Don't turn a THOUGHT into a story. ?

@@marlenechicoine4005 I think the feelings precede the thoughts, but they're less accessible/pre-cognitive/out of awareness, so the brain tries to deal with them by turning them into ruminations or stories.

Our brain can really form narratives

But that's how I cope

If we don't have a story it means we will not do the introspection and we will avoid something. This is a symptom of narcissism. We'd better say "don't turn a feeling into a BAD story".

Love this!! ❤❤👍👍👍

@@user-im8xw6xh1l some suffer more in reality than imagination

No, I actually suffer more in reality... that's why I daydream

Bullshit. I never imagine being beaten and strangled by my husband.

That's so naive and unrealistic 😂

I'm sorry you are feeling so low with depression. Perhaps reach out to someone like a Doctor. Or Get a referral to Counsellor. I do hope you receive the help you need to start feeling better and able to cope with your problem.Best wishes xx

@gazelle3635 you couldn't have said it better. I'm in the same situation. It IS my fault. I made my bed and now I have to live in it. I want a magic wand. 😢

​@@koskap35if u don't have financial means and you are older there are not as many choices.

I'd LOVE to know what I "did wrong?!" I'm 53 years-old. I had a nice life until I got long haul Covid and had to move in with my parents. My father and I don't get along. Three years ago he started recording me on my phone. Just 'cuz. One day I tried to grab the phone out of his hand and my fingernail scratched him, making him BARELY bleed. He actually called the police on me. Since he's 77 years-old they deemed it ELDER ABUSE. I've been going to court now for THREE YEARS. I can't find a job. I can't even volunteer anywhere. So now I'm literally STUCK living with him.... can't find work. Have no money. My car just died on me. I've had depression and anxiety my whole life. This isn't making it better and I'm at a loss...

Same, friends! I’m stuck in a very toxic situation. Had to move back to my narcissistic mother and enabler of a dad bc of being BROKE! I literally considered going into prostitution so I don’t have to go back to the birth place of all my traumas but then I was like: yeah no. It’s so unfair that money controls our lives and influences our destiny. There are solutions but they are not the ones we would like. I guess the first step to get out of that 💩 is to first find a job where we are, even if it’s flipping burgers 12 hours a day. And find ways to cope with the stuff that makes us feel good (for me it’s music and watching musicals). You’ll feel so much better if you just leave the house during the day!!! Toxicity is like a rampant fungus. The more you’re around, the more it grows on you. And in you!!!

The bible and other philosophical teachings say that you must bring you thought life into captivity. Because your mind has a will of its own. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

That’s wrong. Validate everything you think

@@atheistbewildered2987 What principles are you validating you thoughts on.???

Sure, gaslight yourself. But then again I did lie to myself by thinking people liked me as much as I liked them or hard work and honesty will earn me respect.

​​​@@sparklemotion8377 oh dear, giving up did me no good too you know? Guess what the gaslighting you did to yourself is better than me saying "Dude you are a failure just stop trying" I think it's a better approach to life just not trusting the thoughts of the brain. But hardworking, honesty and being a good human being as a recipe to live a life? Hell yeah. Keep your head up!

I hope that these videos truly help you. For me though I'm currently doing ACT treatment with the VA and my therapist is the best I've ever had and I have more hope today than ever. I find these and other videos are a supplement for me during this time in therapy and I think they'll continue in that role post therapy. My point here isn't to argue with you but to say find what works for you and keep searching for your path to healing. I like these videos too and it's no surprise to hear others out there like and find them helpful as well. I'm feeling hopeful this morning and I hope you're feeling good and wish you well on your continued healing.

@@dalejones9150 that's great! I'm glad things are working out for you and that your mental health is improving.

@@dalejones9150 Many don't because like myself they feel its to late and they are to old. I don't know how you do it bro. I get on edge and dangerous when talking about the past and personal issues. For me that's up close and personal. Knife fighting territory.

Every therapist is different. This one always makes a lot of sense to me in ways that others haven't. It's just the luck of the draw.

Is that like when feeling good and positive is a foreign feeling.??

And then we actually reinforce those stories through our behavior and choices

And this is exactly where I am

@@juggles5474 It takes approx 28 days to form a habit that can last a life time. Evern if you break the physical habit it can take another 30 days to break the physiological habit. but if that habit has been linked to dopamine response.?? up to a year to reprogram and replace with positive habits. And for a lot of guys doing it by themselves, that's a up hill battle.

But it's possible! ❤

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

Is he on instagram?

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

So true. I've found out. I blame myself for foolishly retiring from the career job I really loved!. I got anxiety and depression from this, and told myself with passion, how much I hated myself. Using the most hateful words.! I don't like anything anymore, not even hobbies I used to enjoy. It's like I hate myself so much now. I'm unable to forgive myself for all the mistakes ive made in my life. Im living in misery. Your comment was true. 😢

​@@klanderkalyou were dancing into a depression. Get out of there. Now. Better your life. Stop crying.

@@truffaut650truffaut6 Thanks, If there were a switch to turn off the pain , and suffering, Anxiety sucks, insomnia sucks, depression Sucks!I would have flicked the switch months ago. I didn't know . I thought everyday would be like " a day off".. I was wrong. 3 weeks after, days off weren't fun anymore. I wanted to go back to my routes, passengers, coworkers. I lost my purpose, identity , etc. Depression is so horrible.! It takes all desires to do anything . And , for example .. I loved to get coffee, workout, and go swimming EVERYDAY. With depression ... I lost interest and enjoyment for all. I don't even enjoy TV , music anymore???!!!. It's so unbearable living like this. I WISH, I could just be normal as I was, doing the activities and hobbies I used to enjoy., and enjoying my young adult children , and friends, neighbors as before! ... I want to snap out of this. I was told I'm grieving. My mental and physical health are declining too...! I don't want that either. But,... the illness of depression just don't dissappear. I tried working out last week, but didn't enjoy and felt uncomfortable with no interest .. I went to the beach to try my swim as before. I wasn't even happy to be there??, I tried to swim... and just stopped, had no pleasure , or drive. That's how bad this depression is. I ruined my life by retiring from a job I loved of 30 years. I was institutionalized, and didn't know it.

Such a great way of describing my brain 😂. I do try not to be that person, but my brain just does not want to comply.

“Why am I the way that I am?” “Because one long winter my great great great grandfather didn’t store enough potatoes.”

@@DrScottEilers or one long winter my great great great grandfather did store enough potatoes while those around him didn't 😁. In my case my great great great (maybe another great or two) grandfather moved to South Africa for his breathing problems. Guess who now has breathing problems?

@@GingerBiPolarBear SAME

Being a 'VINO' is a real CON thing, for narcs, (they're 'Victims' In Name Only.)

🎉🎉congrats !!! I / we matter !! 😊

And now you're the pied piper and draw crowds wherever you go?

Beautifully put 🤗

But how when the things I tell myself about myself are true? 🙃

The brain CAN / will lie from emotional wound !! 😑😑 🙄

& KNOW WHAT gaslighting is!!, when it happens it could be easy to not notice !!

Easier said than done sometimes, especially when the 'truthful' things you've been told to believe about yourself for essentially your whole life turn out to be nothing but hot air & false convictions, with the only recompense available from that point of realisation onwards to try to be successful, because you sure as hell aren't going to receive an apology from anyone...mostly because the bulk of people, due to 'common sense', still seem to think you're faulty. Oh well, and as they say, it is what it is...which fortunately I know I'm not any longer, even if many others don't agree.

❤

I’m at the same exact point. I think some of it comes from fear which leads to self sabotage. Stress also slows us down and impairs our judgment. Something I’m learning is that no matter how terrible I feel, no matter how terrible things get… I will always make the right decision. The one that gets me closer to where I want to be. I have so much I’m working towards and I’m trying to drop some weight at the same time. As much as I want to just spend a dumb amount of money and order take out, I choose to make something healthy at home. Internally you’re going to feel super uncomfortable up until your meal is done, then you feel like you conquered some beast. Just one example but I think it can be applied to anything. Wishing you strength, hope, inner peace and prosperity!

I'm very sorry that happened. Those comments from your family are very hurtful. Some people find their partner later in life. Men can have kids until they are much older.

IMO comments made by parents and family drive deep into us and are hard to see or iradicate because they sound like our own thoughts.

Some Czech psychologist noticed a thing about gender problem. He had some client who transitioned twice in 4 years, from a man to a woman and then from woman to a man. The psychologist learned from him that he hated his male body, being a male. He found out. The main reason of this problem, is that children feel un-accepted in both systems: 1. Children feel - unseen in the family system - unheard - unaccepted 2. Children feel - unseen in the education/school system - unheard - unaccepted If kids feel un-seen, un-heard and un-accepted at home but also in school, it leads to some kind of low self-worth, and the kid is not able to accept himself or herself. Therefore it leads to self-harming, and feeling lack, not knowing who I am, what is my purpose in life etc. ---------- From these conversations we may understand important things. So people start talking to your kids in genuine way, (not what some television told you, but what your intuition tells you) so: 1. they feel seen 2. they feel heard 3. they feel accepted Don´t force them to do football professionaly, if they love math and science, don´t force them to do math and science, if they love football or baseball listen what makes them most passionate, what profession is making them most happy, make them feel they are loved accepted etc. Because if you force child to do something else, they feel un-worthy, they feel like they failed, because they are prohibited to do things that they love doing. And we may be almost certain that if a school or parent is forcing the child to be certain way, and not have their own thinking process and passion for something, it means that the parents were raised the same way when growing up, therefore they treat their kids that way..... .... they were unheard unseen unaccepted, when they followed their passion and purpose, in their teen-hood etc. So tell your parents with compassion and empathy I know you have your own agenda, because you were raised that way, you were forced to think certain way but I know what is my passion, my true purpose.

@@alenaadamkova7617 I appreciate your insight and advice, and I'm not discounting its merit, but in my case the family condemnation only amplifies the agony because I'm already fixated and beat myself up over "missing the mark" on the areas of my life that they criticize me for. It's not that our agendas are mismatched, they want the same things for me that I want for myself already. The perpetually single problem is one of several of which are not worth getting into here, but my single problem comes up the most and feels the most time-sensitive which amplifies the anxiety surrounding it. It's usually the catalyst that opens the floodgates into prolonged negative thinking, and hyper-analyzing my entire life through the lens of "you're a failure". I go down the "where did I go wrong" rabbit hole a lot which I know isn't a productive thing to do, but we can't always help how we feel about ourselves.

Yes, and with depression it's 10x worse.!! I'm suffering terribly also...🙏

this is how i feel also, but we can escape.

Are you in danger or what’s going on?

I agree

Yes, very useful! Thanks so much, Doctor!😊

I am always over thinking everything to the point of distraction. It is very annoying to others, but I think I have to do it so I make sure I get things right. Kinda like OCD added on.

@@janetslicer3637 Oh, that can be a difficult one. Mine is more anxiety-based, and random thoughts or thoughts about what I'm afraid to do. Ugh! I hope these strategies can help us both.😊❤️

@@pickledherring8759 I am sorry, but I did laugh out loud when I saw your name "pickled herring." Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it but I loved your name even more! ♥️

@@janetslicer3637 🤣 No sorry needed! I picked it because it does sound kind of silly, even though it's a real thing. Never had it myself, just heard it before and sounded like a good username. Glad I made you laugh! 😄 ♥️

Me too.

Case in point - don't feed into the story

It's better off not knowing anyway.

You are correct.

I’m sorry people seriously suck!

Let's see how long that lasts.....

He was right. You can't see you took him for granted.! You forget Men age like a good wine while waman age like milk. You forgot that once your fertility had gone so has your SMV. The younger women gives him a future he could never have with you.

That's horrible I'm sorry that happened to you... What a fucked up system... we're not failures! ❤️

Don't believe everything you tell yourself. You're only repeating inherited other people's personal denial

God bless you ❤

For me, it was 4th grade and I'm nearly 60. @stevec404 I haven't finished watching and those statements ring true to me as I'm self reflecting this weekend & throughout Spring.

I have tried so many strategies but I am really struggling. I really do not know what to do. I don’t know how much more I can cope.

I feel the same way, i feel so tired. I don't know how much i can sustain

​@@stewartkatz6119 Hi. Me, too. I just TOLD ( not asked! TOLD!) my primary care doctor to refer me to a psychologist & FAST! And in meantime, I texted 988 & they have a telechat & calling, too. It's THE crisis line in U.S. ...are you in U.S.? I am not kidding, I'm going to get 988 tattooed on me! They're very helpful 💙

​@@stewartkatz6119 also, do you have a friend or anyone you trust? Can you ask them to just listen, I mean, really hear you? Even if all you can manage is to tell someone you're really struggling, it's a HUGE step forward for you & I swear it's so worth it. And YOU are worth it 💙 You are not alone, though it may feel so. But I promise, you're not. Please reach out? And please let me know that you have or will, please? We both can get help & support 💙💙💙

@@stewartkatz6119 - This from a fellow sufferer...and survivor. "Never quit - Never surrender" (Galaxy Quest). Binge this mans channel. Whatever your core situation is, there are fantastic channels like this one to open our minds to the truth...and educate as to strategies for improvement.

I am 75 I agree 100%. Thank you Scott from the bottom my heart

Me too.!! I'm suffering so horribly, everything he said, and why. Is me. I have depression and anxiety, which makes it worse. Im,... in a very dark place in my life now.... 😢

Yeah..."self fulfilling prophecy" I hate that idea.."you don't believe in yourself, so that means you won't succeed." If this was true I'd have never succeeded at anything, I'm surprised I have a job because I didn't think I was capable or competent...I hated myself then and still do now, but that really didn't change the fact that I marched into that restaurant, introduced myself, and inquired about a position, and now I'm bussing tables working twice a week and my boss is the best in the world! I have skills and people tell me I'm a hard worker.

@@claireschweizer4765 I still struggle with hating myself so I feel you there. But yes, I still got what I wanted for the most part in life, partly due to hard work, partly due to the few friendships I’ve had, despite feeling awful about myself. There are kind people in this world and not so kind people and my powers of “manifestation” have nothing to do with that. Yes I can control my reactions and my “story” as Scott said, but I didn’t create my childhood trauma.

​@@claireschweizer4765 believing in yourself & hearing yourself are two separate things & exist on their own spectra. one who doesn't believe in themselves at all wouldn't even consider applying for the job because that don't see any efficacy. you believe more than you believe you do.

When the allied troops entered Dachau camp they fed the people in there all the wrong food. Their unskilled food program-kindness killed more than it saved. Everything useful can only be absorbed one 'bitesized piece' at a time.

@@RachelAnnie Exactly ❤️

I am sorry this happened to you. Please try to remember that you are still you, with all the skills, the talent and the dedication that someone else will value. There is absolutely no one who never made a mistake or a bunch of them, the difference is that some get anyway with shit easier than others. And that is some reality I still struggle to accept, because I never get anyway with anything.

@cristinabhatia9296 Thank you... appreciate those words. I'm unable to accept my mistake, because it threw away my life. I just want back the daily routines I had. I loved getting ready for work, going to work in my classic car , hanging out with all my coworkers and friends, then,.. getting my Bus,, and starting my routes, picking up my passengers,.! I have horrible depression now. I really feel I ended my life, by foolishly retiring,.. just because a couple of my friends were, and they convinced me to join them..... that was so stupid of me.

@@klanderkal I saw my dad going through something similar when he had to go into early retirement because of some health issues. His whole world was at work, he was even raising cats and a dog at the small factory he worked at. The only way I could help was to keep him hopeful about the future and keep him making plans by buying a piece of land outside the city and starting to build a small house with a garden. I am not saying you should do exactly the same, I was thinking about something you always wanted to do, but never had the time or the energy for. Like volunteering for something you are passionate about. Have you tried something like that?

@@cristinabhatia9296 Thank you for replying and caring 🙏, I went into deep depression. I cannot handle not working at my job. I have really no interest in doing anything else. Depression stole my hopes, dream's, desires away. I've never volunteered b4. Sorry to say, my job and hobbies were my life. Now, in my mental state, I somehow lost interests in all my beloved hobbies and activities. I'm a VW' fanatic since high school, many of my coworkers are the same, ... We all get together, work on our bugs, hangout at work, etc.. Now. , I don't even drive it, nor have interest in putting in New motor we built, or the race tranny I had for it. I just can't believe., how my life completely changed... 180. It's unbearable to live life without my job life. And... the mental illnesses it's brought on. Sorry for all this dread and negativity. T.Y.💐

Start asking yourself what is this trying to teach me, not why is this happening to me❤ things that seem dark may be happening for us to discover parts of ourselves we couldn’t see before. Blessss❤ That helps sometimes

I really appreciate you saying this

I just was listening to dr chris palmers book chapter on genetics and mental health. He referenced interesting studies abt children of holocaust survivors, it seems the parents trauma can affect their children's health, even tho they're born later.

But then that leads to rumination

@@Heyu7her3 Considering painful situations is not ruminating. It's healing so you can benefit and let go💖

Good for you on applying for another job!! That’s really difficult to do when going through what you’re currently experiencing. Give yourself credit for still taking care of yourself even when you don’t feel like it. I hope your employment situation is looking up and your anxiety level has gone down. Hang in there!

@@suebehr507 thank you. I should know something in the next week or so about this job, but now I’m wondering if I even want to stay in it. I have a 2nd interview with the other job I applied for. It’s far from here and I’ll likely have to take a pay cut and have roommates but it might be worth it to be a part of a team that actually wants me there.

@wileyann9449 I read the comments you posted with interest. I took a job about 15 months ago. It was the first of two offers I got in the same week. Since I accepted the first one before the second offer came in, I felt it was wrong to renege and go for the second job. It was one of the few times I did not follow my gut when I really should have. My 1year review was so bad, they put me on a *_"performance improvement plan"_* (PIP), which is a sign of soon to be fired. It's eating at me because I've been in my industry for over 30 years, have been successful in all previous jobs, but this current manager refused to see my value. Over the last few months, I have worked 60+ hour weeks, and am exhausted from trying and being annoyed. So ready to throw in the towel, but I have a mortgage (over $2k monthly) that I cannot afford and selling the house, which could be an option to recover some $, will take long to sell and actually get money in hand. It sucks because I wanted to retire in my early-mid 50s, but during Covid, the company where I was had mass layoffs and I'm back financially where I was in 2005. But then I ask myself _"how much are my happiness and sanity worth?"_ I hope your job search was fruitful and you're in a better situation. 🤞🏼

We are also the most biased sources of information on the topic of ourselves and have potentially collected every shred of “evidence” from a place of confirmation bias about the accuracy of things we already believed or have been told

I look at life the same way !from the age of 7 I lost all desire to have any ambition it was slapp out ot me,I remember every negative event and often, any conversation word for word, At the age of 67 I now have time to look back over a loser, life. Would have, should have ,cou have,?I can't wait to move on and take 2.

Yes,.... my life is the results of my horrible decisions. And, they just kept happening. Recently I did 4 in a row, that were extremely devastating to me..! I stressed so bad, I got anxiety, insomnia,... and severe depression. Now,... I just blame myself with self hate, and horrible negative self talk. My life is ruined. And,... now im suffering. I cannot forgive myself because I kept hating on myself. I really need to find away to do a 180 fast. 🙏

Yes, I completely agree! This is truly a transformative perspective and the tools Scott has given to combat these false stories are gifts.

Wow, me too. We're both suffering extremely. This video was talking about me,... but, still.... im suffering and I'm not able to forgive myself, and the horrible words I say about myself,.... are extremely bad. I have a horrible feeling now inside. I've got extreme stress over my latest mistake, and got anxiety, insomnia and severe depression now. Existing ,... is so hard to bear. I wish I wasn't suffering like this 😢