It's a crushing feeling to know you've been betrayed, everything crumbles. I wish everyone going through it finds the strength to overcome it and heal.

The hardest part for me is knowing my man touched another woman and was touched by her. Looking into his eyes knowing those eyes gazed upon her body during intimacy. It's a matter of contamination; his body was mine, and now it will never feel completely mine again and her touch will still be there. It can't be undone or unknown.

Being cheated on literally ruins your self esteem to the point where you just never feel good enough It's a horrible feeling that stays with you

It takes more courage to leave. Leave everything you know, everything you planned together and wanted so badly. Leave comfortability and be alone because it’s what’s best for you in the long run.

everyone is so quick to judge or say what they would do in this situation till it happens to them....

For me the hardest hurdle is getting the images out of my mind. Seeing her and knowing someone else has seen her in a way only I should. I'm just repulsed. Update: Left her, found someone better, and now I'm happily married with our first child on the way. The ex cheating on me was the best thing to ever happen to me.

Sometimes it takes courage to leave too.

3 years later and I can say with absolute confidence that I really regret letting this video affect my decision when it happened to me. Cheers to you if it actually helped you out but all it did for me was give my ex the go ahead to continue to manipulate and abuse me instead of putting a stop to it

Even if you do decide to stay... I think you should leave first to heal.

Infidelity kills a relationship because betrayal destroys trust..There can be no relationship once trust is gone..Betrayal of someone who loves you is not just a mistake. A mistake is when you get off on the wrong stop on the bus. A mistake is when you serve the wrong fork with the salad. Betrayal is a murderous offence against the relationship and one's partner.

Anyone going through this I just want you to know you are loved and you deserve better. Most people who cheat do it for issues within their own heart & mind. You are worthy of love and trust. I hope you heal this year.

On our 20th anniversary, while 9 months pregnant with our 5th child, I found out about the affair. Honestly never known a bigger betrayal story than my own. It's 10 years later now, and I'm just now finally healing. Our divorce is finalized TODAY.

I was with my ex wife for 14 years. The moment I found out she cheated on me. I left her! POINT BLANK!! Her sisters were involved in encouraging it and covering it up. Never disrespect me & I deserve better 👍

Not my first time being cheated on, but the last person on earth I ever would of thought to cheat on me did. Why can't people just be honest and loyal? Selfishness... Just know for everyone else who had just been cheated on that it will get better with time. That you deserve to be happy and the right person will show up one day and be a part of your life forever. Just hang in there and have a positive attitude. It wasn't your fault for what they did. Sending peace and love your way. You're not alone.

Cheating is cheating, but a one night stand is not the same as a two year relationship. After that kind of betrayal there is nothing left to rebuild.

Narcissistic infidelity differs from "normal cheating", because a narcissist feels no shame or remorse for what they've committed! In fact, they convince themselves it's your fault, and actually lead the new partner to believe they're a victim of you. A narcissist will talk about marriage and having kids with you, while sleeping with another person. They'll give you the silent treatment and punish you, trying to make you feel bad for their own bad behavior. Survivors often wonder "why wasn't I good enough?" or "why is the new partner better than me?" because the narcissist will shamelessly wave this person in your face and parade the new target around on social media. Every second you spend comparing yourself to this person will erode your self-worth and fill you with feelings of inadequacy and rejection. How did they replace you so quickly, immediately making all the same promises to another person? The answer is simple: Cluster-B disorders all stem from the inability to attach. They never attached to you, which is why they try to intensely manufacture all the normal feelings of love and bonding, and it's also why they are able to detach and do the same thing to someone else in one day. Because they never successfully attached to you, despite all of their sweeping words. Sociopaths and narcissists are incapable of attaching to other human beings, so they hone all of these other skills like seduction, flattery, mirroring-all in an attempt to mimic what they see other people doing: loving each other. The problem is, they see "love" as receiving constant attention and adoration. This is what they give to you, and this is what they want to receive in return. The NY Times describes it this way. "Narcissistic alexithymia: The inability to understand or describe the emotions in the self. Unable to know themselves, sufferers are unable to understand, relate or attach to others. To prove their own existence, they hunger for endless attention from outside." Narcissistic "supply" is really just a distraction from this condition. When you fail to relieve this (because no external factor can), you are punished and replaced. No matter how caring and kind you were, they still don't feel good, and their disorder convinces them that a new partner will be the magical fix to everything. This is when you get "split" as the crazy bad person so they can justify their sudden change of heart. Even though they blame you, I hope you can see that this process has literally nothing to do with you. You can follow their new relationship, hope it fails, analyze yourself, analyze them, try to be more perfect, prove yourself, figure out whose fault it was, etc. All you're doing is hurting yourself. Turn your focus from external to internal. What do you feel? Inadequacy? Shame? Rejection? Betrayal? These are your feelings, and those are what matter. You need to work with these feelings, understand them, and learn to offer yourself the comfort and love needed to heal them. Otherwise you're just left with an unresolved mess of pain from an impossible situation, and a frightened heart that believes it's at fault. Left untended, it'll eventually just fade into a numb obscurity. Work with this pain, understand it, talk with it, communicate with your body. This is the most important thing you can do. Every time you're tempted to check on them, ask yourself what you're feeling. A void? Emptiness? Loneliness? Resentment? Numbness? These issues cannot be resolved through searching externally. Yes, they were created by an external factor, but it's your wound now, whether you want it or not. You are the only person who can decide to nurture these wounds and build a loving relationship with your emotions. Additionally, You can remotely spy on your narc partner without leaving any evidence or traces and you’ll be getting their text from their phone to your phone. This can only be accomplished by hiring a private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com who can help you hack into their device and uncover whatever they are hiding from you.

From someone who just came out of a relationship who was cheated on and betrayed, I just do not understand how trying to make it work makes you courageous. Although I did try to make it work for a year I felt my self esteem drop more than I ever felt courageous. I think this might only work in a very specific scenario. I think in most situations, a relationship could not work if infidelity occurs.

Cheated once, shame on you, Cheated twice, shame on me.

A relationship can never be the same after a cheating scandal. There will always be arguments about what happened, the partner’s trust will be ruined forever leading to constant confrontation and the need for reassurance but nothing will be enough to make them trust you again. It’s just not worth it

The comments are very sad... To those who chose to stay, as long as you feel loved and you genuinely feel that the relationship grew stronger after infidelity, don't be swayed by society's very harsh judgement on the issue. Congratulations for trying to fix what was broken instead of throwing it away. To those who chose to end the relationship, if you feel that it's for the best, then so be it.

I was surely disappointed by this talk. I had a boyfriend for 3 years, where he cheated on me several times along the way. Every time I found out, I tried to forgive but my feelings for him started going cold. The last time it happened, I could only feel indifference towards him. He said something I can’t get out of my head till today “Stop the drama. It happened before, you shouldn’t be surprised.” - true or not, this is the speaking of someone who had no respect for me.

I stayed for three years after I found out. Working on our relationship. We went to marriage counseling. He saw my pain and felt horrible that he caused it. Hurt the children and the family as well. So he said, funny how humans forget so easily. Anyways, time passed and things seemed normal again. We fell into a comfortable routine and all was forgiven. Just when I thought we were going to pull through this, the signs started again and this time things got worse. He started disrespecting me and was being cruel and careless. He didn’t bother to hide and conceal much. He got bold. It didn’t matter how hard I tried, or how much patience, tolerance and understanding I had. He cheated because he could do it and because he wanted to. Humans are selfish by nature. If they don’t have real consequences then they feel they can do it again. Now there are exceptions but those people are rare... Put it this way if you let a man slap you in the face and you forgive him then in a way you are given him permission to slap you again. He got away with it. I know that this is considered a physical attack and abuse. Then what is cheating? Isn’t it an emotional attack and abuse as well.... why would you allow it! No one has the right to disrespect you! Leaving is not quitting! It is knowing you self worth and standing up for yourself. The marriage certificate doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have a healthy relationship. The person who intends to cheat always has other options first. This is just my opinion. I’m glad I let that unhealthy relationship go. I’m at peace now and happy.

A month ago I found out that my wife of 22 years was having an affair for the last four and half years. My heart has been shattered to pieces. We have five children ages 8 to 18. The idea of my children having to suffer a broken home also breaks my heart. I chose to stay. I had an epiphany a few days after I discovered the infidelity. I didn't sleep that night. I found pictures of my wife that seemed only to confirm the infidelity. But I also found thousands of other pictures - pictures of her and the children. I noticed that I was in a very small percentage of these pictures. I had to ask myself 'why was I not there.' Then I realized that I chose not to be there. I had allowed resentment to poison my marriage long before my wife stepped out. My taking responsibility for my shortcomings does not excuse my wife's behavior. What she did was wrong, hurtful, and selfish. I sense that she is genuinely remorseful and wants to repair the damage that her actions have brought. Her actions of late confirm this. A month later - my trust in her is still at its lowest. I expect that this going to take a lot of time and building to find a place of security again. But today I am giving my wife the husband that she has longed for. I am attentive, concerned, and present. I have renewed my determination to have a health, happy marriage. I have chosen to be vulnerable in the hopes that we can have something better than before. If she should ever stray again then I know that the problem was never me.

I use to think I'd never take someone back. But after it happened to me, I understood how someone could. As much you are hurt, you also miss them immensely. Granted I think it was the person and the relationship before they cheated you actually miss. It was still really tempted with how much I missed them.

Infidelity? Just leave. I just found that my "wife" still wants to be a friend of his exlover. She didn't want to leave contact even after 3 years of therapy. I just left her minutes ago. It was the right thing.

I couldn’t fix things with them. I can’t live the rest of my life worrying, is he going to do it again? That’s such a hellish mind space to be in.

Betrayed? Spend your energy on You! Walk away and pour your love into yourself and let go of the pain that ripped your life apart! Walk away and be happy in your own time and on your own terms!! You don’t have to stay and accept the left over bread crumbs of the betrayer!

The comments here are heartbreaking. I hope that as we move forward there is more support for people to face their demons and insecurities and live a more fulfilling life.

My wife had an affair and I decided to stay. I don't think unfaithful spouses will ever understand the absolute pain and suffering the hurt spouse goes through. Your identity, safety, trust in people, parts of your humanity, and ability to truly love are destroyed. Maybe, not until the unfaithful goes through the exact same pain will they understand or even begin to relate. I now find myself putting up a defensive wall for my heart just to protect myself from her. Kind of expecting it to happen again because I can't fully trust right now. All I can do is not micromanage her, but instead focus on me and just let her be. I am forcing myself to trust her again and let her prove her worthiness of my love. Fighting through this process is difficult, but I believe the old marriage has died and this new one may prove stronger.

5 years in a relationship and 1 year being cheated on without knowing. I thought that she was the one - the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It just hurts man. I don't even know how to describe it

No matter what, don't cheat. There's no point of going on creating trauma in people's lives.

My ex cheated on me, and when I found out, I was so devastated but I decided to forgive him and work things out between us because he told me he still loves me, and I know at that time I loved him too so I forgave him and talked things out with him with what went wrong and etc, he said he would do anything to make it up to me and I did my best to not accidentally guilt trip him when I know he is making the effort.... couple of months later, he told me he wanted to take a break in the relationship stating he wants to focus on his studies and finding himself. Then I just realize, he is just another all talk and no actions, he failed to take ownership of his actions, in his last text, he even justified his cheating. Honestly, I broke up with him and am moving on (I’m still in the healing process because I once loved him very much) It sucks to get cheated on, the toxic questions you keep asking yourself like “why did he cheat on me, am I not good enough, did I do something “???..... it’s heartbreaking Please don’t cheat on your partner, think of how you would make them feel

I always thought I’d leave, until it happened to me. I’m trying to be courageous, I’m trying to be strong. Its so painful and so devastating when it happens to you. It’ll be the hardest thing I ever go through, but if we can rebuild it will be the best decision I ever made to stay.

I think it take courage to do both. It has been so hard dealing with an infidelity in my own marriage but I do have to say once we both processed and decided to work on things, it has made us better. We are more open than we have ever been, there are childhood traumas we both had to work on too. There is no easy way, it takes a lot of work, I think you will know in your heart if the relationship is worth saving.

“To stay and rebuild the relationship” after somebody (your wife or husband) has betrayed your heart and soul? That’s insane!!

Everyone is so quick to say “just leave them…no way is it worth it to stay”. Believe me, I said the same thing before. In fact I said I’d kill my spouse if it ever happened. However, once you see the person that you truly love genuinely agonize, show extreme remorse, and want to ferociously fight to restore and grow the relationship you realize that a much greater love than before can develop and you can actually build something far stronger than most have….well, you might see the value in not letting it all go. Yes, the devastation and deceit can never be undone and probably not forgotten but there can be a great path ahead that doesn’t involve throwing everything away that you love. Forgiveness in times like these is quite powerful.

got me fcked up thinking I’m going to stay with someone who cheats on me

This is backwards.........It takes courage to walk away. The fact is, many people stay because they are "afraid" to disrupt their life. I know from personal experience. For a long time I avoided doing what I knew I should. It was hard to get through it but I came out on the other side in a way better shape. I am now remarried and very happy. In "general" this is very bad advice, especially for guys, where the physiology is often different from a woman's. You don't get the betrayal out of your head even if you learn to live with it. It's not surprising this advice comes from a woman.

I've known 1 couple that the husband cheated. She was my best friend so she moved in with me for a bit. They ended up getting back together and he realized what he was losing... They've had the best relationship ever since. Now I'm not as forgiving...It can work but I think the one that was deceitful has to be completely transparent with everything until they can build that trust again.

The word affair doesn't come close to the realization of what took place. The special moments you had (seeing you sleeping, discussions and moments when it was just the two of you in the whole world) are no longer special. They now belong to another. The level of deception is cruel.

I'm currently in that exact situation. 12 year relationship, married and 1 child. My wife cheated on me. I wanted to fix things. We looked at reasons that led to the infidelity. I then asked her to stop the relationship with the other person so we can focus on our couple. Unfortunately, she doesn't want to. I did the right thing, I was courageous! It's really sad.

I've learned in life not to say what I would or wouldn't do - I've eaten a few words!! That said, for me and the infidelity I experienced in my marriage, the trust is never the same. I had to "go" and while I'm lonely at times, I have peace of mind and a calm in my life I wouldn't trade for a relationship.

After my wife admitted sleeping with my friend and blaming me for it I immediately told her that I forgave and still loved her. I then left her after she continued to lie and defend him. I was actually crushed more than I had ever experienced. I have used these videos to help me move on. I still struggle every day though its getting better.

Infidelity is the type of betrayal that haunts you. You lose your identity and self control. Whether you choose to stay or go it still takes the strength of a warrior. Sometimes you randomly become moody,emotional, and angry. It's hard to put into words how you truly feel. The thought of another touching your partner in ways you can't imagine hurts, haunts, and destroys the soul. The worst part is that they will never understand how bad they've hurt you.

My father had an affair almost 40 years ago. It almost destroyed my mom, and it took years of work to repair their marriage. They are still together. He is 90, she is 85. They have had many, many good years together. He takes very good care of her, as she is the more fragile one. I think when the two partners really do love each other, a marriage can be saved.

The relationship died after betrayal and we parted our ways.I couldn’t look at him again the same way and it was better to leave. And I chose to leave him. It is hard to end 26 years but worth it.

People are cheating and everywhere it is being encouraged to forgive, stay in the relationship, work it out, look at your partner with a renewed set of eyes. No problem for the cheaters anymore. No remorse for them. New style in this generation now!

Happened to me and we reconciled BUT it's never the same. There is always doubt and visions of what may or may not have happened in the bedroom. A multitude of emotions that do not ever go away even after 20 years, so no leave and heal and move on.

Life is hard enough without harbouring a traitor in your life. Cheating (especially 2 year long affairs) are the ultimate mark of disrespect and contempt. Granted that you may have been a bad partner also but don't take any blame for infidelity!! That is the most childish and cowardly act. Why then would you reward this with the "courageous" act of rebuilding? Don't reward cowardice with courage, you are worth more than that. Remove them from your life as best you can and grieve the life you THOUGHT you had before. You'll come out stronger.

Stay? Well.. Don't let the same dog bite you twice. Just sayin'

*My partner was cheating on me while we were leaving together for 2 years. Although there were so many some red flag, but she never stopped telling me how much she loved me and want to spend the rest of her life with me. So I kept on believing her lies and shoving the red flags. . Never knowing that she was having an affair with a guy that I know and they both kept it a secret. I got to find out when I open up to a very good business partner. How I have been noticing some red flags and he advised me on what to do and to find out for sure if she is being faithful. It was then that I realized that she was having an affair with this guy and they were secretly making future plans.. I was so heart broken by this but still grateful that I did the needful to actually find out. It is really such a painful thing how people plays with ones emotions.*

no..... trust your gut and leave the relationship if you are not happy. There's plenty of people out there who will treat you right without you needing the "courage" or strength. Don't lower you're standard for someone who didn't consider your feelings with something so clearly hurtful. Follow your gut and don't let anyone elses words lead you to your decision. I wish you the best and remember that there's better for you out there. Don't settle

One more thing.......people go into a marriage thinking love is the most important thing. Love is maybe #2! Honor is the most important thing. Love will wax and wane. You aren't always feeling it when things aren't going so well. But if you get past the hard parts at least you can work on your relationship and get it back. However, you absolutely need honor and you absolutely need to hold to your commitments . Honor is what carries you through the hard times. It's not so hard if you have some rules. Of course you will see other people you are attracted to, but you don't need to act on that. I use a rule of no social 1 on 1 time with any other women. If I have business I get it done in a business setting and leave. This does not mean I don't trust myself. It's also for my spouse. It leaves no doubt in her mind where I stand and she never has to worry. This may seem extreme to some people and perhaps it's not for everyone, but it works for me.

Once a guy cheats on you, it’s a matter of time before he does it again. A cheater will always be a cheater. Don’t waste your time in fooling yourself that it’s all been fixed because you forgave him. Next time he’d just try a lot harder not to get caught.

If you have lost someone to an affair, I think you have lost them forever. There is no going back, you can forgive, but never forgot. Your life is filled with suspicion about them forever.

This is a dangerous video for anyone who is going through narcissistic abuse. I can honestly say this video influenced my decision to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship, in which I was cheated on for 2 more years. In some relationships, perhaps, there is true remorse following infidelity. But when there isn't, or when it's all a big lie, this video is the ultimate self-gaslight.

I watched your video of ending a relationship or staying. I don't believe a more courageous person would stay. I was a married person who decided to leave. I gave up everything I built during my marriage, but I left anyway because of my anger. Leaving was the best choice. Staying is not courageous for most. It's a person who is afraid of what comes next

I forgave. I absolutely, wholeheartedly did. I tried, for 2 months, to make it work. It was only one time. But that shouldn't matter... However, in the end, I decided to quit. I do feel as if I did a mistake...but, I couldn't live with a constant sense of fear and tension, even if my partner would have been completely innocent. Even if it would only have been my paranoia. I just couldn't. I feel guilty but I believe I did the right thing.

The pressure to quit the relationship, external and internal, is a very loud conversation that for some, it never goes away.

I'm seeing this talk three years down the road and have to marvel at this woman. She is the best speaker I've ever seen.

The pain that comes with the first act of infidelity is but a fraction of the complete devastation that is the second betrayal. Forgiving an unfaithful spouse will be the hardest thing you will ever do. Sadly this act will not be viewed as an amazing strength of character but as one of weakness.

It’s courageous to stay ? ... hmmm well in my experience, getting back with her was stupidity. Not only did she cheat on me again but she married the guy too. Go figure. When someone cheats , leave and never go or look back.

We were high school sweethearts. Together 11 and a half years, married for 5 and a half of them. He was the only man i'd ever been with. It was so so hard to cut him loose when he had his affair. He was all i'd ever known, we grew up together. But I realized that he had changed and was no longer good for me. Was no longer the 18 year old i fell in love with. But was now a lying, cheating, selfish, manipulative man. I can confidently say I'm much better off - but I still think about him every single day.

20 years into our reconciliation. We are happy most of the time. If I can offer one piece of advice to people taking this same route. DON'T DO IT!! RUN! It isn't the more courageous thing to do. It is now a bad investment and you should invest your time and money into another person. It is courageous to set boundaries. It is courageous to look out for your own mental health. It is courageous to take a step out into the great unknown and start over. There. Was. Nothing. Courageous. About. This. Most of my reconciled acquaintances say the same thing. DO. NOT. DO. IT!

True story and advice. I was married for less than a year. No kids. Wife was unfaithful inside that year. I was clueless. She told me to lesson her emotional load. She sobbed and sobbed and apologized. Looking back, she likely minimized her role and actual misbehaviors. I wrongfully and unwisely decided to stay with her. All seems fine for 11 years and add 3 kids...then I see strange calls on our phone log when she's out of town "visiting her sister" three states away. She was cheating again, this time numerous times with married men and families. And later was shown IN MY OWN HOUSE WHEN I WAS AT WORK AS OUR KIDS WERE LOCKED IN BEDROOMS. LISTEN: NEVER EVER EVER EVER STAY WITH A CHEATER IF YOU DO NOT HAVE KIDS! If you do have kids, only do so if you really love the spouse and go forward with 100% accountability by no less than 2 outside, trusted parties. It is highly likely they will cheat again even with that. As a romantic, I was never okay with the hurt. I could never un-visualize it. If you are a romantic-dreamer-creative type like me, with also a logical strength, it may be the hardest thing you ever try to cope with.

A very helpful insight into what difficult choices are open to a couple in crisis and how to inform these life-defining decisions! A great talk, which I had the privilege to watch and hear live in the audience!

I'm holding onto hope that his realization and commitment to change are genuine and that we can build a stronger, trust-filled relationship. Despite the challenges, I'm optimistic that his drastic life event has truly prompted a positive transformation in him.

Dunno how people cheat with their partners, i cant even cheat with my shopkeeper with another shopkeeper!!!

You can recover from an affair if both parties are willing to work it out. If one is not it will be really hard to fix it.

Thank you for this video!! It opened my eyes to a better understanding of my situation and how to handle it. Thank you😊

If the person doesn't do the SOS work, it's time to leave. You hope if your partner is unhappy, they would turn around and grab your hand and tell you it's time for a therapist. It's selfish to not try to fix the relationship prior to seeking your own needs.

If I had to spend my time having my husband followed, accessing his phone without his knowledge and looking for proof that he his cheating; I wouldn't waste the time or money because its obvious to me there is no relationship.

Interesting talk. However, a cheater effectively has emotionally checked out of your relationship to have the affair without any regard to how it will affect you and your family. It could be repaired in certain circumstances but for the vast majority the betrayed needs to find their self respect and be rid of that relationship.

It would be interesting to see a comparison of the psychological health of those who left an unfaithful partner, with those who decided to stay. It seems to me that being "courageous" means in some way denying the way you are really feeling; and denying your feelings is a bad idea - they're there for a reason, after all. I have heard countless stories of people saying how glad they were that they left a cheating partner, and precious few saying that they were glad that they stayed. My gut feeling is that staying will lead to a diminishing of your self-esteem, resentment, and a kind of "half" life - never truly trusting or being at complete ease with your partner again.

my girl for 8 years started a romantic relationship with her coworker. she told me about it a few days before my birthday. we are still together and sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy on the inside.

I fell for this clap trap!! And here I am 4 years later absolutely destitute and in therapy, only now courageous enough to leave now I have lost absolutely everything… Please love and respect yourselves enough to put YOU first, I wish with every broken fibre of my being that I had.

My husband has cheated on me through our marriage. But he doesnt want to acknowledge how he hurt me. He just wants to act like it never happened. Help

I feel that if you did not have the character to remain true to the love of your life - you do not deserve the happiness they already tried to give you... Why should someone reinvest into a person that just showed them they are not strong enough to remain in the bounds of trust you had already given them ??? What should had happened is they should have come to their partner & started the work your talking about before stepping out on their partner. There is something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty... This behavior not having a real consequence is the reason it is thriving. I bet if you knew (Hands Down) you would loose "EVERYTHING" you had gotten from your relationship, it wouldn't be no were near as bad as it is today...

So beautiful and so well explained.... totally blown away by her talk

I know of a tech expert that's gonna get it done within couple of minutes

A very well presented talk about a sensitive topic, the bottom line is we all need to feel safe, loved and heard, well done Lucy.

Infidelity affects people at different stages of a relationship differently. It depends on the circumstances and reaction of the cheating partner. Real remorse, regret and apology for erring against your partner can make it easier to forgive and let go of anger and resentment following betrayal. Some partners justify infidelity and are unrepentant. Those should be left and avoided. Noone is perfect. Holding your spouse to angelic standards is recipe for disappointment.

Someone who is thinking of taking back a cheater must remember that the cheater will always disrespect you for doing that

This is really good. Learned a lot. Blessings to all who read this.❣

Go always go!! No relationship is worth saving after infidelity imo. My self respect is worth saving.

Really helpful talk to see things from a different perspective and decide how to make choices during a difficult time.

Honestly, we need more people like you. If we had a group of people like you, we could quell the whole loss in no time. I love that you help victims, you can save lives real time like you do, it makes me very satisfied, thank you for giving me my life back *nck mythss1*

No mercy ! it does't hurt you physically but it destroys you mentally. People say to move on but it's not that easy..you can't fix the hole in your heart.

OMFG, if the one you loved cheated on you, that is a DEAL BREAKER...the relationship is FINISHED

I can forgive a temporary fling or a one-night stand but a 2-year affair it's not just cheating it's a complete betrayal

Congratulations for this so much didactic, honest, relevant and helpful video! Courage and vulnerability are the keys

Problem is I cant trust them and that makes me uneasy. With him out of my life I have nothing to worry about. Relationship is hard to repair. Kids make you stay to try to make things work, but you lose yourself.

I got cheated on a lot with a lot of different people within one year, and still stayed for another two and a half. Until I couldn't do it anymore. The girl and the strength I lost in myself was refound when I made the choice to leave and try to heal myself alone without him. It's still a process, it's currently a process

This is foolish. I don’t model my life after JZ and Beyoncé!

Just left my partner not because he cheated but because he would do this eventually and I don't want to go through this. A person used to variety will not change because of you. It's been messing a lot with my head and I'm so proud to have the courage to end it.

This talk is outrageous and courageous, that's what it takes to get beyond betrayal.

Amazing speech. I chose to let my husband go. He could never and will never admit he cheated, nor will he apologize for what he has done to our family. He was unwilling to be transparent as well. Instead he blames me for leaving him. He is now alone and blames me for his misery. In some circumstances it's best just to let go. I couldn't live with the thought of "could it happen again?"

Both people have to really want to save the marriage. Oftentimes, one abandons the betrayed partner for the new love interest.

I need to leave. It's happened too many times. I thought we had recovered and moved on, but he kept cheating. Living a double life. He doesn't have any remorse.

A marriage only ever survives DESPITE an affair not BECAUSE of it. 12 years later my marriage survives. My wife even loves me again. But i never got the answers to my questions and my wife has NEVER said 'I am glad i no longer see him and chose to stay with you'. She loved him too so we both know it would be a lie. I suppose i have to respect that honesty however much it hurts. My wifes affair was painful and irreversible. It has caused mental AND physical damage. Fortunately I no longer think about it everyday and even when i do its fleeting but its taken more than a decade to get to here. I dont see anything positive about it at all apart from its taught me that only being ACTIVELY IN LOVE can protect against an affair. Just love and respect born of time is not enough. Once the 'honeymoon' is over, no marriage is 100% affair proof.