It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick, superficial, soulless, selfish, stupid society.

I went to a therapist once. My therapist needed therapy.

I had been in and out of therapy since the age of 13 (I'm 45 now). None of them did much for me except help me through the immediate crisis - not the root cause. Once I learned about C-PTSD through Dr Mate' and Tim Fletcher, I was finally able to recognize how my horrible self-esteem, ADHD symptoms, crippling anxiety, and emotional dysregulation formed in me. It's tragic that the psychology community knows so little about complex trauma, because it's so crippling and affects so many people.

I needed therapy to recover from my therapy.

Many therapists only have textbook knowledge but not enough life experience to relate to their patients in order to truly know how to help their patients. A lot of people feel like the sessions are superficial and people have to put on a front when they see their therapists.

Let me tell you what I think the problem with it is - a lot of therapists today don't really know what to do. I been in the mental health system since I was 8 and I'm 33 now. I'm Autistic and Schizoaffective. I've had 3 really good therapists that really actually tried to get me to do stuff like working through causes of addiction, EMDR, CBT, identifying and challenging irrational thoughts and beliefs.... But most of them don't, they just listen to me talk and that's really about it, they don't do nothing, then they want me to keep coming in every week or two because they know the agency gets money from my Medicaid. It's a system that doesn't work.

This is also one of the most criticisms of 12 Step recovery. Only Adult Children of Alcoholic puts the focus on trauma. Other programs want to control the behavior that brought you into the rooms by asking you to make amends for the problems YOU caused without considering what drives you to those behaviors. Trauma is not a get out of jail card but we can't ignore it and expect a different response. Trauma survivors invariably believe they are worthless and need to be fixed... when what we need is compassion as we learn finally how to care for ourselves.

Have had CPTSD and chronic depression - finally, between Somatic Experiencing and EMDR - I am now healed. I had to get to know myself as a healed person with a calm nervous system. It is possible - never give up because the rest of your life is a huge investment!

One of the hardest things about trauma is the massive amount of internal defensiveness that often comes up not to go to the painful places. I often feel like there’s a huge wall of feelings of “wrongness and badness” about myself. And if I sit with that feeling of shame and just let it be there eventually it devolves and on the other side is just this terrified little crying child.

As a veteran I hear you! I’ve seen my discussion on my trauma visibly make therapists uncomfortable, showing they are way out of their comfort zone. Hard to share what is my trigger when it looks like your causing the person harm.

I think it is a societal issue. I’ve been to doctors and dentists for TMJD. I clench my jaw. I thought only during sleep. It’s during the day too. I was given a night guard and other mouth appliances, and physical therapy. I kept telling them I wanted to get to the root cause. They thought their treatments were addressing the root cause. When i told them that they were only addressing the symptoms and i figured the problem was from childhood trauma, they looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language, while also telling me they are treating the root cause.

I had EMDR for my cptsd, worked brilliantly. Im nearly fifty now and i can finally manage things that ive lived with for years. The last two years have been the best for me.

I attempted therapy a few times in the past for PTSD. The only thing I learned from my experience with therapist… my therapist were all crazier than me. 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

I've been to 3 counselors in my life. One was antagonistic as soon as she found out I had religious beliefs. The other was nice "mindlessly agreeable, not helpful, but not an unpleasant experience. The third was indifferent and dissmisive. A doctor once told me I needed "psyche help and placeboes" and I'd bec"right as rain!". Aha! Why didn't I think of that! As a child I was raised by 2 alcoholic narcissists, but, when my dad died, I was 8, a year older brother and a much younger sister, my mother brought a "not a good man" into our lives, who in short time devastated and figuratively "murdered" our pathetic little family. All the while I was in good and bad foster care, kidnapped and hidden from the other parent, moved dozens of times in a 12 year school period. New school each time. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. As anyone with C-PTSD knows. Men and women like Mate have been so helpful to me in my 60s. I look back and realize I previpusly got better in many ways using honest and common sense, but, I still had plenty of issues and trauma that, even today, can interfere in my life. So thankyou to all the Gabir Mates online who are so helpful. I also really appreciate the Crappy Childhood Fairy. She is so very helpful. I am SO grateful for them all. As I turn 70, living in a log home on a lake, enjoying daily kayak fishing, I am most blessed. I have lots of not unexpected health issues, but I'm not dying. I have few friends, true, but I have a wonderful husband for 33 years. Blessed, am I., as Yoda said. My siblings didnt fare are so well, psycholog8cally, but each still managed to find some love along the way. I have come through fire, I am a survivor and a warrior! I used to tell people I was "born I to a hurricane and raised by tornadoes and escaped at 16". I didn't escape unscathed, I have my battle injuries and scars, but like a salmon swimmimg upstream to the spawning grounds, no jagged rock, no hungry bear, is keeping me from my Source of Healing, Jesus. He was with me before I ever knew Him! He is with me still.

I am a physician, not practicing in Canada. I have CPTSD, and I realized our mental health medical knowledge is very little. I have experienced it and live with it. It is a shame. There is no help out there for the traumatized people, even when it's CPTSD. There are alot of entitlement in the Mental Health Professions who fill out the DSM axis perfectly as an A+ assignment, but they don't know the basics of how trauma affects the body and neural system. I could get better when I started studying CPTSD extensively. When I read about polyvagal theory and its clinical implications, It perfectly makes sense to me. I will not forget the day that I went to the ER because of flashbacks and being accused of malingering or factitious. After administration, I was interrogated by an in-patient psychiatrist every day when I was suicidal. She was looking to fill out her DSM axes based on the initial diagnosis which was malingering and factitious. 😢

I have been in and out of the 'mental health' 'system' here in the UK since the age of 18 (I'm now 65) I had no idea what was 'wrong' with me - apart from I was completely different than others. School was hell, I was unable to hold down a job, everywhere I went people turned on me - the list just goes on and on. I've been referred to many psychiatrists over the years that just ended up blaming me and prescribing SSRI's (that don't work) I was referred to the Portman Clinic in London (that was a nightmare) I was referred to the Maudsley National Trauma Centre in London (again, utter nightmare.) I started seeing a private counsellor who happened to have trained in CPTSD! in my late 50's. Things started to make sense. Unfortunately I had to move and could no longer see her. I sought other counsellors but - the big but! - I basically had to teach them about childhood abuse - suggest books to read etc. Yes they still charged me (for teaching them??) There is absolutely nil understanding here in the UK about developmental trauma! I have finally just started with a trauma trained counsellor! There is a lifetime of trauma to unpick.

Dr. Gabor Mate’s work helped me heal from a decade of opioid addiction, which stemmed from unrecognized CPTSD and childhood trauma. Mental health professionals just kept drugging me with psych meds, which made my mental health deteriorate even more. So happy to have this new perspective Mate offers. Truly life-saving. My entire twenties was destroyed because of the medical field’s ignorance and recklessness.

In my family, the past is anything that happened 20 minutes ago and we never speak about the past ever. We live in the now. We are all heavily traumatized. I rebelled and spoke frequently of my profound insights. I was ostracized and watched the same pattern repeat itself in the next generatioon. I learned to be an excellent communicator and realized that introspection and regulating emotions was a great place to start. With our current youtubers, I often get better insights that I ever did in therapy. It is not the the knowing of why your wounds came to being but in the rewiring of our internalized reactions that the healing starts in my opinion. Learning to put my needs first without feeling guilt was a huge task that required practice, consistency and intension.

I LOVE this man. FIRST- do not SHAME yourself for feeling.."I shouldnt be feeling this way! why am I still like this" vs what can i do to explore this and my feelings are valid. let's explore that further. Why am I feeling like this, Where did this come from what in my past has happened, is that true today, etc

Doing 1.5 years of CBT before healing my trauma was a tremendous waste of time at best, and re-traumatizing at worst. The CBT therapist was so incompetent he scoffed at my attempts to do my own research. Thankfully I figured I need to only work with people well-versed in complex trauma, or at least not entirely ignorant.

I feel for me CBT and my therapist is helping because I came to a point where I couldn't name what was happening to me, I didn’t understand my feelings and needs, I couldn’t really live my life. I stayed for years with the statement "I had a terrible childhood, I have to be compassionate". But the fact for me is that compassion comes with also teaching the wounded child that what he/she feels is not the ultimate truth. So you have to push, with awareness and equanimity, to come out of your present reality, to change our childhood perspective that we project into day to day life. To show the kid that he/she is able to love and be loved, that he/she is worthy of a happy life, worthy of beautiful, healthy relationships and experiences with others and ourselves. So CBT for me IS dealing with the symptoms but the core wound at the same time. It's reinforcing the forgotten fact that WE ARE worthy of love by facing those fears, exposing ourselves to what really frightens us and finding out that it is not really what the child believed. And let's say for some people CBT doesn't really help with the core wound, like Gabor says, you would still have some mental/emotional space from dealing with the heavy symptoms to create more awareness of the underlying cause. However I still think that the symptoms are not like some people describe them; just different, random infinite expressions of the wound that never ends (it feels like it never ends and it feels like a burden when you don't acknowledge them). Once you know the core wound and you start acknowledging your triggers in your everyday life, you'll see that at the end is 2 or 3 big believes that are expressing over and over again. Then you have like a map of your triggers and reactions. You learn to know yourself therefore how to deal/love yourself. We are all different though. I just hope we are all in our way to a happy, peaceful life.

I went to a therapist once and I needed therapy after the therapy. I went home with extreme depression. I could not go back.

Healing vs. Coping is the big issue. Most therapists and psychologists can only help people to "cope" (i.e. manage the pain), because most of the time, they're approaching the issues more on a biological standpoint (e.g. depression is likely just a chemical imbalance in the brain). The field doesn't really look at humanity at a human level, such as systemic communities, existential crises (e.g. lack of meaning, lack of identity, lack of belonging), metaphysical aspects even, etc. Instead, they view people as a complex system of bio-electrical signals that just need to be appropriatly regulated, with the right physical stimuli and/or chemical stimuli (e.g. pharmaceuticals). Healing is an entirely different thing than coping.

One thing I would like everyone to know is that “YOU ARE NECESSARY”. When failure at work or in a relationship hits and depression takes over, to cover anger, the first thing to leave is the sense that the person is actually needed in this world. Well the so called world is capable of lies! Put caring out there in that cold world. Just a casual recognition of how well someone does something can help a person who hasn’t heard a compliment ever after a lifetime of accomplishment in small but vital things. That includes yourself! My example is this. As a young woman was working at a difficult and thankless job and I was surrounded by mean spirited people all day. Next door lived a family with a child with Down’s syndrome. Every morning as I left for work, and every evening when I came home, there she was, stationed faithfully at the end of the sidewalk, smiling at me like I was the only person in the world! Made my day so much brighter. On some level she knew I needed her big smile. That is her accomplishment. It’s not all she has done with her life I am certain but she gave me something irreplaceable.

I have had therapy for PTSD, depression and anxiety. My life has been about trauma. Much of my healing I did myself, if I ran into an impasse, I looked for therapy that was centred around healing the pain around my trauma. We often blame ourselves for what happened to us as children because we are dealing with it as a traumatised child, not as an adult. Putting the blame where it belongs, with the person who perpetrated the trauma, is the beginning. Talking about it is fine for a while, but we need to address the core issue.

My psychotherapist told me she couldn't help me because I did so much great job myself. I didn't really agree because it's easier to speak with someone about the process. When I years later was contacted by the therapy clinic for psychological health, they just wanted to medicate me even if I've been struggling with severe contraindications from SSRI and Elvanse that gave me seratonergic disease. When I asked for psychotherapy they refused and said... We can't help you if you don't want medication. I knew that this was a sign that I was able to heal myself from trauma. So I've been healing for years by myself. If I didn't have any experience and tools as a registered nurse for helping and supporting others in crisis and trauma, I would have been able to do this work myself. I'm grateful for your videos that support me and confirms that I'm on the right track. Thank you for spreading this wisdom 🧡🌍🧡

I went thru a bad divorce and went to couselling 14 times for an hour. I learned all about "repressed anger vs expressed anger." Just that really helped me understand my ex and myself. My ex refused to go (this is common,btw) and we divorced. But to this day, i feel bad for her. I learned so much about myself and she missed out and still does not understand herself. So i am a fan of good therapy, if the counselor is good.

Sadly, we have to figure this out on our own. I've been to numerous therapists for ocd, and none helped. What i learned from therapy is that therapy doesn't work. Save your money and save your time by avoiding therapy.

The work of Byron Katie, is called enquire. She has been teaching the 4 steps. I think Gabor has spent time with Katie. She saved my life. Brilliant work.

Gabor Mate is the only ‘expert’ who even comes close to ‘getting it’

I miraculously stumbled on an awesome psychotherapist. I knew nothing about therapy and counseling. Years later, I'm healing from the traumas and the damage done from not forming a secure attachment. He's a rare find, a master jedi in the mental health industry, and I'm so thankful for the journey I'm on.

The end of this video left me in tears, I have to learn to reach out to my hurt inner child. Thank you.

I had the experience of being in a treatment program years ago where they tried to fix everything with group therapy. They didn't get to the root of the problems these people were trying to deal with at all. It was like sticking a band aid on a wound that needed treatment.

I'm realizing I've been ruled by rejection anxiety. Thankfully, I'm able to see this in another new context which is understanding Narcissism. There is a growing movement of psychologists explaining Narcissistic Personality Disorder through the lens of what they call "narcissistic abuse." Narcissists are truly crazy people with terrible coping mechanisms for insecurity. They cope with insecurity by fabricating fantasy worlds in which they pretend they are the best. They construct and maintain these fantasies through comparison to others. They elevate themselves by minimizing others. To be good, somebody else must be bad. To win, somebody else must lose. To feel good, they must make somebody else feel bad. I believe this is the source of a vast majority of insecurities in healthier people. We have narcissists in our childhood telling us everything is wrong with us -- rejecting us -- and doing so by framing themselves as perfect. We believe it all and spend our lives thinking we are imperfect and have to become perfect to live up to the narcissists. The key is realizing that it's all a lie. Not only are the narcissists not perfect people or in a position to judge and demand we act perfect, they are the most imperfect of people. They are the last ones to be passing such judgements. And think about it -- would a healthy person act that way? Would somebody who is really better act so haughty and condescending? The very fact that they do it is the reason you should completely ignore them and not internalize it. And if you are the kind of person who does tend to internalize it, that's a sign that you are actually the better one. Rather than beating yourself up because insane bullies projected their insanity onto you, instead learn how (and when) to shut them out and instead embrace your good qualities. I say "and when" because not all criticism comes from toxic people. Sometimes we should take criticism to heart when it is coming from truly decent people wanting to help us who have wisdom we can learn from. The key is learning to distinguish those people from narcissists, and a primary tool for doing that is in how they deliver the criticism. Look for the tendency of elevating oneself by minimizing others. And remember that isn't the same as being irritable. Somebody can be angry with you and raising their voice at you because you're acting badly, but that doesn't mean they're minimizing you to elevate themselves. My dad was a Marine Corps drill instructor when I was a kid and was hard on me, but it was because he was the best dad ever with a pure and kind heart who cared enough to be hard on me and I'm better for it. I highly recommend checking out the discussion on narcissistic abuse. The leaders of the movement are Doctor Ramani and Surviving Narcissism. Both have youtube channels.

Another critical modality is the Dynamic Neural Retraining System. Especially crucial for people suffering physical ailments due to trauma. Saved my husband’s life. Most trauma cannot be treated through cognitive methods. Consider learning how to rewire the brain.

My sister, who has had a LOT of trauma in her life, also unfortunately lives in a state notorious for poor medical care (fortunately she's in a lovely town, but still). Her last breakdown was severe. There were ZERO psychiatrists or psychologists within 100 miles available to take a new patient. She spent >1 year talking, instead, to a SOCIAL WORKER (my sister has a doctorate in the Humanities and is very open and accepting of others). This 'therapist' was actually *LESS than helpful* Thank you, Dr Mate; your podcasts have helped our whole family better understand trauma and its side-effects, including addiction. *Yours is a voice of reason and kindness, in what feels like an increasingly unreasonable and unkind world* 💜

It’s only after ten years of weekly psychotherapy that I think I am realising that (for me) talking about my feelings has become my number one strategy to avoid feeling them.

From experience no one could heal me but myself. I was sexually abused as a kid for years and ended up in an 18 year abusive marriage. Everyone saw my pain but couldnt help me. I could only heal myself by loving myself first.

What a great ending! Thank you for sharing ❤️

the part about the inner critique we have internallised from when we are young. I never realised that we can talk back to it, and even get to know it! Im so busy trying to shut mine up and prove it wrong, obsessed with overachieving to prove it wrong that I am now finally a capable adult! I never even though for a second to be emathetic towards it, wow my mind is blown!

We have to be compassionate to ourselves. Thanks Gabor. Much love. 🙏💖🌄

I've been in recovery for 38 years and hear the same things around the tables from my teachers, mentors and occasional entertainers. If I've learned anything it is, there are no coincidences, every experience is an opportunity to learn and it seems the more painful, the greater need for intro or retrospection, that I am a grain of sand just like all the other beautifully unique grains of sand, Love is a verb when you spent your life saying but not feeling it, sorrow is inevitable and suffering necessary, joy is fleeting as it should be, seek contentment instead.

Thank you for bringing up this situation. That is so important and one in five hundred can reach the level that the doctor had mentioned. This part of mental health should be aware of this. Again, thank you. I have had the same fight.

Great self aware and humble interviewer and great knowledgeable interviewee

Insurance... lack of quality Insurance and support for the patients who need it the absolute most.... that is why modern therapy is a joke

Dr Gabor - you are a gem and a genius- saying it like it is - the metaphor of the trigger vs the size of the rifle - hit something in me - we all get triggered and bear trauma ,some carry it well , others or at differing times differently so. However asking to learn from our own triggers and being open and gentle to ourselves is the key to opening the doors of our “walls” and understanding who we really are . The childhood choice or perspective about what a childhood “friend “ is , a shadow to converse with and how old we were when that “imaginary companion” came into being is profound , as an only child it rings so true and real . All I can do is say thank you very,very,much - your insights are a godsend - a real island oasis in a sea of turbulent emotions . Gratitude 🙏

Thank you for this conversation. The insight about the trigger being so small and the explosives within us being the real issue is spot on.

Thank you for this beautiful interview. You both spoke with honesty and wisdom. i'm navigating through some triggers myself and you gave me the insight to make some positive decissions.

Dr Gabor Mate is an international treasure! Thank you for this segment!

I've started a course of sound therapy. After one session had a breakthrough about boundaries and triggers and what to do.

omg when you said the “stupid friend” I remember I used to almost narrate to myself, like I even remember there were times where it was me talking to myself but it was me answering basic questions, what are you doing and why, and that phrase just made that like light bulb instantly go off so thank youu sm for that

Gabor Mate is a joy to behold. He is SO good at what he does.

I'm starting to believe that there are a significant number of narcissistic therapists. I even suspect my last therapist to be a sadist. How else could she watch me cry, session after session, and not comfort me? I'm currently being my own therapist with the help of the internet. I find IFS very helpful.

Great to hear Gabor mention Laurence Heller. Heller's Neuro Affective Relational Model (NARM) is deeply compassionate. Behaviors that might be pathologised in older treatment models are viewed as part of learned survival strategies that once helped us but now no longer serve us (this isn't unique to NARM). I suspect that this simple change in perspective has a significant affect on positive outcomes by making the client feel understood rather than judged (...and I know they aren't mutually exclusive)

I needed to hear this. Just started therapy again and I'm kinda raw and easily triggered these days. My soul needed to hear this. Thank you.

Healing at my core…. 😢 This is really helpful info. Thank you

As a CPTSD survivor, and after decades of minimally helpful therapy, I decided to become a trauma informed coach after doing my own healing. People can't heal without body based and nervous sytem help. I go to the root of the problem w my clients. We don't just talk about your week. (That used to drive me crazy bc I never GOT anywhere w my therapists each week and thought I was broken.) If you are working on getting support, don't let one or two underqualified counselors deter you from looking. There is good help available. Just make sure the support you get is trauma informed!

Modern therapies are SO MUCH BETTER for trauma than the old models. old cbt, behavioural, and talk therapy is actively harmful for many people

I love this man…truly.

Thank you.💖🙏🏼

I feel that so much of what Mr. Mate says is spot on but I have one spot where I feel stuck. I have gotten better and better at asking questions...genuinely asking...about where my triggers come from. They often refer back to earlier traumas in my life. So, a small external trigger can make something flare up in me and it's useful for me to "own" the mechanism in me that leads to depression, anger, defensiveness, etc. But abuse is still abuse and abandonment is still abandonment. And sometimes the current trigger is genuinely present-moment abuse, not just me making a mountain out of a molehill. And sometimes the current trigger is genuinely present-moment abandonment, not me just inflating nothing into something. In other words, if my emotional internal expression is just a flare up from past memories it makes sense that I regulate my emotions to a level appropriate to the present moment situation. But what if my emotional expression is an accurate response to the present-moment situatuon? I feel outraged by so many ways that people treat each other in modern society. I think the world is sick in many ways. I don't want to overreact to things, but I also don't want to underreact to real harmful action. So much "regulation" of emotions seems to be built into this system in which modern life trauma is meted out and we're not supposed to speak up or express ourselves. Beng angry, sad, and disappointed about inhumane forms of human interaction is NEEDED. My emotions make me feel like the proverbial canary in the coal mine. They don't necessarily feel good but they are a warning light that I desperately feel needs to remain on as long as these conditions prevail. How do I find healing and safety in my own individual self and life without abandoning my sensitivity to what is unhealthy in the systems around me?

Sorry, but I spent 8 years in therapy with someone who had lived through and was very aware of the trauma dynamics I was living through. They helped me a lot, and he recommended CBT, which was new at the time, but he'd "heard good things" about it. I had nothing left to lose. My family was comprised of abuse survivors with personality disorders, not that I knew the personality disorder part. The CBT absolutely had a huge amount to do with helping me on every level, with many different problems I was having. I did it for hours a day, in between college classes, for at least a year. It resolved my profound social anxiety that was again, such a new idea no one knew what to call it. It lifted depressive episodes. And it helped me get to the root of my self esteem issues. My therapist didn't subscribe to the one size fits all therapy script, and neither do I. My life is living proof.

Nice Interview, thanks

Thanks dr Mate for sharing yr personal experience. It's very supportive I've heard about triggers but yr example of trigger and yr reaction to it and explanation of yr behoviour and when and where it comes from showed me what it is all about.

I have CPTSD from childhood as well as OCD and an eating disorder that developed as coping mechanisms. Where I live, I have a zero chance of finding a trauma therapist. Basically I've had to do all the work myself, taking much teaching from Gabor Maté and Patrick Teahan who have proven to be of immeasurable help to me. Still it's a very slow and hard progress for me because I can't find anyone to challenge me from the outside. I don't know that I'll ever be able to do all the work just by myself but I'm hanging in there.

For me CBT (together with my own meditation practice) was what actually helped and made a huge difference on my quality of life (because it really helped with OCD). Talking about childhood in therapy didn't change much, but was often re-traumatizing. People might be different. I talk a lot with friends about childhood and feelings anyway, but what I really need is tools and skills that I didn't develop properly, to help with solving current issues, like tools/skills for breaking out of ocd patterns emotional regulation communication when there is a conflict understanding of social situations when I'm confused setting healthy boundaries (and the difference between necessary boundaries and pure egoism) routines for self care Yes, I need to understand where my problems come from, but I suspect a lot of them come from my first 2 years that I can't remember

I am a psychotherapist with a PhD. I have been working for about 30 years in my field. Dr. Mate is complete right. I worked alongside a psychiatristt at a major university and they had no interest in psychology or teaching psychologists and budding psychiatrists how to do therapy. They were taught how to use their prescription pad to solve every problem they might face. I was never taught about trauma therapy until about 4 years ago and then it was part of a course I had in neuroscience, I am a much better therapist now than I was before I learned to apply trauma theory to something besides war veterans and rape victims. Fortunately, I knew about compassion therapy a long time ago. Ultimately, how much good therapy one can do is dependent on what kind of insurance people have, if they have any. Insurance companies rule the world of healthcare. Thank you, Dr. Mate for speaking out.

Great video and very important topic!

7:52 that first voice? I think I might have had those exact thoughts - literally word for word, epecially the "I'm all alone, I'm going to suffer in this world". It's not that I'm not very happy right now, that's (sort of) fine, there's things that cause me to feel this way that I theoretically could change. It's just that I don't think I'm ever realistically going to change those things, because I'm an extremely procrastinatory/passive/weak person that can't really change. I know that's an assuption that I'm making about myself that could be false, but right now that really is something that I believe. And the "I'm all alone" is very similar. Yes, I'm lonely right now, which is fine, we're not going to have close people to us at all stages of life. It's that I literally can't imagine finding someome who'd be close to me. And even if I did, they'd have to put up with me AND I'd have to make sure that relationship (friendship, romantical or whichever else it might be) lasts and that I actually try to connect with them, because I'm very avoidant and "isolatory" if that's even a word.

Therapists are CRAZIER than the patients...

I needed to hear and be around people who spoke truth, reasoned with common sense and attuned to the natural nature of the human being along with realizing the depth of and need to adhere to the Ten Commandment and similar teachings.

This just happen to me. . . I stopped therapy and now feel more lost then I did before I started the therapy. The trauma wasn’t addressed, and if you don’t heal the past you have no foundation to build the present on.

The solution to the sickness of egotism is to surrender. Details are in the book "Living the Mystery of Life" by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. ""Fighting the wounds of the past will only deepen those wounds. Relaxation is the method that heals the wounds of the mind, not reaction." - Amma (Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)

This is great, its what we should all be doing. I wish there were more therapists out there that understood this.

Dr. Mate' is very helpful in his advice.

Actually I just heard a podcast about a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD after a traumatic childhood and was put in CBT traumabased and it worked.

My stupid mother told me, "You have to know what's wrong with you." I was 5 years old.

That little voice for me started long ago, that I wasn’t good enough so I grew to hate competition and run from it anywhere it existed. I resolved that someone would always win sometimes I might even win but it never really mattered even if I do win that pride and feeling I see others able to hold on to for so long and sustain them throughout life leaves my body almost as soon as I feel it….

As a retired therapist, I am sooo happy to hear this. 2:54

Went on the roller coaster of therapists and psyche meds...not anymore. I've accepted that I have anxiety and sometimes feel depressed but I refuse to go to therapy again. I practice mindfulness and meditation every day, I take CBD to calm the muscles and nerves and I do just fine. The most important thing I did was to forgive myself for things I couldn't control. I have taken control of my life and who is allowed in it. That's all it took really. No therapist needed now.

So you beat a person again and again and you expect the person not to be triggered but ask himself or herself why do I feel this way? This is very very stupid, you know. A tree is growing if there is enough water and sunshine and a person gets traumatized if administered enough pain. This is this simple.

I'm so glad I saw this video. I've just finished a 12-week set of 'so-called' trauma therapy via the British NHS provision. It was no different from any other standard counselling session I have had in the past. I was gutted to find out that now having finished the sessions I have no new insight into trauma recovery than I did before I started. This needs to be rectified quickly as trauma-based mental health is a growing problem in all parts of the world, as seen from the horrific behavioural problems that are being exhibited by people who need real help.

Good video...one of the biggest challenges too is that people who need therapy from a therapist with trauma training and expertise may not realize they have suffered trauma and sometimes it is not even revealed during therapy itself.

The problem with my CPTSD is that I know exactly what caused my trauma and the damage has already been done so a change in perspective won't technically help me. Therapy, for me, would be an expensive way for someone to nod their head and say "yeah, your mom sucked, that'll be another $200" every week.

I just watched this video and something came to my mind: the stupid friend that Dr just pointed, it reminded me of the movie “beautiful mind” about John Nash life, as you know he had schizophrenia and he was seeing people who were never gotten old, is there any connection between the stupid friend and the people that John Nash was seeing? By the way I am someone who struggled anxiety all her life and still going on.

Therapy helped me a lot, mainly because it brought the stuff I needed to work on into focus, the real healing was my own doing and it's still going on. I think people need to accept responsibility for where they are now, not hold themselves at fault if they were abused or traumatized, but accept that this is where they are now and work on improving themselves, learn to be okay with things not being okay. Ain't easy but a helluva lot better than living life with the higher levels of anxiety and depression that come along with not doing the work, imo. Take care everyone.

Indeed your grace 😌 great perspective 🙏💜💫🪶

Most therapists are terrible.

I suffered PTSD (unknowingly) for several decades after being molested by my step father and then alienation from the family, including my mother, for it. No therapist was helpful and I resented every time they wanted to prescribe a pill. Finally, at age 42, I discovered fasting by accident. Was going through a dramatic divorce and my youngest child was severely ill. I just gave up. Lied in bed for a week without eating anything. After about 4 days, I started feeling a little better and started running for exercise, trail running. In as little as a month I felt amazing, looked twenty years younger and could better deal with all the drama around me. 18 years later, It, fasting, saved my life or has at least added years after a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis. Mother Nature takes care of us. But Man has for millennia tried to destroy her so that he can commodity from our suffering.

That thing about triggers really resonated with me

Aw you guys ya know if being hard on yourself worked, you'd be better by now. Take it easy and take kind care of you 💜💜💜💜

The only thing that can help you at your core is to go to God. Only God can fix that. Worked for me.

If u talk about trama you'll relive said trama , its a vicious cycle , why weed is nice ,& quiet 💝🚴‍♀️

Counseling has mever helped me. Thats why im just doing what I CAN. Thanks, UKposts! ❤

Dang that was amazing

Hi Gabor: you never endingly talk about your babyhood trauma. You don't move on. No-one does. We just 'get on with life', by way of skirting the 'wound'. There is no healing. There is only accepting - and setting side, for a time, the scar of the wound.

I get kinda tired of podcasters using interviews with a mental health professional as a free therapy session for themselves. Yes a certain amount of self disclosure can be helpful to the audience, but the key word there is audience. It's not all about you, man.

Great video

wow this was really good

"Jesus is called the Wonderful Counselor because He alone can give us guidance, help, and deliverance through His wisdom and miracles."