100%

Exactly

Yep

Its so true ... actually I threw that in their faces so they get something to think about !

Right

Kindness without honesty is rather useless, but can serve as the basis for manipulation when further trust can be attained via other means.

This.

Brilliant! 🌟👍

Empathy is the rarest substance on earth. More rare than diamonds, gold.

What?! ☝️ made no sense.. If you think about it.. isnt a Psychopath agreeing kind of Empathetic? In a way it is because they are trying to make you feel more comfortable kind of hide the monster so to speak... i’ll put it this way id rather the Psychopath that mimics than the one who doesnt even bother... this conversation seems insanish.. stay safe please everyone! ❤️ ✌️

@American Pharoah that isn't empathy...

How many arguments have I had about this. I keep talking because I want you to understand what I’m saying. You don’t have to agree. Just understand. Some people keep talking until I agree. I understood what you were saying an hour ago. But I will NEVER agree if keep talking for days. Different communication goals.

Empathy requires understanding & feeling.

Exactly! She should have googled "honest" before giving this talk.

Can you say former President Trump? I knew you could.

Trump die-hards still won’t accept defeat. Jordan Klepper went to the Million MAGA March to find out more.

Yeah its scary.. No matter what i think we need education reform or something because all of us as a whole are woefully under educated the stuff i dont know is alot vaster than i realized.. maybe im old and just dont give two fudges but wow.. and yeah this has made some of my family believe that all the news everywhere got together like villains and decided to lie about everything 🤦‍♀️ its frustrating to listen to that drivel and be calm and easy going enough to try to sneakily change their mind via leading them into discussions that mimic the issue but are in no way related you have to be insane to navigate that stuff.. i cant wait for 2021 hopefully the plague dies and nobody blows anyone up... stay safe people ❤️ ✌️

Not always the case

Dasvidanya, tovarisch

Yes you deserve to be valued and respected!

Good for you. Years from now, you will look back and be glad you left. Your coworkers? They will still be working there. Grinding and backstabbing having gained nothing.

this was the reason I left my company long time ago.. 👍

Good for you. One day I came to talk with my employer about a question. He was loud and confrontational. So I quit. I walked out one day. The second day I worked with him I forgot to prepare his gloves for him for a patient. He walked me out of the room and told me never to do that again. The glove dispenser was like two inches away from him and this was the second day I worked with him mind you. Few days later he paraded me in front of a patient. I am still née at this point. So I dealt with that for 6 months. The 6th month I couldn’t deal with it. So I just walked out. He decided to yell at me infront of the whole office. I had to leave. Like peace ef out. He was wierd. He would humiliate you then laughed with you the next day like nothing happened. I belief he was a narcissist.

I heard something like that before...”The world is led by psychopaths”

The Neanderthaler had it right with the hunter-gatherer nomadic lifestyle. Since agriculture we've gone down.

I think that some so-called leaders follows the maxim, "Absolute power, corrupts absolutely." True leaders inspire their staff and actually listen to what they have to say.

Yeah... I made the same connection too...

It is. Narcissists run the world.

In our current trialling times, I think that tact, maturity and professionalism is a thing of the past...

@@alfredcam9362 trying not trialling. Sounds better.

If the truth hurts align yourself with it instead of working against it. The truth should NOT be sugar coated.

That simply not true.

The Dutch look at that differently

You should have more respect for the people who spend their lives trapped in the human mind. It's a lot more difficult to do that.

@@HospitalForSouls.Xpull down your pants.

Self-awareness is a leadership trait

Needed to be reminded of this!

@@toreybrown1351 might like my channel ♡

@@TheDoomWizard you are a genius. Thanks! I just got an idea on how to get to 1000 loyal subscribers for channels.

This is very short-sighted & I’d have to say I disagree. While she has the main points down & her title/experience creates a proper platform for her, don’t be fooled by the packaging & delivery (or marketing of her teachings). While I believe her intentions are in the right place & she works her points cohesively, think abt what she is REALLY saying & how that reflects on how she copes w her struggles on the inner plane. She is blocked in her comprehension of life- it’s not just a matter of survival, but also *thriving* together. This is such a vital point I feel was neglected especially during Covid. It’s the quality of honesty that creates authenticity. When you are honest w yourself in order to be honest w others, then you have to take a *really* good look at yourself & decide what kind of societal constructs impose on your true form. What she is teaching is surface level stuff of learning how to self-manage in the art of practical manipulation. She even speaks of preserving your rep at work, which is so ego based & never really resolves conflict in practically any atmosphere. When your end goal is to meet an agenda that is isolated on value for self, transactionally speaking, then you forget about the more expansive quality to preserving the authenticity of the whole. Thus, this method becomes quickly obsoleted when we talk about the end game of authenticity- its bonding, its intimacy in a way that knocks down the barriers of societal scripts that divide us...steering us further from our true nature to love which is the true source of empathy. From there, things naturally work out, allowing more fluidity (less restriction or need to control) & less inhibitions for your true talents to come into play for all to resource.

Well, it kinda is if you are brutal and careless in your core and you are asked to be authentic. 😃

@@vojtechotava1417 yeah, don't expect someone to be tactful when you tell them not to be

@@vaclavjebavy5118 Přesně!

yes

@@vaclavjebavy5118 honesty and tact is not the opposite thing. Do them both, not difficult.

This doesn't really matter, but just for the record queue means a line (I waited in a queue at the restaurant.), and cue means a suggestion (non-verbal cues).

@@michaelhoelscher2271 thanks for the heads up. I corrected it. I appreciate.

exactly Omar and thanks for the postive feedback.

I think it’s good advice, but it’s not great. Telling executives and leaders that they should use empathetic authenticity doesn’t take care of the real problems. The real problems are the psychopathic (de-sensitized/dehumanizing) agendas and mechanisms in the work place - namely exploitation. We are starting to see through the BS.

Paid commenter, read other comments to verify.

@@sierraharvester who is a paid commenter? What are you talking about?

True Lies.. .

Grieving if a waste of time and energy.

@@Undisputed_King grieving is a natural human emotion

How are you doing now a year later. Are you okay?

@@Undisputed_King if ud ever lost something worth grieving over then ud realize y ur comment is so ridiculous

@@Undisputed_King Someone exposed themselves in this thread about people without a conscience.

Thanks haha

My goal in this talk is hopefully to inspire exactly that Akash with anyone who can see the benefit! So grateful for your sharing - thank you.

I get dizzy. Too much authentic

Good luck with that 👍🏻

Exactly! It was super encouraging when a manager went up to my co worker and got a certificate for doing well…does he deserve it? Yes of course but I deserve one to and no one seems to see me it’s really sad. I called out today and probably won’t go in tomorrow unfortunately. I’m to the point where I’d rather go to the mental hospital just to get away but even that place is super loud and I want to not be around a ton of people who are loud and negative.

Compassionate people are weak. Weak people don't rise to power.💢

Absolutely not. 'Compassion' to you people is 'steal money from some and throw it at others'. Diversity is NOT a strength. It isn't a weakness either. It can be equally as useful and destructive.

I disagree. I’ve learned someone can be brutal or not compassionate and maybe people will “respect” them but that person goes home to a family and then if they are less agreeable it comes with a downside.

it doesn’t matter if you are genuine with a psychopath, they twist it and make up their own narrative regardless

Tact def is important.

great points

I like brutal honesty because it can help you become better. For example if someone is havingbad hygiene I will say to him/her and she he will know about problem and try to be better.

Honesty vs. Lying ? Sooner or later liars get cut ...there goes your kindness

Well depends among friends yes but in a work environment no. Also sometimes issues go undiscussed and people suffer. Better to be hit by a hammer now than by a car later.

What's funny is she said something I use in this video. But I always thought lead with empathy. The other person not only wants to be heard but understood. When she said be authentic with empathy I laughed out loud.

Wow, Ingrid! That sounds so unpleasant! I believe you. Good that you are taking precautions and continually improving your situation. Is this your only option? Is it possible to find a rental and a single roommate? Maybe someone you get one well with or have a home with a room you can rent so that if you don’t get along you can amicably move on. I’m 41yrs and I think about retirement! My plan, if I’m single, is to have a home I can occupy at low cost and rent out as well. This way I can have more of a say in how things go. It may not be perfect but there is a chance to change things. Hope things are looking up and continued safety and peace! 💕💕💕

Hang in there, Ingrid!

scream out Ingrid Name names

I feel what you are saying, Ingrid. It is shocking to realize how toxic people can be. And yes, they do derive pleasure and power from hurting others. I think it must get worse, as people age and their influence on controlling their work, family, society etc changes. Stay strong in knowing you are worthy and wise. 💕

What are they doing to you? You should be safe.

Brutal honesty by definition requires being brutal, you can be unpretentious without being harsh. The vast majority of truths in this world aren't suppose to hurt, it's when you use it to break balls instead of opening eyes that hurt.

Brutality and brutal honesty still sit in the same realm though... I think there are better words to describe what you are thinking of as brutal honesty, but language is quite fluid so it may be proper terminology where you live. I think that brutal honesty is a vital tool to help someone change perspective but it should only be used in extremely limited ways and times in our life. If the brutal honesty is focused on a misguided belief rather than directed at a person it can tear down a damn cult if used correctly. But if you direct it at people brutal honesty has become your weapon...

What people struggle to teach is body language and tone. These are sometimes more important than the words themselves

@@grimmitachi Spot on. My thoughts precisely. Using "unpretentiously" as a synonym for "brutal" isn't quite right. To be brutally honest JF should look up the meaning of " unpretentious" before using it and what are you on about with "criticizing at all times" (underlined in red). Or to be unpretentiously honest, I agree that unpretentiously honest is not equal to being brutal, but where i disagree is "Brutal honesty" and "unpretentiously honest" being the same. Also if you don't mind me saying, I don't think you needed to add "criticizing at all times" as it is superfluous.

@@gabriellesmith5661 You are so right that brutal honesty should only be used in extremely limited ways and times but if you are brutally honest to someone with a misguided belief you run the risk of pushing that person into an even more intransigent position and despite the evidence against them they hold on to their old beliefs. I think it is called backfire effect.

I completely got that too she made some funny comments the and audience didn’t really pick up on it

Hahaha is your second name Gonzo ? I hope you write As your angle is soooooo funny.

There's no much of an audience, there was a shot of the seats and was mostly empty, probably for the pandemic. Even if they laugh it's probably a giggle that won't be noticed.

🤣 I agree! Dry humor takes high intelligence,wit and a great poker face, some just won’t ever catch it 😘 I’d say perhaps one way psychopaths sort the prey. Idk haven’t watched video yet so here goes.

I'm a sociopath, and I keep to myself because if I see weaknesses, I can be abusive into manipulation methods.

@@JoshuaFreakyVenomFan least try to minimized your evilness a lil bit.

@@JoshuaFreakyVenomFan yes? And what stops you? Why you don’t want to use their weakness in your favor?

a) they are bait and switch artists b) they believe their own hype

@@SearchIndex I'm no bait at all, sir. That's your opinion.

Thank you so much for sharing of your experience and learning from it - that is my point precisely - it builds trust and connection.

Lol me too!

I love this comment.

yes exactly

never splt the difference

...well, one way😉

What a cruel word: "tactical empathy "

That's such heartwarming and humbling feedback Hanna! Much appreciated.

@@nashatersolheim5905 Thank YOU! This was an education in the best sense of the word. :)

Thank you for that feedback Brent and for a thoughtful reflection on my message.

Spot on Marley! Many of the skills I coach fall into that area though may show up in different ways depending on how they are framed. Thanks for sharing a great point.

@@oldnorth2666 Thank you firstly for your openness and sharing. I worked with people with that diagnosis earlier in my career. There is a lot of available therapy using a variety of approaches - though not sure what that looks like in the country where you are. Whilst I no longer work clinically and so cannot advise on treatment pathways, I can point you in the direction of books I know many have found interesting. Books by Marsha Linehan have been very popular.

Indeed she is.... GOLD

Emotional intelligence out of balance is a deficit.

Agree with you and that's the reason I felt strongly enough to give this talk. Thank you for sharing.

Sounds like my employer the narcissist

Not too dissimilar. One set earns high salaries while the other set follows a life of crime and time in prison.

Glad you agree! Thanks Kimberly

...and it doesn't mean being completely open, but authentic to the task.

Yes!!

UFO

@@Q_QQ_Q -It's actually CFO.

It's so funny how the company wanted to help him when accountants are a commodity. You get rid of one, and you get another one the next day. He must have had significant political connections. Nobody should care for people like him. If he is pretty brilliant, he must figure out the hard way.

@@marcelmendez6968 But the guy A C posted about is a pretty good description of Steve Jobs -- and many another super-achiever. When ordinary souls see just HOW ordinary they are -- they go into crisis. A variation on this occurs at CalTech... famed for having an undergraduate body of geniuses and valedictorians. When they all sit together, this becomes the first time in their young lives that they are not #1 -- going away. They go into crisis, too. I met the first guy Jobs fired after coming back to run Apple. Steve made the right call. The dude was an Enarc. ( It's a French term, g@@gle it. His role in society was to be a totally credentialed and unimaginative cog in the Big Machine. [ Enarcs run France, BTW. They are schooled to manage everything and ... lead nothing. ] Read Harvard Business Reviews: Managers vs Leaders. You might learn something.

YT has suppressed the citation at the end of my post -- so you'll have to g@@gle it, yourself. Original pub date 1977. It's so famous that it's now iconic in business management circles.

Interestingly enough having this type of immoral / psychopathic mind wiring might actually be evolutionary for the fact, that these types of men might have held high value in a tribe for where fending off (and even killing) invaders was prioritized over feeling of guilt. Reason being, it's only been very recent in our human evolutionary existence that we're much more civilized. We might have needed psychopaths in the recent past.

@@mrwz626 what? If psychopathology didn’t exist we’d live in near utopia. There would be accountability and diplomacy. But the world doesn’t operate that way because psychopaths exist. It’s like that saying “a few bad eggs ruins it for all”.

@@pennypie923 war would still exist without psychopaths

There is a reason she left out the details of how empathy saved her from the psychopath. I see three possibilities... 1, she pushed the psychopath too far. 2, she was irrationally afraid of the psychopath, and incorrectly believes she saved herself from danger. 3, she made up something that sounds cool for a sound bite.

You wouldn't know the construct of psychopathy without the work of psychologists over the past decades.

Ive been in similar situation. I walked away. Good job

Sometimes there is no choice but to walk away, but that solution is like what suicide is to life. What I have understood is when we join a new job, we are so scared of losing it or making an impression that we start behaving like door mat and start letting people take us for granted. I think the probation period is fine, but after that we have to learn to resist... in a nice way. When we dont speak up when small things happen, it builds up inside us and gets so big that we are no more able to handle them gracefully. So after probation period, NO RULE OF 3 strikes. Speak up at the first strike. Speak nicely, but speak. Give your point of you.

@@rairadio7119 yes so 8 yrs ago i became self employed it seemed daunting at first , however with in 6 months .... Here i am able to pick my days off and set my hours. Its up to me to make the $ and use it wisely. The more i work the more i make , i can turn down some jobs i don't want or don't have time for, i set the pace which sets my pay. I started cleaning homes 50$ for 2 hours. Thats 100 a day for 4 hours. Then patching walls n tile fixing broken things painting rooms and porches. Some jobs wear u out others are very easy find what u can do and scroll ur local Facebook community and meet a need .dont over charge don't be afraid to try

Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

She sounds like she had a borderline personality disorder or narcissism. We can’t allow others to mistreat us, it’s not brutal honesty it’s abuse and detrimental to our mental health. So no empathy for abusive jerks, treat others how you wish to be treated.

appreciate your open reflection and positive feedback AikWK- thank you

Thank you. People are misusing the word brutal because it means violent, cruel and inhumane. As humans we are multidimensional beings. What about empathy? That would also be nice.

Same here. I feel like I should apply this. But it feels kinda wrong. I actually like people who are brutally honest more than people who are "authentic with empathy" I feel like they're phony. But most people don't appreciate brutal honesty so I suppouse that's why empathy is important.

That's great feedback to hear Dimitre - thank you!

WHY is he the way he is? Are his siblings/ parents like this?

Hi Jessica, have you read about the emotional intelligence? Thank me later

@@Alex-bt2qv I won't. I know what is emotional intelligence. But what I definitely don't want is a business of snowflakes.

@@thereisnosanctuary6184 I see. Criticism is bad but insult is OK. This is what we call hypocrisy. I bet you like the ideas in the video but you were willing to insult me.

@@Alex-bt2qv To be critical doesn't mean you aren't emotionally intelligent. Sometimes you have to criticize. How on earth would someone know they did something wrong? Every work place has employee evaluations. Your boss tells you you're good in this and you're bad in that.

@@thereisnosanctuary6184 You don't know me therefore you're insulting me. F off. At least, I am authentic. I definitely won't change my personality. I like to be strong and to be able to endure criticism. Psycho is an insulting word. This is not a character feature. I think the only person who is terrible here is you. Just look at your name.

Give an anonymous survey/questionnaire to the people who work for you. That way you get honest feedback. Research shows that most people over-estimate their performance.

Also that.

Except she's mentioning empathy in terms of showing it to psychopaths (that haven't any), then switches to people in positions of management. She fails to mention that you can't simply "have" (aquire) empathy. I have found that this mentality (narcissism) trickles down from corporate, to the point that it is encouraged. When she said these managers pointed fingers at the very employees they most likely hired, that is beyond telling of this person's character. These people are notorious for resigning any responsibility and projecting their faults and short-coming onto others. They exploit you and see you as disposable. The fact that she linked these two characters seems to indicate she's aware of the deficit, but fails to mention the attempts are futile for the sake of her own career. Irony. There are a ton of videos out there, where psychologists have been sent employees on the basis of a mental health evaluation. What these types do is trade a more overt behavior to something more covert and vengeful. These people didn't get sent to them over a disagreement, they are liability to the company and also fears retaliation from the raging narcississt that threatens to sue. These companies are extremely apathetic and well aware of the managers behavior and it isn't until the employee reaches out to the labor board that any action is taken. When human resources is contacted any action moving foward, is typically for show, as these managers are a reflection of their own hiring process and put there for a reason and that is that they can crunch numbers. Companies will turn a blind eye, as long as they have the numbers to account for it. By this womans rationale, you can encourage the psychopathy to have empathy for their victims and therefore, reform them back into society. I am convinced these "psychs" are afflicted by personality disorders. They use the impression of "empathy" as a means to manipulate (as she admits to) and exploit others for personal gain. It doesn't get more blatant than that.

@@LareesieAlice I've manipulated allot of people, and you seem like a nice victim.

@@JoshuaFreakyVenomFan not today satan, not today.

You obviously don't know about the type 2 psychopath, they have accurate cognitive empathy which makes them much more dangerous.

@@dreamdiction it isn't real empathy, it is the illusion of empathy, a manipulation tactic-as I mentioned.. They understand in terms of "cause and effect", nothing more. All that type II, "dark triad" and "malignant narcississm" is just more pseudo psychology (like this video) and very lucrative. A lot of pseudo psych and youtubers (see above) are part of the popculture. These terms and the like are being used to further exploit victims. I divorced someone very dangerous and I can tell you first hand, a diagnosis means little to the abused. All of them are actors, as they study people to perfect their craft. That "empathy" is fabricated and any psychological intervention has little or no effect. They will lie and manipulate councilors, right down to emulating empathy. The truth lies in the abuse victims and I could write a book on this subject.

Thank you Sean for the positive feedback!

Sometimes the 10% are people who refuse to be fake

One value is good. But when you use it with a little of this, a little of that, you can have an outstanding result.

and rub the lotion on its skin

Love that Bella - definitely heard others say it helps with conflicts and disagreements too. Thanks for sharing!

The fake pandemic is designed by psychopaths.

@@dreamdiction Try telling that to my medical specialist wife and see where you get. Alternatively, it's a pretty impressive fake if it's caused a world-wide lockdown. Perhaps you need to get your news from a wider range of sources.

​@@lautoka63 Your "medical specialist wife" lol. Perhaps you need to get your news from a wider range of sources. The death rate from covid is the same as the death rate from old age. Covid is no more harmful than flu, that's why the total deaths from all causes this year is actually LOWER than the total deaths in previous years with a bad flu season. Covid is harmless, that's why you need a test to know if you've got it. Nobody is even coughing, if there had been no lockdown we would not have notice any difference this year compared to previous years with a bad flu season.

Politicians and psychopaths are one in the same!

@@mithrandir6283 I'm glad that somebody finally got my joke !!

certainly has wide-reaching applications and indeed I have worked with politicians on a smaller scale Dee!

GOOD QUESTION

In fact most of politicians and high-placed people are psychopats, it's a fact

That's so good to hear Thandeka, my purpose is to spread a positive message and more so that it will be helpful to someone - appreciate you taking the time to give feedback. Thank you

Thank you Heath - much appreciated.

@@nashatersolheim5905 Your deduction of the world around you appears to come from an empathetic mind. What are rare trait. As a 43 year old non traditional student, I'm torn between social sciences and biological sciences (whilst working with engineers and architects -post covid). However tis easier to hide in the world of biological sciences as the quantitative and qualitative data does not lie nor torment me about the vast emotions of human behavior. Curious as to why you left the previous field. If my observation is correct, money would not fit, must be the additional challenges of coordinating the minds of the powerful, as I understand so well. Im swamped with a mother with Parkinson's and finals vastly approaching. Would be honored to email directly. Regards, Heath David Arrington

@@xs473 Thank you and happy to connect. Please join me on LinkedIn where we discuss many of the issues you point to.