Please tackle "The Bad Boy", and why "Good Girls" are almost always irresistibly attracted to them!

Please cover Anne With An E!

Colossal was one of the most chilling movies I’d seen in a while because of it's subversion of this trope, and it made me look inside and question my own morality.

I love u guys let me say that first I’ve been with u since u were screen prism... however I sense some gender bias in this video ... so the nice guy is a fake phony predator but the nice girl is a victim of circumstance? Now while I really don’t connect with this stuff because all these tropes are woefully culturally bias and I’m black (Ducky wouldn’t have survived in my high school) and I’ve never met anyone in my life obsessed over a person that they haven’t bedded yet ... now I know if it doesn’t apply let it fly ... but U guys should really call this the “nice white guy” trope and further more with this whole thing with me too and times up People probably need to start examining how the patriarchy works culturally and Black society because I’m tired of feeling like I have to feel bad that I man but I’ve never shared in any of the privileges a white male hasBlack women run the black community so things are a little different

Can you please make a video about Male Video Game Characters Like Geralt Of Rivia, Arthur Morgan & John Marston?

That's a golden nugget right there

Dakota Hale you’re parents are wise!

Yeah but was is a good man.?

word

@LEO2001 ehhh... is not. But if it is to you, is fine.

OMG WORDS

Exactly.

The truth have been spoken. The think is you would just be good to everyone and will not obsess nobody. No is No and that's it you will understand that and back off.

What if someone’s asked a “true nice guy” if he was nice. What should he say?

Also people are weird a some people take specific actions as nice or say that those are nice things to do and some people take them as offensive or cruel. If I told the truth to some deluded person they’d say I’m being mean or I’m not supporting them even though to me that’s me being nice.

No, you just have to be phisically attractive and the sex often falls out for free.

@@mrtyrant1680 you sound bitter

@@mrtyrant1680 Have you ever met a woman? It sounds like your view of women is based on what other men say.

@@m_milos I did, but every single time I get interested in someone, it's either: A gentle turn down. (The only result I get by making my intentions clear from the start.) A unwanted friendship. (The result of taking a more passive-aggressive approach since the direct never works out.) Or simply getting passed over in favor of a better looking guy. (Three years doing humiliating, exhausting and costly things for her, only for her to go for a tall and handsome guy instead.)

@@mrtyrant1680 But what makes you think you're deserving of a relationship just because you want it? If you like someone and they don't like you back, that's not their fault. You don't deserve anything just because you want it, that's just being entitled. If it has happened so many times, maybe instead of thinking every girl is the same (which is very dehumanizing and misogynistic) try thinking of WHY they rejected you. If so many different people have rejected you, the problem is most likely you. You're probably not as great of a person as you think you are. I mean, how can you expect women to like you if you go around preaching how they're all the same, which, again, is dehumanizing. Women are people. They're just as complex as men. They're not animals or robots or machines. So to repeat myself once more: Just because you want something doesn't mean you deserve it.

Dodged a bullet there ....

Stop that is so cringe wtf so happy hes an ex

One of the finest movies of all time. Should be made the part of school syllabus to cure the simp epidemic.

@@secretscipio XD

Um summer pursued him twice. She was the one who couldn’t take no for an answer.

I just watched this yesterday and YES. I felt so bad for Jamey the whole time. ... I kinda feel weird about it but I couldn't help shipping Sierra and Veronica. Sure they were partners in crime (catfishing) but once they have learned their lesson, I kinda feel like there's some potential for an interesting romantic dynamic there. But maybe that's just me! 😂

crapshots SAME, I was shipping Sierra w Veronica too

@@sonalsanjanwala7211 They at least seemed equally toxic.

The "good woman " 😂

No she is a "nice girl" there is already a name for this type of women 👍

3 out of 3 sisters say: Friend Zone = Creep Zone

This is the exact reason why I am afraid to accept any kind of help from anyone. If possible I would like to have zero reliance on people. I havent had a single date where I let a guy pay me anything. Sometimes my friends even told me that I should start relying on people and I know sometimes it hurts people when you dont trust them, but there are just way too many shitty people out there.

These jerks like to perpetuate that girls prefer to be abused because they don't want to admit the girl rejected him for his faults. They are sick in the head and think girls owe them

I agree! I've heard that so much, I hate that shit

@Daedalus Icarus Yep, but that obsessive, controlling behavior that got them in the creep zone is what's going to keep them there.

yesss! Man I love Marshall Eriksen..

I agree with everything you said, except for the part where you said that Barney does not pretend to be nice, Barney absolutely pretends to be nice. He manipulates women into believing that he wants commitment when really he does not.

AND Ted brags about all his exploits to his kids and in the end, proves he STILL hasn’t learned his lesson. “Hey Robin! Now that my wife is dead, wanna hook up?”

Marshall has always been my favourite

As much as reward would be welcome, I do my best not to expect it so obviously. It's hard, but it's worth it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is so fucking not true.

@Delina Kebede Were you one those girls? If not, you're just making assumptions.

Are that girls who like "nice guys" also "nice girls"?

@@mrtyrant1680 seen you commenting a few times to this effect. doing alright, buddy?

I was that girl who liked the nice guy. He was mad that I relentlessly pursued him even though he wanted a woman to chase him. He wanted a nice woman who took his feelings into account but when he met me, someone who does this, he ignored me and got mad at me for liking him. And I’m too attractive for him anyways. His loss. He’ll remain single forever the way he goes about liking women. He’s 28 and never had a gf because he has some fantasy of the “perfect woman”. When an attractive, kind, attentive girl like me showed interest in dating him he panicked. He doesn’t want a gf, he wants to complain about women not liking him so people can feel sorry for him. Women like him, but he doesn’t give them a chance because they’re not “perfect” when he’s nowhere near perfect either.

Yep!!

Exactly. Like those guys who moan about hot girls not dating them but also spend their time grading women looks on a scale and calling those who don’t make their cut all types of names. All the while, demanding women take them as they are ie without money, looks, charm or even manners.

@@Lafemmefutile A lot of times, those guys get rejected by the nerdy girls too, because those nerdy girls ALSO want the popular guy.

THANK YOU!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Women tend to be atrracted to men that other women want.

Woah soo true

@@cellardoor199991 Natural Lifestyles actually

It's not just guys. There are people, men and women, who do nice things hoping others will reciprocate/reward them.

I'd prefer to hang out with the Alpha male jerk at least he's being honest about who is. Momma always said its the "nice" ones you have to look out for.

@Reviews Er, not saying there is any truth to that quote. But the problem is that the dating coach entire occupation rest on the idea that certain behavior will lead to getting a relationship with a woman. So how is that not seeing her as an object to be obtain, I don't mean to be cynical but dating coach seem to defeat their entire point they're trying to make.

This video here can only give you a 'Start'. The Nice-Guy-Pandemic is BIG and COMPLEX (and yet all so simple...) so i recommend watching more Content-about-this-Topic.

Nice guys are boring. The discussion is filled with all these words, but nice guys are boring. Show a woman a gentleman and a pig, and she will have sex with the pig every time. Because the pig is exciting. That's just biology.

Bruh you just described what im experiencing right now

I give a round of applause to that guy.

This sounds EXACTLY like an experience I had with someone once.

YES. It's so clever because the seemingly harmless nerdy "nice guy" reveals himself through the film to be entitled, possessive, stalker-y, and eventually outright violent once rejected. Meanwhile the actual supervillain gets to know Roxanne, respects her intellect and passion, doesn't try to force her to be with him, and is inspired to become a better person and rise to her level! I love that movie so much!!

Finn MacCool thats not what i meant. what i mean is, they are nice to you *only* because they want the reciprocation. once you reject them or they start to doubt you, they show their true colours. so truly, were they ever ‘nice’ to begin with?

Finn MacCool did you watch the video... the nice guy is always the guy who’s interested in you. thats in the definition. a ‘nice guy’ is not a male that is nice in general.

Exactly, "The Dogged Nice Guy" trope has been done to death. They seem to think that by being the patient loyal best friend to the Heroine, they will eventually realise that "The One" has been there all along. But once the girl shows ANY kind of sign that she's not interested in him romantically, he usually gets clingy and nasty. So, maybe they were never REALLY nice to begin with? 🤷‍♀️

EXACTLY

Finn MacCool you suck dude

Certainly

@Dr Frankenthot Honestly, I have more sympathy for "not like other girls" and "nice guys" than for the people who complain about them The animosity against "not like other girls" has gotten very sexist at this point, to the point where girls and women are vilified for simply wanting to be different. And the "nice guy" backlash has chauvinistic undertones in which "nice guys" is used as catch all term for men who are not stereotypically masculine. So yeah, there is a lot of toxicity surrounding these terms, but that toxicity doesn't just go one way.

@@neosoontoretro that's actually a very good point. Like what if you have a bunch of girls who are all very horrible people and there is one nice girl, in that particular social sense "not like other girls" makes sense. And yes, not all sensitive guys are also entitled narcissists either. of course, in a wider social sense none of these two "tropes" make sense so it's ridiculous to identify by them, but that's another thing

@@neosoontoretro thank you. people are more focused on how "not like other girls" is misogynist than on the misogyny that might lead girls to want to be different.

@@neosoontoretro Totally get you, I admit, when I was like 13 I had that 'nice guy' mentality. But I matured. And while I'd say its still my personality, not to sound "I'm such a great person' but I am genuinely pretty reserved, I like to help people, and I'm kinda cheesy. But I do think what you said rings really true. Ironically, when guys aren't super buffed out or over the top 'alpha' they're just called "oh they're 'nice guys''. When that's not really the case. And same with girls who are 'quirky', its very possibly that they don't hate other women, they just don't like traditionally activities oftentimes associated with girls, so what. I do think some of course could kinda ride that trope into the sunset but plenty of girls just like not traditionally feminine things. It seems though, one one defense of "nice guys" is that I feel its overused and thrown around as a catch all term for guys who are genuinely nice but don't 'have six pack abs', and if guys have general wondering of "why can't I get a girl", they're just shit on and said that they're toxic.

FACTS 😂😂😂

Out of curiosity: Would men who call a girl ugly when rejected have had unreasonable expectations ), or taken it all too seriously? If I were to say "at least I asked", when rejected, what would it show the woman I asked out?

​@@countjakku5544 what r u on about im confused

Entitlement can be unintended. And it's just as obnoxious when it is!!!

I love that show

A real man

Brittany Bennett he was like 12 tho and at least he learned

I love dipper pines

Isnt there a real science experiment though where if you look a person in the eyes for 4 minutes striaght and reveal some deep parts about yourself you are likely to form a loving connection with the stranger. Also if you used MDMA and stared into someones soul it could make them love you.

Adeline Collins They are called kind guys

Adeline Collins PREACH

Care to elaborate? I'm not understanding the connection between kindness and an aversion to rejection or perhaps I'm misunderstanding, so please elaborate.

AFRO_NiNjA25 it sucks to be rejected, don’t get me wrong, but a mature adult will understand that nobody is obligated to reciprocate their feelings. you may be down in the dumps about it, sure, but any reasonable person won’t throw a hissy fit when they don’t get their way.

@@adeline.is.sleepy ok thank you! Apreciate the constructive conversation!

They probably watched too much Hollywood movies portraying this "nice guy" trope.

I feel ya, My mother once told me to take what I could get (when talking about a guy I knew who didn't treat me very good) because someone like me couldn't hope for much. Thanks, mum!

..what would the point in that be.he gets nothing in the end. He actually gets less than nothing in the end. He gets punished in the end. For what being in love?

@@wcthesecret he gets a friend. I'd say that's something.

Ironically, one of the characters shown in this video starts off as a nice guy but develops and eventually supports the main character's pursuit of her main love interest. It's Duckie from Pretty in Pink. And the fact that he didn't get her in the end caused a lot of uproar with audiences in the 80s! Lol!!

@@realsanmer no one wants more friends lolz

@@realsanmer you can be friends with anybody you want. Why would you want to be friends with a woman that you’re trying to get with?

Of course you gonna be nice to someone you're interested in it. So what's really your point?

@Daniela Rejas García what do you mean who cares? If a guy is only nice to you and not your friends and family he isn't actually nice is he? Only nice for the end goal which is you, doesn't sound very nice does it

@Daniela Rejas García okay I was just speaking generally but its seem you dont get the original comment if somebody is only nice to you and treats everyone else like trash. Then they're not a nice person and somebody i definitely wouldn't want to be my bf. You know common respect for the people around you

@Daniela Rejas García im sorry what... you dont want someone who is a decent person and respects others?? I seriously don't get it

@Daniela Rejas García If someone that is mean to everyone else, and if he is trying to date you and he is only nice to you. That mean he is only being nice for the reason of having sex with you. And he will stop using the fake "nice" persona, and he will revealed his true self

Hard to argue with that assessment, had they just been honest with her from the get go, then PERHAPS they could have spared themselves the heartache earlier! 💔

But really, the friendzone doesn't exist, people are allowed not to be attracted to someone, this is normal and can, sometimes, change over time, there is no "zone" you will fall into if you don't act fast

Facts

JUST A FAN Did you watch the video dude?

Couldn't have said it better.

Tell that to every guy who ever pursuit a girl and had to waste their time, energy and money only to get turned down afterwords instead of before it. Seriously, if someone gives you a gift without it being a special occasion. There's usually some reason behind it and you shouldn't accept if you're not interested on the person.

@@mrtyrant1680 The thing is that every time you try to get to know someone you have to risk getting turned down. That’s normal and that’s life. Therefore „wasting“ time and energy, potentially even money (even though I don’t think that’s necessary while dating) is a part of the risk. Also, the person you’re pursuing doesn’t owe you anything. Imagine a girl that you’re perhaps not really sure about yet would „waste“ their time with you and then expect you to propose to them. Wouldn’t that be strange? Wouldn’t it be unnatural or even scary? I would argue by saying you „wasted time and energy“ that you’re expecting the same from a girl/woman. It’s your responsibility to not be hurt and your responsibility to set boundaries. There are always people that’ll try to take advantage, unfortunately, but most people are just looking exactly like you and more often than not in dating - it’s simply not a match. So in the end dating is risking being hurt or turned down and there’s nothing that can change that.

@Someone 333 I repeat, if someone gives you a gift without it being a special occasion, there's usually something behind it. Especially if it's a expensive or extravagant gift. (Birthday, Christmas or other holiday gifts don't count, because I highly doubt that you get gifts otherwise unless you're a girl.)

@@mrtyrant1680 Had the gift giving situation happen to me once, I could sense the guy's ulterior motives. Thankfully it was nothing too expensive, I gave him a gift in return.

@@Aurelia2147 What I am about to say is a little offensive, but switching the roles around. When a women freely gives sex to a top tier man who has many options in girls, that man doesn't owe that girl a committed relationship either. A lot of girls pursuing these "friends with benefits" where the parameters of the relationship was already established from the beginning to then later demand the guy to be in a committed relationship, because the girl developed feelings later on, doesn't work that way either. Men cannot put commitment coins (time, effort, money, resources, loyalty, etc) into a girl and expect sex in return. A women cannot put sex coins into an attractive guy and expect a committed relationship in return.

proud of u bro

@@duygukaya8819 Thank you

You are so honest. You'll find your soul mate!

@@proudcynophile1901 it's really nice to see so much positivity in the comments on this video.

I Hope that you’re doing better these days it takes a lot to realize when we are doing something wrong or when we are being toxic

Glenna Smith I mean it’s quarantine so you have time to rewatch it now :)

I kinda think of meg as the female badboy character

in defense of my boi Heracles he was legitimately nice and always respected her boundaries, the scene where she tried to seduce him is the prime example since he was more interested in actually getting to know her than in "getting to *know* her", at the end of the day Heracles WASN'T just a shallow man who just wanted her body, but a trust worthy friend who saw the good in her and was literally willing to give up everything he had built up for her safety, that's a good boi right there.

Andrelize Van Der Walt to be fair, though, Meg had had her heart broken one too many times and was convinced that all men are like this. We created a nice guy Trope as a way of illustrating how not every man in the world is driven by his passions, and can show kindness. Unfortunately, overtime, people began to be inspired by these romantic leads to put on a false halo of kindness around themselves to make themselves look more romantic and thus, more appealing to Women. In turn this causes the nice guy to commit a greater act of perversity than even the overtly hormonal alpha male.

Well, to be fair, women are responsible for that one

'Nice guys' don't pursue their female equivalents because they see all the negative qualities in them that they can't see in themselves.

Should a guy date a girl that he doesn't like just because she's in the "same social hierarchy"?

@@mrtyrant1680 should a girl date a "nice guy" who might be even BELOW her league just because he fakes kindness

Leilane Herondale hmm hmm 😂😂 yooo

@@leis7454 That's not what I said. When I was 16 some people tried to put me together with a girl in my class just because we kinda fitted together. (Appearance wise.) But I was interested in another who was more attractive then myself but we had a lot of things in common and enjoyed the same type of stuff. (She was a hard core gamer just like me. )

In that show it was on both sides. Rachel "broke up" his relationships with Juli and Mona and also she kind of did a "nice guy" or "nice girl" thing with Joshua.

Let's be honest. Both Ross n Rachel are control freaks. They deserve each other.

Didn't he wind up getting the girl, though? In fact, when he and Rachel had outs, he wound up banging others, throughout the series. So, his being toxic kind of backs up the bad boy vs. nice guy argument somewhat.

Yes, I thought Ross was a whiny a*hole from the beginning. He didn’t do anything for any girl that didn’t somehow benefit him.

@@whyohwhy9679 exactly!!!

So true! But the good thing is that the show goes to great lengths to show just how bad of a person Joe truly is and doesn't portray him as a nice guy because we can always see his true actions, emotions, feelings and thoughts that he tries to twist in order to feel like he is a "nice guy".

@@elizaandreadaki9942 YES they make us understand why he does the stuff he does, not forgive or think it's a good thing in such an amazing way

@@elizaandreadaki9942 and the stupid audience falls for it and views him as a sympathetic protagonist

@@edithputhy4948 I don't think so. At least most people I've seen tall about him consider him disgusting. Now there are always even dumber people so I can't say there won't be a few that think he's sympathetic or even attractive etc

@@elizaandreadaki9942 Unfortunately Many people do see Joe as sympathetic and Demonize Beck as a result it's so sick how they even the author justify and romanticise a serial killer and stalker and abuser.

Jessjess23 Brooks - thank you for saying this. I always thought of myself as being nice because I’m simply not a jerk, it’s in my nature. Now people cant even be nice without it having some creepy ulterior motive. No wonder incels exist. You’re either an asshole that gets what you want or you’re a nice guy that’s even worse than the asshole because no one knows what you want. Sometimes people just want love and to be loved. Good luck to all the single people searching for love out there because you need it.

@@hypocritetrollbot7729 being nice is the baseline for being a functional human being, it should go without saying, no one deseves a medal just for being nice.

Jessjess23 Brooks I was a bad bully when I was in High School, I had a friend that was a geeky little blond guy that loved cars as much as I did, we were kind of secret friends, he was bullied by the “Nice Guys” that swore I was satan in the flesh because I was a total dick to them, they were “sweet” with girls but I could see them for who they were, my friend, who we’ll call Ben tried to kill himself one summer break and this dudes told him shit like he should do it again and no one would miss him, That same day Ben and me started hanging out every day and we became super close, we ended up becoming a couple and marrying, he always tells me he knew I was kind but I was acting like a dick to fit in and be cool but I was the only person that cared about people who were bullied by “nice people”, I actually targeted the nice guys because they were the biggest dicks of them all and they made everyone think I was the bully for trying to stop them.

MLBlue30 - agreed, but vilifying all nice people because a very small few may have ill intentions is not a good approach for humankind.

Jessjess23 Brooks Thank you perfectly said

Yes! I can't stand this type of characters, they think that everything creepy that they do, makes them special and unique... Like standing outside of any place waiting to the girl that they have a Crush on

Or the self-confessed guy’s girl. She loves to drink beer, hang out with the guys and doesn’t get women!

i would say the nice guy is even more harmful given how far they can take their acts. but yeah, both annoying

I’m not off the hook either, I had this phase in middle school. As I got into feminism I realized how my behavior poorly reflected the society I want AND the ideals I claimed to represent. So I put the breaks on my misandry and sexism, and began to try be the image of a feminist I want to see more in the world. My opinion of course.

Jayquill Berry I also went through a brief “I’m not like other girls” phase in school... it wasn’t pretty. I was all “Yeah, I play video games and my favourite colour is black. I don’t like pink or wearing makeup or skirts like those other girls do! You can have an ‘intelligent’ conversation with me.” I cringe so hard whenever I remember. When most of us try to ‘be like the boys’ we stupidly think it means we have to belittle other women, as if those other women were lesser than us or competition for guys attention. Luckily, I woke up from that pretty quickly and realised that yes I like both skirts and video games... almost as if human beings are multifaceted and can enjoy a variety of different things. And that’s what makes us unique.

98% of girls give MIXED signals and not straightforward emotions.

But Tyler was the villain.

Exactly, it reaks of the misogyny and male entitlement of our society. "Women should stop being so superficial and want me for meee" (I heard this is from a "nice guy" in his late 30s, still living with parents, overweight with drinking issues and ONLY interested in 10 years' younger classically attractive, slim women with their shit together)

Ouch. Why you gotta fucking kill em?

Manophere. com loooll, it’s ‘your brain’... ‘you’re the one with privilege’... you’re still not helping your case

Really good point

@Manophere. com The Handmaid's Tale was also based on real things. Look it up. The author Margaret Atwood has said such.

Perfectly sums up Twilight's Edward Cullen

@@golden_boundaries She was super into him tho... or is it r*p* because he's an immortal vampire and the power dynamic is too much in his favor xD

Oh sweet irony

pIayingwithmahwii OP never brought up rape, so idk why you brought it up

He said nice not considerate

Half the human race would not exist if guys immediately took no for an answer.

@@clintirwin3468 clearly he did too much and was a stalker

@@nicoleonlysometimes824 And 99% the the audience of The Notebook is women.

@@clintirwin3468 Uhh, I’m really hoping you do understand no still means no. Men and women both need to understand that no means you stop completely and move on.

@@Megan-jx3dy No means no in college classroom theories about sex. You should read some of the vast majority of the erotica WOMEN write that make billions a year. In real life, there's no that means no, and no that means "convince me." College classroom sex theories seem to have been put together by virgins. In real life there is something called seduction. College professors think seduction is rape. The vast populace OF WOMEN do not.

What do you mean will smith?

@@luisdaniel9542 I think they meant Will Ferrell

James Exum 😂😂😂

Oh yeah I remember him. Megamind is kind of a masterpiece, love that movie.

Also, The Purge season 2.

nervengewitter Yes because women tend to have unrealistic standards regarding a guy when they are very young and if and when they do obtain what they want the guy usually is not the kind of prince charming they were expecting or realize they can’t change him...in my experience most of the really hot guys were one of the rudest people I’ve ever known/arrogant so that’s why I feel like the ones that don’t have the best looks sometimes usually do have a better hearts Because they don’t have the luxe to make up for it so they have to try they have to put more effort to get attention from a girl they find pretty or cute but then again the cycle can go back to that guy and only be attractive women that are genetically attractive but there’s a lot of guys that still go after average type of women and those average type women are trying to get at the really attractive guy that they’re not gonna give her the hour of the day and then the average girl will miss out on a really great guy... So yes basically if you’re not generally attractive you’re going to have do you use your personality more to win somebody over.

Amen. I'm tired of people feeling sorry for these, "nice guys" who use sympathy to trap you. They also use smiles to disarm you, so you are more comfortable around them, and easier to manipulate. I'd also rather be single for the rest of my life than date someone who is a pretends to like me, and obviously reveals no authenticity, genuineness, or interest in me as a person.

@@sofiabravo1994 good looks only make it easier in the very first stages of dating, your personality shows very quickly. This goes for both men and women. Conventionally hot women also have an easier time finding a date, but again: if you're not compatible character-wise, it doesn't help. And better looking people can be conceited and shallow, but often they're also sick of people only looking at the outside. Plain looking people on the other hand don't have "hearts of gold" just because they're not pretty. Maybe sometimes. I've also known very rude ugly people.

Exactly! I've been there...

Ok

Oh my god. I feel that so hard. My ex husband was a "nice guy." When we first met, he spent months and months torturing me during my college years by forcing me to stay up till 4am and listen to him sob and threaten to kill himself if I wasn't with him. He made me lose sleep and my sanity so many times while I tried to console him (even though I had much bigger problems than he did. By that point in my life I had been ghosted by an ex partner, raped, experienced homelessness, medical issues, surgery etc...). But in his view, his suffering from my rejection of him was greater than any other suffering in the world so I had to put my feelings aside and care for him. I eventually caved in and married him, but thankfully I am now divorced because I know better. When I was with him, I felt like I wasn't allowed to have permission to choose my partner, it had to be him or I'd pay the price (he would kill himself). I lived for years with that threat over me. Now I realize I am responsible for no one's happiness but my own. Nice guys are entitled and mentally weak men who expect women to rehabilitate them or be responsible for their happiness. Honestly, I've lived through domestic violence in my house growing up and was married to a Nice Guy. And I'd say, in some ways, the scars and trauma inflicted on me by my Nice Guy ex were worse.

Exactly!!!! Omg, while I was watching this video I was thinking about all this fake nice guys that were just obsessed.

And they act like you can control who you are in love with, and what would be worse? being rejected or being in a relationship where the other person doesn't love you but can't reject you since you are "nice"

I always feel guilty and leave thinking something is wrong with me that I can accept love...but ur comment really made me feel better bout myself...

Yeah this applys to both man and women. I only wish more people would understand this in the world.

Also don't be nice just to expect something in return. Be nice just because that's basic decency.

Charley Griffiths as my dad always said “if you have to say it, it’s probably not true”

R Parker fair point! Think it’s more that if they’re a genuinely nice person, they will do nice things without even thinking, rather than faking nice things for an ulterior motive

Anytime someone offers up random, unsolicited information like “I’m a nice person” or “I’m very honest” I automatically suspect them of being the opposite. I have no idea why else they would feel the need to point those things out unless they were trying to cover something up that is a big enough problem to be on their mind frequently enough that they just random ass start talking about it.

@Riki Kage If your response to someone saying that nice people don't have to go around saying they're nice because if they are truly nice it will show in their actions is to pull a half-assed whatabouttism then it just sort of marks you as a "nice guy" even if you're not one. No one is saying that women can't be scum but read the room dude, if the topic of the video is the "Nice Guy" trope in the media of course people will talk about "Nice Guys" and not focus on the topic of gold diggers which is something that has nothing to do with the video.

@Riki Kage While some incels are nice guys not all nice guys are incels so while that equivalency is not wrong it's also not a concrete fact. Also what does that even has to do with either of ours previous comments? Because it does not add anything to the conversation besides a vague confusion over your definition of context and maybe a bit of misdirection

And he seems to kill cause he likes it...or at least doesn't mind doing it!

@Manophere. com JAMES BOND EXPOSED

@Manophere. com I like James Bond.

All human motives are selfish in the end...

@@silverhetch3383 And it doesn't matter if you are male or female either.

I tend to think that an uncovert narcissist is a little bit more moral over a covert narcissist as they tend to hide their motives

Justin Die I agree, it’s harder to spot a covert rather than a grandiose narcissist until you’re involved with them for the most part, but there’s behavioral patterns that are there if you look. Sometimes they slip up and you can see it more clearly. I feel like people like this (nice guys) even if not covert narcissists, tend to have similar mindsets. Which is, sad. It’s all stemming from deep insecurity and a lot of the time a deep sense of entitlement.

Touche!

As a nice guy, BIG YUP. I'm learning to be self-aware of that, its a hard thing to learn. Trying to unlearn that in my marriage.

bryan diaz varela Fun fact: Narcissistic personality disorder is way more common in men than it is in women.

That's a pretty narcissistic viewpoint. Maybe they cut off the friendship because they didn't want to have to suffer feelings of unrequited love all the time. It's not that they didn't value the friendship; they just needed to protect themselves from neverending rejection.

We have a saying in Turkey that sums up the hypocrisy of so called nice guys: “kizlarin efendi adam yerine pic tercihi.” The translation is: “Girls choose the bastards(playboys) over nice guys.” They like to use it when they got rejected to belittle the woman.

I think it's possible to continue to be friends with people even if they reject you. I agree space helps, but if you thought they were a good enough person to love, then you probably want to keep being friends with them

​@jej3451 I don't think it's narcisstic to look at it like this. The male friends seemed to have blamed her for not having feelings. So what should she do? Fake those feelings so they can be happy?

Nathaniel Banton YES thanks for recognizing it and changing🥺 you're already better off than most guys

You got this

HELL YEAH I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

This is one of the best comment, no anger or frustration, no defense or blame, just recognition and going for growth. You go! 👏🏻

Glad you recognised it. Kudos! :)

Being nice is one thing, I'm all for a decent chill kind guy...if he's genuine some guys take this and pervert it. They basically groom the girl to try to match his fantasy to reality and if that fails then it's the girls fault and he's the victim.

Obama Doesn't Love Me No More Or the guy was an asshole to begin with. It can go both ways.

@Obama Doesn't Love Me No More how...... can...... someone...... turn...... into...... an...... asshole..... if they're really a nice person in the first place ? good people don't just *TURN* into bad just because people *REJECT* them

And “he”- those guys- usually was never nice in the first place. He was just a selfish dick who _thought_ he was being oh-so-nice to the girl he wanted to impose his fantasy on. But it was all about him, and his fantasy, not her. Not her as a person, just his projection. (Before you try to flood my comment with replies, I won’t respond to you. My comment is for anyone else who might read it, not you, hopeless case.)

its the same game. its just a different strategy with the same goal in mind. its just a somewhat sleazier way of going about the gameplay.

Does she also call you her fiancee or is this like a one-sided thing?

was she a random girl, because most girls wouldn't appreciate it if a random guy just asked to get dinner out of the blue

Wow you cheated on your husband with a guy you knew wanted you physically and you’re shocked he wanted you physically. Le shock. I guess that’s karma for ya.

Do you guys understand that this man is an abuser?

1. They were separated, that's not cheating, they're broken up the divorce just isn't official. Plenty of divorcing couples agree to see other people. 2. Still wouldn't justify rape.

are you divorced now?

He only got over Rosa because he ended up having a love interest in Chloe from 24

When I think "true nice guy" and "Brooklyn 99", I think Terry.

Mia Ferrari Yes we need more positive masculine characters in shows so young boys will learn how to act

Agnieszka Kanska YES HE IS SO SWEET

Let's not forget Terry , who is so gentle and nurturing !

Penny and Sheldon had more chemistry than them tbh

@@raspberrycrowns9494 Way more!

Yeah I hate Leonard! Penny deserved someone better.

The whole show was just made to be fantasy fulfillment for bitter "nice guys." Hence why Penny, the hot, popular girl from high school, is working a shitty job and completely fails at her dreams, while dating a cycle of exaggerated idiots and jerks. It's only after she chooses to date/marry Leonard that she gets a good job -- in fact, one that makes even more money than his! Wow, didn't that work out so well for poor little Leonard, waiting in the wings? And of course, he is even rewarded with her abandoning her childfree status and getting pregnant in the finale! And let's not even talk about Bernadette, who is more accomplished, higher paid, and out of the league of her creepy husband, Howard, yet still takes the place of his mother by doing ALL the cleaning and cooking while he plays video games. Oh, and of course, she also abandons her desire to remain childfree for his sake. Yeah, Chuck Lorre shows are literal cancer.

I agree. A woman like her shouldn't ever have even dated him. The fact they were together in real life, bothers me a bit lol

I’m sorry. Self discovery and evolution for the better is necessary but hard. Keep working on your self. Your girl will come when it’s the right time. After all, if it’s forced it’s not natural.

"Bad guys" know what they want, and wont take bullshit, thats why they r better

I agree but can you give off some movie examples? Does 10 Things I Hate About You count?

Also they are more honest I think, the "nice guy" wanna be always good in front of the girl but the "bad boy" just says what he thinks and doesn't give a sh!t his opinion is unpopular or whatever.

@@andreasmeelie1889 I believe we should not believe that the guys in movies are real, because they are not. You can't see movies and expect real life people to be like them, bad guys in real life, and nice guys in real life are totally different, they share some stuff, but not all. Like bad guys, you can't make them change, you just find their soft spot. And nice guys, they look nice and everything, and sometimes they are, but sometimes they are just creeps.

bad boys are bad boys because they are rebels nice guys are nice guys because they represent the status quo

It's sad that men are notoriously so awful at treating women like human beings that we have a subset who feel the need to call themselves "nice". "Nice" is a vague descriptor, should be the bare minimum for how to treat all other human beings, and doesn't entitle you to anyone's attention, affection, or other access to their bodies.

I'm so tired of men and women constantly complaining about a complete strawman that doesn't exist. Yeah, when women or LGBT person asks for sex, it's because they're horny, but when a straight male asks for sex, it's some kind of weird Vulcan logic about transactions. Can I just state how I feel, without people trying to question internal thought logic?

@@aaendi6661 no one said men cant want or like sex. the problem is when they feel entitled to it, refuse to take no for an answer, or feel women owe them sex for being "nice." or if they dont make their intentions clear from the beginning and pretend to be friends with someone when in reality they're just waiting for the person to give them sex.

@@rebekahmikaelson1198 Women and gay men act the same way. People just don't notice it because they never question it. When you're a straight man everybody puts you through shit-tests.

@Cocoa Lee it does exist even when you're clear up front

? ? ? ?? ? ? ? ? yeah, me too.

Wow, I'm astonished by how much contempt there is for nice guys in the comments, as a nice guy myself I can tell you that a lot of the motives girls (and this video made by women) attribute to us is wrong....yes there are sleaseballs out there who try to worm their way into a girls pants by acting nice but mostly it is for other motives, for example the emotional manipulation nice guys do is not because we want to imprison women( that would defeat the purpose of being nice) but because we see you looking at the bad boys and feel insecure. I will stay on here if anyone has any questions, but please be respectful.

Andreas Lind i agree that there are some actually nice ‘nice guys’ out there like it was mentioned in the video. please don’t take these comments personally. :D

@@lsdieleknfkk It's the same principle as someone saying they have a superior intellect or other self-described positive attributes. Without showing the trait, describing yourself in this way just makes you seem like a grandiose narcissist. The manipulative and controlling behaviour attributed to narcissism also seems to be correlated to the "nice guy" persona.

@@andreaslind6338 well maybe there's contempt because many women actually experienced the "nice guy" at least once? I certainly did and it was traumatic. And you are repeating what every thing that a nice guy says as a lazy excuse of their insecure behavior. If you are nice to people, then is okay. If you are a nice guy to women.... then you are not trustworthy.

That's why I never tell anyone I'm a nice guy until the restraints are firmly secured.

Once night I was walking home from the gym, a random guy approached and started talking to me. I was not in the mood and wasn't even registering what he was saying. Until he used the words 'a nice guy' and I immediately pulled out my pepper spray and aimed. Flat out told him to stay the fuck away from me. I was not having any of it.

Yup, you shouldn’t have to *explain* that you’re nice if you are

@Meme Iselfaneye da fook? 😕😓

Meme Iselfaneye not funny dude..

Interesting to hear a personal experience and glad to hear a positive example!

One of my friends told me to watch "You" and said it was so romantic how the guy will go to any length for someone. I couldn't get past the first episode lol that's not romantic and I don't want to see how it ends... I KNOW how it ends to a well enough degree and that's not entertainment imo.

That's not really fair considering all the people that joe killed prior to actually even killing beck were very toxic to her life he felt he was doing her a service, beck was being manipulated and stalked way before joe even came into the picture was his brand of "love" extreme yes but did she in fact inadvertently need saving yes.

Hmm not a fair comparison in my opinion since sure, edward watching bella sleep is creepy but that doesn’t mean he himself is creepy, also the fact he hasnt been human for 100 years kinda pushes him form a normal person’s perspective. I think Stephanie wrote that to remind the reader that despite all his human qualities, he’s still a predator

@@Mini-Toast_ the main character of You isn't a 'nice guy'. he's just a psychopath.

Narutotrickzxtv 3D are you insane?

F A C T S

My go to reference when talking about this trope.

Yeah now I'm really glad that he was the villian

He's a grade A incel, too.

Megamind was so ahead of its time. Truly a marvel.

Same. It's like it's so impossible to believe that I genuinely meant no

You know, I've heard the term so much.... like where did it come from. Has anyone ever like legit 'played hard to get'. Like how does that even work? String a guy or girl along for your own amusement until you finally decide to say yes, for shits and giggles? I've heard the phrase countless times but ever met anyone actually playing hard to get.

Some do play hard to get. It happens a lot

John Ambrose is a true sweetheart, pure hearted

They are both really genuine. John Ambrose realized right away when they kissed that LJ didn’t have the same feeling for him and he accepted it. He’s an icon.

Peter and John Ambrose were BOTH sweet guys, Lara Jean definitely had a tough choice to make, either way. But ultimately, John Ambrose accepts that Lara Jean stills loves Peter, and doesn't push her into having feelings for him, and lets her be happy.💖

Peter always respect LJ boundary. Both can be Nice people

Peter was the real nice guy for the first movie and John Ambrose is the real nice guy of the second one

Truth

"it's easy to ditch someone who's mean to you." Is it? Tell that to the relationships where one is clearly a physically abusive dirtbag

They do go after douches, confident douches. Being a shy guy that's also toxic is basically all of the toxic parts of masculinity with none of the good parts.

@@danbrown1344 lmao believe me from experience they may not have the confidence but they sure have the audacity. There's nothing at all toxic about being shy; what's toxic is trying to manipulate people into filling roles they don't want for themselves and getting upset whenever it doesn't work, whether your chosen methods are physical aggression or mind games

Ouch. Someone call the fire department cause that burn was hot.

That's right. Women don't do much of the "going after" in either case, at least not in American culture with its polarized gender roles.

@@hangukhiphop most girls get humiliated by the guys they go after

@æBLINKingSOMMUNGCHI withREVELUVforUAENA I read the webtoon of “True Beauty” and stop when they started the love triangle, because I was so angry they mess up with Suho and Jookyung. Sorry but Suho and Jookyung are end game since the beginning, don’t know why they try to put Seojoon between them. So no I’m happy with the main couple, glad they end up together. I never want to watch School 2015 because I didn’t like how the story was going, so I admit I would have a second lead syndrome there.

Heck, even Joey was very nice. Stupid, but nice.

Visplight yeah and at least joey didn’t pretend to be nice to sleep with women. When he wanted to sleep with someone he let them know up front.

i wouldn't know about "thick and thin" tho...pun intended

@@blehll5250 There was an episode when Monica was still obese and Chandler loved her anyway, if that's what you meant.

@@emiprzyczyna5222 oh really didn't know about that. thanks for letting me know

And if he says that he's a bit of an a-hole? ;P

But I really am

If a guy is actually nice, it should be self-evident.

I dated a guy who said “I’m not sure I’m a great person” but all his actions over the course of months just showed that he’s intent on putting work in to be a good person. Actions speak louder than words.

I´ve told some people i try to be a good guy. It´s not that different of a statement but what do you reckon?

…yes you can…that’s literally how love works. It’s an easily manipulated emotion that involves multiple factors. The problem is keeping them loving you.

That's not a "nice guy" ffs. That's a regular abuser during the honeymoon phase.

@_jeff _ nah, nice guys are shit (this is the topic we're talking about here) and girls/women have nothing to do with this.

Do people really get trapped with "nice guys"? Most NIce guys are pretty harmless. I have never met a woman who actually feared her Nice guy. Women leave nice guys all of the time. Women get trapped by sexy men, who are bad. Why? Because these men magnetize these women toward them, and these women can't break free from their magnetic pull. Nice Guys are characterized by having virtually no magnetic pull whatsoever. All they have is validation and service, and women can leave that pretty easily when they find a sexier option.

In nature this behavior in males is called "mate guarding". It's thought to have arisen from the biological fact that male paternity is not assured.

@@LifeLikeSage This video here can only give you a 'Start'. The Nice-Guy-Pandemic is BIG and COMPLEX (and yet all so simple...) so i recommend watching more Content-about-this-Topic.

Exactly

simps are nice guys

Stimp?

@@Pissicist2394 lmao

Full incel

That's how you write a genuine nice guy! Yay Michael Schur!!

I only know Chidi, but yeah, he's so amazing!!!! Michael Schur is an amazing human being for creating such wholesome characters!!

Don’t skimp on Ron and Andy (and even Larry/Garry/Terry/Jerry) there! Those guys were the best. I always loved how Ron was a stereotypical ‘man’s man’ who never let that cause any fear or hatred in him. He still admired strong women and wanted to boost Leslie, April and, later, Diane up at every opportunity.

Understanding yourself is the best thing in the world. I'm glad that you were able to achieve that. It took me years to understand why I deliberately tried to scare guys away by acting odd or rude when they showed interest in me. I, too, finally figured out who I was and I like myself much better for it. I also make for a much better friend. :) Movies TV shows can really mess people up by creating a "normal" that isn't healthy.

Good for you!

Saaaaaaaame dude. I didn't go to therapy but now I see I should have. There's also so much in the media about how "respect women" is portrayed. It's sold as if you respect them they'll give you what you want and when it doesn't work that you become super frustrated and that's where the outbursts come from. For me I was afraid to ask for what I wanted because I used to internalize rejection. I was lucky enough to have a very patient friend walk me through my own bullshit (as well as he could, he's not a therapist). It also gets reinforced a lot when people say "you're such a nice guy" as compliment which leads to even more frustration when you don't get your needs met. Although this is going to be unpopular it's true. Women tend to play a huge role in it as well. They'll keep nice guys in their orbit to get validation and give them crumbs to keep them around and then play victim when the guy finally blows up. At the end of the day it's insecure people manipulating other insecure people to feel better about themselves.

@@nmarrs8539 It takes a lot of courage to be this self aware and honest about how your behavior affected others. Congratulations on your sobriety! I'm 2 years clean myself.

It takes a lot to examine yourself. You are on the right path. Carry on!

Curious Mafia Goon watchmojo is like middle school level analysis; this channel is multidisciplinary university-level shit

Nailed it

So true

And if they hated men

@@munchiesfrankenstein894 who?

Let a random stranger like me say to you: thank you for your words. May you live a happy life 🌟

Feel you; I used to be a "pick me"; had to go through some growth to realize that other women weren't the enemy.

@Nicholas Hansen I was more in shape in my teenage years than nowadays. That was not the issue

We love self improvement

I agree but don't feel these guys look at it as pretending. They really do want to be close with who they like. They settle for whatever title puts them closer to the person they desire. A girl can say friend but he won't think of himself that way. That is part of the problem for sure. Glad you grew up but don't get married. It's a trap... You can spend the rest of your life with someone without gov't approval lol

This.

Holy shit 😟 I'm so glad you got rid of his toxic insecure ass... Hope you're okay now! Hugs!

Media that says this kind of insecure bulshit is fine is a BIG PROBLEM.

Jesus Christ that went dark..............

I hope you are okay. Dang he is creepy.

Pyx Hey. as a single guy who was the never-went-for-a-girl-because-he-will-get-into-an-arranged-marriage-later guy, I resent that statement. It sounds too dark and gives no hope to the actual ‘nice guys’. The empathetic and can take no for answer type. (Not that I’d know.)

I agree. The reason women might find bad boys attractive is not inherently because they are bad, it's just that they are often confident and assertive. Sure they are not always ideal partners but they still show some authenticity instead of putting on this fake persona. Confidence is an attractive trait, and many women are also attracted to healthy, funny, confident individuals who are not "bad boys". It's not about the bad part like some of these incels claim.

@Glenna Smith I'm not a man so I don't really know but confidence is an attractive trait regardless of gender in my opinion.

or you could just „authentically“ not be an asshole and accept a woman rejecting you even though you‘re „nice“. The conclusion from this video isn‘t „stop acting like you respect women and just be your authentic misogynistic self“ but „maybe consider seeing women as individuals with a free will and taking ‚no‘ for an answer.“

@Glenna Smith Well a lot of men also pursues women who are assertive and "aggressive". There's a reason why characters like Azula from Avatar and Mean Girls are popular among male viewers, hence the term "bad bitch" you would occasionally see from them. So as said before, confidence and assertiveness are one of the major traits that people look for. If you don't have any self-esteem or confident to show a thing about yourself like a hobby or personality, then what would any men or women like from you.

That's a very eloquent and insightful explanation.

Nice is an understatement for Chidi, he's a solid good man with the right values.

Facts

EXACTLY

@@RK-ep8qy best value being wanting to improve as a person

TEAM CHIDI

Omg, Trent was an excellent example of a Nice Guy 😅

​@@shoujokadyan5502 Trent was the best character on that whole show.

@@MrIansmitchell I still don't know if he actually ran with coyotes or not 😂

Oh boy! Trent is on a whole other level of crazy! 🤣

I WAS HUMMING THAT SONG ALL THROUGHOUT THE VIDEO

He was sort of a terrible person though. Just read the internet for that one.