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On Today's Episode:
Either you or someone you know is dealing with illness on some level. Whether it’s an autoimmune condition, metabolic disorder, or mental health crisis, it’s hard to escape the reality of how sick our society has become and so we’ve normalized our lack of health and made it the new norm without really questioning why.
In our fast-paced technological world where medical breakthroughs are more common it feels like we’re further from a solution than when we started or we’re just solving for problems we’ve been creating and consequently we’re farther from optimal health than ever before. At what cost is all this happening?
Dr. Gabor Mate is a world renowned trauma and addiction expert with over 40 years experience and respect looking at how trauma has been affecting us from childhood long into our adult years. Today he’s discussing The Myth of Normal, also the title of his latest book on trauma, illness, and healing in a toxic culture. From the very beginning Gabor exposes the myth and explains why this new norm we’ve accepted is actually making us sick.
Between exposing how trauma in our childhood and suppressed anger lead to autoimmune diseases and how our adaptive responses to bad parenting decisions cause a plethora of problems in our adult lives, Gabor Mate is laying down food for thought that will shift the way you see everything.
Check out Gabor Mate’s latest book, The Myth of Normal, Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture: amzn.to/3RQl0rg
SHOW NOTES:
0:00 | Introduction to Gabor Mate
0:39 | What Is the Myth of Normal
6:20 | Authenticity & Attachment
10:37 | Boundaries For Unconditional Love
19:45 | Nature’s Agenda for Humans
30:50 | Best Human Conditions to Thrive
36:36 | Stop Suppressing Healthy Anger
47:39 | Depression & Disconnection
53:32 | Emotional Regulation to Trauma
59:46 | Breaking Traumatic Cycles
1:12:35 | Healing Childhood Adaptations
1:23:50 | Conditions of Unconditional Love
1:27:14 | Changing an Unhealthy Culture
QUOTES:
“In this culture the norm is neither healthy nor is it natural, in fact the norm I think is making us sick.” [0:56]
“Illness in this society given the conditions is a normal response to an abnormal circumstance.” [1:11]
“That means we have to be in touch with our gut feelings and our emotions and to be true to them, and so what we need is relationships is which we can be true to ourselves, that’s a directive.” [4:25]
“When you suppress your emotions you’re suppressing your immune system as well.” [5:55]
“Infant is an expectation for unconditional acceptance. [...] We evolved as expectations for certain conditions. The less a society meets those conditions the more toxic it becomes…” [7:56]
“You can set boundaries through just love, through relationship, through example, it doesn’t have to involve force and it certainly doesn’t have to involve physical force.” [13:26]
“You may know on some level that your parents love you because they feed you, they hug you, but at the same time these people that love you are deeply hurting you, that’s traumatic.” [18:38]
“Wealth is defined as a set of social connections rather than a set of physical possessions.” [27:55]
“In this society, it’s the worst of us that get nourished and the best of us that gets suppressed.” [30:56]
“Not feeling your anger was an adaptation to your childhood where the anger wasn’t permitted. That emotional physiological effort to repress anger takes a toll on the nervous system and the immune system. It’s a major role in disease ” [42:10]
“Healthy anger is a boundary defense.” [44:15]
“When you suppress the emotions, you’re also suppressing the immune system.” [45:42]
“Trauma is an imprint that makes you react to the present like you’re still a child, [...] it’s automatic, it’s unwilled…” [55:39]
“What stresses people are a loss of control, uncertainty, conflict and lack of information.” [1:05:15]
“Having love for a person doesn’t mean that you’re going to put up with everything that they do, [...] we have to draw our boundaries, but the question is how do we draw our boundaries and in what spirit and with what intention?” [1:24:41]
“Why should we settle for the worst versions of ourselves…” [1:33:13]
Follow Gabor Mate:
Website: drgabormate.com/
UKposts: / @drgabormate9132
Instagram: / gabormatemd
Twitter: / drgabormate
Facebook: / drgabormate