His eyes speak of how badly he wants us to understand where he is coming from, and that we, too, will realize the importance of his message. I’m grateful for having the opportunity of watching this today

his eyes say the real message

It's truly remarkable how his eyes glisten with emotion while his voice remains steady and unwavering.

This Ted talk is the one that has had the most impact on my life, I return every year to rewatch it and remind myself of what really matters.

My biggest thing is loneliness I am so tired of being lonely I have a construction company I am 62. I work about 6 1/2 days a week as many hours as I can. I hate to come home because no one cares if I am home at all I have two great sons. Three great grandsons. They live there lives way far away. So I have been single fir so many years it’s hard to figure out how many. Can’t find someone to care about. They all seem to have so many problems it’s better to be alone So there you go I am alone. I give up. I have seen so much and been though so much. Both Dude did my family is gone. I have a few distant cousins. It seem I have given up hope to have a relationship Do you know how many times I have heard theses words. Well when you stop looking it will happen. I spend my soars time helping people. That seem so help me is a lot of ways. Anyway that’s my story God bless you all if you read my post Peace

See how essential pauses are in speech? This guy gets it. Massive kudos, totally deserved the standing ovation

Not only his words are powerful, his entire being is another thing. The world needs more men like him

"What's most important to people who are closer to death? -Comfort, feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love; existential peace, and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.", well said!

something about his eyes..had its own expression and story.

Is it just me or did anyone else fall in love with this man? lol

He understood the meaning of life :kindness ,compassion and love in all circumstances

I’ve seen this in my life. My 3 older brothers died in the last 6 years. They were 27, 28 and 33. They had congenital diseases and I was their primary care giver. We never thought of death, yet we did talk about it’s being. We focused on laughing and thinking of the now. My brothers lived shorts and difficult lives, yet they never frowned. They always thought focused on what little they had and which liberated their souls. They emanated a light form them that attracted everyone towards them.

His eyes. They indicate wisdom. A wisdom that only comes from having been through a lot of suffering. And also, from having overcome it.

His eyes tell an extremely difficult and enjoyable story. ;)

What a beautiful message, conveyed more beautifully. I couldn't stop 'feeling' what he was saying. His every word was filled with empathy, wisdom, and a hidden, accepted pain behind that smile. May God bless his soul and strengthen him more.

"A part of me died early on and that's something we can all say one way or another " Thanks for such inspirational talk

What he does not say is more powerful than what he says. His eyes, his pause, his being...

this man is holding back a river

I had my heart broken and almost did the unimaginable. Listening to your talk made me realize just how beautiful life could still be after a relationship of 7 years has ended. Thank you so much

I can literally feel his deeper pain internal suffering by just looking in his eyes....I just want to hug this man

I have to say it, He is very handsome!

The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals.” ― C.G. Jung Greetings from Ethiopia

What a handsome man! He speaks so eloquently 😍

every so often you stumble on something that almost feels like magic. this speech is so much more than the sum of its words, it really is a piece of art.

This guy speaks like an author... very articulate and descriptive. Great talk!!

"Loss is one thing but regret quiet another"

I read sadness deep in his eyes, but he is strong & powerful. Glory to him !

This man challenges me on so many levels. I find myself watching this every few months, to ground me, my fears and anxieties. So thankful for him.

I broke my back for 14 years ago, and now i live in constant agonizing pain and can hardly sit down or do anything. Your view of the world change when that happens to you, i don´t have much friends anymore but i appreciate even the smalles little thing i see every day now and i appreciate so much when i spend time with people, i try to find the good in anything

Sir, you spoke with unfettered eloquence, boldness, and poise about a very difficult subject- dying. And you did so with so much grace and empathy. It was brilliant. Thank you.

Imagining a world where everyone spoke like him.

*when he mentioned about snowball in hands, I felt him...*

"Let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination"

This Ted talk sounded and felt like a poem. A beautiful one!

He spoke from his heart and first hand experience, not something learned through books....world need such people speak often....love him

Yours words reminded me of what it means to just be. Thank for your human warmth.

Why does it feel like he is holding back his tears. His eyes are moist and you can tell he wants to cry. I wish we could all give him a big HUG to tell him we never noticed his disability all through his talk because he was so georgous in every way.

It's presentations like these that make me love TED

As a childhood patient now an adult caregiver and advocate. This is such a meaningful message with questions about living well while living with illness.

He is just so calm and his voice is so comforting

An unusually elegant talk, especially about death. God bless this man and all his patients.

Damn, this wasn't a talk. This was a performance!

I come back to this talk from time to time. It helps to center and inspire me. I am grateful to have found it.

It's as if the incident when he was in college forced him to see life as it really is and even with the undoubtedly amount of suffering he has endured, he is at peace. It's spectacular.

His empathy is profound because he experienced near death & recovering his life. His talk is so touching.

His eyes reflect that he has seen and gone through many many things on his life.

I love his eyes...bright and full of gratitude.

6yrs but it still has a very strong message.

The good thing about people like him is that they've got nothing to prove. No pretentiousness, just a relentless drive to squeeze all their human potential and share it to the world.

His eyes say so much about himself....I couldn't listen to him much because his eyes are louder than his voice. Suddenly my life's problem seemed so small.

Rewatched, AGAIN, and it’s still so poignant and emotional. Thank you for existing and sharing your energy with us. It ripples and we are better for it. :’)

Thank you Mr Miller. I've watched your videos time and again. it's truly meaningful.

I didn't think I could watch this all the way through, but I did. I am at or near the end of my journey through life being accompanied by Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. His talk, in a strange way, at least in my mind, gave me some hope that I will accept my death gracefully. At 74 I have lived a decent life but I wish I would have had a little more time, but that wasn't in the cards. Glad I found this vid.

it made me feel peaceful for some reason

Thank you for the talk! All of us need it. ❤️

I could listen this guy all day long. I am happy to just have been in his virtual presence for a few minutes.

Thank you. Thank you so very much. My late Husband and I could only get 3 out of our 6 kids to understand his decision to return home, and LIVE whatever time he had left. He was such a good man, so gentle, a mountain of a man, hands so calloused from years of blue collar work, which he never complained about, instead always left work at the door when he got home. He was a Vietnam Vet. He had PTSD. He was a fantastic Papa to 18 Grandchildren. He was also poisoned by Agent Orange. He went through two rounds of what they told us were the harshest Chemo treatments around. They gave him an 8% chance to get to Stem Cell Transplant. He took 2 rounds of Chemo, and we knew at the end of the 2nd one, that all of his major organs were damaged. He made the choice to live out what time he was given here at home, he wished to die here at home. He wanted only to be with me, our dogs, and see the kids & Grandkids as much as he could. What they told us would be 6-8 weeks turned out to be 8 months. We even went on a trip to Colorado for 10 days. If Death can be " Good" ?, he had a " Good Death". He was only Bedbound for 4 days, at the very end of his life. He knew me, and was coherent until 36 hours before he died. He looked at me 48 hours before he died, and said " It's going to happen very soon". His biggest concern? " I don't want to leave you". My point is this: We all start dying the day we are born. Death has been made to be enemy even in our old age, and many times the Medical people feel everything must be done to avoid it. What is MOST important, is how we LIVE, even when we are actively dying. After his death our other 3 kids finally understood this, through watching their Dad LIVE, while he was dying. Those 3 are all in various Medical fields. I have been by myself ( the kids scattered from Alaska and Tacoma to various parts of the South and here in Kansas) for1.5 years now. I've really struggled with his death. I know they say it takes time to heal. I think...I can only make room, and carry him with me forward, because to ask me to just " get over" this just isn't going to happen. Again, Thank You for spreading awareness about the possibility of having a " Good Death". It is so needed. And with the Baby Boomers aging in great numbers, it is vital to get this information out to others.

Is it just me who loves his pause and intonation? Overall his voice and expression?

What a lovely man with such a heartfelt message.

So inspiring. I've seen this speech over years. Beautifull message!

Now 36y of age; brought into this world by schizophrenic mother, taken away from her because she abused me (found out recently that someone saved my life by bringing me into the hospital) placed into orphanage, there after transferred into another in Russia. Finally being adopted at 10 years of age by an America mother who mentally and physically abused me until I moved out @ 18. I feel blessed to have gone through my journey to understand and appreciate life for what it is today. I made peace with all my horrors and view my life/world from a beautiful point of view. One day I hope to accomplish something bigger than myself, this will be my biggest dream come true. Life can be a beautiful, heaven on 🌎, all depends on how you look at it, with your ❤️ and mind. May each one of you enjoy your journey. Thank you TED for continued inspiration.

This has to be the most beautifully written ted talk I've ever watched

One of the most incredible speeches I’ve ever heard.

This is the best Ted talk I’ve seen… his eyes show his trauma and intelligence! He is beautiful!

That was like one of the great philosophers giving a Ted talk. He understands things at a very high level.

I still remember the first dog I saw after living in the hospital for a year. he wasn't even a rehab dog. just someone's pet. I cried and cried. I never thought I'd see a dog again.

One of the best Ted talks I have ever watched! I have listened to it many times, and it always leaves me with a positive feeling. B.J. Miller is a great communicator:)

This was just amazing. I feel inspired and have never seen someone give a speech so well.

Wonderful talk. I'm just a simple man. I visit my Father at the nursing home, where he is spending his final days. I also volunteer, when I can, at a local animal shelter. I see such longing and loneliness at both places. If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs. Just wondering out loud. Thanks

There are mountains of sorrow that cannot move and one way or another we will all kneel there. I felt that

I’m here because my husband just entered hospice care in the nursing home. Vietnam vet. Most difficult time for me ever! This man is an angel!❤

He’s so well spoken

“There are mountains of sorrows that cannot move; and one way of another, we’ll all kneel there.”

For some reason, I cannot find the quote, but this speaker reminds me of it. " through the things that I have suffered, I have learned to ease the suffering of others".

I can feel his soul, from the bottom of my heart.

Dr. Miller, you inspire me! The way you talked, the command you had over your voice was beyond words can describe. It was an honor listening to you!

No legs, seen Death in the face, and regular people complain everyday about nothing . BJ Miller you define Inspiration. Thank You.

17:50 "I know some of you are working on this" was so cute

Thank you. Sharing this with a few close family members to help them better understand some of the things I find hard to articulate -even in my own mind- and so hopefully they’re a little less scared by what I am/ will be going through.

I have heard so many talks but none stayed with me like this one. You eyes and you face reflects what you experienced and the wisdom you have learned.

“Perspective, that kind of alchemy we humans get to play with, turning anguish into...flowers”.

His eyes hold the wisdom of the whole world. Wow....

I just want to hug this man and never let go.

"Making Life more Wonderful, rather than just less Horrible..."

“Death kills a man, but the idea of death can save him” E.M.Forster. This is a really important TED talk. All disciplines need each other. If we separate them, if we separate techniques from purposes, we lose the meaning of things and of ourselves. Thank you!

I come back to this video, each time I feel sad/depressed/hopeless.... it reminds me to LIVE again.

This is beautiful and sad and inspiring. Thank you for sharing this message with the world.

He is so calm and wise. I think he could calm anyone.

What an impressive human being. Imagine having a conversation with him?

I feel like i lack something, perhaps life experience or introspection, to truly comprehend the weight of the words of this man.

Amazing. A new perspective i came across today & made me feel blessed to be alive. Thankyou BJ miller for this amazing POV, you matter❤️

I really connected with this man and his speech, well said.

I love how he presented the message so calmly. Acceptance is the key to happiness.

'let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.' You sir, deserved that standing ovation!

More than any other, this talk was the inspiration for my two TED talks. Brilliant, moving, fearless.

best TED Talk ever! I felt so many emotions listening to this. Thank you.

the way he delivered this talk, its beautiful.. just amazing

Undoubtedly, his eyes cry a lot for a long periods of time but he don't give up, overcame it to be stronger.

The most profound talk full of openness, experience and integrity. Amazing first hand perspective. Life changing

The way he talk is so soothing. We could just listen to him for hours. Thanks for this gem of a talk.