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When I got married (am now divorced) the groom insisted during the entire planning stage that he wanted there to be cake smashing involved at the wedding, despite my protests every step of the way. My dress was the most expensive part of our wedding, and I put so much time and effort into my hair and makeup that if I got cake smashed, the reception would be over. I'd rather leave than try and recover. We eventually decided to have our guests put donations in jars with our names on them and whoever's jar had the most money when we went to cut the cake would get smashed. That way it was a 50/50 shot and he would have to take the risk of losing instead of it being guaranteed to be me. He lost, despite spending a lot of time at the reception convincing his family to put money in my jar. I don't know why it was so important to him, it's not even funny, but I'm grateful that at the end of the day, he was the one with cake on his face and he realized exactly why that isn't a cute, fun, nice thing to do.

Interesting how the women are playful and the men are AGGRESSIVE. How are these behaviors overlooked to the point of agreeing to marriage?

SAFETY WARNING: a lot of cakes have toothpicks or rods in them for support and people have gone blind from blunt force trauma of a support to the eyeball

Kurtis invited me to his wedding and then actually threw his wedding cake in my face and did a kick flip over me before feeding me to some wolves. Pretty solid wedding honestly 9/10

my favorite part about the cake smashing stuff is that when the bride does it first you can actually see the moment the groom feels emasculated and decides to completely obliterate his new wife in order to establish dominance

I dated a wedding photographer years ago. She would check in on couples afterwards to see if they wanted to do another shoot, and genuine interest. She said that 100% of the couples she worked with who smashed cake into each other's faces got divorced.

I went to my best friend’s wedding recently. The groom was trying and failing the whole ceremony to hold back tears and had a VERY used handkerchief in his pocket for the whole thing. When the bride started to choke up, he pulled out his clean pocket square to give to her so she wouldn’t mess up her make up and then took it back and neatly folded it up and put it in his other pocket just in case she needed it. And then there’s these assholes…

ugh the husbands who don't respect their wives telling them to stop remind me of my dad. if he's jokingly doing something to annoy my mom or me and we tell him to stop he gets so offended. it's alarming how many men can't handle being told no even when someone is setting a simple boundary that should be easy to respect

Former wedding industry worker here: most grooms I encountered do this bc they feel invincible on their wedding day and think since they got the bride to marry they can do whatever they want and she won’t leave him

The bar has been lowered so far down that having a guy not assault you with cake is considered a catch.

i fully believe the cake face smashing to be fully about power dynamics. especially if the bride surprised the groom by doing it, the groom’s cake smash HAS to be bigger and more embarrassing for her to put her back in place.

Read about a bride who requested to not have cake shown in her face because of trauma. Her whole childhood, her family would ruin her birthday by pressing cake in her face. No matter how often she told them that it upsets her. So she begged to at least have her wedding day without a cake in the face, yet her husband did it anyways to ”get closer to her family”. She did not continue that relationship.

Funny thing is that, alot of wedding goers and photographers have said that whenever a groom ruins the wedding (cake smashing and shitty vows), the chances of divorce is super super high.

It’s kinda ironic how when it comes to weddings, it’s mostly the brides who are seen as the crazy, insufferable ones, that stress everyone out, just for wanting to have a nice wedding, while it’s almost always the men who are out here acting a fool

I think grooms that do this resent their brides consciously or unconsciously. The groom crosses boundaries and ignores their bride's wishes in most of the scenarios because there was already a discussion that the face caking is a no-go. It's like a behavioural Freudian Slip.

I told my mum about this and said "if someone did thst to me id get a divorce" and she went "why go through divorce when you could be a widow" (Specifically the cake stuff)

Fun fact, the cake smashing is a sign for future abuse and/or divorce. At least in the case where the bride specifically asks the groom not to do it and he does anyway. It shows a lack of respect for boundaries and a need to display dominance. It’s a BAD sign unless it was planned or gentle.

I read about a bride and groom where the groom shoved a huge piece of cake into his bride's face. She had asked him not to do this and he promised her that he wouldn't, but he did it anyway and laughed at her. The bride then announced that reception was over and everyone should take their gifts back as she was getting an annulment. AND SHE DID! That very smart lady dumped his lying ass as fast as possible. Major props to her!

the cake part reminds me of guys who keep coming up with scenarios where theyd be allowed to hit a woman. The husbands saw an opportunity where its "socially acceptable" and ran with it.

Dude on his phone better be texting his mom who’s in the hospital and telling her how happy he is to married to his wife.

There’s a huge correlation between the cake smash and divorce. I remember reading wedding photographers tells if the wedding will last. And all of them said if the groom smashes the cake on the brides face it’s over. It’s absolutely to humiliate her in my opinion.

Any time a man says something super inappropriate and someone tries to justify it by saying “that’s just his personality :)!!!” I hear nothing but alarm bells in my head

That poor woman excusing those horrible wedding vows… the way he belittles her and publicly degrades her and she defends it as “his sense of humour”. It will take time to recognise abuse in a relationship. I hope she gets there soon.

On my moms wedding my stepdad slightly pished the cake on her nose a bit and she was smiling the entire time and did the same to him. There is absolutely no reason for your bride or groom to be on the floor from it

I once went to a wedding where the bride’s father passed away so she danced with her brother and as this nice and sentimental dance was happening, the groom ran up to her and smashed cake in her face. the bride actually laughed it off but I was disgusted. and yes they are still together

As someone who's planning a wedding I can't fathom the financial decision of tossing an entire wedding cake at someone in a wedding dress.

The cake smashing thing bums me out. Feeding each other is the simplest gesture of trust between two people.

It's assault. These men should be in jail, wedding annulled.

What really scares me is how quick the groom goes insane. In all of those cake smash videos, the bride only puts a tiny piece on the groom's face, yet the groom immediatly yanks the whole cake and throws it at the bride. Like, what is your problem? They're so quick to turn to violence instead of just laughing it off and throwing a tiny piece back

These men absolutely HATE their wives. Them being physically violent to the bride for a laugh is such a red flag

I just wanted to remind yall of a potential nightmare that lots of tiered cakes have RODS in them to keep them straight. You can blind someone smashing a cake into someones face. Like. Blind your bride!!!!

What breaks my heart is I know these women have been dreaming about their weddings for their entire lives. I know that everyone of those women had everything planned in great detail, probably since she was a kid. One of the major things we dream about is what our wedding cake will look like taste like, who bakes it, how big its is, etc. so for them to destroy it like that is truly astounding.

I work in weddings, and I’ve heard vendors say that if a groom smashes a cake in the bride’s face, it’s a telltale sign that the marriage won’t last

as a baker the only thing i can think when i see those men throwing entire wedding cakes at their wives is that its dangerous as fuck. wedding cakes have wooden dowels and supports to hold their weight, they can take your eye out (and yes, people have legitimately been stabbed in the eye from this before)

The saddest part is, this is probably just the tip of the iceberg. If he behaves like this on his wedding day, with everyone looking, imagine behind closed doors 🤐

When my mom and my ex-stepdad got married he shoved a whole cake in her face. She ran to the bathroom and cried while the women in my family tried to fix her hair, face, and dress. I ran to my then stepdad and told him he hurt my mom while I myself was on the verge of tears for her (I was like 6). I still think about that moment occasionally. He turned out to be a drunk and abusive...so I guess it was foreshadowing.

As a professional wedding cake decorator smashing someone’s face into the cake is incredibly dangerous. We put supports in there to hold each tier up shoving someone’s face into that cake could very well lead to a hospital visit. You spend thousands on cakes, makeup, dress, hair etc. don’t start a marriage by ruining any of those for a laugh. Trust me, no one’s actually laughing.

I'm sure I saw an AITA where a woman talked about having asked her husband not to smash the cake in her face at the reception. He did it anyway she immediately filed for divorce. You have *got* to be able to trust your spouse, no matter the situation. Very much feeling the wedding-day-behaviour-is-a-litmus-test statement.

On a positive note, Curtis' wedding photos are awesome. They both looked amazing and no cake fight. Congrats.

My husband and I, gay wedding lol, had a very normal and orderly wedding party. We actually made most everything, including the cake. He's vegan, I'm not. But at least I know vegan food is real food. We made a home made vegan tiramisu that was to die for. And, nobody died for it either. Win-win

A groom freaking out about a little cake on his face and going ballistic is the epitome of “women are afraid men will kill them, men are afraid women will laugh at them”

The ones where the bride is literally backed up into a corner, clearly asking the groom to stop, and he smashes the cake into her face hard enough that she falls back and he's still smearing it when she fell, GENUINELY triggers me. That's quite literally assault, idc what anyone says.

If a man smashes a cake into your face at such a special day in front of others, its not a sense of humor. Its humiliation. He sees his woman as a thing that he has to tolerate just to use her for his convenience. He hates her. He wants to show that she is more interested in the wedding than him. That he's just decided to do this so she would stop annoying him about it. There is nothing funny about destroying hours of make up and hair and expensive dress on your women's special day. I cannot imagine seeing my partner being so beautiful and festive and just disrespect her by ruining her look.

A lot of people have commented about the safety concerns of cake supports being thrown around, and Kurtis mentioned how crazy expensive the cakes can be, but also I can't stop thinking about how long it must have taken these women to get ready with their hair, makeup, and dress, all to look beautiful on their wedding day, just to have cake smashed into all that hard work. Like what next? Do they have a change of clothes? Do they have to wash their face and hair? Or do they just get to spend the rest of the night covered in bits of cake and frosting that's just gonna end up getting sticky. I would be absolutely livid.

This just goes to prove how much men act on pure emotion. “Women are so emotional” *a man throws a cake at his wife after she stuffs some in his mouth*

the fact that kurtis just uses his green screen to make him marry himself instead of just asking jenna is so fucking funny man i love him his humor is the best

jesus the bride is always like "hehe i got cake on ur face!" and then hERE COMES THE GROOM WITH THE STEEL CHAIR-

Fun fact about the smashing cake in your face. I found out that there was a study done on that. They found out that if the couple smashed cake in their faces most of those couples ended up divorced

I think the bad groom behaviour is a mixture of the man-child 'pay attention to me' and a 'for the bros' mentality where weddings are deemed to be another frivolous girly thing (and like all girly things, inherently silly and wasteful) that grooms are forced to endure, so they "joke" around "for the bros" to win their social approval, establish a sense of dominance and get to be the centre of attention while also punishing their wife for her "silly girly indulgence". Especially with the cake smash where they ruin her expensive makeup, dress and any later photos, as well as the expensive cake, which are all still considered to be feminine things. They don't ruin the booze or the rest of the reception, or prank their best man or ruin the buck's night, which are just fun guy stuff. Even during the wedding, these guys don't respect their brides

God, the cake shoving thing makes me incredibly annoyed. Not only is it horribly disrespectful, especially since the wives are usually trying to get away, but having your makeup professionally done is EXPENSIVE

it's concerning how aggressive these dudes get with their wives as soon as they're given the opportunity

If my partner shoved cake in my face, after in specifically told them not to. And ruining my dress and make up, I got all nice and done up for the day. I’m getting an anullement straight up. And they can pay for the wedding they ruined and not getting. That’s a massive red flag and they can deal with the fact they ruined their chances at love

There’s this story about “the shortest marriage”, which lasted three minutes because after saying their vows, the groom and bride began to walk together down the aisle and the bride tripped. The groom laughed at her and she ended up filing for divorce then and there.

There was a groom that shoved his bride's face INTO the cake. He didn't know that there were wooden skewers in it to hold up the layers and he nearly put her eye straight through one. It missed by less than an inch but they stabbed her face in several places. She was bleeding like crazy and I think needed stitches. She divorced him when she was out of the hospital. The pictures of her face were BAD.

I absolutely loath cake smashing, I remember for my 14th birthday my friends smashed my birthday cake on my face without warning and it ruined my whole day especially when everyone was laughing at my expense. I don't talk to any of them anymore but I have stopped celebrating my birthday with others ever since . I just buy myself a small cake and go to restaurant to eat by myself to enjoy my day without those vindictive and vile people ruining my peace.

10:27 - genuinely looks like assault Dude beat her to the ground

Really sad to see these women dealing with bullshit from their partners and feeling like they have to rationalize and defend their husband's behavior. 🙄

The groom's one job: don't mess up the wedding. It's like being handed a glass slipper and accidentally turning it into a pumpkin

this is a common phenomenon where women will want to play around or play fight with their boyfriend or a guy friend and they feel the need to show complete dominance over the situation to the point where its really scary as you realize they're overpowering you and you can't get away from them, and they won't back down. but they'll act like it was just a silly thing afterward. i see a lot of women talking about it and before i transitioned it was a very real traumatizing experience i had with some family as well.

My parents had a very casual wedding when I was a kid. They flew to New York, got married there non religiously (it was a much easier process there than here in Ireland, at least back then), and when they got home we had a bit of a party at a pub. They had no ceremony, they wanted something simple. I was about four at the time, and even though since it was at a pub everyone got inevitably shitfaced nothing went wrong. Sure, my mom was drunkenly dancing and my dad was having conversations with the pub owner’s dog but nobody disrespected the other. That’s the important part. You can get drunk, you can be silly or make jokes, but don’t be a jackass to your spouse! The idea of actively disrespecting your spouse at your wedding is so ironic, the whole point of getting married is to show your dedication to the other.

The fact that that woman ran away and begged him not to, for him to proceed to do it so hard she hits her head on the wall and falls down☠️ I would immediately annul that marriage.

the fact that the couple from the shrek themed wedding probably have a better marriage than ANYONE who appeared in this video is astounding

The cake smashing thing is actually very dangerous. Because bakers use wooden dowels to hold together tiered cakes. If you smash someone's face into a cake like that they could get impaled in the face with one of those dowels. I believe someone lost an eye that way.

I’m a wedding DJ in my free time and my coworkers and I will rip on grooms who refuse to dance with their brides. It makes me so sad sometimes honestly

My mom always had this sort of superstition that couples who smashed cake in each other’s faces would end up getting divorced and in our experience she hasn’t been wrong about that

Ruining an almost painfully expensive cake, full face bridal makeup, bridal dress AND your reputation on your wedding day?? We love a husband who lacks financial, social and emotional awareness 😍💗

The guy at 4:24 pisses me off so much. It’s such a blatant display of him saying “look how unimportant this is to me!” Like, my brother in Christ, why are you GETTING MARRIED if you don’t care?!

He did that to that cake on purpose, his expression doesn't change until the guests react poorly, going silent and making a "what the hell?" type comment, /then/ suddenly he changes his expression to "I have no idea what I did!"

Uhhhhh.... The man forcefully throwing an entire cake at his wife's head is actually scary. You could see his expression change to actual rage after she smushed the little slice on his cheek. I'm actually concerned for how he is behind closes doors.

My aunt had her cake thrown at her during her wedding to her now-ex husband. One of the wooden dowels in the cake hit her in the eye, and she spent her wedding night in the hospital while the groom partied.

These dudes are the same ones who make “I hate my wife” jokes

13:40 My absolute favourite part in this video has to be him picking up that bottle of beer acting all confused after he literally destroyed that cake.

These instances are not about "ruining" the wedding. They are displays of power, rage and resentment. These men want to humiliate their brides in front of everyone, and to do it in a way where the woman will feel pressured to go along with it and laugh it off. It's even worse that none of the onlookers seem to be calling this behavior out, further gaslighting the bride. This is also emotional and physical abuse, assault, and battery. So many of these women beg the men "please don't do this", "no", etc - and the men still do it. If you changed the context, this would be very, very obvious. Some of these men shove and push the women so forcefully, they basically push them to the ground. If you remove the layer of the cake between the man's hand and the woman's body, you would see a man putting his hands on a woman aggressively and without her consent in front of a crowd of people. Destroying an expensive cake that she clearly put a lot of thought into isn't much better - intentional destruction of a person's property is also abuse. This whole thing is honestly sick. It terrifies me to think what these men do behind closed doors. For anyone reading this - a person who truly loves, values and respects you will never put their hands on you without your consent, and especially not when you have asked them not to. They won't even dream of intentionally doing anything that hurts you. Violence, pain and fear do not equal love.

Imagine paying that much for a wedding and shit like this happens💀💀💀

My understanding is that feeding each other the cake used to symbolize and demonstrate their promise to nurture each other physically and emotionally. These assholes promised to love, cherish, an honor her literally 3 hours earlier. Feel SO sorry for these brides and am glad to hear that at least some of them kick him to the curb with a husband less honeymoon and an annulment.

I got married nearly right when this video was posted, and I’m so glad my husband didn’t do any of these things lol he’s just a calm man that matches my energy. We didn’t want a huge ceremony or huge crowd and definitely didn’t want any additional attention drawn to us than was already directed at us, and seeing it get so close to literal physical harm and completely inappropriate speeches makes me so thankful. If they’re happy that’s what matters but certainly not my taste. On a happier note, you guys are a gorgeous couple! Thanks for sharing some of your wedding photos with us Kurtis :)

There’s is something so violent & disturbing about the way these men are SO forceful over a bit of cake

someone else pointed it out in the comments but i’d like to echo it: isn’t it funny (infuriating) how brides are typically portrayed as unreasonable during weddings, like bridezillas, but theres no equivalent for unreasonable, awful, borderline to straight up ab*sive grooms, even though this kinda stuff is like.. super common?

“BLOODY CAKE SMASH 🇬🇧💂‍♀️”

Guy Fieri once officiated 101 weddings at once in honour of his sister and he wore the most amazing purple suit to do so.

i also read about this woman who divorced her husband a literal day after their wedding because he smashed her face into the cake *even after* she repeatedly insisted she didn't want him doing that, and honestly? i don't blame her one bit. the wedding day is the one day where you can shine not only for your beauty, but also for the love a couple supposedly shares for one another, so if your partner can't respect that you don't want any shenanigans happening that day, maybe you're better off without him!!

i took a marriage and family class at my college and fun fact: people who smash the cake in the partners face are statistically wayyyy more likely to get divorced

why is no one talking about the man getting breast fed by his mom 💀 how long has this been happening, WHY IS IT HAPPENING? HOW DID SHE EVEN HAVE MILK?

Men NEED to realize how dangerous smacking cake into a persons face can be especially if it’s a home baker or a large cake. I’ve seen a wooden dowel go into a persons eye! And a girl get a gash on her face from the support between layers when he threw the whole top smh

Okay okay but can we talk about how fucking cool Jenna and Kurtis look? Like their photos look like an aesthetic 70s glam photoshoot and I’m HERE for it

The feeding each other cake is a symbolism of how you are going to treat and care for your partner. So smashing the cake into their face... says some words.

The bride and groom at 10:25 - there’s no way that dude isn’t physically and verbally abusive. The bride wasn’t “joking” in any manner - he HITS her face with that stupid cake after literally cornering her. And she is displaying genuine fear, holding her arms out and pleading with him to stop - then he clocks her beautifully made-up face and hair with a fist full of cake. What an absolute creep.

that vid of the guy on his phone makes my heart hurt, i know she was sick to her stomach

there's nothing like being physically overpowered and humiliated by your husband on your wedding day

If my new husband felt comfortable enough to shove me to the ground to be able to get cake on me in front of a group of our closest family and friends I would immediately be out of there. That is not someone who I’m going to be safe with for the rest of my life

I’m so glad I married a man that loves me and doesn’t think borderline abusing me in front of people is fun. Like some of these guys are really intense with the cake; like it feels abusive to watch 😅

I would also like to add on the “Come on Cody” to this argument

The cake smashing tradition is low key concerning cause anytime I see one where the wife clearly says "Please don't smash cake on my face" and then they still smash the cake in there face it shows me the husband has no boundaries for consent.

Kurtis is evolving from an 80s dad to a Barbie movie pony. All with love keep it up man

My partner and I make spicy jokes to each other a bunch, but if he did shit like that during our wedding, i'd be walking out before saying "I do"

"when two dudes get married, gay style" jfkskd I am cackling

the "post cake smash clarity" is so fucking funny like the bride is just bewildered probably saying "why...did you do that" and he's just shamefully like "uh...idk"

I want to mention how dangerous smashing or throwing the full cake can be. My aunt runs a business that makes wedding cakes and I’ve helped her a lot growing up, and if some cakes or decorations are so big they need to have dowels, (which is basically like some small poles to help support and distribute the weight on the cake). Some are made out of harder materials than others obviously, some of the main dowels my aunt used for a while were made out of wood. There’s also different thicknesses that dowels are used in depending on the size of the wedding cake, so it can be dangerous smashing or throwing a cake because of the dowels.

The world would be real advanced if everybody could see red flags like these before marrying said flag.