I’m proud to call Calvin my son. I appreciate how well rounded he presented his life, talking about the good times and very difficult times. I’m grateful that he could see a better way to live his life and follow his heart with what he knows to be true.

"a mind full of conclusion has no room for expansion" damn that's wise

The fact that Anthony didn’t force him to continue talking about a certain subject just show how much respect he has for his guests

I really appreciate that Anthony assured him he didnt need to talk about anything too difficult. many interviewers chase the story regardless of peoples feelings and seeing Anthony display that this was a safe place was heartwarming.

"Righteousness can replace love" I was never in a cult, but very "religious" house hold. And that statement is very powerful

Anthony is so respectful and patient. When Calvin was overwhelmed and crying, Anthony just waited and asked if he wanted to talk about it. He is an amazing interviewer. Edit: the likes omg-

It's really scary to think that someone can just easily get dragged into a cult like Calvin explained. You can't help but sympathize for him.

Advice to cults: don’t send your members to philosophy classes.

minus the polygamy, this reminds me so much of growing up as a jehovah’s witness. we’re taught that everyone else is lost and doing wrong things, and we have “free will” to make good and bad choices. college, long term careers, etc are discouraged. and you’re shunned if you make “bad” choices. it’s so hard to know who you are when you finally leave.

This one really upset me. He was so honest and raw. Sending him virtual love.

Him explaining Plato’s allegory of the Cave was... brilliant. You see visually see his “aha” moment materialize all over again. Incredible.

If anyone is interested in diving in deeper to what it’s been like for Calvin’s sibling growing up in this family, Calvin’s older brother Clayne Edward Wayman just published his memoir recently, “Echoes of Resounding Love.”

the fact he is crying and says it’s fine this needs to be talked about what a guy

A philosophy course saved this man's life. He's happier now and thriving. If that teacher didn't get the wheels turning in his mind and make him question things, how miserable would he be today? It just shows how integral knowledge is to us all.

Calvin : "I have 4 moms" Me : Wow, that's a LOT of moms Calvin : "and 44 siblings" Me : Oh, no, that's NOT ENOUGH moms, no, more moms, please that's a lot of children to bear for 4 moms, wow

The “I hope I did enough” on her death bed really hit home for me I always still wonder if I’ll ever meet expectations of my family and for God.

“A mind full of conclusions has no room for expansion.” That cuts DEEP, dude.

This really stuck with me, his stament “It’s not always bad” that’s exactly what a toxic relationship is like, especially with a parent. It feels so good to hear someone else say that and to know i’m not alone and i’m not crazy.

Anthony is such a great host! His guests always seem to be comfortable and open up like they trust him, that's so great and underrated

Calvin's point that cults exist on a spectrum is a very important one. A lot of people (my past self included) think they can't possibly be in a cult because it's not like Heaven's Gate or Jonestown, or even worry that using the word "cult" for their experience is insulting to victims of "real" cults, but recognising that it's a spectrum is essential to the process of escape and healing.

I have a direct quote from Plato's Allegory of the Cave tattooed on the inside of my arm, because of how profoundly it influenced me the first time I ever read it. It says, "How could they see anything but the shadows if they were never allowed to move their heads?" I got it to remind me to always be open-minded, since it's always possible that what I think is true is a mere shadow of reality, and I might simply not know enough to even realize it.

That voice recording was almost like a movie, you could feel the mulling and contemplation and the eventual release from the shackles, I felt so much relief for him

I grew up in a christian cult and one thing that people always mistake about me is that I'm angry and have hate in my heart against the church...while yes I've been hurt by the church and parts of it do make me angry I have empathy for them. The Allegory of the cave is a perfect example of what it was like for me leaving the church. The one thing the story was missing is all the guilt you feel.

"A mind full of conclusion has no room for expansion" is a really good quote. Thank you for sharing, Calvin

He was so easy-going and could make a conversation flow very well. Calvin was a great guest, and I wish him all the best!

I loved his explanation of Plato's cave-he's a great communicator.

I feel like a cult can also be as easy as being raised by a narcissistic parent. They raise you to see them as superior/untouchable, you never knowing when they’ll blow up, boundaries are always breached (because they aid the narc parent’s belief), they make you feel insecure/guilty about leaving, and you never know it’s manipulation until you or someone else pulls you out of it. And when you do try to escape, they don’t leave you alone. Even that is a SMALL example of a cult.

I grew up with a dad like that.... He gave my siblings and I alot of attention...he was usually wonderful and loving and then out of the blue he would fly into a rage. Even though I had many good memories with my family, they were always tainted with a fear of that potential violent flip. It really messes with you

when he started to cry I really felt for him ): I love how vulnerable he was willing to get in order to say the truth and reality of his situation

he has so much positive vibes that seeing him cry actually hurts

“Righteousness can replace love” so succinct and so precise. Cuts to the core.

"A mind full of conclusions, can never expand" Im not kidding, that's something I'm going to keep with me forever. It's profound and can apply to so many facets of life, it's incredible. Thank you for this video

"A mind full of conclusion has no room for expansion." Dang. It went by so quickly, I think this line deserves more notice. Well said.

This is a demonstration of genuine intelligence. The ability to think outside the box of one’s own upbringing is difficult and impressive.

This guy is so intelligent and eloquent, I could listen to him for hours. The way he told the Plato's cave story was so immersive. I wish him all the best

"Saying "how could anybody ever join a cult" is like saying "how could anyone ever get in a toxic relationship" You'd be surprised of how many people I've heard say stuff like that smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

Calvin seems like such a well spoken, intelligent person, and Anthony is doing a great job as usual, I think this is one of my favorite interviews he's done

It’s crazy how Anthony has sympathy for everyone he interviews. It must make them feel so understood.

I absolutely love and respect that way that Calvin did not hide or apologize for his emotions. I feel like men are so conditioned to hide from or apologize for their feelings and seeing him genuinely get upset was absolutely heart breaking but also beautiful because you rarely see men genuinely upset without any fear

Thank you. So much. I am currently in the same religion with the same thoughts and processes as Calvin. It’s so helpful and emotional for me to see this person who has the same thoughts as me. I’m not crazy. I’m not alone. And this man can go out and live his life the way that I want to. Thank you for giving me that help.

Cults always scare me, idk it just makes me incredibly uneasy

I prefer the deep dive into one guest. I'm always a little sad how surface level the multi interviews are, we don't get deep enough to really hear about the individuals. It's like a broad intro for people who know nothing about that experience.

‼️Crap whenever he started tearing up it made me cry. I was so hurt. For him. Absolutely heartbreaking.

This touches so close to home. I’m a year and a half out of a cult myself, and hearing somebody else went through something similar… it helps me remember that I’m not crazy

“Things don’t usually start out as a cult.” And THAT is how it can happen to anybody. Stay safe everyone! Even if something is familiar to you and all you know, that doesn’t mean it’s good. And even if it’s with good intention, doesn’t mean it’s always healthy. Thanks for a great interview, Anthony and Calvin.

PLATO'S ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE WAS EYE-OPENING FOR ME TOO

It’s things like these that make me realize I was raised in a borderline cult. It wasn’t 100% a cult but it was (and still is) getting to that point. I’m so glad I got out before it got worse.

I come from a family that has branched off of Warren Jeffs cult. I’ve never felt so connected and bonded in a video with a person. People think it’s all bad and awful but it was so normal and so loving it felt like in its own twisted and manipulative way. I’m so happy I got out. I would’ve never saw the damage it actually was doing to me and my family until after I escaped. My sisters and mom are still in. I still have very brief and rare conversations with them. It’s sad to watch their brainwash continue to happen from the outside. Thank you for sharing your story.

“That’s how it becomes toxic, because it’s not always bad” I’m about to cry because he’s articulating the abuse that I’ve experienced in such wonderful way. Or not exact but similar? I’m really grateful for this

Cults and toxic relationships are very similar and I'm glad he brought that up. In both scenarios, you can be more or less brainwashed and coerced to not think for yourself and be scared to leave no matter how uncomfortable you are. I wish nothing but the best for Calvin.

“Righteousness can replace love.” that cuts deep to anyone who has experienced what Calvin had

The cave story is really cool, but what's also interesting is that the version i learned was a bit different. The person got dragged out of the cave and he fought and screamed and when he was brought outside his eyes hurt from the sun and he couldn't see immediately. After some time, he started to see and the story progressed like in the video.

When Calvin told the story of his grandmother saying “I hope I was good enough, I hope I was good enough” on her death bed, literally made me picture my Nanna in that situation and I cried for a while. I feel for her and Calvin for ever having to think that way.

Extra time was so necessary for the invaluable voice recording and excellent explanation of Plato's allegory. Just like cult members benefit from critical thinking about the outside, the rest of us benefit from examining how one can end up in that situation...and it's enlightening to recognize how subtle things can lead to something sinister. Be safe, y'all.

His story of leaving the work and the journey that led him there sounds near identical to my experience with coming to terms with being trans while growing up in a conservative Christian family. Like near identical, from the self doubt, to the fear of damnation, the person asking "well don't you already feel like you are living in Hell," accepting that being wrong about "god" was better than living how you were, and especially the part about how once you say it, it becomes real

I like how Anthony structures his interviews, he doesn't force the person to say anything and makes the room feel warn and safe❤

Just hearing "I hope I did enough" gives me shivers. It's sad that people have to worry about burning in hell right before they die instead of spending it with their loved ones in a better atmosphere.

Anthony I just have your say, your audience is freaking nice. I’ve never been bombarded with so much LOVE! ❤️❤️❤️

Anthony Padilla is so respectful. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" content creator rarely say stuff like that. Respect to this man

22:10 this photo makes me so sad; such sweet moments being tied to such a toxic dynamic

The story that Calvin said about the shadows really sticks with me.. I'm going to be thinking of this for a long time

“Righteousness can replace love.” Yes, thank you for this. As an ex-JW, this interview meant a lot. thanks, cult cousin ;)

I actually had to replay the “44 siblings” part at least three times because I kept thinking “I can’t possibly have heard that right”

Sending love to Calvin!! He seems so strong, intelligent and courageous. Wish him the best of luck and thanks for sharing your story Calvin!

Hold up, this guy is really good at explaining.

My grandson shared this with me. Extraordinary! Calvin's courage, and Padilla's compassion and interest. Just wonderful 😊 And Calvin's mom, her support of his personal journey. Beautiful ❣

These one-on-ones are absolutely my favorite type of content you make, seeing people go in depth on their own stories can provide incredible insight and it's always extremely fascinating. I've always been much more drawn to the idea of two people in a room, talking with each other and sharing stories in an attempt to learn. I love the idea of this format of content.

I respect anthony saying he doesn’t have to talk about it when Calvin gets visibly upset about the subject but I have a lot of respect for Calvin pushing forward and telling anthony “I know it NEEDS to be talked about” and I thank him for his story and Raw honesty so much.

I'm a philosophy major, so knowing that my 'useless' and 'impractical' subject helped someone makes me so happy. I'm glad you had a great enough prof to show you another way to look at your life!

I love how respectful Anthony is with everyone he meets, makes sure his interviewees are comfortable, stating they can disclose as much information as they'd like or not, is unbiased, and how much he interacts with his audience, this chanel is so inclusive and educational, has amazing content and it's refreshing to watch an interviewer with these qualities, becoming successful, opposed to the typical "will push as hard as needed in order to get the scoop" dirtbags that are all too common in this industry Thank you Anthony and team 🖤

none of us are immune to persuasion, manipulation, and propaganda. this guy is amazing.

when i was listening to this i was imagining an amish type scenario. like ratty clothes and no technology. it’s wild to come to terms with the fact that cults are everywhere and may appear invisible.

I'm only 15, so my experience may not be as in depth as Calvin's but I was raised a Mormon as well (although not fundamentalist). It's always a bit startling to see videos about cults that are based on Mormonism, since I only recently left the church. Though I never knew anything else, I never really felt connected to the church's ideals, mainly because of the way it treated women. I watched the women in my church (including my mom and sisters) suffer for years, being actively silenced and brought down for literally anything they ever did. As a little girl I was taught that I did not have any value other than to birth children and keep them and my husband happy and healthy. Although there is so many ways the church has negatively affected me, I believe the worst is that I was told directly that I did not matter. To the church, I didn't matter as a girl, as a woman or as a person. ESPECIALLY because I have type one diabetes (an autoimmune disorder), so I was seen as "impure". While the men had purpose, and were vital to the church, I was taught that women were expendable and basically useless other than to give their husbands children. This was implemented even by the youth groups, because the boys always did fun, adventurous things like camping, learning survival skills or even just going to an amusement park. The girls, however, did a lot of service activities such as sewing quilts for premature babies, cooking food for church events or learning how to clean. Sorry this is a long comment and not very well written, and there is so much more I can say on the matter but I just wanted to get my personal story out there to show other young people that you *can* get out of a toxic place even before you're an adult. Also, I am open to any questions you may have! I will try to respond to all the replies as soon as I can :)

Just started the video but I love Calvin's explanation because yeah, no one wants to be in a cult just how no one wants to be in a toxic relationship.

The way he describes a cult sounds exactly like my experience with Christianity

"righteousness can replace love." this hit home. growing up in the same way as calvin, as a once closeted member of the lgbtq+ community who came out after years- this rang true so many times.

My heart aches for the children born into it with zero choice and no way to fight it. A lot of children were murdered in Jonestown. Heartbreaking stuff.

im an ex morman, i grew up in the church and when you finally get out and realise whats happened and what you had been involved in its traumatizing

i was raised in mormonism, not quite as intense and fundamentalist mormonism, but god it’s so demanding emotionally and mentally. i remember my process of leaving was filled with so much grief. everyone around me telling me i’m making a mistake was so difficult. something important about these two religions that wasn’t mentioned is that many believe in order for a parent to go to heaven they have to be accountable for their children. my parents had a very difficult time when i left because they felt like i was ruining their chances of having a forever family. the guilt is horrible. thanks for sharing calvin :,)

Can we talk about how he’s already breaking the cycle with his daughter? The guy grew up in a cult, cults aren’t usually very allowing of imperfection or *mistakes* and often make kids feel evil/wrong or like a freak for just making mistakes any developing child makes. This guy grew up in that sort of environment and went on to write a book called “Mistakes are A-Okay Maggie May”. What strength he must have to make such progress in such a short time.

Honestly I like this format with one guest especially with these darker topics. It really helps me understand his story and everything he went through on a deeper level.

"Be open-minded enough that it's not a full stop" that's beautiful

"A mind full of conclusions has no room for expansion."

As a someone who was raised in mainstream Mormonism, I can’t believe the amount of strength it took to leave. It was hard enough for me.

This really made me question my relationship with my religion. And I’m so much better for it! I already know I’m leaving organized religion. I’m not leaving my relationship with my God because I enjoy it and it helps me understand life better, but I am done with the church. All the hypocrisies have hurt so many. I like Gandhi’s quote “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Really love this one Anthony, thank you for the amazing content!

Please continue making these one on one interviews! They are so eye opening to different experiences. I appreciate Calvin sharing his story so intimately, his authenticity is refreshing

I'd be interested to know how many of his siblings have also managed to break free and how many remain in the cult. And what is his relationship like now with those siblings still in the cult, also with his mother/s

The moment he broke into tears, recalling what should have been a beautiful family moment… and the way that his father manipulated the situation and his feelings to make him calm down and think it was ok. I feel for the women in this story, and for this man and all the other children. These individual interviews are so powerful, thank you sir for sharing your story. ❤️

I'm really happy you made this episode and I loved the interviewee

I love how Calvin is sitting in the chair while talking it's so nice

as someone who has a bachelor in philosophy and is going to get a master in the same thing, I almost cried hearing this man speaking about his wake up call.

"your dad is your hero" *tears up* Damn... My heart broke right there

I had goosebumps when he start to recount the Allegory of the Cave. I had a wave of nostalgia from my Philosophy class

This is legitimately one of the best interviews I've ever seen. Wow!

Ok note on his children’s book, I looked at the cover an it looks so darn cute! I might get it for my friend. She is close to having her second baby.

As they say, no one goes into a pot of boiling water. This adage is true for relationships and cults.

The way that Calvin explained everything was amazing. I’m so proud of him. Absolutely brilliant

Thank you so much for making these videos Anthony, the world needs it!

The way he described toxicty was spot on, whether it's regarding communities or individual relationships. Growing up, I lived in a toxic home. My father was extremely emotionally absuive and negligent, and gaslit me into believing I was a selfish, evil person who ruined everything I touched and didn't deserve to be loved, nevermind alive. I was only 5. I got out of that situation when I was 12, but didn't have the guts to tell him how I felt or cut him off until now, when I'm almost 18. Even though I knew it was the right decision, part of me still feels guilty because like Calvin said, it wasn't all bad. I still doubt myself and the validity of my decisions constantly. But I have to remind myself that him being nice for the past two years doesn't make up for the 9 years of abuse (and the anxiety, depression, and self hatred that followed). TLDR, It's really hard to leave a toxic situation. No matter what, some part of you will always believe the gaslighting, believe you're in the wrong, believe you deserve the trauma you've been put through, or believe they'll change. But they never will.