.) The one has no regard for other's feelings. The other _does_ have regard for other's feelings: they want to hurt. Both are demons. But Jesus described some devils as being "more wicked" than others. This topic is gnarly. I live in a family filled with these "people."

there is an epidemic of it

I agree. I was really surprised that he didn’t touch on more of the sadism element to malignant narcissism in this video. The smirk. The stare. (If you’ve seen these, you know exactly what I’m talking about because it’s impossible to forget.) The laughing and smiling when they see you in pain - whether it’s physical or emotional. The malignant narc who was in my life even went out of his way to tell me that he enjoys hearing the sound of women in pain before hitting me upside the head so hard that I saw stars. The sadism aspect of their personality is one of the most dangerous components to their disorder and shouldn’t be understated. Still a great video though. All of his videos have helped so much in my healing.

I have experienced this enjoyment of inflicting on others myself. To a normal person it is hard to really accept this fact...to the detriment of all who come in contact with them. I have finally done the only thing a healthy person can. Cut off all contact!!

chinookvalley a leopard never changes their spots. Doesn’t mean we can’t admire them from afar. It means we can’t lay down and cuddle up to them. I think of malignant narcissists like alligator. They fascinate me but I have a healthy fear of getting too close.

I don't see any workshops to help a narcissist? Are they throwaways?

Christina Steltz, your comment brings to mind the inscription on the C.I.A. building in Langley, VA: "WHAT IS PAST, IS PROLOGUE".

@@jefribalderson6990 I believe they are demonically possessed so NO!

Jefri Balderson, it depends on the individual...i believe sociopaths could change but just like anyone else they have to see the problem in themselves and want to fix it. Psychopaths are born with no empathy...their brain just doesn’t have the ability to feel another’s pain...most of them actually get an adrenaline rush when they know they hurt someone. In my opinion it’s best to stay away from dangerous people.

Unfortunately, that can also happen to their non-narcissist victims.

You couldn't be more correct - the zeitgeist encourages greedy behavior.

As a woman it is so damaging and painful to have a narcissist for a mom. It's like we are bonded in sisterhood in the worst kind of club that we didnt choose. Lol. I want you to remember that you are worthy of love and respect respect you are enough! Sending you love and light and all the best in life!

"attacked for not fighting back" sounds like my mom. Damned if you do and damned if you don't

My mother also to a T. Thank goodness for the knowledge to deal with the damage and finally recover and thrive.

Choose Jesus😇

@@battle-angel2027 Agreed. I already have.

christar 95 im 100% sure you're not a woman but a incel that's trying to start a hateful discussion about our gender.

That's why I don't watch TV, regular TV. I basically watch old shows online or channels I that only air vintage shows.

TV is garbage. I've taught my kiddos the importance of music and art and being in nature and nurturing relationships. We are picky about what we watch as well. When we do watch TV and movies I use it as an opportunity to teach them lessons about the behaviors and situations in the plot. They can learn a lot that way so it's it's win/win. Lol. Love and Light to you all!

Haha tell me about it. I moved away from all of them

Yeah...i get ya🙄😤

I hear you. My mom is this, pop is a sociopath, siblings just more standard narcissistic/predator bully I think however.

I want you all to know that you are enough and you all are deserving of love and respect. I wish you folks all good things in life! Love and light❤

Thank you.

It's the feeding of a hungry ego, that is never satisfied.

@@projectmcsquare2149 Yes, indeed. When you listen to others describe someone as so charming, wonderful, and kind,... ( a couple of former friends in this instance)… and you have to just stand there silently listening to the accolades, knowing full well they have no clue what these people were truly like. The image verses the actual content of these people, aka malignant narcissists. Narcissists are usually quite charming for surface level connections. Hence, what you experienced ProjectMc Square,... the real truth sits quietly. Going to a funeral of a narcissist, and watching as they are eulogized, I sit there thinking, I wonder how many of these people in the church are knotted up in their stomachs having to sit through a false aggrandizing narrative of a life that left terrible scars on too many people. If a lot of eulogies were actually honest... I wonder how many eulogies would be quite different from what we usually hear? Either way, even narcissists will have a "life review" on the other side, or so we hope.

ProjectMc Square Ditto here... and it continues. But my mind is so clear now having all this wealth of knowledge graciously provided by @Dr. Carter Be safe. @ProjectMc Square

@@SRS4859 That would gag me having to listen to the aggrandizement. I heard enough of that from his doting daughter while he was with me.

With you in spirit rodee . I get it and I'm living it too.

@@sherrim4067 It's good to know I'm not alone in this hell but it's sad that there is a "this hell". :-(

I'm doing time, I say nowadays. It's not just you.

@@malinkywoos that's exactly what it feels like. Good way to put it. Harsh warden vibe for sure.

Rodee, don't give it much power over you. Find good moments every day of your own making. A cup of hot chocolate, a snuggle with your cat or dog,.a flower pot of growing flowers. See beauty everyday, that's what helps get me through. I also started walking/ running. It's a great stress buster, and for 20 minutes I am free with just my feet and the sky , a taste of childhood wonder. He can't take everything, you got a heartbeat you got a chance to survive it, until you are ready to leave.

HOLY SHIT! CRAZY! SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE! Mannn... She sounds like she operates like satan... Trying to keep track of peoples every move, studying people to find one weak spot to use against them to humiliate and shame them or blackmail them and get them between a rock and a hard place. YEAH, I might even invest in a security camera with someone like that.

That's absolutely terrible I am so sorry. I hope you are ok.

How utterly sad

My N family is doing this to me.

g. jongi this is what Iam going through now. He has been neating me, and now je is using tool from tue tool box. He trying to distroy me againg. But since I been learnibg about him I have began to become stronger and stronger. But where I thought it couldnt get any worse, IT DID!. Monsters are real, and there not under the bed....there in it waiting for you to go to sleep so they can violate your belongings, personal stach's and you!

g. jongi and ULTIMATELY Throw you out like garbage barely even able to fenn for you self and then to add insult to injury. Then have the evilness enough to say::: Sorry for ur luck!!!!! An turn an walk away from u when u cant even pull youself up off the ground. And the only thing I tried to do is love him amd the more and harder I loved and tried... The more and harder he would hurt me an hate me.i dont understand. Hes all i got . but. The sad reality of it iss... I never had him at all

And keep a very close eye on your pets. I wouldn't ever leave my dogs alone with him for 5 minutes.

@Chris A. Medina I'm sorry to hear that but happy it hopefully turned out ok. Yeah. You can't trust them. They'll do whatever they want to do just because they feel so entitled. Thing is, they never think about the outcome or the effect their behavior has on your pet because they just don't care. The other thing I think is these monsters enjoy making us suffer. So, this @$$hole would intentionally harm my little dogs simply because he would get pleasure knowing he did something that hurt me. Yep. It's a very sick way to live but that's the way they operate.

@Chris A. Medina Well, I had this one pegged as a covert narc but as I looked further into it, he's a malignant covert narc. I actually stopped speaking to him months ago over his treatment of his animals. Can't do anything about it because he turns into a 2 year old girl and flies into a narc rage that lasts for days. I've found great homes for them and he won't let them go. Makes me furious. Yep. He has a couple of cats that are morbidly obese just like the poor squirrel. My little guys don't leave my sight and when I do have to leave them to go shopping, they're behind a locked door. Never leave them more than a couple of hours. Strange. I can see her rocking, smoking, and chuckling under her breath at you. So often this one reminds me of Gollum. Good luck to you and Durango. We're actually leaving here in the next few months. Haven't told anyone, It will be a silent exit and all these animals are leaving with us.

@Chris A. Medina Yes. Collecting flying monkeys. They lie, are sneaky, really don't have any personality of their own so they mirror whoever is in their favor at the moment. This one has endless musical instruments, woodworking tools, guns, yoga equipment, artist's painting supplies, endless amounts of stuff he doesn't know how to use but bought it because someone else had it. Anyway, this has been a real eye opening education trying to deal with this level of mental illness on a daily basis. There's another thread of similarly here because dementia is also an issue in this situation, just like yours. Another reason why I stay away. I assume I'm eventually going to be blamed for something. Dr. Ramini, also on YT, recently did a series where she broke down each type of narccisim and explained them in greater detail. She did a 3 part series on the covert narc. She really knows her stuff. ukposts.info/have/v-deo/pX53fYdrbWOkjnU.html Yes. Silent exit is absolutely necessary. Here there will be all kinds of problems if I announce it. It isn't that he likes or cares for me, he's afraid if being alone and he's out if options. SO, one day in a couple of months, when he's off on another day long play date, we'll pack up and slip away. Can't wait!😀 Sure. Call, text, cry, beg, plead, rage on, threaten suicide, get blind drunk, do whatever. We're going 1500+ miles away! Good luck with your situation. I didn't mean rocking, smoking, and laughing. I should have said rocking, smoking, and smirking that evil smirk you see when the mask slips.

who else would want the job?

Like our president.....

@@jcsrst And our previous president.

@@jcsrst and he so blatant about it, that I’m appalled and disgusted that so many fall for it and damn near (or sometimes actually) deify him. Wtf is going on in their head that they admire him?

💖💗💕

Yes spread awareness

Laura Arnason: It's too bad this wasn't a available to us back in the day. But NOW it is! and I'm sure you are embracing it as much as I.

It is wonderful! Agreed 100%!!

Yup ,, I wish I could of done that years ago ,,

Amen! We share stories I’m sure...

I'm going through the stealing sister right now, but narc mom is still alive and of course sister has a hold of some sort over her. Fortunately I have print and photo evidence so that the community will know the truth and I'm no longer covering up this ghastly family. Once you show people the truth and see how horrified they are, you feel better. So happy for you that you got away.

@@Chahlie :Thank you for your response . You've no idea that for the past 5 years , I was thinking that for some reason , no one else has gone through this sort of travesty but , one by one , I'm learning that I'm NOT the only one that this awful thing has happened to ... Sincere thanks and keep up the good work ! :))

yes they will lie to everyone you know to make you look the victimizer and them the victim - and they are very good at it too.

Very similar situation: Step daughter tried to eliminate me by any means necessary from the family hierarchy of the Inheritance of her Father's Estate. She deployed an extreme smear campaign (As a result of her lies and harassment, I was in the hospital 5 x, etc..); she and husband broke into the house while I was at work to steal papers and look for money, etc...; nearly ran me over with her vehicle on purpose, told people/ authorities/ medical personnel, police, etc., that I would "shove her father down the stairs"; I would steal her father's collection - while she was actually the thief; lied to the police about me - tried to get me in legal trouble - tried to have me commit suicide since I was under so much pressure... She eventually walked away with most of her father's Estate, through corrupt legal maneuvering, etc. She was extremely fortunate as to how things turned out for her, bc she, her corrupt attorney, husband, and family members sided with her. I cut off my former son, who sided with her - after all - it's all about the bribing she gave out, when she found it necessary - it was merely an "investment" to her.

Narcissim is all about an image= illusion = fake self= ego, and all means of wanting more : more of everything, more money ,more connections, more desires and more! This is how business operates overall in a simple way and thats why narc usually have higher positions in “work places” because of the whole thing of ego and the fake image ..after all marketing & ads with creating strong brands, image .. all plays a role in the survival of those companies , again “an image” which basically is the ego and the ego is how narcs operates !, go read Eckhadt Tolle books, “the power of now “ and “ a new earth” it explain the whole concept in details and simple way that you feel peace when reading it , thats how i felt at least

Exactly!

@rj zander Dude- I've gone down the deep Illuminati rabbit hole, but not all Jews are Khazarian death cultists who seek to rule all the world. In fact, some of my good friends are Jewish- some actively practicing, some not. And one of my friends is incidentally 2/3 ethnically Jewish (his mother is half, so he can claim), but, his family is NOT- his family is of the Latter-Day Christians, like mine. Spare me the Jewish Question. I'm aware of it, but I rather give zero fucks about it.

Irish kelly Putting rj zander down for his comment is just as bad as the comment. Just ignore it and move on.

N Silva, Just ignore this person. You're just as bad if not worse with your negative comment.

Daro S Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!

They also "drain your energy" as well as "waste your time" with their mind game playing tactics to get their way. They'll openly smear you in public places or where others will hear & make it appear as though "you're the problem," & they do this with a smirk or a smile,as if they're happy to make you hurt & feel miserable as they make you look bad or crazy. They'll push you to the limit,then act as if nothing happened at all. No empathy nor any remorse is displayed at all,none,zilch. Only "emptiness along with emotionless" are shown towards you & I truly believe that this is from their twisted hearts. Why else would anyone play such head games with a smile? 😑

Leeanne Newman exactly 🙌🙌 They have no soul.

not "evil"...just sadly broken. Not "soulless"...just unable to care about anything but their own tiny, dar k worlds . It's sad really.

@@thekatt... yes. Very true.

Viola Gentsch that’s because not all of them are

Mine force sexual contact and slapped me saying that it was a sexual game and that I enjoyed it even when I scream for him to STOP as I CRIED! He was a monster!

Mnogojazyk that’s what I did. I had been planning my safe exit for several months & when he started threatening me with his lips tight & his teeth clinched, I got up, left & about an hour & a half later he was being removed by the police. Unfortunately he was waiting for me in my backyard when I got home. Had I not been paying attention to my surroundings & been on the phone with my nephew, he would have put me in the hospital or carried out his threat of killing me.

@@sherrieadams7531, it sounds like he's out of your life now. I have suffered through my share of authoritarians and only a few narcissists. I have learned that the only way to handle them is to flee even if it's hardly at a moment's notice. (I distinguish authoritarianism from narcissism even though there is considerable overlap.) Thanks for sharing.

I had to develop one on-the-spot and to use it. Now, the narc complains that I don't talk to them - well, yeeeeaaaah !! Why should I want to? It goes against my religious beliefs to be this way but there's no rational way of dealing with this person. This person has alienated nearly everyone, especially neighbors. But, this narc is crafty enough to nurture those family members who they need and use for their emotional supply.

rick, Ugh! It goes against my nature to behave that way, also. I wish I didn’t have to, but not everyone’s wishes come true.

Mnogojazyk I’ve done more 2 hour moves than I care to bcuz of toxic situations. Generally if your gonna do a 2 hour move, you need a moving truck, a buttload of people who don’t know your hubby & when he leaves to work, you get everything you can put in 2 hours & whatever is left can stay bcuz that can be replaced...you can’t. It’s also important to have

That is true. Sometimes you just go along to get along and then you lose your soul. I want to know what to do about the attacks.

Veloser Raptures do...

@@Babu-kr3cr same if you learn anything let me know. I'm considering secretly recording everything my narc says, or talk to them like they talk to me ( since they are very insecure it must hurt them a lot)

Sara Livermore They accuse you of being over-sensitive and histrionic when you get enraged at their disrespectful treatment of you. Or tell you to just get over it.

Yup. I had to stay with my mother in law for a few weeks and she tried to control every aspect of my life (clothes, religion, NAME, the people I could/couldn't talk to, if/when I could go outside, she picked out languages for me up learn etc etc) but I ignored most of these and she gave my husband a headache for it (don't worry he's not insane so he didn't agree with her actions). She'd throw massive tantrums every day about how bad I somehow was? She'd try to stick her flying monkeys on me and everything. She tried for months. We moved abroad and during our visits to the UK (where we are from), she would act shocked and angry at the fact that I would refuse to go to her house and she'd say I'm so bad for holding grudges and I have nothing to be upset about😂. Yeah the woman is on another planet.

His demeanor is wonderful, I just adore him.

@3rrlia Thank you - now if we could just get in a spray, right!? ;)

He also has a dog! You know a person is good when they love a dog.

@@tinaingram8873 Not necessarily. There are narcissitic dog owners. Hitler had a GS. My narc husband treated his dog better than anyonelse.

KARIN WIECHMANN I agree my spouse gives his cat 100% times attention zero to me. It’s so odd to see after almost 30 yrs. I hope u r safe.

That may be the making of some narcissists - indeed, I know one that is exactly as you describe - but not all. My father's mother died when he was five, his own father beat him and also farmed him out to other family members who treated him badly. There is more than one route to narcissism and more than one type. None of it is an excuse to treat your own daughter badly, though, or anyone else for that matter.

Omg, I would hear that too. Such short sighted views they have. I had a surgical procedure and during my discharge papers with the nurse, my narc was on the phone with sales calls and customers. The nurse was so annoyed she asked me if there was anyone else who could take me home. Because he couldn't be bothered to take the 3 minutes to listen to her instructions. At the time, I laughed it off, I'm not laughing now, she saw what I didn't and it never got any better after that.

@@sherrim4067 Mine is completely oblivious to the looks he gets from other people when he behaves similarly. When our teenage daughter was in the hospital with a serious illness, my husband sat in her room and worked on his laptop- completely ignoring her and everyone else.I found out later that the doctors were pissed at him for being so selfish and not interacting with her as a caring parent would. I was so embarrassed, but he thought his behavior was fine. He always says that if someone has a problem with him that they will tell him, and if they say nothing, that means they have no issue with him. I don't know why he thinks that- people typically avoid confrontation.

Lol, mine used to say, Let me instruct you in the right way. Beating the crap outta me was "instruction"

@@janebeville7446 That's just awful. I'm sorry you had that experience.

@@Nancy-yw1rr I divorced him 26 years ago. I married a wonderful man who treats me well . It took me a long time to get used to being treated well. It's like I had PTSD!.

Dr. Carter: (spoiler alert: long post) YOU SAVED MY LIFE. The malignant narc you described is my mother. She lives with me because she's blind and no one wanted her. Now I know why. At age 24 I moved out of her house and had vowed that I would never live with her again. Hell I moved clear across the equator from S. America to N. America. At age 13 I concluded that she was my step mother because mothers dont treat their daughters/ children the way she did me..but alas she IS my birth mom. I had never heard of narcissism. No knowing what I didnt know, moved her in with me six years ago and she dug in. I remember after about six months I felt a sense of what Ill describe as dread: A terrible feeling I had all through childhood. I still didnt know what I was dealing with. She completely stripped me of my confidence. You may present her as your textbook example in your lecture. Feeling completely lost in January of 2019 I laid in bed and considered suicide. Thankfully I recognized it as a "new low" and reached out to my girlfriend who sebt me a song of inspiration on UKposts while she raced out of church. When the song she sent ended I started praying. During this time YOUR video loaded and started playing signs youre dealing with a narcissist. I was only half listening until i realized that you were describing ALL the terror I was experiencing. I binged. It was like a light bulb went off and a rose of life was handed to me strengthing my will to live. I have not looked back. We often have the misguided perception that old people are "sweet" she has often been described that way" but she is a chameleon on a devilish scale. Through your videos I have come to understand that I am an empath and why I have contempt for her. I have been her supply. I have regained some footing in my home and life. I am trying to get her out of my home. She has destroyed the dymanic of my home, turning it into a shell. Let me just tell you getting rid of a 78 yr old she devil is no easy feat!!!! Thank you. These videos saved my life. PS. I was seeing a counselor before I learned about narcissistic behaviour but I wasnt getting the help I needed so I stopped. Now I realize that my therapist just couldn't identify that I was suffering severe narc abuse. I have suffered this abuse pretty much my whole life with the exception of the 16 yr break between ages 24 and 40. I wish I had never moved her in. But I just didnt know and silly me wanted her to be well and enjoy her oler years. Yeah Ioved the devil in.

Triss Grant Seems so many little old ladies are demons in disguise. My mother in law is a good example. She talks about God but certainly doesn’t know God at all. It’s all an act. She fools people but I have seen the truth about her.

I did the same thing and I love myself

@@lorrainecastle8501 the best love there is! stay blessed love!

I'm still forced to live with a malignant narcissist. After a decade of hurt I want to do something back. When you say you play the narc roll back to him, are you just as mean to him as he is to you? I have realized that in essence my Narc is very weak, I could easily hurt her and make her feel how she made me feel. However, I am afraid that she will escalate, get legal or smears my name (its my sister) How did you play the narc role back? help me understand so I can arm myself please

So glad you finally got a way darling so happy for you, best of luck to you. 😘

Peace and many blessings 🕉🦋🌹🐝🌻

Yes they do! My ex cheated constantly, was always accusing me of cheating

jealousy is the fuel for the fire of malignant narcissism

Yup! And ALL of it stemming from Very Low actual Self Esteem. For all their Loud trash talking and Fake-ass Bravado,... Narcs are FULL of Frigging Insecurities!!! That's also WHY they tend to Project so much Crap onto others!! It's an attempt at Deflecting Blame. Period. They are toooo Twisted for me to ever want to try and deal with......Much less to try and Figure Out!! Shoooo, go 'way, all you annoying fuck-tard Narcs!!!😁)

Gwendolyn Wehage I completely agree that they can’t trust others because they can’t trust them selves the point one finger and three are pointing back at them

grimpr yes i fully agree.

Better get prepared now. Get out now or brace for impact.

Im there with you

Im out..day 4

@@kathleenstout5102 So happy for you!!

Thank you Stella M

Hey

My Mother also was like this and to this day would go after me if I had not gone NO Contact 40 years ago. She caused my brother to have a stroke from the stress and now he is also NC. I also do not get close to people, I am nice and outgoing..to a point, but never do I get deeply involved. You hit the nail on the head about money and power...there are too many people like her in the world and I agree--stay clear of them.

J Lee I always think it’s to late for me now ... after all these years .... I can remember saying ... I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired ....because no one would believe me ... she would talk bad about me to friends of hers ....she turned my father on me ...sickening ... I’m now left caring for him .. out of respect only ... My grandmother always told me .. Do what is right in your heart and you’ll sleep good at night .... So that’s what I do now...

Carver Engraver I can empathize and relate. Luckily for me my mom gave me medical power of attorney and, when she died, her psychiatrist told me what was really going on and opened my eyes to my own worth and positive uniqueness. The therapist was stunned that I never “saw” her and thought that she was normal!! I can now understand how that happens. If they’re diligent and smart they can twist reality. So many lies, so much fear under the surface. But as much as I know the behind the scenes I do not grieve her. I’m glad to close that chapter and live.

A dead narcissist is a good narcissist.😂

I think this ability to deceive has been what got in my wayinh seeing I'm dealing with this. They're so slick and cunning, and can turn on the charm and fake empathy so we'll. Can hide the narcissism like a covert narcissist too. They are terrifying people.

Mindy Adkins yeh isn’t it incredible..: they really believe that of themselves!

Mine said he's the chosen one and one day we will all follow him. 😆

DELUSIONAL.

My nephew often shouts out: "I am the BEST"! This is what you might hear from a toddler in a Superman cape--not a 40 year old. He grew up at my narc mother's knee and I believe he got the genes for it too.

Safety first when it comes to narcissists! They can be explosive and unpredictable.

Carolyn, Get in touch with Focus on the Family and their counseling. They are aware of narcissism and have counselors and programs that can help those affected and afflicted.

@@lauracoussens6207 Thank you. I wasn't aware of their counseling outreach. I will contact them.

Carolyn Christy I am so sorry to hear that you were cornered. I was too, now I am a therapist and I get to help others of us who got “suckered”. I hope you find a professional like me who can help you navigate your way through to your joy. Don’t give up on getting help.

Carolyn Christy, you're absolutely right about the alienation. I'm crushed by how quickly my exwife turned our daughters against me. She's completely unconcerned about the mental well-being as long as she knows she's hurting me. Stay strong guy's and God bless

NaomiSlife all psychopaths are narcissistic

i'd say he was both! that is, if a distinction can be made from one to the other?

@@user-qr7eb1sf3l Yeah, but all psychopaths are narcissistic. The narcissism in this case is just a symptom of the psychopathy. That's why OP said it's hard to distinguish the two, because in the end malignant narcissism in both cases.

Same thing

maglinant narcissists still feel hightened tension, stress and emotion. Psychopaths are just cold, reasoning and composed.

So pleased! I'll look into your channel. Dr. C

Powerful insight!!! So glad I'm subscribed to his channel. Growing all the time.

I cannot thank every doctor & professor or a specialist on this platform enough for their help & teachings that show us the light in our dark lives, living with narcissists is like living in a dark place filled with fog. Thank u all so much for shedding light on us & showing us that there is an escape

Butterfly Love I live with the same problem I’m getting ready to do something about it 💕

Emily Davis Many blessings to you, @Emily Davis, on your journey!! 🌸🕊🌸

How are things now days? Were you able to break free? I hope you are doing well now bc you deserve love and respect and happiness!

@@sfletch3042 I'm doing great thank you. I'm happily single and although I have had bad experiences, I haven't taken myself completely out of the dating pool. Someday maybe.

I heard him too! So true!

Amen!

Heart out to you to girlindesert. My father is a malignant narcissist.

Rachel It’s an uphill battle to understand them and you must learn things new that you never thought you would have to but once you do understand them and learn all that you have to learn about them there is no choice but to just walk away and leave everything burning in the back of you because you have to burn that bridge

Haha! My son recently said of his dad, "He has a great memory!" I almost choked! My goodness, the guy can't remember an agreement he made last week or that he was adulterous BEFORE he left me... Selective memory indeed!!

"The only thing that is preventing me from being on the top is my lack of self-confidence." ... That didn't even make sense.

They have a lot of fictitious memories! My ex narc did drugs for many years before I met him and he shows signs of dementia. He has memory loss, loses keys, takes things and can’t remember where they are 4 minutes later. I’m curious to know how he will be years down the road. He’s only 38.

Not always so. Some of them actually have good intentions. Because some of them were abused themselves, they want to become better than those who abused them. They start to develop a 'system of values' which is simple : "if i don't lie and cheat or manipulate others, then i'm a good person". When they are mid- or high functioning narcissists, they'll even chose a career such as a teacher or doctor and never become aware that they are actually narcissists and they will fail to realize (just as many people do) that it is far more complicated and demanding to become a real human being than people would think it is. It's not enough trying to be a good person, or to believe you are a good person just because you don't consciously use/abuse others. They subconsciously use/abuse people and have a hard time when confronted with it because their entire life they thought they avoided being a bad person since they never went out of their way to make people feel bad; But they also never went out of their way to learn what it is to be a good person or what actually makes a person good or never thought about themselves already being a narc because of their reaction to the abuse they suffered in the past. I was a multiple victim of narcissism and have encountered many of these type of narcs i just described. They are very much different from your typical malignent narc who enjoys playing and manipulating others, feeling superior to everyone. Still, i understand your reasoning, for what narcs do to others is always malignent of character, i mean they don't just tickle you to death... No, they do torture others that's fact. Keep in mind not all narcs are the same, this is just my personal experience with them.

@@alainvosselman9960 I think you can't call someone a narcissist if that person can change. Those people are just badly wounded but able to heal eventually. You can behave like a narcissist but you are not a narcissist when you have a conscience. I have seen many narcissists and none of those had any remorse of their behaviour. And they will never have.

@@Finnlady77 You are right but i didn't just single a person out thinking "there, now that's a narcissist". There was a person who systematically acted in ways i later found out to be malignent narcissism. After having made quite a study of the topic, only then i discovered that a lot of people in my past and present where also narcs, only different kinds....more socially engaged. The first person was more of a psychopathic type, cold person. But to discover all this was a proces which has been lasting for almost three yrs now. I've known all these people for yrs and know their backgrounds, behavior and indeed i have an indication whether or not they can learn from their bad behavior or how they perceive realtiy, senses of intitlement etc. I'm not the person to just jump to conclusions and drop my entire social circle, but you have a point !

@@alainvosselman9960 Yes, you learn best by experience. I have seen so many covert narcissists and their masks falling down that I don't let these people to my environment anymore after seeing a red flag. I want a secure and happy soul family around me. I used to believe that I can understand everyone and I can always find a way with all people but now I see how naive I was. There are evil people out there and their mind is so badly damaged that there is nothing you can do but save yourself. Be careful with your good intensions to heal those wounded people. They can fool you very easily. Remember, it's not your responsibility to fix damaged people, they need to do it by themselves. Love yourself first.

​@@Finnlady77 Exactly !

v kauffman no you are..trying to contol what others do..hope you seek help.

@@user-zm9yc2kb8x BTW I gave a thumbs up. :^O

Your silly...

Might be on the spectrum lol

But they're aware of it??!

@RisingStrong57 There would not be narcissists in Heaven. Not to say someone not far along the narcissism spectrum might successfully change their ways while still on this earth. With God anything is possible. I believe they COULD reclaim their soul if they wanted to and asked God's help. But I don't think many want to.....They would need insight and self reflection which they tend to lack.

Facts!!!

Sherri M I. I would love to hear specifics on your boundaries and the noticeable changes with his behavior that they created. How long lasting are these changes? Does he seem resentful? Dr. Carter talked about the differences by noting what it does but I’d be curious what but not malignant looks like. Could the nonmalignant be like the malignant just not pervasively?

Do you ever feel like you must defend yourself? Do you ignore her/him instead?

@@smac1823 well after raising 2 children and having a task list. I resurfaced the list for myself ( the kids are grown and well adjusted adults who live in their own homes). I would keep somethings on the list in view, and some tasks privately not in view. So when my husband would see that I am working on different chores around the home, he wouldn't trouble me at that exact moment if I was doing something else. God knows I might ask for help, he would avoid helping me. Lol . Just be prepared, get up earlier them them, know their routine like the back of your own hand. Go to bed either with them or after them. If you go before them, be prepared for them to disturb you or listen to them to pick a fight with you, when you are at your weakest moment. Have less weaker moments. Don't let your guard down. Don't look too relaxed, they pick up on that. I don't use my phone around then too often, because it will turn into" who am I talking to, or what am I buying.". Assume, they don't listen or can't hear. So announce your intentions and do just that. If it's late, let them know you are going to bed. If you getting ice cream, ask them if they want anything. Be agreeable and mindful but remember that a narc will use anything to start a fight. If often starts with it directed at you . When you hear the word "You" be ready to gray rock or ask what is it you can do to help. Boundaries, when it crosses the line of " is she asking or saying something unreasonable" then it's time to stay in your lane, wow did I hear you say that? I'm sorry you feel that way, I am not going to discuss this now, I want to respond in a better way". Then find something to do, in the garage, in the kitchen, clean the car. Anything. Sack the trash take it out.

I try to handle it, I state my case and I move on and move forward. It's harder to hit a moving Target. Be a partner but not a doormat. Give more "I love you's" can defuse a situation. Never take any insults or abuse personally, there is no excuse for that. Have a strong sense of worth and use grace in your dealings with them. Sleep better because you did better and you didn't lower yourself to fight with them that day. You are in charge of you. Their feelings are their own. I think it got better for me because I just wouldn't tolerate the insults or the short sighted thinking, I kept my standards and boundaries in place. I would say you can't call me.that, you are not allowed to hurt me like that that. This not how our relationship should look like, don't you want to be happier? Where is this coming from? Those are good boundary questions to have. "Time out, it's time I go outside for some fresh air.". Have those statements in your vocabulary too.

@@smac1823 the narc can affect you 2 ways. #1 how.they make you feel. And #2 how they act. S Mac you can control how they make you feel.. (#1). If you control that part of.you, how they act will feel less hurtful,.or mean spirited. Sometimes I think they like seeing the hurt or your confusion so if you can deal with.your feelings and give them less power. They how they act will have less flare-ups. I am less battle weary because I don't enter the drama. I hope my strategy and comments helped. I'm only 6 months in, and Dr Carter's books have helped alot. I've been married 10 years. So it's going to take more patience on my part. I had to change my script and the negative feelings I had. You may want to go to thearpy. It will help.

He does--the second half of his videos tells you how; the first part describes what they do.

I am so sorry you got ripped off...

Yeah they are definitely bullies and they act so sweet in front of everybody else but behind closed doors big bullies

@@sherrijensen3427 absolutely!

The God of this world (Satan) makes sure you are tortured from birth. Real human exists to battery power their world through pain and suffering

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I'm still recovering from my narc mum and her interference in my family too. They should all be locked up.

Abigail Phoenix of Phoenix Rising Art Really lovely post. Thank you! 😊

Do you know that narcissistic parents create Borderline children? They have done that to you, it’s not your fault. No narcissist, no Borderline.