You’re writing advice has been extremely influential in how I restructured my story. Absolutely going to submit something thank you for this. Everything you’ve been making is gold. I also hope you continue the narrative you had started with the sponsorship segments, because my friend thought it was funny, which led to me discovering this channel.

Hallooo

How dare you take away my comment pin

@@Harmonica821 Sorry I just can’t handle the emails anymore

@@localscriptman me too buddy, me too

This is brilliant... 🥲

​@@moreaudracula6156Nah Brilliant's a different sponsor

why is the therapist hungry

​@@moreaudracula6156 No, that's the sponsor of a different video.

​@@appads lol underrated

and Kima said “what? what are you talking about” 😂😂

Really wasn't ready for that ad, nearly choked myself 😭

I got caught so off guard I was questioning reality

😂😂😂

Best ad read ever 😂

Good analysis. 😳

that is too clever, I shat myself. jschat.

I had the same thought!

It's much like how the Bible reveals alot of things without saying them. After all, as much as it is inspired by the Lord of all, it is written by men. They speak with certain points in mind, to describe certain events in certain ways, and to deliver information clearly and concisely. If we only ever look at the text, we miss subtext and pretext.

I wholeheartedly agree

100% caught me off gaurd lol

That was without a doubt, the hardest I've laughed out loud in a very long time.

seamless!

I was beginning to cry a bit because of how relatable her pain was and then that line dropped and I literally screamed fuck you at my phone and started laughing like a maniac

The most tragic character of all time.

Imagine that in a real movie

F

F

@@beanedtea truman show.

this video is sponsored by skill share

also yo breath stank

"What?"

might need one more good lord man in that sentence

I this uhhh put into words what I wasn’t able to

Same here. And the girlfriend freaking out in the background.

@@LindyLime friend*

💀💀

SAME I HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO TO BURST OUT LAUGHING BC I DIDNT EXPECT THAT LMAO

@@LindyLime fr i felt so bad for her lmao like could you imagine "Wtf did you just slip into a psychosis?!"

or just a normal Rick and Morty dialogue.

@@justflavio3260 to break the rules so consistently, you gotta know them

Wattpad symptom is describing too much what a character is thinking instead of writting it through dialogues. I mean books are different than movie lines but I feel like some amateur stories are too mind-descriptive

​@blobpoop457 they want to be deep and communicate their ideas thoroughly, but media isn't about just writing things that entertain YOU. Which is where alot of writers fail. If you want to just have some mind or eye candy, don't post your intimate ideas where everyone can see them. If you want to show everyone a story you think is really great, you have to be able to grab, hold, and communicate your ideas and thoughts through text and imagery, if that's your thing. Otherwise you get the exposition hammer.

@@xavierthomas5835fanfiction is much more self serving than published works imo, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing

Depends on what you're trying to achieve. If you look at studio Ghibli films, plenty of their movies have moments connected by vibes where nothing really happens

​@@LisaEifiethat's because a lot of Ghibli movies are art books with vague stories attached to them lol

@@LisaEifie ghilbi has the advantage of a visual art to it.

@@jojbenedoot7459 yikes

@@opalpersonal I mean I love those kinds of Ghibli movies, it's just that the art, vibe, and overall tone of them are much more important than the plot. In something like Kiki's Delivery Service, the plot isn't nearly as important as the overwhelming sense of coziness and beauty, so they can just get by on paper thin transitions between setpieces

I'm starting a new story and that's all I have. Felt personal 😅

My whole book is held together by vibes 😭😭

Guy is asking me for bricks and I'm here with some straws and wool 💀

UKpostsr educating more effectively than a teacher is so 21st century.

And I love that you can still hear the girl in the background going "What?!? Who are you even talking to"

Marvel movies abuse this however to the point you become numb and nothing no longer matters to the story

​@@BattleBladeWarrior ye ill be honest... i kinda wanted 2 see the rest of the scene.... and also might rly enjoy the movie they came from where the guy slowly realizes he did love her, and finds out he can only communicate with her once once hes in space so he spends the 8 years making a rly heartfelt note while she gets more and more over him, but not so much that when the letter arrives she doesnt immediately enter the space academy

@@litarogers3984 Same, that would've been cool!

That was c l e a n

Bwahaha thanks I can’t express how proud I am of that gag. I appreciate the support!

@@localscriptman Genuinely one of the funniest ad transitions I've ever seen, I rewatched it like three times lol

I'm so glad Local went with the silence as Philip's response. A "No it wasn't" response wouldn't be bad, it's just not as impactful and real as the silence. Elite craft of writing yet it was just an exercise, Local is a writing prophet!

@@localscriptman involuntarily whispered "god DAMN it" under my breath and burst out laughing, gg that was VERY good

@@loturzelrestaurant I like big criticism essays when I actually learn practical skills from them. But otherwise I’m disinclined

I give short answers when i want the concersation to be over.

I always ramble and make sure the other person is engaged by asking if the understand an example or metaphor before explaining a general rule, and generally pass the ball back. It's rare that someone forgets to return the ball, but if they do, I often point out that they stalled the convo and ask follow-ups until I get THEM to ramble

I think what makes it work is the fact that Philip sounds like he knows he's about to have a heavy discussion soon, and the infodump is just his way of trying to ease of his mind, or trying to delay the conversation, or what have you. Like, the infodump itself sounds like a character trait in on itself.

@@standard-carrier-wo-chan And that's what makes it sound natural, true-to-the-character and therefore believable, instead of contrived and shoehorned in. =======================================================================================================================================

He might also unconsciously or consciously be trying to make Kima feel bad by forcing her to either quash his enthusiasm (which he knows she doesn't want to do or is highly unlikely to do) or feel bad enough to not try to. Sharing his excitement and babbling could be his way of doing just that. If later in the "film" it's shown through another means that he's actually conscious about what he was doing and uses the same tactic later, but switches on a dime when he's pressed enough, the audience would learn that he's actually highly manipulative, given the information from earlier of him using a similar tactic. Or, if he does this habit in any instance of emotional confrontation, than we know it might be a defensive unconscious strategy to ignore facing that instead of an active strategy to get others to be less likely to bring it up. Other clues would give context to if he's selfish because he's scared to deal with conflict and negative feelings or if he's selfish because he cares more about his feelings over others. It also leaves it open to explore more, maybe see his relationship with his mother or some other person to indicate further why he's that way and how he's that way. Perhaps in his trip, he shows even more instances of avoiding any form of negativity, possibly to the point of detriment, like something goes wrong on the trip to Icarus and he hits a point of basically denial that everything is going awry. So much you can do when you get a good set up going. It's like any artistic endeavor, the skeleton of a project having good form leads the basis for the rest actually being good. Especially true in art where form and anatomy matter, because when something's off, it can ruin the otherwise fantastic rendering of a final product.

@@standard-carrier-wo-chan The info dump served two purposes, at minimum. It of course, dumped information for the viewer, but it solidified a character trait, set up character interests, and moved the dialogue forward (ironically by trying to not move it forward). Damn, that's good.

He also is saying actually somewhat interesting stuff which helps his excitement seem genuine

Remember kids, your comment is added to the US Constitution as law if it is pinned.

touché

Says by someone who has an attention span of a tiktok kid.

Finally someone said it

Remember kids, video deep crap any overanalytical be makes some on it, as can long good and UKpostsr a.

How is it for you? I've been using it a lot and it's such an amazing technique

@@shabalaogrreeetzel.4418 I haven't started a new project to practice it on yet, but I'm noticing patterns in my current projects that follow these same principles, which is really exciting. Confirmation bias is my favorite bias.

@@4xdblack Good luck bro, it'll definitely turn out awesom!!!!!

same, i'm writing a webcomic and while i believe i've been well-versed in knowing how to "show, don't tell", this video has given a broader perspective on what to do going forward. i will definitely be utilizing the points in this video and i wish you guys do well in your creative journeys too 🫡

@@shabalaogrreeetzel.4418 Suddenly got a massive dose of inspiration, and I know exactly what I'll be putting into practice this time round.

Honestly best sponshorship ive seen

Omg that sponsorship was hilarious.

Sponsor, PAY THIS MAN MORE

And then the busted waterpipe

I WAS GETTING SO INVESTED AND THEN 😭😭😭😭

I have had that feeling. It is indeed an excellent feeling. I am glad that others may have the opportunity of enjoying this feeling. Please enjoy it to the best of your abilities while you can. And I will enjoy this slice of my sister's birthday cake. While I can. *AGGRESSIVE RUNNING*

Yeah, it seems like people have internal aspirations and things they are trying to avoid, but then they have to mesh that with the external sociopolitical environment around them to try and get what they want. I be thinking about this in terms of understanding personality, but it makes sense that it applies to dialog as well.

AHH that's adorable:DD

@@gljames24 Suddenly it makes even more sense this guy is a giant personality theory nerd.

I'm not into this filter thingy or watching any series or cinematography in general. But the thing that he mentioned has always been common sense to me since a kid. "How else can one make a masterpiece?" I confidently thought then, now I realize I never really moved my eyes from the Great and failed to appreciate the lesser but passionately crafted works.

The reason why I was invested is... Phillip uses the exact same evasion techniques that I do when I'm avoiding an uncomfortable subject. I saw myself reflected in this character in a way that I don't normally. My investment wasn't just because the writing was competent. It was because it struck a very particular chord. but I'm in. I want to know more.

Yeah, what happened next? Did it turn out his breath also kinda stinks?

@@kiltmaster7041 I guess that's why people unironically like creative products similar to the room.

Realistic dialogue is ridiculously effective at grabbing view retention.

So true. Bless the algorythm

RIP

facts

Canon ending, he says, "Yeah, it's been real champ, catch ya later"

i'm in the exact same boat, i've been watching filmwriting essays and studying popular films to prepare for my comic! the parallels between the two medias are so undervalued. best of luck to you, i really hope you end up making it.

this is exactly how i felt

I can remommend the channels: Terrible writing advice (For short term) and the Video the fall of Dr. Who. It takes 5 hours to get through, but it's the perfect example of what NOT to do.

Same. The girl doing the voice acting did such a great job, so compelling I was tearing up ... And then WHAM. haha. And the smooth transition back to the video, chef's kiss

I'm currently squatting in the AMC basement and venturing upstairs at night to steal food from the breakroom

​@@localscriptman I pray for your sake the AMC death squad legal ninjas don't find you

I'm storyboarding a comic (just for fun :) ) and this nailed the thing that was bothering me about my own writing without quite being able to put my finger on it. AND he proposes a workable solution.

You might have a character who says funny things to ignore the drama of a situation, but that's still more context than just "funny." You almost want to think about _why_ they are some character trait that way you can better know where to utilize certain traits and when not to... Just some thoughtsa

thank you for this, hero

Good looks

+

i love you

I can't believe you missed the part that this video is sponsored by skillshare

I never ever realized that, damn

You just made an already tearful movie more tearful. Congratulations

Thanks for the comment, I appreciate your support!

I still think the analysis is nice since it lets you engage more in the media you consume and to help you explain why you liked something or why you didn't. UKposts really makes it easy to be an armchair anything

@@cofromdiscord118 Exactly! That’s why I love video essays like this, it helps you appreciate the art of good writing more.

Same here. It just helps me understand myself better, why some scenes feel to be better than others.

me be like LMAO, I watch so many fiction stuff, but I hate writing lol

and with a dash of props interaction, naturally put a timer into the scene, set a staged urgency and fully developed the characters' inner emotions. top notch screening.

this is how i write any dialogue i do for anything i write, although i have a hard time getting that method to flow continuously with a story

Lmao yooooo fr! Im just over here like "Phillip! You're breaking Kima's heart!😢"

bro same I was so invested hahaha

Yeah. I want to see the actual end to this.

Thanks dude I appreciate that. And yeah that transition was something I’ve wanted to do for a while and I finally got a golden opportunity - glad you enjoyed

said "Writing gurus" are BS cause they so often say there's some kind of rules of writing. My point of view is that there _are_ no hard-and-fast rules as long as you have a good reason to break them. Case in point, what if I construct the story in a way that means people really, _really_ want the exposition? Lke in Chernobyl?

Agreed. I have a dream that one day, we will have a constitutionally enshrined right to beat the dogsh*t out of anyone that says "show don't tell" unironically 😇😌🙏

@@fluffywolfo3663 The rules are important, but it is more important to know why the rules exist, so when you do break them, you are aware why you are doing it.

@@holyleech2159 you know what they say - you gotta know the rules before you can break em. Good example would be Welcome to Night Vale - the “rule” is “describe as good as possible,” while WTNV actively… refuses to describe wherever it’s scary or funny, or makes deliberately silly descriptions to screw with you. And that helps heighten both the fear and absurdity of it all.

“Abstract concepts such as France”

This comment almost made me sob laughing why doesn't it have more likes???

💀

this such a great comment thank you lol!

Silly segue? (is that actually how you spell it, it feels wrong) It was the gosh darnit best segue i've ever seen.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who couldn't help but look at this through the d&d lens. As a player, I'm always wanting to find more ways to be dialogue interesting between players or npcs, since I always feel as though I don't do that great of a job. But these sort of things like using their personality to be their psuedo 'filter' for their emotions is such a fascinating idea. I definitely need to keep more an eye on that when I play.

I like to hide my exposition in obscure books and PDAs hidden around the encounter areas. That way, I get to chuckle at my Player's misfortune - because of course that exposition is going to help you with the boss fight - and they get this feeling of wonder and mystique. Conversely, people in my campaigns rarely talk, as I write dialogue about as well as George Lucas does. But man, can I write a short story. Which game do you DM? Edit: After watching the Philip and Kima segment, I have come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a good dialogue writer, even if my dialogue can feel stilted at times. Hiding behind Exposition is good for the world and bad for my growth as a writer. Thanks to both of you for helping me find my mojo!

​@@butchcassidy9791 yeah man exposition can be bad for a story. I write novels and exposition can be very boring to read and just a crutch for the writer. Anyway, good on ya man for believing in your ability, keep going.

For me it helped me realize that I had the exact opposite problem. All my NPC's have been JUST a lens. With nothing useful to say or any information to hand out.

I didn't realize you have to write your dnd characters that sounds cool

This. SO MUCH. I love sci-fi but a lot of stories in that genre suck because the characters are so bland. Some stories have great worldbuilding but the characters just vomit Wikipedia paragraphs at each other.

Yea sometimes character interactions carry the soul of a movie/series. Marvel Studios uses that in some of their films and it works, like Infinity War.

@@AndersonMallonyMALLONY-EricCF personally i'd say they do the opposite... especially in infinity war...

@@opalpersonal you're objectively wrong tho

@@AndersonMallonyMALLONY-EricCF oh yeah? and how might that be? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tremendous comment i dont like it

@@christopheraguirre1418 LMAO my work here is done

"I'd rather be cringe privately and do my process of working out dialoug then post cringe" This quote goes hard

My brother or sister. Your not alone. I thought I was. It just more raw. And I think you just summed up my dislike for Rick n Morty dialogue or in general alot of adult cartoons. They just sound so monotone

@@landmindssoul4636 Oddly enough although it likes to satirize and poke fun at the sitcom structure and formulaic it tends to fall into that one the nose bordering on groan worthy dialogue that is just the writer on their soapbox. Its so clunky and shit that i would’ve quoted on fb during my edgy phase in hs. That diatribe Rick goes on about love was so out of place I had to think man if someone talked liked that irl they would be bullied.

Thanks for your support! I’m glad my stuff helped

@@localscriptman Its funny too, I've been subbed to you for a bit and literally as I'm writing dialogue, this banger drops. You love to see it.

Il parle pas si vite t'abuses

Il parle vite, oui, mais clairement. Je n'ai pas eu de problème à comprendre.

@@sinocelt la vitesse réduite de 25% me permets d'enregistrer les informations plus efficacement, en dehors de ça je n'ai aucun souci avec son élocution, qui est très claire.

So you are the giant worm huh

@@vicentezavala9274 Hello, what do you mean ?

Yep there’s no such thing as legitimacy in art. People appeal to authority all the time and it’s clear they’ve never actually taken the journey themselves

That forum sounds interesting, do you still remember the name of it or what website it's on?

@@localscriptman i struggle with appealing to authority or the populous a lot because i don’t know how to judge art on its own merits but thats just my own fault

@@sfglim5341 Well to me it’s not about assigning a value judgement. I don’t teach people how to consume stories, I teach them how to create (via frameworks that have helped me accomplish my writing goals - consistency, accurate character psychology, internal logic, etc.) But most of my favorite stories have nothing in common with this system. Again, I’m not a part of the “you’re watching movies wrong” media literacy crowd - this is purely practical

@@Ballchugger its called fimfic....read fallout equestria or end of ponies or...dame theirs alot of good ones the platinum crown sweetiebell Chronicles...

Thank you! That means a lot, at this point I’m just afraid I’ll run out of things to talk about. Dialogue was one of the last big areas I hadn’t addressed

@@localscriptman I'm sure there's always a few ways to keep a stream of things to talk about by honestly just answering questions. Say you had people ask more specific or even general questions to you every few videos or more, answering them in depth like you do could be super insightful

I've been living my entire life thinking that "segue" is spelled "segway" 😔🤌. Turns out "segway" is a literal object 😅

oh zeemyth! hi! love your videos, some of the most creative and interesting stuff anyone's making with Minecraft

This is actually a REALLY tricky thing for good scifi or fantasy writing where there is so much technology and/or magic and/or history/culture/lore that differs from our world and yet most of it from the characters' point of view is irrelevant, mundane, trivial, uninteresting, and widely known. It's just as bizarre for a character to take time out of their day to explain a teleporter to another character who lives in that era as it would be for a character in a present day story explaining how a coffee brewing machine works. I mean, yeah from our point of view the teleporter is some real "gee whiz" technology, but it's boring and common to them. I'm sure a coffee brewing machine is like magic to people from the medieval period. But yeah, no one today is going to explain that to anyone but a child and the same goes for future tech or magic or whatever. So in a lot of ways good scifi and fantasy writing is not just about crafting a decent story (because you still have to do that too!) but also about how to sneak tons and tons of information (if relevant) into the narrative without it being annoying or info dumping or just stupid in dialogue or whatever. It takes some real creativity and it isn't for the faint of heart.

I do my best, thanks for tuning in 👽

Thanks Coomstick! Yeah like I said the filters mindset is quite a simplification, but it’s always helped me. Also, wording can be a subconscious thing too. And I don’t really touch on that but it’s an important distinction

@@localscriptman yeah it's a lot of spinning plates haha

I’m glad your dialogue was incredible.

I have the same situation as you, especially when my messy zero drafts are essentially screenplay/comic scripts. But I'm writing a 1st person novel dual perspective, and I have been doubling down on improving my narration and descriptions, paragraphs and sentence structures and word choices just for this project.

There are novels that are nothing but dialogue, and novels that are incredibly spare with detail.

I also come across things that I already do, so I guess I'm doing good job :D

ayyy!!!! fellow showwriter!!

Thank you for your support! I won’t let you down

Yeah, I Count Zero shits given from him in this scene.

this joke really wrote itself