Lol lol lol lol

In biblical language as one authority charmingly put it, "The male embraces the female" ;-)

And ‘they, them’

stop repeating his lines you knob head

@@Hannah-pk6iq yeah reply to a 7 years old comment, dumbfuck

Nah man, god has his electricity bill covered

God prob cooling them himself

Imagine all the food and shit they had to move lol Not to mention all the trees and plants 🤔

@@katyungodly god just did the jesus move of making piss into wine ofc

he supposedly had the power of god which means he wouldn't need that

It mustve been embarrassing for Adam and eve when they discovered thered have to be some serious incest to continue the human race

That must’ve been the first act of homosexuality in history

@@shayantehrany8295 Well, probably that too. But Adam and Eve only had sons. So Able mustve gotten it on with his Mother. And I hope to Allah she had a girl. Even then, the farthest removed from incest they could go ,is ; Grandfather Adam with his grandaughter. (who's also his wifes daughter , conceived by his son). Originally , there was another female called Lillith. She had WINGS (and possibly a strap-on and a whip) Shes in the earliest versions and in the Epic of Gilgamesh. She got booted out of Eden because ?.....SHE WANTED TO BE ON TOP !!....the dirty free thinking , empowered , hussie liberal feminist.!!!! WOMEN ON TOP ?!!! Holy Yahweh ..... best go with rampant incest , eh ? And to think that genital mutilation of infants didnt start till Abraham ....so they considered that to be progress !!!!!??? ps ; just think of that when ye wonder about Trump. Hes a throwback in evolution of Biblical proportions.

Hey fly that rainbow baby!

Horatio Caius it must’ve been embarrassing when you realised that you spelled embarrassing wrong

same

Im fucking drunk sneaking away from a Party to watch this xD

Same

Same

3:26 for me

Mock the week

Making it 100 likes...

@@Lord_Skeptic Not the weak, just the ignorant who believe childhood fairy tales are actually real in some way - that SHOULD BE MOCKED.

Mock the week is a TV program. That is where the quote that the original post comment comes from.

@@ross-carlson lmao got a bit too carried away bud

Unicorns. Obviously.

@@ragnarokda206 that bloody bastard

The South African waffling bee

@@Travisbig7 Voldemort must have been inspired by that

None, a yew was pregnant before the flood. The sacrifice was the baby lamb, pure and without sin. At least that's what I would say if I was stupid enough to believe such bull sh*t.

+dnw009 that's smart I didn't think about that! and the sea creatures too lol

Also the fact that if there is only 2 of each species and "the first thing he did" was fucking sacrifice one of the animals, he instantly causes that species to go extinct

John Wright Can I be your disciple?

John Wright : by ‘uneducated’ I take it you mean un-paranoid religious fanatic?

@John Wright I will follow you everywhere.

oh really adolf? REALLY?

Honestly speaking this statement really really gets me.

Lets say youre a father of a world aka God right then you see 4 to 5 pure and good ones in a group of savage totally evil ones around those pure good ones you wouldnt destroy them for the sake of the good ones? Keep in mind you do have the power to revive the souls of the destroyed after judgment and do what you will with them spare them or rid them to punishment. See you didnt have that in your mind set before making that snarky comment...

Wake up Reality is calling you! I mean, to be fair, Its still genocide isnt it

@@wakeuprealityiscallingyou1070 What did the animals do? If God wasn't a dick he would have spared the animals, who by the way don't get to go to heaven.

Hahaha

I really can't believe that so many kids and adults (myself as a kid included) just accepted that. Like "yeah there are some bad people, let's just kill almost every living being on this planet."

mad about your dad. sounds likemine

That's so funny but also so fucked up at the same time

@@bambino9235 To this day, neither me or my father were wrong! Even at six yrs old I could tell it wouldn't float, and there's nothing wrong with the truth!!!

@@barrysargent1213 Literally, the fact that the teacher was allowed to call home (essentially a punishment) over it is fucked. The fact it's allowed to be taught in schools as if it's undeniable, evidenced fact is also fucked. I grew up going to CofE schools and we used to pray every day in assembly and sing religious songs, and when we left primary school in year 6 we got given a bible each, and this was mid 2000s so relatively recent. Mental Like it's funny that she expected your dad to be upset but he actually agreed with you, but the whole situation leading up to it is just fucked. No better word for it

@@bambino9235 You are so correct. I'm sorry, I misunderstood your first comment. Literally the very same things happened to me! That bible that I received went in the bin as soon as I got home that night! Even at high school, the same. Another in the bin!!

@@josephfaherty5810 calm down its only comedy

Joseph Faherty gammon Brexiter

@@josephfaherty5810 why the fuck are you here then mate

@@josephfaherty5810 butthurt are you.. faith fade when reality kicks in..did he offended you joking about your fairy tales?

@@josephfaherty5810 You're*

You must have been a genius child.

@@dogshiin But it wasn't. Not only would it be impossible but there isn't any evidence for it. There is however, evidence of smaller floods being talked about in entertaining/informative tales shortly before Judaism was invented. The stories were simply plagiarised and modified to suit an agenda.

Pre abrahamic religions had the same story, Old Testament just copied it. The same exact shit.

No one actually believes it. Its implied that those are just stories made so people could understand the religion because some people back then were the smartest in the world. Like the creation of Adam and Eve. Ofcourse Christian don’t belive that we came from two people. It just a story.

@@Filip-pm7dg I know plenty that believe it all, every word of it. Even the ~650 direct contradictions, it's all true, apparently. BTW, the story of the first man being made from the dust of the Earth and the first woman being made from a bone comes from ancient Assyrian mythology. Only in the original version, the first woman is made from a bone taken from a slain goddess rather than a bone taken from the first man. The Abrahamic Genesis version is tailored to promote sexism and has the power struggle between the many gods removed for obvious reasons.

In the uk we call that the driest summer since records began.

Lol brilliant 😂

Sad to see how its ended up

@@tdsm99 whats happened?

@@tdsm99 what

@@tdsm99 huh

Ironically, you saw the light 😂

@@SamuelBlack84 Yep; I guess I did. But I still listen to Christian music on Sundays, because there we're a few redeeming features in that ideaology. However Taoism, Stoicism, and Buddism have made my life incredible.

@@lookupthereupinthetrees9860 So has Satanism for me

@@SamuelBlack84 not merely being agreeable for the sake of being agreeable, but there are some pretty interesting ideas to be found in Satanism. Always remember that one about 'being hassled in open ground.' It really pays dividends to take no shit from no one, lest you forfeit your own sanity and eventually decency as a human being. Philosophical variety is the spice of life.

ay whatever works for you right@@SamuelBlack84

how dare you assume their gender?

Tomas Straka: they were going to adopt when they reached dry land.

deekat3279: oh, no; that's unfortunate! Hope you get them out of both, and soon.

Yea but technicly there have been cases of female lions with manes...

God is not gay but lions are

I'd pay quite alot lol

Look up Round Planet on Netflix... It's kind of like that

Yes, because the magic man in the sky made it so... ;-)

marty jackson what does this even mean? It in no way addresses...anything? And before calling people dumb please be sure you know how to your, you’re and yore, or you look like..exactly what you are. Or you’re? No, you are.

dylan thoms I cant tell if you’re serious or just goofing on me

dylan thoms thanks for answering, I just wasn’t sure. Made me go to Wikipedia to familiarize myself with the story

@marty jackson Fix your grammar before you start calling people dumb you fucking spastic.

Nah, dinosaurs got screwed in the beta test, when God used a different force to show his rage.

@@UVjoint why wouldnt he refresh the map after beta testing he left so much shit laying around

Unicorn obviously

Dejay Rezme thanks I was trying to recall why that sounded familiar

He was right about all the evil ducks...they are very rapey birds

Yea he's a funny lady.

I really hope you've seen james acasters take on pinnochio.

Does he do anything on islam . I would really want to see him do that .

3 fressh gleiza

Underrated Comment

That's clever😂

Yoooo

Just found your comment. Brilliant!

I got in trouble in Sunday school as a kid for pointing that out. 😂😂😂

I expected to hear "children's edition... bit redundant-" lmao

Yep that's the joke.

the delusional idiot edition.

@dylan thoms What a muppet...

@dylan t you're right, it's impossible to read to most christians, it's designed that way so your religious authority can TELL YOU what it says...that's why they believe it. Most christians never read the bible

And what about thousands of species with less than two months lifetime?

Sina Helmi surprised nobody question about this shit

@@sinahelmi6696 Good point..

Guessing it was the dodo.

@@sinahelmi6696 Tbf, nobody denied they reproduced while on the boat thing

Yes, they're gay. They were planning to adopt. Thanks, god, fucked that up! All lion fetuses DROWNED. No more lion adoptions.

Just an inside joke

aw it doesn't matter, the whole Genesis thing never even happened. It's just old rehashed stories from Mesapotamia and Assyria that ended up with the Hebrew people at one point, that's why it's in there.

You need Jesus

Depraved sadistic psychopath . That's bit harsh . Constipated jerk , maybe ? However , in comparison to other " gods " before and after him ( some arrived 900 years after him) , he is just a softy , frustrated old geezer with nothing to do

Archevis well yeah, but neither did God.

Wemdiculous Are you sure about that

@@harveykraus5767 He'd have to exist first

I think in the bible satan killed 2 and god over 2000, whos the bad one :)

Marcus Cunnington: in the bible, god either directly kills or orders killed something like 2.3 MILLION people. Depending on how many were alive on earth during his putative flood. The bible: Snuff fiction.

***** ???

Looks like I'm not going to get to download much tonight, but I know your posts are always a plus!: )

***** : )`

The squid will be fine. It is a sea animal...

Not a lot... do we need em?

But gods not ga... wait shit I don't know about this one chief

Are those 2 gay lions in a gay pride?

And there is gay pride in gay lions, it works both ways!

I DONT LIKE THEM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER THAT TURN THE FRICKING LIONS GAY

And why the sacrifice was needed? didn't god took the sacrifice of whole planet ,by flooding it.😂

If that is all they believed, it would be totally fine. The problem is people are like "You don't believe this ludicrous thing I believe? What kind of child of mine are you, get out, go live on the streets" and "You don't believe this happened? I am going to attack and kill and ruin everything you love and believe in until you agree my impossible fairy tale is real". It's terrifying, you're right.

@@sociallyresponsiblexenomor7608 exactly. Why don't they listen to their own messiah and keep that shit to themselves? Even jesus himself said not to be like the hypocrites and to pray in the closet. Probably didn't hear about that from the pulpit eh?

@@sociallyresponsiblexenomor7608 the problem is that this global flood mith apeared everywhere on Earth and according to geologists it took place somewhere between 10.000 to 12.500 years ago. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_flood_myths

@@laurentiumarin9165 its on wikipedia so it must be true

@@Aluben0 And Ricky is a religon expert who majored in what..??? tps://www.mythoreligio.com/15-flood-myths-similar-to-the-story-of-noah-2/

It was the unicorn

Remember, god told Noah to bring two of each kind...and also two of each unclean kind and seven pairs of each clean kind. So he must've used a clean animal. Though perhaps after a year or more on that ark, there wasn't one millimeter of anything in there that was "clean" at all. Imagine the heaps of SHIT!

Zahin Vishnu: I wish that I'd been told "real" stories when I was a kid, and not filled my head up with things that aren't true. But then I couldn't have come here and had interesting UKposts chats with so many interesting people, like yourself.

Zahin Vishnu: Yes. We do have more serious issues to worry about--and I bet a lot of us do worry about them. Sadly, we can't do much about them. We only get to vote every couple of years and probably aren't going to mount an armed resistance in between. Meanwhile, we can vent a little by arguing about kiddy tales. Keeps our minds going a little, maybe.

Nope, he sacrificed the male and the female was already pregnant with a litter.

Yeah mock islam and see how that plays out. Maybe the west isn't as fanatical as it used to be but don't extend that to all religions.

in my country, people who mocks religion can still be imprisoned, tortured and even killed.

@@remotaco That's so sad to hear.

You still can't mock some religions.

@@AdmiralBonetoPick True, true..

Prove it's a myth

Joey K O usually the burden of proof is on having to Prove it IS real

@@captaincoffeecake3595 the evidence is their you just don't want to see it.

Joey K O lol ok , fuckin crazy religious people .

Joey K O The rules of grammar are available as well. YOU, obviously, don’t want to see THEM.

GHOST unicorn

you could have given a spoiler warning

Most ancient religions have a flood myth, from Greek mythology to Japanese Shintoism. More likely it's a memory of the absolutely massive flooding worldwide when the last Ice Age ended some 11,000 years ago (bearing in mind humans developed primitive language, art and religions around 26,000 years ago).

There are traditional stories of a big flood in many cultures. They don,'t "rip it" from each other! There probably was a great flood and each culture had their own story about it. Get educated and do real research if you want to be taken seriously.

Oh shut up

At this time polar bears where not discovered what a joke story

I caught it too and it's the greatest sense of achievement I've felt since I left the house that one time last year

Yeah the mongoose rikki-tikki-tavi

@Samuel Black I'd assume God is bipolar but if he's a god then he wouldn't have any disorders

@Samuel Black Yeah

At least it didnt happen which is for the better for those millions of people. It just seems like some flood happened, and was exaggerated and made into a myth. A majority of the bibles tales are just metaphores for things.

God still sounds like the most Toxic male rolemodel anyone could have.

God seems f*cking moron

I mean you gotta admit that a majority of the Bible is bs. Judaism is such an interesting religion because it promotes science in a way. A LARGE amount of Nobel prize winners are Jewish! Real reason for that is that the Torah is more so a book of laws/rules. An allegory really. The Torah shouldn’t be taken at face value because that isn’t the point, the point is in each story, the reason one should act. (There also is the history bit which is mainly true, which is just dictators using Jews as a scapegoat and trying to kill them all). I’m proud to be Jewish, but I’m also atheist. Judaism isn’t just a religion, it’s an ethnicity and a culture. Judaism promotes deep thought and debate on how to interpret it. I feel like the Bible almost perverts the Torah and turns it into something it’s not, almost cult like rather than a way of thinking. I remember hearing this thing that goes something like this (very paraphrased and probably quoted a bit wrong though), “there were 2 rabbis having a debate about the torah, they get another rabbi to come in and be a tie breaker, but that rabbi had a different opinion. One of the rabbis trying to prove his point, prays for god for it to rain, and it does. The rabbi then says to the others ‘see god agrees with me’. The other rabbis say it’s a coincidence. So the rabbi prays again and asks god to send a better sign to prove his point. So god shouts down to the other rabbis ‘that rabbi is right!’ The rabbis then start arguing with god and saying that he’s wrong.”

@@bananaeclipse3324 I agree, the Bible makes people cult like and would explain the many cults that have been born in the name of the God of the Bible

I would suggest you to stop being religious if you want to preserve your sanity and brain cells. Otherwise, it will degrade your brain so much, you will lose common sense and rational thinking ability. Just an advice. Take it out leave it. Your wish.

Lol lol 😂 😂

"It rained for forty days and forty nights, and they call it a disaster? In Ireland, that's the feckin' summer!" - Agnes Brown.

Well that's because 1. There aren't as many Christians more. 2. There aren't that many Christians that are angry, crusading, marauding strict bible buffs.

I'm a christian and i am laughing my arse off. Some of us are still normal and have a sense of humour😂😂

This is old testament stuff, christians only believe in the sequel. They are like Star Wars fans..

@nordhorny perhaps your understanding as well -

@@carriefawcett9990 "normal" id say completely bloody insane

Written over 1,600 years by 40 different authors. Not exactly "up against a deadline" but you quickly made that up so, understandable.

yankee with no brim

Watch his bit on “best leaflet in the world”

thats geiy

150 days but that explains “specialized “ lmao

Maybe he made it rain seawater.

okay so..? there are plenty of brackish water species? and many species have plasticity and resilience when it comes to changes in their environment. Adaptations can also happen through those resilient individuals. Let's pretend the water was actually some toxic liquid, even if that's the case not all organisms would die. There are microbes which survive in harsh environments as we speak, in volcanoes, hot springs, even battery acid!

tono80 there’s parts that would have stayed fresh water , there’s parts now where fresh water meets salt water

who the fuck cares, this is like trying to find logic in a marvel movie

Everybody chill out, tono80 was just making a simple point to draw attention to the problems the flood caused the fish.

Thank you for being truthful in your account here. Unlike some ignoramuses who just want to believe the Bible is fake for whatever reason.

What does bible SF and No -ah fable has to do with that ?!

@@richardflynn4112 you know something ain’t right when God isn’t pro-life as well

Probably has to do with babies going to hell.

And all the unborn. There must have been pregnant women dying in the flood.