Loved his talk! Summary I made for myself: We are fearful of speaking up because we feel we lack power. Ways we can gain power is being an advocate for others, seeking advice for our accomplishments, having allies and having evidence on a topic/passion.

bullet-points from this excellent talk (on how to expand your range of acceptable behavior): - take perspective - signal flexibility - gain allies - ask others for advice - display expertise - show passion

Presentation Notes and time stamps: We each have a range of acceptable behavior: Your power determines your range. 3:50 When we have lots of power we have wide range but when lack of power range is narrow. 4:25 Gender Double bind 4:45 Gender double bind is really a low power double bind Expand your range by (1) seeming powerful in your own eyes and (2) when you seem powerful in the eyes of others. --- 6:10 Advocate for others - "The mama bear effect" --- 7:00 Advocate for self - “Perspective Taking” --- 9:20 Signal Flexibility - Be assertive but still likable - Give options. --- 10:20 Get allies (via mama bear effect or…) --- 10:40 Ask for advice (solves self-promotion double bind) --- 11:50 Display expertise (makes us feel more comfortable speaking up / expands our range/power)((Show Passion)) When we tap into our passion, we give ourselves the confidence in our own eyes to speak up, but we also give others permission to do the same.

When i sit in class and people are having a fun conversation i just sit in silence

Unfortunately, many get dismissive and unsupportive when they see this fire & light in you. They get envious and want you to stoop to their level...thank you so much for this wonderful speech!!

When you use these tools, you expand your range of acceptable behavior & your days will be mostly JOYFUL! Thank you, Adam, great talk! Cheers!

Powerful! I feel it helps to look at the perspective that we are speaking up for ourselves not only to get something in the outside world, but also for ourselves to be true to ourselves and authentic. Meaning that if we say something and then we get turned down at least we didn't turn ourselves down by not even standing up for ourselves.. So, by speaking up for ourselves we say say YES to ourselves no matter what the outcome will be.

Seek advice from others humbly, expand your boundaries etc. are the statements spoken by you are really good to come strangers from their comfort zone and to be recognized

I didn't think that someone would answer such a question, don't know why It is a big problem in my life now and he answered it excellently!! Thank you very much

Thank you Adam. Great talk and valuable advice.

The range of acceptability includes the expectations of people, who think it is their job to keep you inside their perceived range of acceptability, while being extremely contradictionary to their own claimed range and dismissing your testimony, silencing your voice and punishing you, by sabotaging your life with theft, lies and deception. While claiming that justice has been served and exalt themselves as the fulfiller of justice by the ordination of torment for something you did not do, longer than the civil laws would have convicted you for the alleged crime, never admitting they made a mistake. But punishing you further for their unreasonability, not bowing down to their false reality construct.

Excellent! I have a friend and colleague who personify everything you said. It truly works! And I love her!

This is a great speech on negotiating. A few takeaways.

Such a great speech. Thank you.

Wow amazing, One of the best talks!

Power packed talk. Just what I needed ! Love your dad's speach. Thank you

Excellent & Insightful :) Thank you so much for sharing Adam!

Dude explaining speech like chemistry

oh my gosh this is so true I can advocate for others but not for myself.

I finally got the explanation. Thank you for the great talk and content!

I destroyed the most amazing relationship with an amazing person because its difficult for me to speak up

This talk was very informative and gave me great tools and confirmed what I wondered about as correct choices in using my range in different situations. Thank you. I will keep this talk to revisit over & over. Perfect!

Excellent Talk

I was told by a former coworker from my former workplace that I was hands down the most likable guy they ever had working there. Makes some sense now as I often asked people about advice about everything.. Where to get my car fixed, what to make for dinner, how to pack for traveling, what to do if this and that was leaking etc.

This is a great speech!

Simply WOW!!

The perception of value that your image reflects in another would be the first impact that increases its power.

Takeaway: It's all about perspective.

Timing is everything

This is one of the best ones I’ve heard in a while.

I think that there were too many Jargons in this content filled, useful talk

That was awesome!!!

Very good! Makes sense!

Great insights!

Thats good to read there are so much people in the world who feel the same way like I do

I did the E-test correct (wrote the mirrored one with my finger on the forehead). Will I get a cookie? Anyone? Please... Joke aside - great speech. Learned a lot.

This is probably very much true, but also very much sad in the sense that it limits human realationships to such a mechanistic level. There is love beside this, don't oversee it.

You simplified power dynamics very well thank you

I don’t know how to find comfort in things that are good for me

Great insight--thanks!

Conformist yields conformist Rebels yield rebels You have to change into a into a rebel but that is kinda hard not only because of your parents but just because you will get ridiculed into submission

Discrimination is also a form of retaliation

thank you !! :)

Great talk!

O this was great and enlightening, needed it!!!! Thank you so much!!!!! 😊

Great!

This talk is very informative, but I need to specify, organize refine my own opinion in general at first hand so that I can speak up for something.

Loved it! Thanks.

Be a ferocious mama bear, and a humble advice seeker. Have excellent evidence and strong allies. Be a passionate perspective taker.

I wished I knew abt this long time ago.

great perspective thank you

Полезно, спасибо за перевод

Thank you 💗

R.I.P to your father 🤧💯

very good

So brilliantly true .... thank you .. outlining the truth .. powerful, poignant . Caring lessons to enlightenment 😘

Great talk! :) :)

Great talk

Are they any articles published on that subject yet?

Deep ..

My motivation I AM SPEED

I'm too nice sometimes!

This was one of the most interesting and insightful talks I have ever seen. I really loved how it tapped into the perspectives of sociology and talked about sexism and used the ideas of Marxism to explain the behaviour of women in a certain situation. Then used this perpective for how we can speak up. I will defently being watching the again, Thank you.

How did you get that jacket made? Obviously a bespoke creation and a wonderful one!

This is the video I need for my life (I’m shy)

i'm sorry but to have your senario's work , you must have at least one person for support. i notice you have a brother and family. thats very nice. good luck all

Y You

Speak up on behalf of the powerless, then your conscience will be clear.

No. This talk discounts real and actual problems speaking up . It just skims through. And some pitfalls are missed. For example, I suffered from being humble in office. It doesn't work when a woman is humble before a man. Some f these things are not addressed and they are in fact complex.

Great piece of advice, thank you sir

I love "world insight" from people who begin by stating they've dropped another kid into this world.

Крутой мужик

Great

What can I do if I feel like when I listen to someone's passion I just don't care and feel like I don't want to listen to them?

Why does he sounds like Arthur Fleck aka Joker?

Looking for a way to talk about my suicidal thoughts to my family or maybe a counselor instead...but I just cant seem to speak up. It's getting worse though and I need and WANT to end the silence.

I'm the 1000th like!

Given the censorship being launched on certain voices today, this is still valid.

Something about his speech bothers me; first, I couldn’t help but feel he’s dismissing the problem women have about speaking up and being assertive and second, it seems that what he’s advising is be altruistic and seek other’s help and approval to be able to say what needs to be said, which is contradictory. Being able to speak on your behalf should be based on your confidence in your expertise and experience and to be strong in your stance. Wether you get rejected or not is beside the point, at least you spoke up.

Đây là comment mà các bạn có thể phản hồi và tương tác.

Is it just me or does he sound like Lin Manuel Miranda? Anybody?

Interesting points however I don’t agree with his assessment about the differences between men and women and the power differential which results either going unnoticed or rejected. As long as we live in a patriarchal society we will always experience sexism and double standards. I have been fortunate to work for some of the most incredible and enlightened male bosses ever. I’ve also worked for some who were small and dismissive. On the one hand we have to be self-aware as to how we are coming across when we speak up. Assuming we have done the work to make sure we are to the point, respectful, open, intentional, etc. then how we are received or perceived really is on the other person. Many people are too insecure to handle people speaking up especially a woman speaking up with assertiveness. While others are open and accommodating and genuinely interested. There is no doubt that women are held to a very different standard which is not comprehended in this talk.

He sort of sounds like Olaf to me!

This man's examples are so full of unconscious sexist bias, as he puts forward his arguments that I'm unfortunately finding it not of any use in referring it to my clients.

self confidence? or you want to please society ?

My biggest fear: Not completing my BS program in Psychology @ Loyola University

:(

I don't know, it seems a bit complicated and cynical

How you crying

Talking is easy. Doing it in real life is difficult.

"women who speaks up get punished" wew... 🖖🤪😂

help I can't stop pressing 2 X''''D

The word is advocate with a "D" ;-)

8:45 , am I the only one who finds the bank robbery story far-fetched? What bank robber is going to walk back with the manager and fill out papers? Their handwriting will be on record and the police have time to come arrest him. I trust that this guy isn't lying but is the story true?

Shepherd's Chapel Network !!!!!!! Pastor Murray is an Anointed Servant of GOD who teaches the Word of GOD with Authority!!!!!!!

Jesus loves you

probably it has a diplomatic reason to not speaking up. aber wenns sein muss dann sag was sache ist. kann dir ja scheissegal sein was der andere denkt, du bist ja nicht wegen seinen gefühlen dort wo du bist sondern vermutlich wegen einer dienstleistung und die verdammte dienstleistung sollte verdammt nochmal gut sein.

Was I the only one who thought he low-key look similar to RDJ .....just lacks hair....

You become a parent and you freak out? What a Whuzzzzzzzzz... hahaha

He sounds like a young Bill Gates